Can Time Heal All Wounds?
by ExquisitelyUgly
Summary: Set after the cliff dive in New Moon. Alice doesn't return. Bella decides to further her relationship with Jake and try to move on with her life after Edward. Will she find the strength to deal with her past hurts? Will she find the love she deserves?
1. Decisions

**I own nothing. All belongs to SM.**

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**Bella's POV:**

Edward's words, spoken only in my mind – _Be happy_ – were what made up my mind. I forced my brain to shut down and acted before I could change my mind. I pressed my lips to Jacob's shoulder. It was swift and light, but I felt his body tense.

Jake's long fingers took hold of my chin and tilted my face up to his. His dark brows were knitted, his deep-set eyes surprised and wary. "Bella?" He didn't need to say anything else. I felt his unasked question reverberate through my body, stirring the area where my heart should have been.

The blush stole over my cheeks as our eyes stayed locked. I did not want him to ask questions; I just wanted him to react, so I could give this a try and hope that I didn't end up hurting myself or Jake even more. Since he wasn't reacting – he was frozen in fact – I decided to make another move before I could lose my nerve. I gave a slight nod and leaned forward and touched my lips to his neck. I felt the muscles tighten against them. His long fingers moved slowly up my back, to tangle in the knotted mass of sea and salt-encrusted hair. He gently tugged my head back, and I briefly saw his dark eyes burning with intent just before he leaned down to touch his lips to mine.

I didn't realize I was so cold until I felt the heat of Jacob's lips against mine. A small whimper escaped from my sore throat, and that was all the encouragement that was needed. I wrapped my arms around his neck, my fingers grazing the edge of his slightly shaggy hair. It felt like silk under my fingertips. His lips moved softly over mine, kissing first my upper lip, then my bottom lip. His lips quickly became more urgent. His tongue stroked over my lips, causing me to part them on a gasp. I felt the touch of his tongue against mine – a very new and overwhelming feeling – and reacted instinctively. I slid my tongue against his. We both began to breathe heavier; our teeth clicked together, our noses bumped as we tried to overcome the awkwardness of something that was new to the both of us.

I felt a fissure of heat slide up my spine, warming me completely as we both seemed to find the rhythm at the same time.

How more in tune could we be?

I lost myself for a moment in the slide of our tongues, the gasping breaths, and the feel of his one hand tangled in my hair while the other set a blazing trail down my back. Suddenly I remembered. Edward.

I pulled back quickly, gasping, the tears beginning to burn behind my eyelids.

"Jake…" I gasped. "I-I-I have to go," I managed to stutter, my face averted, as I managed to shove the door of my truck open and stumble up to the steps of my house.

I felt his warm hand touch my shoulder as I pushed the door open. "Bella? What's going on? You can't just run off on me here."

When I faced him, I could see the fire in his eyes, and the smile that was threatening to bloom into full-fledged happiness. That nearly did me in. "I'm sorry, Jake. I probably shouldn't have done that… I thought it was a good idea at the time…" I muttered, still trying to will the tears back.

His face sobered. "Why did you do it then?"

I leaned against the kitchen counter, my hands fluttering around, not sure what to do. "I, um… I thought maybe we could try…" I trailed off, not sure what I was trying to say exactly.

As usual, Jacob read my expression. "You wanted to see if we could try a relationship?" he guessed. His expression hardened a little. "But then you felt as if you were betraying _him?_"

I began shredding a napkin. "Yes," I whispered.

"Bella, he's not here, and he's not going to come back." Jake's voice was harsh. I flinched and my arms reflexively wrapped around my stomach to try and control the gaping hole that Edward had left.

Immediately, his expression softened. He leaned against the counter next to me and wrapped me in his very warm embrace.

"I'm sorry, Bells," he murmured. "I shouldn't have said that." I rested my head on the broad expanse of his chest, his skin soft and smelling faintly of sea water.

"You know I'm willing, Bella, you know that I love you. If it's what you want, we'll give it a try. If you need to wait, I'll wait. I'll always wait for you."

I snuggled even closer to him, winding my arms around his back. "I do want to, Jake. But… bear with me, okay?" A few tears leaked out and slid down my cheek.

Jake leaned back a little and gently brushed his finger over the tears. "Your dad will be home soon, Bells. He's going to be upset about Harry and you should probably shower so he doesn't worry when he gets a look at you. Why don't I head out, and we'll talk tomorrow?" His dark eyes were soft as they held mine. I nodded in acquiescence. He leaned down and gently pressed his lips to mine. His heat invaded me again as he kissed me slow and sweet. Then he was gone.

I dragged myself upstairs to the bathroom. As I threw my clothes in the hamper, I caught my reflection in the mirror. My eyes were bloodshot from the salt water – and the tears – and my hair was curling in all directions. I examined my eyes a bit more closely, surprised to see even just the tiniest bit of life. Maybe this thing with Jake could really help. I stepped into the shower, letting the hot water pound against my sore muscles as I washed my hair with my strawberry shampoo.

After my shower, I dressed in sweats and a flannel shirt and went downstairs to start dinner for Charlie. I put together a salad and was boiling the water for pasta when I heard the door slam shut. "Bells?" he called out. His voice was more subdued than usual.

"In here," I called. He came into the kitchen. His eyes looked so lost and sad. I went over and wrapped my arms around him. "I'm so sorry about Harry, Dad."

He hugged me back; I could feel his arms tighten around me as if he was afraid I would disappear. The pain in his eyes twisted vines in my stomach, squeezing, making me ache for him. We held onto each other a little longer.

I felt horribly guilty about what I had done today.

What would it have done to Charlie if Jacob hadn't been there to pull me out? If Victoria had gotten to me first?

A solitary tear slid down my cheek to rest in the corner of my mouth. "Is Sue okay?" I whispered.

"She's trying to handle it, but she's hurting and overwhelmed. I'll be helping her get the funeral arrangements in order, Bells, so I probably won't be around much the next couple days." He swiped his eyes wearily.

"That's fine, Dad. Do what you have to do."

I turned to dump the spaghetti into the boiling water. "It'll be ready in a few minutes," I told him softly. He nodded and disappeared into the living room.

"With Jake today?" Charlie asked as we sat down to eat dinner. I knew he was just trying to appear as normal as possible. He wasn't eating with his usual gusto.

"Yeah, I was… at the beach with Jake." This was partially true. Obviously, I couldn't tell him the truth. _I jumped off a cliff and nearly drowned, but was rescued by my werewolf friend – who by the way might be something more – before the vampire stalking me could make me her snack._

"You okay, Bella? You sound pretty hoarse." Charlie eyed me with as much concern as he could muster.

"I'm fine. Just tired."

I poked at my food and managed to choke some of it down my still aching throat. I cleared off the table when Charlie was done, dumping my uneaten portion into the trash. I washed everything methodically and then poked my head into the living room.

"Dad, I'm going up to bed."

Charlie turned from the baseball game. "Okay. You sure you're all right?"

I nodded and trudged back up to my room. I turned the computer on and let it hum its slow way to life as I popped in a CD that was all music and no words. I pulled my hair up into a ponytail and sat down to check my email. I sent a brief one to my mother who was wondering what I was up to. I knew she was just checking up on me because of the tantrum I threw when my parents tried to ship me off to Jacksonville to live with my mom and Phil. I told her about hanging out at the beach with Jake. I didn't tell her I apparently had no common sense when attempting a cliff dive. That was something she would try; not me.

I turned the computer off, changed into a tank top and shorts and crawled into bed. I tossed and turned for awhile, the rain drumming softly on the roof as I tried not to think about werewolves and vampires. I finally drifted off into a restless sleep.


	2. Living

**Reviews are very motivating and helpful. =) I own nothing, of course.**

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Morning dawned gray and drizzly as usual. I located a pair of jeans and started to reach for my blue blouse. Edward used to say how he liked the color blue on me. The hole started to throb, so I quickly grabbed a green one instead and slammed the closet door shut. I trudged down the stairs, not looking forward to school and the stretch of loneliness it would surely bring. I saw that Charlie had left already, so I ate my cereal and watched the rain trickle down the windows.

With a sigh, I grabbed my raincoat and my backpack and headed out to my truck. The usual deafening roar of the engine drowned out any other sounds as I left for school. I parked my truck and made my way to my first class.

"Bella!" I turned as someone yelled my name.

It was Mike and he was smiling tentatively at me. I knew that the months of my catatonia affected everyone around me, but Jacob had brought me to life, and I had started slowly moving back in the same circles at school. I could tell everyone was still wary; unsure of when I would break again.

"Hey Mike," I murmured, mustering a small smile for him. He fell into step beside me.

"You working after school?"

Oh crud. I had forgotten I had a shift at Newton's after school today.

"Yeah, I am," I said, disappointment curling through me at the thought of waiting longer to see Jake.

"Cool. So am I! Hey, I'll see you in English!" He darted off, pelting Eric with rolled up bits of paper. I shook my head and went to my first class.

The morning dragged by. I wasn't sure which was worse sometimes – the fact that I had classes I at least had to sort of pay attention to or lunch when Jessica and Lauren had their usual gossip fest. I got in line in the cafeteria and picked out a soda and a slice of pizza. Lauren and Jessica were at it as usual, but luckily they were ignoring me. Mike grinned at me and pulled out a chair for me to sit down. With an inward sigh, I sank down next to him and gave Angela a small grin across the table as she rolled her eyes discreetly over Jess and Lauren gossiping.

I picked at my pizza, pulling the cheese into long strings, contemplating if I should call Jake from work, when I realized someone was talking to me. I glanced up to see Angela watching me, eyebrows raised.

I blushed. "I'm sorry. I was daydreaming. What did you say?"

"No problem, Bella." I was so grateful that she ignored my moodiness since everyone else gave me a headache about it. "I just said that you look… well, a little more at ease today."

It was her turn to blush now. "I-I mean…"

I gave her a real smile. "I know what you mean, its okay. I do feel better today."

"Is it because of Jacob?" she whispered, to avoid Jessica and Lauren's nose for gossip. Surprise caught me unaware. How did she know about Jake? Were we seen by someone? I wasn't sure I could handle that kind of gossip right now.

"Mike mentioned you, he and Jacob went to a movie a couple months ago. He said the two of you seemed pretty chummy." She bit her lip, twisting her lemonade in her hands.

"Its okay, Angela. It's not really a secret. Jake does make me happy." I left it at that.

"I'm glad. It's nice to see you happy." We both blushed at that.

Angela was one of the nicest people I knew. I saw Jessica eyeing us; she looked like she was about to say something, but thankfully the bell rang. I sighed inwardly. Biology was next and that held too many painful memories for me. Not only that, but I had gym afterward. I sighed and headed off to get it over with.

Two hours later, I was hurrying to my truck to get away. Biology was hard, as usual, but luckily Mr. Banner hadn't called on me, so I was able to keep the memories at bay. Gym was brutal. We were doing some kind of calisthenics to test our strength and flexibility. Of course I had ended up tripping over my feet and nearly falling, and I had toppled over trying to do push-ups. I could have told them my strength was impaired and my flexibility was damaged without the injury of showing them. I jumped into my truck and drove to Newton's.

Mike pulled in behind me. I hurried inside to avoid small-talk and grabbed my vest from behind the counter. I waved at Mrs. Newton as she sat at her desk in the office and proceeded to suffer through work. Mike kept up a small stream of chatter in between the few customers we had, and I ended up being grateful for it for once. During a lull, I went on my break and hurried to the payphone. I punched in the Blacks' number and waited impatiently while it rang. "Hello?"

Finally. "Billy? Is Jake home?"

"Hi Bella. He is, hold on a second." I heard some shuffling and murmuring and Jacob's husky voice filled my ear.

"Bells. When are you coming?" His impatience came through loud and clear, and I laughed.

"I get done at 7." I closed my eyes, letting the husky resonance of his voice wind its way through my body, where it gently touched upon the hole in my chest. It was like a soothing balm to a major itch.

"You want to come here? Or should I come to Charlie's?"

"I'll come there." I twisted a strand of hair around my finger and rested my forehead against the wall.

"Okay. I missed you today, Bells," he whispered.

"I missed you, too, Jake."

I hung up the phone and turned around to find Mike, just having entered the office area. He was watching me, an inscrutable expression on his face. He smiled then.

"Bella, I know it's only six o'clock, but my mom said to let you know that you could head out if you wanted to since it's really not busy today."

I tried to hide the fact that I was thrilled about leaving early as I nodded. "Okay, thanks Mike." He gave me one last unreadable expression and went back to work.

I threw my vest into my locker, called out a goodbye to Mike and Mrs. Newton and ran toward my truck. I stumbled, but caught myself on the side view mirror. I drove straight for La Push.

As the trees whipped by, casting long shadows on the seats of my truck, I couldn't help but wonder at my exhilaration in seeing Jacob. Edward was always lurking in the back of my mind; the hole in my chest still ached when I thought of him, but my excitement at being with Jacob since the relationship shifted was all-encompassing in its own way.

Could I really learn to love Jacob properly and move on with my life? He never lied to me; he always tried to protect me even if it was from myself.

I knew I trusted him with my life. And in a way I already did love him. But could I turn my back on someone who altered my life so dramatically even if he wasn't present anymore? Could I go forward with a new love when the old love was still so alive?

Is it even _possible_ to love someone as much as I did – and still do – with Edward? And how could I do that to Jake; it wasn't fair, though he knew how much I was still hurting over Edward. The questions wove sinuously through my mind, scaring me, making me question my capacity for love if I was thinking of moving on when my whole life had made sense with Edward.

Was this betraying him? It was making me wish for Jacob's strength and his warmth to banish the shadows of these thoughts. I knew I had to face them sometime, but I wasn't sure if I was ready for that.

Before I knew it, I was driving down the familiar trail to Jacob and Billy's little house. My truck thundered to a stop and before I could even turn the truck off and open my door, it was yanked open. I was in Jacob's arms before I could finish taking my next breath and it was cut off in his hug anyway.

"Gah," I managed to utter and he quickly released me with a laugh.

"Sorry," he murmured, his long fingers tipping my chin up. Again, Jake stole my breath as his lips brushed mine. The kiss was light and comforting. He tugged me closer, our bodies pressed together as he kissed me over and over.

"Jake," I managed to breathe between kisses. "Um, where's Billy? I'm not sure I'm up for any inquisitions tonight."

He pulled his face back, and his dark eyes bore into mine. "He's in the backyard, Bells." He hesitated, though, seeming to understand the uncertain ground we were on. "Come on, we just threw some burgers on the grill."

His long fingers wove through mine, the heat from his palm spreading to mine until I felt comfortably warm. His dad was sitting and chatting with Quil Ateara Sr. while Sam and Embry sat off to the side, heads bent over something.

"They're just eating with us," Jake said. He gave me his warm smile. "After that, it's just you and me." His expression was soft, but the look in his eyes made my stomach quiver.

His eyes spoke of whispers and promises, of heat, and love. The intensity scared and excited me.

"And Billy," I added unnecessarily, casting my eyes down from his direct gaze. I needed the assurance of Billy being there. Whether or not this would work, I knew there was an attraction between Jacob and I. He promised to take this slow, but I recalled all too easily how it could consume you. How I reacted to _him_ was like an icicle freezing onto a surface; I could barely let go. With Jacob that first kiss had been like a wildfire.

The hole gave a small aching throb, and I automatically wrapped my arms around my middle. Jake slid his arms around my waist, squeezing me tight against him. The ache eased a bit quicker this time, and I rested my head comfortably on his chest. I loved how Jacob always smelled so fresh; like the forest after a soft rainfall. Jake's chest was so comfortable, his arms so strong, I could have stayed there forever, but I heard Billy call for him. He took my hand in his again and tugged me along with him, chuckling as he kept me upright when I tripped over his foot.

Sam and Embry looked up. Embry gave me a grin and wave. "Hey, Bella!" he called out. His grin was so infectious, I had to grin back.

Billy and Quil Sr. called out their hellos, too, and I went to sit by Sam and Embry as Jake started sliding the burgers onto buns.

"Bella, I called your father for you - to let him know you would be here tonight. He's expecting you home around 10:30." Surprised, but pleased, that Billy was sweet enough to think of that warmed me.

"Thanks Billy. I appreciate that."

I sank deeper into the cushioned chair and drew my knees up. I was so glad the evening had cleared up and there was no rain. All the rain drove me crazy at times, but I loved the smell of the freshness afterward, and the bright green of the forest. There was a time when I craved the brown of Phoenix, but Forks had settled around me like a comforting blanket.

Jake brought me a plate with a burger, corn on the cob, and salad. I smiled and moved over so he could perch on the edge of the chair with me. He slid himself in, pulling my leg up so it rested over his and gave him more room. It was a relatively innocent gesture, but as I ate, I watched Billy from the corner of my eye to see him eyeing us speculatively.

After we ate our fill, Sam and Embry talked quietly with Jacob about patrolling and how there still wasn't any real sign of Victoria, though they doubted she was gone. I listened to their conversation, but stayed quiet. My hand was shaking, though, and Jake slid his down to wind his fingers through mine. I squeezed it, but could not keep thoughts of Victoria finding me alone or of her finding Charlie. The damage she could inflict scared the living hell out of me.

Sam got up to leave after their talk and called out a goodbye as he left with Quil Sr. Embry got up and stretched. He eyed us a little too knowingly. He was a little more perceptive than most.

"You two kids have fun," he said, a little grin curling the side of his mouth. He laughed and winced as Jacob punched him in the arm.

Jake wheeled Billy back into the house and came back out to sit with me. He perched on the chair with me again.

"Bells, I don't want you to worry about Victoria. We _will_ keep her away from you and Charlie."

He reached out, his long fingers gently brushing my hair behind my ear. I closed my eyes at the gentle touch and leaned into his hand. He turned on the chair so he was facing me. His other hand lifted, and I could sense his hesitation, so I leaned a little closer to encourage him.

If I was willing to try this, I needed to let him know it was okay for him to touch me. Most of the time he didn't have an issue with it, but since the dynamics of our relationship shifted, I guess he wasn't sure how I would react. His other hand touched my cheek, so now both his hands were cupping my face. He leaned down, and I felt a bit dizzy as his eyes met mine.

They were focused, dark, and roving over my face with hungry purpose.

This would only be our second "real" kiss, and I just hoped it was less awkward. My eyes dropped to his full lips just before they touched mine.

He kissed me slowly, first one corner of my mouth and then the other. He kissed my upper lip then nipped my lower one, causing me to gasp. His tongue touched my lips hesitantly, and I sank into his embrace. One hand trailed down my neck, my shoulder, and my back as he tugged me into him. His tongue slid between my lips, ever so slow, and a small sound emitted from my throat. The heat from his mouth was intoxicating, and I liked the way his lips molded to mine.

This kiss was amazing.

My arms circled his neck, drawing him deeper into the kiss. A small groan slid from his throat, vibrating against my lips.

His fingers combed softly through my hair until his hand was cupping the back of my head. He gently pressed me back into the chair, so his face was hovering over mine. When his lips disconnected from mine, I drew in a needed breath.

We stared at each other.

I wasn't sure what my expression was, but his eyes were filled with wonder. He leaned down and pressed his lips to mine once again in a shorter, but just as sweet, kiss.

"Do you want to go inside, Bella? We could watch some TV or… whatever you want." His voice was a little hesitant and huskier than usual.

I felt the blush working its way up until I felt the heat spread over my cheeks.

Jake started laughing. "I wasn't really implying anything when I said that, but hey, if you want to we could…" he trailed off as I punched him in the arm. He chuckled again.

"Sorry," he tacked on, a grin still lurking.

"Sure, sure," I muttered.

He pulled me off the chair and we went inside and collapsed on the sofa. I could hear Billy in the little kitchen, moving around. I propped myself up on Jacob's shoulder and yawned as he turned on The Discovery Channel.

"I'm turning in early tonight, kids. Goodnight," Billy said as he wheeled himself through.

"Night Billy!" I gave him a little wave.

As soon as he was out of sight, Jake slid his arm around me, pulling me in closer. I grabbed the pillow on the sofa and put it on Jake's leg and rested my head on it. He played idly with my hair as a special about wolves came on. We both laughed at the irony. As we watched, I felt my eyelids getting heavier and sleep overtook me.

It felt like barely any time had passed when I was woken up by Jake calling my name and stroking my cheek. I squirmed closer to him and the heat, not ready to get up, but he was being annoyingly persistent.

"What?" I muttered in a rather cranky voice.

I heard him chuckle. "Bells, you need to get up. Charlie's expecting you, remember?"

I groaned and rolled onto my back. My one eye cracked open as I realized I was still half-sprawled on Jake's lap. He was looking down at me, one eyebrow cocked, a smirk on his face.

"You know I'd love it if you stayed right there, but I don't need the wrath of Charlie," he chuckled.

I rolled my eyes. As I started to lift my head, Jake gently pressed me back down, angling his head as he ducked down to press his lips to mine. It was a swift kiss, and I couldn't help feeling a bit disappointed that I didn't feel his tongue touch mine.

"Mmm," he murmured. "I like sleepy Bella."

I pushed him away as I got up. I nearly tumbled over in the process.

"Why don't you let me drive you home, Bella? You look pretty exhausted."

I _was_ feeling really tired and letting Jake drive me home would banish any unwanted thoughts. I felt guilty enjoying Jake's kisses, and I was not in the mood to self-flagellate tonight.

"I can run home. It'll be faster." I nodded and let him slide in the driver's seat as I got in next to him. He tugged me against him and drove me back to Forks. I idly traced a pattern on his leg as he drove. Jacob's kisses were so different than… his. I did not want to compare them; I just knew I liked the way Jacob's tongue sought out mine and the way our lips seemed to fit together. The way he touched my hair or my face was an added bonus. I had felt treasured. I also knew that I had loved the feel of Edward's glass-smooth lips against mine, so I felt extra confused and sad.

Jake pulled up in front of my house and turned the truck off. He turned to face me. "Bella, I have some pack stuff to deal with tomorrow, I don't think I'll be able to see you."

My face fell. I had been looking forward to spending more time with him. "You are going to be busy all evening?" I knew my voice sounded a little petulant, but I could not seem to help myself.

He looked sad, too. "Yeah, I think so. I'll call you, though, okay?" I sighed.

He stroked his thumbs over my cheekbones and dropped his gaze to my lips. I leaned into him first this time and kissed him. He pulled me in closer, and I wrapped my arms around him, my fingers stroking his broad back. He touched his tongue to my lips then pulled away.

Then he turned and ran into the forest.

I sighed and let myself in the house. Charlie was just getting off the couch to head upstairs.

"Had a good time with Jake?" he inquired, raising his eyebrow.

I hoped he hadn't seen anything. I was so not ready to discuss this with anyone. "Yeah, I did. They had a mini cook-out and we just watched some TV."

I followed him upstairs, brushed my teeth and washed my face, then changed into my pajamas and crawled into bed. I knew tomorrow was going to be a long day and I turned over, restless and unhappy about it. I drifted off into an uneasy sleep yet again.


	3. Slip of the Tongue

"**Warm skin. Wolf grin. And where were you?  
I fell into the moon and it covered you in blue  
I fell into the moon… Can I make it right?  
Can I spend the night?"**

**-Angie Hart "Blue"**

**This song happens to make me think of Jacob… though I believe it was specifically written for a Buffy episode. Anyway, thanks to my two reviewers! Hoping for some more; helps me out with ideas and makes me more eager to write! **

**All belongs to SM.**

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The rest of the week dragged by, and I only saw Jacob once. So when Friday rolled around I was thrilled. Jake had said he would see me after school. I had to wait for Charlie to pick me up before I could see him, since my truck needed a quick fix-up. I planned on conning Jake into doing that for me this weekend. At lunch I sat near Angela and Ben. They were the only two who did not require a constant stream of chatter. By the time gym was over, I was raring to go. I met up with Angela, Ben and Mike as we headed out to our cars.

"So, Bella, I heard you have been spending a lot of time with that kid from the Quileute res." I heard Jessica's voice call out from behind me and I felt a slight sinking sensation in my stomach.

All interested eyes turned toward me. I swallowed hard. "Um, yes… Jake's a good friend."

"Is that all he is?" Jess gave me a teasing grin.

I wasn't sure if she was truly interested or being evil by putting me in the spotlight.

I decided honesty was the best policy. "Yes, well…" I started to say, but before I could finish my sentence, I heard the roar of a motorcycle come snarling down the road. I glanced up in shock to see Jake riding onto school grounds, clad in his standard jean shorts, and oddly enough, a white t-shirt that hid nothing of the definition of his chest. He roared to a stop, shaking out his shaggy black hair as he took the helmet off. "Bells!" he called out.

I had nearly frozen into the ground, but with a gentle nudge from Angela, I practically ran over to him in my excitement to see him. I could feel the stares of everyone boring into my back. Jacob gave me an incorrigible grin. "I told Charlie I would come and get you; he had to work a little later anyway. God, I've missed you the past few days."

He grabbed my hand, pulling me into his heated embrace and kissed me with pent-up energy. I gasped at the onslaught of emotions, my body reacting to his touch. He had always been careful with his kisses, but this kiss was like igniting a bonfire. His mouth was soft, but insistent. My lips parted on a gasp and he took the opportunity to slip his tongue inside.

Before I realized what was happening, our tongues were tangling, heat was raging, and I couldn't catch my breath. I managed to pull myself away, my lips tingling. He plunked a helmet onto my head, and I unsteadily climbed on the back, wrapping my arms around his waist. As Jake roared back out of the lot, I caught a glimpse of Jessica with her mouth wide open and everyone else staring in shock.

I clung to Jake as if my life depended on it as he raced us back to my house. My ears rang at the sudden silence when he turned the engine off. I staggered off the bike. "Um, Jake, aren't you forgetting that Charlie does not know or need to know about the motorcycles?"

He grinned. "Nope. But we're not going to be here long anyway. Go get ready – there is a big bonfire tonight at First Beach."

Without another word, I hurried into the house. I hustled about changing from my school clothes into my more worn pair of jeans, t-shirt, and black hoodie. Back downstairs, I rustled around in the fridge and found some leftover chicken and vegetables from the other night. I quickly made up a platter for Charlie, leaving him a note letting him know I was at the beach with Jake for a bonfire.

Jake was perched on the bike, waiting for me. "Come on, Bells!" He seemed a little more excited than usual. I grabbed my helmet and jumped back on the bike. In no time at all, he was parking the bike around the back of the garage. As I took my helmet off, I came to the realization that I was going to be hanging out with the pack and their girlfriends for the first time since Jake and I started dating. Dating? Is that what we were doing? Sadness threatened to overwhelm me suddenly, but Jake was in tune to my moods. He took my hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "It's okay," he whispered.

He led me down the path to the beach in silence, his hand twined with mine. I had no idea if any of the guys or their girlfriend's knew what had transpired between us. Why should I be afraid? These were guys I had hung out with, who had already called me Jake's girlfriend before I ever even considered the possibility. It wouldn't bother them… would it? I continued to panic slightly when the fire came into view. They were burning driftwood and the blue-green flames were beautiful. I turned to say so to Jake, but swallowed hard instead when I saw his face.

His eyes were watching me. I could barely see them in the dark, but I saw the expression in them when the glow from the flames caught his eyes.

I felt it in my bones.

Heat. Tension.

A bolt of some unknown feeling flashed in my stomach and spread. I did not want to move and break the spell.

"Yo, Jake!" Paul yelled and we both jumped and laughed a little. My stomach was still trying to turn itself inside out at that unexpected look as we walked over to everyone. It was intense. And sexy.

The guys surrounded us, talking and laughing

"Man, you missed it," Paul chortled, slapping him on the back. "Embry was chasing Quil in wolf form, full-on charging through the woods."

Jared interjected. "Quil was flipping out, trying to dodge him." He gave a bark of laughter.

"Quil turned to make sure I wasn't too close and crashed straight into a tree, severing part of it in half with his hard head," Embry finished, and he and the rest of the guys were howling with laughter.

I couldn't quite imagine the scenario, only having seen them in wolf form twice, once being when I didn't even realize they were human. I saw Emily move toward us and reach out a hand to motion me to follow her. As I turned and made to follow her, I felt Jacob give me fingers a squeeze and wink at me.

She led me over to an overturned log, much like the one Jacob and I had sat on when he told me of the Quileute legend and the Cold Ones. I hugged my middle a little, the ache throbbing. There was another young woman there, someone I didn't recognize.

Emily gave me a smile. "I thought I'd rescue you from the wolves and their odd brand of humor." She turned and motioned to the girl sitting by the fire. "Kim, this is Bella, Jake's friend. Bella, this is Kim. Jared knew her from school and just recently imprinted on her."

I looked at the girl in surprise. I wasn't one to judge people, but she had an average face, like me, and seemed rather calm about all this. She reached out a hand, brushing a wisp of black hair behind her ear.

"Hi Bella. It's nice to meet you."

I shook her hand and smiled. "You too." Emily pulled me down next to her.

"Emily said that you and Jake are just friends, but he wanted you to know the truth. I was a little surprised to hear that; I didn't think they wanted anyone outside of the tribe to know the truth." She surprised me with her frankness.

"Bella's been here off and on when she was younger, right Bella? Her father is one of Billy's closest friends," Emily added, spearing a hot dog onto her stick and holding it over the flames.

We continued to chat a little, Emily getting me to open up more. I could see Jake on the other side of the fire, still talking to the guys, his gaze meeting mine often. The firelight was dancing over his strong facial structure, and I was still struck by how beautiful he was. His dark eyes were so expressive, lit up in amusement at the moment over something Quil was saying. His full lips were stretched into his sunny Jacob smile.

My smile.

His long arms were gesticulating as he got more animated. His hair had gotten longer. It was lightly brushing against his ears now. I stood up to go get a soda out of the cooler off to the side. I was closer to the guys now. Jake's head swiveled in my direction, sensing me.

At that moment, Paul, who had his back to me, started laughing. "We should have invited Maria and the rest of the girls down tonight. Maria keeps talking about you, Jake, and man you can't go wrong. She's always eager, if you get my drift, and she's _stacked!_"

I froze in horror and embarrassment.

A few things happened at once. A gasp had involuntarily escaped my lips. Jake cursed and jumped up, his body already half-turned toward me. I saw from my peripheral vision that Emily had stood up, a look of shock and understanding on her face.

I jerked away from the cooler, ready to bolt. My entire face had flooded with mortification and my stomach hurt.

Before I could move, Jake was next to me. I tried to yank away, panicking. He quickly tugged me away from the fire and into the shelter of the trees. I just stared into the forest, avoiding Jake's eyes. I could not seem to stop shaking.

"Bella, honey. Please don't do this," Jake whispered, wrapping his arms around me.

"Do what?" I knew my voice sounded wooden. This could not be happening.

I was cramping Jake's style and apparently the whole pack thought so, too. Was Jake still a virgin or was there a side to him I did not know about? It didn't surprise me that there would be other girls interested in him. How could they not be? He was like the sun, the waves of the ocean, and the first burst of chocolate on your tongue.

All things good.

"Bells. There is absolutely no one I would choose to be with over you. Paul was just being an ass. I'm so sorry you had to hear that. Please… look at me." He forced me to look up at him.

His voice was sincere, but his eyes got to me the most. I could see into their depths. I knew Jacob. He was not like that; he was loyal, loving, and faithful. I didn't like knowing there was someone out there who wanted to take away _his_ innocence either. My chest continued to ache, and it would never be repaired if Jake was to cut this off before it could really get started. I tentatively wrapped my arms around his waist, resting my head on his chest.

He stroked my back, my hair, my cheek. He leaned down and pressed his lips to mine gently. As we stood there, I heard a rustle behind us. Paul moved into the clearing.

A little defiant.

A little angry, too, if the slight shaking was any indication, but I could see genuine remorse in the set of his lips. I was sure Sam had sent him. He would have come around, but he resented being sent in by his Alpha.

"Bella, I'm sorry," Paul said simply. "We didn't see much in Jake's thoughts about your relationship, but I can tell you we were not aware it had progressed. I'm sorry to have upset and offended you." It was grudging, but he was being sincere.

"Thank you, Paul."

Jake glared at him. "We'll talk later."

When Paul turned around and left, I sighed. _Way to overreact._ I knew I was still grieving for Edward, but now I was acting like a worried lover when Jake and I were nothing of the sort. That thought alone scared me; yet I could not seem to keep it from creeping into my mind now and again. It could happen and I could not help but feel a thrill of nerves shoot through me at the idea of Jake and me…

"Come on, Bella. Let's go back to the bonfire." I jumped at the sound of his voice. My arms had involuntarily tightened around him. I blushed at the direction my thoughts had taken.

"I don't want to. I feel like an idiot."

"You are not an idiot. My brothers' are idiots."

He stroked my hair back from my face and paused. "Why are you blushing?" he murmured.

"I'm not. I'm just feeling a bit overheated." Stupid excuse. He chuckled, but kept his thoughts to himself.

The pack would not meet my eyes and I felt so incredibly conspicuous. Emily handed me a soda and a hot dog and pulled me down next to her again. I felt awkward; I was not good at sharing my feelings with anyone other than Jake.

Or Edward. I winced.

"Bella, you don't have to say anything. I just wanted to say that I'm glad you are giving Jake a chance. He loves you so much." Emily smiled at me.

Kim was quiet. I assumed she didn't really know the whole story.

"The boys can be idiots, as you know. Especially Paul." She rolled her eyes.

"Thanks Emily," I said quietly. She had been hesitant about me in the beginning, but always genuinely nice.

A pair of strong hands rested on my shoulders. The words whispered in my ear tickled. "Come down to the water with me." His lips grazed my earlobe and I shivered.

The waves were gentle tonight as the moon cast a soft glow over them. Jake pulled me into his arms. His fingers traced a path up and down my spine, creating little sparks of heat. My own fingers had a mind of their own as they trailed up his strong arms, to his shoulders. I went up on my toes, urging him to lower his head toward mine. We were mostly out of sight of everyone gathered around the fire, and I could not seem to help myself. I wanted to feel his lips against mine.

His white teeth flashed in the moonlight – a wolf's grin – before his lips touched mine. The heat began in my stomach, spreading outward to my arms, my legs and all the areas in between. I whimpered against his lips, my tongue tracing the shape of them.

So soft.

He growled, gently biting my tongue. I gave a small gasp and pressed even closer to him. His hands were so warm as they moved under the back of my shirt to stroke my lower back. I turned my head, changing the angle of the kiss, and felt his tongue dip inside my mouth again. I finally pulled myself away. Air was becoming a necessity. Jake's lips explored the line of my jaw, his tongue tasting my skin as he went. I was clinging to his shoulders, my knees felt shaky, and I could barely think anymore.

I heard soft laughter and jerked away in surprise. Emily and Sam were standing a few feet away.

Emily cleared her throat. "Sorry to interrupt you two, but I think we are all about to head home. And you two might want to change into a new pair of pants." She and Sam were grinning at us.

Confused, I glanced down and so did Jake. The waves had been crashing against our legs, but we had both been, well, otherwise occupied. My jeans were soaked practically to my knees. I hadn't even felt the cold of the water, being pressed so close to Jacob. It felt like bathwater. I was a little embarrassed at being caught, but I had to laugh.

"Come on, Bells. We'll go dry off a bit, and then I guess you should head home."

We followed Sam and Emily back to the bonfire where everyone was packing up their things. Jake went over to help them douse the bonfire and pack up the trash, and I helped Emily and Kim finish packing up the food.

"You know, Bella, it _is_ really good you decided to give Jake a chance," Kim commented, a sly grin on her face.

I looked at her apprehensively.

"These Quileute boys really know how to kiss," Emily interjected, laughter making her dark eyes twinkle.

"And judging by my experience with Jared recently and from what Emily says, they have serious stamina and can really make a girl howl in bed," Kim added.

They both started cracking up, and I, of course, blushed as bright as a tomato.


	4. Fun and Discovery

Thanks to my repeat reviewers, new reviewers, and anonymous reviewers. And thanks for the suggestions. Much appreciated! Wanted to get this up a bit sooner, but the July 4th weekend kept me busy. This chapter is a bit longer than the rest, though. As always, reviews are great!

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_The wolf was walking along beside me, close enough for his fur to brush against my bare leg. The soft patter of rain dripped off the leaves of the tall trees. The rustle of creatures in the forest stirred around me. I heard an unfamiliar noise behind me, and I laid a hand on the wolf's back feeling a prickle of fear slide down my spine._

_I turned slowly, the wolf turning with me. His glistening fangs were bared, a very low snarl rumbling from the broad expanse of its chest, the russet fur bristled._

_The wolf was no longer there, but Jacob was standing there, holding me against him in a crushing, protective embrace. His lips sought out mine and as we kissed, I heard the whisper of a voice. "Bella?"_

_I looked into the shadows of the trees and saw Edward standing there, bone-white, a look of fury and sadness on his face. Jacob bared his teeth at him and they charged each other._

I woke up, screaming. My head was pounding, and I struggled to make sense of my surroundings. I blinked at the clock. 6:30 a.m. I had not had a dream in quite a few days, and I waited to see if Charlie would come in, then I remembered he was fishing early today. I heard a tapping sound on my window and I couldn't help letting loose another shriek.

"Bells!" the familiar husky voice called. "It's just me. Let me in!"

I peered out the window and saw Jacob perched in the tree. I opened the window and he motioned me to move aside. He catapulted himself lightly into my room. "You okay?" he asked, his brow furrowed with worry.

I swallowed hard. "Bad dream," I whispered. He sat on the edge of my bed and pulled me down next to him. I laid my head on his shoulder as he slid an arm around me.

"What are you doing here this early?" I murmured, yawning. I was beginning to feel tired again.

He twisted a strand of my hair around his finger. "I had relieved Jared a couple hours ago from patrolling. I was near the house when I heard you scream."

I nodded.

"Bella? About last night…" He cleared his throat nervously.

I immediately felt wary and a bit warm at the reminder and leaned away from him.

"I hope you realize that what Paul said - it doesn't mean anything. I just want you to know that I'll never leave you. I may be a jerk sometimes, and say the wrong thing, but I will do everything in my power to make you happy." His dark eyes were earnest when I lifted my head.

I twined my fingers with his, gazing down at his strong hand. His skin was so beautiful. "I know, Jake." I smiled a little shyly at him. He proved last night that he could make me happy just by kissing me in the moonlight.

He grinned, his eyes lighting up. He reached up and brushed his fingers through my messy hair. As I read the intent in his eyes, mine popped wide open, and I jumped up. "Um…" I stammered.

"What's wrong?" He frowned, looking a little put out.

"I, uh… well, I need to…" I managed to stutter and then felt incredibly stupid. "I need to brush my teeth first," I muttered, feeling a blush color my cheeks. It was stupid, but I couldn't kiss him without doing so first.

He laughed. My hand was still in his and he tugged me back down. "I don't care, Bells."

I half-heartedly tried to resist, but he lowered his head, his eyes fixed on mine and I forgot that it was supposed to matter. He just brushed his lips over mine, soft as butterfly wings. Then he kissed me softly. Once. Twice. Three times. I reached up and slid my fingers into his shaggy hair. I had felt the spread of heat when we kissed before, but hearing what Emily and Kim said, there was now a slow burn, pushing up from somewhere deep inside me to tingle through my veins like liquid fire.

I moved my fingers restlessly over his shoulders, as his fingers tightened at my waist. His tongue darted into my mouth, and I let out a soft moan. He pulled back and I whimpered at the loss of contact, but his lips just brushed over my cheeks, my forehead, and the tip of my nose down to my jaw. Each place his mouth touched left a little prickling trail of heat. His hand fisted in my hair, gently tugging it back. I gasped as his mouth settled into the hollow of my throat, before moving to the top of my chest.

A little frantic now, I pushed at his chest. "Jake," I gasped. His lips moved back up to place a kiss under my chin and then he leaned back to look at me. I nearly came undone at the look of lust, of longing, of fear that I would push him away.

"I…need to slow down." He released my hair and his fingers stroked the furrow between my brows.

I rested my head on his chest and felt his chin on the top of my head. "Okay, Bells. No rush." He paused and my heart began to settle.

"We're going to have a little fun today," Jake murmured. "Leave a note for Charlie – let him know we'll meet him at my dad's house for dinner. We're having a dinner to help Sue out."

"Oh okay. That's a good idea. What are we doing before that?" I asked.

He laughed, his broad lips stretching into a beautiful grin; one that lit me up inside. "Something we haven't done in a little while. But first, I think maybe you should brush your teeth," he said, laughing at me.

I glared at him and stalked away in a huff, his laughter trailing in my wake.

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I was curled up under Jake's arm, snuggled against his side as he drove my truck to La Push. The wind blowing through the window whipped my hair around and made me shiver. Jake tightened his arm around me and I laid my head on his chest.

Since we were both quiet, I examined the hole in my chest. Being with Jake always helped and his kisses were an added bonus. The throbbing ache was still there when I concentrated on it, but it wasn't crippling anymore. It scared me.

Was I healing?

I had not tried to do anything dangerous since the cliff dive, and I had not felt the need to. I wanted to hear Edward's voice again, but I was scared that it would drag me right back to how much it hurt and upset Jacob in the process.

Jake parked my truck by his father's house. He turned to me, sensing my deep thoughts. He cupped my face in his large russet hands. "No more worrying. The pack is out making sure the female bloodsucker stays away. Let's just let loose and have a little fun, okay?"

I nodded and gave him a quick kiss. He grinned and tugged me out of my truck and I saw the motorcycles waiting for us. "Oh Jake, I'm not sure I'm up for a concussion today."

With a deep husky laugh rumbling from his chest, he tugged me along. "I'll drive for today. I'm not sure I'm up for taking you to the ER again anyway."

I sighed and took the helmet from him. As I settled behind him, I clung tightly around his waist. I breathed his scent in deeply. It was a warm scent; earthy. He revved the engine and with a roar we were off. The trees flashed by in a dizzying whirl of green and brown and I tightened my arms. The weak sunlight barely warmed my skin, but I had my own personal heater in front of me. I could feel his stomach muscles shift and bunch against my hands as we leaned into turns. I laid my head on his wide back and watched the glimpses of the Pacific Ocean flash by in the breaks of the trees.

We switched; he let me drive while sitting behind me. He held onto the handlebars, as well, giving me instructions the whole time.

I was a little annoyed – and feeling like a child – yet I couldn't help but be slightly distracted by the length of his arms against mine while riding or the feel of his wide and muscled chest pressed against my back. After awhile, he took over and drove us to an area that seemed familiar.

I lifted my leg over the bike and lost my balance. I nearly toppled over, but Jake caught me.

"Careful, Bells. Make sure you get both feet on the ground before you try to walk." He gave me one of his cheeky grins as I glared at him.

"Come on. There's something I want to show you that I know you like." He twined his fingers with mine.

"What if I don't want to see it?" I said petulantly and wound up sounding like a cranky child.

He laughed indulgently, and I fumed in silence as he led me to a path and a sight I always loved. The tide pools near First Beach were teeming today with all kinds of life. My irritation melted away as I got a look at the bright colors of sea life swimming in the pools. Jake dropped down onto a log near the pool and gently tugged me down with him.

"You should sit, Bella. I don't want you to end up in the tide pool yourself." He chortled.

I sighed. "You're in rare form today, Jacob Black. If you don't stop harassing me, I'm not going to go anywhere with you again," but I was too happy with the sight to really have any bite to my words.

He pulled me against his side and pressed his lips to my hair. "I just want you safe," he murmured and the words were simple and heartfelt.

I leaned my head against his shoulder, watching an eel dart through the grasses in the pool. As we watched, I noticed a starfish gently moving in the sand; it hadn't made it to the tide pool. Before I could say anything, Jacob reached out and his large hands gently cupped around the starfish and deposited it into the tide pool. I watched it float down and attach to the side of a rock.

We were quiet for a time, just watching the activity in front of us, when Jacob suddenly spoke. "My mom loved the tide pools," he said, his husky voice softer than usual.

I didn't move, afraid to break the spell. Jake never spoke about his mother to me. I knew the basics from Charlie – her name was Annie, she had been a wonderful person, and she and Billy had been in a car accident that had taken her life when Jake was about ten. The accident was what had put Billy in the wheelchair. He twisted our entwined hands around and began to trace the veins in the back of my hand.

"She used to bring me here when I was a kid. We'd sit here for hours. She told me all she knew about the pools and the life inside them. She'd occasionally bring books with and make it a learning experience. It was something we always did together. It's why I don't come here very often."

His eyes were unfocused, lost in the past. I reached out and touched the tip of my finger to the corner of his mouth where it was turned down in sadness.

He caught my hand and kissed my fingers. "My mother would have loved you, Bella. You're like her in a number of ways."

I asked him simple questions about her. He told me that she was small and had a soft shape. Her hands were slim, but strong. Her black hair hung to her waist, and she usually tied it up with a turquoise ribbon. Her skin was smooth and unlined and her brown eyes – which were a lighter brown like mine – were wise and knowing. She smelled of vanilla and almonds. Her grin was like the sun to him; just like he was the sun to me.

His voice finally slowed. "I miss her."

It was a simple fact.

I felt the unshed tears burn in my eyes for the little boy who took on the care of his crippled father, while missing his mother. I knew he never regretted taking care of Billy, though, because he always spoke of him with the utmost love and respect in his voice. I turned and slipped my arms up and around his neck. He pulled me onto his lap, and I buried my face in his neck. We stayed like that for a while until he suddenly seemed to rouse himself from the depths of his memories.

"I'm sorry, Bells. This was supposed to be a fun day for you." He rubbed his hand down my back.

"I'm glad you told me about her. It sounds like she was a great mom. And it _has_ been fun, Jake." I snuggled against him, his chin coming to rest on the top of my head.

He stood, picking me up in the process. "Come on; let's head out to the beach before we have to go back for dinner." He grinned as I half-heartedly struggled.

"Jake, I _can_ walk," I grumbled.

"Yes, but you often trip over things. This is easier." His mood had shifted back to "Lets tease Bella" mode.

"You're so annoying," I muttered.

He laughed and deposited me on the beach. I gave him a poke and pretended to walk away in a huff. Then I gave a shriek and really tried to hurry away, as he growled and swooped after me. Before I could end up tripping over my feet – or nothing at all – he scooped me up and flung me over his shoulder.

"Jake!" I cried, unable to keep from laughing. "What are you doing?? Put me down!"

He just weaved all around the beach, like some kind of drunken derelict, as I swayed back and forth over his shoulder. Giggles kept escaping from my throat, the sound surprising me.

I grinned evilly. "Two can play at that game!" I yelled. I began poking his sides causing him to squirm, laugh, and weave even more.

He pulled me back over his shoulder, carrying me in front of him. He ran down to the ocean, wading in up to his knees.

"Jake! Don't you dare!" I cried.

"What's that, Bella?" He laughed a big belly laugh and leaned over.

"No!" I screeched, wrapping my arms around his neck in a death grip. "If I go down, you're going down with me," I threatened.

He plunked me on my feet, but splashed me. I gave a cry of shock at the coldness of the water. I wanted to be pissed at him, but instead, I smacked the water with the side of my hand, spraying him back. We ran around in the shallows, our laughter snatched away by the wind coming off the water. Finally, when my lips were turning blue, Jake picked me back up again and carried me back up the beach.

"Stay right here," he ordered. He darted off into the trees, leaving me wondering what he was up to as my whole body convulsed with cold.

He came back with a blanket, which he spread out on the sand. "Had it in the back of the motorcycle," he explained as I gave him a look.

He pulled me down onto the blanket with him, gently pushing me onto my back. He spread the length of himself next to me, cradling me in his arms. I immediately started to warm up from the heat of Jacob's skin.

"Oh, so _this_ is why you have a blanket," I commented dryly.

He laughed. "All my hopes were pinned to this blanket, you know. And now I have you – right here in my arms."

I snickered. "You're so transparent."

He pressed his lips to my forehead. "I missed the sound of that," he murmured.

"Hmm? What?"

"Your laughter. It's rare, which is a shame. I love to hear you laugh." He pressed a kiss to one cheek, then the other, and then he kissed my chin.

I sighed contentedly, winding my arms around his neck, as he hovered over me. I pulled him down and kissed him.

They were warm, lush kisses, his tongue curling around mine.

It quickly escalated out of control. The kisses became deeper. Drugging.

I whimpered against his mouth, my body arching up against his. He was propped up on one arm and the other stroked down my arm to my waist. His body felt so good pressed against mine. He pulled back a little, but I hastily sought out his mouth again.

Our breath came in pants.

His mouth was hot. Moist. His fingers pulled at the bottom of my shirt. I felt his hand slide underneath, stroking. My stomach quivered at his touch, and I moaned softly at the exquisite touch of his hand on my skin. I tangled my fingers in his hair, tugging. I could not get enough of him. I wanted more. He groaned, moving his hand higher. His thumb brushed the underside of my breast.

I gasped and shifted slightly and that was when I felt something hard pressed into my thigh. Realization crashed down on me. Jake was _hard_. He felt me stiffen and he pulled away. We lay there, panting. I kept my eyes focused on the dark clouds that were threatening rain.

"I'm…" I was at a loss for words. I had not encountered this issue with Edward.

"I'm sorry," I murmured, feeling uncomfortable.

"For what?" Jake turned to look at me. "For getting me, um, excited?" I was surprised to see _him_ blush a little.

I turned away from him, embarrassed. He turned me to face him. "Bells, look at me."

He laughed softly at my expression when I faced him. "It's a rather natural reaction, Bella. You, me, rolling around in the sand... well, that can do it." His eyes twinkled at me.

I glared at him. "I just didn't want to make you uncomfortable, Jake."

He realized what I meant. He laughed again and kissed me softly. "Bella, I'm sixteen. I'm kind of used to it."

I gave a small laugh. "And ever since the first time I saw you at the beach, it has always been because of you," he added, searching my expression. I buried my face in his chest, unsure of how to react to that. Part of me thrilled that I caused this reaction in Jacob – and apparently I didn't even have to be kissing or touching him. I was also feeling a bit warm at the idea of Jake…

I cut my thoughts off quickly. "We should head back, Jake. I don't really want anyone coming to find us."

We gathered up the blanket and went back to the bike. My clothes were still a bit damp, and my skin was clammy. He let me drive and wrapped his arms around me to keep me warm and mostly kept them away from helping me. I was rather proud of the fact that I didn't drive us headlong into a tree. Safely back at his garage, he grabbed my hand and we laughed our way back to the Black's house.

Billy was waiting in the doorway. I waved to him. "Hi Billy."

He gave me a grin. "Hi Bella. You two are just in time. Everyone is starting to arrive."

I was a little nervous to see the pack again after last night. After the incident, I had stayed near Emily and Kim or Jake. Things had started to change as they were now well aware, and I wasn't sure how they felt about Jacob and I. Were they happy for us? Worried that I would mess Jacob up even more than I had? Maybe they thought he _should_ be with this Maria. I peeked up under my lashes to see Paul, Sam, and Jared meandering over, chatting and laughing. Behind them, Embry – one of Jacob's closest friends – followed. Emily and Kim brought up the rear. I saw Leah pull in a moment later with her mother and her brother, Seth.

Jake squeezed my hand; he could sense my nerves going a little haywire. "Hey, guys," he called casually.

They called out hello and nodded at us. Embry gave me a small smile. I was glad that he was on our side. He was the one who seemed to sense things had been different before last night happened.

Charlie had arrived behind Sue and her children, chatted with them for a few moments, and came over to us. "Hey kids," he said.

"Hi Dad. How's Sue doing?"

He looked back over his shoulder as Sue set down a container on the table and went to sit on Billy's little patio. Her eyes were tired and worn. I could see the soft lines etched into the skin around them. It looked like she was trying hard to smile, but it seemed to exhaust her.

I looked over and saw Leah go over to her and touch her mother's hand. Leah's long black hair swung over her shoulder. Leah had been through so much it was hard to believe she was still standing. Jacob had told me about Sam imprinting on Emily, leaving Leah in the dust. It had been a serious relationship and he said that she was hurting something fierce. Now her father died. As she stood up, I noted that her chin was angled high, her full lips were firm, and her eyes told people to back off.

"She's doing the best she can. She has been worried about her kids – she said they seem different." Charlie's voice startled me out of my reverie.

I didn't really know Seth and Leah, but they seemed fine to me. Suddenly, I realized that Charlie was examining me. "Bells, why are your clothes damp?"

"Because Jake's a jerk," I muttered, remembering I looked a mess. Great. Nice impression.

Jake laughed, Charlie looked confused, and Billy wheeled himself over at that moment. He and Charlie started talking about fishing, so Jake and I took our cue and went inside.

"I think Rachel left some stuff here, I'll go grab you a pair of pants." Jake disappeared down the hall and came back with a pair of jeans.

"Hopefully you'll fit into these. I think she's just taller than you."

I was going to do a quick swap, but Jacob was still standing there just watching me.

"Need some help changing?" He gave me his sunny grin.

I just rolled my eyes. He turned and I changed my pants quickly, in case he decided to turn around. We went back out to grab some food. We had just filled our plates with some of the casseroles that the neighbors had brought over when Embry came over and sat next to us.

He speared a potato. "You know, Bella, I just wanted to let you know that I am happy for you and Jake. He was mopey and a pain-in-the-ass for too long. It's much more pleasant now."

He gave a bark of laughter as Jake kicked him hard in the thigh. I noticed Paul keeping his distance – I wasn't sure how he felt about us, but either way he made me nervous. Same with Jared, though I figured Kim probably said something to him.

I noted that Quil was not there. I felt bad about that; he had been ignored for too long by his friends. Was he just not invited here tonight? I didn't see Quil Sr., though, either.

"Where's Quil?" I asked Jake softly.

He sighed. There was a bone-deep sadness in his eyes "He and his grandfather decided to spend some time together off the rez. We figured this was a good time to get together; while he's gone."

Embry glanced down at his plate, his lips tightening. A voice spoke up behind me. "Quil will be going through the change any time now." I glanced around and saw Sam standing behind Jake's chair. They all wore the same pained expression. Jake didn't want this life, and he didn't want it for his friend. I reached over and squeezed his hand.

When the food was gone – the pack eating what was left – Jake and I decided we wanted to head back to Charlie's to spend a little time alone. Charlie just finished a phone call when we headed over to tell him we were heading back.

"Bells, I got a call from the station. There was a pretty bad car accident and since it's nearby, I'm going to head over there. I'll be a little while. You okay to head home?"

"Sure Dad. Jake was going to go back with me. We were just going to watch a movie."

We said our goodbyes and as we passed Sue, I reached out and touched her shoulder. "Take care, Sue," I murmured.

She gave me a genuine smile. "Thank you, Bella." Jake pressed his lips to her cheek and she affectionately patted his shoulder. We drove the truck back to Charlie's in silence.

I felt sad for Sue, but she seemed to be handling it. I was glad she had Billy, my dad, so many people helping her out. I knew I never would have been able to be functional after Edward left if it had not been for Jacob. He pulled me out of my slump, he irritated me, he made me laugh, and now he drugged me with his kisses. Every kiss we shared just kept getting better and better. I was beginning to crave them. My heartbeat sped up a bit at the thought.

"Bells? You okay?" He looked over at me, concerned. I glanced down, knowing he could hear my heartbeat speed up. I was not going to tell him what I was just thinking; his ego did _not_ need to be more inflated.

"I'm fine, Jake."

He parked the truck and we went in to look for a movie. There was a minor debate as we tried to agree on something. He flipped through the channels and we settled on a movie called "A History of Violence." Neither of us knew what it was about, but it sounded like it would keep us in check, so we settled in to watch. Jake sprawled on his side on the couch, resting against the back of the sofa. I snuggled back into him, and he draped an arm over my waist holding me tight. I laid my head on his arm.

I was half-watching the movie, but I was more aware of Jake's fingers dancing lightly over my stomach. The warmth of Jacob's arms was lulling me to sleep. I stirred when I felt his body stiffen. I glanced at the television and froze.

A love scene. A rather graphic love scene.

I shifted uncomfortably and felt another part of his anatomy stiffen. I tried not to make a sound. Jake's lips brushed against my neck. It was an endless love scene. I was blushing big time.

I shivered.

His hand moved under my shirt, our eyes glued to the TV. His fingers stroked along my ribs. Back and forth, back and forth. Abruptly, he pulled me back and moved over top of me so fast, I barely had time to react. His eyes were dark, full of lust.

A tingling sensation was zipping along my nerve endings as Jake lowered his lips to mine. I moaned softly and hooked my hands around his neck. Pulling him closer. The weight of his body was partially being held up by his arms, but I was effectively pinned to the sofa.

I kissed him as the love scene continued to play out. My breath was short and little noises were coming from my throat as his tongue delved inside my mouth. His breath was hot in my mouth and I gasped when he bit my lip, gently tugging on it.

He pulled away from my mouth, nibbling his way down my neck. My vision was fuzzy, my mouth was a little dry, and I hooked my leg over his. I raked my nails up his back as his mouth moved back to mine. I felt the heat pool in places I never expected. It was an incredible sensation. I whimpered against his mouth as his tongue traced the line of my lips.

His hand had begun to move further up my shirt. His fingers skimmed over the top of my cotton-covered breast. I whimpered again, arching my back wanting more, shoving my tongue deeper into his mouth.

I heard a choked gasp. "Bella? Jake?"

We jerked away from each other as fast as we could; I half fell off the sofa. I looked up. "Dad??" I managed to gasp.

Oh crap.


	5. Relapse

**Sorry for the bit of delay on this one… but I made up for it by not only doing a longer chapter, but I did a one-shot Charlie POV of catching Bella and Jake on the couch. It'll explain what happens leading up to, during, and after the incident. Bella only briefly thinks of it in this chapter. It's called "The Birds and the Bees."**

**Also, this chapter is mostly Bella POV, but I did do some Jake POV, too. I felt some things should be seen through his eyes. This is mostly Bella's story, but I might do Jake here and there. Enjoy… and reviews are lovely. =)**

*********************************************************************

I climbed immediately into bed after I got out of the shower. I had no desire to do anything else; I was mortified and just wanted to forget anything had happened. I lay in bed, tossing and turning, as the rain drummed on the roof. I was trying not to think about it, but it kept popping up; Charlie staring in shock, with a mixture of embarrassment and anger.

"Ughhh!" I groaned, burying my head in my pillows.

It was horrible – having to walk into the kitchen with Charlie there. I could barely look at him. And then Jake, of course, had to push things by kissing me goodbye. I wanted to melt into a little puddle when he did, but Charlie would have seen that.

And "the sex talk." Oh God. Listening to him talk about it was bad enough, but then I had to tell him I was a virgin. And then I couldn't help but think of Jacob kissing me on the sofa. It wasn't like any clothes had come off, but the fact that I didn't want it to stop scared me.

I finally dozed off amidst thoughts of Jake's fingers stroking over my breast.

When I woke in the morning, it was cloudy and drizzling. It was also Sunday – which meant Charlie would be there when I went downstairs. I wanted to go to La Push, but I didn't want to ask Charlie. The embarrassment was still too prominent. I brushed my teeth, pulled a comb through my hair and secured it in a ponytail. I pulled on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt and went downstairs to face the music.

Charlie was in the kitchen cleaning up his breakfast dishes. I sucked in a deep breath and grabbed a granola bar and tried to make my escape.

Charlie glanced up. "Bella?"

I stopped with my back to him. I cringed. "Yeah?"

"What are you doing today?" His voice was suspicious.

"I don't really know yet," I mumbled.

"Well, I'm going fishing. If you plan on seeing Jacob today, I don't want you to stay here with him."

I knew that was coming and my usual blush spread over my cheeks. "Sure, sure," I managed to murmur and practically flew back up the steps.

I figured I would attempt to get some homework done, since I hadn't actually done any this weekend because of spending all my time with Jacob. As I was gathering all my books together, I heard voices from downstairs. I poked my head out the door and over the railing and saw Jake standing in the doorway. I shamelessly eavesdropped.

Charlie was glaring at him. "I'm glad you're here, Jacob. I wanted to talk to you."

Jake was the picture of calm. "Yeah, Billy told me you did. Charlie, I'm…" but Charlie cut him off.

"Look, Jacob. I appreciate how much you helped Bella after Edward left. It was beyond difficult seeing her struggle so much; I had no idea what to do to help her. I have to say that while I care about you, just remember that if you break her in any way, Jacob Black, I will break _you_."

I froze. I could barely believe that was Charlie talking. I never heard him talk to anyone like that before. I heard him yell at Billy, stutter when he was furious, but this was different. His voice was calm; hard. His gaze didn't even waver from Jake's.

Jake just nodded. "I understand, Charlie. I love her, and I would rather hurt myself than her."

Charlie seemed to relax a little, though he now seemed a bit perturbed. I felt my heart give a little kick – something it really hadn't done in so long.

"As for last night, I already spoke with Bella. I'm sure she will fill you in on just what I think of that." He was starting to sound uncomfortable and annoyed.

"Well, I wanted to see if she could come down to La Push today. My dad will be there. You can call him if it will make you feel better."

I relaxed now and came downstairs trying to act like I had heard nothing. Charlie glanced up at me. "Bells, you can go to La Push, but remember what I said."

I nodded. "Okay dad, see you later." I was still holding my books, so I quickly stuffed them in my bag and hurried out the door.

Safely ensconced in the car, Jake laughed. "Poor Charlie. How did it go last night after I left?"

I glared at him. "It wasn't fun, Jacob. It was mortifying."

He laughed again. I huffed and turned to look out the window. I felt his fingers tangle with mine and he pressed a kiss to my knuckles.

"Sorry, Bells. I figured you'd need rescuing today, though, and Charlie needed to have his say."

When he pulled up to his house, he turned and gave me a grin. "I must say I had some amazing dreams last night. You starred in it and you were only wearing a…"

"Jake!"

Laughing, he pulled me out of the car. I snagged my backpack and he frowned. "You're going to do homework?"

It was my turn to laugh. I grinned at him, teasingly. "Why? What did you think we were going to do?"

"Oh, I could think of a few things…" he murmured, giving me a yank so I fell into his chest.

Billy was inside, so he kept the kiss short and sweet, but just feeling his tongue brush against my lips had me wanting more. I wasn't sure I could concentrate fully on my work with Jake right there, but I didn't really want to fail out of high school because Jake couldn't keep his hands to himself. Or his lips.

Billy was at the kitchen table, working on some of his carvings. He looked up and gave me a grin. "Hi Bella. Your dad called; said you were just planning on getting some homework done. That's a good idea; I know Jake could stand to do the same." He raised his eyebrows at his son.

"Sure, sure," Jake muttered.

He grabbed his work and we settled onto the floor in the living room. I dragged my biology homework out of my bag and dove in. We managed to work for a whole fifteen minutes before he snuck a kiss in. He kept that up the whole morning, both of us aware that Billy was just around the corner. I would lean over and start writing, only to feel Jake's lips against my ear. He would tilt my chin up, planting a quick, soft kiss on my lips. Or he'd slide a hand up the back of my shirt and then retreat, leaving me wanting more.

We were just in the middle of this amazingly warm kiss when we heard the creak of Billy's chair. I yanked myself away quickly and tried to remember what I was doing before he kissed me.

Billy poked his head in the living room. "Jake, Bella, I'm going over to Sue's to help her with something for a little bit. You can kiss in peace now without me lurking nearby, but please, restrain yourselves a bit, all right?"

His dark eyes were alight with humor. I stared intently at my homework, feeling a tad warm. And not just from Jake.

Jake snickered. "Okay, Dad."

As soon as he left, homework was a thing of the past. I was flat on my back as soon as the door closed, my notebook jabbing into my side, my arms wrapped around Jake. He hovered over me, his lips traveling from my lips, to my neck, to my collarbones. He proceeded to spend time kissing the length of them. I couldn't get close enough to him. I hooked both my legs over his, feeling the length of his body pressed to mine. My reactions were similar to the ones I had with Edward – a rather wild and frantic reaction – but we already reached a more advanced stage.

I trailed my fingers up his back, tangling in his hair, as his mouth came back to mine. He slid his bottom lip between mine and I kissed it rather anxiously. His tongue was moving in a complicated dance with mine.

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. We barely had time to separate before Embry and Jared came barreling in.

"Dammit, guys!" Jake growled, pulling me up quickly. Could we ever kiss in peace without being interrupted?

"Sorry man," Jared said, trying to hide his snicker. He wasn't very successful.

"Sam needs to meet with us, Jake. He said it's important," Embry said, giving me an apologetic look.

"Sure, sure," Jake sighed. "Great timing. Bells, I'm sorry. You going to be all right here for a little while?"

"Yeah, it's fine. Go ahead."

I ruefully picked up my pencil and went back to work. I finished it in record time. It was so quiet in the house, so I turned the television on. There was nothing interesting on, so I got up and wandered around the living room, my eyes tracing over the figurines placed here and here. There were carvings of flutes with the actual holes in. I figured somebody could actually play them. There was an intricate design woven over the smooth wood.

There were carvings of tiny drums that had real leather straps attached to them. Some were masks – almost creepy and mystical in appearance. I couldn't believe I never really looked at these before. It made me a little sad; this was part of Jacob's history. Billy was skilled at what he did. The one mask was animal-like. It resembled a wolf in some ways with the nose long like a snout, but a very human mouth. The eyes were open and blank. It gave me an eerie feeling.

I wandered down the hall, my fingers trailing over the walls. They came away with a bit of dust on them. I laughed softly – apparently neither of them was much for cleaning. Jacob's room certainly confirmed that as I pushed the door open. His room was miniscule. He had a tiny nightstand wedged in the small space between his bed and the wall. The closet door was cracked and I could see clothes spilling out. He had clothes folded messily here and there on his floor and books piled up on the nightstand. His bed was unmade. There was a thin film of dust on the windowsill.

I yawned and lied down on his bed. _Just for a minute_, I thought. I snuggled my head into his pillow, breathing in his mix of rain and forest scent. I pulled the covers up and curled up into a ball and was out within minutes.

_I was walking along First Beach, breathing in the scent of the briny ocean. The waves that licked at my feet were cold. The wind blew off the water, lifting my long, brown hair and blowing it around my face. I kept glancing over my shoulder, feeling as if someone were watching me._

_As I turned back around, I saw Jacob up ahead coming toward me. A smile bloomed over my face and I ran toward him. He gave his deep, husky laugh and caught me in his arms. _

_I still felt as if I were being watched. "Is everything okay, Bells?" Jake's brows furrowed in concern._

"_I'm not sure. I…" My voice died off as I caught sight of a woman with short black hair right at the edge of the forest. She was watching us, and I knew it was Leah, which relieved me. I lifted my hand to wave, but suddenly her face was covered by a wolf-human mask and she stood there, empty eyes staring at me. She snarled and ran toward us._

I woke suddenly, my heart thumping a little harder than usual. Jake was sitting on the bed, his hand on my shoulder. "I'm sorry, did I scare you?"

I shook my head, disoriented. "No, it's okay. I just had a bit of a scary dream. Nothing really to worry about," I added, waving it off as nothing. I sat up and was pulled into his arms. I sighed and laid my head on his chest, snuggling into him.

"I like seeing you in my bed," he whispered into my ear, and I shivered as his warm breath tickled the strands of hair. "Unfortunately, you're in my bed while my father is out in the kitchen, so I can't do much about it," he added, giving me a mischievous grin.

I chuckled. He tangled his hand in my already messy hair and kissed me. Slow. I felt the stirring in my stomach start as he dragged his lips over mine, inch by inch. A small moan slid from my throat as his hand traveled under my hair, cupping my neck, as his tongue slid along the seam of my lips. I parted them, but he pulled away. A moan of protest escaped my lips and he grinned.

"Come on, I just told him I was going to wake you up. We don't really want Billy barging in on us, too, do we?"

I rolled my eyes and he led me out. I realized just how much time I had wasted sleeping. I had to head back and get dinner ready for Charlie.

"Come on, I'll take you back," he said. I called goodbye to Billy and as soon as we were in the car, I snuggled as close to him as I could, running my hand over his chest.

"Jake? What's going on with the pack?" I asked, glancing up to see his jaw tighten.

"It's complicated," he muttered, his eyes a little angry. Sad.

I touched my finger to where he was grinding his teeth. His hands were shaking as well. I kept my gaze on him, stroking my fingers lightly over his face.

He sighed. Gave a frustrated grunt. "It's Quil. He's phased. And it's not just that, but Sam said Seth Clearwater is getting bigger. He thinks he'll be phasing, too. He's only fourteen!"

"You knew this was happening to Quil, but why Seth?" I wondered, a nervous spasm taking hold of my stomach.

"There's more of a threat than we thought," he said softly. "And we have no idea what it is. We know of that Victoria bloodsucker, but we haven't seen or smelled anything else in the area."

I shivered. What was going on? "I wonder if it's just drifters. Or is Victoria that much of a threat?" I mused.

"I don't know, Bells." He sounded defeated. "I promise we will always be watching the house, though. We'll protect you and Charlie."

I was scared. I knew Jacob and the pack were built for this, but the idea of them going up against Victoria was bad enough. Now there was another threat? I was scared for Jake, for them, for my dad. I felt Jake's fingers smooth the worry lines in my forehead.

"We're taking it a day at a time, Bella. I know it's hard, but so far we haven't detected anything else. We _will_ find out what's going on and destroy it." Again the sunny disposition slipped and I saw the anger and bitterness underneath.

We pulled up to the curb and parted ways with a quick kiss. Charlie was surreptiously looking out the window at us.

I trudged in made hamburger patties and macaroni and cheese. It was a pretty quiet dinner. Charlie asked me how my day was, but I was still a little uncomfortable around him, so I was giving him short answers. Plus, now I was worried on top of it.

I cleaned up the dishes as he went to watch baseball. Showered and changed, I just sat on my bed, looking out the window. School had never been something I disliked, but it drove me crazy when all I wanted to do was be near Jacob. With Edward it was okay, because he was in school with me. Jake was my sun, and I couldn't seem to soak enough of it into me. And now I was worrying more about him – I felt as if I needed to keep an eye on _him. _And then there was the intensity of the feelings between us, of the way Jake touched me, and it scared me as much as thrilled me. It felt like things were moving slowly, yet somehow much faster than before.

I sighed, rolling over in my bed. I couldn't believe I was still tired, considering my afternoon nap, but I fell into a dreamless sleep, grateful for once that the wolves were standing guard.

*********************************************************************

The week dragged by, and I didn't get to see Jake as much as I wanted. I knew that the pack was expanding and that he would be busy, but I was going crazy not knowing. I had to endure the looks and the questions from my friends' over Jake's display last Friday when he picked me up.

Jessica and Mike made it particularly difficult. Jessica was dying of curiosity about Jake and would get a little dig in here and there; though she made it clear she thought Jacob was attractive. And Mike was jealous. Every time I came to the lunch table, he would get this pouty look that annoyed me. Only Angela kept quiet about it, for which I was thankful.

All I did that week was come home from school, make dinner for Charlie, do my homework, and now I added cleaning the house to my list. I needed to fill up my time. A couple times Jake stopped by to spend a little time with me. Charlie had started enforcing some rules, so it wasn't that much time. But it was still the bright spot of my day.

He was tired, though, and I knew it was because of patrolling. We would mostly just sprawl on the couch or the floor and watch television with Charlie. Sometimes we would sit outside if it wasn't raining – which wasn't often. On Thursday, I drove to the grocery store after work to pick up a few things I would need for dinner on Friday. Billy and Jake were coming; Billy to watch the game with Charlie, Jake hopefully to spend a little more time than usual with me.

At lunch on Friday, Mike wore his usual expression. As I sat down, he gave me a sad frown. "Bella, are you working tomorrow?"

I sighed. "Don't I usually work Saturday mornings, Mike?"

He brightened. "Good."

Jessica turned to me, her eyes alight with curiosity. "Are you seeing Jacob this weekend?"

Angela gave me a sympathetic smile while Lauren gave me a fish-eyed scowl.

"Yes," I mumbled. I poked my spoon unenthusiastically into my yogurt.

"What do you two _do_ together?"

I was beginning to get annoyed. She seemed to be under the impression that because he was Quileute, we did things differently than everyone else. What I felt like telling her was that he turned into a werewolf and would attack her if she didn't stop asking me stupid questions.

"What anyone else does, Jessica," I said instead.

Before the line of questioning could go further, the bell rung and I gratefully gathered my stuff for biology and gym. I managed biology okay, but suffered through hockey in gym. It's always dangerous to hand me any kind of stick. I managed to smash my own shin and another girl's. That earned me a nasty look and I hurried out as fast as I could when the torture was over.

I hurried home, put the fish out to thaw, managed to do an outline for a paper I had due the middle of next week and finish my English homework. When I was caught up, I began dinner. I pulled out the vegetables and potatoes as the doorbell rang. My heart did a little flip-flop in my chest when I heard Jacob's husky voice talking to Billy and Charlie.

"Hi Billy," I said, giving him a smile as he passed through to the living room with Charlie.

He gave me a smile and a wink. I turned toward Jake and he had a full-fledged grin on his face. I laughed and wrapped my arms around his waist, burying my face in his chest.

"Feels like its been forever," Jake mumbled into my hair. He pressed a kiss on the top of my head.

He stroked my jaw with this thumb and pressed his lips to mine in a kiss filled with promise. With whispers of heat. I sighed and reluctantly turned away in case one of our fathers made a re-appearance.

I began washing the vegetables. As I scrubbed a potato, I felt Jake brush the hair off the side of my neck and place a soft kiss there. I dropped the potato and he chuckled. I gave him a reproachful look as I hurriedly washed the rest. My stomach quivered at the feel of his heat so close to me; the feel of his eyes burning into my back.

I had chopped the vegetables and was putting them in the pan when Jake twirled a strand of my hair around his finger, stroking it reverently. I spilled the vegetables on the counter.

"Jake," I protested softly, looking over my shoulder toward the living room. "We're going to get caught, and I'll never get dinner done if you keep distracting me."

He just grinned and leaned against the counter. I managed to finish the potatoes and vegetables and just started marinating the fish when his hands spanned my waist and I felt him press into me from behind. Mini explosions ignited and were going off in my stomach.

I leaned back into him, feeling more than I should be feeling with Billy and Charlie only a few feet away in the living room. I swallowed hard. Jake turned me around and abruptly picked me up and sat me on the counter.

The kiss was fast and hot.

My head spun as he plunged his tongue in my mouth; ran his hands down my arms, my thighs, as he pressed himself between my legs. I nearly melted off the counter; my legs and arms felt like jell-o.

"It's kind of quiet out there," Charlie growled from the living room. I pushed Jake back quickly and went to jump down. My legs were still shaky and I nearly fell, but Jake caught me, a grin lurking on his lips.

"Should be done soon, Dad," I said, clearing my throat. I had managed to get marinade on my hands, so I quickly washed them and got everything in the oven.

I glared at Jake and made him set the table. When he was done, I stroked my fingers up his chest, under his shirt, forgetting that I was supposed to be annoyed with him. He stroked the bare skin of my waist, dipping his fingers below my jeans. I bit my lip, my eyes drifting closed, at the exquisite feel of his fingers on my bare skin.

He kissed my neck, lightly sucking at it. I gasped. Then he was abruptly pushing me away, moving to check on the food. Confused, I turned and heard the squeak of Billy's chair before he appeared. Dinner was done, so I hid my flaming face behind my hair as I got everything ready.

We sat down to eat, idly listening to Billy chat about the gossip on the reservation. That's when I decided to give Jake a little pay-back. I slipped my shoe off and made sure I had the right leg before I slid my toe up his calf to his knee.

He coughed, his eyes widening. It was my turn to grin.

"You all right, son?" Billy asked, smacking Jake on the back.

I tried not to laugh as I moved my toes up to his thighs, wiggling them between his legs. He gave a half-groan, half-cough. I pressed my lips together tightly.

"I'm fine," Jake waved Billy away. "Just choking on Bella's _delicious_ potatoes." He glowered playfully at me.

When dinner was done, everyone chipped in to clean up and Billy and Charlie escaped to the living room. "Stay down here, Bells!" I heard Charlie call back.

We were basically stuck in the kitchen, but made the most of it. We pretended to be working on something, but every chance Jake got, he paid me back for playing footsie. His hand glided to my inner thigh as he kissed me fervently. I was feeling feverish when it came time for them to leave. We were all standing at the door saying goodbye when Jacob took my face his hands – in front of our fathers – and kissed me gently. I blushed to the roots of my hair as Billy cleared his throat and Charlie looked everywhere except at us. I went to bed early, a blissful smile on my face.

I tried to distract myself with things to do at work the next morning, trying to make the day go faster. Mike was a little sullen over my dating someone, but at least he was still talking to me. He told me about his most recent date with Jessica and I half tuned in to him.

When my shift was over, I headed home to start writing the paper I had due before it was time to see Jake. I finished it in a couple of hours and decided to email my mother. I turned my computer on and knocked a couple pencils over with my elbow.

Sighing, I leaned down to pick them up and noted one of my floorboards didn't look quite right. _Hmmm_. I ran my finger over the seam and realized I could fit my finger in there. Gentle tugging pulled the floorboard loose.

There was something in there. I reached down and pulled it out and as I realized what it was, the pain crashed down on me from out of nowhere. I gasped and panted for breath, clutching the items to my chest.

The healing hole in my chest gave a horrible ache and I crumpled onto the floor as all the hurt, the pain, the agony ripped through me once again.

**JPOV:**

I rolled myself back under the car in my garage and tried to think about engines instead of Bella. I frowned at the underside of the car as I continued to work, letting my mind wander. I had dreamed of this for what felt like so long – and I could hardly believe my luck. She had kissed me. Not the other way around.

And now we were dating.

I hadn't referred to her as my girlfriend to anyone, though, not knowing how she'd react to that. I could still see little flashes of pain in her eyes, but it was beginning to dissipate.

Damn bloodsucker. He'd really screwed her over.

My fingers tightened involuntarily on the wrench I was holding and I had to take a deep breath. He wasn't here and I hoped it stayed that way. He had done enough damage. She never said why she was into riding motorcycles suddenly, or why she decided to jump off that stupid cliff without me, but I knew there was more to it than just fun. Bella was easy to read. There was always a little fear, but when it was over, there was elation in her eyes.

I couldn't quite figure it out, but I also wasn't sure I wanted to know. I was just glad that after I pulled her out of the ocean she calmed the dangerous stuff down a bit. I was glad she turned to kissing me instead. My stomach tightened as I thought of our make-out sessions. She tasted unbelievably good.

Her mouth was heaven.

My mind flipped through the images of us rolling around in the sand, on the sofa, and last night's dinner at Charlie's. I groaned. If I kept this up, I was going to have an issue, I thought, glancing down at myself.

I tried to keep myself under control somewhat when we kissed and touched each other. Difficult was one way to describe it. I wanted her to feel what she did to me, but I also didn't want her to think I was a horny pervert. I hoped if I thought about her enough when I was in human form, the pack wouldn't be privy to _all_ my thoughts when I phased.

I rolled out from under the Marks's car and wiped my hands on a rag. I told Billy I was looking to earn a little more money - hopefully take Bella somewhere _other_ than La Push for once. He had mentioned it to Charlie and was told that the Marks's had taken their car somewhere for the major work after the accident and said they would love to have someone work on the smaller problems – someone a little more affordable. It was a good way to earn some money if I could get a few more people interested in letting me work on their cars, and it was something I enjoyed.

I took a swig of my soda and smiled at my handiwork. I had managed to get the dent out of the front fender and had done some clean-up work and buffed it for them. I also changed their oil. It looked pretty damn good.

I checked the time. Damn, it was mid-afternoon already and realized I had to meet Sam and the rest of the pack. Paul had spotted that red-haired leech again lurking around the area. I clenched my teeth, my stomach roiling in fear and anger at the thought of her getting to Bella.

_Nothing will hurt her_, I vowed.

I hurried out to the line of trees, gave a quick glance around, and dropped my shirt and shorts behind a tree and took off running through the forest. A slow grin spread over my face as I leaped over fallen branches, racing as fast as I could, before I jumped onto a log and phased in mid-air.

The muscles bunched, my tongue lolled out, and I let out a howl of enjoyment at the freedom of racing through the forest quiet as can be. It was the main thing I enjoyed about this werewolf thing. Suddenly, voices were in my head.

_Hey man! I bet I'll beat you there! _Quil's taunting spurred me on as I caught sight of him on my right. My paws thudded on the ground as I skidded to a halt in the clearing, a few noses ahead of him.

_You can't beat me, punk. You're too slow!_ I snickered at him.

_Whatever, Jake. At least I don't daydream all day about kissing my girl_. He snickered back.

Unfortunately, my mind immediately flashed back to last night's counter-top kiss with Bella. The way her little tongue curled around mine…

_Ugh, would you stop with that??_ Embry chimed in. His ears were flat and his nose was wrinkling.

I couldn't seem to stop myself. I tried, but the image of us wrapped around each other on the couch and her dad walking in flashed through my mind. The whole pack was hysterical over that, snorts and grunts echoing off the trees.

_Oh man, her DAD caught you slobbering all over her? That's awesome!_ Paul's head was down and his whole body was shaking with laughter.

_What happened to your super sense of hearing, Jake? Out the door when the hormones kicked in?_ Jared barked a laugh.

I groaned. _Shut up,_ I muttered irritably at them.

_Oh man. You went for the boob-grab? Too bad her Dad interrupted THAT!_ Quil snickered.

_All right, all right, that's enough_, Sam interjected. _I just wanted to make sure we have the schedule of patrolling down for the week. Paul saw Victoria again last night. He took off after her, but she headed out into the water again. _

_Man, I wish we could just catch this bitch already, _Jared thought sourly.

We went over the specifics and planned to help Seth when he began to phase. It was getting closer and our thoughts grew heavy as we all pondered over why he was changing – and what the danger was. Was this Victoria really that bad? Was there something else out there? We all did a quick patrol then at Sam's request.

Sam sent us off when we met back up in the clearing and I phased back. I pulled my shorts on and headed into the house. I was beat; I just wanted to crash on the couch or in bed and sleep a couple hours before seeing Bella. I just walked into the house when the phone rang.

"Jake, can you get that?" Billy called from the living room.

I grabbed the phone. "Hello?"

"Jake? Jake?" Charlie sounded frantic. My heart started to pick up in speed, fear pinning my feet to the floor.

"Charlie? What's wrong?" I barked.

"Jake, can you come now? It's Bella."

Those words froze me for a second. Oh God, no. Please no.

"She's fine… physically. Something happened, though." That didn't lessen my panic. Or the panic in his voice.

"I'm coming," I said and took off out the door.

I wanted to phase and run, but I couldn't. I threw myself into the Rabbit and slammed my foot on the pedal and peeled out of the driveway. My mind raced along with the car as I blew down the highway. What happened? Oh God, Bella. I prayed that she was okay. My fingers clenched and unclenched the wheel.

Was it Victoria? Did she get close? Was it something else?

My panic pushed me faster and I could barely breathe. My pulse was racing.

I reached Bella's house in record time and flew up the steps. Charlie had the door open. He reached out to me.

"Jake, she's in her room sobbing. I went up when she didn't hear me call for her. The door was locked and I could hear her crying. It was like… last time…" His face was white.

"She wouldn't answer me. Please." He begged, his eyes pleading with me to make it better.

I didn't even respond. I just ran up the steps. I put my hand on her door and my heart shattered at the sound of her soft, gut-wrenching sobs. "Bella?" I called my voice hoarse with unshed tears.

"Jake. Don't… don't come in," she stammered, her voice hoarse from crying.

How could I not? Hearing her sob like that was killing me.

"Bella? I'm coming in anyway." I jerked the knob harder feeling the lock break. It didn't matter. I shoved the door open.

Bella lay on her side on the floor, arms wrapped around her legs that she had brought up to her chest. Her face was red and sweaty and endless tears slid down her cheeks. My chest hurt. I knelt down and crawled over to her. Without hesitation, I slid my arms under her soft, fragile body and gently pulled her onto my lap. She curled into me, hiding her face.

I stroked her thick, dark hair, smoothing back the damp strands clinging to her face. I held her tightly against me, rocking her, and saw lying on the floor just what made her so upset.

Pictures of _him. _A CD.

My blood was boiling. He was still hurting her. I felt useless as I cradled her. I managed to snake my arm out and grab hold of the items, carefully sliding them into my pocket. She didn't even notice. Her tears just continued to soak my neck and my shirt.

Seconds. Minutes. An hour went by.

Charlie had come up and saw us on the floor. He didn't say a word; just turned around and left. Bella had finally slowed down her tears – I heard soft sniffles and an occasional whimper.

I stood then, bringing her with me, holding her carefully. "Jake?" she questioned. Her voice was bruised.

"We're going to La Push. You need a change of scenery right now."

She just laid her head on my shoulder. "I can walk, Jake," she murmured. "I've already upset Charlie enough."

I ignored her. Downstairs, Charlie hurried over, his brow furrowed. "I'm taking her to La Push. Change of scenery."

He just nodded. Bella reached out as we walked by and touched her father's cheek in apology. He swallowed hard, but nodded. I put her in the Rabbit and drove us back to my dad's. We said nothing. When I parked, I carried her inside. Billy nodded at me and silently wheeled himself down the hall to his room.

On the sofa, I just continued to hold her. She finally looked up at me. Her beautiful brown eyes were red and teary. "I'm sorry, Jake," she whispered. A few tears slid down her pale face.

I sighed. "Don't, Bells. I'm fine." I was lying a bit, and she knew it.

Her chin shook. "I'm still sorry. So sorry." She leaned over and kissed me… a bit frantically. I gently pushed her away.

Her tears had stopped again. Her breathing changed as she pressed her lips back to mine. I tried to hold her away, but the pleading in her eyes was cracking my determination. Just one kiss if it would make her feel better. I knew she was sorry for _why_ she was crying.

Her warm little tongue pressed at the seam of my lips and I hummed at the feel. I kissed her back with all the love that I felt for her. Her hands slid into my hair and she turned so she was straddling me. The kiss went deeper as our tongues met and she gently tugged on my lower lip with her teeth. I groaned softly. I caressed her back slowly, letting the kiss build up steam.

Her mouth was warm and salty, and I shifted uncomfortably as her hips wiggled against mine, pushing the juncture of her thighs against me in all the wrong places. Right places. I was turned on and confused. I tried to back off by pulling away from her lips and kissing her neck.

Her small, delicate hands gripped my hair as she tilted her head back to give me better access. I stroked my fingers over each bump in her spine as I kissed my way across her throat. She released my hair and reached down for the bottom of her shirt. Before I realized what she was doing, she had unbuttoned her shirt and pulled it off. In the seconds that I saw her, my mouth went dry. Her perfect, small breasts were covered by a simple white bra. No frills.

It was so Bella. I loved it.

I could see the darker color of her nipples through it, and I grew impossibly harder. I hissed and then her mouth was on mine again, kissing my lower lip. Sliding her tongue into my mouth. When she pressed her nearly bare chest against mine, I nearly came undone and that was what snapped me back to reality. I couldn't do this. Not now.

I took hold of her arms and gently pushed her away. "Bella, no," I whispered. "We can't do this. Not now."

"I want to, Jacob. Please." Her voice was shaking.

"Sweetheart, we have plenty of time. As much as I want you - and that's a hell of a lot – you're only doing this to forget. I want you to want me… just for me. Not to cover up past hurts. Not to mention my father is here." It killed me to say this. Those perfect breasts were too close and heaving now as she tried to catch her breath.

I tore my eyes away. Her eyes were watery again and her chin was shaking. "You're right." Now she was blushing. Big time. The thought of Billy in the next room seemed to snap her out of it.

I wrapped her in her shirt so I would stop being tempted to throw caution to the wind and taste those perfect handfuls. I sighed and rested my forehead against hers. "I'm sorry, Jake. I can't apologize enough. I do want you, but you're right, it shouldn't be like this."

I kissed her softly. "Don't apologize. You were upset. And I'm sorry you are… that _bastard_…" The anger settled low and I breathed deeply. I didn't want to go further and hurt her more.

"Come on, lets go outside," I said abruptly.

"It's raining," she protested. She buttoned her shirt up.

"Just a little. Come on." I got up and tugged her with me. "You need to cool off anyway." I gave her a small grin and was happy she responded to my teasing with a glare. _That's my girl._

*******************************************************************

**BPOV:**

I couldn't believe I just tried to convince Jake to have sex with me. I wanted him, but to throw myself like that at him? After what had happened and what he did for me? I sighed, my face still a bit red. I was a little ashamed of myself. But secretly pleased the sight of me with no shirt caused him to lose the power of speech.

I let Jake tug me out the door and he handed me my raincoat. I pulled it on and let him lead me to the lounge chair in the backyard. It was just beginning to get dark. The rain was a light mist and it did feel good on my overheated skin. I was sweating; from crying so long and hard and then being snuggled into Jake for so long. The rain was soft and I smiled as it beaded in my lashes.

I snuggled into Jake on the lounge chair. We just sat there for a little while, watching the dark clouds scuttle across the sky, purple and black like a bruise. I heard in the distance a rumble of thunder.

"You know there's an old Quileute legend about thunder," Jake said idly.

I glanced at him in surprise. I never heard him talk about his history before.

"T'ist'ilal is the Quileute word for Thunderbird." I liked the word and the way he pronounced it. "Thunderbird is said to be able to carry a whale in its claws – it's that large. And because of the sheer size of it; the beating of its wings is what makes thunder."

I mulled that over. I liked the idea of that and grinned. "I like that," I said. "You've never told me anything like that before."

"Maybe I'll tell you another sometime," he said with a chuckle. He stood up then and tilted his face to the sky. I immediately shivered and huddled into myself.

"Come on, Bells. Let's dance," Jake said, holding his arms out to me.

"What? I'm not much of a dancer, Jake."

"Pfft. There's no one here to see. Now come here."

I sighed. "There's no music."

He laughed softly; his eyes alight with something unrecognizable. "There's music all around us, Bella!"

I wondered about his sanity for a moment.

"Don't you hear the music?" He whispered. He pulled me up and circled his arms around me. "Listen. There's music in the rain as it hits the window panes, the leaves."

He continued. "There's music in the wind as it rushes through the trees. There's music in the waves as they crash on the beach. There's music in the wind chimes on my dad's porch. There's music in the storm coming. And there's music from my ancestors as they play the flute for us."

His voice trailed off. I laid my head on his chest and heard everything he described. The wind whistled, the chimes gave a soft tinkling sound, I heard the distant crash of waves and the rumble of thunder all surrounded in the soft sound of rain.

And if I listened hard enough, and I did, I heard a flute softly being played.


	6. Date Night Danger

I found I couldn't stop staring down at the floorboard that was back in place and fixed. It saddened me not to be able to lift it anymore, knowing that Edward had at one time, and had put those birthday memories in it. I didn't know what had happened to the pictures and the CD; it hurt at times to think about never seeing them again, but I think I knew where they were.

Jake would have them.

I also knew that while a big part of me thought he might just destroy the items, the other part knew that Jake wouldn't do that. I knew it had hurt him to see me like that, but he was aware of the feelings that lingered for Edward.

I was upset that I couldn't seem to push that part from me for Jake's sake. He never complained, but mainly because we didn't talk about it. I hated hurting him like that especially as my feelings for him got stronger every day. Edward would always have a part of me, though, which made it difficult to differentiate between the feelings I had for both of them.

I ate a quick bowl of cereal and headed over to Newton's Outfitters for work. There were more customers than usual since spring was just beginning in Forks. It wasn't my type of spring, but everyone seemed to be getting the fever as camping gear flew off the shelves. I kept busy and was able to keep Mike at bay. I felt bad about it, because he seemed a little forlorn. He was having issues with Jessica and he kept saying how he and I should go out – just as friends, of course.

It made me uncomfortable, though. The way he looked at me…

It was right at the end of my shift when I heard the bell above the door chime as someone came in. I sighed reluctantly; I was ready to head out to meet Jake at my house, but I turned to see if the customer needed help.

My eyes widened and a full-fledged grin turned the corner of my lips up. Jake was strolling towards me with his sunshine smile on his face.

"Jake!" I exclaimed. It was a couple minutes before my shift was over, but I pulled my vest off and hurried over to him. He swooped me up into a hug, giving me one of his bone-crushing squeezes.

"Jake…" I gasped. He laughed and set me down. Then right there, in front of anyone who might have been in sight, he leaned down and pressed his lips to mine. I gave him a quick kiss back, but pulled away before it could go too far. His lips could incite a riot.

I turned to go get my stuff and caught the emotions flickering over Mike's expressive face. I felt bad as I saw jealousy, anger, and sadness warring in his eyes. Anger seemed to win as he glared at Jacob.

"Jacob," he said stiffly. "Bella going to help you with your homework?" Condescension seemed to be the name of the game.

I turned to give him an annoyed look, but Jake just smiled calmly. I grabbed my stuff, waved at Mrs. Newton and walked back over to Jake in time to hear his response.

"Nah. She's going to help me with a few other things." He wrapped his arms around me from behind, his thumbs sliding down into the top of my jeans. He nuzzled my neck. His comment could be construed as innocent enough, but the smug smile made it sound… dirty. Plus, with his thumbs where they were… I blushed and tugged away after a moment. It was hard to do.

I felt bad for Mike – I had no desire to hurt his feelings, and I truly liked him. He was a good guy; a good friend. His face was red and frustrated as I gave him an apologetic look. I tugged Jake out of the store.

"Jacob," I snapped. "Don't antagonize him. It's not fair."

"Sorry Bells," he murmured, as his lips trailed from my neck to my ear. I shivered.

I discovered I loved the feel of Jake's lips on my ear. I reluctantly pushed him away. "What are you doing here anyway?"

"Just thought I'd surprise you," he said with a smile. "I ran here," he added with a chuckle. I rolled my eyes.

I drove us back to my house where the Rabbit was parked at the curb. I pulled my truck into the driveway. I knew if we went in the house we would most likely start making out, and as much as I loved doing that, I thought it was safer to avoid any soft surfaces in a spot where Charlie could see us. Or hard surfaces even – I didn't think Jake would particularly care where it was. I knew Charlie would be home soon, too, and the thought of him finding us again was a mortifying thought. Once was terrible enough.

I decided washing my truck was safe. Jake went to unwind the hose from the side of the house as I got soap, a sponge, and a bucket. We had a good method going. I would rinse, he would soap, and then we'd switch.

Then everything got out of control. I was leaning over the hood of the truck, scrubbing hard at one particularly annoying dirty spot when Jake squirted the area to rinse it off and soaked the front of me.

"Jake!" I cried, as the shock of the cold water had me stumbling back. "You're supposed to wait until I _move!_"

He started laughing and couldn't stop. I glared at him and lifted the sponge in a threatening gesture. His husky laugh continued as he turned to move away from me. I was never very good at throwing, but somehow I managed to launch the sponge and watched it splat on the front of his shirt.

I tried to give him a stern look, but failed miserably and started laughing, too. He came after me with the hose. I gave a small squeal of trepidation and holding onto the truck, tried to run around it to get away from him.

He was too fast.

He squirted me with the hose again, thoroughly soaking my upper half. That husky laugh grew in strength at the expression on my face. I was torn between irritation and amusement.

"Why Bella, I think you could win a wet t-shirt contest," he teased, his eyes darkening a bit at the sight of my rapidly hardening nipples. I cringed and blushed.

"Jerk," I muttered, still laughing, reaching down and splashing soapy water at him. He laughed and tried to dodge, but I managed to get him wetter. He started chasing me around the truck and caught me as I stumbled my way around.

"No!" I cried, giggling uncontrollably as he held me in his slippery grip.

I didn't realize Charlie had come home until I heard his voice. "What on earth are you two doing?"

I turned and so did Jake. I wasn't expecting what happened next. He still had the hose on and turned it full-force toward Charlie. Whether he realized it or not, he ended up spraying Charlie with it.

My mouth gaped. _Holy crap. _

Charlie froze. A good portion of his left side was dripping in water. His eyes narrowed. He took off his gun belt and laid it on the hood of his car. I was suddenly nervous about what was going through his mind. His jaw was twitching, his eyes still narrowed.

Suddenly, Charlie dove for the hose. Jake was caught off guard, thinking Charlie was angry, so he lost the grip on the hose.

Before I knew it, I couldn't stop the waves of laughter watching my father of all people acting like a kid and spraying Jake with the hose. Soon, we were all laughing as they battled it out over the hose.

Charlie's sense of playfulness took me completely by surprise. As quickly as it came, it dissipated and he gave us a look. "That's enough fooling around. You two better get inside and get a shower before dinner."

"And Jake you better stay downstairs while Bella showers." He gave him a look. Of course, he just had to tack that on and I sighed, embarrassment a regular part of my day. Charlie disappeared inside.

Jake started laughing. "Well, that caught me off guard."

"I don't think I've ever seen him act like that," I added. Jake's eyes had focused on my chest again and I grinned a little.

I slid my arms around his waist and pressed against him. He gave a small groan as he leaned down and captured my lips in a hot, open-mouthed kiss. I caught his tongue between my lips and he sighed, his hands stroking my ribs, his thumbs just brushing the edges of my breasts.

I pulled away reluctantly. "We better get inside before Charlie comes back to beat you with the hose." He snickered at the idea.

I went upstairs to take a shower. I gave a contented sigh as the warm water hit my cold, clammy back. As I washed my hair, I couldn't help smiling at the thought of Jake and Charlie laughing and squirting each other with the hose. Every now and then, Charlie would get one of those full-fledged grins that would make him look years younger, but I never expected him to be a little goofy. Granted, he got gruff afterward, but the glimpse of that side of him made me smile.

I got out of the shower and wrapped a towel around myself. When I opened the door, I nearly ran into Jake. "Jake!" I hissed, casting my eyes nervously to the stairs.

"Shhh," he whispered, a gleam lightening his dark eyes. He backed me up toward the wall by moving closer to me, and I was nearly breathless at the look in his eyes.

"Mmmm," he sighed, his lips against my ear. Goosebumps rose on my skin.

His lips were so close to my skin, but not quite touching me. My eyes were glued to his as he leaned down and pressed his lips to the hollow of my throat, gently licking the droplet of water that trickled down my throat to rest there.

"Bells, you are so beautiful when you're wet," he groaned softly. My insides alternately froze and melted – almost all at once – as I gasped at the implication behind his words. He smiled slowly and backed away.

"Jake?" I heard Charlie call. His voice was suspicious.

"Up here," he called back casually. "Heard Bella go in her room, so I'm going to clean up real quick."

He winked at me and disappeared into the bathroom. I changed quickly and I finished just as Jake came out of the bathroom, a towel wrapped around his waist. The air left my lungs. I was trying to breathe as I blatantly stared at how low the towel rested on his narrow hips. My attention was caught by the droplets of water trickling down the V-shape that led to…..

I snapped back to attention as Jake snickered. "Bella, I need to put my pants on. Unless you'd like to help…"

I spun around quickly and hurried out of my room as he laughed softly. Part of me _did_ want to help, so I needed to get out of there. Charlie would get suspicious again soon. Downstairs I re-heated the lasagna from a couple nights ago and the three of us ate in companionable silence.

He had to leave to patrol again and I glumly attacked my math homework. The end of my senior year was getting closer and I couldn't wait to graduate. The whole summer to spend with Jake was ideal.

I idly wondered what I would do in the fall. Charlie had asked here and there if I was applying to any universities. I wanted to go to college, but I had been pondering working for a year before starting. Money was a necessity and I figured a year off wouldn't hurt. I could apply for some jobs in Port Angeles and then I wouldn't be too far from home. Dreams of an apartment in Port Angeles where Jake and I could stay together alone plagued me as I continued to work.

The week went by pretty quickly for once. School work kept me busy and I was trying to stay ahead of things. Mike wasn't too happy with me for the first few days. He was blowing things out of proportion, but I did feel sorry about what happened on Saturday, so I tried to cut him a little slack.

Jess and Lauren were trying to get everyone together for another beach trip – to blow off some steam after all the work that was piled on us. I was reluctantly invited. I rolled my eyes at the half-hearted invitation. Nearly said no, but ended up telling them I would think about it.

Later in the week I was at Billy's lounging on the couch with Jacob. He was playing with my hair as I leaned against him. He slipped his hand under my hair and was stroking his fingers over my neck. I hummed quietly, loving the feel of his strong fingers moving over the sensitive skin there.

"Bells?"

"Mmmm?" I mumbled, letting my head fall further forward as he continued to stroke my neck.

"Let's go out Friday night." It was more of a statement than a question, but he sounded uncertain and a little nervous, and I turned my head slightly to gaze up at him.

"Okay. We're always together anyway, so I'm not sure…" I started to say, but he cut me off.

"No, I mean out. On an official date. I want to take you to Port Angeles." I was surprised to see that his cheeks were a tad redder than normal. I smiled at his nervousness – it was about time _he _was a little embarrassed and not me!

"That sounds like fun, Jake. What are we doing?" I couldn't help but smile when his eyes lit up. I had no idea he would be nervous about something like this. It was rather sweet.

"Just the usual, I guess. I figured we would want to keep it simple for the first time." He began stroking his fingers over my jaw, my cheek, through my hair.

I sighed contentedly, leaning back into him. "Sounds good," I said softly.

************************************************************************

Friday night came quickly and I was standing in the middle of my bedroom wrapped in a towel, trying to find something to wear that would work for a date. Jake was used to seeing me in jeans and t-shirts, but I wanted to surprise him with something different.

I reached in the closet and unearthed a violet sweater.

I wrinkled my nose and tossed it back in.

I found a black skirt I didn't know I had. I slipped it on; it fell to just below my knees. Modest enough that it would do. I wasn't used to showing my legs, but one night wouldn't hurt.

I rifled through my closet, searching for something and discovered a deep maroon blouse. I put that on as well. I started blow-drying my hair till it hung loose in a waterfall of waves. I put a few necessities in my old black purse and was just finishing up when I heard the door bell rang.

I froze. I could hear low murmurs of voices as Charlie answered the door. I walked to the steps and heard Charlie muttering.

"Doing things a little ass-backwards aren't you, kid?" He had his tough-guy voice in full effect. I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah, I suppose I am. I had to work on some extra cars, though, to earn the money first. I wanted this to be a perfect date for her. And I wanted to thank you again for referring the Marks's to me. That really helped me out."

The silence was deafening. I felt a tugging on my heartstrings as I realized why I hadn't seen Jacob some days. I knew he was dealing with some pack stuff, but apparently there had been other things that I wasn't aware of. I knew he and Billy didn't have a lot, but for what they lacked in finances, they certainly made up for in integrity. Jake's admission apparently caught Charlie off guard, too.

Charlie cleared his throat, his tone softening. "That's admirable of you, Jake. I'm sure Bella will appreciate that. And anytime you want some extra work, let me know and I'll keep an eye out for you."

I headed downstairs, still feeling that gentle tug. My eyes widened a little when I caught sight of Jake. His massive form filled out the doorway, clad in jeans instead of shorts. They looked relatively new and looked really good on him. He was wearing a forest green – and I realized how appropriate that color was for him – shirt that had a row of buttons from the neck partway down his chest. The first few were opened. His shaggy hair looked a bit smoother, too.

He glanced up at me and a grin lightened his face. "You look beautiful, Bells," he said, as he surreptitiously eyed me in a very thorough way when Charlie turned to face me.

I tried to will my blush back. I think I actually succeeded for once. I gave Charlie a quick smile. "See you later, Dad."

"No later than 11:00, Bella," he said, his voice turning stern again. He gave Jake a look, no doubt thinking of what I now thought of as "the couch episode." I tried not to roll my eyes and nodded instead.

We took the truck, so I could snuggle against him. "So, what are we doing tonight?"

"There are a couple movies to choose from. And I figured we would get something to eat somewhere nearby." He smiled a little, probably remembering our last movie and how _that_ turned out.

We debated over the movies, and I decided that we should go with the theme and see "Zombelina," the newest horror movie. We spent some time laughing over the stupid title, but I knew neither of us really wanted to see the new romantic comedy.

We were a little early for the movie, so Jake asked me what I wanted to do beforehand. I grinned as I noticed a small bookstore nearby. It wasn't the one I was in that night that I ran into those men…

I shivered at the thought. Jake led me in and I lost myself in the smell of the books and the weight of them in my hands.

I trailed my hands over the new bindings of the books and smiled contentedly.

I browsed for awhile and found a Jane Austen book I didn't have called "Emma." I enjoyed her other books, so I decided I would give it a try. Losing track of time in a bookstore was normal for me, so I was surprised when I felt Jake's arms slip around my waist, his lips touching my temple.

"Bells, the movie starts soon."

I nodded and reluctantly moved away from the shelves. It was so quiet in here. At the cash register, Jake pulled money out before I realized it and paid for my book.

"Jake," I protested. "You don't have to do that. I can get it."

"Too late," he said with a chuckle. The cashier smiled as she bagged my book.

We walked over to the theater as I gave him an elbow in the side for paying for something that wasn't necessary. He just smiled and pulled me closer. We went into the darkened theater and he led me up the steps past the other people sitting down.

The movie started and we laughed and made fun of the screaming women on the screen. I was oddly into the movie, but my focus changed when Jake scooped me up and pulled me onto his lap.

"Jake," I whispered. "What are you doing??"

"This," he murmured, his lips trailing a line of fire from my ear, to my jaw, and moving down to my neck where his lips brushed over the pulse point. I sighed and tilted my head to give him better access. His arm was around my waist and his fingers slipped under my shirt to stroke my stomach.

My breath hitched in my throat as his other hand cupped my cheek and turned my face toward his. His lips whispered over mine. I leaned closer and deepened the kiss. I felt him smile against my lips.

He kissed me so slowly; I thought I was going to go crazy.

I darted my tongue out and tasted him. He groaned softly.

Our tongues met in the next kiss and I reveled in the feel of it moving against mine. I turned to face him a little more fully, and he cupped my face in his large, heated hands, fingers tangled in my hair as the kiss got harder and increasingly more intense. I was gasping as he thrust his tongue in hungrily, pulled it out, and repeated the process.

I pulled his face closer, biting at his lips. He pulled back and gently nipped at my jaw, moving down to my neck, sucking on the skin there. Heat was pooling low in my body, building in intensity. My hips pulsed against his, and I gave a moan loud enough for Jake to clap his hand over my mouth and try to stifle his laughter. He was still rocking against me, though.

I was feeling feverish as he kissed me again; a little more chastely.

It didn't take long for the movie to end because I was so distracted by the occasional strokes and caresses Jake gave me – on my thighs, my cheek, and he dared to move his hand over my backside causing me to jump slightly in his lap.

When the lights came on, we hurriedly exited the theater and earned a few pointed glares and some chuckles along the way. I flushed, horrified, realizing that people had either heard or saw us. Or rather heard me.

S_o much for sitting in the back by ourselves; it didn't make a difference._

I yanked on Jake's hand trying to get him to move faster, but it was like trying to move a mountain. I got nowhere. He was laughing too hard.

I glared at him and he started walking again, chuckles still escaping.

"Ugh, what is wrong with me? Why did you do that to me in public?" I muttered in a cranky voice. His grin was infectious, though, and a giggle bubbled up in my throat and burst out. I tried to glare at him again, but I couldn't help laughing.

"Did you see that other couple? The girl looked pissed her guy didn't try that with her; I heard her tell him so."

We were both still laughing when he stopped in front of a small Italian café. He led me inside and we were seated in a corner booth. I remembered the money situation and was a little concerned. I didn't want him to have to pay for all of it, but I didn't want to offend him either.

I decided to pick something simple from the menu, so I just ordered spaghetti. Jake ordered the same. We kept the subjects we talked about pretty light. We were in some sort of silent agreement that we wouldn't discuss werewolves or vampires or anything evil. So, we talked about the pack and how Emily wanted to have a breakfast at her place on Sunday, to which I was invited.

I told him about Mike giving me the silent treatment – giving Jake a glare when he laughed – and how some of my friends were planning another trip to First Beach.

We ate our dinner, and I ended up with spaghetti sauce on my lips from a particularly messy mouthful to which Jake cast a quick eye around to make sure no one was looking before he leaned over and kissed me in the pretense of licking it off.

We then proceeded to argue over the check, but his reflexes were better, so he ended up paying for it which he intended.

He drove us to Elwha R Overlook to see the Strait of Juan de Fuca. It was a pretty spot, and we could hear the water sloshing gently below us.

"Why, Jacob Black, why on earth did you bring me here?" I gave Jake a smirk.

"To seduce you," he said. He was grinning, but I could see the simple love and lust in his eyes. I leaned toward him, but he pulled me onto his lap, so I was straddling his legs and we were face-to-face.

I took charge this time. I rested my hands on his chest, sliding them up to his neck. I leaned over and nipped his earlobe, kissing my way across his jaw to his mouth. He was breathing a little heavier and our lips fused together as soon as they touched.

I pressed myself tightly against him.

Tongues stroking, fingers exploring.

I dragged my fingers through the silky hair at the nape of his neck. His mouth was so hot against mine; I flicked my tongue against his upper lip.

His lips became more urgent, his fingers restless.

He moved his hands up the back of my shirt, stroking. As we kissed, I felt Jake's hands move to my front. His hands glided up toward my breasts.

I gasped when his fingers brushed against them. His fingers spanned around my breast, not quite fully touching them.

I felt him harden beneath me. I rocked my hips against him and he groaned. He grasped my breasts in his hands then and gave me a light squeeze. The feelings rushing through me were heady; I couldn't get enough. I arched my back, pushing myself against his large hands.

His one hand dropped to my back, moving again toward my backside. He was gently pulsing me against him, and I whimpered into his mouth. His other hand continued to stroke my breast.

He continued kissing me, our tongues winding around each other. Then I felt his hands on the buttons of my shirt.

It caught me off-guard and I froze. He paused.

"Is this okay?" he asked, still gasping.

I wanted him to.

I nodded and he only unbuttoned me partially, just enough to expose my chest. I wasn't sure what he wanted exactly, but he leaned forward and pressed his lips to my neck. Soft kisses trailed down to the top of my chest.

His hair tickled my bare skin.

He gently kissed the tops of my breasts, his tongue flicking out to taste me. I moaned, heat racing through my veins. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pressing closer as he continued his kisses. He nuzzled his nose into the little cleavage I had; I started to rock faster against his hips.

Realization was creeping in, though, and I knew we had to stop or we would be in the backseat of the car. I wasn't ready for all of that yet. It was getting late as well.

"Jake," I whispered, my breath coming in pants. "We have to stop."

He pulled back a little and I shivered at the lust in his eyes. He sighed and laid his head back. "God, Bella, you smell so good. Taste so good."

I squeezed my eyes shut, thrilled at his words, and tried to control my breathing. I laid my head on his shoulder and we just held each other, listening to the waves below us and the rain that was starting to pick up again.

Reluctantly, I pulled away and buttoned my shirt. Jake reluctantly started my truck. He glanced over at me and then he started to laugh.

I frowned. "What?"

"Bells, your shirt is buttoned crookedly. And you, um… have a hickey on your neck." His eyes twinkled at me.

I re-buttoned my shirt and quickly glanced in the side view mirror and groaned. He started laughing.

Jake pulled me closer and tucked against his side. I was starting to feel sleepy. We just hit the outskirts of Port Angeles when a scream penetrated the night air. I jerked upright and Jake slammed on the brakes. He pulled the truck off to the side and yanked the door open.

"Jake, no!" I cried.

"Bells, I'm not going far, and I'll be right back. Just _stay here_, okay?"

I cowered back against the seats as he disappeared around the corner. Every little noise sounded threatening. I bit my lip anxiously, my eyes trained on where Jacob disappeared. I saw an ambulance arrive.

I cracked the window and snippets of conversation reached me.

"I just found her here. There was no scream; nothing." A man's voice was shaking as he explained to somebody.

"I can't believe it. There are so many people around and this happened under our noses?"

"It happened so fast. I was right here a few minutes before she was found."

"Broken bones. Lacerations. She's barely breathing."

I was frozen in horror. That could only mean one thing. Vampire.

The streetlights flickered causing me to become _more _freaked out. Jake suddenly opened the door. My shriek was cut off as Jake wrapped my quickly in his arms. "Sorry, honey, I didn't mean to scare you," he whispered, pressing his lips to the side of my head.

"Let's get out of here."

"Was it a vampire?" I whispered.

His jaw tightened. "Yes. I don't think it bit her, but it did a number on her. The ambulance was fast, so hopefully they can save her. I did a quick sweep of the perimeter and smelled the damn bloodsucker, but it was gone."

"Was it Victoria?"

"No, I don't think so. There's something brewing, though, and the sooner we figure it out the better." He pulled me close, and I breathed in his scent. His warmth kept the chill from burrowing inside.

We reached Charlie's without saying another word. He walked me up to the door and tilted my chin up. "I'm sorry for that poor woman. I'm sorry that's how this night had to end."

I smiled a little. "So am I. I hope she's okay. And don't apologize; I had a really good time tonight before... well, you know. Thanks."

"Sure, sure," he murmured, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. He leaned down and pressed his lips to mine. We kissed slowly. Gently.

I went inside and saw Charlie on the couch. "Have a good time?" he asked, raising his eyebrows at me. I self-consciously moved my hair forward to cover the newly acquired hickey.

"Yeah, I did, Dad. I'm tired, though. Goodnight."

Upstairs, I got ready for bed and crawled under my comforter. I felt nervous, jumpy. I rolled over in bed, watching the minutes tick by.

An hour had gone by, and I was slipping in and out of consciousness. Shadows on the walls kept startling me. Every little noise made me twitch.

I heard a soft tapping sound on my window. I sat up so abruptly, I nearly fell out of bed. I hurried to the window, stubbing my toe on my nightstand. "Ow," I gasped.

I peeked outside and heard Jake whisper, "Bella!"

I carefully opened the window. He was perched in the tree again like that night so many months ago. "Jake? What are you doing?" I was still half-asleep.

He motioned for me to move and landed with a small thump in my room. "I'm staying with you tonight," he whispered, wrapping his arms around me.

I pushed at him, but he didn't budge. "Jake, you can't! What if Charlie finds out?"

"I'll hear him coming if he decides to check up on you. I just don't want you to be alone tonight." He gently brushed my hair back, pressing a kiss to my temple.

My eyes closed slowly. What was the harm? I felt safer with Jake here. We weren't going to do anything except sleep. But what about Billy and the pack?

"Billy? The pack?" I murmured, sliding down to sit on the bed.

"Billy knows I'm out. I don't usually get back until early in the morning. So as long as I'm out of here by then, it'll be fine. The pack knows I'm here; Jared and Sam are keeping an eye on the house right now."

I had no more protests. I just wanted to sleep and having Jake with me was a bonus I hadn't expected. He gently pushed me down onto the bed and stretched out next to me. It was a tight fit and to give him more room, I slid my leg over his, draped my arm over his torso and rested my head on his chest. He was so _warm._

His lips brushed against my forehead.

"Goodnight Bells," was the last thing I heard as sleep overtook me.

*********************************************************************

**A/N: Thank you again for reviews. They all make me happy and give me ideas into what you like for future reference.**


	7. Changes

I got up early Sunday morning to shower. I was meeting Jake at his house to go to Sam and Emily's for breakfast. I hadn't seen the pack in a little while and I felt bad about that, so I was looking forward to seeing them. And hoping they wouldn't tease us too much.

I had been so wrapped up in Jacob and the newness of our relationship that I was forgetting about other people. It wasn't entirely unusual – I knew I did that when I was with Edward. It was hard to separate myself from someone I felt so strongly about, which is why I was craving for Jacob to sleep in my bed with me again. He hadn't come to my room last night, but stayed with me all of Friday night.

I smiled, remembering how it had felt. It wasn't something new for me to sleep in bed with a boy, but it was nice to wake up entirely wrapped up in another person who kept me warm through the night. He had felt so good…

I had woken to something tickling my face. I struggled to open my eyes and when I did, Jacob was right there, kissing my forehead, my cheeks, my nose, my eyelids. Our legs were completely tangled together and he was pressed flush against my body. I was feeling a bit sweaty from the full-on contact of his over-heated body.

"Mmmm," I sighed. I had lazily tangled my fingers in his hair as he continued to slowly kiss me awake.

His mouth touched mine at last and it was so deep, so warm, I felt as I could lay there forever kissing him. I complained, too, when he pulled away.

He gave a lazy chuckle and kissed my ear. "I have to go, Bella. Charlie will be up soon and Billy will be expecting me home."

"I don't want you to go," I whispered. I knew he had to, but we could spare a few more minutes at least. That was how I had felt about it anyway. Apparently, he had felt the same because his lips had begun moving down my neck.

Up to just behind my ear. Across my jaw.

His lips were against mine again, his tongue dipping inside. I had kissed him back, lightly sucking on his tongue.

He groaned and shifted. I felt just how hard he was as it pressed against my upper thigh. Reluctantly, I pulled away. We were always pulling away when it got to that point, and I was beginning to feel bad. I had no experience with this, but I couldn't imagine Jake would be comfortable after that.

I had bit my lip, not quite meeting his eyes. "I'm sorry, Jacob. We're always stopping when…" I couldn't finish my sentence, but he understood.

He laughed - a bit painfully - and kissed me again. "I just do what I have to, Bells; which will be next on my agenda once I head out of here." He blushed, his beautiful russet skin glowing. My skin heated, too, at the idea.

He had left after yet another kiss, quietly sneaking down the stairs. He was just as silent as the first time he had been in my room. I had dozed off, breathing in Jacob's smell that lingered on my pillow.

I ended up having to rush to finish getting ready because of my daydreaming. I made sure that the make-up my mother had made sure to pack for me covered up the hickey on my neck. I was never much interested in make-up, but I was glad for it today. I gave one last check in the mirror. It was as good as it was going to get. Charlie had already gone fishing for the day, so I hurried out the door and drove to La Push.

Jake practically yanked me out of the truck and crushed me in one of his hugs when I parked in front of his house.

"I missed you last night," he whispered. Goosebumps dotted my skin when his lips grazed my ear.

"I missed you, too. You can stay over any time you want," I murmured.

He grinned. "Good. I loved waking up next to you."

His lips met mine, and he dragged his tongue over my bottom lip. I didn't feel like going to Emily and Sam's anymore, but he laughed and pulled away before it could go any further. Our reactions to each other were a little too combustible.

Everyone was already there, and I escaped into the kitchen with Emily and Kim. Emily was mixing a huge bowl of eggs and Kim was putting pancake after pancake onto the griddle. My eyes widened as I took in the monstrous spread of food. There were the eggs and pancakes, but there was also bacon, sausage, waffles, fruit, and a spread of bagels, muffins, and croissants.

I shook my head in disbelief and asked what I could do. I finished up the bacon and got all the plates and silverware out.

Emily was grinning as she stirred the eggs on the stove. "Things seem to be going really good for you and Jacob," she said

Kim chuckled, but resumed flipping pancakes.

I smiled, keeping my eyes on the fruit I was cutting. "Yes, they… are."

"I'm sorry about how your date ended – of course Sam told me what happened – but I heard Jacob didn't want to leave you alone that night."

I smiled faintly. This whole sharing with the girl's thing was something I wasn't used to. "He didn't. He stayed with me."

"Oh Bella," Emily was laughing now, "Jake gave you a hickey?" Her eyes were examining my neck, and I quickly yanked my hair forward.

"So…I take it things are progressing?" Kim asked as she and Emily both started laughing now.

I blushed, thankful the food was ready. "Yes, you could say that."

The boys came into the kitchen and spread out. Emily had already prepared a plate for the three of us, so the boys could pig out on the rest. I was leaning on the counter when Jake reached over and snagged my plate off of it and put it on the table.

"Hey…" I started to protest, but he reached over and snagged _me_ next.

He tugged me down onto his lap. I struggled briefly, half-heartedly, not wanting everyone's eyes on us. I gave up when Jake's arm locked around my waist. I gradually leaned back into his chest as everyone inhaled the food.

Jacob's fingers wiggled under my t-shirt and he stroked the skin right above my hip. I tried not to choke on my eggs. It felt good and no one seemed to be paying attention, so I sighed and let it continue.

When everyone finished eating, Emily started gathering the dishes, but Sam tugged her down onto his lap. "We'll clean up, Em. Just relax." He kissed the scarred side of her mouth.

Jake brushed his lips against the side of my neck and the heat from them had me relaxing further into him. Until Sam spoke.

"I wanted you all here to tell you that Seth phased. Thankfully, he wasn't anywhere near Leah and Sue when he did. It just happened last night, which is why none of you knew about it until now. I wanted the girls to hear it, too, because the pack is strengthening in numbers and that means the threat has increased."

I felt myself freeze against Jacob. His arms tightened around me, and I was vibrating along with them. I carefully stroked his arms. "Calm down, Jake," I whispered, even thought I felt like screaming. The trembling in his arms slowed.

This was getting to be too much. I was terrified.

"Bella, don't worry. No one has gone near your house. We're keeping up the patrols and watching over Charlie. I just want everyone to be aware of what's happening and to be careful." Sam's brow was furrowed and he pressed his lips to Emily's shoulder.

"We'll destroy the bloodsuckers," Quil said confidently.

"Hell, I'm looking forward to it," Paul added, a smirk on his face.

"More than anything," Jake added, the underlying steel in his voice emphasized.

I hated the fact that they were so willing to fight. I couldn't bear the thought of any of them getting hurt, especially Jacob. He would be the most willing, too. The pull of the werewolf to a vampire was like the inevitability of the tide coming in. With my life on the line, which was terrifying beyond any doubt, the pull would be stronger for Jacob; which terrified me _more_.

I didn't want to lose someone else I loved.

I turned and was met with the smooth, russet skin of his cheek. Not caring for once who was watching, I leaned in and brushed my lips against his cheek and whispered in his ear. "I want you safe."

He turned to me, his big hand sliding up my arm to cup my face. He leaned in and touched his lips to mine. "And I want you safe. This is what we're made for Bella. Don't worry, I have no plans to be taken away from you," he whispered, his lips warming mine considerably.

I leaned my head on his shoulder and saw that we were being secretly observed. I was a little surprised by some of the reactions. Emily and Kim were smiling; Quil and Embry were smirking but seemed happy. Jared looked slightly bored, while Paul looked slightly annoyed and Sam seemed worried. I wasn't sure why they were looking at us like that, but it really wasn't any of their business.

After the clean-up, everyone started to leave. I was left with Jacob, and he was talking to Sam about something. I frowned, trying to hear what they were saying. _Damn human hearing._

"They're just talking about Seth," Emily said over my shoulder.

I turned to her. "Why isn't he here, if he's now a werewolf, too?

"Sam just didn't want to rush him into it. He's letting him get used to it a little and then the pack will help him out. He'll be involved shortly."

I bit my lip, eyeing the Jake and Sam worriedly. "Seth is just so young," I murmured.

"He is. There's nothing that can be done, though. He's a good kid; he'll be all right."

I took the mug of tea she offered me with a smile. "How can you be so sure? You seem so confident that things will be okay. It really doesn't look that way to me."

She guided me over to the sofa. "I have to remain confident, Bella. For Sam's sake. For _my _sake. And they turn into werewolves because that's the only thing that can destroy a vampire. It's instinctual."

Her finger unconsciously stroked over the scars marring her beautiful face. Emily truly was one of a kind. Sam was lucky to have her. Her capacity for love and understanding went far beyond that of any normal human girl falling in love with a werewolf and becoming involved with his pack. She was also a strong individual.

I sighed softly. I believed in Jacob – I knew he was strong and capable, but my fear was too crippling. My strength was in love, too, but my confidence wasn't good. I always knew that. I wished I was strong, like Emily; and not just in spirit, but physically.

We fell silent and by then Jacob was ready to head home. He had some work to do in the garage and while I wanted to spend time with him, I knew he needed to work, so I reluctantly kissed him goodbye and headed back to Forks.

I puttered around the rest of the day, getting caught up on my homework and cleaning the kitchen and the bathroom. Before I knew it, Charlie was calling me telling me not to worry about dinner that he would pick up a pizza.

As Charlie and I ate our pizza, I noticed he kept shooting me little looks. I was pretending I didn't notice them.

"Bells, everything okay?"

I sighed a little. "Yeah, Dad. Why?"

"I don't know. You seem a little out of it. I thought you'd be with Jake, too."

Just when I thought he was clueless, he decided to become a little more perceptive.

"He had some work to do. And I'm okay." I certainly wasn't going to tell him that Jake was upset by Seth Clearwater turning into a werewolf.

He nodded, resumed eating his pizza. "You haven't seen much of your other friends. You should hang out with them now and again. You did that before with…" he trailed off, realizing he was about to remind me of something that had turned me catatonic for a few months.

I didn't tell him that I really felt like spending most of my time with Jacob. I was sure he already knew that, but to appease him I nodded.

"Yeah, I know." I didn't really feel the need to offer anything else.

He dropped it, realizing I had no inclination to talk about it. I felt his hand brush my hair as he walked by me to the living room. I smiled a little – Charlie was so rarely affectionate and just that was a big step for him. It was getting late, so I went upstairs to send my mom another email and to go to bed.

Jake was a little distracted and distant over the next week. Frustration clawed at me, but I didn't want to bother him because I knew it was pack stuff. I was bothered by the fact that he was pulling away from me, though. That wasn't like him.

He did come to my room at night – not every night, which was what I wanted, but he came often enough. I ended up telling him where the spare key was. He had to stop leaping through my window like Superman saving a damsel in distress. I knew he was strong and coordinated, but I couldn't get the image of him smacking into my window and plunging to the ground out of my head.

He was sneaky enough to get by Charlie's snoring and he knew which steps to avoid.

Those nights were the best – he would hold me and I would feel safe. I couldn't deny the craving of having him in my bed with me, but I still wished I wasn't so weak. The conversation with Emily kept circling around in my mind. Every night Jake was with me, we never went further than kissing. His arms would circle me when our lips finally slowed; pulling me against him so I could rest my head on his chest and fall asleep.

He would always wake me with kisses all over my face. They lacked a little bit of the passion he had when he woke me for the first time.

I was beginning to get frustrated.

It was Saturday, work was over, and I had been letting this fester over the past week and a half. Jacob said he was working in the morning and that he would be meeting up with the pack afterward. I figured he wouldn't mind if I dropped by and waited for him to be done. So, I left Charlie a note and went to La Push.

Jacob's car was the only one there. I knocked on the door.

Billy swung it open. "Bella!" He seemed a little nervous, which I found odd.

"Hi Billy. Is Jacob here?"

"He's not at the moment," Billy said, his face now a calm mask again.

"Is he still with the pack?"

"Well, no," he said, surprised I seemed to know about that. "I think they just finished, because Sam left about ten minutes ago. He's probably still down at the beach. I suppose you could wait for him here…" he added on as an afterthought.

"That's okay. I'll head down to the beach to find him."

I started to head back toward my truck, but Billy caught my sleeve. "Bella, I think it's probably best if you wait here."

What the _hell_ was going on?

"It's fine, Billy. I'm sure Jake won't mind." Billy let go of my sleeve and I got back in my truck. I didn't know what to make of Billy's reaction and hoped Jacob could explain to me what was going on and why he was being so distant.

I parked in the little sandy lot and followed the path through the trees to First Beach. It was quiet in the forest, just the sounds of the birds in the trees and the rustling of creatures in the brush. The rain was just starting up again. It was a light rain, but I pulled my hood up and trudged a little further until I heard the sounds of the waves crashing on the beach.

The beach was deserted except for a lone figure sitting on a driftwood log. It was Jacob. Nervously, I pulled on my jacket. What was Jake doing sitting on the beach in the rain by himself?

I went to call out to him, but his super hearing had his head turning in my direction. Before I realized what was happening, he was in front of me and he was angry.

"What are you doing, Bella?!" he ordered, his voice louder than normal. His eyes were narrowed, his brow scrunched up. His broad lips were set in a firm line.

Taken aback, I stared at him in surprise. Why on earth was he angry at me? I felt the traitorous shake of my chin at his annoyance with me. I told myself to stop being such a wimp and firmed my own lips.

"I just came… to see you," I managed to say firmly, trying to keep my voice from wobbling.

"Damn it, Bells! You shouldn't walk through the woods alone!" His eyes relaxed a little, though he still was fairly annoyed.

"I knew you were near… I just wanted to see you," I said. I reached out for him, and he abruptly looked sad.

He pulled me against him, up into his arms and walked back over to the log. He cradled me on his lap and I wrapped my arms around his neck. He leaned down and kissed along the line of my jaw, then settled on my lips.

"I'm sorry, honey," he whispered. He looked so tired. His eyelids drooped and he had circles under his eyes. I kissed along his cheekbones as I stroked his hair. It felt so good to be with him like this, and it hadn't even been that long. It felt like forever, though.

"Jake, what's going on? What's wrong?"

"I hadn't been able to tell you, Bells. Up until now, Sam gave a command to stay quiet. And we needed to work things out anyway. Kim and Emily know now, though, so I suppose its okay."

I continued to stroke his hair as he leaned his against my shoulder and yawned. "You know that Seth phased. Well, nearly immediately after, we were taken completely by surprise because Leah phased."

I jerked back in surprise. "What? Leah? I thought this was only male descendants."

"We thought so, too. We never did figure things out completely, so I can't even explain why. It's been really shitty, though. Leah was furious… still is, actually." He reached under my hood and was stroking my neck now. It felt so good I let the swearing slip by.

"Wow. So, since Seth is a descendant, it just works the same for Leah?"

"As far as we can figure. It's been incredibly difficult since it happened. She was flipping out to put it nicely. There's the problem of her being in the pack with Sam – and him being Alpha seems to make it worse. There's been so much tension."

I felt sorry for Leah. I couldn't imagine what she was going through. Wait a minute…

"Why is it difficult for Leah to be near Sam?" I asked, confused.

He looked a little perturbed. "I've never told you about imprinting."

I gazed at him blankly. Then a niggling thought came to me. "Emily mentioned it in passing at the bonfire – that Jared had imprinted on Kim. It just didn't register with me that I had no idea what that was, so I never asked."

"Imprinting is something that happens to werewolves. It's fate's way of finding us a soul mate." He was biting his lip, his fingers restless on my neck.

What? I wasn't sure what that meant and I knew I was going to like this. I leaned back to meet his eyes.

"Imprinting is supposedly when you see someone for the first time and all that exists for you is to make them happy. It's supposed to be such a perfect love; true, strong, unbreakable. It's in our legends, but it's rare. I guess you could call it love at first sight. The person a werewolf imprints on does have a choice, I guess, but they always end up together because essentially it's what is best for both people involved."

I swallowed hard. "Have you imprinted?" The fear twisted in my stomach, and I swallowed hard. I couldn't handle this. We barely got started and I could lose Jacob already? I couldn't handle another loss of this magnitude. I wouldn't survive.

"No. And I won't." He was firm, his eyebrows mashed together.

"How do you know?" I whispered.

"Because I'll never leave you, no matter what," he murmured. He pulled me tighter against him.

I closed my eyes, trying to feel reassured by that, but coming up short. If it couldn't be controlled….

"Has anyone in the pack imprinted besides Jared?" I asked worriedly.

"Sam," he said with a sigh. "Sam and Leah dated, did you know that? They were both so in love. He couldn't tell her when he started phasing. He had to figure things out on his own until the tribal elders found out what was happening and explained it to him. Sam loved her so much…"

His voice had trailed off.

With a shake of his head, he continued. "But Emily came down to visit Leah. Sam imprinted on her immediately; his girlfriend's cousin. It's said this isn't something that can be controlled."

I was horrified. "What?! He just left Leah like that? For her cousin? And Emily let it happen?"

He gazed out at the ocean, stroking my hair absently. "No choice, Bella. Emily was upset at first, but she couldn't deny the pull either. It broke Leah."

I had no more words. How could I continue on with my life after being broken so badly by Edward and then by the possibility of Jacob imprinting on someone? I was barely alive until Jake came into my life. If I lost my sun, it would surely be forever night for me.

I didn't want to discuss imprinting anymore. Maybe it would never happen with Jake. I tried to ignore the niggling thought of why Jacob hadn't imprinted on _me._ I wasn't sure I wanted that, but was something wrong with me? I couldn't handle these thoughts right now and was glad when Jake continued.

"Needless to say, Leah hasn't been handling this right, and I can't blame her. She's making it so much harder, though. Plus, the whole phasing and getting dressed thing. It's not exactly easy dealing with Leah when we all catch glimpses of each other naked. Not to mention reading each other's minds." Jake rolled his eyes.

I stopped playing with his hair. "Leah's seen you naked? You've seen her naked?"

He kissed me. "Not on purpose, Bells. It's kind of hard to avoid." He gave a small, sad laugh.

I frowned, not liking that idea at all. I tried to push it from my mind, though, because that wasn't the most important thing after all.

"Then there's the whole she's the only girl thing. She has no one to talk to and we've had to hear her being worried about something being genetically wrong with her. In regards to… that time of the month."

In typical guy fashion, he winced at the thought. I gave him a look and he shrugged. "What can I say? We know nothing about that, and it makes things uncomfortable."

It started to rain harder and Jake sighed. "Come on, let's go back."

Back at Billy's house, we both lay on the couch, heads at opposite ends so Billy wouldn't have room to complain. As we lay there, listening to the drumming of the rain on the roof of his tiny house, he told me that Colin and Brady were showing signs, but nothing was definite yet.

He sounded really upset. It frightened both of us, too, because of the threat that was still unknown. Jake was exhausted, so he fell asleep quickly. I worried for awhile longer about all these changes, and the idea of imprinting which scared me. I tried to push it from my mind, though. I was in this with Jacob… too deeply now, and I had to deal with it. Finally, sleep overtook me.

I woke feeling damp with sweat. Jake had rolled over and had my lower half pinned to the couch. His mouth was open slightly and he was snoring. I yawned and blinked sleepily at the clock.

_Oh shoot._ It was five o'clock, and Charlie would be home. As I struggled to untangle myself from Jacob, Billy rolled into the room. I froze, but he just smiled.

"I called Charlie, Bella."

I smiled gratefully. "Thanks Billy."

Jake stirred then and stretched. I ended up squashed even more against the back of the couch.

"Jake!" I protested, giving his leg a thump. "It's late. I need to get home."

He groaned. When he sat up and looked at me, the worry and sadness were still in his eyes. I sighed and leaned into him. He kissed the top of my head. "I'll be all right, Bella."

"So will you." He gave me a pointed look.

An idea brewing in my mind, I turned to Jake and grabbed his hand. "Jake! Do you think you could, well, sort of prepare me physically?"

He gave me an annoyed look. "I said you will be fine, Bella. I'm not letting anything happen to you."

He walked me out to my truck, but I wasn't done. "Jake, doesn't it make sense for me to have better physical strength? I mean, I know I'm no match for a vampire, but it couldn't hurt, right?"

He leaned against my truck and scrutinized me. "I guess if it would stop you from falling over yourself, then yeah."

I glared at him and he laughed, his eyes twinkling. Even though he was annoying, I was glad to see that sparkle in his eyes.

His eyes brightened even more and his grin spread. "Actually, I have a few more ideas that might work. I'll call you tomorrow and we'll figure it out. Right now I need to talk to Sam."

Before I could ask questions, he kissed me quickly and practically tossed me in the truck. I glared at him yet again, but he just chuckled. "Tomorrow," he murmured, pressing his lips to mine in a slightly more satisfying kiss before racing off.

I rolled my eyes. "Weird hormonal werewolf," I muttered.

************************************************************************

Jake couldn't meet me until later in the week for our "practice session." So, after school was over that day, I prepared a chicken casserole and wrote down the instructions on how to turn the oven on, how long to bake it. And for good measure I wrote down how to turn the oven _off_. Charlie was a little notorious for being clueless about the kitchen.

With that taken care of, I headed for the reservation with trepidation. It was my idea, but I didn't know what to expect. I parked noting that it was dark inside the house, save for a small light in the living room. It didn't seem Jake was around and I frowned nervously.

I walked up to the door to knock, but I heard a rustle in the nearby forest. Nervous, I jerked around, but it was just Jake stepping out dressed in cut-off sweatpants. "Hey, Bells. We're in the woods, come on."

He reached out for my hand and wove his fingers with mine. I held on gratefully. _Wait a minute. We?_

He smiled at my confusion. "Some of the pack is lurking in the woods. We're going to need the extra help." I had no idea what that entailed and I wasn't sure I liked the idea of including everyone else.

Jake led me to a small clearing not far from his house. "We also need to keep an eye out for danger. I can't help you while trying to make sure nothing is nearby."

I faltered, but Jake wrapped an arm around my waist and gave me a hug.

He eased me into it, guiding me through some simple strengthening exercises. I did push-ups – not very well or very many. I did some lunges to start working on my leg muscles. Jake put me through a bunch of repetitions and was beginning to remind me of a drill sergeant.

I toppled over a couple times while trying to work my muscles, but he never laughed at me. Though I heard a few snuffles coming from the forest, and I knew the pack members that were there were laughing at me.

I sighed irritably as we continued. I was tired, but I pushed on. My muscles were beginning to ache, but I didn't say a word. This idea of mine was going to put me in the hospital – but Jake just kept drilling me. As I worked, I could see flashes of eyes in the woods and I knew the pack was wandering around. I wasn't sure why Jake had all of them here, if all they were doing was pacing around.

Finally, Jake had me stop. "I had another idea," he said, popping up from his push-up position like it was nothing. I gave him a disgusted look, but he didn't notice.

"You may not be able to hear like we do, but you can work on hearing all the sounds around you, so when something sounds different, you know to be aware."

I thought about that. The forest was pretty quiet already; I figured I could possibly hear a noise that shouldn't be there. I pushed my hood back and nodded.

Jake continued. "You have to use other senses, Bella, instead of seeing what's coming toward you at the last minute. You have to use your ears, your sense of smell, and your intuition. We'll try it with just me first, then we'll work up to adding one or two of the guy's to help."

So _that's_ why they were here. To stalk me? Oh great. They were protecting me from danger, sure, but that didn't ease my nerves.

I closed my eyes. "Listen," Jake whispered.

I listened to the shifting of the wind, the sounds of the critters in the grass, and I gave a shriek of surprise when I felt Jake's fingertips on the back of my neck.

He laughed softly and we tried again. I still noticed nothing until I felt Jake's lips touch my ear. I still wasn't getting it when he added Quil and Seth to the mix. I stared in surprise at the sandy wolf loping next to Quil. It seemed Seth had moved right in to the pack and adjusted. His lanky wolf frame seemed eager and ready for action.

I closed my eyes and concentrated. This time I heard the soft patter of rain, the rustling of the leaves, and all of a sudden a wet nose shoved into the back of my knee. I jumped nearly a foot in the air. Quil was making a strange snorting sound. He was _laughing_ at me!

"Jake, I can't do this," I complained.

He was propped up against a tree watching me. "Bella, I believe you can do it. You're perceptive; you just really have to concentrate."

Irritated beyond belief, I closed my eyes and drifted. I concentrated, blocking out the usual evening noises. It felt different, like sounds were coming at me through a tunnel one at a time. I heard a whisper of leaves nearby and my senses prickled at the sensation of being watched. I spun around, opening my eyes. Seth's sandy head jerked up in surprise. His nose was barely an inch from my hip. The sight was enough to cause my heart to slam against my ribs, even though I knew it was Seth.

Jake gave a big belly laugh and caught me up in his arms. "You did it, Bells!"

"I did it!" I exclaimed, grinning like crazy.

"It's going to take a lot of practice yet, but we'll get it. I think we should take a break for today, though." My screaming muscles agreed.

I was surprised that a few hours had slipped by in the process. I realized I was starving. I headed back to Forks, with Jake's promise to come by tonight. I immediately dove for the chicken casserole and served up a big helping for myself.

Charlie was intent on the game. I ate quickly, washing it down with a glass of milk. "Goodnight," I called in to Charlie. He managed to dart a suspicious look at me, but he was too engrossed in the game to do anything other than call out a mumbled goodnight in response.

I changed into sweats and a tank top. I worked on homework that wasn't due until later to pass the time until I heard Charlie go to bed. Snuggled into bed, I tugged the covers up and waited. And winced every time I moved. My back ached, my arms throbbed, and my legs burned.

No wonder I never worked out. It _hurt_.

I groaned and tried to get comfortable. When I finally managed a halfway decent spot, I watched the shadows play over my wall. My eyelids were beginning to get heavy when Jake finally pushed my door open.

"Bella," he whispered, sliding into bed with me. His lips tasted like cinnamon and rain. I kissed him back fervently, reaching up to wind my arms around his neck.

Bad idea.

I gasped and winced in pain.

"Bella, what is it?" Jake whispered his voice worried.

"Nothing…" I whispered and tried to hide the wince. He gave me a look.

I sighed. "I'm a little sore, okay? No big deal."

"Where?" he asked. He gently rolled me onto my stomach.

"Arms, back, legs," I muttered, trying to roll back over. That's when I felt Jake's large hands on my back. They were so big that they nearly covered the entire expanse of my back. His fingers gently dug into my muscles.

I gasped at the pain, which quickly turned to groans as he eased the muscles. His lips brushed the back of my neck. "I shouldn't have pushed you so hard," he said, sounding worried.

"It's not your fault, Jake. Just keeping doing that," I groaned again and he laughed softly. He methodically worked his fingers along all the aching muscles until my body felt like a puddle of goo. I was a little embarrassed at all the noises I made, but he laughed and just kept telling me to keep it down.

I stayed sprawled in that position, too tired to move. Jake kissed his way up my back and then settled next to me, gently pulling me into him. I reached over and turned my newly acquired fan on. I laid my head on his chest, snuggling against him, feeling him shake with laughter. His hand spread over my back, acting as a heating pad.

As the heat seeped into my muscles, I tilted my face up to his for a soft kiss before I drifted off to sleep.

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**A/N: I will be leaving for vacation this Saturday for a week. Most likely will get to work on the story here and there, but just wanted to let that be known, because it'll be a bit later than it usually is. Will get it up asap, though!**

**And as far as the imprinting talk in this goes… I sort of felt like I should have more, but I know it'll come back up in later chapters, in case anyone else felt the same. Anyway, R&R… I love that! ;)**


	8. Exploration

**A/N: Thought I might have this in sooner, but with vacation didn't do too bad I don't think. Anyway, to make up for it I added just a couple slices of lemon here and there (especially the end) which ended up being longer than I planned. Haha. Enjoy! ;)**

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I had begun to look forward to the nighttime because of Jake. It made me feel safe knowing what was out there and what was hunting me. His arms would wrap around me and we would stay that way all night – it kept my nightmares at bay. They were less, but when he didn't stay with me, they would creep into my mind and fester like a sore.

It was like the nightmares I had when Edward left. Empty. Nothing. I would wander alone, but then I would become aware that something was following me. There was nothing in front of me and something evil lurking behind me. I still woke up screaming. Charlie never said anything about the inconsistency of my dreams.

We would not let my horrifying dreams or Jake's struggles with patrolling and dealing with problems due to the pack changes affect our nights together. When he held me we would talk about our lives. Serious things. Silly things. He told me stories of Quil getting into a couple fights at school due to his temper. Embry was the calmer one; he would step in and try to diffuse the situations. Quil was a little more volatile, like Jake – though Jake had been working at controlling his emotions.

I had accidentally found out that Maria had been asking about Jake again when I was at Sam and Emily's one evening with everyone. I didn't react like last time – I pretended I hadn't heard. It seemed this girl was rather persistent. She had come down from the Makah reservation one weekend, but Jake had been with me. I was trying to keep it from bothering me too much, but it would nag at me now and again. When I found out about her coming down, I mentioned it to Jake one night in bed.

"Jake…" I started, biting my lip, not really sure if I wanted to say anything.

We were pressed together, his face nuzzling into my hair. "Hmmm?" he murmured, his fingers stroking over my back.

"I heard that…" I couldn't seem to finish a sentence.

He pulled back. "What is it, honey?" His dark eyes had this way of capturing mine and drawing me in.

I swallowed. "I heard that Maria is still asking about you and that she came to La Push looking for you," I said in a rush.

He groaned. "I wish that girl would give it up. She is too damn persistent and she has been told how many times I'm not interested." He kissed me.

I pulled away, still bothered. "Bells, don't worry. She will move on; she just needs a new fixation. You know you are the only one I want."

He had kissed me again, and I relaxed into it. Our kissing had reached new heights for me. We both tended to like when he was on top, supporting his weight to keep from crushing me under his massive form. His hips seemed to have a mind of their own when he kissed me; I was a little embarrassed to allow mine to grind against him when I was on top. I had done that with him once, but I felt awkward now and I felt bad always stopping at that point.

One particular time, though, he was on top, kissing me hungrily. Devouring me.

Our lips were fused, tongues dueling. His hand was fisted in my hair, my hands restlessly rubbing up his back, grazing the edge of his hair, and back down again. He pulled back slightly, both of us gasping for breath and stared at each other. Something sizzled and our eyes locked as he lowered his mouth back to mine. Our lips touched, grazed, and we continued to stare into each others eyes. When his tongue slipped between my lips, his hips thrust against mine and the tip of his hard length pressed against me in a spot that caused my body to shake. I gasped at the sensation, wanting more.

His hips had pumped forward again, hitting that same spot. My body strained against his; flashes of heat and a throbbing sensation zinged along my nerves. I had never felt this before, not having the experience, and getting that close to something that felt so good had me wanting it so much. Charlie had bad timing, though, and chose to get up to use the bathroom. Jacob had rolled off me, and we both got quiet until we heard him snoring again.

The sensation had faded, but I kept thinking of it when we were together – and too nervous to actually ask for it.

There was one afternoon I had gone into my room and something had felt off. Everything seemed to be in place, but I couldn't shake the feeling. I chewed on my lip as I tried to remember if I had hung up the shirt that I wore to school. I was nearly positive I did. I had mentioned to Jacob what had happened and he had flipped out. He moved around my room, methodically checking everything and he would sniff the air making me wonder why he was doing that. A couple other things were out of place as well.

His face was tight; his eyes sparked with fury. A vampire had been in my room earlier in the day when Charlie and I were at La Push. He told me he could smell them easily. I couldn't stop shaking and Jake wouldn't leave me. Just the idea that my room had been invaded like that made me even _more_ scared. There weren't many nights after that that I was alone. In fact, Jacob had started leaving some clothes and other necessities in my room, buried in a little corner of my closet.

Jake kept me busy with his training regime as well, increasing the time together to work on it. We were in the clearing again, just Quil and Embry lurking on the perimeter keeping an eye on things. I had gotten better at hearing noises that didn't belong; the whisper of something creeping up; the intuition that I was beginning to trust.

Jacob had me standing alone in the clearing while he, Quil and Embry were in the woods nearby. It was my first time doing it alone without Jake standing there either doing the sneaking himself or watching how I tried to sense Quil or Embry.

I breathed as softly as possible, just listening to the wind, the dripping of rain off the leaves. Again, I sensed movement rather than heard it and spun around to face Quil. I smiled smugly.

"You're really getting the hang of this," Jake commented, coming out from behind a copse of trees.

I grinned. "I really am. You can't fool me, I can sense…" and of course I stumbled over a tree root.

All three of them laughed; one a human laugh, the other two a coughing bark.

"I can see we still need to work on a few things, though," Jake teased. He reached out and tugged my ponytail. I rolled my eyes at him and felt my lower lip stick out in a pout.

Jake leaned over and kissed it. Both Embry and Quil growled in response.

Jake pulled back with a snicker. "Okay, okay," he said.

"Bells, I want to teach you how to walk a little more quietly."

I glanced up at him. "You do it like this," he said. He showed me the careful stepping pattern. He would place his heels down first and roll down until his toes touched the ground. He crouched a bit, knees bent. He showed me how to back up, too, just by reversing the direction. His feet made no noise on the ground. It continued to surprise me that he could be so silent and graceful for as big as he was.

I imitated his steps, trying to turn my feet the right way. After a few tries, I had the steps down, but had to keep working on the silence. And be more aware of what I was stepping on. When we finished for the day, I went back to the house to get dinner ready for Charlie. He seemed distracted as we ate.

"Everything okay, Dad?" I asked. He was frowning down at the table, methodically chewing his dinner.

He glanced up. "Bella, you don't really walk alone in the woods anymore, do you?"

My eyes widened unsure of where he was going with this. "Not really. Why?"

"There's been a rash of attacks in Seattle and one or two I heard that sounded similar in Port Angeles. I don't like the idea of you alone in the forest."

"No problem, Dad," I said, suppressing a shiver. The thought of Victoria and whatever she was doing was nerve-wracking. I knew Jacob and the pack were busy keeping watch, but I was scared for them and for Charlie. They had to be safe.

After dinner, I went upstairs to work on more homework. It had been piling up and I was trying to keep ahead of things. I finished and got ready for bed. Jake came immediately after patrolling and we curled up in bed together. Restlessly, I stroked my fingers over his chest. His hand curled over mine and he kissed my knuckles.

"What is it, Bella?" he asked, tilting my face up so we were eye-to-eye.

"Charlie is worried, Jacob. He knows of attacks in Seattle and the one when we were in Port Angeles." His fingers tightened around mine. "I'm scared for you. Charlie. The pack. You shouldn't have to be in this situation just because of me."

He glared at me, his brows snapping together over his dark eyes. "Bella, don't start that again," he growled. "That's what people do when they care about someone. Protect them."

I sighed and figured it was best to drop the subject. He pulled me to him a little harder than normal. I thumped into his chest and he rolled onto his back, pulling me with him until I was straddling him.

"Not another word," he breathed and kissed me roughly. I could feel the annoyance in his kiss. When I kissed him back, his mouth softened and his hold on my arms loosened.

The kiss grew a little hungrier and I bit his lip – not so gently. He growled low in his throat and pulled me down so I was sprawled over his chest more fully. I dragged my lips away from his and bit my way up his neck to his ear. His breathing was ragged when I sucked on his earlobe. His hands glided up my stomach until his fingers brushed against my breasts.

I moaned softly at the warmth seeping through the thin cloth and penetrating my skin. He cupped them and rubbed his thumbs over my nipples. I was beginning to feel a bit dizzy at the sensation. I sat up, still straddling him. I wanted to move back, to push myself against the spot I wanted to feel so badly again. The darn roadblock in my mind kept me from doing so, though, and then Jacob was kissing me again, his tongue pushing deeper into my mouth. My tongue met his and we continued until I felt as if I'd explode. His fingers continued to stroke my breasts.

My legs moved restlessly and my breasts throbbed from his touch. "Jake," I managed to pant. That was all I could get out as he quickly rolled us over so we were lying on our sides facing each other. He pulled me up, so my breasts were in line with his mouth. The heat of his breath was causing shivers to race up and down my spine.

I realized as he bent his head toward me what he was about to do. "Yes," I managed to gasp as his lips pressed against the side of my breast. My chest was heaving as I struggled to remember how to breathe. His lips trailed heat and flames as he coasted around my breast, kissing softly.

I tightened my hold on his hair, keeping him there. I wanted more.

When his lips touched my nipple through my thin tank top, I cried out. His fingers moved up to my mouth, urging me to keep quiet. I took one of his fingers in my mouth, scraping my teeth over it.

He groaned and with a firm tug, my nipple was between his lips. My back arched as a rush of feeling seemed to arrow directly down between my thighs. I felt so hot and achy. His mouth was pulling gently at me, his tongue pressed to my nipple, his teeth scraping over it.

I could barely stand it – the sounds escaping from my throat were desperate.

I could barely imagine what it would feel like if I had no shirt on. Thoughts flew out of my head as he moved to my other breast.

I wanted more. More. More.

I couldn't get the words out, and Jake pulled away, gasping. My leg had managed to work its way over his hip, trying to pull him into me.

"Bella. Damn," he gasped. His eyes were so dark with lust, I barely recognized him. Unfortunately, that pause let the realization of what we were doing seep into my brain.

I wanted it more than anything right now, but the rational side of me knew the consequences. As much as I wanted to, I still wasn't sure if we were ready to have sex. Well, emotionally ready. If what had occurred between my thighs was any indication, I was certainly ready physically.

A blush spread over my whole face as I met Jake's eyes. He grinned, but there was a tint to his cheeks, too. "I, um, need to go in the bathroom for a moment, Bells."

I swallowed hard and nodded. He pressed his lips to my ear. "You taste so good," he whispered before he got up and left the room.

I groaned as a new wave of lust rolled through me. I turned over and felt the cool air of my fan as it hit my chest, causing me to shiver. I glanced down and saw the damp spots on my tank top that Jacob's mouth had created. I got up and crept into the hall. I could hear his soft "uhhh" coming from the bathroom and I felt dangerously warm again.

I crawled back into my bed, trying to banish the thought of Jacob in the bathroom from my mind. For the first time in my life, I felt compelled to try and achieve what I never thought to do for myself. Except I wanted Jake to cause it now, so I would have to wait. When he slipped back into bed with me, I felt his lips against my neck.

"Goodnight, Bells," he murmured, laughter in his voice.

I just sighed. It was going to be a long night.

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**JPOV:**

I paced around my dad's little house as I waited for the howl to signal it was time to patrol. I was bored and restless. It didn't help that the only thing that kept running through my mind was the feel of Bella's nipple in my mouth.

Through her tank top, but nevertheless….

It was like a constant loop and I was a little apprehensive about phasing to patrol tonight. I knew that Bella would need to be made aware that our private business wasn't always private. I had been working tirelessly to banish thoughts from my head when I phased for her sake, but I couldn't always do that.

And now her nipple kept making appearances in my mind. Frequently. I couldn't get over how soft and warm she had felt. Then when it had hardened in my mouth…

_Oh God. This is hopeless_.

A distant howl echoed from the forest. Sam was ready for me, and I was starting to feel ready in other ways. "Dammit," I hissed.

I sucked in a deep breath, working on controlling my emotions. As my mind flicked over images of the pack, I realized I was good to go. That was enough to kill any amorous thoughts. And the thought of Leah's reactions to my reactions were enough to mostly push Bella from my mind.

I grabbed my shorts and ran out the door, calling goodbye to Billy, and as soon as I hit the tree line, I phased. The moon was full tonight, a soft hazy white with wispy gray clouds drifting over it. The rain had stopped, though I could feel the heaviness in the air that indicated it would start again. The earth's smell rose and I inhaled deeply. I ran toward the howl and skidded to a stop in the clearing. My muscles were thrumming and quivering from the exertion and excitement.

Leah, Sam, Embry and Paul were waiting. They were all quivering in turn, ready for action. I hoped we would find some bloodsuckers tonight. I was anxious to rip into the damn leeches that threatened the girl I loved to distraction. And man was she a distraction. Before I could help it, a mental image flashed of Bella arching against me, and I shoved it away as fast as possible. Apparently, I was ready for some other kind of action.

_Oh God, not again. Do you ever think with your actual brain and not your…_

Leah's thought was cut off as Embry snarled at her. _Just because you're not getting any action doesn't mean no one else should suffer._

That wasn't exactly helpful.

_Give me a break. Jared thinks about Kim, Sam thinks about Emily, why can't I think about Bella? Not that I want to and let you freaks have a peep show._ I let out an annoyed grunt.

I saw Leah flinch and I felt bad. I didn't mean to bring up Sam and Emily to hurt her, but thoughts of Emily would on occasion flash across Sam's mind. How the hell else would I ever find out what girl's liked if it weren't for him and Jared?

I didn't apologize to Leah, because I knew that would make it worse, so instead I thought of destroying some bloodsuckers tonight. Everyone's thoughts got more excited with that.

_Paul, Embry, you guys go east. Leah, Jake, you two go west. I'll cover the rest._ Sam's thought interrupted us.

_You shouldn't go it alone, Sam,_ Paul thought, growling and stomping his paws.

_I'll be fine. _He took off before we could argue.

I shrugged and loped off into the trees, Leah zipping in and out of the trees ahead of me. She was quiet for now, which I greatly appreciated.

It didn't last long.

My thoughts drifted to Bella again – the way she sounded when I was kissing along her…

_Dude! You tasted her… _

_Shut up, Paul! _Everyone thought that at once. I snarled in embarrassment.

_*I'm* starting to think about Bella, Jake! Stop sharing your slobbering attempts at getting laid. _Leah's thoughts were harsh.

I took a snap at her leg. She danced out of my way, taunting me. _Come on, lover boy, I'll race you._

She took off and I shot after her, growling in irritation. I caught a whiff of something, though, and skidded to a halt. Leah turned around catching the scent of it, too. A vampire was nearby. The hair on my neck stood up and I bared my teeth. The muscles in my legs bunched as I readied to attack. Leah stood by my side, quivering in anticipation.

I felt a rush of air and spun around to face the leech. It ran at me with unnatural speed, but I sidestepped and snapped at its arm, managing to rip a chunk out in the process. Snarls erupted on both sides as Leah circled one way and I went the other. The leech was female – dark, tangled hair and vivid red eyes. She was wearing a ripped sundress and was barefoot. There was a look of wildness about her. Of hunger. Her eyes wheeled around, seemingly trying to decide who to attack.

_She seems out of it; I'll distract her and you get her from behind._ Leah's ears were flattened on her skull; her smaller body crouched low in attack mode.

I stayed still as Leah danced toward the bloodsucker, then back, engaging her in a form of dance. Her attention focused on Leah, I inched behind a tree to lull her into thinking it was just Leah she was fighting against. When her back was to me, I crouched and bunched the muscles in my legs and sprung at the leech's back. Crashing into her, I ripped furiously at her arms, her legs, anything I could reach. She threw herself back up, sending me flying into a tree.

It was enough time for Leah to dive in and wrench a leg from her body. Howls erupted as I threw myself back into the fray. This time Leah took a dive into a tree as I managed to rip the leech's head off.

I dimly heard Sam's thoughts as Leah and I finished ripping the dark-haired leech apart. _There's a bonfire in the clearing a few feet to your left, Jake. _

We threw the pieces into the bonfire as I heard Embry howl in anger. _There's another one!_

The sounds of fighting and howling came at us from deeper in the forest. Leah and I hastened to throw the stone pieces of the vampire into the flames and took off toward the sound. Embry was snarling and fighting with a blonde male vampire. We all reached the clearing and helped Embry to destroy the blonde.

Suddenly, I was crashing through the brush again, my face smashing into a tree. My head was spinning sickeningly, and I dragged myself back up. A monstrously huge male vampire was standing there and we all charged, howls splitting the night in two. We all tore into the vampire, making quick work of him. My whole face hurt, and I could see everyone else looking haggard after we threw the last vampire into the fire.

_Damn. Where did they come from?_

_I have no idea. I don't smell anymore, though, I think we got them all. _

All I wanted was to go to Bella and make sure she was all right. As soon as Sam gave the all clear, I let him know. _I need to go make sure Bella is okay. _

_We've been near the house, Jake. No vampire was near it._ Sam reassured me.

_That's great, I still have to go. _

He nodded and I took off, pelting through the forest toward Charlie's house. Bella. Bella. Bella. Her name resounded through my mind incessantly. I had to see her. Touch her. Make sure she was okay. As soon as I reached the edge of the forest, I phased back and yanked my shorts on. I snagged the spare key from its hiding spot and quietly opened it. I eased up the steps, avoiding the creaky one and slipped by Charlie's door. He was snoring contentedly. I eased Bella's door open.

She was asleep, her small body curled up in the fetal position under her comforter, the fan stirring the strands of her brown hair fanned out on the pillow. Her pink lips were parted slightly as she breathed deeply. Her arm was stretched out, hanging over the edge of the bed. I felt so much love for her at the moment it nearly dropped me to my knees. I didn't want to wake her, she looked so peaceful.

I carefully sat on the edge of the bed. My body was still sore from slamming into those damn trees. I knew it was only a matter of time until it eased. I watched Bella sleep and gently traced a finger over her cheekbone. She sighed softly. God, she was perfect. Despite all that had happened tonight, she could still excite me just by looking at her.

She must have sensed my presence, because she stretched and blinked her eyes open. Those beautiful milk-chocolate eyes; I could drown in them. "Jake?" she whispered, sitting up.

When she got a better look at me, she gasped. "Jake! What happened?" Her voice rose in panic and I stroked her hair.

"Shh, Bella, it's okay. We took care of it."

She wasn't having any of it.

"You're hurt," she whispered, her smooth brow puckering. She got up and moved toward the door.

"Where are you going?" I tugged her back.

She pulled her hand away. "You're a mess, Jake. Hold on." She disappeared out the door quietly. I barely heard her footsteps and I smiled. All that practice seemed to be paying off.

She came back in and stood in front of me. She had a washcloth in her hand and she gently began dabbing it against my forehead. When she pulled it away, I was a little surprised that it was bloodier than I thought it would be. That tree must have given me a decent gash. Even though it would heal on its own, I let Bella play nurse. She finished dabbing my forehead, and then went to work on my cheek, then my hands.

As she continued, I couldn't help but realize her chest was nearly in perfect line with my eyes. And I could feel my mouth water at the sight. Bella was never aware of how sexy she could be; and she apparently had no idea her tank tops left little to the imagination. Or did she? Maybe she wanted to drive me crazy.

I could see perfectly the outline of her small breasts and the nipples that pushed the fabric out further. I groaned.

"Are you okay?" she asked worriedly.

I couldn't help but laugh. She was still worried about my now healing cuts when what was killing me was having a close-up view of her beautiful breasts in a too thin tank top.

"I'm fine, honey," I said, pulling the washcloth out of her hand and tugging her down onto my lap. Maybe that wasn't such a good idea as I felt myself growing harder.

She was too distracted too notice. I wasn't sure if I should feel flattered that she was so concerned about me or bothered that she barely noticed I was hard and straining against her. "Jake, what happened tonight?" she asked, wrapping her arms around my neck.

I sighed. Looks like a little loving would have to wait a bit. Now that the danger was lessened, I just wanted to pull her little body on top of me. "There were some bloodsuckers in the woods tonight. We killed three of them."

"Three?!" she gasped. I could see the fear in her eyes and I hated it. I hated seeing her scared.

"Yes," I whispered. "They're all dead, Bella. There weren't any more, honey. We checked. You're safe."

"But what about you?" Her lip was trembling. I could see her trying to stiffen it. "Jake, you could have gotten hurt worse. Or been… been…" She couldn't even finish that thought.

"Killed?" I muttered. "Have some faith, Bells. We know what we're doing. It upsets me, too, but I told you we won't let anything happen to you. And don't worry about us; we have each others backs. Leah really helped me out tonight." It kind of hurt to admit that; I had to be rescued by Leah. Though I had helped her out, too, so I hoped I wouldn't be harassed _too_ much.

She still looked upset. I wished she would stop worrying about me. She kept blaming herself for getting us into this mess. It was beginning to drive me crazy.

I lay back on her bed, pulling her with me. She stretched out on top of me, her head on my chest. "Bella, we're safe tonight. I can hear Sam and Paul out there; they're keeping watch. Let's worry about it tomorrow, okay?"

The worry was still in her eyes, so I pulled her up to me by her arms and kissed her. She was hesitant at first, but she let me part her lips with my tongue. Her breath quickened, so I knew the distraction was working. I could kiss her all day. Her lips were so soft, so sweet. I loved trailing my fingers along the bumps of her spine. No idea why that kind of excited me, but it did, so I continued to do so.

The sounds she made were driving me crazy. Soft sighs, little whimpers, gasps when I did something she liked. I was sure I would remember everything that excited her; I wanted to make her happy, to always be able to get her excited. Her breath quickened as I took her lower lip between my teeth and tugged.

"Jake," she whimpered. God, I loved when she whimpered my name. I could feel my raging hard-on come back full force. Her legs clamped around my hips as her hair spilled over our faces.

I moved my hands under that flimsy tank top, caressing the skin of her stomach. I dipped my finger in her bellybutton and grinned against her mouth when she laughed. Her strawberry-scented hair invaded my senses. I could taste the mint of the toothpaste she used on my tongue. Her skin smelled of soap – a clean, floral scent. And underneath the surface scents, I could smell the beginning of her arousal. It excited me beyond belief and I groaned.

Her hands stroked over my bare chest, fingers brushing against my nipples. Her lips moved from my mouth to place wet kisses down my neck to my chest. I was a little surprised as she continued to move downward. I knew Bella wouldn't go too far, but I was still caught off guard when her kisses trailed over my stomach. The muscles of my stomach quivered along with my erection. She moved back up to kiss me again, biting at my lips.

"Mmm," I groaned.

She was moving her legs restlessly against mine as she moved up, pushing her chest closer to my face. Did she want me to kiss them again? God, I wanted to. I could see the soft outline of her nipples and I wanted to kiss them, feel them harden in my mouth. My erection was almost painful. I was going to have to hand-job myself again if I was going to get any rest after this. I gently pulled her down, supporting her weight as I did, and kissed around her nipple again. She moaned, but pulled away. I frowned, not sure what she wanted.

"Jake, can you…um… kiss me…" Her voice trailed off and I could see a blush spread over her cheeks. What did she want?

"Can I do what, Bells?" I encouraged her to ask me.

"Can you… kiss them…?" I grinned at how cute she was, not even wanting to say breasts.

The rest came out in a rush "… with no shirt in the way?" Her voice was small, her face red.

The rush of desire was so strong I felt as if I could come right then and there. I couldn't believe she was asking this. I hadn't pushed her last time, because I was afraid of rushing her. But she was asking _me._ It was a heady feeling and I was eager to please. I kissed her, a little rougher than I intended, my tongue delving deep into her mouth. Then keeping my eyes on hers, I slid my fingers under the thin straps at her shoulders and gently tugged them down until her breasts were free.

Her spontaneous reaction was to cover herself even though she wanted this, but I wouldn't let her. I just held her hands in mine and gazed at her. I swallowed hard. They were pale. Perfect. Two small, soft mounds topped with rosy nipples. She whimpered. I could tell she wanted it, but was scared of my reaction. I had no idea why.

"You are so beautiful," I murmured. "So perfect." Her blush made me smile.

I gently tugged her up again, so they hovered over my mouth. I leaned in, seeing her eyes darken, and kissed all around like I had done before. Her breath came heavier, and her fingers burrowed in my hair. I could feel her nails lightly scratching my scalp as she dragged them through the length of my hair. I loved when she did that. It felt incredible.

I kissed all over her, finally allowing my lips to touch her nipple. Her body jerked and I could feel her rock against me. When I finally closed my lips over it, she was gasping and moaning, inciting me further. I suckled at her, tugging gently. She tasted unbelievable. As I massaged one breast and sucked and kissed the other, her hips began moving even more anxiously.

"Please, Jake… yes… yes," she was moaning frantically. Oh man. She wanted to feel me against her. I could tell by the way she was pushing back toward my erection.

This was probably going to embarrass me, but what my girl wanted, my girl would get. I grasped her hips - her thin cotton pants not an issue – and with my lips still against her nipple, lowered her against me. I was throbbing. I was struggling to remain in control. I could control my emotions a little better; I could control this, right? Her hips began rocking against me a little and having my erection pressing between her thighs was pushing me over the limit. I held onto her hips, knowing she needed some encouragement, and began rocking her hips myself.

The friction was undeniably fantastic. I was groaning around her nipple. I couldn't stop this if I tried. I pumped my hips up, pushing myself against her, as I shifted her body over me. She took over from there, leaning her chest over me, her fingers gripping my hair. I continued to lick and kiss her breasts as she ground herself against me. I was merely holding onto her hips for my own support now. I wasn't going to last much longer and I prayed she would find release soon.

She did.

Her body bucked, pulling back, her chin tilted up as she moaned loudly. I couldn't even find it in me to try and quiet her. Her body quaked, shaking, as she continued moaning and riding the wave of her climax. As I watched her mouth open, eyes filled with desire close, I exploded. I managed to stifle the cry of release that erupted, my body spasming against hers. We reached for each other simultaneously, holding each other as our bodies finished trembling.

That was fucking fantastic; worth coming in my pants for. We were both panting, holding each other. She was kissing me, I was stroking her hair. As much as I wanted to not get up, I knew I had to.

"Bella?" I rasped.

Her voice was just as hoarse. "Yeah?"

"I, uh, need to change my pants."

She pulled herself back, her eyes landing everywhere except on my face. I was blushing, too, but I couldn't help a little laugh. I wanted to bask in the warmth and color tingeing her face that her orgasm had created. I wanted to touch every part of her, kiss her senseless, but first I needed to change.

She moved off of me and I discreetly checked the bed before grabbing the extra pair of shorts I had stashed in her closet. Luckily, there was nothing. I noticed Bella had averted her gaze from me, so I hurried to the bathroom.

Damn. This wasn't exactly how I pictured coming with Bella. So much for finesse. This was something that was _not_ going to cross my mind when I had to phase! And I realized I hadn't told her. Damn.

I yanked the offending shorts off, cleaned myself up quickly and changed into the other pair. Not sure at first what to do with the pair I carried gingerly back into her room – luckily she was still facing away from me – I tossed them out the window and watched as they landed in the bush below. Perfect. No one would see them and I could grab them tomorrow when I left.

I carefully slid back into bed, tugging her back on top of me. She buried her face in my neck and didn't move.

"Bella," I chuckled. "That was amazing. Come on, I want to see you."

She sighed, her breath tickling my ear. Her face lifted and as she reluctantly met my eyes, I pulled her down and kissed her. "Jake," she murmured. "It really _was_ amazing."

I could feel the huge grin spreading over my face. I kissed her again, over and over until she gave a little giggle. I would never tire of that sound. I turned on my side, so we were facing each other. She had to mold herself to me, so we would fit. And we really didn't fit that well on her bed, but I couldn't care less. I wrapped my arms around her and felt her arm fit up under mine where she tangled her fingers in my hair.

"Bells?" I mumbled softly. "You know how the pack reads each others minds…"

I felt her stiffen against me.

"I've been working on blocking out most thoughts of you by thinking about it constantly when I'm not phased, but sometimes I slip up."

"Oh Jake," she groaned. She gave my hair a little yank.

I sighed. "It's just how it is, Bells. I needed to tell you, though. It's just part of it; we all deal with it."

She sighed. "How embarrassing," she muttered. But she kissed my neck. "Well, make sure you keep working on _not_ thinking about me."

I smiled. "I will. Promise."

The last thing I remembered before drifting off was telling her that she tasted better than anything I had ever tasted before.

************************************************************************

It seemed that barely any time had passed when I woke and realized I had to get out of the house before Charlie got up. I must have been out completely. I groaned, all the events of last night flooding my mind. Bella was fast asleep, her head tucked under my chin. I moved my head back a little and tilted her face up toward mine.

"Jacob," she murmured. I raised my eyebrows, realizing she was still asleep. "You taste good, too," she whispered, her voice a bit garbled.

I laughed and began my usual wake-up ritual with her. I feathered kisses over her forehead, her cheeks, her nose, her eyelids and finally her lips. I felt her smile against my lips. She always did that; she loved being woken up that way.

"Morning," she whispered.

"Morning," I whispered back. "I need to go, Bells."

She gave her usual petulant sigh and I grinned. "No pouting. I'll see you later today."

Suddenly, there was movement outside the door. Shit, Charlie woke up early! I rolled off the bed, hunched over on the floor, hiding, in case he opened the door. Bella shot up in bed like a rocket.

"Bella? I'm heading in to work a little early. You decent?" Thank God we had been locking the door!

I glanced up and tried not to groan, or laugh, or get hard. She was naked from the waist up. She grabbed the blanket and yanked it up to her chin. "N-no, Dad. I'll just talk to you later, o-okay?"

"All right. See you later, Bells."

As soon as Charlie's footsteps retreated, I couldn't stop my snort of laughter. She glared down at me, but her mouth was twitching. "Shut up, Jake," she said. "My dad catching us once – and just kissing – was one thing. This would make him grab his gun!"

I managed to stop laughing. I glanced out the window. The cruiser was pulling away, so I turned and gave Bella a lingering kiss. Frustrated, I wished it was the weekend, because then I would attempt to stay in bed with her longer. With a sigh, I pulled away.

"I'll talk to you later, Bells," I whispered.

I headed out and aimed straight for home before I could change my mind.


	9. Ride at Sunrise

***********************************************************************

**BPOV:**

I got ready for school in a daze after Jake left. I had no idea if I would be able to concentrate. My mind kept drifting back to last night – how I had worked up the courage to tell Jacob what I wanted and how I got something extra in return. And boy was it an incredible extra. I felt warm just thinking about it. It was all I could think about and all I wanted was more of it.

I barely heard Mike talking to me on the way to English, but I finally drug myself out of the memories of Jake's lips on my bare skin, of the feelings he brought on by rubbing himself against me, when the words La Push penetrated my fog.

"What? La Push?" I asked in confusion.

Mike just gave me a sideways look. He was apparently a little annoyed I wasn't listening to him. I made myself look interested – though it wasn't hard now – and gave him an encouraging smile.

Grudgingly, he repeated himself. "Yeah, we were thinking of going to La Push tonight just to sit around on the beach, to hang out and unwind."

Jake and I didn't really have any plans; I would probably be in La Push anyway. So I agreed to go. I figured Mike would know that Jacob would be there since it was now common knowledge we were dating. I wondered, as we sat down in class, if I should start referring to him as my boyfriend. We never really discussed that, though it was quite obvious we spent our free time together. I was a little surprised that Jake – as far as I knew – never referred to me as his girlfriend. It caused a little momentary panic.

_Stop being stupid_, I scolded myself.

Jacob never failed to tell me how much he cared about me; though I noticed he had never actually said the three words to me that most girls longed to hear. I wasn't sure, though, if I was ready for that yet either. I knew Jake loved me, but I wondered if he held back for my sake or if he wasn't ready to say it to me yet. I knew in many ways I loved him, that I had been falling for him, but there was still something I felt in me for Edward that was strong. It didn't feel the same, like it had lessened, but it hurt to relinquish that and fall so completely for someone else. It was so confusing.

I stopped daydreaming when I was called on to answer a question. I tried to bring my focus back as I drifted through classes. When lunch time rolled around, I was actually relieved for once. Jessica's incessant chattering – usually so annoying – would help keep my mind off of Jacob.

"Are you going to La Push tonight, Bella?" Angela asked. I noticed she was eating with one hand, the other under the table. Ben was doing the same thing. I smiled a little.

"Yeah, I am. You're both going, too, right?" I addressed both her and Ben.

"Yeah, it sounds like fun," Ben said, giving me a smile. He really was a sweet boy. I was happy for him and Angela.

"So, Bella, is Jacob going to be there?" Jessica had a half-curious, half-mocking look on her face. Lauren was watching me closely, too. I had taken a bite of my sandwich and nearly choked on it.

"I-I think so," I managed to say. I still wasn't used to talking about him. He felt like another part of my world, so opposite of this one, that it felt odd talking about him. He was mine and I didn't want to share him.

I was a little surprised by the possessiveness I was feeling.

It had felt like that with Edward, too, but he was part of this school world in a way that Jacob wasn't.

"Are any of his friends going?" Jessica asked casually. I saw Mike's eyes dart in her direction, his lips twitching downward.

"Yeah, most likely," I replied softly, watching Mike out of the corner of my eye. I couldn't help but wonder if he had feelings for Jessica. He always seemed to be into me, but he _had_ dated Jessica for a little while.

When lunch was over, I managed to get through Biology. Gym was not as bad – I only bruised my elbow a little when I banged it into the wall serving the tennis ball back. It seemed as if I was improving bit by bit. Even the teacher complimented me, surprise written across his features.

When I got home, I saw a little speck of color in the bush under my window. I walked over and blushed as I realized it was Jake's shorts. I had wondered what he had done with them – and apparently he had forgotten to take them home. I picked them up carefully and tossed them in with my clothes. Thankfully, I was the one who did the wash. I called Jake and listened to the phone ring twice.

"Hello?"

I got goose bumps hearing his husky voice in my ear. "Jake," I said, a smile curling my lips.

"Bells! I've been thinking about you all day."

"I've been thinking about you, too. I wanted to let you know that some of the kids from school are coming to the beach after dinner. Will you and the pack go?"

"Some of us will," Jake answered. "Bells, everyone needs to stay within sight, though. The rest of the pack will be patrolling – I mean, we can't stop them from using the beach, but if any of them were to see one of us, or to wander off alone…" his voice trailed off.

I swallowed around the lump in my throat. "It's going to be a small group of people. We can tell them they need to stay on the beach, though, right?"

"We'll figure something out. So far there haven't been any sightings or even the hint of anything. I think it will be fine," he said, his voice reassuring.

I started to get dinner ready for Charlie and myself – boiling the water to make pasta and cooking beef tips in sauce. When he got home, we sat down to dinner.

"Dad, I'm going down to La Push after dinner. Some of the kids from school are just going to hang out. Jake and some of his friends are going to come, too."

He took a bite and nodded at me. "Okay. Billy invited us down for dinner tomorrow, too. Just the four of us." His tone made me worry a little. It sounded too meaningful when he said that.

I nodded hesitantly, eyeing him as we finished dinner. He didn't seem bothered by anything, just quiet. But that was Charlie. He offered to clean up so I could get ready and leave for La Push. I changed into a long-sleeved jersey – it had gotten cooler – and grabbed my rain jacket.

When I got to La Push, I parked my car in Billy's driveway as Jacob came out the front door. He swooped me up into a hug, burying his nose in my hair, inhaling deeply. I laughed at his exuberance.

"I love that you smell like strawberries. I could smell it in your hair when you were kissing me last night. And now strawberries will remind me of how you look when… you come." He met my eyes, but was blushing a little at his own words and I felt my skin heat as well.

I tried to hide my face, but he tilted it up and kissed me. And kissed me. Until I felt even more heated and could barely breathe.

"We should go," I murmured before we got carried away. He drove my truck to the beach as I curled up next to him.

Mike, Jessica, Lauren, Angela, Ben, Tyler, and Eric arrived shortly after us. Jared and Kim came with Leah. Paul arrived with Quil trailing behind. It looked like the rest of the pack was patrolling in the woods. The guys got a fire going while the girls chatted.

I could see Jessica and Lauren eyeing Jacob surreptitiously. I didn't particularly like the way they were eyeing him like he was a piece of meat. Or like he was available.

I made the introductions. "Jake, you know Mike. This is Jessica, Lauren, Angela, her boyfriend Ben, Tyler and Eric," I said pointing everyone out. "This is Jacob. My boyfriend," I added my voice a little softer.

There were some surprised faces, but none more surprised than Jacob. He recovered quickly and grinned at everyone, that sunny grin that never failed to make me happy. He joked with the guys, flattered the girls, and I had to laugh as he charmed everyone. He introduced them to his friends as I perched against a log near the fire.

My mind drifted – for what seemed like the millionth time – to last night. The way his lips had moved over my skin, over my breasts, and the way he had rocked my hips over his. It wasn't just the fire that was making me hot, I thought, as I watched the flames dance against the darkening sky. I glanced over and caught Jake's eye. He finished what he was saying and excused himself. Everyone gravitated around the fire, striking up individual conversations as Jake sat next to me. I smiled when he urged me to move between his legs, which I did.

I leaned my head back against his chest, the warmth from the fire and from Jacob's body, making me a little sleepy. He nuzzled my hair. "So… your boyfriend, huh?" he murmured, his heated breath stirring the hair at my temple.

"Yeah… you know, I didn't know if you…" I started, but he turned me to face him and kissed me.

"I knew it would come to that; I knew I would be too irresistible for you," he said, fighting a grin.

I gave him a look and turned back around. I felt his laugh stir the hair at the back of my neck. "I have wanted to call you my girlfriend," he said, his fingers moving along my thighs. "I just wasn't sure how you would feel about it."

"I'm fine with it," I whispered. "I wasn't sure at first, but I am."

I saw glances being cast in our direction, so I discreetly shifted away from Jacob's fingers. We chatted with Jared and Kim; she kept giving me knowing looks that were making me think of things I shouldn't. Jacob was of the same intent, because his fingers had crept up the back of my shirt.

He hoisted me up and took my hand. "Come on. Let's go down the beach a bit."

I felt as if every eye were on me as I followed him down the beach. When we were out of eyeshot, he groaned. "I can't stop thinking about last night; touching you by the fire was just making me want to touch more of you."

He kissed me feverishly. His hands stroked my arms, my back, and then he slid them under my shirt. I twined my tongue around his, gripping his hair tighter. I gasped into his mouth when his hands closed over my breasts. He dipped his fingers inside my bra, rubbing my nipples.

He sucked on my lower lip as he continued massaging my breasts. Fire was blazing a path in my veins as I arched into his hands.

My legs felt weak; my brain was fuzzy.

He released my breasts and I whimpered in protest. Before I could react, he had hauled me up. A surprised gasp slipped from my lips as I automatically wrapped my legs around his waist. His full lips came crashing back down on mine as I felt the bulge in his jeans push directly between my legs.

I was panting; I broke away from the kiss, my head falling back slightly, pushing myself against him. His teeth nipped at my jaw.

I was completely lost in the feel, the taste of him. The earth could move and I wouldn't know it. All I was focused on was what was pressing into the juncture of my thighs and the feel of his lips trailing a path down my neck. Suddenly, I was back on my feet.

"What…?" I managed to mutter.

"Someone's coming to check on us," he murmured, looking rather dazed himself.

I adjusted my clothing quickly. Jared came into view, a smirk on his face. "Jake, I think most people are heading out. You, uh, planning on coming back anytime soon?" He snickered.

"Sure, sure," he replied, rolling his eyes.

We trudged back to the fire, said goodbye to everyone who was heading out. Jessica and Lauren gave Jacob one last lingering glance. Ben and Angela were still perched on a log. She took one look at me and grinned. I bit my lip, but managed to smile back. They came over to say their goodbyes.

Angela leaned in toward me. "I like him, Bella. He's very charming and sweet. And beautiful."

I smiled, my face softening. "Thanks. Night, Angela."

I yawned, surprised at how much the time flew by. I had to get home. Jake walked me to the truck. I was excited for tonight. "You're coming later, right?" I asked.

He grimaced. "I can't, Bella. I'm patrolling for Quil tonight."

My heart sank. I wanted to be alone with him. I got into my truck, dejected. He leaned in the window to kiss me. "Tomorrow morning," he whispered.

"What?"

"It's a surprise." He smiled. "See you then. Don't worry tonight; I'll be patrolling around Charlie's."

I drove home, wondering what he was up to. I called goodnight to Charlie as I went upstairs to my room. I yawned, more tired than I thought, as I climbed into bed. I drifted off to sleep.

************************************************************************

I woke the next morning to the usual soft kisses. I reached up and threaded my fingers in his hair. When his lips touched mine, I sighed. "Jake," I mumbled.

His fingers stroked the tangled mess of my hair back from my face. "Bella, wake up. Come on, we're going to La Push."

I blinked my eyes open sleepily and saw that it was only five in the morning. "Ughh," I groaned. "Jake, it's so early," I complained.

He chuckled. "Sleepy head. If you don't get up, you'll miss the surprise."

I groaned and dragged myself out of bed. I stumbled my way to the bathroom and brushed my teeth. I winced when I glanced in the mirror. My hair was a rat's nest and I had crease marks on my cheeks. I yanked a comb through my hair and secured it in a ponytail. I changed into a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt and yawned my way back to my room.

Jake was sitting on my bed, looking tired, but bright-eyed. He laughed at my expression and handed me my hoodie. I gave him a grumpy look and yanked it on. We crept downstairs and I left a note for Charlie that I was in La Push already and would see him there later that evening. The drive to the beach was quiet; I was still too sleepy to make conversation. I glanced out the window of the truck and watched as the sky turned from black to the deep blue of an early morning. The forecast was calling for clear weather until later this afternoon; I was glad for the reprieve. I yawned and laid my head on Jake's shoulder as the trees whipped past in a blur.

He drove us straight to First Beach. "What are we doing?" I asked.

"Come on, I'll show you," he said, taking my hand in his.

We stopped just inside the tree line that edged the beach. Jake turned and gave me a smile. I could see in his eyes that he seemed a little on edge, too. I heard a rustle nearby and spun around.

"It's just Quil and Embry. They're keeping an eye out for us. They won't be too close, though." He cleared his throat. "Bells, you trust me, right?"

I frowned at him. "Um… yeah. You know I do."

"Okay, well this might freak you out a little. Just trust that I won't let you get hurt."

I pursed my lips and raised my eyebrows at him. He turned around and walked deeper into the forest. "Hey…" I protested. My eyes widened as he came back as the immense russet wolf I had seen twice – though both very brief encounters.

I swallowed hard as he came up to me, head lowered, keeping his eyes on me. His eyes were what kept me from being completely freaked out. His fur was shaggy and his muscles were huge and thick. I sucked in a breath, trying to breathe, as I had to gaze up at him. He hunkered down, though, so we were on a closer level.

He whined.

My hand was shaking as I reached out to him. I touched the side of his face, trailing my fingers along his muzzle. He licked my hand and I grinned. I moved a little closer, both of my hands moving over his face and head. His head hung down, a little rumble coming from his throat. I stroked, pulling my fingers through his fur, getting acquainted with the wolf side of him. Nervously, I leaned in and pressed my lips to his head. I felt his nose poke me in the thigh.

I pulled away and saw him motioning his head back and looking at me. I was confused for a minute. Then realization dawned on me as he motioned toward me, then himself. "You want me to climb on your _back_?" I gasped.

He gave a coughing bark, his wolf eyes looking light and playful.

"Jake, I can't. I'll fall off," I protested. The idea was slightly tempting, though.

He shook his head and poked me in the side with his nose.

"How do I hold on? Yank at your fur?"

He nodded and rolled his big black eye at me. I sighed. I knew I was going to regret this. "Man, my life is weird," I muttered, clambering awkwardly up onto Jake's back.

When he stood up, I wobbled precariously. I flattened myself on his back, tangling my fingers in the fur at his neck, squeezing his sides desperately with my thighs. "Jake, please don't go too fast," I begged.

He gave a snort and took off at a jog through the woods. A small squeal slipped from my throat, and I flattened myself even more, pressing the side of my face into his neck, while gripping so tight my fingers hurt. His pace increased a little at a time, and I just held on tightly. I was afraid all the tugging would hurt him, but he didn't seem to notice. Then I was afraid the movements of his legs would jolt me from his back. It took some getting used to.

We got into a rhythm and soon he was running, rather than jogging, through the woods. I watched the green of the trees whip by us, little animals scurrying into the brush as Jake flew silently by, and I began to notice the flashes of the ocean in the breaks of the trees. It was oddly comforting; my face pressed into the soft fur, the rolling movement beneath me. The sun appeared as a dot on the horizon – it flashed in the trees in a dizzying whirl of pink and gold.

Jake turned eventually, and I realized I had no idea where we were. He began the run back and I continued to watch the sun climb a little higher in the sky. The wind was blowing my ponytail back, and I caught sight of a blur when I turned my head the other way. My heart banged against my chest, but then I realized Quil and Embry were running as well. A giddy laugh bubbled up and burst forth. Jake finally slowed and then stopped right where we had started. Quil and Embry both halted and they seemed to hold a private conversation. Quil's head tilted back at one point and he gave a small howl.

They turned and disappeared into the forest.

Jake lay down and I tumbled off in a heap, my legs like jelly. Jacob trotted into the trees and a few moments later, came back dressed in cut-off sweats. He had a wide grin plastered on his face, and he laughed at me.

"Jake, that was…… odd. Yet fun," I laughed, my grin matching his.

"I thought you would like that," he said. He reached down and helped me up. He led me to the beach, a spot right at the line of trees.

There was a blanket spread out there with a small cooler. He dropped down onto it, pulling me onto his lap. He wrapped me up in his long arms, and I snuggled into his chest, yawning. "What's all this?" I asked curiously.

He flicked the lid open. There seemed to be a theme. Strawberry pop-tarts, strawberry jam with toast, and strawberries. I couldn't help but laugh. It seemed strawberries excited Jake.

"First things first, though," he whispered. He turned my head to face him and kissed me slowly. Deepening it in increments.

I slid my tongue between his lips, tasting him.

Jake turned us quickly, pressing me flat on my back. I caught a glimpse of the sky lightening further – the pink deepened and now there was red along with the gold streaking the sky. The water sparkled in the light.

Something occurred to me. "Jake. What about Quil? And Embry?" I asked, trying to push him away.

"They're under strict orders to patrol the area, but to stay the hell away from us," he whispered, brushing his lips against mine again.

I wrapped my arms around his neck as our lips mated. His tongue traced the line of my lips. I suckled it into my mouth, my breath coming heavier. His hands stroked my face, moving down to my neck and my chest. His fingers tweaked my nipples. I moaned and arched my back. The thought seeped into my head; it was like the tempting apple to Eve. Jake and I were alone and that was my temptation. He pulled away and I reached out for him. He took my hands and pinned them down next to me.

He nuzzled my stomach. My breathing hitched. God, I wanted to feel this so badly. My shirt hitched up as he kissed his way up my stomach. My muscles were quivering and I wanted to grab hold of him, but my hands were still pinned. I whimpered restlessly. He continued kissing up between my breasts, where I felt him nuzzle his nose against them.

"Jacob," I groaned.

He continued kissing and nuzzling my breasts through my shirt. I was about to tell him to just take my damn shirt off, but I suddenly realized his hands were elsewhere. They were at the waist of my jeans.

I froze for a second, ready to say no.

But I wanted him to touch me.

He had released my hands and I wrapped them around him, one plunging into his soft hair, the other roaming his back. "Yes," I managed to whisper.

He unbuttoned my jeans and inch by inch he lowered the zipper. I felt as if I were hyperventilating. Jacob's face was intent and his breathing was labored as well. I could feel the sweat beading on my forehead. My eyes were focused on a point behind Jacob's head as he kissed the hollow of my throat. The sky was bursting with color. It was a beautiful sunrise.

When his hand inched down past the waistband of my jeans and brushed against the top of me, I stiffened.

"I won't do anything that makes you uncomfortable, Bells," he murmured against my skin. "Just tell me if it does."

He kept his eyes on me as his fingers retreated, then slid over the top of my panties. I nodded wanting more. The rising sun backlit Jacob and I could see the outline of him. He looked huge, his profile sharp; like a sculpted carving. He was still watching me as his fingers moved lower, hitting the spot that made me gasp.

His fingers moved up and down the length of me; my legs spread wider for him.

He increased the pressure, and I felt the give of my panties as he gently pushed his finger against my opening. A moan escaped and I squirmed a little as he gently explored me.

I reached down and my hand slid over the top of his sweats and down, until I bumped into his erection. I bit my lip, watching his expression as I rubbed my hand over him. His eyes darkened and he groaned, leaning down to capture my lips in another kiss.

The kisses were heated. And hungry.

I couldn't believe how good it felt to explore him; to have him explore me. He felt so hot against my hand.

We were both breathing faster as he moved his fingers a little more urgently against me, finally stroking over that nub of flesh that I knew would set me off. He stroked his finger over and around it, moving it faster, stoking the fire in me that was beginning to burn out of control. I arched, grasping his arm with my hand.

I glanced down and felt even more turned on when I saw his tanned arm resting on my stomach, his hand in my pants. "Faster, Jacob..." I panted.

Sweat ran down my neck as I pushed against his hand. Jake licked it off, his tongue stroking over my neck. His fingers moved faster; the heat built, grew, and…

Exploded.

I cried out, my release convulsing my body, as Jacob's lips crashed back onto mine, his tongue plunging in. I barely managed to kiss him back as my body quaked. I was gripping his arm with one hand, the other now in his hair.

As I came back down from my high, I realized Jake was still hard. "Jacob, I didn't…" I started, reaching down for him.

He stilled my hand. "Its okay, Bella. This was for you. "

"Jacob," I protested, but he took my hand and kissed it. "It felt incredible having your hand on me, but I would never be able to concentrate if you kept going."

He rolled over and I laid my head on his chest. My body was still throbbing with the after-effects of my orgasm. I vowed to please Jacob next time. We ate what was in the cooler; I got some of the strawberry jam on my lip and Jake licked it off for me. Satiated, in two entirely different ways, I yawned.

He yawned, too. "You want to go back to the house and take a nap?" he said. I laughed.

"You read my mind." We packed our things up and drove back to Billy's. Billy was up and in the kitchen when we arrived.

He eyed us for a moment, speculating. "Nice morning?" he asked dryly.

I blushed. Did he know? I could never be sure with Billy. Charlie was perceptive at times, but remained steadfastly in the dark, not wanting to know anything. Billy was watchful, though. I never got the impression he missed much and it unnerved me. Jacob was a lot like him in that way. I was essentially an open book when it came to him. And he always seemed to know which page to turn to.

"Took Bells for a little, uh, wolf-back riding," Jake said, laughing. He swiped a couple of the sausages Billy was making. He knew his son, too, because he made extra.

Billy wheeled over to the fridge, laughing. "Was it fun, Bella?"

"It was… interesting." I couldn't help but laugh, too.

"I think we're both going to catch some shut eye. Want us to go in the bedroom so you can watch TV?" Jake asked a teasing grin on his lips.

I punched him in the arm. _Ow._

Billy rolled his eyes. "I'm going to do some carving right here. You can stay in the living room."

As we headed for the living room, I heard Billy mumble "Kids."

I chuckled and settled down on the sofa with Jake. He stretched and flopped onto his back, pulling me with him. I ended up half lying on his chest. I struggled for a moment, not wanting Billy to see us, but realized it was futile. Plus, it wasn't really that bad. So, I nestled my head on his chest and was out within seconds.

************************************************************************

Thunder rumbled in the distance, working its way into my conscious, and I woke feeling a bit groggy. And hot. And incredibly thirsty. I was still sprawled over Jacob and he was still fast asleep. And snoring.

I carefully moved off of him, but his arm tightened around me. "Where are you going?" he mumbled.

"I need a drink," I said.

He groaned and stretched. As he woke up, I made my way to the kitchen. Billy wasn't there; he must have went to his room. I found two cans of coke and grabbed them both.

"We have a few hours until your Dad gets here. Want to go out in the garage for old time's sake?"

I agreed and we hung out in the garage for the afternoon. I sat on his workbench, swinging my legs, watching him work on someone's car. Quil and Embry dropped by, arguing with each other over who won a video game. I wanted to thank them for keeping watch this morning, but I was too embarrassed to. I mean, they were keeping watch while Jake's hand was in my pants. It's not like we needed to address that fact.

Unfortunately, they brought it up.

"So, Bella," Quil said voice innocent and eyes wide, "Looks like you enjoyed your ride this morning. Did you, um, enjoy the rest of your morning?"

"Sure, sure," I managed to mumble, my cheeks hot.

Jake was half under the car, but it didn't stop him from stretching his leg out and kicking Quil. Embry wasn't saying anything, but he had a small smirk on his face. Quil started laughing.

"You just wish you had a good morning," Embry said with a snicker.

Quil punched him in the arm. "Yeah, well, it's not like you got one either."

"It's not like you got one ever."

A minor scuffle ensued and I couldn't hold back a laugh as Quil wrestled Embry into a headlock. Embry swiped his arm against Quil's leg, knocking them both over. Jake rolled out from under the car and threw his empty soda can at Quil's head.

"Will you two morons cut it out?" He was laughing, too. He dodged Embry's punch and rolled his eyes at me.

They finally stop beating on each other and then proceeded to get up, slapping each other's shoulders for getting in a good shot. I just shook my head. _Boys_. The time passed quickly in the garage; I went back and made sandwiches for all of us, and Quil and Embry told us stories while we ate. They told us about a particular thought Sam had about Emily, which caused me to blush again. I was glad when they said Leah hadn't been around; I felt sorry for her.

Before I knew it, Billy and Charlie were calling for us. Quil and Embry left for their respective homes and Jake and I went in for dinner. Charlie had picked up buckets of chicken. We sat around the tiny table and ate. And watched in amazement the amount of food Jake put away.

"Geez, Billy," Charlie muttered. "How the hell do you continue to feed this kid?"

"The kindness of strangers," Billy said with a chuckle.

Jake rolled his eyes. "I'm not done growing yet."

"You should be," Charlie said. "You get any taller, and I won't be able to see your face. You should think about playing basketball; you'd be slam-dunking it constantly. Then you could afford to feed your apparently bottomless pit."

"You're a funny guy, Chief Swan. A real laugh riot," Jake replied, a smirk on his face.

We finished eating, and I helped Jake clean up. Charlie and Billy were in the living room with the sports channel on. Jake took advantage of the fact that we were alone and lifted me so I was sitting on the counter. He placed his hands on either side of me, not touching, and leaned closer.

"Jake," I hissed. But he silenced my protest with a kiss. His lips were soft as they glided over mine. I gave in and laid my hand on his cheek and kissed him back. We still weren't touching, but the kiss deepened. His tongue traced my lower lip, pressing against the seam of my lips a moment later, wanting entry.

I parted my lips and when our tongues touched, I sighed. He tasted sweet and salty. I stroked his tongue with mine, feeling that slow pull in my stomach. I loved the sounds our lips made when they connected and separated, so I pulled back, only to have Jake nip at my lower lip.

A throat cleared.

I tried to move away quickly, but Jake wasn't having any of it. He kissed me one more time, a little more chastely, and then pulled away. I slid off the counter and saw my father – face red and his eyes narrowed.

Jake just smiled slightly. It took a moment, but Charlie's eye stopped twitching and he gave Jacob an annoyed stare. "We'd like to talk to you two," he said, his voice gruff.

All I really wanted to do was hide.

I sat down on the sofa next to Charlie while Jake sat on the floor, leaning back against my legs. "Bells, I wanted to talk to you about tonight."

I made myself meet his gaze. "What about tonight?"

He sighed. "I have to head into Hoquiam tonight for an early morning meeting with the local Police Chief there and the deputies. There have been more issues with attacks and they're calling surrounding counties that have been having problems as well."

My brow furrowed. "More attacks?" I felt Jacob's hand on my foot, trying to soothe me.

"Yeah. They're trying to figure this out, so I need to go. The problem is there is no way I want to leave you alone tonight. I tried to figure this out, but the best place seems to be here." His voice was colored with frustration.

I felt Jacob squeeze my foot. If I wasn't concerned, I would have laughed.

"You aren't doing anything dangerous, are you?" I bit my lip nervously, unsure of how to feel.

"No, honey. Anyway, Billy said it was okay for you to stay here tonight. I'm not entirely pleased with this, but I know you'll be safe here."

Billy cleared his throat. "She will be safe here, Charlie. I'll keep an eye on them."

I tried not to laugh as Charlie struggled with some internal confliction and then rolled his eyes. "Separate bedrooms, understand?"

I groaned in embarrassment. And I felt guilty – considering Jacob and I slept together nearly every night. "Fine, Dad," I mumbled.

He stood up then, glancing at his watch. "I should be heading out. I brought my stuff with, so I'm going to leave and get there before it gets too late."

"Be careful, Dad," I said softly. His face softened and he gave me a quick, one-armed hug. "I will," he said.

After he left, Jacob and I sprawled on the couch and watched television with Billy. I lay there wondering how we were going to do this. I wanted to stay with Jake, but the house was too small to get away with anything. Jake's fingers were stroking my ankle and all I could think about was how those fingers felt in other places.

Billy shifted his chair after awhile. "I'm going to bed, kids."

Jake turned to his father. "Dad? I'd really rather stay with Bella tonight and not sleep in separate rooms. It doesn't mean anything is going on; I just want to keep her company."

I blushed furiously. I couldn't believe he was asking permission to sleep with me! Well, not _sleep_ with me, I amended, just actual sleep.

Billy raised an eyebrow. "Sleep on the couch with her then."

"Can't we just sleep in the bed? The couch isn't exactly comfortable." He was really pushing it.

Billy sighed. "I'm a little more laid-back than Charlie about all this, Jacob, but if you put one toe out of line tonight, you're going to have to deal with him. And his gun."

"Is that a yes?" Jacob said. He could barely disguise his eagerness. I tried not to laugh.

"I don't really want to go against Charlie's wishes, but I'll allow it on one condition. Keep the door open. You know I'm a light sleeper, Jacob, and I'm right across the hall."

After he went to bed, Jacob snickered. "Well, we may not get to do anything tonight, Bells, but at least we can sleep in the same bed and not worry about being caught."

I smiled. Not the most ideal situation, but it would have to do. We stayed up a little while longer, sneaking kisses and caresses. After awhile, Jake stood and yawned. "Bells, I need to go outside and let the guys' know what's going on. I'll be right back, okay?"

He grabbed me one of his t-shirts and gave me an extra toothbrush. I went in the bathroom to brush my teeth and change before he came back. I looked in the mirror. I was pretty much swimming in Jake's t-shirt. It hit right about my knees. "Real attractive," I grumbled to myself.

Jake came in when I was climbing into his bed. "Some of the pack is out tonight; I think one or two of them are going to be near Hoquiam. He said he'll call for me if I'm needed, but nothing seems to be happening. I have to make up for tonight, though, by being out tomorrow night."

I nodded, some of my worry eased over Charlie.

He got ready for bed and then slid into bed next to me. He pulled me up so I was lying on his chest. He kissed the tip of my nose and smiled. "It may not be perfect, but at least you're in bed with me," he whispered, his breath tickling my ear.

I leaned down and kissed him softly. We kept that up, just gazing at each other, kissing. He stroked my hair, my back and once during a particularly tongue-heavy kiss, I felt his fingers graze the backs of my thighs, moving up under his t-shirt.

He didn't push it, though. There was no way we wanted to wake Billy.

We ended up making out for an hour before we both finally fell asleep.

************************************************************************

I woke in the morning, feeling the first soft rays of light filter in through Jake's window and brush over my face. Jake was behind me, wrapped completely around me. I was so content that I started to doze off again.

Suddenly Billy wheeled himself to the door. "Bella? Jacob?" he said. His voice was anxious.

Jake snorted and sat up, startled awake.

Even though I was dressed, I still grabbed for the blanket to cover myself.

Something was wrong. Billy rarely sounded anxious.

Panic raced through me.

"What's wrong?" Jake demanded his voice still thick with sleep.

"Bella, its Charlie. He's in the hospital. All of the cops that went today were in the woods, scouting, and he was attacked. Not by a vampire, but something else. We have to go."

My body froze; the blood drained from my face.

_Oh God. Dad._


	10. Impasse

**A/N: So yes, I am going to beg again for reviews. ;) Authors apparently need their egos stroked! Though I thank all who do take the time to review – I'm very happy for that! I welcome praise, constructive criticism, and ideas even. I can't guarantee anything, but I've gotten a couple ideas from others already! **

**Had this song playing while I was writing the end of this chapter – Ween "Stay Forever" - and it sort of fit for me with Jake about how he feels for Bella. Check it out on YouTube if you want; it's a beautiful song.**

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I was lost, locked inside, afraid to breathe. Charlie shouldn't have to suffer because vampires – and God knows what else – wanted me dead. How was that fair? What did he do to deserve this? My arms and legs felt heavy; I couldn't see anything except Charlie's face. I knew I had to get up, to go to him, but my body wasn't responding to my brain's signals. I was in an endless loop of guilt, of fear, and I couldn't focus.

There was only one thing that could break my focus; I felt the press of Jacob's hands on my face. It penetrated the haze of fear my mind and body were locked in. His face wavered into focus. I could see the messy dark hair framing his face. His full lips were moving – mouthing my name. Those beautiful, dark eyes were full of worry.

I began to hear him. "Bella, honey, snap out of it," he said, shaking me a little.

The worry in his eyes pulled me from the bubble of fear. "Jake," I gasped.

His hands stroked my face, my neck, and he gently pulled me into a quick hug. "Come on, we have to go," he said.

The urgency to see Charlie spurred me into action. I yanked my jeans on, not even bothering to change out of Jake's shirt. Jake was ready, Billy was ready in his chair when I flew into the kitchen.

"I'm going to get Billy into the Rabbit, Bella. Call the hospital. The phonebook is over there," he said quickly, pointing in the direction of a drawer by the telephone.

I wanted to race for the door, but I knew I could not sit for an hour in the car not knowing Charlie's condition. I grabbed the phonebook and flipped through the pages, looking for the hospital in Hoquiam. My hands were shaking so badly, I could barely turn the pages. What if we were too late? I kept trying to tell myself to calm down; we had no idea yet of the seriousness of the attack. My vision blurred and I gripped the counter, sucking in a deep breath.

_No panicking. It won't help._

I found the number and dialed the hospital. A receptionist answered, sounding bored.

"My father is in the hospital there. Can you connect me to who I need to speak with? His name is Charles Swan." My voice was husky, pained.

There was a shuffling sound. "I'll connect you to the nurse's station. Please hold," she said in her monotone voice.

I waited what seemed like forever. "Hello?" another bored voice said.

"I need to find out about my father. His name is Charles Swan. He was admitted this morning?"

More paper shuffling. I was ready to scream.

"Yes, there is a Charles Swan listed here. He's being examined right now."

"But is he okay?" My voice had taken on a pleading sound. "Please."

The nurse's voice was a little softer, more sympathetic. "I don't know much, hon. I caught a glimpse as he was brought in – looked pretty banged up. He was asking for Bella. Is that you?"

I nearly collapsed on the floor. My throat was aching from the press of tears. "Yes. I'm on my way. Thank you!" I hung up and flew out the door.

Jake had finished getting Billy settled, and I catapulted myself into the backseat as Jake peeled out of the driveway. "Did you find anything out?" Billy asked, worry tingeing his voice.

"Not much. She just said he was pretty banged up and was asking for me."

We lapsed into silence as Jake flew down the highway. The tears began forming again in my eyes, but I struggled to fight them back. My throat continued to ache from it. I glanced up at one point and met Jacob's eyes in the rearview mirror. He was watching me, his brows pulled together. I wanted to touch him so badly; I wanted the comfort he could give me. I sniffed quietly and I saw his hand slide back along the console. My smile wobbled; he knew me so well. I reached forward and laid my hand in his. He gently squeezed my hand, holding onto me for a few precious minutes.

The time seemed to drag as we drove toward Hoquiam. My mind wouldn't settle down; I wanted to see Charlie so badly, and I kept picturing him in the woods, not knowing what was going on. I swallowed hard. What on earth had attacked him if it wasn't a vampire? A dim recollection of last night came to my mind as we drove into the city. Jacob had said a couple pack members had been in Hoquiam – I assumed to keep an eye on Charlie. Were they there when this happened? I couldn't imagine they had been taken by surprise, though if it wasn't a vampire, I guess that was a possibility.

My thoughts were cut short when we reached the hospital. I practically flew from the car.

"Go Bella," Jake said. "I'll get Billy out and catch up to you. Go see Charlie."

I grasped his hand once and then ran into the hospital. The thought flitted through my mind - as I ran toward any kind of desk where someone could point me in the right direction – that at least I could actually run now without falling. For the most part.

I was breathless as I reached the reception desk. "Please," I managed to gasp. "Can you tell me where my father is? Charles Swan."

The woman at the desk gaped at me for a second and then checked the computer. "Charles Swan…" she murmured. I kept shifting my feet anxiously, ready to jump over the desk to help her. As I began to seriously consider that, she found him. "He's on the 3rd floor. Room 331."

I waved my hand in thanks as I rushed down the hall to find an elevator or the stairwell. Sideswiping a middle-aged woman, I hurried to the steps next to the bank of elevators and hurried up the steps to the third floor. There was a stitch in my side as I reached the floor I wanted. Apparently I needed more practice with Jake and the pack as I tried to slow my breathing.

My breathing under control, I found Room 331 and the door was opening just as I went to go in. A nurse came out and we nearly collided.

"Whoa, wait a minute," she said. Her brown hair was in a no-nonsense bun and she had a firm set to her lips. So help me, if she tried to stop me from going in there…

"My father is in there," I said, my voice cracking.

Her expression softened. "Bella?"

"Yes," I whispered, nerves sending my heart fluttering like the wings of a bird.

"He's a bit beat up, honey. But he should be fine."

"Thank you," I whispered gratefully, struggling not to cry. I had to be strong for Charlie.

She laid a hand on my shoulder and then left me to walk into his room. I eased the door open and carefully peeked around the corner, scared of what I would see. The light was harsh; fluorescent. The room had that faint sickly-sweet scent to it. My eyes took in all the white.

White was everywhere.

White reminded me of nothingness.

The bed was white, narrow, and my eyes landed on Charlie in the bed. His face was also white; leeched of color. His slightly curly hair was sticking out on one side; the other side of his head was bandaged. In white. His lips looked dry. Was he thirsty? He wasn't a very big man, but he looked so small in the bed. My eyes trailed down to his hand resting at his side and I swallowed hard at the sight of the I.V. The cord trailed up to a machine that gave a soft beep.

His face was a little cut up and bruised. His arm was resting on his stomach, wrapped in a sling. I pressed my lips together. His eyes opened then and widened when he saw me. "Bella?" he croaked.

The sound of his voice and the bruises threw me back into my childhood for a moment.

Back to playing on the beach with Renee and Charlie; Charlie yelling at me to slow down as I ran around. I nearly always fell, too. I remembered how he would pick me up and they would both kiss the inevitable cut or bruise I suffered.

"Dad," I whispered, practically running in my haste to get to him.

Being careful of his arm, I lay my head on his chest. The tears finally began to fall.

"Oh sweetheart," he said, his voice a little choked. "I'll be okay. Don't cry."

I could barely breathe.

He stroked my hair with his good hand and let me cry it out. When the tears began to ebb, I just lay there listening to his heart beat. It was comforting. I heard movement outside the door and knew Billy and Jacob were out there. The door cracked open and I waved them in.

"Billy! Jake!" Charlie said, surprised.

Jake wheeled Billy over next to the bed and pulled up a chair next to me. "We had to make sure you were okay, old man," Billy said. His tone was light, but the worry was evident in his dark eyes.

"Dad, what happened?" I whispered.

He sighed, closing his eyes. "It was an impromptu decision to go in the woods this morning. There were about seven of us that went in to look for clues, because there had been an attack a day or so ago. We figured it wouldn't be too unsafe during the morning and with a bunch of us…"

His voice trailed off. He shook his head and continued. "We weren't far from each other. I was taking a scraping off of one of the trees. I heard nothing; saw nothing. I could hear some of the guy's talking actually, so it amazes me no one saw anything. It felt like some kind of an animal. It sounded like one. I felt something gash open my leg, and I hit a tree head-first. It grabbed hold of my arm and started pulling me and then rather suddenly, it disappeared."

I peeked toward Jake. His brow was furrowed. "It was an animal?"

"Yeah, I think so, but it felt like it was doing it deliberately. That doesn't make sense, though. I think I need more pain meds," he said with a wince.

I pressed the intercom quickly; and moments later the same nurse appeared. "Is it time for more meds, Chief Swan? I think you're just about due."

"Will he be released soon?" I asked as she got his medication.

"I'll get the doctor for you, and he can fill you in on the details," she said, giving me a professional smile.

When she left, Charlie shifted around in bed. "This damn bed is uncomfortable," he muttered. Jake easily shifted him so he was sitting a little more upright.

The doctor came in then with a clipboard. "Well, Chief Swan, I do believe we will be releasing you." We all breathed a sigh of relief. "We monitored you for a few hours and the concussion seems to be minor. Plenty of rest, no driving, no alcohol, and you should be on the mend in no time."

He smiled at me then. "Are you Bella? That was the only thing he said when he was brought in." I saw Charlie's face redden out of the corner of my eye.

I nodded, giving him a shaky smile in return. He handed me a bag with Charlie's medication. "He can take the medication on his own – just stick to the directions on the bottle," he instructed.

He signed a couple forms and before I knew it, Jake was wheeling Billy outside while I wheeled Charlie. The drive home was quiet – I could see Charlie was exhausted. The drive home went by quickly, each of us lost in our thoughts. When we finally reached Forks, I could visibly see Charlie relax. Jake helped him out of the car, and I winced as I watched Charlie limp to the door.

We got him settled on the couch where he immediately lay down and began to doze off. I felt a wave of sadness seeing him so beaten down. And anger at whatever had attacked him. Jake and I slipped into the kitchen. "Jacob…" I whispered. He just wrapped his arms around me and I burrowed into him.

"I'll talk to Sam. I'll find out what happened and call you later." He pressed his lips to the top of my head. "And I have to patrol tonight; I think Paul is taking over for me around two in the morning."

"Will you still come afterward?" I asked, not wanting to let him go.

"If it's not too late and you still want me to."

"Yes," I said simply. He tilted my chin up and kissed me softly.

After they left, I got what I could prepared of Charlie's favorite dish – beef stroganoff – for dinner. I also made him a sandwich and labeled it "lunch" since I had school the following day. After that I went upstairs and stripped his bed and re-made it with clean sheets. I got everything out that he would need for tonight and tomorrow morning. I did a little surface cleaning and then dropped onto my bed, more than a little tired.

I woke some time later, surprised I managed to fall asleep and not dream.

When I woke, it was close to dinner time, so I went downstairs to finish preparing dinner. I peeked in at Charlie – he had the television on, but seemed to be drifting in and out. The phone rang while the beef was sautéing.

"Hello?"

"Hey Bells." His voice never failed to make me smile.

"Jacob. Did you find anything out?"

He sighed. "Not a whole lot. It was Jared and Embry who were in Hoquiam last night. They said that nothing smelled off when they were checking around last night and early this morning. It apparently happened really fast. They said whatever it was – it wasn't a vampire."

"They were actually about to leave right before it happened, but they both said that suddenly something _felt _off, which is why they ran back to help Charlie. They missed it; they said it just disappeared so fast. So, it doesn't sound like it was just a random animal attack."

I tried to process that. What the hell was out there besides vampires and werewolves? I felt the tickle of fear at the base of my spine, causing the hairs to rise on the back of my neck.

"They're both really sorry, Bella," Jacob said, his voice soft.

"Oh Jake, make sure they know I don't blame them. I wish it turned out differently, obviously, but in no way should they think I'm mad at them. Please tell them that, Jake!"

"I will. How's Charlie doing?"

"He slept for quite awhile. He has ESPN on, but he seems to be dozing in and out. I'm going to get him up for dinner soon, though."

"Good idea. Well, I better get moving. I have some work in the garage to do and then I'll be patrolling. I'll be there when I'm done, Bells, as fast as possible."

I smiled as we hung up and went back to finish dinner. I prepared a salad and the sauce. While the pasta was cooking, I went in and woke Charlie. I helped him sit up, trying not to wince as I saw him struggle a little bit with his leg. I set up a tray for him and brought dinner in.

"Oh, this smells amazing, Bells," he murmured. "Thank you," he added, looking a little uncomfortable.

We ate in silence. I could tell he wasn't in the mood for conversation. I cleaned up afterwards and kept him company in the living room until he was ready to go upstairs. I pretty much ignored the show he turned on; my thoughts were on what attacked him. I guess I shouldn't have been surprised there could be other things out there when I dated a vampire and was currently dating a werewolf. It just sounded worse to me because this sounded like a premeditated attack on my father.

I was pulled out of my thoughts when Charlie yawned and started to get up. "Here Dad, let me help," I said. He waved me off, but he was struggling. His leg must really be bothering him. I ignored his protest and took hold of his good arm. He gave a grumpy sigh, but let me help him to the steps. He made his way upstairs slowly. I got changed and ready for bed. I was just heading into my room when he called out to me. "Bells?"

I pushed open his door a crack. "Yeah, Dad?"

"Could…" he seemed to struggle with what he wanted to say. "Could you help me change this bandage? I can't bend over far enough to do it."

He was sitting on the edge of his bed, looking tired and horribly cranky. I didn't say anything, just leaned down and carefully peeled the bandage off his leg. My stomach did a slow roll when I saw the gash. I swallowed hard, willing myself to stay upright. I tried not to look at the raw skin pulled together with black thread. I swallowed hard again and breathed shallowly.

Charlie was too distracted by his incapability to notice my reaction. "Damn headache. Damn back won't even let me bend over."

I glanced up at him after I put a new bandage on, my breathing back to normal. "Dad," I chided. "Come on, you've been hurt. This is what we do for each other. Help out."

He smiled slightly. "Thanks Bells."

I headed back out into the hall, but turned to look at him. "I'm really glad you're okay. Don't scare me like that again."

He saluted me and I closed his door. I had no desire to do anything else, so I just crawled into bed. I just wanted to sleep until Jacob came. I couldn't settle down; every little shadow on the wall caused me to jump. Every noise made my heart pound.

_All I could hear was panting. Low. Deep. I tried to hold still, but it seemed to echo off the surrounding trees. The fear had frozen me and now imminent doom caused me to flee. I couldn't hear anything following me – except for the panting._

"_JACOB!" I screamed. _

"Hey, hey, Bella… shh, it's okay! I'm here!"

I snapped to when Jake's voice penetrated my haze. I was gasping for air. Jake was kneeling by my bed, his hand stroking my hair, my face.

"Are you okay?" he whispered. His eyebrows were mashed together in concern.

"I think so," I whispered back. He got into bed with me and wrapped his long arms around me. In the protective circle of his arms, I relaxed. I wanted to stay awake and talk to him, but I was so groggy. I could barely keep my eyes open.

"Go back to sleep, Bella, its okay," he murmured. He kissed me softly, repeatedly, until I curled into his heat and drifted off.

************************************************************************

Jake woke me as usual before he left. I didn't want to let him go, I barely got to see him or talk to him. I knew he was working after school today, too. I reluctantly let go so I could get ready for school.

I got downstairs a little early and made eggs and bacon for Charlie before I left. I heard him coming slowly down the steps as I gathered my books and bit into my pop-tart. "Dad, breakfast is done. Lunch is in the fridge. Call me if you need anything. I'll be home the normal time since I don't have to work today."

He shook his head at me. "You're amazingly efficient for an eighteen year old. Thanks Bella." I could see the dark circles under his eyes; looked like Charlie didn't do that well with sleeping last night either. I gave him a reluctant good-bye wave and left.

School kept me busy, fortunately. The year was winding down and the prep work for our finals had begun. I was thankful it was nearly over. All the teachers kept us busy and the day went by in a blur. I was glad I took plenty of notes – I wasn't sure if anything had really sunk in during lectures; I was tired and trying not to think of panting animals in the woods.

Jake would come over after dinner whenever he could that week. I didn't want to leave Charlie alone just yet. He continued to come to my room late at night as well. I was always asleep when he came, so he would kiss me goodnight and I would kiss him goodbye in the morning. It was becoming very frustrating. We couldn't spend any time together and he was pretty quiet when he did come by in the evening. By the time Thursday came, Charlie was moving around easier. Sue Clearwater had stopped by to see how Charlie was doing with a covered casserole dish.

"Hon," she said, giving me an understanding smile. "Why don't you go down to La Push and visit Jake for a little while? I'll stay here with Charlie."

"I don't need a babysitter," Charlie commented from the living room.

Sue rolled her eyes at me. "How about some company?" He mumbled his consent and I took that as my opportunity to leave.

I made it to La Push in record time. I knocked, shifting impatiently. Billy opened the door. "Bella! I haven't seen you in a while. How's Charlie?"

"He's getting better. And crankier. Sue is staying with him, so I thought I'd make a break for it."

He laughed. "Well, Jake is over at Sam and Emily's. You can head over there."

I did just that. When I pulled up and walked to the door, I heard raised voices coming from inside. I froze with my hand in mid-air, about to knock.

"I'm not sure why this is coming up _now_, considering she and Jake have been dating for a little while," Embry's voice drifted out the window.

They were talking about me and Jake?

"It's because of Quil," Sam interjected. "We're just worried about Jake if he imprints. He and Bella are inseparable. This pack has the largest amount of imprinting in history. Think what this would do to them."

"Like you and Leah?" Seth's voice was sad. Apparently, Leah's little brother knew what had transpired.

I couldn't move from the step. Was Jake in there?

"That's apparently what they are worried about." Jake's voice was cold. "I don't need to imprint. I'm _with_ the girl I'm meant to be with."

"It doesn't always work that way, Jake," Jared commented.

"Well, what do you suggest?" Jake's husky voice held a warning.

Everyone was silent.

"We don't want to see either of you get hurt," Sam finally said.

"There is no way in hell I'm leaving her. I can't, Sam. It's physically impossible." Jake's voice had turned soft, pleading.

I heard footsteps behind me and whirled around. Paul stepped out of the shadows. His face was inscrutable. "Well, Bella. You're causing quite a stir in there." He leaned against the side of the house.

Paul always made me uncomfortable. I didn't believe he was a bad guy, even though he had tried to attack me a number of months back. He just put me on edge. His eyes narrowed as he eyed me.

"It's not like I'm not happy for the two of you, but maybe Jake shouldn't be dating." His face wasn't malicious. I don't think he meant to hurt me, but somehow that made it worse.

I felt the first pinpricks of pain.

Doubts ran through my mind. What if I _should_ stay away from Jake? Could I? I knew the answer to that was a resounding no. Our lives, our souls had become so intertwined the last couple of months that I had no idea anymore where he began and I ended. It would be like severing off a limb. My mind reeled at the thought of not being able to be with him. He was my light.

My own personal sun.

The boy who laughed hard, gave me warm soda, kissed me like there was no tomorrow, and held me when I was falling apart. He put me back together.

I nodded mutely at Paul and turned away, back toward my truck. I felt the sting of betrayal – I thought I had been accepted by them, but maybe I was too hasty in believing that. I dimly realized it had gone quiet in the house again.

"Bella?" Jacob's voice came from the open doorway, panicked.

He caught up to me as I reached the truck.

I barely had time to think before he had me pushed up against the truck, his hands in my hair, and his mouth on mine. His lips were persistent, pushing mine apart. I kissed him back, realizing he needed this. He had heard what Paul said and was afraid of losing me. My stomach ached at the thought and I wrapped my arms around him. The kiss wore me out emotionally. I didn't want Jake to be hurt; that was my only worry.

I glanced up and saw that everyone disappeared back into the house – to give us privacy.

"I'm sorry you had to hear that. And sorry that Paul can be such an insensitive donkey's ass," he tacked on, irritation obvious in his voice.

"Jake, what is going on with Quil?"

He sighed and leaned against the truck. "Quil imprinted. That makes three now." His voice was pained as he stared off into the woods.

I swallowed hard. Another pack member imprinted? Hadn't he said this was rare? It brought back all the unsettling feelings I had about this happening to Jake. Fear and pain twisted my stomach into knots. I wanted to be strong, to be brave, but it was hard to do that when I wanted him to stay with me. The pain of losing someone again was something that I wasn't sure I could handle again. I reached down and hugged my middle, huddling against the truck.

Jake noticed, because suddenly he had the truck door open and was pulling me onto his lap in the driver's seat. We didn't say much at first, he just held me. I rested my forehead against his neck and breathed in the scents that were such a comfort to me.

Pine needles. And rain. And sometimes he smelled of cinnamon.

I kissed his neck and pulled back. "Who did Quil imprint on?" I asked quietly.

He sighed. "It's going to sound very strange to you, Bella."

I frowned in confusion.

"It's Emily's niece, Claire."

I didn't get it. I pulled back to look at him. "How is that strange?"

He wouldn't meet my eyes. "Well, Claire is two," he murmured.

I froze, my eyes widening in shock. "Two??" I exclaimed. How could that be? That was just… wrong.

He frowned at me. "It's not like that, Bella. Quil will be whatever she needs him to be in different stages of her life. Since she's so young, his feelings are like if he was her big brother. Then maybe at one point she would need a friend and that's how it would be for him. Then when she's old enough, he would be her lover, her mate."

This imprinting was confusing.

"Jake, since imprinting keeps happening, does that mean…?" I couldn't bring myself to finish the question.

His jaw tightened. "You are the only one I want, Bella."

I stared out the truck window, watching the trees swaying in the rain-driven wind. The clouds scuttled across the sky, growing darker as night crept closer. The rain was a soft drizzle and it chilled me as the drops hit my legs. The moon was barely visible, a fingernail hanging in the sky.

"Am I holding you back?" I pondered softly, my eyes still watching the sky. "I don't think I have the strength to let you go, but Sam certainly seems worried about us being together. Maybe he wants you to stay away from me so you're free to imprint."

My hands instinctively tightened around his neck, though. Just the idea was enough to have me gasping for air at the thought of losing Jacob to some nameless, faceless girl.

His hands were shaking, the vibration moving up his arms. His jaw was so tight and his eyes so angry. And so sad.

"Bella, don't even think you are holding me back. You keep me going; keep me fighting so in the end I can be with you with no worries."

"You shouldn't have to worry. Maybe you're better off without me." My lips sought out his jaw, nuzzling into him. My actions were a huge contradiction to what I was saying. I wanted him to be happy, to not have his life be constantly threatened, so my weak attempts to tell him maybe he was better off without me were needless, because I couldn't stop touching him. I didn't think I could go on without him.

He twined his fingers in my hair, pulling my head back. His eyes were angry. "Bella, I love you. I have held back in saying that, not sure if you were ready to hear it, but you're starting to piss me off. Stop trying to give me an out. You aren't convincing anyone, least of all me, because you just keep holding on to me. I don't want anyone but you. I'm too in love with you."

In many ways, I knew that Jacob loved me, but to hear him say it… well, it hit me hard. This made it more difficult. I couldn't say it back yet and didn't he deserve better than that? Someone who was whole and could tell him she loved him? My body was warring with my lying words – thinking he was better off without me even as I pressed myself closer to him. The tears slid down my cheeks, pouring out my lies, to drip in little shining rivulets down his chest.

His eyes were pained as he tilted my chin up. "Bella…" he moaned. His lips sought mine. The kiss was gentle. Soft.

The glow of the moon got brighter as the clouds shifted. It lit up Sam and Emily's little house, and I could see them in the tiny window that looked into their living room. He usually looked so stern and unyielding when I saw him, but with her laughing at something, dark hair swinging, his face appeared soft. Loving. It made me sad seeing someone love so easily without complications. I envied them.

I looked back at Jake, the moon's glow causing his dark hair to shine, to illuminate his defined features. To think I once told him he was sort of beautiful – he was indescribably beautiful.

"Does the pack hate me for being here? With you? It seems Sam doesn't like the idea of us."

His dark eyes were expressive. I could clearly see the anger in them. "No, Bella. Paul's an insensitive prick and Sam is a pushy pain in the ass. But no one hates you."

As if on cue, Embry and Seth came trotting out of the house. I shifted off of Jake's lap, uncomfortable. I didn't really know what to think anymore.

"Bella," Embry said. He reached out and gently tugged on my hair. "Look, we all have our concerns. We love Jacob – he's our brother – but we care about you, too. We don't want to see either of you hurt." He shifted a little uncomfortably. "I just wanted you to know that."

I smiled gratefully at him.

Seth piped in. "I liked you from the beginning, Bella. I want you both happy." His smile was so innocent and sweet. "Don't worry about the guys; they like you, too, it's just a difficult subject."

I felt the urge to kiss his cheek, so I stretched up and did just that. His dark skin was tinged with a blush. After they went back in, Jake took my hand and tugged me against him.

"Jake, I don't know if I can reciprocate and say the words for you. At least not yet," I said. It made me sad to say that, but he needed to know.

He nodded thoughtfully. "I can say it enough for the both of us. I love you, Isabella Swan."

I lay my head on his chest, the two of us standing in a puddle of the moon's light. This issue would not be resolved tonight, I knew, as I stood wrapped in Jake's arms. I wouldn't release him, but I thought he deserved better. He loved me and thought he deserved me.

We were at an impasse.


	11. Preparation

**A/N: Just wanted to thank my anonymous reviewers, Allie and Rebekah (sweet words, thank you!) since I can't send notes to them. **

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I had left La Push without going back into Sam and Emily's house to say goodbye that night. I knew deep down that what they had said wasn't meant to hurt my feelings, but I just wasn't ready to face anyone yet. It was already Friday and I was trying to prepare for finals starting on Monday. Graduation was looming and I had to buckle down. I also wanted to be caught up so I could see Jake over the weekend.

I finished my Calculus with a groan of thanks. I went downstairs and began making fried chicken for dinner. Charlie came in with an appreciative sniff and set the table. He seemed to be feeling better – his leg still bothered him on occasion, and he was mighty annoyed with his arm in a cast, but he was back at work on desk duty. The cuts and bruises on his face had either healed or were still healing. There were a few yellowish bruises left over.

We sat down to eat and I couldn't help but notice that Charlie kept shooting glances in my direction. What was he up to?

"What is it, Dad?" I asked, biting into a piece of chicken.

He looked surprised. "What do you mean?"

I rolled my eyes. "I can see you keeping glancing at me. What is it?"

He poked at the chicken on his plate with his fork. "I was just wondering… well, um, are you going to your senior year prom?"

I froze with my fork halfway to my mouth.

Prom? I went to prom last year. The memory of it twisted my stomach a little. I had decided that I wanted to be a vampire and thought that was the night it would happen. And I was with Edward. Even if I was into going again, I wasn't sure it would be a good idea. I couldn't ask Jacob to go with me when the memories of going with Edward would assault me. Plus, I wasn't sure Jake would be that into going to a dance at my school.

"I doubt it," I mumbled.

"Why not?" He was being awfully nosy.

"I went to prom last year; I don't need to go again this year," I muttered.

"It's your senior year, Bella."

I sighed. "Dad, you know I'm not into going to dances. I went once; that was enough."

He rolled his eyes, but stayed quiet. Thankfully. I cleaned up after dinner and went upstairs to change into sweatpants and a t-shirt. Jake was coming over here tonight before patrolling. I was disappointed, and worried, because he had to patrol all night. The all-night patrols were going strong lately. Sometimes Jake would be able to stop in halfway through the night, but not always. I missed having him there when I fell asleep.

I booted up my computer and sent an email to Renee – it had been awhile. Graduation was coming up so fast, and I was hoping she would be able to make the trip to Forks with Phil. I really missed her. There was a knock at the door and I hit send on the email and ran down the steps – with my hand on the banister since I wasn't _that_ coordinated yet – and toward the door. I nearly plowed Charlie over.

He rolled his eyes and I tried not to laugh as I yanked the door open. Jake stepped inside and immediately wrapped me up in his arms before I had a chance to say anything. As was tradition now, I gasped for air and he loosened his hold. I could hear Charlie muttering to himself as Jacob leaned down and kissed me. It sounded like he said hormones.

"No bedroom," Charlie called from the living room.

I sighed. "Come on, Dad. How about if I just leave the door open?"

He muttered some more. "Fine. You better leave it open; I'll be checking."

Jake scooped me up and flew up the stairs. "Jake!" I cried as he tossed me on the bed. I couldn't help laughing; he was rather charged tonight and I was feeling the same way.

"Behave yourselves!" Charlie ordered from the bottom of the steps. I muffled my laughter in my pillow as Jake flopped down next to me, a grin on his face.

"Hi," he whispered with his sunny smile in place.

I leaned over and kissed him. He nipped my lower lip and proceeded to slide his tongue over it. I sighed contentedly wishing we could just continue to lie here like that, but I knew Charlie would come up to check on us at least once, so I pulled away. He sat on the floor at the foot of the bed, his head resting on my bed.

I pulled my fingers through his hair, playing with the soft, glossy strands. He sighed in response, closing his eyes. I could feel the heaviness of what we agreed not to talk about in the air. I was still scared of what could happen, but I could barely bring myself to think about stopping this. There was too much at stake. My heart and Jacob's heart. Deep down I knew I was getting in deeper, knew my feelings had continually been shifting and changing for Jacob. I shied away from expressing anything, though.

I lay on my stomach, looping my arms around his neck and laying my head on his shoulder.

Jake yawned. "Bells?" he questioned, his voice sounding a little… shy?

"Yeah?" I turned my face toward his and kissed his neck.

He reached an arm up and curled his hand around the back of my neck, holding me there. I kissed him again. "I heard that Forks High is having their, um… their prom soon." He sounded kind of awkward now.

Prom again?

"Um… yeah, they are," I said. I tried to distract him by nibbling on his earlobe.

I was rewarded with a throaty rumble. It distracted him for a whole five seconds.

"Did you, um, plan to go?" he asked me.

I refrained from sighing. I didn't want to hurt his feelings. "I wasn't really planning on it."

He was quiet. I had a feeling I knew what he was thinking. I circled my arms a little tighter around him as he shifted on the floor. "Jake," I whispered. "It has nothing to do with you. I swear. I did the prom last year, as you know, and I don't want to subject myself to… well…" I trailed off, a twinge of pain catching me off guard.

"Dancing," I added lamely. We both knew what I meant. I felt terrible for it. "And it's not fair to do that to you either. I would rather spend the evening with just you. That's more important to me than having to make small talk and sharing you with everyone else there."

That seemed to relax him. And it was the truth. I resumed kissing him, trailing my lips along his jaw line. He turned toward me, capturing my lips with his. I smiled as I nestled my cheek against his shoulder and kissed his warm, soft lips. I stroked my fingers up and down his chest as the kiss grew a little more… moist. His tongue was stroking the inside of my mouth languidly.

We broke apart just as Charlie appeared in the doorway. He narrowed his eyes at us. "You two behaving?" he growled, a blush coloring his cheeks. It continued to embarrass the both of us, yet he continued to try and keep an eye on us. My cheeks began to flush a bit.

"I'm just kissing her, Charlie. That's okay, isn't it?" Jake asked a cheeky grin on his face. I muffled the giggle rising against his shoulder.

Charlie gave an annoyed grunt at Jake's teasing, but he muttered that it was fine as he turned and beat a hasty retreat. I laughed as I smacked his chest. "You shouldn't harass him."

He smiled and played with my hair as it draped down over his chest. "Bells… how about we compromise on the whole prom thing?"

We were still on that? I furrowed my brow. "How so?"

"How about it just be me and you at my house? I'll figure something out with Billy; you know he's not quite as perturbed as Charlie about all of this. You should get dressed up for it, like we're really going, we'll have something to eat, we'll dance, and then I'll get you away from prying eyes so I can feel you up."

I snickered. "Typical teenage prom antics."

He grinned. I could see it meant a lot to him, so I agreed. One night of dressing up for Jacob to make him happy would be worth it. We continued to talk, to sneak kisses, until Charlie told Jacob it was time to leave. It was going to be a long night, I thought, as I glanced at the clock after he left. I sighed and climbed into bed, pulling the covers over my head.

************************************************************************

The week had nearly done me in with all the finals I had. I had flown through my English and Biology final, but the rest weren't as easy. I muddled through, though, and I hoped I did well enough to actually _go_ to college.

Before I knew it, it was the night before my "prom." _Oh crap. I didn't even think about a dress!_ I started pawing through my closet, knowing I was extremely short on dresses. A sliver of blue peeked out of a garment bag near the back of my closet. I tugged the zipper down and was hit with a painful memory. It was the dress I had worn for last year's prom. The dress that Edward told me I looked beautiful in.

I swallowed hard. Blindly, I pushed it aside and dove deeper into the recesses of my closet. I pulled another garment bag out; one that apparently I had forgotten about. I opened it and remembered. It was the dress my mother and I had compromised on when she married Phil in Mexico. I smiled a little at the memory of us in the department store trying to find a dress. She kept picking these strapless or low-cut dresses with way too much of my legs exposed. I kept picking ankle-length with wide straps that didn't show much of anything. We settled on this shiny dark-green dress that was simple in design. It was gathered a bit around the bust – which enhanced my chest as my mother so calmly told me – and arrowed down into a simple clip that looked like a diamond. The dress fell close to my calves. We also compromised on the straps – they had them, but they were the spaghetti straps. I dug around on the floor and found the silver ballet flats. No heels for me, especially if I was going to be outside.

I pulled it out and noted it needed to be ironed.

I got everything ready for tomorrow night and then proceeded to study for my Calculus final. I went downstairs and heated up some leftover casserole for Charlie and me and made a salad. We both ate quickly. He was anxious to watch the game and I wanted to finish studying. I took my test the next day and suffered through gym yet again. Lunch time was a bit of an uproar. People were going on about prom that night, chattering about graduation, colleges, and there were even some tears as couples promised each other they would stay together.

I didn't participate much, except to insert a random comment here and there when questioned. I kept getting asked the question if I would be at prom tonight. I told them I had plans with Jake, but we wouldn't be there.

"Oh?" That was all Jessica said, but there was way too much meaning in it for me to be comfortable.

"We are just going to spend time at his house; have dinner together," I said quietly. I didn't feel like explaining that I was dressing up as if we were going to prom. I knew she wouldn't get it.

"Sounds a little… unexciting," Lauren said a bit too snidely.

"I think it sounds nice. Kind of your own private prom," Angela interjected. I smiled at her. I should have known she would get it.

"Yeah, private time with the guy you're dating; well, let's just say that's a _good_ thing!" Jessica said as she and Lauren laughed, casting little looks at me.

My cheeks had warmed and I gazed down at my hot dog in silence. "Back off," Angela said to them. She didn't have to say anything else. Everyone looked at her in surprise and got quiet. When they resumed talking, I felt her take my hand under the table and give it a squeeze.

I squeezed back and looked up to mouth my thanks to her.

When school was over, I worked a couple hours at Newton's, but left early since Mrs. Newton knew I had plans tonight. Mike stayed quiet during the time I was there. I hurried home and took out the prepared meatloaf I had defrosting in the fridge for dinner. I grabbed a potato and scrubbed it and got it ready for the microwave.

After I stuck the meatloaf in the oven, Charlie came home. "You should be getting ready, shouldn't you, Bells?" he said, glancing at the clock. I glanced too; it was only six o'clock, but I needed to shower. I agreed and figured I had time to shower at least before the meatloaf was done.

I got in the shower, letting the heated water pound away the nerves. I scrubbed my hair with the strawberry shampoo, since Jake now had a thing for strawberries. I smiled at that recollection. I got out of the shower and wrapped myself in a towel. I headed into my room, scrubbing my hair dry. I dressed quickly in sweats and a t-shirt. As I pulled the ironing board out of the closet, I couldn't help wondering how Jake was working this out with Billy. And what was he doing for food? I glanced out the window; at least the forecast seemed to be correct. There were plenty of clouds, as usual, but it wasn't raining.

I heard the timer on the oven and went downstairs to finish Charlie's dinner. Even if I _was_ eating, I didn't think I would be able to. I wasn't sure why tonight was different than any other night, but my stomach was jumping all over the place. I went back upstairs and sat on my bed, pondering. I came to the realization that Jacob and I had been heading closer to, well, sleeping together and that had me nervous. Was tonight going to be _the _night? Or not? Suddenly I wasn't even sure if I had fancier underwear than the plain cotton I usually wore. I ransacked my underwear drawer rather frantically and let out a sigh of relief. Thank God for my mother. I saw a couple pairs of lace panties she must have picked up for me.

Billy was going to be there, though. So, if it were to happen, I had no idea _where_ it would happen.

I felt my cheeks warm at how he had touched me that one morning, the feelings that had rushed through me, as I felt my body explode. As much as I loved it, though, I was still hesitant about going all the way. It wasn't just a little bit of fear of the unknown, it was just a big deal to me and I had always thought Edward would be the one. I _did _want to be with Jacob that way, though, so my conflicting feelings were pretty strong.

I shook my head and realized I had an hour and a half left until Jake came to pick me up. I was sifting through the paltry make-up selection I had, unsure of what to use and where. As I was gazing at a mascara wand, I heard the doorbell ring and moments later, female voices floated up to me. I peeked out my door toward the steps and heard Charlie.

"Emily! What are you…? I mean, how are you?"

Emily laughed. "I'm good, Chief Swan. Looks like you're healing rather nicely."

"Yeah, I'm feeling much better. And you can call me Charlie."

"Good! Charlie, this is Kim - Jacob's friend Jared's girlfriend."

I was confused as to why they were here, but Charlie directed them upstairs, as I hastily ducked back into my room.

"Hey Bella!" Emily said, knocking on the door.

I bit my lip, glancing down at my sloppy clothes. My damp hair hung in clumps. "Hi Emily. Hi Kim," I replied.

"We thought you might want a little help getting ready," Emily said, grinning at my appearance and my probably more than baffled expression over my make-up selection.

She held up a bag, and so did Kim. "We come bearing more make-up. We don't wear much make-up either, but figured between the three of us we would have a couple choices," Kim said with a smile.

All I could do was nod helplessly. I was clueless; I had no idea what I was doing. And my stomach was still jumping around.

Emily ordered me to fetch a hairdryer and Kim laid all the make-up out on my desk. I was unceremoniously plunked down onto my bed, Emily behind me with the blow-dryer. I was glad for the silence from any chatter as I tried to gather my thoughts. It was nice of them to come and help me out; I probably needed it, considering all I was doing was staring at my make-up. Emily finished blow-drying my hair.

"Do you have a curling iron?" she asked. I nodded and went to drag it out from the cabinet beneath the sink.

"So, Bella," Kim said as Emily plugged it in and let it warm up. "How are things going with Jacob?"

"It's going good," I said, unsure of where this was headed.

Emily pinned the upper layer of my hair on top of my head and began rolling the bottom layer on the curling iron. "We wanted to come here tonight to help you out in getting ready. It's always nice to have another woman around in cases like this," she said.

"But we also wanted to talk to you about what you overheard when you came to see Jake that night."

I swallowed hard.

"Sam is always concerned for the guys' in the pack when it comes to relationships, but he's extra sensitive about it in regards to you and Jacob. I'm sure Jake said that to you; but he went through it with Leah and me."

I could hear the sadness lacing her words.

"It continues to be difficult for him because he and Leah can read each other's minds. He knows every day just how much he hurt her. How we hurt her."

We were all quiet as she continued curling my hair, the only sound in the room the clicking of the iron. I didn't really know what to say; I hadn't had much contact with Leah. I couldn't imagine how hard it was for her to be in love with someone and to lose him to his destiny. It was what scared me since I first learned what imprinting was. Sam's love for Emily was all-encompassing. I glanced in the mirror to the side, seeing just how easy it would be for him to love her. The reddened, ugly scar marred such a beautiful face, but everything about her inside was warmth and love. How could he not love someone who was so genuine?

"Jake loves you so much," Emily said quietly. "It's as powerful as Sam's love for Leah was, maybe even more so."

"I know," I said quietly.

"The guys' were concerned about, well…" Kim trailed off, clearing her throat.

I glanced sideways at her. What else could there be?

"About your feelings for the Cullen's. Especially… you know," she added. She gratefully didn't say his name, but it didn't stop the small, painful tremor.

I tried to clear the lump out of my throat, but no sound came out of my mouth.

"I'm sorry, Bella," Emily said softly. "We don't mean to dredge up any painful memories, but they're worried about Jacob if, well, they came back."

I couldn't fathom why they would. I apparently had ceased to exist for any of them. I had to try and tell Emily and Kim, though.

"Jake knows," I said quietly, speaking around the lump. "He knows a part of me will always miss and love… Edward."

"But he also knows my feelings for him have gotten stronger. I would never do anything to put the pack in jeopardy; my being a target is enough of a danger for them and I hate it. I understand their worry, though. I worry about it, too, but I just… can't leave Jake. I guess I'm selfish, but he makes me happy."

Emily finished my hair and sprayed it with hairspray. She pinned up some of my hair on the sides, and then she laid a hand on my shoulder.

"Are you in love with him, Bella?"

My mouth opened and closed a few times. "I do love him, but… it feels like a betrayal to Edward sometimes." I flinched and felt my cheeks flame a little as I glanced down, certain they would hate me for that. I hated me a little for that.

"Don't be ashamed, Bella. I mean, I can't say I understand, but we feel how we feel. There's no rhyme or reason when it comes to love. If and when the time is right, you'll say it and it will mean something," Kim said.

I nodded absently. They were both shuffling through our combined make-up now. I let my thoughts wander. I had said I love you so easily to Edward; it was as simple as breathing. I wanted to say it to Jake, but I wanted to make sure it was the right time. It felt difficult – but not in the way that I was struggling with how I felt about him. He just deserved it in the right way; the right time. Did that make my love for him truer? Or should it be as simple as breathing? My head was beginning to hurt.

I decided I should just enjoy myself tonight and worry over this another time.

Neither Emily nor Kim would allow me to look in the mirror. The make-up had been selected, and I sat in silence, laughing occasionally at their stories. I closed my eyes, puckered my lips, and generally did what they told me. Kim told us about how enthusiastic Jared got at a particularly intimate moment and how he had ended up falling off the bed. Even though I was embarrassed, I couldn't help but laugh. Though it led to unfortunate questions about me and Jacob.

"So, Bella, have you and Jake…?" Kim asked, her question trailing off, eyebrows raised.

"No," I mumbled. "Not yet."

"Is tonight the night?" Emily asked with a small smile.

I closed my lips over the tissue she held out to blot the lipstick and turned my face away. "I really don't know; I'm not sure if I'm quite ready, though we have…" I stopped talking, realizing I was about to tell them what Jake and I have done.

They both started laughing. "Ah, so it's progressing to that! Don't worry, Bella, when the time is right you'll know."

Finally I was done being poked and prodded at. I only had about twenty minutes left until Jake came, and they both insisted I dress and model for them before he got here. Then I could see how I looked. I was kind of afraid to; the way they brushed, blotted, and fussed, I was thinking I would end up looking like a clown. I took the dress and went into the bathroom. I carefully snuck out my white lace panties, too, just in case. I dressed, avoiding the mirror, and slid my feet into the ballet flats.

I went back into my room and they both sighed. "You look perfect, Bella. Beautiful," Kim enthused.

"Take a look," Emily said, turning me toward the mirror.

I froze in surprise, staring at my reflection. I didn't resemble a clown in the slightest. My face had a soft glow and I could barely tell I was wearing make-up, yet all my features were enhanced. My brown eyes that I always thought looked so boring were nearly shining from the combination of the make-up color and my dress. My cheeks were tinted a soft pink and my lips were also pink. And glossy. Even my eyelashes looked longer. My hair that usually fell in waves was twisted into loose spiraled curls. Emily had pinned up a portion on each side, exposing my ears, but released a curl on each side at my temple to frame my face.

I forgot the dress really did help my chest. Not that I particularly cared so much, but the way the fabric laid made me seem bigger. The dress clung in spots, which I wasn't used to displaying, but at least it wasn't over the top.

"How did you both get so good at applying make-up if you don't wear it much either?" I said idly.

Emily chuckled. "It's always a good thing to know, just in case. Jake is going to go wild with lust."

I blushed. They gathered up their things, wished me luck, and left before Jacob arrived. I stood in my room, trying not to hyperventilate when I heard a car pull up. My heart started banging against my chest. I heard Charlie talking downstairs, and I took a deep breath.

"Bella?" Charlie called. As I was heading down the stairs, I had a bit of déjà vu, but pushed it aside. This was mine and Jake's night.

I tried not to laugh when I saw Jacob's eyes widen as he took in the sight of me. Charlie grinned. I tried not to drool over Jacob. He was wearing black dress pants, and a white buttoned-up shirt, the top two buttons open. No tie or jacket, but then that didn't remind me of Jake. He looked beautiful as he was, the white shirt contrasting nicely with his dark hair and russet skin.

"Wow, Bella. You look gorgeous," he said, his eyes tracing over me.

I saw Charlie look at him, eyes narrowed. A nervous giggle escaped and Jake grinned.

"All right, you two, have fun. I already talked to Billy, but I'll say it anyway… be good. And be home by 10:30."

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. "10:30? Come on, Dad, that's the time you give me for a school night!"

"All right, all right, no later than midnight. I did tell Billy to drink a lot of coffee."

We both laughed at that. "Goodnight Dad," I muttered.

"You do look beautiful, Bella," he said. I smiled my thanks.

As soon as he disappeared back into the living room, Jake held out a small yellow rose with a band. I liked that it wasn't the traditional color.

He slipped it onto my wrist and kept hold of me, tugging me against him. I felt him nuzzle his face into my curls, his lips brushing my ear. I melted into him. "You really do look gorgeous. Perfect. Stunning."

I laughed. "So do you, Jacob. You look amazing when you actually dress." I gave him a cheeky grin, a little surprised at myself. He chuckled and gently nipped at my ear.

The night was pretty close to a perfect Forks night. There were clouds of course, there were always clouds. The moon was a faint haze, and the weather was dry at least. It was still pretty cool out, though, and I wished I would have brought something to cover up. Then I realized it didn't matter as Jake wrapped his arm around me. The heat emanating off of him felt so good. I had my own personal space heater.

In the car, I was wondering what to expect. What had Jake done to set this up with Billy? I felt kind of bad that he had taken this all on himself, and I didn't do much in the way of helping. I moved as close to him as I could, and he rested his hand on my thigh. He began stroking my leg, higher and higher, but not where I began to throb. We barely had started with our night and already he was stoking the fire. I reciprocated, stroking up and down his thigh until he gave a small groan. I grinned to myself.

As we reached La Push, I could see more lights than usual around Billy's house. Jacob parked, turned to me, his hands firmly cupping my face, and kissed me. It was urgent. It was deep. I felt myself melting against him, our mouths opening wider, tongues stroking slowly.

The kisses were so warm. And wet.

"We better get out of here before I pull you into the backseat with me," Jake said, his voice huskier than normal. The way my body responded, it certainly was a major possibility if we stayed in here any longer.

Heart fluttering, stomach jumping, I gripped Jake's hand. With a big grin on my face, we walked toward the lights in the backyard ready for our prom night.

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**A/N: Originally was planning to make this a bit longer, but it would have taken me longer, too. So, I cut it down to include some stuff I wanted (ie: conversation with Emily/Kim) and figured prom could be next chapter. Anyway, link to a dress I saw that I thought might fit for Bella. Link in my profile. .**


	12. Prom

**A/N: R. Carlos Nakai was playing while writing the prom scene. Seems to fit. And nice slices of lemons to enjoy…**

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**JPOV:**

As I intertwined my fingers with Bella's, leading her to my backyard, I felt nervous. I wanted to do this right for her, to have it be a perfect night. No reminders of last year. I took a deep breath to stay calm. It was a good thing I knew her so well. I knew she wouldn't want a big fuss over this. I was at a bit of a loss earlier in the day, though.

I had set up a small white canopy right off the back of our little porch. The weather here was incredibly unpredictable, so that was a necessity. Billy decided to give me some advice.

"Jake, you're going to need some more light out here; the canopy is blocking the light from the porch."

"I know, Dad," I had growled, getting annoyed with the pole and slamming it into the ground. It stuck perfectly. _Hmmm._ I did the same to the rest.

"You're going to need a table and chairs. I don't know if we have any," he had added.

"Yes," I sighed. "I've already thought about that. Sam has one that he's dropping off."

"Have you thought about food?"

Okay. The old man was literally going to drive me insane.

"Yes!" I practically yelled at him.

I was buried under the canopy, wrestling it onto the poles the right way, so I only heard Billy's laughter. I rolled my eyes, muttering about annoying fathers, stupid canopies, and people laughing at my expense.

I managed to get the canopy hooked on the poles, and I smiled triumphantly. The old man sat there just inside the door, his hands folded comfortably over his middle, eyes twinkling. What was his problem today? Did he take a happy pill or something?

I heard Sam pull up, so I hurried around to the front. "Hey," he called out. "I have that table and a set of chairs for you."

He lifted it out and passed it over. "Thanks man," I said. "Appreciate it."

He followed me around back and watched as I set the table up under the canopy. Billy had disappeared back in the house; apparently he got tired of annoying me. When I finished, Sam had his hands in his pockets.

"Jake?" he said, looking mildly uncomfortable. "I have something else for you."

I had followed him back to the truck, where he pulled out a bottle of champagne. "Normally I wouldn't condone this, but well, its just one bottle. I wanted to give you and Bella something because of… that night. I felt badly about it; I didn't mean to hurt either of you."

I took the bottle from him, surprised. "Um, thanks Sam. You didn't have to do that, but… thanks."

"I, uh, also have this for you," he mumbled, pressing something into my hand. I glanced down at the condom and rolled my eyes. "You know, in case… well, just be safe."

I couldn't help but give a snort of laughter. "Be safe? Gee, thanks _Dad_."

He gave a chuckle. "Are you and Bella going to…?" he trailed off, not finishing the question.

"I don't know. I have no desire to push her into something she might not be ready for; we've, um, been progressing as you know. We really haven't talked about it, though." I fiddled with the condom before shoving it in my pocket, feeling vaguely embarrassed.

"Well, you know… it's just for in case… ok, well I have to go," he said quickly.

After he had left, I just shook my head and snickered.

I had gone over to Sue's then, since it was still early. I had a favor to ask her. She yelled for me to come in when I knocked, and as I walked in I was assaulted by the scent of roasting chicken. Man, it smelled good and my stomach rumbled.

"Hey Jacob. What brings you here?" she asked, pulling something out of the oven.

I kissed her cheek and leaned against her counter. "I have a favor to ask. Are you busy today?"

She poured some water over vegetables and stuck it in the microwave. "Not really. What did you need?"

"I was hoping I could talk you into making dinner for Bella and myself for tonight. I will give you a free-of-charge car tune-up and if you have anything you need help with, I would be more than willing." I gave her puppy-dog eyes.

She laughed. "I suppose I can handle that. Anything in particular?"

"Nah, whatever you make is fine."

"All right, I'll have it done for you by 6:30. You will just have to heat it up when you're ready for it. Now as far as chores…"

I spent some time cleaning out her gutters, washing the outside of her windows, and mowing her lawn. She gave me a couple days for her car; so when I was finished I drove it back to my dad's and parked it outside of my garage. I had headed into the woods after that, remembering that I ran by a patch of wildflowers the other night. Bella appreciated stuff that was thoughtful rather than expensive, so I figured that would be better than buying her some roses from the store.

I pulled out a couple handfuls and then stood at the canopy, unsure of what to do with them.

"You could probably make a couple bunches with those and hang them from the edge of the canopy. It would make it prettier."

I turned and saw Emily grinning at me.

"Not a bad idea," I said.

"I'm heading over to Bella's with Kim to see if she wants some help getting ready. I just wanted to see how you were doing over here." She deftly took the flowers and twisted them into little bundles for me.

"Okay, I guess," I said, glancing around, trying to remember what the hell I needed to do yet. "I think I'm almost done."

"Candles," she said. "Create some ambiance."

"I don't have any candles," I said, panicking. Oh God, what was I doing? I sucked at this.

Emily laughed. "I brought some in case you wanted them." I followed her back to her car and grabbed the box out of the back.

"Thanks Emily. You're a lifesaver," I said gratefully.

She grinned. "You're doing just fine, Jake."

When she left, I tied up the little bundles of flowers and hung them. I took her candles out of the box and set a couple on the table and a couple on the steps. I pulled the extra blanket off the bed that had been Rachel's and laid it in the grass for good measure. Lastly, I grabbed an extra spotlight to shine on the side of the house to create a little more light.

Satisfied with everything, I spent some time in my room digging through my closet, realizing I had no dress pants that would fit me. "Shit," I muttered. Now what?

"Jake? Can you come out here for a minute?"

I went into the kitchen to find my father sitting by the table that bore a large package and a few silver wrapped plates. He watched as I opened the box and my mouth fell open in surprise when I saw a pair of dress pants and a white buttoned shirt. There was a little card with it. It read simply:

To Jacob:

I knew you would need this for tonight. Seth is close to your height, so I guessed and got it slightly larger. No payment necessary for this; it's a gift.

Love, Sue

Billy had a small smile on his face. Sue Clearwater was by far an amazing

woman. I tried it on and everything fit. Luckily, I had always had big feet, so my shoes fit with only a little bit of squeezing. I came back out to check on the foil wrapped plates. Inside one were chicken breasts stuffed with something – looked like a combination of cheese and something green. It smelled good. She had also sent over some potatoes that had some kind of cream with herbs over it and vegetables. There were also sliced apples with caramel drizzled over them. No matter if the food was done in exchange for chores and the outfit was a gift; I knew I owed Sue a lot more than I had done today.

Everything was taken care of, so I showered and dressed. I was grabbing the keys to my Rabbit when my father called for me again.

"What is it, Dad? I'm about to leave," I said impatiently. I was jumpy and anxious to see Bella.

He rolled over to the night table near where I was standing. He pulled something out and pushed it into my hand. I couldn't help the laughing groan as I realized it was a condom. Geez, was I that transparent? First Sam and now my father.

"Look, I know I'm supposed to stay awake while Bella is here, which I will be, and I will be right inside here. I agree with Charlie in a way; I'm not sure you should be doing anything like that with Bella yet, but I figured better safe than sorry."

Where was everyone expecting this to go down? In my yard?

"I do have to wonder why you have condoms to freely pass out, old man." I gave him a smirk.

He frowned, though I could see he was trying not to laugh.

"Tradition," he said, a tiny smile sneaking out. "I had kept some them in there for when Rachel and Rebecca reached that age when they started dating seriously. Now it's your turn."

"Ugh," I muttered. That was a mental image I did _not_ want to have.

I had made my escape quickly to go get Bella. The sight of her coming down the steps had made my heart pound in my chest. She looked stunning. Long, soft curls, a dress that hugged her shape a bit more than her standard clothing did, and her face was lit up. Seeing her happy was what really did me in. I loved to see that beautiful smile on her face.

I had wanted to touch her desperately on the way back to my house, but contented myself to her thigh.

I pulled her in close now, sliding an arm around her waist, as I led her to the backyard. I was rewarded with a surprised little gasp from her when she took everything in. I had to admit, I did a pretty good job. The light somehow managed to illuminate the flowers; I certainly hadn't planned that.

"Jake, it's beautiful," Bella said, giving me a squeeze. I grinned down at her.

"I'm glad you like it." I kissed the top of her head. Mmm, her curls were soft. "I'm going to get the food heated up, Bells."

She insisted on helping me, and I gave in when I saw her stubborn expression. Apparently she didn't think I could handle even a microwave. Before we went in, Billy came to the door.

"Hey Bella," he said, a smile curling his lips. "You look beautiful."

"Thanks Billy," she replied. I chuckled when I realized she was blushing. Did my girl ever _not_ blush?

Billy held up his old Polaroid camera. "How about a picture you two?"

I groaned, but dutifully slipped an arm around Bella. Just as the old man raised the camera, I leaned down and blew a quiet raspberry on her neck. She gave a squeak of surprise and then started laughing.

Billy rolled his eyes and watched the picture develop. "Nice picture," he muttered, trying not to laugh. He held it up; he had good timing. He caught Bella's surprised look just as I did it. I laughed.

"Now how about a normal one?" he asked.

He took another one and then Bella and I went in to get the food ready. She exclaimed over the food.

"Jake! This looks great. Where did you get it?" she asked.

I smirked. "What? You don't think I made it?"

She rolled her eyes. "I would believe you made it if it were Campbell's Chunky Vegetable soup."

I laughed. "I bribed Sue to do it with the promise of chores."

We got the food heated up and I slipped the champagne out without my father noticing. I also lit the candles. Luckily the canopy partially dropped down on each side, so the wind wasn't able to blow them out. We took our plates out and there was still enough left for my dad.

As we ate, I would occasionally reach over and touch her; I couldn't seem to help myself. I also couldn't stop looking at her. Bella was always beautiful to me, but her hair was driving me crazy. Plus, I couldn't help noticing her legs. I rarely got to see them and just being able to see her calves was enough to entice me. I teased her about her tiny appetite when she couldn't quite clean off her plate.

"Like you really care," she snickered. "You like that I have a smaller appetite; it means more for you!"

"You do know me well," I replied. With a flourish, I pulled out the bottle of champagne and held it up to her, raising my eyebrow.

"Jacob!" she said, her eyes widening. "Where on earth did you get that?"

"Sam," I said, laughing at her look of shocked surprise. "He wanted to give it to us for the occasion." I didn't feel the need to add it was a bit of an apology, too. "Why? Did you think I stole it?"

She rolled her eyes. "No. Jake, Charlie will kill me if he finds out we drank."

"So don't tell him," I said with a laugh. I reached over, unable to resist, and twined my fingers in her curls. "It's not like we're going to get trashed. Just a little celebration."

She was biting her lip. "Well, maybe just one glass…"

I urged her around the table and onto my lap. I poured each of us a glass and we both drank a little tentatively. Hmm, not bad, I thought. We didn't talk much as we drank our champagne. I was content just to rub her bare arms to keep her warm, to let those curls brush against my face when I leaned in to kiss her.

When we finished our glass, she wanted more. I had to laugh. I poured her half a glass and she sipped as I guided her up and into my arms. Dancing was not my thing, but I kicked my shoes off – Bella following suit – and let her stand on my feet as we moved around slowly. My eyes were on her throat as she tilted her head back to swallow the last mouthful.

She snuggled into me. "You're nice an' toasty," she murmured. Her words were just the slightest bit slurred. I shook my head and took the glass from her.

"That's enough for you, Miss Swan. I want you awake and coherent when I get the opportunity to grope you."

She laughed, pulling away from me. I pulled her back under the canopy, pulling her down onto the quilt with me. She popped back up, and I leaned back on my elbows to watch her. Her cheeks were flushed from the champagne, her eyes just a bit unfocused. She began to sway, a little smile curling her lips. Her hips began to move, as she danced in a slow circle.

"Come on, Bells, dance for me," I teased her.

She grinned and continued to dance. Well, the alcohol certainly loosened her up a bit. My eyes traveled the length of her legs again, up to her chest, and back to her beautiful face. As much as I was enjoying this looser side of Bella, I figured maybe I should bring that dessert out and get some more food in her to take off the edge. I asked her if she wanted some and she agreed. I glanced out the kitchen window at her as I got the dessert out. She was still dancing in the grass.

It still took my breath away that she was mine. I was the luckiest guy imaginable. Bella was everything to me. My best friend, my confidante, my girlfriend, and hopefully would sometime soon be my lover. She was beautiful, intelligent, stubborn, and sweet. And her body was mouth-watering.

Shaking myself out of my reverie, and trying to will down my growing erection, I went back outside.

"Come here, Bells," I said, patting the blanket next to me. She dropped down next to me, extending her legs straight out like a little kid. I started to hand her a plate, but she laid out flat on her back.

I stretched out next to her on my side and took one of the slices of apple and bit into it. Bella reached a hand up and hooked it around the back of my neck, urging me to lean down. I did and nearly groaned when her little, pink tongue flicked out and tasted my lips.

"Mmm, good," she murmured.

I bit into another slice and leaned down again, letting her bite off the other end of the apple, her lips touching mine. I had a flash-back to being a kid and watching "Lady and the Tramp" and thinking the whole spaghetti scene was ridiculous and cheesy. I had to laugh.

"What's so funny?" she whispered.

"Nothing important," I said, leaning down to kiss her again. Her lips parted beneath mine, her sweet breath invading my senses. Caramel, apples, and pure Bella. I heard my father moving around inside and knew he was coming to check on us, so I pulled back. I could sense him peering out at us and then heard the squeak of his wheels as he rolled back to the living room. Bella rolled onto her side, picking up another apple and holding it out to me. I took a bite and nipped at her fingers, causing a giggle to escape.

"Jake?"

"Hmm?" I murmured, as we finished our dessert.

"Thank you for tonight. It was a lot better than going to the actual prom." She played with the buttons on my shirt.

I smiled. "Sure, sure."

She unbuttoned the first few buttons on my shirt, brushing her lips over my skin. I could stay here forever with her – just like this. Her hands began tugging my shirt out of my pants, sliding them underneath to stroke my stomach. My stomach muscles quivered and I let out a groan.

"Oh Bella," I murmured.

I tangled my fingers in those curls and kissed her fervently. She pressed closer to me, and feeling the line of her body pressed against mine, I knew I had to get her alone and away from prying eyes. I got up and pulled her with me.

"What…" she managed to mutter before I went Neanderthal and draped her over my shoulder.

"Jake!" she protested. "What are you doing?"

"I'm taking you somewhere a little more private," I said, holding on to her, and making sure I felt up her leg in the process.

She squirmed. "And just where would that be? Put me down!"

I reached my garage and put her down. "The garage?" she asked dryly. A smile threatened to escape.

"Why not?" I said, stroking my fingers along her collarbone. "It's private; I can hear if my dad is looking for us, and the guys are out tonight."

My fingers began tracing delicate patterns on the soft, sensitive skin below her ear. I could feel the shiver pass through her body.

"I've wanted to get you entirely alone all evening, Miss Swan."

I opened the backdoor of the Rabbit and we clambered in. I couldn't help laughing as she tripped getting in and ended up sprawled on the seat. She gave me a look, but I slid in next to her, pinning her against the door. I barely had room to maneuver, but I buried my hands in her thick hair, kissing her with pent-up energy.

"Mmmm," she moaned, her mouth opening wider, allowing me to taste the inside of her mouth.

Damn. She was delicious.

I nibbled along her lower lip. Her lips were still slightly sticky from the dessert, so I took her lip into my mouth to taste it. I could feel her trying to squirm into a better position, so I backed up a little. She ended up lying down, her head propped up in the corner. I found a shirt of mine on the front seat that I hadn't used yet, so she pillowed her head on it and gazed up at me with shining eyes.

I parted her legs a little so I could move in closer. I leaned down and took her mouth again. Her little fingers were working open the buttons on my shirt as I kissed my way down her chin, to her neck. Her skin was an elixir. I gently sucked on the skin, my mouth moving back up to hers. In the meantime, she had unbuttoned my shirt and was pushing it off. I tried to wriggle out of it and managed to trap my arms since I barely had any room to move.

Bella gave a cute little snort of laughter and tickled her fingers over my ribs. I laughed, trying to get out of my shirt, and away from her teasing fingers.

"You're asking for it," I gave her a smirk, finally managing to untangle myself.

I slid my hand down her leg, where I snagged her foot and pulled her shoe off. I leaned back and tickled the sole of her foot, setting off a peal of laughter.

"Jake, stop," she gasped, still laughing. She gave my hair a yank and I dropped her foot.

"Now behave yourself," I teased. She grinned and I leaned down and brushed my lips against hers. She wrapped her arms around me. I kept hold of her leg, running my fingers up her outer thigh. Her back arched a bit, so I kissed my way down her chest. I hooked a finger in the straps of her dress and gently tugged it down.

My eyes nearly popped out of my head.

She wasn't wearing a bra.

"Why Bella," I joked, trying not to drool and embarrass myself. "What do we have here?"

She blushed. "I, um… there's padding in the dress, and I can't exactly wear…" she trailed off.

I grinned. Man, I hadn't tasted her since that night in her room. I had pulled her dress just below her breasts, and it was pushing them up toward me. I leaned down yet again, brushing my lips over the swell. She whimpered and tightened her grip on my hair. My lips trailed a circle of kisses around that perfect pink nipple. Her legs moved restlessly, her gasps spurring me on.

I could barely believe I had the girl of my dreams in the back of my car. With her breasts exposed. It was a teenage fantasy come true.

I flicked my tongue over her nipple. "Jake," she whispered. I glanced up at her. Her eyes were half-closed and she was rocking her hips up against mine. I responded the only way I could. I rose to the occasion very quickly.

The skin of her thigh was burning my hand. I eased back, seeing her nipple glistening from my mouth. I had to take a few deep breaths to attempt any kind of control. My hand glided to the inside of her thigh, stroking my fingers over her soft skin. She moaned softly, reaching for me.

"Hold on, Bells," I whispered.

I continued to stroke, my fingers moving higher. I was mesmerized by the feel of her… and oh… the smell… I breathed deep. I could see her cheeks redden again and she bit her lip. Before I realized what I was planning, my fingers had reached the apex of her thighs. Her hips were undulating and we were both panting with need. I slid my fingers to the top of her panties, surprised and harder than ever, when I realized she had on silky, lace panties.

"Bells? Can I?" I whispered, hesitant to just rip her panties off.

She nodded her eyes on mine. I lost myself in the depths of them as I pulled her panties slowly down her legs, making sure to brush as much skin as possible. Her breath hitched as my hand ghosted back up her pale leg. The russet tone of my skin against those creamy thighs was tantalizing. I reached her core and she gave a small cry as I touched her, skin to skin, for the first time.

I was careful, slow. And hesitant. This was new territory for me. I carefully slid my finger up along her opening to graze that little bump that drove her crazy. Her breath was coming hard, her breasts pushed up even higher as she squirmed for more of my touch. I slid my finger back down and rested the tip right at the opening.

My hand was shaking. I wanted to make this good for her. I was a little nervous.

Carefully, I pushed my finger in deeper. I was going to have some sort of an attack at the exquisite feel of her. I carefully pushed her thighs apart further, as I moved closer and slid my finger deeper and deeper into her body.

"Jake… Jake… Jake…" the plea was masked in desire. Her voice was thick.

She felt warm to me. And wet. She reached for me as I had the same thought and lowered my lips to hers. Our tongues battled for dominance as I pulled back and slid my finger in again. Her whole body was vibrating. The rhythm got smoother and soon my finger was sliding into her faster. In, out. In, out.

"That feels… oh Jake… so good," she gasped. There was a slight sheen of sweat at her hairline.

I could feel her clench around my finger. My body ached and throbbed.

I slid another finger in and she cried out, her leg shooting out further and crashing into the passenger seat. That little bump was what caused her to come last time, so I slid my thumb up and pressed on it gently, testing, as I slid both fingers even further into her. Her body bucked.

I kissed my way down her neck, gently biting her skin, until I reached her breasts. I dropped kisses on her nipples, suckling them into my mouth. She tasted like a summer day filled with honey, strawberries, and sunshine. As I continued stroking her as she pleaded with me, I felt her clench even tighter around my fingers again. Oh damn.

She cried out, her back arching again, her fingernails scratching my shoulders as she clung to me. She came with a frenetic energy, and the force of it sent a nearly painful jolt of lust to my already throbbing erection.

Her legs spasmed as her body slowly came back down from her arch, and I was nearly overcome with what just happened.

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**BPOV:**

My body was throbbing, the spasms between my thighs spreading to all the other parts of my body. My face was hot, my arms were shaking as I clung to Jake, my legs felt useless, and I sucked in a breath. When I began to come to, I realized I was still half-lying down, one leg pressed against the back seat, the other one resting on the console between the driver's seat and the passenger's seat. Jake was still between my legs.

I felt sluggish, but I saw Jake's face. I could tell he wanted to bask in making me come, but his face was a bit tortured. My lips firmed, and I pushed myself up. He wasn't going to try and play this off as something just for me – I was going to do the same for him.

"Bells?" he murmured, as I pushed myself up, blushing as I pulled my dress back up.

I gently pushed at him until he moved back and leaned against the seat. I pressed my lips to the pulse pounding away in his neck. I glided my hand down his chest, to his stomach, to the top of his pants. I could barely see what I was doing; there was only a faint glow of light. I flicked the button open on his pants and unzipped him.

"Bella, honey… you don't have to…" he began, but a small groan escaped as my fingers brushed over the bulge in his pants.

I touched my lips to his ear. "I want to," I breathed softly.

I felt a little frisson of uncertainty as I tried to carefully extract him from his pants. I had no idea what I was doing, and I wanted this to be good for him, too. It caught me off guard when his hips lifted to shift his pants down and the length of him spilled into my hand. Carefully, I stroked my fingers along his erection, surprised and a little nervous about the length of him. I felt him lean over slightly and grab something. He placed a towel on his lap and my face heated.

Jake's face turned toward mine and we kissed, slowly, as my fingers continued to glide over him, feeling every bump and ridge, running my fingers over the tip of him. He was breathing faster.

"Oh Bella, that feels so good," he moaned, his voice huskier than ever. I wasn't sure where to go from there, but I felt his hand wrap around mine until I was gripping him firmly. He guided my hand in an up-and-down motion and then I continued on my own.

I was careful – easing off, and then gripping a little harder. I judged by the sounds he was making.

"Bells, I'm not going to last much longer." His voice was pained.

I made the most of it. I gripped him firmly, moving my hand up and down the length of him faster and faster. His hips were arching up and he was gasping and moaning. He turned again and our lips met, tongues invading, as I continued moving my hand over him. I reached up with my other hand, gripping his hair almost roughly, and I bit at his neck as I pumped him a little harder, rubbing my thumb over the tip.

With a low cry and a grunt, I felt the ripple under my hand as he came. I pulled back to watch him. I could see his silhouette; his eyes were closed, his lips parted slightly as he panted. His hips were still rocking as he finished. I kissed his jaw, his neck, his ear, until he turned to me and pressed his lips to mine. As he kissed me, I noticed he cleaned himself up quickly and got his pants back on.

"That was incredible," he murmured into my neck.

"Mmm, it was," I whispered. We basked in it, our breathing the only sound in the dark garage.

Jake's head suddenly shot up. "Damn, I hear my father. Come on, Bells!" I yanked my shoes back on and adjusted my dress as we scrambled out.

As we walked down to his house, I heard soft snickers in the forest. Jake turned and flung a rock in that direction, rolling his eyes, but trying not to laugh. "Ow, dammit," I heard a faint voice mutter.

"Was that…? Did they hear…?" My eyes widened as I realized Quil and Embry were in the woods, laughing.

"They just came with a quick message from Sam that he wants me to patrol yet tonight. They only caught the tail end," he muttered.

I sighed as we reached the canopy. This no privacy thing was difficult. And embarrassing. Billy came to the door and eyed us. I couldn't meet his eyes, but Jake did. "We just went to the garage and had a soda for old time's sake," he said, trying not to grin.

Billy rolled his eyes. "Enough hanky-panky. Take her home, Jacob. It's getting close to midnight."

"Aye, aye Captain," Jake replied.

I waved goodnight as we headed back to the Rabbit. I curled into him on the ride home. His warm hand rested on my thigh as we drove along quietly. The feelings that had coursed through me tonight - and what I did for Jacob - were amazing. That and the champagne had exhausted me. I was so ready to go to bed; I just wished Jake was going to be there with me.

Jake parked in front of my house. "I love you, Bells," he whispered, nuzzling the side of my face. I smiled as I turned for his kiss.

"Thank you for tonight," I whispered.

"No, thank _you_," he said, laughing. I blushed, but grinned at him. With one last lingering kiss he promised to call me tomorrow and I headed inside.

Charlie was thankfully in his room, but I heard his shuffling movements and knew he had been waiting for me. I hurried to my room to avoid any small-talk if he was so inclined. I undressed and got ready for bed quickly.

Buried under my comforter, I drifted off with a smile on my face.


	13. Graduation

I yawned heartily as I flipped the eggs in the pan over. The vegetables simmered on the back burner, and I had the toast in the toaster. As the eggs cooked, I poured the orange juice. I added the vegetables to the eggs and draped a slice of cheese over it. I heard Charlie shuffling down the steps to the kitchen where he stopped in surprise.

"Mmmm, smells fantastic. What's all this for?"

I shrugged. "Just wanted to make us breakfast." I couldn't seem to stop smiling this morning.

He got the utensils out as I put the food on plates.

"So… how was it last night? Did you have fun?" Charlie asked casually.

"Yeah, I did. Sue made dinner for us, and Jake went to a lot of trouble to set up a canopy and decorate. It looked great." I was glad I had my face hidden as I pulled the jelly out of the fridge. My mind kept drifting back to the end of the evening and I really didn't want to face Charlie with that thought in my mind. Not to mention I noticed I had a couple marks on my neck from Jake that I was trying to keep covered with my hair.

"Good. So what are you up to today? You have to work, right?"

"Yeah, until about one o' clock. Then I have to study for one more final and write an essay. The rest of the week should be relatively easy, since graduation is next weekend," I replied, sitting down to eat my breakfast.

"So, what did you have for dinner last night?" Charlie asked, his voice still a little overly casual.

"Sue made us chicken breasts that had cheese and herbs in it. There were vegetables and cream and herb potatoes as well. She also made us a caramel apple dessert." I desperately tried to will my blush away as that evoked a few memories. I think I succeeded because Charlie didn't react.

"Sounds good. Did you actually dance?" he asked with a grin. He seemed a little embarrassed, but was also genuinely interested.

"Yeah," I muttered. "Not that much, but a little."

He chuckled.

I casually re-adjusted my hair as I finished breakfast and carried my dishes to the sink. "I'll get the dishes, Bells. Why don't you go get ready for work? Oh, and I'll be fishing today until about four o'clock."

"Okay, thanks," I said and made my escape.

************************************************************************

Work went pretty quickly. There were a decent number of people coming in from out of town to hike the trails, which was worrying me. I needed to call Jake to let him know, so the pack was aware. It was a worrying thought that something was out there we weren't familiar with.

My thoughts lingered on the unpleasant, worried about the hikers. The thought of anyone being in danger because of my ability to attract danger, made me feel horrid. I called Jacob on my break to pass the news on. Billy told me he was busy in the garage, but he promised he would pass the message on immediately.

"Oh Bella, I wanted to see if you and Charlie would come down for dinner today. I know he's fishing, but I figured we could catch him before he heads back to Forks."

"Sure, that shouldn't be a problem. How about I bring some stuff down and cook it there?" I said.

"Bella, you don't have to cook for all of us, we can order something or use the grill," he replied.

"It's not a problem. I was planning on making pasta with chicken tonight, so I can just bring it down and cook it there. It's really not much and won't take long."

"You can only bring it down if you make Jacob help you. You won't cook alone when I invite you for dinner."

I laughed. "Sure, sure."

When my shift was over, I headed home and packed up what I needed to take to the Blacks' and went upstairs to work on my essay. I finished just in time to head to Jake and Billy's. I carefully carried out the containers of the ingredients to my truck and drove to La Push. I was excited to see Jacob; I had trouble focusing on anything today. We wouldn't be alone, but to at least be near him and be able to touch him was enough. For now.

When I parked, I saw the door open and Billy wheeled himself out. "Hey Bella! You need help?"

"Hi Billy! No, it's not much. I got it."

Jake came to the door just as Billy began to wheel himself away from the house. "I'll be back soon, kids. Behave yourselves; I don't want to catch hell from Charlie."

As he rolled away, Jake didn't say a word. He just took the stuff from me and deposited it on the counter. As soon as he did that, he grabbed my hand and practically herded me to his bedroom. I was laughing and I could see his grin as he closed the door behind us and lifted me, pushing my back against his door. My legs wrapped around his waist as his mouth collided with mine.

"Mmmm…" was all I managed to mutter as the kiss spun immediately out of control.

He caught my tongue between his teeth, sucking on it rather roughly. When he released it, I not so gently bit his bottom lip in return. A rumble worked its way up his chest as he cupped my behind and carried me over to the bed. We landed next to each other in a heap, limbs tangled, our lips still connected.

His tongue tasted every inch of my mouth it could. In a span of just a few minutes, I felt incredibly aroused. I hooked my leg over his hip.

"All I could think about today was how it felt to have my fingers inside of you; your fingers wrapped around me," he whispered. "I had to, uh, relieve myself a couple times," he added, his eyes lifting and staring straight into mine.

I felt the heat spread through my body, embarrassed, but excited that I had that effect on him. "Did you… stroke it like how I did last night?" I whispered back, a bit shocked that came out of my mouth.

His laughter shook the bed. He slid his fingers up my shirt, pushing them under my bra to touch my nipple. "Oh yeah just like that. I imagined it was you, too."

I arched into his touch. "Oh Jake…" I murmured. He kissed me again.

Suddenly we heard voices outside the window.

"Oh, Bella, you're so edible. When I kiss you, I could just suck your lips off." A deep, male voice with a really bad falsetto came to us through the open window.

"Oh Jake, you have the lips for it."

"Oh Bella, I'm so lucky to be able to slobber all over you."

Kissing noises ensued.

I was frozen in surprise, but Jacob's hand retreated from under my shirt, and he yanked up the blind on his window. His expression was a mix of irritation and amusement as we saw Jared and Quil making kissy noises at each other. Embry and Paul weren't far behind and were both bent over laughing.

"You two lovebirds should get a room," Jake said in a snarky voice. "Since you enjoy kissing each other so much."

Jared narrowed his eyes at Jacob, but laughed. "Nah, got Kim for that. Be careful of him, Bella. Jake _is_ a sucker." He emphasized suck and I felt the blush creep up my neck.

"Whether I am sucker or not, at least I can keep myself on the bed, where I _should_ be." I remembered Kim telling me that story.

All of the guys' howled with laughter.

"That was an awesome image," Quil said, laughing.

"Get out of here, all of you," Jake said with a laugh. He tossed a book on his nightstand at Quil's head, which Quil managed to catch. "Billy and Charlie will be here any minute, and I plan on making the most out of the minutes I have left."

With that, he yanked his blind back down and moved back, pulling me into him. Laughter echoed outside as he kissed me softly. "Sorry about that," he said, fighting a grin. "They're just being a bunch of idiots."

I laughed. "It's okay. Though I think I should probably get dinner started. I'm sure they'll be here any minute."

He groaned. "Damn. You're right; I hear Charlie coming." He gave me another quick kiss and hauled me up off the bed.

We hurried into the kitchen, and I began unpacking the food. Charlie came into the kitchen, Billy right behind him.

"Just getting started, hmm?" Billy murmured, eyeballing us.

Jake snickered. I rolled my eyes at him.

Charlie just ignored us and went in to flip the television on. I put a pot of water on the stove to boil while Jake helped me chop the vegetables. It was a slow process. For someone who was so skilled with his hands – in more ways than one – he certainly took his good old time chopping food. I sautéed broccoli, mushrooms, carrots, onions, tomatoes, and peas. We cut up the pieces of chicken as well and tossed that in to cook.

We worked in comfortable silence. I kind of enjoyed cooking with someone else, especially when it was Jacob. The pasta finished, I combined everything while Jake got plates out. I called Billy and Charlie and we ate at the little kitchen table. When we were finished and starting to clean up, Charlie spoke up.

"You kids aren't going into the woods, are you?" Charlie asked, breaking the silence.

"No," I replied. "Why? Did something happen?" I felt my hands being to shake.

Charlie sighed, rubbing his hands over his face. "Yeah, last night some of my deputies were out to keep an eye on things and came across a body. I just got the message while fishing. It was pretty far into the woods, but it was a camper. Deputy Mark found something lodged in the tree near it. It hasn't been analyzed officially yet, but they said it looks like human bone."

I felt the horror wash through me. Human bone? What? It didn't sound like a vampire to me; but it didn't sound like what had attacked Charlie either. I squeezed my hands into fists, then I felt Jake's hand slide over mine. He brought it to his lips and kissed my knuckles.

Innocent people were dying and I had no idea why. I felt the burn of tears, but kept them at bay. It wouldn't do anyone any good for me to fall apart. I felt guilty for being so happy not long ago in Jacob's room.

"What do you think it is?" Billy asked, his brow furrowed, eyes examining Charlie closely.

"What? Don't you mean who?" Charlie asked, eyes narrowing.

Billy tilted his head in acknowledgement. "Of course," he murmured. Jake and I cast a furtive look at each other.

"No idea who. Whoever it is, though, is sick. I thought we were hunting wolves, then it seemed to be human, but I was attacked by something that I think was an animal." Charlie looked understandably frustrated.

We all reflected on that. I wished I could tell Charlie the truth, but he was safer not knowing. I knew when he and any of his men were out the pack was out, too. I hated having the pack out there, especially Jacob, but he got annoyed when I brought it up.

"Whatever it is, you two stay out of the woods. Understand?" Charlie said his voice serious.

"Sure," I replied. I had no desire to go into the forest. It used to be a refuge, but now it was a threat.

Billy and Charlie went into the living room to watch television, so Jake and I sat on the front porch. I pulled my feet up onto the top step, hugging my knees to my chest. Jake slid his arm around me and I leaned my head on his shoulder.

"You knew about this, didn't you?" I suddenly accused Jake.

He looked down at me, his expression unreadable. "Not about the bone. We knew a body had been found."

I pulled back, staring at him intently. "Why didn't you tell me?"

He sighed, looking at the border of the forest. Evening was being to creep in, long fingers of darkness casting shadows on the ground. It was close to touching the porch, and I squeezed my legs harder.

"Well, I only heard about it this morning. And I didn't think you really needed to know. Not yet anyway."

I glared at him. "You have always been honest with me, Jake. Just because it might upset me doesn't mean you shouldn't tell me."

"I'm sorry, Bella, but we didn't really have any leads as to what it was. Hell, it could have been just a wild animal attack. We had seen traces of fur, but everything was kicked around and there wasn't a lot to go on. We saw the bone, but didn't realize that was what it was. We knew Charlie and his deputies would be out to comb over the scene, so we couldn't really touch anything." There was a trace of irritation in his voice.

I paused, a little deflated. He had a point, but I was tired of being scared. I was tired of people getting hurt because of me. Guilt had been plaguing me too long – what with putting Charlie in danger just being near me and now Jake and the pack.

"Is there any correlation in what attacked this poor hiker and what attacked Charlie?" I shuddered saying it, hating to remember what happened.

"Well, the attack on your father seemed deliberate and planned. This didn't. And the fact that Charlie was just hurt, whereas this man died."

We sat in silence. I felt sick over the thought. And more guilt hit me when I thought about how happy I was last night.

Jake turned to me abruptly. He tilted my chin up, his eyes piercing. "This is _not_ your fault, Bella. I know you're thinking that and just stop it right now."

"How can I? Victoria is coming after me and now there is this other random thing lurking around hurting and killing people? I feel terrible that I was so happy last night and this happened…"

Jake cut me off. His eyebrows were mashed together, his lips in a hard line.

"Bella. We can't stop living our lives because something bad happens. We can mourn the loss of a life, but for our own sake, we need to be able to be happy, to laugh, to have fun. To just be us."

He wrapped his arms around me, and I rested my head against his chest. "I suppose you're right," I said quietly. We watched the low-hanging clouds as the rain misted around us, creating patterns on the stone steps.

His hands stroked over my hair, and I tilted my head back. He kissed me slowly, our tongues barely grazing, just relishing the feel of each other's lips. His large hand swept in a circle over my back, the heat from it nearly making the misting rain steam as it hit us.

"Ahem. I think we need to be heading home now, Bella," Charlie said dryly.

When we got home, I went over my homework again for good measure. I turned my computer on and saw that Renee had emailed me wanting to know about my "prom" and what was new. I emailed her back with some of the tamer details and gave her the rundown of things I had to do this week and confirmed that she would be arriving on Friday and would be staying until Sunday.

I didn't dream that night, but I slept fitfully, my body unable to rest.

************************************************************************

The week went by so fast. I finished up my exams and papers and was beyond thrilled that school was done. Charlie had a surprise for me one morning, too. He apologized over and over to me, but he said Renee insisted it should happen. And as we both knew, my mother's insistent nature couldn't go ignored very long.

They were throwing me a graduation party the night after my graduation. I moaned and complained to Charlie that I wasn't interested in a party; that I was happy just being with him, Billy, Jake, and my mom and Phil. I could see he agreed with me, but he had said yes to appease Renee. He promised it wasn't a huge thing, though. Of course Jake and Billy would be there, along with Sue and the rest of the wolf pack. He had also invited Jessica, Angela, Mike, Ben, and Eric. I was thankful Lauren hadn't gotten an invite. Jessica was enough.

It was the night before my graduation and I was jumpy. I still had the death of that hiker on my mind, and I was a little nervous about the ceremony tomorrow. My physical strength and balance was better, but I really didn't want to fall in front of the whole school. Jacob was coming over tonight and that would help in keeping me distracted. He said he would stay until he had to leave to patrol.

To pass time I dug out a black skirt and a scoop-neck maroon shirt that my mother had gotten me for special occasions. I ironed them and laid them out along with my black slip-on flats. I felt Jacob enter the room rather than heard him, so I turned with a grin. Some of that training must have helped in that respect.

"Hey Bells," Jake said softly, an echoing grin on his face.

I moved toward him automatically without even thinking about it, and he did the same. The window had been open since this morning, and the air was cool, so Jake's heat felt good as he wrapped me up in one of his all-encompassing hugs. His lips touched my ear, traveling a lazy trail across my cheek to the corner of my mouth, down to my chin.

I traced my finger around his ear then slid my fingers back to his soft hair. His mouth moved back to my lips where he gave me a quick kiss. He pulled back, his eyes soft. He sat on my bed and tugged me down onto his lap. I wrapped my arms around his neck and curled against him, content.

"You ready for tomorrow?" he murmured into my hair.

"Yes, but no."

He laughed.

"Physically ready is all set. But I seem to have a case of the nerves. I don't want to trip getting my diploma."

"Normally, I would say that you totally would. You're quite the klutz." I gave him a look and he chuckled. "_But_… your balance and strength is a lot better. I'm sure you will be fine."

"I hope so," I said, hopping off his lap. "I'm going to get ready for bed. I'll be right back." I left him lounging on my bed as I went in the bathroom to brush my teeth and change into my thin lounge pants and tank top; I had to upgrade from sweats since Jake's body heat was now factored in.

Jake was waiting for me, lifting my blanket for me and wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. I snickered and slid in next to him, and he immediately pulled me on top of him. I propped my chin on my hands as I gazed down into his eyes.

"Sometimes I still can't believe you're with me," Jake said softly, his dark eyes roving over my face. The rain had cleared enough in the evening to let the nearly full moon shine in my bedroom window. It highlighted the planes of Jacob's face, shining in his black hair.

I curled a lock of it around my hair. "I feel the same. I'm pretty damn lucky."

A smile curled his lips. "Tell me about it. I have the cutest girlfriend ever," he teased, making his voice deliberately corny. I could see in his eyes he was serious, though.

I flushed. "Sure, sure," I muttered.

He rolled us over, so we were facing each other. He kept hold of me, so I didn't go tumbling off the bed. "Don't be stupid, Bells. You _are_ beautiful. You should have confidence in yourself; have confidence in me for falling in love with you - the perfect girl." He winked.

I laughed. "Only you would call me stupid and beautiful in one sentence." I shook my head. "I'll work on that."

He laughed, too and leaned over to kiss me. Our lips touched, retreated, touched again. As our kiss grew deeper, as it nearly always did, I felt Jake's body heat even more. Our tongues tasted and explored what was so familiar and always tantalizing. Hands fumbled as we touched and explored each other's body; it always felt like the first time. Jacob hovered over me, his hair tickling my face, as warm hands coasted up under my shirt. Lips and tongues tasted bared skin; soft as satin, warm as the sunshine. Our breath mingled and increased and suddenly things felt like they were shifting into something more.

Jake's hands were urgent, tugging my tank top straps down, moving down in nearly the same breath and hooking into my pants and starting to remove them. We had explored each other's bodies, but we had either clothes or darkness in the way of full-on nudity, in the way of that final step to consummating our relationship.

I wanted it more than anything, but the realization of where this was going made me panic a bit. The gasp that burst from my throat was different than my aroused gasps, and Jake knew it; he was completely in tune with me.

He pulled back quickly, his disheveled hair even more in a disarray from my hands, the lust in his eyes dwindling as he took in the situation. I could feel how hard he was as he was pressed against my leg. My body burned with desire, and my hands shook.

"Oh damn, Bella. I'm sorry; I wasn't thinking, I…" he started to apologize.

"Jake, stop," I insisted. "You have nothing to apologize for. _I'm _sorry. I want you so badly. I'm just a little scared. It's okay, really, we can do this…" I said, reaching down to rid myself of my pants.

His hands caught mine and brought them to his chest.

"Bella, we don't have to. I'm not going to lie to you; I've wanted this with you since the beginning, since I've known you. Your taste, your smell, your skin, your breasts, your eyes… all of it drives me wild. But I won't rush you." His breath was still short, he was still turned on.

He eased off of me, and I wanted to cry. "Jake. I guess deep down I'm still a little scared of losing you; maybe that's why I'm holding back. I know it's been progressing in stages and I promise you it will be soon."

He turned to face me, his eyes in shadow.

"Bella, honey, it will happen when it happens. But…" he hesitated for a moment, biting his lip.

"What?" I whispered, stroking my fingers over his cheekbones, across his lips.

"This isn't about… _him_, is it?" I could feel the tremble in his frame as he said it.

I froze. I had thought that originally, but I knew that what I said about losing him was the real reason. At least now it was. I felt I had more to lose once we connected more than just mind and soul. When every part of our being was connected, I didn't know how to cope with the idea of losing him.

"No, Jake. Not anymore," I said honestly. I stroked his hair when I felt another tremor rock through him. "This is just about you and me. And my stupid fears."

He smiled ruefully. "They aren't stupid."

He wrapped his arms around me, settling us down and under the covers, and I laid my head on his chest. I was incredibly tired now. "I love you," he whispered. I kissed his chest in response and drifted off quickly.

************************************************************************

When I woke, Jake was gone. I knew he had to patrol a few hours early this morning, so it didn't surprise me. I rolled over and stretched, ready to face my graduation day. As I sat up, I felt something swing against my neck and upper chest.

Surprised, I reached up and felt something hanging from around my neck. I didn't have any jewelry on last night, so I reached behind my neck and found the clasp. It was a leather cord and on it was a wooden heart. I knew Jacob worked with wood and my mouth popped open in surprise. It was a blend of different kinds of wood – a light tan oak, some kind of cherry colored wood, and a dark brown color all blended in smooth lines.

It was soft to the touch; it must have been sanded and coated with primer to keep it intact and smooth. I flipped it over and felt a smile curl my lips. On the back, tiny carved letters spelled out _Congrats. Love u forever. Jake._ My lips trembled a little as I carefully hooked it back on. I got up to get ready for the day.

After breakfast with Charlie, we drove to the Forks Airport where my mother took a connecting flight from Olympia to. We were only there moments when my mother came hurrying out and saw me.

"Bella!" she cried, practically running toward me. I laughed; she was such a little kid sometimes. I was _so_ happy to see her.

She grabbed me in a fierce hug and held onto me. "Mom," I said with a laugh. Her hug reminded me of Jake's hugs. Bone-crushing.

"Oh, honey, it's so good to see you!" she cried, pushing me back to arm's length to get a good look at me and then hugging me again. Phil finally – and gently – pulled her off of me.

I gave him a grateful grin and a hug, too. "Hey Bella, it is good to see you," he said, his eyes crinkling up when he smiled.

"I'm glad you could come," I said, watching Renee greet Charlie in a relatively cheerful way. He even hugged her. I was glad it wasn't a bitter divorce; they seemed to care about each other, they just knew it would never work.

Renee introduced Phil to Charlie which went relatively well. They seemed to eye each other up, a little hesitant, but quickly realized they had a mutual interest in sports and began talking about it. I tuned them out and turned to Renee as we headed out

"My baby is graduating today!" she said, still beyond excited. Her eyes twinkled in glee.

I chuckled. "That I am. I'm so glad you're here, Mom," I said, feeling a little emotional. I missed her more than I realized.

She looped an arm around me, her eyes a little damp. "Me too, Bella. Now I'll get to meet a certain Jacob Black, won't I?" she asked, a teasing grin on her face.

I smiled, excited for them to meet. I knew Jacob would get a kick out of her, and I was certain she would like him. "Yes, mom. You will get to meet him tonight," I said with a laugh.

"Good. Now on to important things. Is he a good kisser?"

I suffered through my mother's more embarrassing questions – luckily not for very long - and dropped them off at the hotel. "I could sleep on the pull-out, Renee, if you and Phil want to stay at the house…" Charlie said, looking a little uncertain.

Renee patted his arm. "Thanks, Charlie, but really we have no problem staying at the hotel. I don't want to put you out in your own home. Don't worry about it!"

They went to check in and were going to rest up before meeting us before the ceremony. So Charlie and I headed back to the house to relax before everything started. I puttered around, butterflies taking flight in my stomach, and cleaned a little. I jumped in the shower then and washed my hair. I blew it dry and let it hang in waves down my back. I got dressed quickly and even managed to get some lipstick and eye shadow on without incident. I did spill some of the eye shadow on the sink, but I figured that was minor for me.

Renee and Phil came to the house and drove with us to Forks High. When we got there, Renee touched the necklace. "That's beautiful, Bella. Where did you get it?"

I smiled, my cheeks warming. "Jake made it for me. A graduation present."

"It's beautiful. He must be quite skilled with his hands." I rolled my eyes as she laughed.

"Speak of the devil," I murmured.

Billy, Jake, and… oh my, he brought Embry, Quil, and Seth with. Plus, Emily and Kim came as well.

I saw my mother's eyes widen. "Oh my," she murmured. "That's Jacob? He's beautiful… and he's very, um, built," she added. I tried to muffle my laughter. "And his friends are huge, too. What do they feed these Quileute boys?"

We made the introductions and Renee immediately was charmed by Jacob. He complimented her outfit and told her I must get the beauty from her side which caused a wave of giggles. I shook my head indulgently. When he finished speaking with Renee, he swept me up into a hug.

"Thank you for the necklace," I whispered in his ear. "It's incredibly beautiful."

"You're welcome," he whispered back, his lips tickling my ear. "Though you get one more gift yet."

"Jake, you don't have to do that," I protested. "This is enough."

"Already done, so no complaining," he teased. "You have to wait until tomorrow at the party to get it." I shook my head and he just smiled.

We separated then as I needed to head inside. I met up with Mike, Angela, Ben, Eric, and Jessica. I stayed with Angela.

"We should get together sometime, Bella. I'll miss seeing and talking to you in school," she said shyly as we pulled our caps and gowns on and headed into the gymnasium.

I realized that I would actually enjoy that. "Definitely," I replied. "I'd like that."

The ceremony was relatively short, thankfully. We sat through a couple speeches and then they called us up by row and delivered our diplomas. I even managed to walk the short platform to the stage without falling, for which I was eternally grateful. Jake and his brothers' all hooted from the bleachers, letting loose some wolf-whistles. I turned red and a giggle escaped. They did it for all of my friends they met, cheering for the guys and giving the wolf-whistles for the girls. I laughed again when I saw Angela with a red face.

When it was over, the hats tossed, I felt a wave of sadness as I stared around. It wasn't right that Alice and… Edward weren't here for this. It was where I had met them, where I had begun my fascination with and started falling in love with him. The memories drifted in slowly and I took a deep breath. The hole had been closed, but it still ached when I thought of him. And it hurt to not share this with him and Alice. I swallowed hard, trying to banish the sad thoughts.

Jake got to me first, swinging me around in a hug. I laughed, feeling the pain recede at the feel of his arms around me. "You okay?" he asked softly, after kissing me.

"Yeah," I said, giving him a smile. I was okay. He didn't need to know this. It wouldn't ruin my graduation; I just needed to let the memories in to remember and then put them back where they belonged and focus on my here and now.

Many hugs were given and then Charlie, Billy, Renee, Phil, Jake and I went out to dinner at a restaurant just outside of Forks. As we ate, Jake and I held hands under the table.

I was happy and content sitting with my whole family and the boy who loved me so thoroughly.

************************************************************************

**A/N: Just a random thing… the blending of the wood came from the fact that my brother used to make rings and beads out of wood and I have a couple items that he made. Some are just lines of different colored wood, while some are in a checked pattern. They really are beautiful. I added a picture to my twitter in case you want to see… link in profile.**


	14. Party

The morning dawned a soft gray, but at least it wasn't raining. I went downstairs and ate a granola bar, gazing out the window. Today was the day of my party, and I felt like the party pooper. All I wanted to do was curl up somewhere with Jake and rest. I saw Charlie in the backyard, setting up a canopy. Oh boy, another canopy. Memories ran rampant through my mind of another canopy, but I quelled them as I went outside to see if Charlie needed help.

"Hey Dad, you want some help?" I called out.

"I can get the canopy, but your mother dropped off some decorations or something. You think you can handle that?"

I rolled my eyes. It wasn't what I particularly wanted to do, since I didn't particularly want a party, but I agreed. I made a cup of tea as I sifted through the bag Renee had brought over. There were streamers in gold with Congratulations printed all over it. There were paper plates with little congrats and streamers printed all over it and there were matching cups and napkins. I groaned as I saw a bag of balloons. Not only was I not big into balloons, but knowing me I'd probably pass out from blowing into them.

There were also small plastic vases and off to the side was a huge bouquet of yellow roses to put in them. I figured it was the centerpieces. With a sigh, I began to unroll the streamers and took it outside to line the edges of the canopy. As I went on a scotch-taping spree, my mom and Phil showed up.

"Hi honey!" she called, nodding her head in my direction. Her hands were full with a large white box.

"What's this?" I asked. She took it in the house and placed it on the counter. I peeked inside. It was a huge Congratulations Bella cake. It had a picture of a cap and a diploma and was decorated with blue blobs of icing.

"It's a lemon cake. I ordered it from a place in Port Angeles. Do you like it?" Renee asked eagerly.

I smiled. "It's great, Mom, thanks."

Phil was busy unloading packages of hot dogs and hamburgers into the fridge. There were also cases and cases of soda and beer to be put into coolers. I was confused because there didn't seem to be any other food than hot dogs and hamburgers.

"Sue Clearwater is coming up here soon," Renee said, coming back into the kitchen with another white box. "She said she'll bring a few side dishes and we're going to make a couple right here."

I nodded, taking a sip of tea. "What do you want me to make?"

"Don't be silly, Bella. You don't have to make anything."

"I want to help. I don't really want to sit around doing nothing."

She agreed to let me make one thing, if I would leave the rest up to her. She handed me the white box then, her eyes bright with excitement. I opened it up and inside was a pretty blue, green, and purple peasant blouse. I was surprised – my mom and I had pretty different tastes, but this was nice. It wasn't entirely me; not the kind of thing I usually wore, but I figured I could get away with wearing it with my jeans.

"Thanks Mom! It's really pretty," I said, giving her a hug.

"Do you like it? I saw it in Florida before we came, and I couldn't resist getting it."

"I really do," I said. Sue arrived then and we got to work. She had brought a few monstrous bowls of pasta salad and many, many bags of chips. She and Renee began marinating chicken as well.

I noticed there were also a few pies to go along with the cake, and I made an extra dessert; a strawberry cheesecake. Once most of the food was prepared, which took a good portion of the day, I stretched and yawned. I hurriedly finished decorating with Sue's help and changed into my new shirt. Jake would be coming with Billy soon. He showed up after we finished cleaning up the kitchen. He wheeled Billy into the house, parking him in the living room with Charlie and Phil.

Renee and Sue were out back making sure everything was set up. Jake gave me a bear hug that left me gasping for air. "So, let's go get your other present," he whispered against my ear.

"Oh Jake," I sighed. "Fine."

We went out the front door to the Rabbit. He opened the back door of his car and pulled out what looked like a pet carrier. I was confused for a moment and then my jaw dropped and I gasped. Jake had turned the carrier so I could see inside and there was a wiggling, whimpering puppy in it with chocolate-colored fur.

"Jake! You got me a dog??" I squeaked in shock.

He gave me his biggest, sunniest smile. "Someone on the rez was looking for a good home for a few puppies their dog gave birth to. This little girl stood out."

I tentatively slid my fingers between the bars on the door and was met with a flurry of licking and whining. "She's beautiful," I murmured. "But Jake what about Charlie? I don't know if he would mind."

"He won't. I mentioned it to him when I first heard they were selling them and was considering it as a gift. He thought it was a great idea; told me you had always wanted a dog but Renee was allergic and you weren't with Charlie often enough for him to get one."

He grabbed a bag out of the car and we took her inside. In the kitchen, I sat cross-legged on the floor as Jake opened the carrier. She was a small ball of fur as she barreled out of the carrier and leaped onto my lap. I couldn't help laughing as she leaped up, paws on my chest, to lick my face.

"I should have figured right away you would want a dog. You like spending time with me," he snickered. The puppy careened his way after giving my face a bath and began leaping on him.

I rolled my eyes. I watched as he held the puppy, her sharp little teeth gnawing on his finger. "So, what's her name?"

"Well, she doesn't technically have an official name, but I was calling her Qahla." He looked a little embarrassed.

"What does that mean?" I asked, reaching over to run my fingers through the soft, chocolate fur.

"It's a Quileute word. It means sun. I just figured… well, you referred to me as your personal sun, so I thought it seemed fitting…" he trailed off, looking down at the puppy.

I smiled. Shifting forward onto my knees, I leaned in and kissed him. "It's perfect. Qahla it is."

Charlie came in the room then and stopped when he saw the puppy. Qahla raced over to him, stumbling over herself, to leap up for attention. "Gee, reminds me of you," Jake snickered as Charlie leaned down to meet the newest addition.

I jabbed him with my elbow. As everyone who was there trickled in to meet her, I checked the paper bag Jake brought in. There were two bowls, a collar and tag, a leash, a couple toys, a bag of dog food, and a small bag of treats. It seemed that Jacob had thought of everything.

"She seems relatively well-behaved. She's a little over-excited right now, but she's house-trained, she's had her shots and been spayed, and she has been outside without a leash. She stays with you, but you might want to use the leash at first," Jake explained as Qahla came over and curled up in my lap.

I nodded and ran my hand over her soft head. I still couldn't quite believe Jake had gotten me a dog. "Jake, you shouldn't have spent this much. I could have at least gotten the things I'd need for her."

"Well, some of it was for free. The couple who had the puppies gave me the collar, leash, bowls, and a small crate which is still in my car. So, really, I just picked up the tag, toys, food, and treats. They really just wanted to find a good home for all of them; they weren't concerned with a large amount of money."

I leaned my head against his shoulder. "Thank you," I said softly. "She's adorable."

The rest of the guests began arriving, with all my friends from school coming together. The entire wolf pack came, even Leah, which made me a little uncomfortable. She didn't seem to be very welcoming, though she congratulated me. Qahla was a big hit with everyone; I could already tell this dog was going to be so spoiled. I saw Quil trailing behind, holding a little girl, who was contentedly whacking him on the chest with a little wooden spoon.

"That's Claire," Jake said.

She caught sight of Jake and squealed. "Down!" she demanded. Quil put her down and she stumbled toward Jake, arms flailing.

"Unca Jay!" she giggled, throwing her arms around his leg.

"Hey kiddo," Jake replied, picking her up and tossing her in the air. Her squeals and giggles rained down.

She noticed me standing nearby; I felt mildly uncomfortable. I was never that great with kids. She pointed at me. "Who?" She demanded again.

"That's Bella, Claire. She's a friend," Jake said. She reached out toward me and I hesitantly moved closer.

Her little fingers patted at my hair. Then she patted my cheek. "Pwetty," she declared. Emily, Quil, and Jake chuckled. "I agree," Jake added.

I felt a blush creeping up. I touched her little hand. "Thank you, Claire. You're very pretty, too."

She smiled and automatically reached for Quil. He had never turned his gaze from her once; I could see what Jake meant about gravity pulling when you imprinted. And I couldn't help noticing how Jake had held her. It certainly didn't make me want to have a child any time soon, but I couldn't help but feel a little tug seeing Jake hold her. He would make a good father.

The food was brought out and everyone dug in. I perched on a lounge chair with Jake in Charlie's little back yard, Qahla lying next to us and eyeing my food as I ate it.

When the food had been devoured, I got up to get my camera. I hadn't actually used it much, and the one time I had gave me some not very pleasant memories. The scrapbook had been a gift from Renee, though, and I figured I should take some pictures of this to put in it. I sat on the steps outside of the door and watched everyone. Mike, Eric, and Ben were huddled around a table, talking and furtively watching Emily and Sam, Kim and Jared, Quil and Claire. I realized it must seem odd; even I could see the utter fixation of it. I snapped a picture of the three of them.

I took another picture of Sam and Emily smiling at each other, the wolf pack nearby. I also got one of Kim sitting on Jared's lap.

Sue, Renee, Charlie, Phil, and Billy were all together, chatting so I got another picture of that.

Angela was holding Ben's hand, her eyes watching Jessica. Jess's eyes were fixed on Embry's backside and I tried to stifle a giggle. That was definitely a classic shot.

When I turned my camera on Jake, he was staring right at me, his eyes burning with intensity. For a second, the love I could see in his eyes floored me. How on earth do most people wander looking for someone to love when I had had Edward who apparently had loved me that much for a time only to find another boy who loved me so fully? It was hard to fathom. He was still watching me, a small smile curving those full lips of his, Qahla sleeping on his lap. I took his picture.

He stood, carrying the puppy over to sit with me. I leaned against his arm, watching the dark clouds scuttling across the sky, looking low enough to touch. It seemed we would be in for a storm soon; I hoped it would hold off until tomorrow. I glanced over and saw Embry now standing near the edge of the forest, his face angled toward the guys', but his body poised as if he were trying to pay attention to the darkening forest. It gave me a chill, yet I took one more picture of him even though it was an uneasy pose.

Jake noticed my unease. "Bells, take some pictures of Qahla. She wants to play."

I turned and couldn't help giggling as I watched Jake flick a toy in a circle around her, getting her to spin in circles, too. I took some pictures of him and Qahla playing. He took my camera then and got some pictures. Soon I was laughing as I saw the guys' posing ridiculously for Jake.

I sat with Angela and Jess for awhile, letting Jess yak on about how cute Embry was. Even though her talking was incessant, I realized I liked Jess better without Lauren around. She wasn't so bad; she could actually be rather funny. As Angela and Jess chatted about what they were doing for the summer, my mind wandered. I pulled my knees in, resting my chin on them. My mind wandered to the other night when I stopped Jake and me from going further physically. I wanted him so much; I had stopped thinking about how I had originally wanted Edward to be my first and realized that being with Jake was what I really wanted now.

Everything we had done together had been beyond fantastic; he was always gentle, sweet, and exciting. I loved that he was nervous about being with me sometimes. It made me feel better about being nervous. I was a little scared of giving everything of myself over to him when I had already done that with Edward and barely survived it. The thought of losing Jake, especially with imprinting hanging over our heads and the threat that was still unknown – not to mention Victoria – was enough to send me into a panic. But I couldn't deny that I wanted this, so I knew it was going to happen soon. The way he used his hands and his mouth on me was enough to drive the fear away and drive me crazy.

My body already felt heated and warm just thinking about it. I turned and saw Jake watching me. The desire was palpable. I stood up, casually, and told Jess and Angela I'd be right back. My nerves were tingling; I felt the cool strands of grass tickling my toes, the cool breeze raising goose bumps on my skin, and dark eyes burning into my back. Inside I took a deep breath and walked into the living room.

I didn't hear Jake come in; but again I knew he was there. He came up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist.

"What's going through your mind, Bells?" His voice was half-teasing, half-pleading.

I turned my head and he leaned down, his lips touching mine. "This," I said simply.

He placed a hand on my cheek, angling his head to kiss me deeply. His other hand was still around my waist, the tips of his fingers under the waistband of my jeans. Our lips nipped and sucked at each other as he slid his fingers further down my jeans.

"Jake," I groaned softly.

He pulled his fingers back, but then rubbed me through my pants. I broke away from the kiss, panting and arching my hips against his hand. His other hand trailed up my shirt, cupping my breast in his hand. His lips trailed a line of heated kisses along the column of my throat as he continued rubbing me. I reached my arm back and hooked it around his neck.

He pressed his hips against me from behind and I felt how hard he was. He groaned softly into my ear, causing goose bumps to rise on my neck. As much as I wanted him to continue, I knew we couldn't. I did _not_ want to be caught again!

I turned around in his arms and kissed him, our tongues stroking lazily. I sighed, pulling away. "I wish I could stay with you tonight," Jake murmured, irritation in his voice.

"Me too, but you have most of the night tomorrow, don't you?" I asked, my fingers tickling along the back of his neck.

"Yeah, thankfully. I'll be here at eight o'clock sharp, too."

I laughed. "You, um, okay to go back outside now?" I asked, a little grin twitching my lips.

"How about you check for me?" he replied with a devilish grin. He took my hand and guided me down.

"Jake!" I said, laughing. But I did make sure to check, just to tease him. He sighed.

"Okay you better stop or I _won't_ be able to go back outside."

************************************************************************

Back outside I sat down with Angela and Jess. Jess turned toward me and started laughing.

Confused, I glanced down at myself unsure of why she was laughing.

"Uh, Bella, your hair is kind of… messy," Angela said gently, a smile twitching her lips. "And well, you just look sort of rumpled like you've been kissed really good."

I groaned and my cheeks warmed. "Great," I muttered.

Jessica snickered again. "He must be a damn good kisser if you look like that. I wonder if Embry is a good kisser," she added as she turned again to stare at him.

Angela and I rolled our eyes at each other as I discreetly smoothed my shirt and my hair. Angela gave me a nod of approval. Qahla was perched comfortably on Charlie's lap, snoozing. I grinned at the picture it made. Apparently, Charlie loved dog's, too, so this would work out just fine.

I went in the house to bring the cake out and Renee followed me. "Are you having fun, sweetie?" she asked, biting her lip. I felt bad suddenly for my non-party attitude before. Especially since I was having fun.

"I really am, Mom. Thank you for suggesting the idea to Dad; we both know he never would have had a party if it weren't for you," I replied, giving her a hug.

She laughed. "True. I'm glad you're enjoying yourself. Now, tell me, are you and Jacob sleeping together?"

I nearly choked on the soda I was drinking. "What? Um, excuse me?" I stuttered, a little taken aback by the abrupt change in topic.

"I see the way he looks at you, Bella. And I see the way you look at him; a little more reserved and careful about it, but it's there. He seems more important than just a boyfriend," she observed. Renee was an observant person when she wanted to be, but she was also pretty flighty.

"N-no, we aren't," I murmured, looking away.

"But you want to." She stated it like fact.

I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. She laughed softly. "Oh Bella. Charlie told me he had _the talk_ with you, even though we covered that a long time ago. After what happened with Edward…"

I flinched.

She laid a hand on my cheek. "Charlie said this is the happiest he's seen you. And Jacob certainly looks at you like you're the only thing he wants in the world. I just wanted to say be careful, Bella, and do what you want for you not just for him."

And somehow my mother hit it right on the head.

I nodded and she smiled and grabbed the napkins and extra forks and we went back outside to cut the cake.

The party came to an end shortly after. I said goodbye to my high school friends, got crushing hugs from the whole wolf pack and their girlfriends – minus Leah. Even Paul, which made me realize he was coming around. I knew my mom and Phil would be back tomorrow before they left to go back to Jacksonville later in the day. I waved goodbye to Sue and Billy and then just stood there, the feeling of being tired washing over me in waves.

Charlie insisted on my _not_ helping to clean up.

Inside Jake and I sprawled out on the sofa, the television playing some corny black-and-white movie. I knew he was tired, too, and he had a pretty full night of patrolling yet. He wrapped his arms around me, and I laid my head back on his chest. I smiled as Qahla curled up on Jake's legs.

What seemed to be only moments later, I heard Charlie calling my name. I blinked my eyes open, still half-asleep. "Huh?" I muttered. Jake stirred behind me.

Jake's head was nestled in the top corner of the sofa, and he was snoring. His arms were still wrapped around me. I was laying half on top of him, my head on his chest. I glanced up at Charlie. He looked vaguely disapproving, and if I were more awake I would probably be blushing.

"You've been sleeping for an hour and a half. I think it's time for Jacob to head home so you can get some sleep," he said, raising an eyebrow at me.

I yawned and nudged Jake. "Hmm. What?" he mumbled blinking his eyes open. Charlie slipped quietly out of the room.

"Jake it's nearly ten o'clock. You have to patrol soon, right?"

He groaned and yawned. "Yeah, I do. I guess I should get going." He stood and stretched and Qahla whined.

"I'll see you tomorrow after work, right?" he said, pulling me close to him.

"Yeah." I smiled. "Jake? Thank you for Qahla."

He kissed me gently, reaching down to rub his hand over the puppy's head. She was already adjusting quite well; she was hunkered down on the couch, looking incredibly content. We both laughed.

"You're welcome. 'Night Bells," he said.

I picked Qahla up and carried her upstairs. I poked my head in Charlie's open doorway. "Thank you, Dad. For the party."

He turned around. "You're welcome, Bella." He gave me a tired grin.

I put Qahla in her crate and hoped that she would be okay with that. She whined while I got ready for bed, but she settled down when I laid down and pulled the covers up. I watched my new puppy fall asleep quickly and begin snoring. I giggled and fell asleep with a grin on my face.

The next morning, I woke up a little later than I normally did. It felt so good to sleep in, I thought, as I stretched. I got up and changed and took Qahla out to go to the bathroom and then got her breakfast. She settled into the new routine pretty easily, and I got plenty of laughs at watching her race in a circle in the yard when I took her out.

Charlie came down and even he was more smiley than usual – probably because Qahla was playing with her toy and made him toss it for her around the kitchen. I made breakfast for myself and Charlie. As he cleaned up, I sat in the living room playing with the puppy, half watching televison, until Renee and Phil stopped over a couple hours later.

Renee sat on the floor with me in the living room and I rested my head on her shoulder. "I'm going to miss you, Mom," I said quietly.

"Oh honey. I'm going to miss you, too. So much!" She squeezed me tight and then reached into her purse for something. "Maybe this will help, though."

Confused, I turned the envelope over. When I opened it, I gasped. "Plane tickets? To come visit you?"

"Of course, silly. Two of them. One for you and one for Jacob for whenever you can make it this summer."

My eyes widened in surprise. I didn't know if Jake would be able to go somewhere what with all that was going on, but the generosity of the gift was overwhelming. I let the daydream take over for a moment as I imagined me and Jake flying to Jacksonville to visit Renee and Phil. We could lay on the beach and swim in the ocean together; we could soak up the warm sunshine and be outside all day; we could stay in while Renee and Phil were at work and make love. I bit my lip as that thought popped into my head. It was incredibly enticing.

I had been envisioning how our first time should be lately and I was drawn into it again. In my thoughts, I had imagined us alone in my room. I would have prepared for this by having condoms in my nightstand, by taking a shower and wearing a pair of the lace underwear with my nicest bra. Jake would undress me as the cool breeze from outside would waft gently into my room, though I'd be warm from Jake's body heat. He would lay me down and kiss away all my inhibitions and anxiety and it would be so sweet. I couldn't help the thoughts; don't most girls want their first time to be perfect?

I shook my head to clear the thoughts and threw my arms around my mom. "Thank you," I whispered. "I have to see if Jake can get away, but I would love it if we could come visit you and Phil."

She kissed my forehead. We went into the kitchen to make a little lunch before she and Phil had to leave. When they were done, we drove them to the airport. Hugs and tears were exchanged as we bid each other goodbye. The ride home was quiet. Charlie and I finished cleaning up from the party and I was in my room with Qahla when he poked his head in later.

"Bells, I'm going to heat up some leftovers for dinner. You want anything?"

"No thanks. I'm not that hungry," I replied, watching Qahla pounce on her toy. I chuckled and then watched her charge Charlie's leg. He laughed, too, and threw her ball across my room. We watched her chubby little legs race across the room.

"Anyway, Bells, I got a call from the station. I have to go in for a few hours tonight. One of my deputies is out sick and I'm the only one that can cover him. I will probably only work until ten thirty tonight, so I won't be too late. You okay on your own?"

I felt guilty about keeping the fact that Jacob was coming over a secret now that he wasn't going to be around. "I'll be fine," I murmured.

I heard him bustling around downstairs and then heard him leaving. Outside I heard a rumble of thunder and the rain started. We were getting that storm they were calling for. I picked up my book and began reading. I lost track of time when the doorbell rang. It was eight o'clock on the dot; Jake was here. I hurried down the stairs, Qahla on my heels. My heart banged away at the sight of Jake when I opened the door. He gave me his sunny grin, and it triggered my automatic smile in return. Once he closed the door behind him, _I_ was the one doing the pouncing. Jake caught me as I latched onto him, my lips crashing against his. He groaned and kissed me back eagerly. I felt his hands snake down my back, moving lower.

My eyes popped open in surprise when I felt a resounding smack on my backside.

Jake started laughing at me. "Sorry, Bells, I couldn't resist," he teased.

I rolled my eyes.

"Anyway, um, isn't your dad here?" he asked, looking around hesitantly.

"Nope. He's covering a few hours at the station for one of his deputies who called in sick. He won't be back until nearly eleven." I casually pushed away from him and strolled back up the steps.

I heard his chuckle and before I knew it, he was behind me, scooping me up and carrying me to my room. He laid me down on my bed, leaning over me and supporting his weight on his hands. His lips brushed mine softly, lingering to flick his tongue over my lips. I reached up and hooked my hands around the back of his neck, keeping him right where I wanted him.

Suddenly, there was a wet nose poking the side of our faces and we broke away. Qahla was sitting on the bed by my head, her little head cocked to the side watching us. We both laughed.

"Everyone had a good time at the party last night," Jake said as he sat down next to me. He picked up the puppy, rubbing her until she was staring at him lovingly.

"Yeah, Jess certainly seemed to enjoy herself… and the view." I snickered at the thought.

Jake laughed. "Yeah. Embry noticed." A crack of lightning in the distance illuminated my room with its glow.

We stretched out on the bed as best as we could with Qahla between us. I watched as he dangled his fingers over her head and she would try and jump to catch them.

"Hey Jake?"

"Yeah, Bells?" He rolled the puppy over, tickling her stomach.

"Renee gave me two plane tickets to go to Jacksonville sometime this summer. The other one is for you." I bit my lip.

He looked up, surprised. "She got a plane ticket for me?"

"Yeah. I'm not sure I'll even go; I can't leave Charlie and now Qahla behind with what's going on here."

"You should go. You know the pack will look after Charlie."

"What about you?" I said quietly.

"I would _love_ to go to Jacksonville with you, Bella. I can talk to Sam, but if he says no there won't be much I can do."

I nodded. "I figured. Well, maybe we should just wait and see how things go."

He agreed and we resumed playing with the puppy. As I lay on the bed, watching Qahla chase her tail on the floor, my mind wandered. Jake deserved to go away somewhere, and I would love to see Renee again, but I couldn't stop the worry. How could I leave Charlie behind with the danger that no one was close to figuring out yet? I knew the pack was capable of protecting him, but it still scared me. Yet I wanted to go pretty badly and I wanted Jake there with me. It was a confusing mess and I was no closer to figuring out what would be the best thing to do. I smiled as Jake rolled Qahla on her back again, his big hands so gentle on her little body. My Jacob.

And out of nowhere, something clicked for me. It's funny how something so simple can strike you the hardest when you least suspect it.

My heart was beginning to pound. I was going to do this. Jake had gotten up to put the puppy in her crate and laid the blanket on top. With no doubts in my mind, I stood and pulled my t-shirt over my head. My hands hurriedly unbuttoned and pushed down my jeans while his back was turned. I stood there, a little shaky.

"Jake?"

He turned and his eyes widened.

I stood there in my simple white bra, white and blue striped panties, unshaved legs and was just ready.

"I want to make love with you," I whispered.

************************************************************************


	15. First Time

_Little trip to heaven _

_on the wings of your love  
Banana moon is shining in the sky  
I feel like I'm in heaven _

_when your with me  
I know that I'm in heaven _

_when you smile  
Though we're stuck here on the ground  
I got something I've found  
And it's you_

_-Tom Waits "Little Trip to Heaven"_

************************************************************************

I stood still, listening to the rain drumming the roof, the distant rumbles of thunder as Jake stood rooted in that same spot. His mouth had dropped open, his eyes traveled a path along the length of my body. I locked eyes with him then, and I felt as if I had been punched in the stomach when I saw the desire in his eyes.

I reached out for him the same moment he snapped out of his spell. Before I could take a breath, Jake had taken hold of my face gently, his lips against mine. The kiss was rough in its urgency. My skin was on fire as he explored – hands shaking – from my face and neck, down my chest and stomach, to my thighs. His hands curved around my thighs to cup my backside. With no effort at all, he lifted me. I wrapped my arms around his neck, my legs around his waist. I was tired of pulling away; I had wanted Jake so much for awhile now. It was time to let go of my inhibitions and just be with him.

Jake lowered me down to the bed, hovering over me, his lips never moving from mine. When our tongues finally untwined from each other, he pulled back to look at me.

"Bells, are you sure about this?" he whispered, his lips traveling along my cheekbone now.

"Positive," I whispered back.

I reinforced my statement by unbuttoning his jean shorts. A small groan escaped from his lips. His dark eyes met mine as he unzipped his pants. I was half-lying on my bed, propped up on my elbows. My eyes were glued to his hands as he pushed his pants all the way down and kicked them to the side. I swallowed hard, my eyes on his legs. When I made myself look back up, I was met with a very aroused Jacob Black.

My lips parted in surprise, my eyes widening a bit as I took his naked body in completely. His smooth chest was something I was used to seeing, but I drank in the sight of it as if seeing it for the first time. I sat up, my hands following the path now. I slid my fingertips along his chest, brushing them against his nipples. A soft groan escaped his lips as he let me continue my exploration. I ran my hands up over his broad shoulders, down the length of his arms. Soft skin over corded muscle.

His stomach quivered when I traced the lines of muscle, moving over the V that extended down to a part of his anatomy I wasn't that familiar with. As sure as I was about this, I couldn't help feeling a bit nervous and shy as my fingers brushed against the hard length of him. He was perfect; so beautiful.

I felt rather than heard Jake's rumble.

I trailed my fingers down his thighs and then Jake was hauling me up against him, his teeth nipping at my earlobe, my jaw, my chin. My head fell back as he attacked my throat with kisses. Dazed with the onslaught, he let me slide down his body. He sat on the edge of my bed and pulled me onto his lap, my knees coming to rest on either side of him.

He buried one hand in my hair, gently tugging it back so my back arched. "Mmmm, perfect," he murmured as his lips and tongue made lazy sweeps over my cleavage.

I felt the dampness in my panties as he gently pulled me back up again, his other hand stroking up and down my back. He traced a heart on my back with his fingertips. I nuzzled my face into his shoulder, inhaling his pine, rain, and cinnamon scent, before biting the sensitive spot between his neck and shoulder. Before I could react, Jake had me on my back and was hovering over me. I smiled, reaching up to stroke my fingers through the hair hanging in his face, pulling it back so I could see him better. He stroked the backs of his fingers down my neck, my chest, against the sides of my breasts and down my sides. I giggled and squirmed a little at the ticklish feeling.

His smile was so sweet, though I could see uncertainty in his eyes. "Bells?" he whispered, his eyes meeting mine hesitantly.

"Yeah, Jake?" I pulled his face down and planted a row of kisses over his cheek, the bridge of his nose, to his other cheek.

"I'm a little… nervous." When I looked up at him, I could see the faint blush staining his russet cheeks.

"So am I," I confessed.

His lips brushed against mine. "Just tell me what you like, what you want, okay?" he whispered.

"Everything you're doing is perfect," I said. "Make sure you tell me, too, okay?"

With that out of the way, Jacob began kissing me again. Our desire for each other, our uncertainty bound us together. My arms tightened around his back, reaching up to bury my hands in his soft hair as the kiss sent a bolt of heat between my legs. As our tongues played with each other, finding our unique rhythm, Jake stroked a hand up my side. My back arched a bit off the bed, and in the next second, his hands were under my back. My bra loosened and he pulled it off me, exposing my breasts.

I bit my lip as his eyes met mine, heat seeking heat. I was completely lost in his gaze, and he only had eyes for me. As his lips closed around my right nipple, he kept his eyes on mine. "Ohh, Jake…" I whimpered, unable and unwilling to break our gaze.

He cupped both my breasts, and I murmured in protest when he stopped suckling on me. He gently pushed them up and together, and he bathed both of them in open-mouthed kisses. My hips bucked up into his, craving more of his touch. He sat back and hooked his fingers in my panties.

"You okay, Bells, honey?" he murmured, his fingers shaking.

"Yes, oh yes," I murmured. "Take them off, Jacob."

He obliged, pulling my panties down and sliding them down my legs. Then I was completely exposed to him for the first time. My cheeks flushed, and so did my chest, as he reverently took me in with those beautiful eyes of his. I squirmed a little, wanting to cover myself, but Jake pinned my arms at my sides. He was sitting back on his heels between my legs looking at me.

I had a perfect view of his impressive erection, and I swallowed hard, wondering if he would fit inside of me.

"Bella," he said his voice so much huskier than normal. "You are so beautiful." He gave me that sunny Jacob smile and I relaxed.

Jake lowered his mouth to my stomach, just above the juncture between my thighs. I gasped as his kisses tickled my stomach and caused his chin to brush against my curls. Every part of my body felt ignited. He lowered his face briefly, and I couldn't stop the whimper as his lips brushed against my curls. My whole body was shaking as Jake immediately moved back up, kissing his way up my stomach. His soft lips trailed over my breasts, tracing a path down my arms until they rested in the crook of my elbow. I felt his tongue flick out and taste me.

I tugged on his hair. I wanted him and I wanted him now. I wrapped my arms around him, holding him as tightly as I could. I could feel him pressed against my thigh, and he was kissing me over and over, until I was nearly breathless.

Suddenly, a thought occurred to me. "Jake," I gasped. "I… I don't have any… protection," I whispered. How could I forget? I felt the frustration well up at my stupidity.

He smiled a little. "Its okay, Bells. I have two condoms in my jeans pocket."

Relief mingled with nerves. Then I raised an eyebrow at him as what he said sunk in. "You have condoms?"

He gave me a sheepish look. "It was just in case, honey. And anyway, both Sam and Billy had given me one the night of the prom."

"_Billy_ gave you one?" I exclaimed, my eyes widening. He laughed.

"Yes," he murmured, kissing me again as he snagged his pants and pulled the condoms out.

I forgot everything when Jake ripped the wrapper open. We both snickered when the condom popped out and landed on my stomach. Jake's hands shook while he unrolled it over himself. When he managed to get it on, we both leaned in to kiss and bumped foreheads.

Jake laughed softly. "First time jitters," he murmured.

I giggled, a little embarrassed. I pulled him back down and he kissed me with all the pent up emotion of a horny sixteen year old in love. Jake leaned on one arm and stroked his fingers over the inside of my thighs. I expelled a shaky breath as he traced his fingers in patterns, slowly moving them up my thigh.

"Uh… Jake… mmm," I managed to gasp as his fingers stroked over my heat, as he brushed against the spot I wanted.

He continued to stroke me until he had himself positioned right at my opening. As he began to push into me, I concentrated on Jake's kisses, our tongues tasting each others lips. I winced as he pushed himself further into me.

My fingers were digging into his shoulders. "Bells, are you okay?" His voice was hoarse.

"It hurts a little," I whispered, feeling a little burning sensation as I was stretched further. "Just go slow," I said, kissing his mouth to reassure him. He looked so worried.

He continued to move further into me until he pushed past the barrier. There was a pinch of pain, I winced, but held Jake tightly so he wouldn't retreat. I urged him on and then he was fully sheathed inside of me. Sweat dripped down my temple, from the exertion and from Jake's body heat. The pain had subsided, so I went on instinct and wrapped my legs around his waist. A streak of lightning lit the sky again making Jake look even more beautiful.

He gave a guttural groan, exciting me further. I tangled my fingers in his hair, arching my hips against his as he gently pulled back and thrust himself into me. The sensation was incredible as he slowly continued, and I managed to match his rhythm. I stroked my fingers up and down his back, feeling the ripple of his muscles. Gasps and moans were ripped from my throat as he filled me, stroking nerve endings inside of me.

I was finished with slow; I wanted him to go faster as the feelings increased. I felt as if I'd explode. "Jake," I whimpered. "Go faster. Please."

I grabbed at his hips as he thrust into me over and over, faster and faster. My body was on fire as his lips stroked over my eyelids, my nose, my lips, and my neck. I was stroking his sides when he caught my hands, interlacing his fingers with mine, and pinning them over my head. He leaned forward further and he hit the spot that was aching to be touched.

I cried out. "Ohhh, uh... Jake... do that again," I panted. A boom of thunder echoed outside.

"Oh Bells…" he managed to gasp against my lips. "I'm not going to last much longer." He pumped his hips against mine so fast, leaning forward again.

I tightened my legs around him, kissing him frantically, as my stomach tightened and the heat pooled right along that nub of flesh he was brushing against.

"Uhhh… Bella… I love you," Jake managed to say. He kept his eyes locked on mine as he pushed me over the edge.

My back arched as my climax claimed me, and the heat ricocheted all over my body as I let out a cry. Jake gripped me tighter as his body spasmed and he cried out as he followed right after and came inside of me. He released my hands and he plunged his into my hair, kissing me eagerly as he continued to thrust a little into me. Our bodies slowed, sweat-slicked and hot, as we held each other. He kissed me again, his eyes still locked on mine.

He rolled to the side, pulling me with him. He pulled slowly out of me and disposed of the condom. I sighed contentedly, snuggling into him. He stroked his fingertips over my face.

"I've thought of this so many times, Bella," he murmured softly. "It was better than I ever imagined."

I smiled and blushed a little as he met my gaze. "It really was," I replied. I dragged my fingers through his hair and over his scalp and watched as he practically purred with pleasure.

"Are you okay?" he asked sweetly. His dark eyes were concerned. "I didn't hurt you, did I?"

"No, no. I'm fine, Jake. You made it perfect," I said shyly, sliding my arm under his so I could move closer to him. I kissed his chin and realized I felt exhausted.

He draped his arm over me, resting it along the length of my back, while tangling his fingers in my hair. As my eyelids grew heavy, Jake tipped my chin up one more time and pressed his lips against mine. "Bells," he whispered, his voice slow and husky. "I just made love with my best friend."

I grinned. "Me too, Jake," I whispered.

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**JPOV:**

I woke to the sound of a howl outside. Embry was signaling me that it was time for me to patrol. It was too bad because I really had no desire to get off this bed. Bella was tucked into me, her head under my chin, her arms and legs twined with mine. I felt that melting sensation in my chest as I looked down at her small body. God, I loved her so damn much. I was aware she hadn't said I love you back earlier, but it didn't matter to me. There was no doubt in my mind that Bella was in love with me, too. The way she looked at me, the way she touched me, and the fact that she was ready to sleep with me was a huge indication. She would say it when she was ready.

I couldn't believe I had slept with Bella. Her body was so incredibly amazing. I barely had any words for how she looked laying naked in front of me, how it felt to be buried inside of her, feeling how tight and wet she was. And the sounds she made nearly sent me over the edge before I managed to give her an orgasm. I was so thankful I was able to get her to come before I did. I had heard the horror stories from friends at school and the guys in the pack. It seemed Jared had a little trouble with that when he first slept with Kim; man, was he _pissed_ when he let that slip into his thoughts.

Bella stirred in my arms. "Mmm, Jacob," she whispered. I looked down, but she was still asleep. "You feel good," she muttered before falling silent. I tried to hold in the laugh and the feeling of pride. Apparently it was good for her, too.

Reluctantly, I carefully unwound myself from her arms. She whimpered; her brow furrowed when I moved away from her. I kissed the corner of her mouth and her face smoothed out. I grabbed my pants and opened the door, carefully easing out and down the steps. I was thankful I remembered to lock Bella's door as I walked past Charlie's door and heard him snoring. Outside, I took off at a run and phased on the fly, running noiselessly through the yard into the forest.

Immediately the voices started.

_What took so damn long?_ Paul snarled at me.

_Geez, Jake, she'll be fine for a couple hours. _Leah sounded annoyed. And vaguely jealous which surprised me.

_All right, all right, settle down_, Sam said with a sigh. _Jake, it's you, Quil, Embry, and Leah in this section" _he said. _Paul, Jared, and I will take the other section. Colin, Brady, and Seth will replace you, Leah, and Jared around five,_ he added.

We trotted off to patrol. I was trying so hard to keep my thoughts away from Bella, but the image of me pinning her hands down, her chocolate eyes glazed with desire and locked onto mine as I thrust into her came with no warning.

_What?! _Quil practically yelled. _You had sex with Bella tonight??_

_Jakey-boy is all grown-up now_, Leah snickered.

_Woah, dude, nice!_ _That hot, little body…_ Paul started to say until I interrupted him.

_Shut the hell up, Paul,_ I snarled.

_Thought you'd be in a better mood finally getting to bang Bella_, Jared said with a laugh.

I just gave a warning snarl in response, trying to keep my thoughts quiet. Embry nudged me with his nose. I glanced over at him. _I'm happy for you, Jake, _was all he said.

I relaxed a little and gave him a nudge back. _Thanks._

Thankfully everyone calmed down a little after that, but I was peppered with questions now and then. They wanted to know how it was and I couldn't stop some minor images. Luckily, with extreme force of will, I managed to keep her nakedness at bay and the more intimate moments. I didn't want anyone to see her naked other than me. Leah was oddly quiet as we sniffed around the perimeter keeping an eye on things. The storm had mostly moved on, though there were faint rumblings in the distance. The rain dripped from the leaves, the only other sound in the forest.

The hours drug by. I just wanted to be back in bed with Bella. I was trying to control my thoughts about her again when I heard Embry snarl. My head shot up as I listened. There was no sound, but I felt as if I were being watched. I spun around, but didn't see anything. The fur on the back of my neck stood up. Leah, Embry, and Quil all looked alert and wary.

Suddenly it felt like nothing was there. We hurried around the perimeter checking, but nothing came up.

_We felt something Sam. Nothing was seen, but it felt like we were being watched. Whatever it was is gone now, though_, I reported.

Sam, Jared, and Paul checked out their area, but nothing. Our replacements were coming in, though, and my mind shot back to Bella; about climbing into bed with her, touching her…

Everyone groaned. _Just go,_ Quil muttered. _Give us details later._

_Yeah right,_ I muttered before taking off. I ran as fast as I could back to Bella. I eased my way inside and slipped back into her room, closing the door behind me. When I looked at her, I groaned softly. She was lying on her back, one bare arm flung over her head, and the blanket had moved down enough to expose a mouth-watering breast. It had been such a turn-on to watch her breasts move as I thrust myself into her. One of her legs hung down the side of the bed and the creamy expanse of skin made me want to kiss my way up her leg.

I sighed, pulling my shorts off, and climbed back into the bed. As soon as I lay down, Bella moaned softly and rolled, pressing herself against me. Her soft breasts pressed against my chest and I knew I was going to have a problem. I was already hard, but I wanted Bella to get some more sleep. Trying to will my erection down, I wrapped my arms around my Bella and tried to think of things that would help calm me down. When I felt a little better, I gave in to a restless sleep.

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It seemed like only moments had passed when I woke up, but a glance at the clock told me we had about a half hour until Charlie would be up and getting ready for work. Bella was on her stomach and the covers exposed her back. Her back was smooth and looked so delicate. I pushed the covers down until it displayed the swell of her backside.

I brushed my lips against that spot, and I felt her twitch a little. I kissed each bump of her spine, traveling my way up her back until I reached the back of her neck. She tasted incredible. I gently swept her hair off her neck and kissed her. I began kissing my way back down when she woke. She turned her face toward me, her eyes sleepy.

"Jake," she mumbled. "That feels so good."

I smiled against her back and moved up, tugging her gently so that her back was pressed to my front. My fingers trailed from her delicate collarbone, to her shoulder, down to her arm where I laced my fingers with hers. I pulled her arm back and up so her hand curved around my neck.

My dick was throbbing as it pressed against her from behind. And I nearly lost it when she pushed her backside against me. I groaned into her neck.

"Jake, I want you," she moaned, her voice throaty with sleep.

I reached over her to grab the other condom off the nightstand. I unrolled it quickly onto myself and hooked my hand under her knee, pulling her leg back over mine. My breathing was coming faster, as I slid my tongue along her neck to just behind her ear. Soft little gasps and moans were coming from Bella, and I hurriedly reached down and guided myself right to that warm opening.

With a quick, gentle thrust I was inside of her again. It was heaven. Her arm tightened around my neck and she pushed back against me. My hips began moving as I pushed myself over and over into that wet heat. My one arm was under her neck and I pinched her nipple with that hand and felt her shudder and groan. Loudly.

"Jake… oh… oh… yes," she cried softly.

I slid my other hand between her thighs, stroking that soft nub and she began moving faster against me. Her cries were a little louder and I had to use my hand to cover her mouth as I thrust faster and stroked harder. My hips were pumping and I was losing control. My own grunts and groans were coming faster and louder, so I buried my face in her thick hair.

One more stroke and we both broke apart. I was helpless as I continued thrusting and released heavily. Her cries were muffled under my hand as her back arched and she wiggled against me.

I was panting as I eased out of her and disposed of the condom. She rolled over and cuddled into me. I stroked her messy hair out of her face. As I glanced down at her, I saw her looking at me; a little shy, a little embarrassed. I couldn't help but laugh, because I felt a little shy myself. That had been incredible.

We had no words as we lay there together. Then I heard Charlie's footsteps approach the door. Damn, not again! Bella's eyes widened in shock and I darted out of her bed.

"Closet," she hissed. I ducked into the closet and saw her clasp her blankets to her chin.

"Bells?" Charlie's voice came through the door.

"Yeah, Dad?" Her voice was a little higher than normal.

"I'm sorry, I know it's early. I didn't get to talk to you last night, and I just wanted to let you know that I'll be working a couple hours overtime today."

"Oh. Okay. I'll see you tonight then," she said, her voice going back to her normal pitch.

"Okay. We'll be going to Jake and Billy's tonight for dinner, so you don't have to worry about cooking anything."

After he left, I unfolded myself and squeezed out of the closet. Bella turned toward me and bit her lip. Her gaze shot straight down and I felt a little smirk sneak out. "I know I'm really sexy, Bella, but you're going to make me blush if you keep staring like that." I couldn't resist teasing her.

Her cheeks flushed and she averted her eyes. "Well, we don't want you getting a swelled head," she muttered sarcastically.

I laughed. "That's not the _only_ thing that's going to swell."

She dropped her face in her palms with a giggle. I smiled and sat on the bed, tilting her face up for a kiss. "Now come on, I'm starving. I'll make us breakfast."

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**BPOV:**

I couldn't help giggling watching Jake rustle through the refrigerator, looking entirely confused about what to do. As I watched him try to decide what he would make, and smirked at just how he would go about it, I couldn't help reflecting back on last night. I had no idea up until I took my clothes off that I was ready for a physical relationship with Jacob. It had also surprised me; I was nervous, I figured it would hurt, but I completely lost myself in the feel of his body inside me, brushing against me, surrounding me. And the feelings had been intense. I felt my body warm a bit remembering it.

I wiggled around in my chair, trying to think of other things. It was just the two of us in the house, but I needed to go to work so I had to settle down. It didn't help that Jake had insisted I wear only underwear while we ate breakfast. Since I vetoed eating naked, we compromised on a tank top with no bra and underwear. I blushed as I glanced down at myself, but couldn't hide my pleasure that Jake liked how I looked.

Lost in my thoughts, I came to when Jake plopped a bowl and cereal down. I couldn't help laughing.

"Nice, Jake. This is what I get for breakfast?" I teased.

"Well, unless you want runny eggs and burnt bacon, this is your best bet." He smirked as he dumped cereal in our bowls and added milk.

I rolled my eyes at him and gave a squeak of surprise as he hauled me up out of my chair and onto his lap.

"Jake," I protested.

He just smiled innocently. "Eat, Bella or you'll be late for work."

I gave him a look, but we ate our cereal. And we took every opportunity to brush against certain parts of each other's bodies. It was one of the most interesting meals I ever had. Jake finished three bowls to my one. As he cleaned up the sink, I went back upstairs to get dressed. When I came back down, he was leaning against the counter waiting for me.

"I'll see you tonight, Bells," he whispered, tugging me against him and burying his face in my hair.

I was reluctant to leave. His hands stroked a lazy path down my back, giving my rear end a squeeze. I tried not to groan and he chuckled.

"Yeah, I'll see you tonight," I whispered back. "And I won't be wearing any underwear." In retaliation, I brushed my hand against his crotch and walked out the door.

I couldn't help risking a glance over my shoulder. He was still standing stock-still, his eyes wide, but with a hint of a grin beginning to curl his lips. I giggled quietly to myself and headed for what was sure to be the longest work-day of my life.

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**A/N: That first love scene took me what felt like forever to write! I don't usually take awhile in writing through one of those, so feel free to review and tell me what you think. ;) Reviews are my own personal brand of heroin! Haha.**


	16. Revelation

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Mike was chatting all through our shift whenever he had the chance. It was driving me a little crazy as my mind kept wandering back to last night. I realized as I was working that I felt a little sore. Muscles I was sure never hurt before bothered me a little bit, too. And unfortunately that reminded me of the dreaded gynecologist appointment I should make. I was going to have to make a trip for that, too, because I really didn't want that kind of appointment here in Forks. The doctors' here knew Charlie and I wasn't eager for him to hear first-hand that I came in for the appointment and asked for a prescription for birth control. It was going to be bad enough that he would get the bill, but at least I could attempt to explain that a lot of people start their yearly visits around my age.

When work was done, I called a quick good-bye to Mike and headed home. Jake had blocked Qahla in the kitchen with the door of her crate open so she could nap in it. She leaped all over me in excitement when I walked in. I grinned, rubbing her soft head and took her out. Then I tossed her ball around the kitchen and let her go to town. With my heart thumping a little faster than normal, I paged through the phone book and found a clinic in Port Angeles. It would take me a little over an hour to get there, so I figured I'd make the most of it and go to the bookstore, maybe do a little clothes shopping. Not something I particularly wanted to do, but I did need some new clothes. I called and made the appointment and got lucky enough to get one the next day since they had had a cancellation and it wasn't a huge place.

I called Billy then. "Hey Billy," I said when he answered the phone.

"Hi Bella. Jake's in the garage working; do you want me to give him a message? I'm sure he'll be heading in soon to eat most of what's in the refrigerator."

I laughed. "No, I was just calling to see if you wanted me to bring something tonight."

"No cooking for you tonight, Bella. We're throwing some chicken and potatoes on the grill."

"How about just a salad?" I felt bad going empty-handed.

"All right, but _just_ a salad." He sounded very stern.

I snickered. "Got it. I'll see you later then."

When I hung up the phone, I prepared a salad. I made two bowls of it. Jake wasn't a big leaf eater, but he was going to eat some tonight. Once that was ready, I went upstairs and showered – with Qahla racing around in the bathroom - and changed into a denim skirt that hung to just below my knees and a cream-colored sweater. As promised, I didn't put any underwear on and felt that it was completely obvious that I didn't.

Charlie came home while I was alternately reading on the couch and teasing the puppy. Of course my mind had been flashing to all kinds of things I didn't want to be thinking about around my father. He didn't even know anything, and I still felt rather warm. He showered and then he grabbed the salad, and I grabbed Qahla, and we drove to La Push.

As soon as Charlie parked, I saw Jake walking down from the garage, and I practically barreled out of the truck.

"Bells!" he exclaimed, and we both paused a moment. Our eyes were locked on each other and the air practically sizzled between us, memories catching hold and weaving their spell. I ran toward him, and he caught the whirlwind that was me and Qahla.

The puppy barked and squirmed, licking Jake wherever she could reach as he pulled me into him and kissed me hungrily. Everything had melted away; Charlie seeing this, Billy seeing this. Time and everything else no longer seemed to exist as his warm lips devoured mine. I couldn't have moved even if I tried; I couldn't get enough of Jacob.

Finally the throat clearing coming from behind me pulled us out of our little bubble. Charlie was watching us, a peculiar look on his face, and he was slightly red. His mouth opened and closed a couple times and then he just muttered to himself and went inside. I groaned, burying my face in Jake's chest, while he snickered.

"I think he knows," I whispered.

"Only one way to find out," he answered, taking Qahla from me and leading me closer to the open window.

We heard the squeak of Billy's chair and Charlie's sigh. "Billy? I think… um, well I think… our kids are more… well…"

Billy laughed softly. "Intimate?"

I could practically hear Charlie blush. And I know I did.

"Yeah…" his voice trailed off. "I don't think I like this. I mean, I know Jake cares about her…" he seemed to struggle with what he wanted to say.

"She's my little girl," he said. "And she's so… serious about relationships, but so young. So is Jacob. I don't want her hurt."

Billy sighed. "Charlie, I think it's just something that needs to be accepted. We can not want it all we like, but in the end? Not much we can do. And though they're young, I get the impression this is more than just puppy-love."

Charlie didn't reply and it got quiet. We quickly slipped away, back into the yard. Qahla was running in circles around us as we stood there. "Puppy-love," Jake mused. "How appropriate."

Even though this was a little more serious, I couldn't help giggling. He grinned and the mood lightened. I could always push the clouds away when my personal sun smiled at me. Since the rain was holding off, Jake decided we should try and train Qahla a bit more. I worried about her running off, though she hadn't done that yet, but Jake laughed and reminded me he could catch her easily.

He let her off the leash and held her in place. She wasn't paying attention; she kept trying to lick him. We would show her things that would get her excited, but as soon as she'd get further than we liked, Jake would call her. She would turn and cock her head at us after awhile, realizing we wanted her to come back. Jake went inside and got a few dog treats he had kept there. She got the hang of it when the treats were involved. It took a few tries, but she stayed with us even when something caught her attention.

"Hey, let's train her to protect you," Jake said spontaneously.

I glanced over at him just in time to see him lunge for me. I couldn't help letting loose a little shriek. I barely managed to take two steps before Jake swept me up, growling. Qahla immediately started barking, her little rear end up in the air. Jake pretended to wrestle me to the ground while I tried unsuccessfully not to laugh or shriek at his antics. Qahla ran over and bit down on his pants leg, pulling and growling, shaking it like she was trying to kill it.

We were both laughing by then and I reached down to her. She pounced on us, going on a licking spree. Jake handed her a bone and turned to me with a mischievous look. "Now that she's distracted, I can take advantage."

I tried to stifle my gasp as his lips pressed to mine, tugging on my lips with his, darting his tongue inside. The heat immediately raced down to pool between my legs. His hand traveled from my hip, down to the edge of my skirt.

"So, you're not wearing panties?" he whispered, his lips tracing a fiery trail over to my ear.

I arched a little against him. "No," I whispered back, a smirk on my lips.

His fingers dragged slowly up my inner thigh and I bit my lip. He traced little circles as he lazily made his way up. I gave a soft moan as he was so close to touching me. I dipped my tongue against the corner of his mouth and he sighed. His fingers brushed once against me and then again. My breath had deepened. Then Jake pulled his hand back and I became aware that I was lying on my back in the grass, Jake half on top of me with Qahla sprawled next to us, oblivious as she chewed her bone. Not to mention our fathers weren't exactly far away.

"They're coming around the corner of the house," Jake murmured as he hurriedly got up and pulled me with him. "I think the food's done."

We carried the food inside since the rain made another appearance and sat at the kitchen table. I couldn't quite bring myself to look at Charlie and he seemed to be feeling the same way. Billy talked about the game that was on to Charlie while Jake poked me with his foot – and I poked him in relation. It got fresher as it continued.

"Bella?" Charlie asked, glancing over at me.

I jerked in surprise, considering Jake's toe was rubbing the inside of my thigh and Charlie was talking to me. "Um, yeah Dad?" I mumbled, pinching Jake's toe.

"Can you, uh, pass the salt?"

I sighed inwardly and passed him the salt. Luckily when dinner was over they left to watch a little of the game, leaving us to clean up since they had cooked. Jake was laughing quietly as soon as they left the room.

"Jerk," I muttered, fighting a smile.

He leaned over and kissed in the general vicinity of my ear as we washed the dishes. I glanced up to see the rain lashing against the windows, the trees bowing under the strength of the wind. It looked like we were in for another storm and it brought on rather pleasant memories.

"Do you really have to patrol tonight?" I asked quietly, feeling rather petulant about it.

"Yeah, I know. I don't want to. I get done around five in the morning again, too." I glanced over and couldn't help a little giggle as I saw his delectable lower lip sticking out in a pout.

I hooked an arm around his neck and he leaned down toward me. I kissed his lower lip, gently nipping at it. He was smiling when I pulled away. We were just finishing up when Charlie came into the kitchen. "You ready to go, Bells?" he asked.

I nodded and took Qahla out to go to the bathroom one more time. As I walked by the window, I heard Charlie talking. Apparently today was my day for eavesdropping; I hesitated outside the window.

"Jacob," Charlie's voice was gruff. "I'd like to talk to you for a minute."

"What's up, Charlie?" Jake's voice was calm and easy-going.

"I don't want to hear confirmation from you or from Bella. I just want to say one thing to you. Bella's a smart girl; she can have anything she wants. You get her pregnant, or hurt her, you will suffer for it. Understood?"

"Understood," Jake replied lightly. He was keeping it simple to appease Charlie.

I went back in and we said our goodbyes. The car ride home was quiet and I was uncomfortable. I was hoping Charlie wouldn't say anything about him suspecting Jake and I were intimate; one sex talk was enough and now that it had turned to that between me and Jake I knew it would be worse.

Qahla played with her toys for a bit when we got back, but she willingly went into her crate when I was ready for bed. The covers pulled up to my chin, I went to sleep quickly.

************************************************************************

The following morning, after I had Qahla outside and had breakfast, Charlie agreed to come back to the house on his lunch break to let her out so I could make my trip to Port Angeles. I managed to play with her a little and get some cleaning done before I had to leave. When I got there, I went into a small bookstore near a strip of other stores. It was set back a little from the other shops and the small gray-stone building with the deep mossy green shutters looked homey and inviting. I glanced up at the sign above the door. In green, elegant script was the words Heavenly Scents Bookstore & Café. There were pots of wildflowers in a wild array of color on the steps and the bushes lining the front of the building had strings of white lights on them. A glance into the big window in the front showed a display set up of a beach umbrella, a beach chair and ball, a small kiddie pool with water in it and a small stack of books on a blanket, displayed to show the names of the books.

It was perfect. I went inside and was assaulted with the scent of warm blueberry muffins and coffee. I wasn't a big coffee drinker, but the scent was so inviting. The inside of the shop had more strings of lights adorning the counter in the café and the door frames. Shelves and shelves of books beckoned me. The girl behind the counter smiled in welcome at me. "Good morning," she called out.

I smiled. "Good morning."

I browsed around, just taking it all in. Scents of muffins and coffee, books and flowers wafted throughout the store. I noticed an older woman walking around, checking in with the two cashiers and the two girls behind the counter. She looked to be in her mid-fifties. Her dark brown hair was twisted into a loose bun and she was wearing khaki slacks and a simple short-sleeved blue blouse. Her blue eyes met mine and she smiled. I couldn't help thinking this was the sort of place I would love to work at. I found a book and went up to pay for it.

Since it was getting close to lunch time, I decided to grab something to eat and make a trip to the nearby department store before my appointment. A few people were sitting down eating as I went up to the counter. A sign on the board said the food was homemade by the woman who I presumed was the owner. Ms. Margaret Paige. I ordered a cup of chicken wild rice soup and a muffin. I ate at one of the tables and ordered a root beer float to go. I made quick work of the department store, buying a couple t-shirts and a couple nicer shirts. I also purchased a pair of nicer black pants, a pair of jeans, and another skirt. My wallet a lot lighter, I dragged my purchases back to the car and felt the nerves in my stomach jump at the thought of the appointment I had to go to.

Luckily the wait wasn't long enough for me to go into a full-blown panic. I tried to breathe slowly as I wore a gown that was too revealing and waited for the doctor. It was all rather painless, but it was unsettling having someone poke around down there. Thankfully, she was efficient and friendly. I suffered through the questions and the talk about safe sex and got my prescription. I filled it at a local pharmacy and headed home glad it was over with.

When I got home, I gave Qahla some much-needed attention and relaxed. Charlie had picked up a pizza on the way home, knowing I'd been away most of the day. We ate in silence; I was still kind of nervous that he would want to talk to me about what he said to Jake last night. I'd had enough of sex talks, so I was thankful when dinner passed in relatively peaceful silence. I called Jake and he promised to come over for a little the morning after he got off patrolling, though we wouldn't have much time together. I went to sleep early in anticipation.

I woke up when Jake slipped into my room. He was always quiet, but Qahla had heard him. She gave one single yip, and he had her out of the crate so she'd stay quiet. Jake took her outside for a few minutes and then got her settled on her dog bed with a bone and he stretched out next to me. We spent what little time we had left cuddling, kissing, and groping. As much as I wanted more, I knew Charlie would be up in a little while and Jake had a meeting with the pack.

As soon as Charlie left, Jake kissed me and whispered that he would see me later that night. After he left, I played with Qahla for awhile, then got ready and headed to Newton's for my shift.

************************************************************************

**JPOV:**

This meeting was boring. I knew it was important, but there was no new news. I could have been spending a little extra time in Bella's bed, hopefully naked. I tried not to groan – or fall asleep – as Sam went on about trying to find out what was out there. I wanted to know as much as he did, but until we were able to get more concrete evidence, we were still in this blind. Even the bloodsuckers were quiet; we hadn't seen much of them around.

Emily passed around another bowl of eggs and the second batch of muffins, so at least that would keep me occupied until Sam finished up what he was talking about. When he was done, I could see everyone else looking relieved, too. He tacked on our patrol times and who we would patrol with.

Leah walked by me to head for home. "Looks like it's just you and me for a couple hours tonight, big guy," she said with a smirk.

"Joy," I muttered in response. She gave me a smack on the head; a growl rumbled in my chest. She was such a pain in the ass.

After I finished eating, I waved goodbye and headed for home to do some carving. There were a couple stores that my dad and I had found that would be willing to sell some of our carvings, so I needed to get some items finished. I headed in the house first and got Billy's lunch ready and stuck it in the fridge. I heard him in the living room; it sounded like he was working as well. So, I headed out to the garage and cleared off a space on the bench where I had set up my carving tools.

Before long, I ended up daydreaming about Bella again. I let my mind drift as my fingers continued to work. I had it so bad for her. Everything about her sucked me in; the way her brown eyes flashed in annoyance when I said something that irritated her, that thick fall of dark hair, those little pink lips of hers that I loved to kiss. She was my reason for nearly everything I did. The extra money would help out when we were out of school; we could live together, here in Forks, in another town, hell in another country. As long as I was with Bella, it didn't matter. She could go to school or she could work, we would figure something out. I just knew I wanted to take care of her, keep her safe, and have her be as happy as humanly possible.

My imagination was running wild now as I pictured us years down the road. I would get a ring on her finger one way or another; and even further down the road I couldn't help but think of Bella pregnant with my child. Of course I shied away from the idea _now_, but I liked the idea of Bella's body changing as she carried the product of our love for each other in her womb.

My daydreaming was cut short when I realized I had finished a couple pieces and I heard Billy yelling for me. I grabbed the pieces and hurried out of the garage. He was at the door.

"Jake! Geez, I've been yelling for you for nearly five minutes." Billy eyed me speculatively.

"Sorry dad," I replied. "What is it?"

"You better eat something; Sam just called and said you would be patrolling soon."

Oh crap. I'd completely lost track of time. I ate the leftover pizza in the fridge – all of it – and made a couple sandwiches. I scraped something together for Billy and heated it up. Once he was taken care of, I darted off into the woods, phasing as I went. Leah was waiting for me.

_Damn Jake! Cutting it a little close aren't you? _She muttered at me, sitting by an old, broken tree.

_Oh shove it,_ I muttered back. _It's only a few minutes. I was working and lost track of time._

_More like you were daydreaming about Bella and lost track of time_.

I rolled an eye at her and kept my thoughts quiet.

We shuffled through the forest, within seeing distance of each other. We were near Bella's house. It was so quiet in the forest and for once, quiet in my head. Instead of annoying, obnoxious thoughts or commands to do this or that, I could just hear Leah's quiet breathing, the rustle of the leaves in the wind and the slight crackle of leaves on the ground as we trod over them.

Leah's thought wove into my mind. _You really love her, don't you, Jake?_

I looked up in surprise. Leah was willingly talking to me about Bella? She always got annoyed, or oddly enough, I detected jealousy once or twice.

_Uh, yeah. I really do. More than anything._

_Yes, I'm jealous._ Her tone was very melancholy and I felt a prick of sadness.

She sat on the ground, ears swiveling back and forth as she listened to the forest sounds. _I had that, too. You know that. I loved Sam so damn much. He loved me. And we were going to get married._

I couldn't help the shock that she was telling me this. I figured it was because no one else was phased, though I didn't know why she was telling me.

_I'm telling you because it's nearly the same situation. You could imprint, but you're with someone who you love and don't want to leave. I was with someone I loved who left me for his imprint._

_I'm sorry you were hurt,_ I said, feeling a little uncomfortable. I had no idea what else to say.

_Maybe I'm ready to talk about it. I guess I always thought you might be the one to understand, even if you are annoying._

I cast my eye over at her. _Yeah, well, the feeling is mutual._

_Look Jake, I know everyone heard about me worrying over my menstrual cycle and shied away from it._

Again, I shied away, pulling my thoughts back.

_Dammit Jake,_ she growled. _Just listen. I'm scared that I'm a genetic dead end, okay? I thought my body was screwed up and that's why I became a wolf – why Sam never imprinted on me. He needed someone who was normal. _I never realized just how much sadness lurked under her bitchy exterior.

I felt sympathy for her. _Leah, just because Sam didn't imprint on you doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you. I can't pretend to understand how or why this works, but it doesn't mean it won't happen. And you won't always be a wolf, you're body should go back to normal. I would think._ It was an uncomfortable thought.

She whimpered a little. _I don't know, maybe. I just see you and Bella and it brings everything back. I thought I wanted an imprint; hell, it would take the pain away. I'm not so sure anymore. I don't like the idea that someone I was so in love with was taken from me because of an imprint. In fact I hate the idea._

_So do I_, I added fervently. It was a fear that I lived with. I loved Bella beyond any reason and wanted it to stay that way. I could understand now why Leah was so hurt, so sad, and she knew how I felt. I wasn't sure anyone else would understand it, but she did. Sam was the only other one in the pack in love with someone before imprinting, but he was on the opposite end of the spectrum. He _got_ his happy ending.

I stood up, restless, my mind very connected to Leah's. Her images were painful; on the beach with Sam as he proposed to her, them lounging on the sofa curled around each other, the two of them laughing together in school with their hands intertwined. Leah's eyes connected with mine and all of a sudden panic gripped me.

_Oh no. No, no, no, no_, I repeated over and over, my tone becoming hysterical as I instinctively knew. Leah was on the same wavelength. The screaming in her head nearly drowned out my complete panic.

I pulled away with ferocious intent, my mind straining with Herculean effort and I felt Leah doing the same. Our howls erupted in absolute fury.

Fear and pain crashed through us.

_NO!_ The single thought pounded simultaneously through our minds, blasting through the woods and the howls erupted.

************************************************************************

**BPOV:**

I was tired of waiting for Jacob to come; he had patrolled last night, but never came over after. Today I had worked a shift at Newton's, got dinner ready early, and I was playing with Qahla outside, continuing the training we had started with her. She was doing really well. After awhile I took her inside. It was dark outside and I was getting a chill. I set Qahla on my bed with her favorite bone and took a quick shower. When I finished drying myself off, I pulled on some comfy sweats and got out a book to read.

I was absently playing with the heart necklace when I glanced up. My eye caught the photo on my desk – of Jake blowing a raspberry on my neck at our prom – and I smiled. I got up and grabbed it and sat back on my bed. Absently, I flipped it over and realized Jake wrote on it. He had dated it, wrote our names, and also wrote _the girl of my dreams. I love you, Bella._ Out of nowhere, it came up on me. I was in love with Jacob Black. Part of me already knew it, but I had the urge to tell him immediately. I threw my jeans back on and grabbed my jacket. Qahla had been doing pretty well on her own, so I blocked her in the kitchen again until I got back. I was so excited; Jake would be so happy that I finally came to the realization. I knew I had loved Jake, especially the night we had made love, but I had been too afraid to say it or fully admit it to myself.

I pushed my truck as fast as it could go. I loved Jacob Black. I was grinning like an idiot.

The trees whipped by in the late afternoon sunlight as I passed into La Push. Reaching the little brick house, I threw my truck into park and turned it off. In my hurry, I left the keys in the ignition as I jumped out. Surprised that Jake wasn't at the door yet I bounded up the steps. As I was about to knock, I glanced to the side at the window. Billy was in his chair, talking, while Jacob and Leah sat on the sofa. Jake's face was hidden in his palms. There were a couple other men as well; one whom I believe was Quil Sr.

Then Billy's voice drifted out the window. "Okay, lets just calm down. You may have imprinted on Leah, Jake…"

There was a buzzing in my ears as my body shut down. The only part of my body reacting was my heart; it was racing frantically. No thoughts came, just a wave of horror washing over me. I must have made a sound because suddenly Jake's head snapped up and his eyes met mine. My body unfroze and it was flight or fight. Flight took precedence; I couldn't bear to hear another word. With a burning sensation building behind my eyes, I flew back to my truck and dove inside. I jerked the keys, the truck rumbling to life, as my breath shortened into frantic pants. I had to get out. Now.

My mind registered Jacob at the door running toward me, but I slammed the truck into gear, and with a spray of gravel, flew out of there. I knew Jake was faster than the truck in wolf form, so I just prayed desperately that Charlie was home. _Oh please, let him be home. Let him be home. Let him be home._ If he was home, Jake wouldn't tell me he was leaving me for Leah. He couldn't risk Charlie getting nosy and finding out.

My hands began shaking and my foot had pushed the pedal down nearly to the floor. I couldn't focus on any one thought, my breath was shaky and my body wanted to fold in on itself.

Pain. Agonizing pain ripped through my stomach.

I reached my house and saw Jake coming from the side of the house. Luck was with me; Charlie had just gotten home. My legs were shaking as I barreled out of the truck, straight for Charlie.

I could see his eyes widen in shock as he took me in, with Jake close behind. Charlie needed to protect me from hearing what was going to destroy me. My body hurtled into his and he caught me. I was now shaking so hard my teeth were chattering.

"What the f…" Charlie gasped, his arms tightening around me. I felt him take a deep breath and then he nearly snarled. "What the hell have you done, Jacob?!" His roar nearly drowned out the pounding in my head.

"Bella, please," Jake panted. His voice was shaking, too. "You need to listen to me. It's not what you're…"

Charlie interrupted. "Get the hell out of here now, Jacob. NOW!" There was a rushing sound in my ears and I could barely hear either of them as I buried my face in Charlie's chest.

There were tears. A few had leaked out. I couldn't let Charlie see me cry.

"Bella…" Jake whimpered.

I felt Charlie trembling violently and then suddenly he was leading me into the house. My stomach pitched violently and I stumbled up the steps. I took one deep gulp of air and then I was in my room. I turned, confused, when I felt a hand on my wrist. A soft body pressed against my leg.

Qahla.

"No," I gasped. "No, Dad… please… let… me… go." I was breaking. I didn't want Charlie here for this.

"I am not letting you s-suffer alone. Not again! Not a-again." Charlie's voice was breaking along with my body.

With one last ditch effort, I tried to wrench my wrists out of his grasp. To no avail. Then I was done. The sob ripped right out of my chest, catching me off guard. My legs gave out and I collapsed, tears burning a trail down my cheeks. Charlie came down with me and my body heaved as he held me against him.

Endless tears.

As I drowned in my tears, Charlie held me, Qahla pressed against me, and I heard an agonized howl coming from the forest outside. It was as if a wolf had taken his claws to my heart as it slowly shredded to pieces.

************************************************************************

**A/N: Okay, I know this is a nasty cliffhanger, and I don't want to get flamed! And I feel the need to say a few things. I know people have said no to imprinting, they love J/B, so I want to make sure you know I love J/B, too. That's what this story is. I'm not SM, I don't like the idea of imprinting, and I will always feel she left it open to interpretation. Not to mention, there are a few minor clues that might help you out. Not everything is as it seems! I don't want to reveal a lot, but I had to say something for you all because I love creating a story that receives such positive feedback! So hang in there! Not too much will be revealed in the next chapter; probably more the next one. Any questions, feel free to PM me.**

**-Meghan**


	17. Desolation

**A/N: I just wanted to say a quick thank you to my anonymous reviewers since I can't respond personally. Meggie, Megan39, KellieK, Kat, and .Rose (and I thank you for the giggle cat's pajamas!) And now… I will warn you this is a rather sad chapter… made me sad writing it!**

**Sally's Song (The Nightmare before Christmas) –covered by Fiona Apple**

I sense there's something in the wind  
That feels like tragedy's at hand  
And though I'd like to stand by him  
Can't shake this feeling that I have  
The worst is just around the bend

And does he notice my feelings for him?  
And will he see how much he means to me?  
I think it's not to be

What will become of my dear friend?  
Where will his actions lead us then?  
Although I'd like to join the crowd  
In their enthusiastic cloud  
Try as I may, it doesn't last

And will we ever end up together?  
No, I think not, it's never to become  
For I am not the one

* * *

I clung to the unconscious state of sleep; my body was trying to wake up, but my mind was resisting. It's funny how time takes on a different connotation according to what happens in someone's life. When things are good, time just flies by; when things are devastating, you count every second.

I slowly woke. My eyes felt gritty, my body ached, and I had no idea what time it was. It could have been evening for all I knew. Confusion had a grip on me as I blinked slowly and glanced around my room. My brow wrinkled when I saw Qahla pressed against my side instead of in her crate; her little head rested on my stomach. My body felt sluggish and as I shifted, Qahla looked up at me and whined.

Suddenly everything became clear. As it all came back to me, I had to gasp for air. Jake imprinted on Leah. I had run from him straight to Charlie. My throat was tight; my chest ached. The pain had been too much for me – yet again – but this time Charlie had been there. He refused to leave me. My eyes wandered down and I realized I barely had any recollection of getting _into_ bed. Then a vague memory of Charlie putting me in it came to me. Tears clogged my throat as I remembered collapsing on the floor, crying for what felt like forever, Charlie barely moving as he stayed with me, holding me the whole time.

I didn't have the energy to get up. I heard a soft knock on my door. "Bells?" Charlie said. His voice sounded a bit battered.

I rolled over, not wanting him to see my face. He pushed the door open. "Honey, are you… do you want me to…" In typical Charlie fashion, he didn't quite know how to put his feelings into words. I felt the same way.

The pain was twisting around my insides and I just wanted to be left alone. "I'll be fine." I had to reassure him somehow, even if it was far from the truth. My voice was raspy, scratching the inside of my throat.

"Bella, don't pretend with me. I know you better than that. I won't be going into work until I feel that you're…" he hesitated.

"I'll call Angela. You can go to work Dad."

He came closer and I stiffened. He picked up Qahla. "I'll take her out," he said quietly." When he left, I let the tears come again.

I was struggling to breathe properly as my eyes burned. I drug myself out of bed because I knew Charlie would never leave otherwise. I rested my forehead on the cool window, staring unseeingly into the overcast day. There was no desire in me to see anyone, to do anything. My Jacob, my sun, had left me with the clouds and the rain. I had Jacob to run to when Edward had left and I was hurting, but now I felt lost.

Charlie came back to my room. I turned and saw his face tighten as he took me in. A glance at the mirror confirmed I looked horrendous. My t-shirt was beyond wrinkled. My hair was a ratty mess, my eyes bloodshot, and my face looked devoid of any feeling. It was all too familiar.

I just sat on the floor with Qahla while Charlie went downstairs. A few minutes later, I heard him on the phone. I leaned my head back on the bed and listened to him with no interest; I had no problem doing so because his voice just kept getting louder.

"What the hell did he do and why? Billy, this is the _second_ time I've had to see my daughter suffer! I'm through with this. Keep him away from her," he snarled. I picked idly at a scab on my knee and watched as a trickle of blood slid down my leg.

There was silence for a moment. "You can't _tell_ me?! You have got to be…" he trailed off, and I could practically hear the vein in his head pulsing with fury. "I sat on her floor with her, holding her for what felt like half the night while she cried, and you can't _tell_ me?"

His voice was shaking now. "You know what, I have to go," Charlie said abruptly. I sighed, closing my eyes. I just wanted to go back to sleep.

I heard his footsteps on the stairs, so I got myself up and shuffled around, getting dressed. I called Angela so Charlie wouldn't hover, and she said I could come over. I could hear the concern in her voice; maybe I did need to be with somebody today and I was glad it would be Angela. She wouldn't pry. I didn't want to think about anything; every time I did my chest would hurt, my stomach would hurt, and my fingers would shake. I leaned over and the wooden heart swung away from my chest and my stomach heaved. Frantically, I unhooked it and slid it into my top drawer. My breath came in pants and I hurriedly swept the pictures on my dresser into the drawer as well.

I leaned my forehead on the dresser, breathing deeply to try and ease the pain and the light-headed feeling. Charlie came to the door and I jerked back from the dresser. "Bella?" Charlie said, worry lines extending from the corners of his brown eyes.

"I'm going to Angela's," I mumbled, scooping up Qahla and hurrying out to my truck. The engine rumbled to life, as my life continued to crumble into pieces.

* * *

Angela had been worried. The whole time I was there, I could see it. It was in the way she looked at me, the way she hesitated in talking about certain things. It got better as time went on. She kept things light, and I liked it that way. She didn't ask what happened and I didn't tell her; I think she had a pretty good idea. We just threw a ball for Qahla, took a walk since it wasn't raining, and she told me about the twins' latest antics.

I stayed for most of the day. Being alone was what I craved, but also what I feared. The thoughts would come easier and I didn't want them to. When I finally decided I needed to head home before Charlie flipped out, Angela gave me a hug. It felt a little awkward, but I appreciated her gesture.

When I got back home, I saw Charlie had just gotten home, too. He didn't say too much, but I could feel him watching me when I had my back turned. He did inform me that he didn't call Renee, and I had no plans to. At least not yet; she didn't need to panic and not be able to be here for me. He refused to let me cook dinner which was good because I really didn't want to. He re-heated some leftovers, and I took a couple bites of mine and pushed it away. Food held no interest for me. I wandered into the living room and sat in front of the television; something I rarely do and tried to think of nothing.

After awhile, I could feel the pain coming back. I wrapped my arms around my middle like I used to do to try and keep it away. It was unbearable and Charlie watching me made it worse. "I'm going to bed," I whispered and hurried upstairs before he could say anything. I sat on the edge of the bed, the pain twisting my insides as I recalled with perfect clarity just why I was going to Jacob's yesterday. I was in love with him and was going to tell him, and now I'd lost him. Huddled on the edge of the bed, tears that I thought I had used up the night before came back again. I tried to stay quiet; I knew I was freaking Charlie out. Qahla whimpered and licked my arm. I lay on the bed, letting her curl against me, as I tried to make myself stop thinking.

The exhaustion of fighting the tears sent me into a fitful sleep.

What only seemed like moments later, I was awake, but when I glanced at the clock I realized a few hours had went by. I couldn't remember my dreams; I just had vague impressions of despair and fear. I was still curled in a ball in my clothes. Restless I crept downstairs, Qahla following me. In the living room, I grabbed a blanket and lay on the sofa. After tossing and turning a bit, I got up and stared out the window into the dark backyard. I could see the shapes of the trees blowing under the wind and rain. As I stared, suddenly I realized at the edge of the forest, there was a pair of shining eyes watching me. I jolted with false hope and fear, thinking it was Jake, but I caught the barest glimpse of sandy-colored fur. It was Seth. As I stared at his melancholy expression, I heard the stairs creak behind me.

"Bella?"

I turned and Charlie's expression was resigned, sad.

I felt something tickle my lip and idly reached my hand up to find my face was wet. Surprised, I stared at my hand. I had been standing at the window crying, completely unaware. I hadn't felt my tears.

Charlie stood behind me and he touched my shoulder. His hand was shaking. "Honey, I…" He hesitated. "Is there anything I can do?" he whispered, pained.

I wanted to stop hurting Charlie, but I couldn't control my own hurt. I turned to him, pressed my lips together, and shook my head. "Not really," I said my voice cracking.

He wrapped his arms around me and I felt his cheek against the top of my head. We stood there for a little while, until I decided to try and sleep. I didn't want to go back upstairs tonight; there were too many ghosts in my room to haunt me. I lay back on the sofa, turned away, and I felt my mental exhaustion claim me once again. I dreamed of wolves running through my backyard into the forest; I followed them, looking for Jake. The trees were menacing shadows, the rustling sounds terrified me, but I pursued. Then I saw him standing on the cliff where I had jumped; he was in human form. He kept his eyes on me as reached his hand out, catching hold of Leah's hand, who had stepped out of the shadows and together they jumped.

Short pants broke from my throat as I woke. Weak sunlight streamed in through the window and I rolled over, every muscle in my body protesting as I uncurled myself from a tight ball. Charlie was on the recliner chair, his head tilted into the top corner of the chair, snoring softly. I felt a softening in my chest as I realized he never left me last night. And he had covered me with a blanket. He woke as well and I went upstairs to get dressed. I had work today, so I had to go through the motions. I hoped it would distract me a little. Back downstairs, I felt guilty because Charlie looked rumpled and exhausted, gulping down two cups of coffee. My pain was affecting him too much, I had to try and do better. I had done it before, hadn't I? I tried to ignore the small voice that told me that was because of Jacob.

He left and I sat at the table, picking at a piece of toast, until it was time for me to go. I was thankful I had work for the next couple days, because at least it was a minor distraction. The days passed slowly and there was no word from anyone about anything. Mike realized immediately what had happened and he was careful about talking to me. When the end of the week came, I was worn out and kept trying to tell myself I would have to move on. The notion of that was ripping at the wounds; I didn't want to give up, but I didn't know what else to do. I wondered if Jake had any idea what I had been doing since that day. My stomach was throbbing at work on Thursday and I just wanted to curl up and try to survive when Mike asked me if I wanted to go to a movie Friday. I was so desperate for something different, and even though I had no idea if he was asking me out on a date or as a friend, I agreed.

When my shift was over, I was driving home when all of a sudden I realized I had driven straight through Forks and was headed to La Push. My stomach had knotted itself up. What was I doing? Suddenly I felt the need to see Jacob, even though I knew it was going to hurt like hell. I parked off the side of the road near Jake's house, but not in view. Hesitant, I walked toward the house. No one was around. My heart was hammering as I walked up to the door. I knocked on the door, my hand shaking.

I thought I saw the curtains flutter, but no one answered. I knocked again. Nothing. "Billy?" I called.

When nothing happened, I stumbled back up the road toward my truck, the silent tears back. I got in my truck and just sat there, staring out blankly. I jumped when someone knocked on my window.

I turned around quickly, and I bumped my head on the window. Embry was looking back at me. I noticed he was wearing a shirt as he opened the door. "Bella, why don't you let me drive you home?" he asked.

I tried to argue, but he insisted, saying that he just got off work and had nothing to do and that he didn't think I seemed fit enough to drive. I was tired from the restless sleep I had been having, along with the nightmares, so when he urged me to move over I just did. We were both quiet as he drove me back to Forks. I watched the houses of the town as we passed them, seeing an older couple sitting on their porch taking advantage of the dry weather today. A few houses down, there were young kids playing in their yard. I spotted a younger couple walking down the sidewalk, holding hands. I closed my eyes and leaned my forehead on the window. Jake was no longer mine, would no longer hold my hand. He was no longer my personal sun; the one person who had helped heal me.

I didn't realize we were at my house until I felt warm fingers on my arm. Eyes squeezed shut I tried to picture it being Jake's fingers on my arm. I deluded myself for a moment before coming back to reality. Embry was watching me, his brow wrinkled with concern.

"Do you… um… how… is he?" I managed to whisper past the ever-present lump in my throat.

Embry looked worried now, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel. "Honestly, Bella, I have no idea."

Confusion warred with the pain of finding something out I didn't want to know. "You don't?" How was that possible? Not only was Embry one of Jake's best friends, they were in the pack together; he should have been privy to his thoughts.

"No. After… after it happened, his thoughts were jumbled and then closed off. We got nothing."

I knew he had been getting better at controlling his thoughts, but they got nothing from him. That didn't make sense. "Well, um…" I couldn't bring myself to ask what happened. It hurt too much to ask.

Embry seemed to understand, though. "We got him back to Billy's after awhile, where the rest of the pack met up. Everything happened so fast; things were said by Sam and then Jake and well, they both phased. I've never seen Sam like that, he just let loose. They physically fought and it took all of us to stop it."

My face was frozen in horror. They fought?

Embry bit his lip nervously. "Bella, his thoughts were jumbled, they were a mess. I have no idea what he's thinking and he's refusing to see anyone except..." He stopped and I felt my lips shaking now as I understood. "But he's always with Billy, too, so it's not like… we don't understand it and well, he hasn't phased since and I'm worried."

"Sam and Jake fought," I said shakily, focusing on that. "Is Jake...?"

"He's fine; they both are. They both had some healing to do, though."

My hands were freezing; my whole body was cold. I felt Embry touch my shoulder and I turned toward him. When his face looked blurry, I wasn't surprised. I could see his face soften and he hesitantly reached his other hand out, awkwardly pulling me into a hug. It made the tears flow a little faster as I sank into the familiar warmth, yet so different at the same time. My tears darkened his shirt as he hugged me.

"Bella, I'm sorry," he murmured.

After a few minutes, I composed myself and gave him a watery smile, even though I was embarrassed. "Thanks Embry. For the ride home and, well, for being here."

He smiled and we got out of the car. He gave me a small smile and then disappeared into the woods.

* * *

That night had me dreaming again about Jake, but the tone was different. Leah lurked somewhere outside, but I couldn't see her from my window. Jake was in my room with me and he began kissing me. The pain had been easing in the dream, having Jake hold me. He had begun touching me, and my breathing was heavier. His body was moving sinuously against mine, igniting all those places that begged for the heat. As he moved faster, I began writhing. Suddenly he stood as if to leave, and I woke. The pain of the loss hit me much the same as the arousal did; both were excruciating. My eyes burned from the unshed tears as the area between my legs throbbed.

I stifled my sobs with my hand, trying to hold them in and stop them from coming, as my other hand crept between my legs. At the first touch, the memories assaulted me; of Jake touching me there the night we made love, of his soft kisses, the feel of him moving inside me. I yanked my hand back, rolled onto my side, and squeezed my legs together. I spent most of the rest of that night awake, afraid to sleep and dream.

Friday morning Charlie told me he was working an evening shift, so he asked me if I wanted to go out for lunch. I was tired, but I knew he was worried about me and trying so hard, so I agreed. We just went to the local diner, but I made an effort to talk to him a little. He kept it light, so I relaxed a little. He stopped off at Newton's to pick up a few more lures for fishing, which reminded me that I was supposed to be going to a movie with Mike tonight. I didn't know what he was expecting and I didn't want to go, but I had promised.

I spoke with Mike and I agreed to meet him at Newton's. I didn't want him coming to pick me up; it felt too much like a date. I made a light dinner for Charlie and was surprised when the doorbell rang. Emily was standing on the doorstep.

"Emily," I said, not knowing what to say. The reminder had me holding my stomach. She didn't look too well either.

"I'm sorry to just show up like this. I had to come, though, to see if you were okay. I would have come sooner, but I wasn't sure if you'd…"

I picked Qahla up and we sat outside on the steps watching her run around the yard in her excitement. As I held myself together, I noticed that Emily's beautiful, disfigured face looked tired, too. Then it came to me. The fight with Sam and Jacob must have been about Leah. Thinking her name had me gripping more tightly. Emily must have been upset knowing that.

She confirmed that. "Bella, Embry said he spoke with you, so I knew you were aware of the fight. Sam won't tell me anything either, even though he's always shared everything with me." She looked hurt.

I started to speak, but she interrupted me. "I didn't come to spill my problems to you, Bella. I truly just wanted to come to see how you were doing. And Kim told me to tell you she's been thinking about you. She hasn't been feeling well the past week, that's why she's not here."

I kept it short and simple because I really didn't want to talk about it. She could mostly tell just by looking at me anyway how I was doing. She hugged me and a few tears leaked out. "I hate this, Bella. I hate that you got hurt, I hate not knowing how Sam and Jacob are, I hate that so many are affected by this. And I'm afraid this will ruin the pack."

I didn't know what to say, so we just sat there and watched Qahla play. It was nice to just sit there; it was like being with Angela. She told me what I already suspected; the other pack members were still patrolling and keeping an eye on me and Charlie. She left after awhile and I grabbed my jacket to go to Newton's. Mike was waiting for me. I gave him the barest hint of a smile. As he drove into Port Angeles, I wondered if one of the pack members was following. I kept my eyes on the tree line and oddly enough, I did see a flash of chocolate-colored fur. It was Quil. He seemed to be showing me that I was still being protected. Idly, I wondered if Jake would find out about this. There was no desire in me to hurt him, so I quietly panicked. Then I wasn't sure if he would really care anyway.

The movie playing was another cheesy movie, which seemed to be the only kind I watched anymore. Mike bought popcorn and we sat in our seats. I felt uncomfortable, unsure of what exactly was going on. He was leaning towards me, but he never lifted a hand. I didn't retain much from the movie, so I let Mike talk about it as we headed out of the theater when it was over.

"You want to get something to eat from McDonald's?" he asked, smiling at me.

"Sure," I said, glancing again towards the woods nearby.

We stopped in McDonald's; I ate most of my burger half-heartedly. Mike seemed to pack away a lot of food for someone who was normal; who was human. I swallowed hard. We walked back to his car then as he continued chatting.

The car ride back was much the same as the car ride there. He pulled up at Newton's and turned the car off. We listened to the car tick into silence.

"Bella?" Mike asked.

I turned to look at him.

"I'm glad you went with me tonight," he said honestly. Then before I was fully aware of what was happening, he had leaned over the console. His lips came within inches of mine and my eyes widened in shock. At the last second, I turned my head and his lips brushed against my cheek right near the corner of my mouth. The blush flashed across my face, and I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing came out.

The gesture made me think of Jake, and I squeezed my arms around my middle again, trying not to remember all the times he did that. But they came; me waking up to Jake tracing kisses over my face, to kissing the corner of my mouth while he held my face in his hands. My breathing was shallow as I tried to get myself under control. It hurt so damn much.

Mike rubbed his hands over his face. "Bella, I'm sorry."

I chanced a look at him; he genuinely looked upset. "I shouldn't have agreed to this," I said softly. "It hurts, feels like it will never stop hurting. I don't want you to get your hopes up, I'm just not…"

"Bella, I really like you, but I guess I've been deluding myself. I know it was too soon, and I truly asked you as a friend. I just thought maybe I could help, and I ended up wanting to kiss you… and that was just stupid. I'm sorry you're hurting, and that I really didn't make it easy for you." Mike looked chagrined.

I sighed. "It's okay Mike. I appreciate the gesture, I really do." I finally decided to say it instead of just hinting around. "We can be friends, but I just don't feel anything else. I'm sorry."

He nodded, gazing out at the window. I gazed at the dark windows of Newton's, the empty parking lot echoing how I felt inside. I was feeling tired again; that felt like the story of my life. My sleeping patterns were completely messed up from all the dreams. My appetite was mostly gone and I think I was losing weight and I certainly didn't need to. With a sigh, I turned to Mike again.

"Thank you for tonight. I'm sorry I wasn't better company. But we can be friends, right?"

He smiled his goofy smile at me. "Yeah, we can. I'm kind of glad we were able to air this out."

And it did truly feel like we could be actual friends now; without me worrying that he wanted to date me. I waved goodbye, got into my truck and headed home. Charlie was sleeping in the recliner chair with ESPN on when I went inside. I smiled a little, watching him as he snored softly. I never expected Charlie to try so hard with me; I knew he loved me, but this time was different. I was grateful to him, to Emily, to Embry, Mike, and Angela, just a few of the people who cared about me.

Charlie woke and saw me. "Hey baby, how was the movie?"

"It was okay. Mike's a good friend," I said quietly.

As he stood up, the pain welled up again. Jacob had been my best friend, and I lost him. The grief felt never-ending. I spontaneously wrapped my arms around Charlie, hugging him tightly. It was a bit uncharacteristic of me, but everything hurt, and Charlie was here for me. He held me for a few moments and I felt his lips brush my hair.

I swallowed hard, gave him the best smile I could, picked up Qahla and went upstairs to get ready for bed. It was the time I dreaded most and having Qahla with me helped. As if she understood, she licked my cheek. I got ready for bed and stood at the window for awhile just watching the night sky, seeing the stars coming out. Finally I drug myself to bed, wrapped my arms tightly around myself, and tried to get through yet another night.

* * *

**A/N: Next up will be Jake's POV. I hope it's understood that Mike isn't the bad guy either. **** He wasn't trying to push Bella into anything; he just made a mistake. And I hope Bella didn't come across as anything other than just sad (ie: whiny or woe-is-me). Reviews thrill me; I was excited to see that many on the last chapter. ;)**


	18. Understanding

**A/N: Sorry, I tried to get this up sooner, but interviews for New Moon had been distracting me. ;x How odd. I finally post my chapter and it's the night of the premiere when everyone probably isn't home. Haha. **

**Thanks to my anonymous review - I can't be bothered logging in (cute heh).**

* * *

**JPOV:**

Bella's face was haunting me. Charlie had been beyond furious, and I didn't want to push him, but I couldn't leave. I had to talk to her. I phased and howled my fury, my fear, and anguish. It ripped from my throat, splitting the night air. Quil, Embry, Seth, and Paul had all flown after me when everything went down. Leah was dealing with Sam back at the reservation. My body had a mind of its own as I crouched low, feeling the fur bristling on my neck. I could feel my lips quivering around my fangs, my muscles bunched as I snarled at anyone who came near me.

_Jake! Shit, calm down,_ Paul said. His aggressive tone made me snarl louder.

_Jake, please,_ Embry said, his tone calm but firm. _You can't go to her. Charlie is with her. You need to go back to the reservation._

His thought was cut off as I felt rather than heard Paul moving in to try and herd me which pissed me off to no end. I snapped at him and that was enough to have him leaping. Before I could really begin to relish the thought of a fight, Quil leaped between us effectively cutting Paul off. I managed to reach around Quil and bite down on Paul's leg. He snarled and with a shove of his shoulder, he shook Quil off him and dove on me as I made a dart toward the Swans' house. As we rolled around trying to do some damage to each other, I heard it and I deflated. Bella was crying and it rocked me completely.

Every fiber of my being was aching to go to her. Paul released me, my pain nearly immobilizing him.

_Jake, don't,_ Seth murmured. _Don't make it worse for her._

Sam's edict came through then loud and clear. His voice was as hard as I ever heard it. _Come home NOW, Jacob._

I was tempted to fight against the edict – if I even could – but Seth was right. I barreled back to La Push, the rest of them on my heels. I phased back and yanked my shorts on, my thoughts a mess. I stopped just within the tree line and saw Sam looking like, well, like I had never seen before. Leah had her head bowed and she looked tired. When she saw me, though, her eyes softened. She moved toward me immediately and I felt that peculiar tug in my heart. She squeezed my fingers lightly.

Sam's jaw was tight as he stared at our linked fingers. I stared back, everything hurting inside me. "What did I tell you, Jake?" he said coldly. "You got too involved with Bella and now look what happened."

I could sense everyone's surprise, but all I felt was anger. I felt a growl work its way up my chest. "Well, this wasn't exactly expected," I hissed back at him. He was pushing every wrong button. "I've seen Leah countless times before."

"But Leah?" he snarled. "Of all people? This could be a problem for the pack! And you don't even seem to be in love with her, Jacob!"

Our hostility was rolling in waves. "What the fuck does that mean, Sam?" My body was beginning to quake under the strain of my anger and pain.

I couldn't even begin to feel shock as Sam quivered as well. He was always so calm, but he was losing it. "It means you ruined Bella and you ruined the imprint with Leah!" he snarled again. Then the wolf ripped from his body, the black beast snarling in anger.

Every ounce of pain and anger I felt coalesced into a furious rage and I felt my body bow, the muscles tighten, and the prickling sensation race over my body as I phased into my wolf form. There were no thoughts in my head as I stared at Sam, my body tensed. We dove at each other, the snarls ripping through the woods. Dimly I heard yelling and the sound of phasing as I felt Sam's teeth sink into my shoulder. I turned and slammed my body into his, turning and sinking my teeth into his leg. He howled and we crashed into each other again, claws flashing and doing damage to each other. I managed to pin him down, and then I heard the voices in my head raging.

_STOP IT! Both of you STOP!_ Jared screamed at us.

_Jake, Sam, calm down! _

_What the fuck are you doing?! STOP it!_

I felt multiple bodies slamming into me, pulling at me, forcing me back. I was about to break away and lunge again when Leah spoke; the only voice to which I clung to retain my sanity.

_Jacob! Samuel! Stop this instant!_

My body was aching in so many ways. My breath struggled out of my lungs; I couldn't phase back. I finally managed to calm down enough to do so. Embry silently handed me a new pair of shorts to wear.

"I don't think I can follow you anymore," I rasped out, staring straight at Sam.

Sam's face was hard, though I saw a flash of pain and remorse. I had no more words in me as I turned and limped away, intent on going back to Bella. Leah was following me until I heard Sam speak to her.

Please LeeLee. It's just..."

I turned in time to see Leah whip around to face Sam. I saw the fury bubbling as she spit out her words. "Don't you _dare_ call me that, Sam Uley! You lost that privilege when you imprinted and left me."

I made it back to Billy's to get my car, but Leah grabbed my arm. "Jake, wait. You can't."

"I have to," I growled. "Leah, something happened with the imprint! It's not the way everyone described; I still want Bella!" The knowledge of that gave me a sliver of hope.

Leah crushed that hope. "Jake, we don't know _what_ the hell happened! Yes, it's different; for both of us. But who's to say this will last? Can you really go back to Bella, tell her its okay, without knowing? That would make it a thousand times worse; get her hopes up just to crush her for a second time. Jake, don't make it worse, not until we figure out what the hell happened."

I felt tightness in my chest. My throat hurt from holding back the sob that wanted to break free. My feelings had changed for Leah so drastically, but the only person I would ever cry in front of was Bella. Swallowing around the painful lump, I tried to rein in the grief and anger and think of Bella.

Thinking rationally wasn't easy. I knew how I felt, Leah knew how she felt, but maybe she was right. This was going to kill me if I went to Bella and told her it was okay, then something happened to turn the imprint to the way it was meant to be. I nodded at her, feeling my eyes begin to water.

Billy was in the kitchen waiting for me, but I just walked straight by him without a word back to my room. My leg was a bloody mess, so I methodically wiped it off and dropped down on the floor against my bed. My energy was completely gone; I had nothing left. Leah sat next to me.

"Everything is so screwed up," I muttered, watching the scratches disappear. "I want to make sure Bella is okay." I closed my eyes to keep the tears at bay.

"I know, Jake." I felt her fingers brush mine. "Billy said they would try to figure this out, though."

I had no idea how they were going to try and figure this out. We were talking about legends of our tribes. And this particular legend had been taking us by surprise with anyone in the pack imprinting at all. Then Quil had imprinted on a two-year old which had been even rarer. We were told that when we began phasing that our imprintee would be someone we just laid eyes on. Hell, I had known Leah forever. And now I felt close to her, but I didn't feel as if I were in love with her? I could feel the pull toward her, the need to see her happy, but Bella was still first and foremost in my mind.

I stared out at the dark night, my heart aching as I thought of Bella, as I remembered the look in her eyes when she had heard what Billy said. Everything had crashed down around me in the second I saw the horror in her eyes. All I could do was run like hell after her; I wanted to tell her I was still in love with her, but Charlie had been there. I very nearly told her anyway, explained what had happened, but her silent, heart-breaking look and the tears had rendered me speechless. God, the hurt had been horrendous, was still horrendous. I was as bad as Edward, and I had promised I wouldn't hurt her.

Leah squeezed my hand. Of all people, I had imprinted on Leah. The feelings I had for her were so strong, but they couldn't overpower my feelings for Bella. It could still cost me in the long run if this wasn't figured out soon, though.

I felt so angry; angry at myself for hurting Bella, for being a werewolf, for having to imprint. When I turned to look at Leah, though, I still couldn't say it. I cared too much.

"Why do you think it happened like this?" I murmured.

"I've been thinking about it. Could it be because I confided in you? I haven't confided in anyone about why I've been so angry. I just felt a connection with you, like you would understand."

"Could be. Maybe a friend is what you needed; not someone to be in love with."

She pondered that for a moment, dark eyes squinted. "That makes sense, if an imprint could work that way."

We thought on that as we listened to the whispered conversation Billy was having on the phone. He was talking to Quil Sr. about the imprint and why it was different.

Leah sighed softly. "I don't get it," she whispered, her voice twined with sadness. "What the fuck is wrong with Sam? I spent so long trying to get over him and now he's acting like he's jealous."

I tried to follow the change of subject. Thinking about Sam was confusing; I was so beyond pissed off at him. I had no idea what to do considering I told him I didn't want to follow him anymore. I also didn't want to be Alpha, like it had been meant to be.

"I don't know, Leah. It certainly seems that way, though. He's an idiot," I muttered angrily.

She sighed and stood up. Her face looked weary. "I'm going to head out to patrol and then go home."

I nodded and just sat there as the minutes slowly ticked by. There was nothing I had the urge to do. It felt like I had a hole in my chest - like what Bella had described to me when the leech left. How ironic. I leaned my head back on the bed and closed my eyes exhausted.

* * *

My neck felt twisted as I groaned and opened my eyes. I had fallen asleep on the floor, my head on the bed. I got up slowly and sat on the edge of my bed, face in my hands as the sky lightened a little more. Billy was moving around out in the kitchen when the phone rang.

I heard Billy murmuring something about not being able to say, that he had to protect me. I focused harder, realizing it was about me. The pain rushed at me again when I realized he was talking to Charlie. Charlie's next words dropped me to my knees, tears filling my eyes. He had spent the night in Bella's room while she cried.

_Oh shit. Why did this have to happen?!_

_I hurt her. I hurt her. I hurt her. I have to make it better._

Without a thought, I lifted my window and catapulted myself out. I phased once I hit the tree line and flew through the forest to Forks. To Bella. Once I reached the edge of the trees, I moved as close to the road as I could and still stay hidden. I needed to see the front door, in case she came out. Charlie was still there. I cursed under my breath, my body straining as I tried to wait.

Suddenly, the door opened and Bella stepped out. My heart sank, and then shattered when I saw her. Her beautiful chocolate eyes were red and lifeless. I could make out the salty tear tracks on her cheeks. Her thick hair was messy and she looked so rumpled and forlorn. I didn't care if Charlie was there; I made a move to go to her, but Leah was suddenly in front of me.

_Jake, what the hell are you doing? Don't. Don't make it worse! We don't know anything! Just wait. _Her tone held sympathy, but I could hear the fear underneath.

_Lee, I HAVE to. Look at her!_

Her gray head swiveled and she was quiet for a moment. _Jake, as much as neither of us wanted this, we're still each other's imprint. Do this for me. For your sake and Bella's._

I felt that softening for her; which was disturbing because I wanted to be pissed off at her. Misery was my new best friend. _Bella is still the stronger pull,_ I whispered, nuzzling her neck to soften the sting.

_I know,_ she said. _Just wait. _

_ Why do you care if I hurt her anyway? You never liked Bella._

_Because I know you don't want to. Not again. As I said, it's not guaranteed it will stay like this between us, Jake. And no, I never did like her, but I would never wish this kind of pain on someone. The kind of pain I went through. And because I care about you._ She nuzzled me back.

_I want you happy, too, Jake, but we both know this could end even worse if we don't know for sure._ I lowered my head in acquiescence and she laid her gray head on my back. We stood there for awhile as she gave me what comfort she could as I watched Bella get in her truck. Her eyes lifted and stared at the forest for a moment. My heart thumped painfully; then her head lowered and she left.

* * *

The days were endless. My work suffered; I could barely look at the wooden figures I had been carving. Bella had influenced so many aspects of it that the reminders were too many. They were too painful.

I avoided everyone. I only phased that one time and luckily it had only been me and Leah in wolf form at the time; I stopped phasing after that to avoid everyone. Quil and Embry had been by to see me, but I always managed to evade them. There was nothing any of them could do, and I was still so angry, so upset with what happened, that it wouldn't have done any good. Leah made sure to keep me informed that patrols were kept up regularly to protect Bella and Charlie. Bella's safety was beyond important, and I trusted Leah to ensure that everyone was aware of that.

Billy suffered along with me. I knew he was trying to help me, so I made an effort to keep my anger in check with him. Nothing was his fault, my temper was just so damn explosive and I didn't want to hurt him any worse than he already was. The research into the legends was going full-force. Even if I wasn't really talking to anyone, people were pitching in to see if there was ever anything about an imprint that was solely a friendship.

I spent a lot of my time in the house and occasionally on the beach or in the garage. Leah never came when I was in the garage; being an imprint, someone who knew me well, she realized that was mine and Bella's thing. She would sit with me on the beach sometimes, though. We didn't always talk. We could sit quietly and it was fine. The pain never left me; I craved for Bella day after day, but I didn't try to go see her again. It had hurt so badly seeing her like that.

One day later in the week I came back to my house from the garage, feet dragging. For the first time since I had been transforming, my appetite had lessened. Billy was sitting at the kitchen table, flipping through a book. He looked up when I walked in.

"Son, I have an idea."

I pulled out a soda and took a hearty swallow. "Oh?" I muttered.

"There is absolutely no mention of an imprint being a friendship. I mean, we know that it sort of works that way when the imprint is a child, but not when it is two adults. Or when it is two wolves. So, I think you need to talk to Taha Aki."

I raised my eyebrows, glancing at him in surprise. "What? Just pick up the phone and dial a dead ancestor?"

Billy sighed. "No Jacob. A vision quest. I know things are more modern now, but you might be able to commune with Taha Aki and see if he knows anything."

A vision quest? Was he kidding? But as I thought about it, I figured I had nothing else to lose. So what if I traipsed off into the woods on my own to get in touch with my woo-woo side? I shrugged.

"I guess. I doubt it will work, but I guess I can."

Billy gave a nod, a small smile on his face. "Good. In preparation, you need to start fasting and you will fast through the vision quest. The only thing you will need to take with you is a bottle of water and a medicine man."

I frowned. "Where am I going to find a medicine man? The phone book?"

Billy sighed again, but rolled his eyes this time. "Quil Sr. is a medicine man. He said he will follow you for a couple days while you try this, and Quil, Embry, and Leah said they would patrol surrounding woods and make sure Quil Sr. is comfortable."

"He would do that?" I asked, surprised.

"Yes. Of course," Billy said simply. I agreed to give it a try. Already it was a little over a week since I saw Bella, and I was desperate to try anything.

I took a walk on the beach, idly skipping stones. I watched the gulls swoop down for fish in the breakers. The sun was trying to poke through the thick bank of clouds, but it looked like there were more rolling in. It seemed we would be in for another storm.

"Jake?" It was Embry. I cringed, knowing there was no way out of this.

I turned and he and Quil were coming down the beach toward me. I stood there, staring at them, until they reached me. "Jake," Embry said quietly. "It's good to see the front of you and not your back running away from us."

Both of them looked reproachful, but I didn't respond to that. "What do you want?" I asked.

"We're supposed to be your friends, Jake. We were kind of concerned. Especially after what happened with Sam."

I felt that flicker of unease at the mention of Sam. "How's Emily?" I asked.

"She's okay. She isn't saying much, but she looks hurt sometimes. Tired, too," Quil sighed. "Look man, I'm not going to get into it. I just wanted you to know we will follow you if you decide to break off."

I was taken aback. I wasn't sure I wanted to be Alpha, but it was nice to know they would do that for me. "Um, thanks?" I muttered.

"We've been keeping an eye on… on… her," Quil said, stumbling on his words. "She even went to Port Angeles with that Mike Newton, so I followed them to make sure she was okay."

My breath stuck in my throat. "What??" She went out with Mike?

I saw Embry kick Quil and shake his head. Quil realized what he said and sighed. "Jake, I'm sorry, I didn't… anyway I think it was just as friends. She didn't look happy, though."

I felt the anger clawing at my stomach; at the idea of Mike trying something with _my _Bella. Just as I felt as if I were going to flip out on them, Leah was there, her hand on my arm. "Jake, calm down," she whispered.

Embry shook his head sadly. "I talked to her, Jake. She's trying to put on a front for Charlie, for her friends', but I doubt it was anything. She didn't seem anywhere near moving on from this."

That just made it worse. I felt him lay a hand on my shoulder. "We'll talk to you later," he said softly. "I'm sorry, Jake. Just don't stop hoping, okay?"

I sat on the sand, idly watching the grains disappear through my fingers. I heard the faint rumble of thunder and a flash of lightning lit the sea. It reminded me of our first and only night together and the pain was unbearable at the thought. Bella's dark hair spread over the pillow; her small, soft body laid bare for me. Her beautiful eyes had locked on mine while I made love to her. My whole body was tensed in pain at the thoughts.

Leah sighed. "How was it? Was it as perfect as you had imagined it?" She seemed to know what I was thinking.

"Yes," I replied, looking away. I didn't want her to see my eyes filling with tears. One escaped and slid down my cheek and I angrily brushed it away.

"Sex always makes it harder," she said. "It was heaven when I was with Sam. The feelings it had created being close to him in every way were so strong, which made it that much worse when he imprinted."

I nodded, but had nothing to say. We sat there for a time, just watching the storm roll in.

* * *

I threw water into a back pack the next day, ready to give this vision quest a try. It had been about two weeks now, and I was raring to go. I had to find something out, to see if I could go back to Bella.

I slapped Billy's shoulder on the way out and smiled.

"Good luck, son. I hope you find what will make you happy."

I walked into the woods, hearing the soft crackling of leaves as Quil Sr. followed me from a distance. As I moved deeper into the forest, the sounds slowed. I found a small clearing where I just plopped down with a sigh. I yawned and lay back as I tried to clear my mind. Eventually I was able to, and my mind felt as if it were drifting on an empty sea. My eyes drifted shut. It seemed as if no time had passed when they opened.

I stood up, confused. It wasn't raining and everything around me had a bit of a sepia tone to it. I walked slowly from the clearing, not going too far. As I walked, I saw a flash of something to my right. I glanced over and saw a figure.

"Hello?" I called out.

The figure turned, but I couldn't make it out. It was blurry.

This struggle plagued me throughout my quest. I spent the next couple days trying to fully empty my mind and allow myself to believe this could work. The days were bleeding together; I spent most of it in a hunger-induced haze where my dreams felt real. I could barely tell what was real or a vision anymore; and my visions still weren't significant enough to believe it was a _true _vision.

Then something changed.

I was drifting along in my daze in the sepia world when the figure I had been seeing became crystal-clear. Taha Aki turned and stared at me. My throat wasn't working as I tried to swallow. He lifted his finger to his lips and motioned me forward. My body followed without thought. I noted his dark eyes held secrets; his skin tone matched mine, was incredibly smooth and held no age lines. This was my ancestor.

He hovered near the tree line looking at the homes of the reservation. It was very similar, but slightly different. I could see it for what it was in Taha Aki's time. I saw the third wife, Taha Aki's imprint. He gently nudged my arm and shook his head. My eyes followed his gaze to a girl teaching young children. His gaze softened and I could see the love in his eyes.

Frowning, I tried to make sense of it.

Then I realized the look, the one that was so new to me. The emotions on his face looking at this girl made me think of Leah. Then he turned and looked at his wife. There was true love in that look, utter devotion. It was how I felt about Bella. The flashes that came helped me to understand.

My head jerked to his and he nodded with a smile on his face. Certainty hit me like a ton of bricks. No one had ever known except Taha Aki and this nameless teacher that he had imprinted on her, but he had married the third wife and his feelings for her exceeded an imprint. I spun around, unsure of how to get back to my body. I felt dizzy with confusion, having been out for a number of days.

A hand took mine, the body just a soft mist. I hesitated but felt warmth that took me by surprise. I hadn't felt warmth like that since my mother. I mouthed thank you at Taha Aki and he smiled again and walked toward his wife. Back at the fire, I turned to the misty figure.

"Oh, Jacob, how I've missed you."

My heart nearly froze at the sound of my mother's voice. Before I could utter a word, her arms were around me, holding me as tightly as only a mother could. I buried my face in her neck, tears sliding down my cheeks.

"I miss you," I whispered. I had to say everything quickly, as I felt my spirit self being dragged back into my body. "I love you, Mom."

"Baby," she murmured. "I love you, too. Pass my love on to everyone. Now go my son, go get her." A bright smile lit her face and I stroked her cheek one last time before I woke.

Someone picked me up and was carrying me. I couldn't even begin to protest; my body felt as if I had been in a coma. I just closed my eyes until we reached Billy's house and then Quil and Embry set me upright. I stumbled into the house, my body sluggish, and my mind weak. Billy took hold of my hand and pulled until I sat. He gave me a sandwich to eat, which I inhaled.

"It worked," I whispered. Only Billy and Leah stood there now. "Leah, we both resisted. It severed part of the strength of the imprint, so it's kind of like a life-long friendship instead of a true love. My feelings for Bella overpowered it, as did your strength to find your life and your love your own way." My mind filled with Bella; I had to go to her.

A smile bloomed on both of their faces. "Oh Jake," she laughed. "Go to her! Go now!"

Without another word, I flew out of the house. The wolf burst seamlessly from my body as I raced through the forest at top speed.

Bella. Bella. Bella.

I phased back immediately, yanking my shorts on impatiently as I ran toward the door. Charlie wasn't home, I noticed dimly, as I opened the door and prayed Bella was in her room. My knuckles barely grazed the door; she had only begun to say something, when I burst in.

She stood at the window, her face blank with shock. In the seconds that I stared at her, I saw that she looked smaller. She had lost weight. Her eyes had that haunted look like when the leech left her. She looked so sad. I couldn't help myself; I moved toward her, capturing her face in my hands as I pressed my lips to hers.

I felt the struggle within her; of resisting and wanting to cave in as I kissed her. I could barely stop myself. Her delicate body shuddered and she pulled back. Something hit my cheek; I barely felt it, but it registered. I looked at Bella, saw the anger, the grief, and what I hoped was still love in her face.

She had slapped me across the face. It didn't hurt me, but the shock knocked the wind out of me. She slapped me? As we stared at each other, I felt fear take hold of me.

_Oh God, please tell I'm not too late._

* * *

**A/N: Okay, a few things…… after I apologize for another, if more minor, cliffy. :x**

**I will most likely do this, but am curious to reviewers opinions: Are you interested in a one-shot to the story in Leah's POV in regards to this issue? You can PM me or just add to your review. Won't be as long as the regular chapters and I won't make you wait as long for the next chapter from Jake/Bella's POV after I put that up.**

**I knew what a vision quest was, but did some minor research. May not be exactly right, as I've never been on one so I guessed to the best of my knowledge.**

**Leah & Jake's convo mostly cover how I meant to go about this imprint. I didn't have Jake imprint on Bella, because it isn't necessary for him. His love is already just too strong for her, imo. Also, I know the imprint is different… I tried to respect the idea of the imprint and how SM put it across, but I really do believe it's open to interpretation and that people should have free will in matters of love. Hope it works for you. **

**I hope Leah came across properly.** **She only stopped Jake so he didn't hurt Bella, thus himself (which would upset her). **

**I have to say the fight is because Sam had some underlying issues and Jake was just angry. I hope Sam's not hated, because he just lost control. His issues will come to light more a little later.**

**Last but not least….. for anyone who celebrates it… Happy Thanksgiving! **


	19. Healing

**A/N: Sorry for the slight delay in this one; tried to get it up sooner, but it took longer than I thought. Anyway, thanks to the anonymous reviews: Jules, KC, and Miya!**

*****Also, for those who don't know… the Leah POV companion story has been up. If you're interested in reading it, just go to my profile and my stories and it's called "Secrets, Heartache, and Healing." And review, of course. ;)**

* * *

**BPOV:**

My hand was throbbing from the slap; I wanted to react to it, because it hurt like hell, but I refused to. How dare he?? Deep down I knew this imprinting mess wasn't his fault, but how could he assume and just come back after a couple weeks and kiss me? I felt new throbs of pain in my heart, ones that ached like an infected wound. The tears were building, but with sheer force of will, I held them back.

We stood there, staring at each other. Jake didn't look much better than I did; I couldn't fathom why he thought it was okay to be with someone else and then come back to me. Did he think I would be his on the side mistress? As much as my heart ached for him, my body craved for him, everything within me loved him; I couldn't accept that. For him to assume that had shocked me into slapping him.

"Bella," Jake whispered finally. His fingers absently touched his cheek and part of me ached to stroke it. "Please let me explain." As he moved closer, I backed up.

"There's no need to," I mumbled. I was feeling more and more panicky as he got closer, which was beginning to make me angry.

"Yes, there is," he said, frustrated. "It's not what you're thinking!"

"How can it not be?" I snapped. "You told me what imprinting was! You imprinted on _her_. I haven't seen you in a couple weeks, and now you're trying to tell me it's not like that? Don't come here and kiss me, making it hurt even _worse_ than it already does. In fact, I want you to get out!"

His expression was hurting me worse. He looked so worn and in pain. But I was tired of being in pain, too.

"Bells…" he sighed. His lack of getting angry was pissing me off.

"Get out!" I snapped.

His anger flashed back at me. "No! Bella, I'm not in love with Leah! I'm still in love with you."

My heart gave a painful thump and I sank to the floor, my back against the wall. Jake knelt in front of me. His hand hesitated as he reached out, but then he lightly touched his fingers to the bared skin of my chest at the edge of my tank top, right over my heart.

"Bella, how could you mean less to me when I can still kiss you like this?" He was hesitant, but he kissed me gently. I let him, but didn't kiss him back. "When my body still reacts like this to no one but you? When all that I am is wrapped up in you?"

A few tears trickled down my cheeks. There was too much to talk about, but I let myself feel as if everything was the way it had been before. My eyes closed, and I felt the press of Jake's lips again. I knew it was wrong - because while he may still feel love for me, it didn't mean he wouldn't end up going back to her – but I kissed him back. If I could have one more kiss, one more delusion that things would be just fine, then I would take it. I could feel the mingling of both of our tears as they slowly slid to rest at the corner of my mouth.

He gently pulled me up and led me over to the bed. "I need to explain some things to you, Bella," he said softly. He gently tugged me down and we lay there, facing each other.

There were tears, his voice shook, and his fingers hesitated in touching me. He explained what happened in the woods; how they both knew it was happening. He told me he didn't want it because of me and fought it. He explained how _she_ fought it. The story spilled in an unending stream from his lips, and I didn't react until he explained why he didn't come earlier to explain. I had had enough of everyone trying to protect my feelings for my own good without my input. Angrily, I shoved away from him, nearly falling off the bed in my haste to get up.

"I am not some weak-willed idiot, Jacob. You should have _told me!_ It would have saved me, Charlie and my friends from the pain of trying to console me! I would have handled it and they would have been just fine," I practically yelled. My voice was shaking in anger.

"Bella, honey, I'm sorry," he said, letting me go, knowing holding me down would just make it worse. "I really, truly am. I-I came to you, to tell you, but I was talked down. I'm sorry, you're right. It was the wrong choice, but I was scared because I thought the imprint would turn back to how it had always been and you would be hurt again."

"Talked down from it? By _her?_"

He sat up, his eyes burning ferociously. "Leah does not control my life, Bella. She does not control my decisions. I let myself get talked out of doing it, but _I_ ultimately made the decision not to. And it was a fucking stupid decision!"

It didn't change the fact that it irritated me, but the genuine and utter pain in his face calmed me down. "Please," he whispered, tears budding in his eyes. He held out a hand to me. "Let me fix my mistakes, Bella. Please give me another chance."

Forgiveness had always been my strength. I wasn't sure I could forget everything so easily, but I knew without a doubt that Jake meant everything he said. He wanted to try and fix this, and I still loved him so much; so much in fact that I would let him try. I sat on the edge of the bed and saw him swallow hard. As I lay back down, he lifted a hand and let it hover, unsure. I met him halfway; I laced my fingers with his and both of our breaths evened out. He whispered softly about how he had found out the imprint was friendship and only friendship. I was a little surprised at the vision quest; at how much he went through to try and figure this out so he could come back to me.

Exhausted at the end, we both lay there, noses nearly touching. He gently brushed my hair away from my face and then gently pulled me into him. It was soothing, and I closed my eyes. I had been so tired the past couple weeks with all the nightmares. Jake had always been my buffer.

Hours might have passed as we lay there; I had no idea. It must have been awhile, because the next thing I knew Charlie was in the doorway. He was back with Qahla from fishing on the beach. Everything seemed to happen in slow motion.

I could see the rage pass over Charlie's face. His hands had begun to shake, and I had barely sat up before it spilled over.

"What the HELL is going on here?!" Charlie roared. His chest was heaving with fury and his face was turning red.

Jake stood, pushing me back behind him. "D-dad, it's nothing… r-really…" I managed to stutter before Charlie moved forward, his eyes fixed on Jake. He was absolutely furious.

"Get the hell out of this house!" It wasn't just the yelling, I could see Charlie's hand flexing. He was either wishing he had his holster on or he was debating throwing a punch.

I pushed Jake's arm out of the way and moved forward. Whatever it was he needed to calm down before he ended up hurting himself. "Dad, just wait a minute…" I said quickly.

"If you think for even a _second _that you're welcome here, you are dead wrong! Do you have _any _idea what you did to her?!" Charlie's teeth were clenched and his glare was fixed intently on Jacob.

A soft sound had me turning to look at Jake. His mouth was a little twisted and his eyes were damp with tears, one sliding down his cheek. It shook me to see him look so vulnerable. He looked straight at Charlie, too.

"Yes. It upsets me more than you can know how much I hurt her. I never meant to. I don't really deserve her forgiveness," he whispered. He looked so tired. I slid my hand around his and gave it a squeeze.

"I could never begin to apologize enough to her, to you. A lot of things happened and I didn't handle it very well," he finished.

Charlie looked at me, completely deflating, his expression resigned. "You just forgive him like that? So easily?"

"Not just like that," I whispered. "But we're working on it."

Just like that, Charlie was done. He nodded and turned to leave. Qahla came from the corner of the room, her head tilted down. I picked her up, gave her a kiss on the head and handed her to Jake. I hurried after Charlie and caught him at the top of the steps.

'Dad?" He turned when I reached out. I threw myself into his arms. "Thank you," I mumbled against his chest. I put everything into it, hoping he realized I was thanking him for so much; for everything he had done for me.

He did. He held me tightly for a few minutes. "I trust you to make the right decision, Bells. I can't forgive him as easily, though."

I nodded and he went downstairs and I went back to Jake.

* * *

Jake and I didn't talk much; we just lay on the bed with Qahla squished between us. I knew he had to patrol tonight, and I wasn't sure how I felt about it. I wanted him to stay with me tonight, but I hesitated in asking; partly because I felt awkward that things were still strained between us and because I didn't want to know the particulars of his "relationship" with Leah. Did he want to spend time with her patrolling tonight? I had no idea how it worked. All I knew was that I didn't like it. As we were lying there, I heard Jake's stomach snarl.

I couldn't help but laugh and he smiled ruefully. He had told me he hadn't eaten anything in days, so we went downstairs. I heated up the leftover lasagna and let him eat the rest of it. I sat at the table watching him until he was almost finished.

"Bells?" he said, concern lacing his voice. I raised an eyebrow at him.

"You should eat something. You look like you lost too much weight."

He forked over a small helping for me, and I ate it without complaint. My stomach grumbled as the food landed in an otherwise empty stomach. When the dishes were cleaned up, Jake sighed.

He approached me slowly and lifted a hand to my cheek. I closed my eyes and let the warmth of his skin penetrate mine. He tilted my chin up, so I was looking at him. "Bella?" he asked. "Can I… kiss you?"

He was asking me? Then I remembered the kiss and slap, so I nodded. He bent down, pressing his lips to mine. The soft glide of his lips, the way he paid attention to each lip separately, deepening it in increments reminded me of when we first started dating. It was a little like starting over again.

Then I heard a throat clearing. Instead of the usual disapproving expression Charlie wore when he caught us kissing, his face was a hard mask of anger. He didn't say anything, though; he just opened the fridge, took out a beer and disappeared into the living room again.

Jake sighed again. "Charlie hates me."

"He doesn't hate you; he's pissed off at you," I said, holding Qahla's bone for her so she could chew on it. I didn't meet Jake's gaze.

"I'll do whatever I can to fix it; to fix everything."

"Jake? What's going to happen with you and Sam? I mean, are you going to patrol tonight?" I asked worriedly.

"Yeah, I'll patrol. Right now we're just staying away from each other; he's not ordering me to do anything."

I kept my other question to myself. After he left, I took Qahla outside to run around. I sat on the steps, listening to the rain drip off the roof as she tore around the yard, her ears flapping. There were things I wanted to know about this imprint, but it still hurt a little to think about and I was worried about the answers. And Jake wasn't offering anything; I think he was afraid of bringing it up. To move on completely, it was going to have to come up. Back inside Charlie called me.

"Bells?" he said, looking up from the television. "What the hell happened?" he asked.

"I…" I had no idea what to say. "It's not really my place to say," I added lamely.

Charlie narrowed his eyes at me. "How is it not your place to say? I'm your father; he obviously did something to hurt you that much and now you're forgiving him? I want to know why you are."

"Dad, it's truly complicated. There were a lot of misunderstandings, but what happened was pretty personal, so I really shouldn't go into it. Jake means it, though. It might take some time to make up for what happened, but I still… love him. And he loves me."

Charlie didn't say anything. He seemed to be pondering that. "_I _still can't forgive him that easily."

I nodded, knowing how much I had put Charlie through. And he had already gone through it once before, though he hadn't been as pro-active. I took Qahla upstairs with me to go to bed. I checked my email; Renee had sent me another one. I had finally emailed her and gave her the basics, but kept it really low-key so as not to freak her out. Now she was sending me emails even more often, worried about how I was doing. She was perceptive; she knew I hadn't been doing that well. I emailed her back and let her know that Jake and I were trying to work things out. When I was done, I changed and crawled into bed, Qahla settling at my feet.

I lay there, worrying about Jake patrolling.

With Leah.

I swallowed hard, trying not to let my thoughts run rampant. I was so afraid to ask him if he and Leah had _tried_ anything to test the imprint. Did he… kiss her? Did they do more? I knew I was being stupid, but that damn poisonous weed wouldn't let go in my mind. He had seen her naked, though, and that bothered me more now than it ever had.

I sat up in bed and glanced out the window. The moon glinted off russet fur right inside the forest. I could faintly see the shape of Jake as a wolf, the shine of his teeth and his eyes. If I didn't know it would be terrifying, but seeing a gigantic wolf in the forest outside of my house was comforting. And seeing him there alleviated some of my paranoia and I was able to drift off to sleep.

* * *

**JPOV:**

All the careful touches, the asking before I kissed her, trying to be careful of what I was talking about was driving me crazy. I knew it was for the best, and I knew it was what Bella needed, so I was okay with it. But it was hard when all I wanted to do was tangle my hands in her thick hair, kiss her senseless, get her naked, and hold her throughout every single night of the rest of my life. Not necessarily in that order.

Everyone's thoughts were quiet, though I could sense the undercurrent of burning curiosity. Everyone wanted to know how it went with Bella. Finally, I gave in.

_We're trying to work it out,_ I sighed. _She's a bit hesitant, and I certainly understand why._

What I didn't say was that it was going to drive me crazy.

_Well, that's good, right? _Seth said happily.

_I'm happy for you, Jake. I honestly had no idea what would happen_, Quil responded.

I nosed my way through some bushes, making sure there was no unfamiliar scent. As everyone chimed in they were happy for me, I could hear the relief, too. I knew I had been a pain in the ass.

_I hope this works out for the best for you_, Leah added at the end. She came out from the bushes on my other side and gave me an affectionate head-butt. I flashed my teeth at her in a wolf-grin.

_Thanks… and I'm sorry everyone, for… well, you know, _I said uncomfortably.

Instead of harassing me for once, they all accepted it with good grace. It didn't pass by me that Sam hadn't commented. We were on very uneven footing. I could feel the sadness, the hurt radiating off of him, though I could also sense he was happy for me deep down.

I stood near the edge of the forest by myself, looking up at Bella's window. I stood there, staring intently, when suddenly she sat up in bed and looked straight at me. That pinch of worry, of sadness was still between her brows, though it eased a little when she looked at me. I was grateful I could still comfort her in some way. I waited until I heard her breathing even out and went back to sniffing through the forest. The scent of moss and wet leaves filled my nostrils and I barely caught the scent of something animal-like. It felt off again; it was always just a feeling.

I alerted everyone and they sniffed more thoroughly. Suddenly I heard a rustling in the bushes and I snarled furiously.

Leah, Quil and Embry backed me up. A huge vampire barreled out of the bushes, anger and fear on his face. The anger I understood, but the fear? My ears flattened and I charged forward. He put up a hell of a fight; I tore at his arm, Quil at his leg.

As Leah leaped at him, I heard him snarl. "They'll get you, dogs. Wait and see; they will get you!" It was a half-moan, half-enraged mumble.

I ripped his head off as Leah and Quil held him down. We finished ripping him apart, then phased back and slipped into our clothes to burn the pieces.

"What the hell was he talking about?" Quil demanded, worry lacing his tone.

"I have no idea," I said. "But I don't like it. I need to keep a better **eye** on Bella and Charlie, though. This isn't good." I let Leah and Quil pass on the message as I ran back towards the perimeter of Bella's back yard. If I listened closely, I could hear her soft breathing. I also heard the rumbling snore coming from Charlie's room. I continued making my rounds in the vicinity of Bella. There was no way in hell I was going to lose her again – in any way.

* * *

**BPOV:**

The next morning I made waffles; a bit of a peace offering for Charlie. Breakfast was a quiet affair and when finished, he headed off to work. I took a shower and got dressed for the day. I had a shift at Newton's. When I got there, Mike noticed the improvement to my mood right away.

"Bella! You seem… happier."

I smiled. "I am. I talked to Jake, and we are giving it another try."

"Really?" He frowned. "I mean, that's great, but is it such a good idea?"

"He never meant to hurt me, though he knows he did. There were just other people involved, so it took awhile to work things out. He's willing to give me the time I need to move on from this, so we're trying." It felt odd sharing with Mike, but this time I knew he was just being friendly and was concerned.

Mike nodded and we chatted easily about other things through the rest of the shift. I hung my vest up when it was time to leave and called out a goodbye to Mike. Outside Jake leaned against my truck, waiting for me. As I walked over, I took him in as if I hadn't seen him in forever. His dark hair looked as if it might have been cut, but it was still on the longer side; and perpetually wind-blown. His eyes met mine, and I could see them lit up with love, hope, and a little bit of fear. His arms were crossed over his chest, and I could see the line of thick muscle in his arms; his legs were casually crossed at the ankles. His full lips curved into a smile when I reached him.

He started to hug me carefully, then his exuberance got the best of him, and I ended up gasping for air. It was a welcome feeling for once.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, allowing a small smile to curl my lips.

He twirled his fingers in my hair. "I wanted to see you. So, I decided to run over here and drive you home."

Rather suddenly, Jake's smile turned into a glower and I raised my eyebrows in surprise. Before I could ask what the problem was, I heard Mike behind me.

"See you, Bella. Jake… treat her right, you hear me?" Mike said his voice a shade cooler than normal.

I felt Jake's arms tremble around me and when he made a move as if he were going to go after Mike, I tugged at his arm. "Jake… Jake, what's wrong with you? What are you doing?"

He didn't say anything, but his jaw was clenching. I put my hand on his face and pulled until he turned to face me. I raised my eyebrows at him. He sighed. "Sorry. Um, I have to ask you something. Quil didn't really… mean to let me know… but he said you, you went out with Mike."

My mouth popped open in surprise.

Jake's face was a mix of emotions. He looked guilty. Also, a little pissed off and genuinely upset about it.

"Yes. I did go out with him, but not in the way you're thinking."

"Oh? Y-you didn't kiss him or anything, did you?" He wouldn't meet my eyes. "I'm sorry. I have no right to get upset over this."

I smiled a little at the jealousy; it was nice to know I wasn't the only one feeling it.

"No, Jake. He tried…" I felt his arms tighten again and hurried on. "But we didn't. I talked it out with him; we are just friends. That's it."

As we got in the truck, I felt that nagging question come back. "Um, Jake?"

He had pulled me into his side, so I leaned my head on his shoulder so I didn't have to look at him as he drove us back to Charlie's. "Yeah?"

"I've been wondering… well, did you, um, kiss _her_? Or try anything with her to make sure the imprint was different?" I bit my lip, feeling my cheeks heat.

He parked and turned toward me in surprise. "No Bells. I had no desire to test the theory. And we certainly weren't going to do _anything else_," he said.

I blushed and looked away, but he turned me back to face him. "You are still the only girl I have been with. There is no one else I would ever consider," he said softly.

I met his eyes then and he leaned down, cupping my face lightly, and pressed his lips to mine. When I felt his tongue stroke over my lip, I opened my mouth. I couldn't believe how amazing it felt to have his tongue move against mine again. My fingers pulled through his hair until I managed to pull myself away.

He leaned his forehead against mine. "I have to go," he murmured. "But I'll see you later tonight?"

I nodded and with one last kiss I went inside to start getting dinner ready. I got the casserole in the oven, took Qahla outside to play a little, and then lay on the couch with her, reading until Charlie came home. He had started giving me a hug every day when he got home, which I found rather endearing. Neither of us was very demonstrative, but what happened seemed to have bonded us more than before. While I was washing the dishes afterward, the phone rang.

Emily was on the other end. "Bella? Are you doing anything tonight?"

"Um, I was going to see Jake," I said. "Why?"

"Good. How would you like to see Jake overnight… and completely alone?"

I furrowed my brow, confused. "Huh?"

"Sam and I are going into Hoquiam – not far in case he's needed - just for an overnight getaway; he wanted to talk to me and to work things out." I could still hear that lingering trace of sadness in her voice. "So, as a peace offering towards Jake about what happened, we thought maybe you two would like to stay here tonight. I figured you could just tell Charlie that Sam is going away for the night and I asked you to stay with me. The other pack members agreed to take shifts, so it would free time up for you and Jake to work things out and for me and Sam."

I didn't know quite what to say. A night completely alone with Jake? I wanted that more than I thought possible, but now I felt nervous because of… well, everything. But we could talk things out easier if we were alone and had the whole night.

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"Positive." So I agreed.

Charlie watched me closely when I asked him if I could stay with Emily to keep her company. Maybe my lying had gotten a little better, because he didn't seem to realize anything was amiss. I still felt guilty about lying to him; I knew one of these days we would need to have a better talk, because I couldn't keep doing that to him after all he had done for me. I vowed it would be soon, but right now I didn't want to jeopardize this unexpected time alone I would have with Jake.

Upstairs I took a quick shower and nervously packed some clothes and pajamas in my bag. When I opened my top drawer, I found the necklace Jake made for me. I rubbed my fingers over the soft wood and carefully tucked it into my bag. I changed into my nicer panties and pulled on my jeans and t-shirt.

I said goodnight to Charlie and drove to Sam and Emily's place. Emily was waiting at the door for me. She pulled me into a hug when I reached her. "I'm so glad you two are working things out," she said.

I smiled shyly. "Me too. And I'm really glad you and Sam are going away; I think you both need it."

She sighed. "Yeah, we do. I know he's been feeling a wide range of emotions the past few weeks and you know how Sam is; always in control, so he's having a hard time. He really wants to try and make things up to me."

She led me inside and I smiled when I saw she had cleaned until the counters sparkled. The dining room table had a vase of flowers on it and she pointed out there was plenty to eat in the fridge. She had made up the extra bedroom as well with fresh sheets and had laid pale green towels out for us in the bathroom.

"Thank you, Emily. You didn't have to go to so much trouble, though."

"No trouble at all." Just then we heard a car door. Jake was here and butterflies took off at lightning-speed in my stomach.

His eyes sought mine as soon as he stepped inside. They lingered on me as he talked to Emily. "Where's Sam?" he asked. His tone was a little uncomfortable.

"He's working shifts out with the rest of the pack," she said. What we all knew, but Emily didn't say, was that he was still giving Jacob space. I hoped they could work this out somehow.

Jake took Emily's bag out for her and I watched them exchange a few words and a hug. I tried to busy myself with unloading my toiletries, trying to ignore the unspoken fears and hopes I had for tonight. When I came out of the bathroom, Jake was standing by the front window, watching Sam and Emily leave the reservation.

He turned toward me and I could see the same fears and hopes flickering in his dark, expressive eyes. I walked toward him and he opened his arms to me. Tonight we would talk and, as my stomach quivered at the thought, we would connect in other ways, too. I lay my head on his warm chest ready for what the night would bring.


	20. Together

**A/N: Thanks to the anonymous reviews as always!**

"**Fever"**

**Never know how much I love you  
Never know how much I care.  
When you put your arms around me  
I get a fever that's so hard to bear.**

You give me fever  
When you kiss me  
Fever when you hold me tight.  
Fever! In the morning  
Fever all through the night.

**What a lovely way to burn.**

* * *

Jake and I stood in the living room, just enjoying the feel of each other. He was so incredibly warm, and I tried to move in as close as possible. His hands were moving from the small of my back slowly up to my neck leaving a heated path in their wake. I knew we had to talk, but I was just trying to enjoy the moment. And ignore my nervous feeling about what we had to talk _about._

Jake finally broke the silence. "Bells?" he asked, brushing my hair away from my face.

"Hmm?" I murmured.

"I just wanted to know why you, um, came down that day. For some reason, I got the impression you came to tell me something."

I bit my lip. I knew how I felt about him then and now, and though I wanted to tell him, I wasn't sure I wanted him to know that was the reason I came. It was going to hurt.

"No reason, I just wanted to see you," I murmured.

He tilted my chin up so I was looking at him. "Bella, you're a bad liar. You can tell me, honey."

I shook my head. "I don't want to hurt you."

His brow furrowed. "Why do you say that? We should just air everything out, Bella. We have a lot to talk about."

I sighed. Looking down, I managed to mumble it. "I came to tell you that I'm in love with you."

When Jake didn't say anything - or move - I glanced up hesitantly. The pain mingled with disbelief. Before I could say or do anything, he pulled me up into his arms; my legs automatically gripped his hips, my arms around his neck. He kissed me, over and over. "Oh Bella," he said softly, "I'm so sorry; more than sorry."

I stroked a finger under his eye, catching a stray tear. "I've wanted to hear you say that for so long," he whispered against my mouth. "I'm so sorry, Bella. I wish I was just a normal guy. I hate that you got hurt."

He let me slide down his body after that dizzying kiss. Feeling a bit weak at the knees, I dropped down onto the sofa. He sat next to me and pulled me against his body. His lips brushed against my hair, my temple, as I curled into him. Night had settled in fully, the light of the moon coming in through the window. I gave a small sigh; I knew we needed to discuss this even though it worried me.

"Jake? I'm kind of confused about your relationship with _her._" I knew it was childish, but I couldn't refer to her by name yet. "I mean, how do you know it won't change in the future? You said your ancestor married someone other than his imprint and was completely in love with her, but does that guarantee the imprint won't change later?"

He slid his fingers into my hair, twisting it around his fingers. "It's kind of hard to explain about the vision quest. Taha Aki didn't talk, but when I saw what he was showing me I knew without a doubt. It was felt more than told. I know that's hard to swallow, but Bella, I promise that I know with certainty that it won't change. It was a pretty rare thing, but he fought it and so did I and there is no reversing it. Do you trust me?" he asked vulnerability in his eyes.

I thought about it. Jake never lied to me, he always tried to do what was right by me. Granted, he made mistakes, but to doubt him now was foolish. I came this far, and I knew he wouldn't lie to me or keep something from me again. So I nodded, meeting his eyes, letting him see just how much I trusted him. He stroked my cheeks with his fingers, leaning down to kiss me, dipping his tongue inside my mouth.

The kiss got more heated, and I ended up on Jake's lap. I felt his fingers move under the bottom edge of my t-shirt. I lifted my arms, breaking the kiss, and he pulled my shirt over my head. Our mouths met again urgently in another heated battle of lips and tongues as he undid my pants. I managed to kick them off and keep kissing him.

As much as I wanted to continue, we weren't exactly done. We both had the same thought and reluctantly pulled away. He rested his forehead against mine while we tried to catch our breath. I laid my head on his shoulder and let my breathing even out. Our hands explored bared skin - my back, his chest, and my thighs. We were re-learning each other's bodies.

"Jake?" I had to continue to ask the hard questions; ones I wasn't sure I wanted to hear. "Why didn't you imprint on me?" I whispered.

His hands spread over my back. His breath tickled the hairs resting against my neck. "Bells, I don't really know. But I think it means more that I imprinted on someone else, but my heart still belongs to you. You have more power over me than an imprint. I love you more than an imprint. I don't know why I didn't, but shouldn't that mean something more?"

When I thought about it like that, it made sense. And it made me smile.

Then I hesitated when I thought about her. "So, why do you think you imprinted on her then?"

He pulled me in closer, and I buried my face in his neck. "Going by what I felt from that vision, I think maybe I was destined to help Leah overcome the obstacles in her life. We had been coming to an understanding beforehand, so I guess that was natural. She's had no one to confide in, to help her move on. I think the imprint on my part was the sympathy for her, the idea that I could help someone suffering by being their friend and confidante. Does that make sense?"

When he put it like that, it made it a little easier. I still felt unsure about Leah, not knowing her well enough.

"But what about her? I don't like the idea of sharing you. And I don't like that this might mean something different to her." I couldn't look him in the eye when I said it; I felt like I was being difficult.

Jake tilted my chin up. "I had originally thought she would want an imprint so she could move on with that person and leave behind the pain of her and Sam's relationship. She surprised me, though. She's very independent, and she told me she didn't want to hurt you like she had been hurt; that she was starting to feel as if imprinting wasn't what she needed. I think she wants to be able to explore life, find someone of her own choosing to love. Bells, we want what is best for our imprints. She knows how I feel about you; they all do. She told me to go to you, knowing that's what I wanted."

"I want her to be happy, too" he continued. "If this imprint eases her pain and allows her to find someone she can love, then that's great. I didn't want this, though, Bella. I knew it would hurt you, and I can never forgive myself for not telling you we were trying to work it through, for making you hurt more. I wished it had never happened, but it did. I just hope you know how sorry I am for all this."

I felt the tears welling in my eyes. I took his face in my hands and kissed him softly. He kissed away any tears that escaped.

"One more question," I whispered. He nodded, his fingers now gliding over my bare stomach.

"Are you… going to want to spend time with Leah instead of me sometimes?" I was beginning to hate my weakness.

He idly twirled my hair. "If I had the choice, it would still be you, Bella. Sure, I'll want to talk to her, but it's not like we're going to be running off somewhere together. I see her enough anyway considering we're in the same pack and run into each other on the res."

The horrible notion struck me when I realized they would see each other naked. Jake took one look at my face and kissed me again understanding my expression. "Bells, honey, we don't look at each other; I promise it's not like that. I told you we have already, but we have been warning each other and the other looks away. I hate that that upsets you, but you are the only one I want to look at."

I knew that would bother me longer than I wanted, and I knew things weren't entirely back to normal, but we had made progress. I felt secure in Jake's love for me. Then I felt my stomach rumble; we had been talking for quite awhile and I felt hungry.

Jake grinned. "Hungry, Bells?"

I blushed and stood up, reaching for my shirt. "Would you… keep it off?" Jake asked, looking hesitant again. I bit my lip and nodded and we went out in the kitchen. Emily had kept the refrigerator well-stocked, so I pulled out various packages of cheese and lunchmeat and we made sandwiches in companionable silence.

He twined his fingers through mine as we ate. It was so quiet at Sam and Emily's. They were a little more separated from everyone else; I could hear the ticking of the clock, the wind outside. When we finished eating and had cleaned up, I felt a nervous burn in my stomach that had everything to do with Jacob being so close. I knew it wouldn't solve all of our problems, but I knew Jake loved me, and I wanted to show him how much I loved him. We seemed to have the same thought because when he looked at me I could nearly see the fire in his eyes.

As we kissed our way back to the living room, Jake pulled back to study me. "Bella? You do know we don't have to do this. As much as I want you, I don't want you to feel like you have to. We can wait if you need more time to think. I'm just happy to have you all to myself."

I smiled, but pulled him back down to me for another long, deep kiss. I wound my arms around his neck, twisting my fingers into his hair. I couldn't keep my hands in one place; they roamed from his hair, to his wide shoulders, to his back. He was doing the same thing. His fingers settled on the clasp of my bra and unsnapped it. I shrugged it off, feeling vulnerable and exposed. When his lips brushed over the tops of my breasts, something snapped in both of us.

Before I could react, I was on the floor on my back, Jake hovering over me. His mouth fused to mine, his tongue inside my mouth as I moaned and arched my hips.

"Uhhh…." I managed to gasp as I felt his erection press against my panties.

Jake pulled back, his eyes focused as he kissed my neck, trailing kisses down my chest. His mouth was so hot, and I writhed on the floor as he eagerly kissed my breasts.

"Oh Bella…" he groaned as his lips moved down my stomach. My eyes widened in shock when I felt his nose brush against my panties.

My body jerked in surprise as he made quick work of removing them. "Jake, I…" I managed to mutter before his mouth touched the sensitive area between my legs. The feelings ricocheted and I cried out in surprised pleasure.

I could sense he felt a little out of his league, but now that he was there, I wanted it so badly. I fisted his hair, my breath squeezing out in moaning pants as his tongue gently licked from the bottom of my slit to the top. "Ohhhhh, yes… oh Jake, that feels so gooood," I whimpered in a more high-pitched tone than normal.

He placed soft, open-mouthed kisses on me, finally flicking his tongue where I craved it. As he touched the sensitive nub with the tip of his tongue, I gave a small cry and felt him push my legs open wider. My hips had a mind of their own as I thrust upward, trying to get closer to his mouth. He focused on that area, his tongue circling, pressing, and then I felt his teeth scrape against it. My toes were digging into the carpet, my hands flexing in Jake's hair as my back arched up off the floor. Heat was spreading over every area of my body; then I felt Jake slip a finger inside me as he lightly sucked on my nub and the heat pooled in one spot. The cry ripped from my throat as my body shook convulsively with the force of my release.

I struggled to catch my breath as the after shocks rippled through my body. Jake immediately began kissing his way back up my body. "You taste so good, Bella," he murmured as his lips brushed my earlobe. I bit back a moan and sought out his mouth.

I could feel him reaching out, searching for his pants. I was so thankful at that moment that I had started and continued with the birth control pills even after everything that happened. "We don't need one," I mumbled against his mouth.

He pulled back and looked at me, knitting his eyebrows. "Um, Bells…?" he questioned. He suddenly looked nervous.

I giggled softly. "I, um, went on birth control before. I'm still on it. We don't need condoms," I explained.

His eyes widened and gleamed as his hands glided up my arms, pulling them behind his neck as he nudged between my thighs. The sensitivity of being pressed on after I released had me jumping slightly. Jake's mouth distracted me as he pressed kisses over my breasts and then he was pushing into me quickly. The combination of the sensitivity and still adjusting to the penetration had me whimpering and trying to back away.

"Are you okay?" he whispered, worry creasing his forehead.

"I'm just a little sensitive," I whispered back. His mouth traced patterns over my face and neck as he gave me a moment to adjust. Then I was lifting my hips and Jake gave a heavy thrust, scooting us over the carpet.

I couldn't help but laugh at the excitement of being together again. He thrust into me again and I felt the rug bite at my back, but I didn't care. It felt too good. Jake suddenly sat back on his heels, pulling me with him. We were still connected, and I was straddling his lap. I threw my arms around his neck with a little squeak as he stood, holding me against him.

"I want to make love to you the right way tonight. We should be in bed doing this," he explained as he carried me to the bedroom. The feeling of him inside me as he hurried us to bed had my eyes rolling back in my head.

I was lowered onto soft sheets and then he whispered that he loved me and was moving inside me in a way that drove me crazy. At one point we rolled over and I ended up on top of him. I felt my cheeks flush as he looked up at me, lust in his eyes. He tweaked my nipples and I moaned incoherently. "Mmmm… ohhh," was all I managed to utter.

My nerves settled as I found a rhythm on top of him. His hips arched up as I pushed down and he went so deep I lost the capability of even making sounds. My breath was uneven, sliding out in fragmented gasps. Jake was holding onto my hips when I looked down at him. "I love you so much, Bella," he said softly.

I felt the grin start from deep inside me and spread outward. "I love you, Jacob Black. I'm in love with you."

He blinked a few times, a huge smile curving his lips, his hips thrusting harder. I rocked faster on top of him as he groaned. "Bells, say it again. Please?"

I brushed my lips over his. "I love you, Jake. So much."

He kept his eyes, alight with love, on me as he reached down. He was stroking me, as our hips continued to move more quickly. We were both near the end and I placed my hands on his chest for support as I orgasmed for the second time that night, soft cries and I love you spilling from my lips. Jake followed with his own cry of release. My energy was sapped and I collapsed on top of him.

Jake turned so I was lying next to him as he pulled out of me. His long arms wrapped around me as I snuggled in closer, exhausted beyond belief. The movement of his chest as he breathed softly and the soft thump of his heart lulled me to sleep.

* * *

**JPOV:**

I was so tired, but I had to touch Bella, to feel every bit of her against me, before I could relax and sleep. As I lay there with her warm weight spread over me, I felt as content as was humanly possible. She was the best thing that ever happened to me. She was beautiful, smart, had a sense of humor, was sweet, forgiving; she was the perfect package. She was also sexy as hell, and even though I had no other experience to go on, she was amazing when we made love. I stroked a hand over her hip and nuzzled my face into her soft, thick hair. To think I could have lost her forever was excruciating. I knew we still had issues to work out, but I loved her. And she loved me. The grin crept back onto my face knowing that. She had told me she loved me.

I gave a contented sigh and tightened my arms around her. I drifted off to sleep.

It felt like no time had passed when I was startled awake. Bella was twitching against me, her brow furrowing and then smoothing out. She whimpered a little and muttered. "Jake… you won't? Are you sure?"

I smoothed my hand over her hair, down her arm where I laced my fingers with hers. She woke slowly, eyes a little damp and unfocused and looked at me immediately. It felt as if she were checking to make sure I was still here. I rolled to face her, pressing my lips to hers. "I'm not going anywhere, honey. Its okay; go back to sleep."

She smiled slightly and curled back into me, drifting off immediately and I followed suit.

When I woke the following morning, I could feel weak rays of light on my face. I stretched and reached out for Bella. Frowning, I opened my eyes. She was gone and so was the blanket, though she left me with the sheet. I rolled out of bed and padded naked out into the hall, my keen sense of smell following the scent of bacon and eggs to the kitchen. My lips curled into a grin as I leaned against the doorjamb watching Bella get everything ready. She was clearly in her element. She was bustling around the stove, the scrambled eggs covered to keep warm, with the blanket knotted neatly at her chest. The rest of it was draped around her small frame leaving plenty to drag on the floor behind her. Her hair stuck up in an adorable, messy way.

I moved up behind her – conveniently when she was away from the stove – and wrapped my arms around her. "Morning, Bells."

She gave a little gasp of surprise and then leaned back against me. I reached up to push her tangled hair out of the way and kissed her neck, then gave her a raspberry which made her giggle quietly. God, I loved hearing her laugh. She turned in my arms to face me and I leaned down to kiss her. It was slow and languid leaving plenty of time for me to get hard.

When I pulled away, she realized I was naked and reddened a little. I was apparently ready for some action, too, which she noticed right away. It was so cute how she would turn away, but then sneak a look. Then she surprised me by staring fully at me, a smirk lurking behind that innocent expression.

I laughed. "So, Bella, it seems you could use a shower," I said, trying to contain my laughter.

Her brow furrowed. "What…?" she started to question, but I scooped her up and tossed her over my shoulder in response and carried her to the bathroom.

Her laughter trailed behind us as I took her into the bathroom and turned the shower on. We were _so _going to take a shower. Together. Right now. I hauled her into the shower with me and shortly after we were both moaning, steaming the bathroom up even more. It was one of the longest – and most definitely the best – showers I had ever had.

* * *

**BPOV:**

We sat at Sam and Emily's little kitchen table eating lukewarm eggs and bacon. It was such a good feeling; I wanted to cling to the normalcy of it. We were alone together, there was no danger, and there were no lingering issues to deal with in this moment. I grinned as I ate my breakfast; that had been one hell of a shower. Jake certainly knew how to use those large, beautiful hands of his. His mouth, his hands, the way he had pushed against me from behind had been enough to nearly drive me crazy. My body was still feeling a bit weak from his attentions.

I looked at the clock and realized we only had a couple hours until Sam and Emily came home. Then it would be back to reality; trying to fit in time to see each other and to deal with the Leah thing. I hoped that Jake was right about Leah wanting to not hurt our relationship. I didn't doubt him, but I was still nervous, still a little upset over it. I was just so grateful we had this time alone together. It had helped a lot.

Jake interrupted my thoughts. "Hey Bells? I kind of had an idea I wanted to run by you."

I raised my eyebrows as I finished off my eggs.

"You know how you mentioned about us going to Florida to see your mom? Well, I thought maybe we actually could go. Soon. Just for a couple days; I think we could still use the time alone to work on things, to just get away for a little bit."

My mouth opened in surprise. "That's a nice thought, Jake, but I don't know… I don't think I can leave Charlie and Qahla alone. And what if we were followed? I can't put Renee and Phil in danger. Plus, you have your pack duties, right? And can you… um, be away from Leah like that?" I finished lamely, looking down.

He reached over and tilted my chin up. "Bells, I care about her. This imprint doesn't mean that I can't be separated from her, though. You're the one I can't stand being separated from."

I looked up at him and he smiled. "I love you, Bells."

"I love you, too," I whispered. The taste of those words on my tongue was delicious; made even better when I saw his sunny smile.

"As far as the pack, I kind of mentioned it, just to find out if it'd be possible. There was a lot of arguing and promising to fill in time slots for them, but they said they would patrol for me while we were gone. Charlie and Qahla, all your friends would be well looked after. And we would be sneaky about leaving; nothing would trail us."

I bit my lip, gazing out the window toward the forest. In the light it didn't look so threatening; the trees were a deep green, swaying lightly in the soft rain, the sun glinting off them as it randomly peeked out from behind the banks of clouds. I didn't doubt the pack would take care of my family and friends, but it still scared me a little to run off and not know first-hand they were fine.

"Charlie's another matter," I added as an afterthought. "I don't know if he'll go for it. He's not too happy about this," I murmured.

Jake nodded. "I know. I need to talk to him anyway," he sighed. "But let's give it a try, if you want to go."

I nodded. I couldn't help but love the idea of going to Jacksonville with Jake. We cleaned up our dishes and he took me for a quick run through the woods on his back. I found that I really enjoyed it after that first time; it was quite a rush. Afterward, I threw our sheets in the wash and we cuddled on the couch, watching television until Sam and Emily got home. When they got there, I smiled seeing Emily's eyes looking lighter than before and Sam seemed a little less rigid.

Emily motioned for me to follow her into the kitchen, leaving Sam in the living room with Jake. I could feel the tension, and I hoped they would be able to work things out. In the kitchen, Emily turned to me, her eyes bright with excitement.

"Sam and I set the date!" she exclaimed in a whisper.

"What?! Oh Emily, that's great!" I gave her a hug. "When are you planning on it?"

"We want to get married in the spring, so we planned for the last Saturday of April. You will be a part of this with me, right?" Her smile was infectious; she was just that happy.

"Of course, if you want me! I'm so glad everything went well for you and Sam."

She put some water in the kettle to make tea. "Yeah, we talked a lot of things over. He explained about Leah." She looked a bit reflective and sad. "But it's over and done with. I'm hoping we can both begin to repair our relationships with her now. She is my family, after all," she said softly and I understood her sadness.

Sam and Jake had disappeared outside, so I sat with Emily and she told me a little about Leah and it actually helped me as well as her. Hearing about her from another woman's perspective was enlightening. She also told me that she and Sam had talked more about having children. Her face lit up as she told me she would love to have two or three children; that Sam said he was ready for them. She said they were going to try probably closer to the wedding date, but they both saw no reason for waiting. She asked me about how it went with Jake. I gave her the basics and she was happy for us.

Finally Jake popped his head in the door. "Bells? You ready to go?"

I didn't want to let go of the night we spent, to go back to problems that were daunting to face, but I knew I had to. I said goodbye to Emily, thankful that I had someone to chat with about all the craziness of dating a werewolf. He drove me home and promised to be back later to talk to Charlie. He headed home and I went in to get ready for my afternoon shift at Newton's. As I left for work, I reflected on how we had made some headway last night and I just hoped it would work that way with Charlie as well.


	21. Confrontation

**A/N: Thanks to Arianna, Emma, and Adri for such nice reviews. **

* * *

When I got home from work my stomach immediately began protesting. I was irrationally nervous about confronting Charlie and having Jake confront Charlie. In the hopes of softening him up, I prepared some marinade for the fish he caught that he had been saying he was hungry for. As soon as I finished that and cut up some vegetables, I took Qahla outside then I went upstairs to change into sweats and a t-shirt. I couldn't help daydreaming about last night and this morning; I was amazed that considering we had only had sex a handful of times, Jake seemed to know exactly what he was doing and how to get me excited. I continued to daydream until I heard the door open.

"Bells? It's me," I heard Jake call out. I hurried around the corner, sliding a little in my socks. Jake laughed and caught me before I fell over.

"I know you're excited to see me, but there's no need to swoon," he teased as he pulled me in for a hug. I just rolled my eyes and tilted my head back for a kiss which he promptly planted on me.

It eased my nerves for a whole minute. I glanced at the clock, nervous, and hurried back in the kitchen to get the fish on the stove. Jake helped me by getting the table set. "You know," he said as he got the glasses out, "I took another shower after working today. It was no fun at all," he said mischievously.

I blushed as I recalled our shower together. Jake's hands had been so warm…

I shook my head, trying not to let him distract me, but then I felt those warm hands catch my hips. I turned and pressed my hands to his chest, which was actually covered by a t-shirt. A tight one; one that showed the definition of his chest…

Again I was losing my train of thought. Then he pressed his warm lips to mine again in a deeper kiss. I wrapped my arms around him, moving in as close as possible. Just as his tongue dipped inside my mouth, I heard the door open. I jerked away quickly. My stomach began rolling wildly. Jake's hand stroked my hair and my back. He leaned in to kiss my ear. "Calm down, honey," he murmured.

I turned as Charlie came into the kitchen. He took one look at Jake and his expression hardened and turned several degrees colder. "Dad," I managed to say through numb lips, "Is it okay if Jake stays for dinner?"

He didn't say anything, wouldn't even look at him, and shrugged in what I assumed was acquiescence. Everyone served themselves and it was one of the quietest, most awkward meals I had ever had. Even Jake kept quiet, not wanting to rock the boat while we ate. They both mumbled about how it was very good, but lapsed into silence after. I felt as if I were inhaling my supper I was that out of sorts. When everyone was finished, Charlie cleaned his plate and disappeared into the living room.

We finished cleaning up in silence. I swallowed hard when it was over knowing the inevitable was upon us. Jake squeezed my hand and led me into the living room where Charlie was half-sprawled on the armchair. "Charlie?" Jake said. "Can I talk to you?"

Charlie turned slowly to face us, his expression still hard. He raised an eyebrow, but didn't move a muscle. Jake sat on the sofa, gently tugging me down, too. He leaned his elbows on his knees, his hands dangling between his legs. For a moment all was quiet except for the sounds of the game on the television.

"I didn't really get to apologize to you the other day. I'm sorry for what happened," he said simply.

Charlie turned to look at him again. "You're sorry? Sorry doesn't change the fact that I sat up at least half the night with Bella while she cried over you. Sorry doesn't change the fact that I could always hear her crying. Sorry doesn't change the fact that I had to see that dead expression and the listlessness for a second time."

"Dad," I mumbled. Jake's expression had me rubbing my hand over his back, trying to let him know it was okay now without Charlie seeing.

"Its okay, Bells," Jake said. The lingering pain on his face still hurt me.

"Yeah, maybe he should understand the consequences of his actions," Charlie said, his lips pressed together.

"I do," Jake whispered. "I can't even begin to say how sorry I am for hurting Bella. It's not something I'll easily forget."

"What the hell did you do?" Charlie snapped, getting into it now. "And _why_ did you do this to her?"

I realized something at that moment. Charlie was asking the questions about why Jake did this in regards to me, but his expression made me realize that he had been hurt, too. The realization sank in; I knew his anger was mostly for my benefit, but Charlie had gotten hurt in the process. First it was seeing me hurt, then he had been hurt because he had cared a great deal about Jake. I realized he hadn't talked to Billy since they had yelled at each other over the phone. I sighed softly.

Charlie continued. "Did you cheat on her?" He was beginning to turn red, his voice getting louder.

"No!" Jake exclaimed surprised. "No, I didn't cheat on her. I would _never_ do that to her. Charlie, I know this doesn't help, but I can't really give the details. I mean, it has to do with… lets say our tribe and there was a lot of confusion and it involved other people. I didn't know if I could be with Bella, but I still loved her. So I had to wait it out. I should have told her what was going on, but I didn't want to promise her something I couldn't give."

"But we worked it out; I'm very lucky that she's forgiving me," he said, the warmth of his leg moving to press against mine.

"You're damn right you're lucky after what you did to her," he growled. "I still don't know why she forgave you so quickly."

I decided maybe it was time to interject. "Dad," I said softly, staring straight at him. "It was a lot of misunderstandings; Jake didn't mean for me to get hurt. Yes, he made mistakes. I also didn't forgive him right off the bat. We're working on it."

He didn't look quite as cold, but he was still stiff. He didn't say anything.

I took a deep breath. It was now or never. "Um, Dad?" I said hesitantly. "I know this may not be the best timing, but I was kind of hoping Jake and I could go see Mom. I still have those tickets, and I think a change of scenery would help us out; just for a couple days."

Charlie's head slowly swiveled in my direction. "You're kidding, right? Absolutely not!" he growled.

I sighed inwardly. "Dad, I know you're upset, but we would be staying with Mom and Phil."

"Why on earth would I let him travel alone with you?" His voice was rising again in irritation "I don't think so!"

Jake stayed quiet which was probably for the best. I really didn't want to have to pull the age card on Charlie; I could go if I wanted to since I was an adult, but I was trying to be reasonable and get his permission.

"Dad, I want to see Mom," I said a bit more stubbornly than I planned.

"Fine. You can see her without Jake," he muttered.

Jake interjected. "I understand Charlie. You can think it over if you feel like it; it's nothing sneaky. We just wanted to go visit and spend some time in the warmer weather, that's all."

He stood then, casually pulling me up with him. "I'm going to head out," Jake said lightly. "Night Charlie," he said as we walked out of the living room. We were at the front door, and I was about to say something when Charlie came out.

He looked very grudging and cranky. "Jacob," he said stiffly. "As much as I would rather not say this, I appreciate you talking to me face-to-face and manning up to your… issues," he muttered unwillingly.

Jake nodded slightly. "It was the least I could do. And by the way, Billy would never say this to me, but I know it's true. He misses his fishing partner," he replied. He knew exactly what was going on, too.

Charlie looked annoyed again. "Yeah yeah," he muttered, stomping out of the hall into the kitchen.

I turned to Jake and he was grinning. "What are you smiling about?" I said despondent. I had really started getting into the idea of going to Jacksonville together. "We aren't allowed to go. Or you're not."

"Oh, just give him a little time. He's got a right to be upset," he said softly, stroking my cheek. "I'm not giving up yet."

He leaned down to kiss me goodbye. I knew I wouldn't be seeing him tonight because of Charlie's habit of checking on me in the middle of the night lately, so I tightened my grip on his neck and kissed him harder. I was going to miss him tonight, though I was rewarded with a deeper, hungrier kiss.

With a groan he pulled away. "Sweet dreams, Bells," he whispered against my ear before kissing it and heading outside. I sighed and went upstairs to bed, resigned to sleeping alone.

* * *

The following morning Charlie didn't say much, and I wasn't quite ready to push the issue even more. So I continued to be the dutiful daughter by preparing dinner ahead of time to put in the oven later, and I cleaned the bathroom and did some light dusting all over the house. Just as I was about to finish, the phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Bells?" Just hearing his voice caused me to smile. "You want to come to the beach for a bonfire tonight?"

I was feeling rather desperate to get out of the house, so I readily agreed. He also told me of a plan to get Charlie and Billy together. He said Sue was in on it, and she was going to call Charlie to invite him down and Billy would be there. When Charlie got home, I told him where I was going and he grudgingly nodded. After dinner the phone rang and I smiled to myself when Charlie went to answer it. Maybe if he talked to Billy and they got back on better terms, it would bode better for me and Jake in going to Jacksonville.

As I finished the dishes, Charlie came back in. "Bells, I'm going to go to La Push, too, to visit with Sue for a little while. You want to carpool?" he asked.

I wasn't really into riding in the cruiser, plus I figured I would stay later than he did, so I told him I would drive separately. I followed him in the truck to La Push and watched as his car disappeared down the lane toward Sue's. I parked and Jake came out.

He gave me a hug, holding me tightly. "Um, Bells, you know Leah will be there, right? I just didn't want to catch you off guard with that tonight."

I had completely forgotten that she would probably be there and felt the nerves take flight. He noticed right away and tilted my face up. "We don't have to go if you don't want to; we can stay here if you want."

I watched him closely, but the idea of that didn't seem to bother him. So I said it was okay that we could go, and he gave me a piggyback ride as he jogged toward the beach. I felt the giggles bubble up as he weaved around the trees bordering the sand. As I clung to Jake's neck, I noticed the flames of the bonfire ahead flickering up trying to reach the black sky. Once we were close, he let me slide down his back.

He took my hand, and I swallowed hard as we walked toward the group of people already gathered. My fingers tightened around his when I saw Leah lounging against a log, long legs stretched out in front of her in the sand. I had seen Leah before, of course, but I was looking at her differently now. She had incredibly long legs, she looked rather sleek and fit, and the firelight highlighted her dark eyes making them look so much brighter. Her skin was glowing in the light, too, and her short dark hair looked smooth. I felt undeniably intimidated. As I watched her, she turned her head toward me, her eyes catching mine.

Her expression was very calm, just the hint of a smile curving her lips, but I was suddenly reminded of my dream a couple months ago; she had been wearing the wolf mask near the border of the beach and the forest.

She gave Jake a happy smile, which he returned, but it didn't seem out of the ordinary. Embry came over to us and gave me a big squeeze. "Glad to have you back with us, Bells," he said, giving me a sweet and shy smile.

I gave him a smile. "Thanks Embry. I appreciate what you did for me, too."

He grinned and then Seth swept me up into a hug, too. "Back where you belong, Bella! And hey, I don't want to interfere, but Lee doesn't mean any harm to your relationship. I know that probably doesn't really stop how you feel about it, but I wanted to tell you that."

I thanked him; the gesture was appreciated and being that he was Leah's brother, I figured he probably had a good idea. Everyone else greeted us as Jake dropped down next to Embry, pulling me down with him. Emily sat on my other side and she discreetly gave me an understanding smile. As the guys began chatting, Kim came over and sat with us, too.

"I'm so glad you're back with us, Bella," she said giving me a sweet smile. "I feel so bad I haven't seen you after… well, everything, but I hadn't been feeling very well."

"Thanks Kim," I replied. "Emily passed on your message, its fine," I said giving her a small smile.

Suddenly I felt Jake tense and I turned to him. "Shit," he muttered.

Just as I was about to ask what was wrong, I saw a few girls heading down the beach toward us. I caught sight of the one in the middle. She was as beautiful as Leah and Emily, but in a much showier way. Her long dark hair hung to the middle of her back, and it had braids woven in a couple places. Even her clothes were a bit showy. She was wearing impossibly low, tight jeans and a scoop-necked blouse in a deep green color that showed off her cleavage.

I was feeling entirely out of place. I still had no idea why Jake reacted like that, though, so I nudged him and raised an eyebrow. He leaned in, his lips brushing my hair. "It's Maria."

He didn't need to say anything else; I knew who he meant. He relaxed against the log, though, which was what showed me he was happy being here with me and made me feel better. As everyone greeted them, I saw Maria look over at me and Jake which made me a little uncomfortable. They sat down, though, and everyone was chatting until Maria piped up.

"Anyone feel like playing truth-or-dare?" she said, her deep voice at odds with her delicate features.

I so did _not_ want to play that game. I felt Jake lean over, his fingers brushing the hair away from my neck. "We can go, Bells. All you have to do is say the word."

I didn't want to seem like a wimp, and I did want to spent time with everyone else, so I whispered back that I was okay. Maybe I was making too big a deal out of it. The guys' agreed to play, though Jake kept quiet, busy stroking his fingers through my hair that hung down my back. I was only half paying attention; I was grateful the guys' seemed to be looking out for me and Jake, sticking to each other and the girls.

I giggled as Quil had to strip to his underwear and prance around the fire, though I felt a little embarrassed. Paul admitted that he had messed around with a girl when he was only thirteen when he asked for truth. As it went on, I vaguely heard Maria accept a dare from one of her friends. It didn't entirely sink in, but I saw her reach down and clasp her shirt and begin to pull it off. She had been dared to take her _shirt_ off?! I was beginning to feel anger burn low in my stomach when I saw her eyes dart toward Jake.

My jaw clenched as I caught the view before I was able to look away. She was well-endowed, clad in a low-cut silk bra that showed her off. I peeked over at Jake, but he had just rolled his eyes and kept them averted. He still didn't seem affected, so I relaxed a fraction. He could feel my tension, though, and he took my hand. "Come on, Bells, lets go."

The fact that he didn't look, nor did he want to look had calmed me down, though, and I just relaxed against his shoulder. As the game continued, it ended up getting back to Maria again and it was her other friend. This time it came through loud and clear just what she was doing as she was dared to kiss Jacob.

Jake's teeth were bared slightly; he knew what was going on. "I don't think so," he said, his voice cool. "The only girl I kiss is Bella."

Maria laughed lightly, still wearing no shirt. "Oh come on, Jake. It's just a game; and really it's not going to hurt you to give a quick, simple kiss to a woman now is it?" The slight emphasis on woman and her thrusting her chest out just a tad was too obvious and the last straw.

Before Jake could even say anything, I stood up. "Excuse me?" I was shaking on the inside, but I maintained my cool. "Are you seriously insinuating your _endowments_ are what make you a woman? Why don't you show a little respect for yourself as a woman and stop trying to flaunt yourself in front of a guy who prefers someone who is less-endowed!"

To say everyone looked shocked was an understatement. My eyes met Leah's through the flames and she had a small smile on her face, though her eyes were angry. I knew that was for Maria; I knew eventually Leah and I would have to talk, but I felt a bit of a connection to her in that moment.

"Go Bella!" Jared cheered.

As everyone hid their laughter, except for Paul, I felt Jake's arms slide around me. "Take me back to your house," I murmured and he scooped me up amid the genuine laughter now. I felt my cheeks heat furiously, but I felt strangely empowered for once. I had stood up for myself.

Back at Billy's, I was extremely thankful that Billy and Charlie were still at Sue's. Jake had disposed of my clothes so quickly I barely knew what had hit me until my legs were wrapped around his waist and my back was pressed to the wall. With a gentle, yet eager thrust he was inside of me and I forgot everything. I forgot that the pack with their super-sensitive hearing might hear us, I forgot about how I stood up for myself against someone I normally would be intimidated by, but I was aware deep down just how much Jake loved me. I clung to his shoulders, as our tongues mimicked the thrusting of our hips.

I felt my back thumping into the wall, Jake's hands gripping my hips, his lips moving over every inch of my face, and the cries that were escalating in volume as he pushed me to the brink. As I came back down from my high, Jake lowered us to the floor. I lay my head on his shoulder, content.

"Damn, that felt amazing," he said his breath hot against my ear.

I managed to nod. "Mmm, yes."

As we snuggled there, I thought about what happened. "I can't believe I said that. But now I feel sort of bad," I murmured.

Jake laughed, rubbing my back. "Bells, it was such a turn-on to see you like that. You were amazing. I was just about to lay into her, but you just let it rip without being nasty. She's had worse done to her. She'll get over it, just like always. She won't be bothering us again, though," he added with a little grin.

I laughed and then yawned. "You want to, um, go back and say goodbye to everyone before I take you home?" he said sheepishly, his cheeks looking a bit colored, too.

"Uh… NO!" I said hastily. "I'll wave goodbye as we leave."

With another laugh we got dressed. As we got into my truck, I saw the cruiser drive by and waved to Charlie as he headed out. Jake drove us within sight of the bonfire and honked the horn. A blush spread across my face like wildfire as all the guys' howled at us, laughing.

"Okay, I like being closer to your friends, but not _that_ close," I muttered.

Jake was fighting a smile. "Well, Bells, when you are, um, focused you can get a bit noisy."

It was definitely my night for blushing.

* * *

After a couple days, I decided to broach the subject of Jacksonville with Charlie again. I was sitting on the living room floor with Qahla, throwing her ball for her, watching her scrabble her way across the floor to get it.

I heard the front door open. "Bells? I brought some Chinese food home. And pizza."

An odd combination, but I figured Charlie was a little iffy about Chinese food. I went out into the kitchen and we prepared our plates and sat down. I nervously took a few bites of my Pork Lo Mein before I broached the subject.

"Dad? Um… I think I want to go to Jacksonville this weekend. I spoke with mom, and she said that was fine if you were okay with it."

Charlie looked up at me as he picked up his slice of pizza. His face was inscrutable. "By yourself, right?"

I sighed. "Dad. I know you're upset with Jake, but I also know he is trying to show you he means what he's saying. I also know I'm old enough to make these decisions by myself, but I would like to do this without you getting upset because I appreciate that you were there for me and because I love you."

I felt my cheeks warm; I wasn't used to talking to Charlie like this.

"So please Dad? Jake isn't going to stop trying if you say yes; he cares about you as well and wants to show you he is willing to fix this. This will be just a couple days and we'll be with mom and Phil."

I stared down at my chicken and snow peas, poking at it with my fork, unable to look up at Charlie.

I heard him sigh finally. "If I say yes, and Billy says yes, I will be talking to your mother about this. I want rules set about this."

I tried to resist the urge to roll my eyes considering I was close to getting a yes. Charlie seemed to know we were sleeping together, yet he was still trying to set rules? I didn't bother complaining, though, because denial seemed to be Charlie's best friend lately. And I couldn't help realizing he mentioned Billy, so it seemed they were progressing. So I let him hem and haw as we continued to eat.

As I was finishing up cleaning the dishes he had put in the sink for me he finally grunted. "Fine, you can both go to Jacksonville."

I immediately threw myself at him, as excitement for going away with Jake and fear of leaving those I loved behind – even for a couple days – overwhelmed me. "Thank you, Dad!" I gave him a huge squeeze and then took off for the steps.

"I'm calling your mother as soon as you're off the phone!" Charlie yelled after me, but I barely heard him.

I called Jake immediately and told him the news. As he crowed with delight, I begged him to reassure me Charlie, Qahla and everyone else would be well looked after. He told me that the pack would watch over them as closely as they would their own family and deep down I knew they would.

I called Renee for Charlie and told her the news and listened to her squeal with happiness over me coming to visit. Once she finished and I got all the details to make the flight arrangements I let Charlie talk to her. I didn't want to hear that conversation so I immediately pulled my luggage out and prepared a list of what to take. As I rifled through my underwear drawer, I paused, remembering the bra Maria had been wearing. It was so not my thing and even though I knew Jake didn't spare her a second glance, I couldn't help wondering if he liked that sort of thing. I decided a trip to Port Angeles might be in order and picked the least meddlesome person to go with me. I called Angela and she agreed to go with me the following day.

When I crawled into bed later, it finally felt like all the danger and the imprint issues had been put on the back burner for now which is where I wanted it. I wanted to go to Jacksonville, see my mom, soak up the sunshine, and do all the things there I couldn't do here with Jake. I snitched the phone again after Charlie had gone to sleep and called Jake. He answered immediately. We talked excited about what we would do there until I finally felt sleepy. I drifted off to sleep that night with a huge smile on my face.

* * *

**A/N: Yep, another one. Haha. I worked on this through holiday shopping that *still* isn't done, holiday parties, work, and getting the stomach flu to have this up before Christmas as a present to you all. So, if you'd like to reciprocate, leave me many reviews! How's that for a guilt trip? **** hehe.**

**Merry Christmas to everyone who celebrates it! And Happy Holidays to anyone who doesn't but celebrates something else. **


	22. Bon Voyage

**A/N: I'm Queen of the author notes lately, but I'm feeling vaguely sentimental over the new year so I'd like to thank repeat, new, occasional, and anonymous reviewers for doing so. So many nice things have been said and it truly does help… in fact it has pushed me to move past my procrastination and start working on more stuff in the hopes of being published. So thank you! And Happy New Year!**

**I'm dedicating the "cake batter ice cream" part to ILW, ILA, Agresha, and BB for their overactive swirly imaginations. ;) Enjoy ladies!**

* * *

The morning of our flight to Jacksonville I was a nervous wreck. I spent the better part of the wee hours of the morning throwing the rest of my stuff into my suitcase, trying to locate the new things I had purchased on my trip to Port Angeles with Angela the other day.

As I packed the lacy, low-cut red and black bra and panty set, I couldn't help but feel a little silly and excited for Jake to see it. Angela and I had made a day of it; we went out for some lunch, then we went to the bookstore where we both spent an inordinate amount of time with our noses buried in books. I kept putting off the clothes shopping part because although I had wanted the company I also kind of wanted to buy the lingerie by myself. I had never discussed this kind of stuff with Angela… or anyone.

I managed to slip away from Angela telling her I needed to grab a couple things while she was debating over a shirt, but I had been so lost. There were racks and racks of bras with lace, some were see-through which I couldn't bring myself to try and some were just plain weird. I found a rack that looked promising; it promised uplift and it was silky with just a touch of lace. I picked out one to try, holding it sort of behind me as I headed for the dressing room. My ruse to slip away from Angela didn't last long, though, as she had caught me red-handed.

She was blushing, too, but she grinned. "That's close to the one I bought," she admitted. "Ben really likes it too, so I'm sure Jacob would be into it."

We were both surprised by the admission and then we started laughing. She headed back over to the racks and she found another similar one with a slightly different cut. It looked like it would emphasize even more. I tried everything on and felt very exposed in them. They certainly did their job, though, so I ended up buying both and getting matching panties.

I heard Charlie downstairs making coffee, so I knew he was up and getting ready to drive us to the airport. He may have been in the beginning stages of forgiving Jake, but I wasn't relishing the drive to the Fairchild International airport in Port Angeles. He still wasn't entirely happy about the whole thing.

I finished packing and went downstairs to eat. The car ride was long and painful; Charlie stayed pretty quiet, so Jake and I did, too, though we kept casting excited looks at each other. I was nervous, though, thinking about the pack making sure no one was around when we left and then covering my scent to keep any vampires confused of my trail. The plane ride luckily wasn't too bad; we passed the time talking and sleeping. Though Jake had to mention the mile high club, making me blush and him laugh.

When I caught sight of my mom, she practically flung herself at me. "Honey, I've missed you!" she cried, acting as if she hadn't seen me in years. But I didn't let her go right away.

She hugged Jake, stretching up on her toes to do so, though I could tell she was a little hesitant about everything that had happened. Her effort was better than Charlie's, though that was because she wasn't witness to what happened. I hugged Phil and my mom chattered all the way back to their house. In the car, Jake twisted his fingers with mine, his face tilted toward the bright Florida sun, his eyes half-closed.

Their house was perfect. It was an adorable two-story in a small development. The house was white with pretty blue shutters. Renee had been gardening as well; she told me she had planted scarlet hibiscus and orchids, which really brightened things up. The backyard was small to average with a beautiful Taiwan Cherry tree that was still bearing the fruit and an above ground pool situated near the back porch. We went inside into a hall that branched off into a sunny yellow living room decorated with wooden carvings of seashells, boats, and lighthouses.

The kitchen was a more muted yellow with plenty of room to move around and cook. I was sure Phil did most of the cooking; Renee had never been very good at it. She showed us the small bathroom downstairs and upstairs she showed us her and Phil's room. It was painted a soft sea-green with white furniture. A big King-size bed dominated the room. The windows opened to a pretty view of the nearby park. The spare bedroom was a deep blue with a Queen-size bed and beautiful maple furniture. When she finished showing us around, I stood in the doorway of the spare room with Jake. I was waiting for her to tell me where Jake would be sleeping, so we could settle in.

"Oh this room is for both of you," she said. Her smile was calm with just a hint of mischief.

I stuttered for a second before I pulled myself together. "Oh, well, um, okay." Apparently Renee knew me a little too well.

Renee had slipped away quietly as I put my toiletries in the bathroom. As I went back in the bedroom, Jake was sitting on the bed waiting for me and looking mighty comfortable. He reached out, gently catching hold of my hips, pulling me between his legs.

"Your mom is really going to let us stay together? In a bedroom? Alone?" His grin was hopeful and adorable.

I laughed. "It looks like it. Though I feel funny doing anything since she knows it," I added, biting my lip.

Jake's hands cupped my face, fingers gently spearing through the hair at my temple, as his lips grazed mine. He kissed me, and then pulled back as I tried to deepen it. After he did that a few times, I let out a frustrated groan and straddled his lap, pushing myself impossibly close. He let me glide my tongue over his lips as I began rocking my hips against him. When his tongue moved against mine, mine became more urgent and my grip tightened. He began laughing softly.

I pulled back, giving him an annoyed look. His eyes were twinkling teasingly. "Bells, you just proved my point. You aren't going to care one way or another if your mother is a couple doors down when we're in bed together. You're on my lap now, getting me incredibly hard I might add, kissing me like there's no tomorrow while your mother isn't far away and with the door wide open."

As that realization sank in, I jumped up, my cheeks flushing. He was still laughing softly. "Don't worry, honey. I'll keep your mouth occupied and we'll keep the air-conditioner on to muffle your sounds."

He was enjoying this far too much, so I rewarded him with a punch to the shoulder and stomped into the bathroom as his laughter trailed after me. I knew he was right, though; I seemed to forget just where I was when he touched and kissed me. With a groan, I freshened up and called my dad to make sure he was fine. He was and Jake promised to be in touch with the pack often. We went downstairs after our calls were made.

"Honey, there are some sandwiches in the fridge," my mom said. "Don't eat too much, though. I thought maybe the four of us could go out for dinner tonight."

I handed a couple sandwiches and a soda to Jake. "That sounds good," I said. "Are you going back to work the rest of the day?"

"No, I took off earlier so I could come and pick you two up. I thought maybe we could just use the pool this afternoon and then you two can go to the beach tomorrow."

We agreed and we ate our sandwiches quickly, ready to head out into the sunshine. Back upstairs I realized I had no bathing suits in Forks and I hadn't picked anything up in Port Angeles. "Dammit," I muttered.

My mom poked her head in the open door as I stood there pondering. "I figured you wouldn't have a suit. There's one in the top drawer for you," she said as she disappeared back out into the hall.

"Thanks," I called out as I opened the drawer. I felt my brow furrowing and I began chewing on my lip when I saw the suit.

I picked it up gingerly. It was a good color at least. The blue bikini had silver lining the edges on the top and bottom and had a faint outline of some kind of pattern in silver tracing over it. The bottom was too low-cut and the top didn't have what looked like enough material to cover my breasts. Why on earth did Renee think I would want to wear this? It wasn't a big deal if Jake saw it, but I had to wear it outside around Phil, my mother, and the ton of people that would be on the beach.

With a sigh, I quickly pulled it on after Jake went downstairs. I felt so exposed; it felt like my backside was barely covered and way too much of my breasts were on display. It seemed Renee picked a top that emphasized my not-so-large chest, though. With one last look at myself in the mirror, I shook my head and yanked a shirt on. The Florida sun felt amazing as Jake and I threw towels on some chairs and sat down.

I smiled as Jake stretched out on the lounge, his feet still touching the deck. A small smile curled his full lips and I knew this had been a good idea. He seemed so relaxed and at ease and I was beginning to feel the same way. "Bells? Aren't you going to take your clothes off?" he mumbled.

I had been hoping to avoid that. Reluctantly I pulled my clothes off. Jake sat up rather suddenly, his eyes opening wide. "Damn Bella, that's… one hell of a bathing suit."

I hunched over a little. "No, no," Jake murmured. "Don't do that. You look sexy as hell in that! I don't really want any guy seeing you in that bikini, though." He looked vaguely worried.

I rolled my eyes and handed him the lotion. He took his time rubbing his hands over me. When he finally finished the torture we got in the pool. I felt like a little kid again, splashing and playing with Jake in the water. Though he kept finding excuses to stroke his fingers over my backside or glide them over my cleavage. When we managed to drag ourselves out he immediately began to doze on the lounge chair so I went and sat with Renee for a little while.

She questioned me about what had happened and I explained as best I could without going into too much detail and glossing over the hard parts. Charlie was better equipped to handle the difficult situations. My mother was a little more delicate.

"Well, I'm glad you two worked things out. It's obvious how much he loves you," she said, taking a sip of iced tea.

I smiled. "Yeah, me too. I really love him as well," I said quietly. It was that moment that I realized Edward had been pushed further back into my mind. There would always be pricks of sadness, and a part of me that would love him.

Shaking off the melancholy thought, I focused on Renee. "He touches you so easily, so assuredly. He's young, but he certainly seems to know you, and I can see him being a very attentive lover."

My cheeks flamed at the change of subject. I would _not_ talk about this with my mother!

She laughed. "Oh Bella, it's obvious. But I guess I'll refrain from embarrassing you for now, though I'm sure you will have a very… fulfilling night together."

I managed to escape the dreaded conversation and woke Jake up. We headed in and took a shower and got ready for dinner. I grinned at the sight of Jake as we headed out the door. He was actually dressed and looked beautiful in a pair of tan pants and a green striped button-down shirt. He laced his fingers with mine as we got in Phil's SUV and I could see him eyeing me up in the sundress my mother had given me. It wasn't me to wear a dress, but I didn't want her to feel bad. I wasn't regretting it anymore, though, when I saw Jake watching me.

At dinner, Jake curbed his appetite a bit so as not to break anyone's bank account. He ended up talking with Phil quite a bit about cars, so I filled Renee in on what had been going on in Forks, minus the danger. Underneath the table, Jake either held my hand or would occasionally rub his hand up my thigh. When dinner was over, I felt like taking a walk.

So Renee and Phil went in the house and Jake and I walked around the area. The sun was setting and the sky was a dusky rose color with streaks of gold and deep purple. The warm breeze blew the scent of hibiscus, and I could smell bar-b-q as someone grilled nearby. What I was most conscious of was Jake's hand wrapped around mine.

"This is pretty damn perfect, isn't it?" he murmured. He looked as content as I felt.

"Yes. I wish in some ways we could just stay here together longer."

He smiled and wrapped an arm around me. As we walked, I realized there was a carnival set up at the church. "Come on, Bells! Let's check it out," Jake said, a little kid grin on his face.

I laughed and let him lead me toward it. We paid the requisite few bucks and walked around, watching little kids screaming on the rides. He pulled me over to a dart toss where he threw with complete accuracy, hitting even the tiniest balloon. He won a stuffed dragon and passed it over to me. I couldn't help the giggle at the complete normalcy of it all.

I bought us a couple hot dogs, and he bought some cotton candy. "Jake, we're going to end up sick," I said laughing, but taking a bite of the cotton candy anyway.

"I have an iron stomach, Bells, I'll be just fine," he teased. "You on the other hand better quit while you're ahead."

We walked back to Renee and Phil's and we watched a little television with them. When they decided to turn in, I felt that little flip in my stomach. I was ready to turn in, too, and Jake was going to be with me. He had the same idea as he practically dragged me to the bedroom after they went to bed. I quickly fished out my new bra and panty set and slipped into the bathroom. After making sure my usual t-shirt and shorts covered everything, I stood in the doorway watching Jake. He was completely stretched out in the bed, arms behind his head, clad only in his usual cut-off sweats.

I moved to the bottom of the bed and he held his hand out to me. One hard swallow and I pulled the t-shirt and shorts off. Jake did a double-take when he saw me, his mouth popping open in surprise. I didn't bother to look down at myself, but Jake sat up, his eyes roving over every inch of me.

"Bella, you are so beautiful," he said quietly. "So fucking sexy," he added and though I felt the urge to scold him for his language I couldn't help the thrill that shot through me.

His mouth explored my cleavage, his hands roaming over my stomach and thighs. My breath came out in little bursts of excitement. Jake reached out and yanked the closet door open and I looked at him in confusion. He smiled slightly, turning me around so my back was to his chest and pulled me down between his thighs. My whole body blushed when I realized there was a mirror there.

"Jake, I don't…" I started to say, but his lips cruised over that soft spot below my ear and I swallowed what I was about to say with a groan.

"Just look," he whispered. "Everything about you is beautiful."

Even though I felt awkward, I peeked as Jake's fingers stroked over my stomach, dipped below my bra to brush my nipples, and then slid down into my panties. I whimpered as he began stroking me; watching him in the mirror as he did so was turning me on even more. The pressure built, but I laid my hand over his, turning back around to face him. The throbbing between my thighs was strong as Jake lay back down and pulled me on top of him. We wiggled out of the rest of our clothes quickly.

Immediately I pushed down onto him and started moving along with his hips. I couldn't help glancing over at the mirror as Jake reached up and gently squeezed my breasts. I watched the line of Jake's body moving under mine, his hips thrusting up, my back arching as I reached the peak. I rocked forward, climaxing as Jake pressed his mouth to mine to muffle our cries.

He rolled us over so we faced each other. He kissed me softly. "As hot as you look in that bra and panty set and as much as I would love to see it on you again, you should know you never have to try and impress me. I'll love you in anything. You're perfect," he murmured.

I smiled and kissed him back. It was worth buying and I would wear it again, but I was glad I didn't have to all the time. We snuggled and kissed until we both fell fast asleep.

* * *

**JPOV:**

I woke to the bright Florida sunshine streaming in through the window. I stretched in this bed that was so much bigger and comfortable than mine _or_ Bella's bed. Again I woke to an empty bed. As I swung my legs out and sat up, I saw Bella through the window that overlooked the backyard. She was sitting in the grass leaning against the cherry tree reading a book. I smiled at the sight.

I went downstairs, made a quick phone call to Leah to find out about any updates, and then went right out the back door toward Bella. I dropped down next to her rolling onto my back with my head on her lap. She moved the book away and looked down at me. That incredibly adorable giggle she had was let loose.

"Read me a story," I mumbled, closing my eyes.

"It's not your type of story, Jake," she said.

"It doesn't matter," I said with a yawn, seeing flashes of red as the sunlight moved over my eyelids. "I just like to hear your voice."

She set the bowl of cherries she had picked from the tree on my stomach and we both ate the sweet fruit as she read to me from her battered copy of "Wuthering Heights." She was right; it wasn't my thing, but because it interested Bella I listened to her read about Heathcliff and Catherine. After awhile, my stomach began to growl. As good as the cherries were I needed something with a little more sustenance. Bella chuckled and I pulled her up and we went in to get something to eat.

A number of eggs, toast, and strips of bacon later and I was feeling better. Bella went up to change into her bathing suit to go to the beach. I grabbed an extra set of shorts and threw a few other things into a bag. As I stared outside I couldn't help feeling extremely glad her mother and Phil had to work today. I planned on some alone time with her after the beach.

When she came down, I tried not to laugh. She was wearing one of my t-shirts that hung down to her knees. She looked so cute in it, too. I couldn't wait to see her in that bathing suit again, though I wasn't happy about anyone else seeing her as well. The beach was perfect; the sand was incredibly soft and the water looked very clear. With the heat of the day and my body temperature I tried not to touch Bella too much.

We swam, lay on the beach, and talked. It was the most relaxing day I had in a long time. She went to the concession stand to get us some food, and I lay back and closed my eyes. I cracked an eye open when too much time had passed. She was standing near the line holding our food talking to some guy. I sat up, taking better notice. What the hell was he doing? He was looking at her in a way I did _not_ like.

I walked over to her, and I saw his eyes widen in surprise when he saw me snake my arm around Bella's waist. I met his eyes, giving him the look that all guys understood. _She's mine, back the fuck off_. Bella jumped a little at my touch, but hooked her hand over my arm.

"Jake," she said, discreetly snuggling back into me. "Jason, this is my boyfriend Jacob. Jake this is Jason, my mom's next door neighbor."

I gave him a nod instead of shaking his hand; I didn't trust myself not to break his hand because of the way he had been ogling Bella. He eyed me warily and said his goodbye, so I led Bella back to our blanket. I couldn't help but feel bothered by that; I didn't know why it was that different from Mike Newton looking at her like that.

"Jake, you okay?" she asked as she bit into her burger.

I nodded, letting it go for the time being. It's not like anything would happen considering he lived in Florida. We relaxed for awhile longer, swam a little bit more and then headed back to the house. We each took a shower, and while I was doing so I couldn't help but think about making use of the rest of our afternoon before her mom and stepfather got home. Smiling to myself at last nights activities I dried off quickly and yanked a pair of shorts on.

* * *

When I came out of the bathroom she was propped up on the pillows, facing away from me and eating ice cream out of a small container. I moved up behind her and sat on the bed, shifting so her back was flush against me. I propped my chin on her shoulder.

"Mmm, is that cake batter ice cream?" I teased. "My favorite kind! Are you holding out on me, Bells?"

She snickered and turned a little, feeding me a spoonful. And then another.

"You know what would make this ice cream taste even better?" I said feigning innocence.

She turned to face me fully, eyeing me suspiciously. She dipped a spoonful of ice cream in between those sexy pink lips of hers. "If I tasted _you_ at the same time."

I kissed her, taking advantage of her surprised gasp and slipping my tongue between her lips. I could taste the ice cream and Bella's sweet, unique taste as she kissed me back. When I finally managed to pull myself away, her eyes had a distinct gleam to them. She dipped her finger into the ice cream container and rubbed a little glob of it over my lips, leaning in to lick them thoroughly. I felt a small throb shudder through my dick and was immediately primed and ready for her. I took my time, though, licking her fingers clean, keeping my eyes on her.

Seeing her eyes darken with lust was such a high.

She placed her hands on my chest, pushing me back and urging me to lie down. I certainly was eager enough to appease her so I stretched out, propping my arms behind my head so I could watch her. She made an ice cream trail on my chest, down my stomach, making me grow to impossible hardness. As it began to melt, which it pretty much nearly did upon immediate contact of my heated skin, she kissed her way down my chest and stomach.

A groan worked its way out at the touch of her lips. "Mmm…" she murmured, her breath fanning over the now sticky skin of my stomach.

Suddenly I felt her pulling at my shorts, so I lifted my hips to help her get them off. She gave me a shock when she stayed crouched between my thighs, her eyes on my dick. If I could have gotten even harder, I would have.

Her eyes met mine, a blush on her cheeks. "I want to…" she hesitated looking a little shy. "I want to taste you," she whispered.

Shocked, and beyond excited, I didn't even get a chance to say anything. I felt the touch of cool ice cream on me, and the feel of her mouth closing over the tip of me nearly sent me over the edge. I gritted my teeth for a second, overwhelmed at the feel of her lips pulling gently at me. In the fog of my lust-crazed brain, I could see she was feeling a bit unsure.

My fingers shook as I stroked them through her hair trying to remember not to thrust too much. I managed to focus on her; her head was moving down as she took more of me into her mouth and I gasped, my hips moving up a little. The sight and the feel were fucking fantastic. Her tongue traced along my shaft and I was starting to moan even more frequently. As she continued to explore, I could feel the sweat beading on my forehead. I wasn't going to be able to tolerate much more, and I was desperate to be inside of her. As her lips and tongue continued to work over me, my moans were becoming a little louder in volume.

"Oh shit," I gasped. "Bella, that feels so good, but I want to come inside you."

When she looked up, I pulled her up to me, capturing her lips in a hot, open-mouthed kiss, my fingers tangled in her hair. I needed to be a little more in control otherwise it would be over too fast. The ice cream was right there, so I grabbed it and took a spoonful. With the silky sweet mound of it in my mouth, I ripped her tank top off and pulled her nipple into my mouth; not very gently either.

She gave a cry, leaning over me, rocking against my stomach. I could feel the dampness through her shorts. I tugged and nipped and licked her nipple like there was no tomorrow.

"J-Jake," she managed to gasp. "Now." Gasp. "I want you." Moan.

I rolled, moving over top of her and tugging her panties off. I grabbed her right leg, pushing it up, feeling her ankle hook over my shoulder and the other open wider as I thrust myself into her forcefully. Our cries mingled as our hips collided over and over, faster and faster. Her neck arched and I pushed her leg even higher as I neared the peak.

She was close, too; her nails were digging into my sides, and her hips were pushing up to meet me thrust for thrust. I could hear our skin slapping as we both frantically tried to push each other over.

"Bella, oh damn… Bella…" I managed to pant; the cry ripped from my throat as I exploded inside of her. I nearly saw stars. She cried out loudly, back arching, as I trigged her climax with my intense release.

We were both panting, trying to catch our breath as our bodies slowed. I cupped her face, kissing her, feeling her panting breath brush over my face. I barely had the energy to move, but I managed to flop to the side and pull her against me.

"I'm never going to be able to look at cake batter ice cream the same way again," I managed to mumble and was rewarded with an explosion of giggles.

* * *

I could barely move, and I was incredibly sticky in certain places, but I didn't care as Bella and I lay on the bed, hands stroking each other idly.

Bella moved up against my chest, her chin on my shoulder as I lay sprawled on my back. Her lips brushed my ear. "I love you, Jake," she murmured in that sweet voice that nearly did me in.

I nuzzled her. I would never tire of hearing that. "I love you, Bella."

"Let's go for a swim," she decided. "I feel sticky."

I laughed. I dragged myself off the bed and we changed into our suits again and went downstairs. I was dying of thirst now, so she went outside while I dug through the refrigerator for a coke. Finding one I downed it in two gulps. Then I inhaled Bella's leftovers from dinner last night, knowing she brought them home for me.

Outside she was standing there, cheeks a little flushed, as her mother's neighbor was out and talking to her again. Bella laughed at something he said and I saw his eyes dart to her chest. I felt a slight tremor in my hands.

"Jason," I said, my voice hard, and he smiled weakly in response.

"Jacob. Well, I'll let you two go," he said backing away from the fence.

"Nice talking to you again, Jason," Bella said sweetly and then I was gently tugging her away.

I pulled her against me as soon as we reached the porch; cupping her cheek in my hand, I kissed her a bit eagerly in full view of _Jason_. Bella stiffened a little, but kissed me back. When I pulled away, she rolled her eyes at me.

"Are you finished being a jealous Neanderthal?" she muttered, stomping away from me toward the pool.

I had to laugh; I couldn't help loving it when Bella got a little fired up. And the view of her ass as she stomped away was pure perfection. I followed her and soon had her laughing as we swam. I managed to dunk her once and was rewarded with a laugh and a punch. When we got out, Renee and Phil arrived home from work. Bella called Charlie to check in and make sure everything was okay, and then we went outside to grill some steaks for dinner.

We were lounging on the patio watching the sky darken into twilight. Bella went inside and Renee turned to me. "I can see just how happy you make her, Jake," she said looking up at the sky.

I looked over at her, and she turned to look at me again. "I don't know all that happened, but you hurt her again and I'll come to Forks to find you, believe me."

It was oddly creepy hearing this coming from someone who was so light-hearted and at times child-like than it was from Charlie with his yelling and pulsating vein. Bella had been more of the mother figure with Renee, so it took me by surprise.

"I don't ever want to hurt Bella again," I said, though even I knew that was never a guarantee with all that had happened. I knew I would do anything for her, though, and that included always trying to make things right.

Renee seemed to understand what I was saying without actually saying it because she relaxed back in her seat as Phil came back outside to sit with her. "With that said, I really like you a lot Jacob and I'm incredibly grateful that you helped Bella move on. I couldn't ever begin to thank you for that." She gave me a sweet smile, so I leaned over and pecked her on the cheek, leaving her grinning as I went inside to find out where my girl got to.

She was rooting through the freezer and handed me a small container of ice cream, hers already open on the counter, as Renee and Phil came in behind me. She had that sneaky smile on her face as we sat down to watch a movie with them. I tried not to laugh as she gave me an innocent smile and ate her ice cream. The movie had only just started and I already couldn't wait to go to bed.

* * *

**BPOV:**

I lay in bed, my back pressed to Jake's front, as he curled an arm over me holding me securely. I was thankful the air conditioner was going full blast. Between Jake's body heat and having another sweaty round of love-making, I was feeling a bit toasty so the cool air felt good. I couldn't help being a little surprised at how addicted I was becoming to making love with Jake. It felt so incredibly good and I couldn't seem to get enough of it, so it was a depressing thought that we only had one more day and night together here before going home.

I finally drifted off to sleep.

_I was lying in a hospital bed. Jake was stretched out next to me, his arm curled protectively around the top of my head and his fingers were stroking my cheek. His other hand rested on the back of the tiny newborn sleeping on my chest. _

_ Then we were lying on a bed at home, both of us on our sides, facing each other as our daughter slept between us. Her little mouth was moving, and her little fists gripped our fingers._

_As a toddler with long, black pigtails and light chocolate eyes she came careening across the yard crying, "Daddy! Daddy!" She flung herself into Jake's arms as he scooped her up and tossed her in the air. Giggles drifted down like snowflakes_

_Jake was fast asleep on the armchair in the living room, the smell of a roast cooking wafting into the room. Our daughter was stretched out on his stomach and chest, her head tucked into the crook of his neck. Her hand was searching for me, tugging at my hand until I was close enough for her to touch._

_The last image drifted to me as I began to awaken. My daughter was in my arms, her bright, sunny smile so like her father's as Jake came up and wrapped his arms around both of us. _

I woke with a start. The dream had been so vivid I felt as if that little girl would be between me and Jake. Jake stirred, his breath drifting over my face. "You okay, Bells?" he mumbled.

The sky was just beginning to lighten as I gazed out the window. I met Jake's eyes and felt an unfamiliar ping in my heart. It wasn't as if I wanted a child right now, but it just seemed so possible for us that I told Jake. "I just dreamt that we had a daughter."

Jake's eyebrows rose slightly, eyes barely open. "Hmm. Well, I'd love to see you pregnant with my child." As my eyes widened in shock, he chuckled lazily. "Someday that is."

I rolled my eyes. He kissed my nose and pulled me in closer. "Someday," he murmured. His warm hand rested on my bare stomach.

When we woke later, we spent the day with Renee and Phil. We walked around the farmer's market picking out produce, and then we all went to the beach together. Jake and I spent some time walking around the boardwalk poking into a souvenir shop or two. We ordered in dinner later on and afterward Jake and I lay in the grass looking at the stars just talking.

Our time together in Jacksonville had been perfect; it was hard to make myself leave. Back to the danger and uncertainty, but back to our family, though leaving Renee was hard. I was excited to see Charlie and Qahla, and to see the green of Forks. This trip to Jacksonville would be something I cherished; it had given me and Jake a couple days to explore each other, to see even more fully how much we loved each other.

We left Florida happy and content.


	23. Quileute Days

**A/N: Thank you to Mickayla, Ashlie, and Cara for their reviews!**

**I wanted to let you all know that I had been nominated at The Two Sides of Twilight: 2009 Twilight Awards. I thank whoever had nominated me originally! I got enough nominations to be a contender in the categories Best Emotional Breakdown and Best Jacob and Bella. So if you're interested in voting for me, I believe it's open to vote until mid-March. The link is: ****http://forum[dot]fanfiction[dot]net/forum/CuriosityKilled_The_Cat/69076/**

**I'd recommend reading the "How To Vote/Questions" post first, of course! And a quick thanks to AllieKat, Agresha, ILW, and Marce for being the ones I know of to help me get more nominations in those categories! **

* * *

When Jake and I got back to Forks Charlie was there to pick us up. Qahla was sleeping in the car until we started loading our bags in. She woke up with a vengeance, barking and barking until Charlie brought her out. She wiggled and squirmed like mad until I was within licking distance. I held her up to Jake and he got the same treatment, and then she began licking Charlie for good measure causing us to laugh at her.

Charlie gave me a quick hug before we got in the car. "I missed you, kid," he said, looking a little embarrassed.

"I missed you, too, Dad," I replied giving him an extra squeeze. While a big part of me hadn't wanted to leave Jacksonville, I was glad to be home to see for myself that Charlie and Qahla were fine. It had been hard leaving Renee, though. She had cried when it was time for us to depart causing me to get a little teary.

Qahla bounced from me to Jake as Charlie drove us back to Forks. I started giggling when Jake flipped her on her back between us and tickled her. Her little ears were flopped back, eyes wide, legs kicking as she tried to bite his hand. I glanced up and saw Charlie looking at us, a small smile on his face. It was a step up from the frowns that Jake had been receiving before we had left and the blank look as we left.

When we got back to my house Jake followed me in as Charlie went in the living room to presumably watch some kind of sports channel. "Will you be able to come over tonight?" I kind of figured that wasn't going to happen, so I wasn't surprised when he shook his head no.

"I really wish I could," he murmured, pulling me tightly against him. "I'm really going to miss the freedom of just laying in bed with you without worrying about patrolling or someone catching us."

I nodded in agreement, breathing his scent in deep as I tightened my arms around his neck. His lips brushed my neck, resting on the pulse that pounded faster when his mouth touched me. Slowly he kissed his way across my neck, over my chin, until his heated lips touched mine.

It was deep. And languid. Our mouths opened in unison, tongues slipping against each other. My arms gripped him tighter, and I felt his hands gripping my hips as the kiss continued.

Charlie cleared his throat pointedly and I pulled away, a little shaky. I couldn't meet Charlie's eyes as he pulled a beer out of the fridge and disappeared back into the living room. Jake smiled slightly. "It's an improvement. At least he didn't snarl at me."

I laughed and kissed him one more time before he left. Once he did, I kind of drifted around the kitchen straightening up. I decided to sit with Charlie and Qahla for a little while so I lay on the couch with Qahla laying on me.

"So did you have fun in Jacksonville? How's Renee?"

I half-turned to look at him. "Yeah, we did. We went swimming, went to a carnival, and went out with mom and Phil one night. It was relaxing. And she's doing well. She seems really happy."

Charlie smiled a little. The sadness I sometimes saw wasn't there which surprised me. I mean, I had always figured Charlie had stopped pining for Renee, but I thought he always sounded a little sad when talking about her. I was curious about what changed.

"I'm glad," he said. "Qahla was well-behaved. Well, for the most part. I left a shoe out and she kind of killed it."

I couldn't help the giggle. "Oh no. She's a shoe-chewer?"

He grinned. "A bit. I scolded her, so the rest of the day whenever I sat down, she was all over me trying to make up for it."

I laughed, rubbing my hand over her head. She yawned, not even bothering to open her eyes. After some more television, I started to feel tired so I carried Qahla upstairs and she curled up against me as I snuggled under my comforter. I sighed softly, missing the warmth of Jake's arms, as I drifted off to sleep.

* * *

The week dragged for me. I saw Jake a little during the day, but not as much as I was used to. The second night home from Jacksonville he had slipped into my room. I woke up when I felt him slide into bed next to me, wrapping his arms around me.

"Jake?" I had mumbled sleepily.

"Nah. It's the other werewolf that sneaks into your room in the middle of the night."

I giggled and cuddled closer to him. I felt what sounded like a purr rumble in my throat as Jake's fingers stroked through my hair. He laughed. "Bells, are you purring?"

I smirked and gave him a sleepy kiss. He told me what was going on with the pack until I began to doze off again. I was glad we had a couple nights together at home, but I was missing the freedom of being together whenever we wanted.

Mike ended up calling me later in the week and asked if Jake and I wanted to head into Port Angeles with him, Eric, Angela, Ben, and Jessica for the Concert on the Pier series. I checked with Jake, and he sounded bummed when he told me he couldn't go. He was feeling guilty for leaving the pack to deal with the problems, so he had to patrol and he had work. He told me to go and have fun, though, so I called Mike back and told him I would go; I was in desperate need of something to do. So the following afternoon Angela and Ben picked me up and we met up with Eric, Mike, and Jessica and drove to Port Angeles.

We walked around for a little while, and then stopped at a café to get something to eat before we went to the concert at the city pier. We had gotten lucky with the weather; it wasn't warm, but it was comfortable and it wasn't raining. We set out blankets in the grass and waited for the music to start. As we waited I heard the soft clunking sound of the boats anchored in the water nearby, and I could see the Olympic Mountains in the distance. It was a beautiful sight.

As the sun began to set and streak the sky, the music started and we all just relaxed and enjoyed it.

Mike leaned over at one point. "I'm really glad you could come. We haven't really hung out since I tried to kiss you, and I just wanted you to be comfortable doing so. I'm glad we can be friends."

I smiled. "Me too, Mike. It's all in the past, though, and we are definitely still friends."

As we listened to the band, I couldn't help watching Mike and Jessica. It was pretty clear that Mike was still interested in her, but Jessica was either unwilling to give him a chance again or had moved on. I suspected she was holding a grudge, though. Mike hadn't exactly been secretive about his crush on me.

When the music began to wind down and night had settled in, we drove back to Forks. As soon as I walked in the house, the phone rang.

I picked it up. "Hello?"

"Hey Bells! Do you work tomorrow?" His voice warmed me.

"No, I don't. Why, what's up?" I asked.

"I only work until around one o'clock, so I was hoping you were off and you could come down here. I've been working like crazy, and I realized I forgot to mention to you that this weekend is what's called Quileute Days here at La Push. Arts and crafts, a salmon bake, softball tournaments, parade, fireworks, dancing, you name it."

"Oh yeah, I think I heard Charlie mention it, but I didn't know what it was. Apparently he's gone before," I said, twirling the cord around my finger.

"Yeah, he has. And lets say he has a more vested interest in going this year," he said dryly.

I frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Oh. I thought you knew," he said, sounding surprised. "Well, its more friends than anything, but Charlie and Sue apparently had been spending more time together."

"They have?" I asked in surprise.

"I just heard about it today; they aren't dating, it's too soon for Sue. From what everyone is saying they are just spending time together. I think she misses having a man around."

I was a bit surprised. I knew he had been helping her out a lot lately, and she had come up when he had been hurt, but were they eventually going to move further? The idea of him dating seemed so strange, but I remembered how he didn't look quite so sad when I talked about Renee. It also worried me because of her daughter Leah; the one person who made me kind of nervous. Jake and I talked about it a little more and then I decided to turn in early.

The next day I headed to La Push and Jake took me to his garage to show me what he had been working on. There was a line-up of wooden carvings on his work table and I stared at them in surprise. Each piece looked so delicate and ranged in detail, color, and size. There was a miniature canoe with little designs on the side. There was a carved salmon with its mouth open, a carving of a man with long flowing hair, a teepee, and various other items.

"Jake, these are beautiful," I exclaimed.

He looked a little shy. "Thanks Bells. It's more of the tourist type ones, but those are the ones that sell the most."

"You have other kinds?" I asked, picking up the salmon and examining it.

"Yeah, I do. Both my dad and I carved the stuff we have in the house. Like the wolf mask and the drum."

I remembered the wolf mask from my dream about Leah. It was rather creepy. Jake led me into the house and Billy came out of his bedroom toward us. Jake went into the living room, but Billy caught hold of my hand.

"Bella," he said quietly. "I hadn't really gotten a chance to say anything to you since you and Jacob got back together. I just wanted you to know I'm sorry, too. I think of you as another daughter."

His sincerity made me smile. I spontaneously leaned down and gave Billy a quick hug and then went in the living room to snuggle with Jake. As we lay on the couch with the television on, he was playing with my hair, and I could tell he wanted to say something.

"Jake, what is it?" I asked, rolling onto my back and looking up at him.

He smiled a little. "I was just wondering, Bells. Do you, um, know what you're doing after the summer is over?"

"What do you mean?" I asked a little confused.

"Have you, well, applied to any schools? Do you know where you're going to go?" He looked unsure and nervous.

I reached up, stroking my fingers over his jaw and chin. "I think I'm taking a year off; I want to go to school – probably for English Lit – but I want to earn a little more money before I start. I know Charlie and Renee would help me, but I don't want to put too much strain on them."

He looked thoughtful. He caught my hand in his and kissed my fingers. "There aren't many job opportunities in Forks, unless you stay at Newton's Outfitters."

As much as I appreciated that job and now liked working with Mike, I knew I didn't want to stay there. "Well, I hadn't really thought too much about it yet, but maybe I could work in Port Angeles; see if I could find a bookstore or something that's hiring."

He looked pensive again. "Does that mean you would move to Port Angeles?"

I had been a little slow on the uptake; I realized Jake was bothered about us being separated. I sat up and wrapped my arms around his neck, kissing my way across his cheek to his lips. "I probably would, but Jake, I would want you to come and stay with me as often as you can. And I would be back here often enough, too. It's not _that_ far," I murmured against his lips.

He kissed me back, his arms tightening around me. "As soon as this shit storm of danger is over – and I kill every last thing that has threatened you – I plan on stopping phasing. And I will follow you anywhere."

I tangled my fingers in his hair, pulling him tight against me, kissing him feverishly as our tongues mated. When the kiss slowed, I laid my head on his shoulder. "I wouldn't want to hold you back, though, Bells. You should do what you want."

I kissed his neck. "I will be doing what I want. That's what I want; I promise. And having you with me will just make it that much better."

We curled around each other, relaxed, and watched some more television.

* * *

The weekend of Quileute Days came quickly. I hadn't spoken to Jake the last day and a half; he had told me right before that he was going to be extra busy, so I told him I'd see him when Charlie and I came down to La Push for the start of it. It was raining lightly that morning, but they said it would stop and be cloudy in the afternoon, so the fireworks should be able to go off without a hitch. When we arrived, I was a bit overwhelmed at everything. There were booths and stands set up everywhere selling everything from food, jewelry, and crafts; there was plenty to choose from. I could see cases of beads and woven fabric made into necklaces, I could see wooden carvings ranging from something as little as a figurine to a large wooden sculpture the size of a dog. There were plenty of locals and tourists milling about.

The smell of burgers and pizza drifted on the damp breeze. I could see the fishing for salmon underway for the salmon bake later and the bats and balls ready for a softball game for when the rain cleared up. I saw Sue waving at us from a stand nearby and watched Charlie suspiciously as he waved back and headed in that direction. I followed and gazed at the array of feathered earrings she was selling. It seemed the whole reservation was talented; they were beautiful.

"Hi Charlie. Hi Bella," Sue said cheerfully. "Bella, honey, Jake is manning Billy's booth a few down this row," she continued, pointing the way.

"Thanks Sue," I replied. I handed the leash and Qahla to Charlie and headed toward Jake.

He saw me coming and pulled me into the booth with him and kissed me in front of everyone strolling by. "Jake," I said, pulling away from his warm lips. "Not now," I teased.

He pulled me onto his lap, though, as I looked over his carvings and Billy's. Everything looked flawless. "I had no idea you were so good at making these so detailed," I said, tracing a finger over a small, wooden mask. "You're really good with your hands."

"In more ways than one," he teased, his fingers sneaking under the back of my shirt.

I rolled my eyes, but laughed. "Sure sure," I teased back.

When Billy came back, Jake took me around the booths. There were so many things to look at. I ended up buying a pair of Sue's earrings and a hair clip for Renee since her birthday was coming up pretty soon. Charlie was still perched comfortably behind the booth with Sue, though he was getting ready to do some fishing. We watched a little bit of the children's softball game. After I ate a hot dog and some fries, and Jake ate triple that amount, he had to get back to the booth to help Billy out some more.

I wandered toward the fisherman, watching Charlie in his element for a little while. There was a growing amount of salmon nearby; there would be plenty of it later on for the salmon bake. Since the rain had mostly cleared up, and the clouds blanketing the sky were a little less thick, I walked down the beach a bit just admiring the view. I watched a few gulls swoop down into the water and looked out over the misty islands further out until a voice pulled me from my trance.

"Hey Bella! What are you doing out here by yourself?" Seth's cheerful voice came from behind me.

"Oh, hey Seth," I said smiling at him. "I just decided on a little walk. What are you up to?"

"I was just going to talk to the fishermen, get a count of the salmon, and then I saw you standing over here and remembered I wanted to give you something."

I raised my eyebrows. "Oh yeah?"

He suddenly looked very shy and dropped his gaze as he pulled something out of his pocket. He handed it to me and I looked down. It was an intricately woven bracelet in yellow, orange, and red fabric; it had a little silver plague in the middle with a picture of a sun and my name on it.

I looked up at him in surprise and he blushed. "I was making these to sell this weekend and I ended up making this one and the colors made me think of you. I know you like the sun and warmth and thought this could remind you of that since you live here in rainy Forks." He managed to meet my eyes briefly and gave me a sweet smile.

I was touched. I had always liked Seth; he reminded me so much of Jacob. Impulsively I reached up and hugged him. I felt his fingers very lightly touch my back, and then felt his palm press against me as he hugged me back.

"Thank you, Seth. I can't believe you made this; it's beautiful," I said. I was rewarded with his happy smile. I held my wrist out to him and he grinned even bigger as he fastened it on for me.

"You're welcome. Anyway, I have to get that count back to Quil Sr.," he said. "I'll see you later, Bella," he added with a wave.

I was smiling down at my wrist when I heard a completely different voice. "You know my brother has a crush on you, right?" I turned and saw Leah sitting up against a tree near the edge of the beach.

Hesitantly I walked toward her. "He does?" I murmured. I was now the one not meeting someone's eyes.

"Yeah. It's harmless, though." She sighed. "You might as well stay. I've been meaning to talk to you."

I sat down, not too close, and we both gazed out at the gray water. Even though it was the beginning of July, I could still feel the cool air from the rain we had gotten. I wrapped my arms around my knees and tried to breathe evenly. I was sitting next to Jake's imprint and I was feeling really awkward. I had no idea what to say.

"I care about Jake," Leah said abruptly. "I want him happy. Yet whenever he's with you, he _is_ happy." She sounded a little sad.

I looked over at her. Her jaw was tight and her eyes were gazing unseeingly at the fishermen in the distance. "Do you… wish he was that kind of happy… with you?" My heart was beating faster.

She seemed to ponder for a minute, dark eyes squinching a little bit. "Not really. I love Jake, but not like that. I'm glad it worked the way it did. I'm… well, I just wish I had that with someone. I always wanted it to be Sam, but things are a little better between us now, and I like it that way."

I felt a little sorry for her, and a little surprised she was telling me this. "I'm sorry that happened to you," I said quietly.

She shrugged. "Shit happens."

I didn't really have anything to add to that, so I asked her a difficult question. "Do you think it will change someday between you and Jake? You have a connection with him." I felt the pain of that happening slither through me and clenched my teeth.

"I don't believe it will. I didn't get spiritual guidance. Jake did and as you know he's absolutely certain of what he saw. If he says it won't, then it won't." She looked at me then. Her eyes were still a little hard. "Think about it like this. You're in love with Jacob, but - correct me if I'm wrong - there is still a part of you that will love the le… Edward," she amended with a grimace. "It doesn't lessen what you feel for Jake, but someone made a mark on you that will last. I don't pretend to understand your relationships, but it isn't that different."

I couldn't deny that and I could see the similarities in some ways. It wasn't a life-long imprint for me, but I had wanted to stay with Edward forever. And she was right; there was always a part of me that would love him. It made sense.

I wanted to ask her why she disliked me so much, but I felt weird asking it. She gave an annoyed sigh. "Look Bella, I have a lot of issues. I can admit I haven't been fair to you, but it has been difficult. You come here and hook up with this guy who turns out to be our enemy and you still love him."

I opened my mouth to speak, but she cut me off. "Don't get me wrong. I see how you look at Jake and as I said, you probably have that love for Edward, but it has lessened over time. Over the months we have all been privy to each other's thoughts. I saw you through Sam's mind when he found you and through Jake's mind as you struggled to deal with the loss. I know how much that hurts, though I couldn't help being jealous of you. You had Jake who already loved you and was doing everything he could to make you happy afterward. I know it wasn't easy for you, but it seemed easier to me."

I was quiet, absorbing what she said. "It wasn't easy. At all. It hurt so goddamn much," I snapped. "And sometimes I'll still feel a twinge. You should understand that."

She nodded. "I didn't mean that to be rude, but I get it. It was hard seeing Jake struggle and succeed in being with you when Sam didn't try. Granted he didn't know that was possible, but he could have _tried_."

I did feel sympathy for Leah. She was hit with that and then lost her father. I dug a trail in the sand with my fingers. Leah stood and brushed the sand off her jeans. "I am trying for Jake's sake and because I know you are a good person, but it still isn't real easy for me," she said quietly.

I stood, too. "I understand, Leah, and I appreciate it."

She looked a little annoyed all of a sudden. "Also because my mom seems to be getting closer to your dad. I know they aren't dating yet, but when the time comes when the grieving process is less for her, it might happen." The thought bothered me, too.

"I do think Chief Swan - your dad - is a good guy, even if I'm not entirely on board with this idea."

I agreed wholeheartedly. "Same with me. I like your mom, but it's not easy to swallow. Anyway, thanks Leah," I said hesitantly.

She nodded, clearing her throat and murmured that she should get back and I trailed after her, wanting to see Jake. He was standing at his booth talking to Quil and Embry as we walked toward them. He glanced up and seeing me trailing after Leah made his brow furrow in concern. Leah turned to head toward her mother and I leaned into Jake as he wrapped an arm around me.

Quil and Embry both headed off to fish, and Jake looked down at me. "Were you and Leah…?" he started to say and trailed off.

"I ran into her on the beach. And yes, we talked," I said knowing what he was going to ask.

"What did she say? Are you okay?" he asked with concern.

"I'm fine, Jake. She just told me a few things I wasn't aware of. It's not perfect between us, but it was a start," I said, avoiding his question. I wasn't sure if Jake knew everything Leah had told me. I figured he had, but I didn't want to be the one to spill anything.

He let it go, but I could see he still watched me closely now and again as if to make sure I was all right. We had some of the salmon that was cooked over the fire and then sat and watched the parade as evening came and watched the fireworks afterward. He twisted my hand around, his fingers entwined with mine, and looked at my bracelet.

"Is that one of Seth's?" he asked with surprise.

"Yes. He gave it to me earlier on the beach," I said, glancing at it with a smile.

Jake's brow furrowed. "What a little punk," he said, but couldn't help laughing. "He has a…"

I cut him off. "I know, he has a crush on me. Leah said that, too. I think it's sweet," I said.

He teased me about his competition and I giggled, leaning into his warmth, as the fireworks continued to light up the sky. When they were finished he talked me into going back to the beach for something special by the bonfire. I was getting tired, but I wasn't quite ready to leave Jake yet.

I saw Charlie sitting by the bonfire with Sue, Billy, and Quil Sr. so I went over and relieved him of Qahla. I perched on a log next to Emily with Qahla on my lap. She grinned and leaned over. "You will love this, I promise. Jake wanted it to be a surprise, so don't even ask me to tell you!" she teased.

I laughed and we shared some french fries as we waited for whatever was about to happen. I heard a slow, steady drumbeat and glanced up in surprise. I was even more surprised when I saw Billy was one of the people drumming. It was steady, increasing in volume. My eyebrows nearly rose off my forehead as a russet-skinned guy danced his way into the circle. He had a mask of a wolf on in a dark brown color.

I was mesmerized as I watched more guys slowly file into line, moving to the time of the beat. I could see there was one female dressed in a tank top. I realized it was Leah, and then the last person to enter was what gave me a bigger jolt. I recognized the wooden mask from Billy's house. The long snout, the opened mouth with rows of teeth, the blank eyes now showing Jake's eyes, and I recognized the symbols carved into as it gleamed in the light of the fire. I would recognize his body anywhere; it was Jacob. His bare, russet-skinned chest was lit in the flames and I stared in amazement.

Jacob said he wasn't much of a dancer, but this kind of dance seemed to come to him so naturally. I realized the rest of the guys were the wolf pack, each wearing a different wolf mask. My eyes never strayed from Jake as his body twisted and curved in a sinuous dance. They barely made a sound as they moved as one unit in a dance as old as time, knowing the ins and outs perfectly. The drumming increased and they moved faster, twisting and flashing. I could see Charlie through the flames, his eyes wide, as he watched them. At the end of the dance, they all gave a yell and everyone in the vicinity began cheering and clapping.

I managed to shut my mouth and Jake turned to me, wolf mask still in place, and I could see his grin in the open mouth of the wolf. He came over to me and lifted me in one of his trademark bone-crushing hugs. I gasped for breath until he set me down.

"Jake… that was amazing," I said. "I had no idea you could dance like that."

"I've done this every year since I learned how to dance," he said with a grin. "I wanted to surprise you."

I grinned back and leaned my head on his chest. He had certainly surprised me. I knew Jake in and out, his likes and dislikes, his moods, his friends and family, yet he still continued to surprise me.

* * *

**Quick note: There is actually a Concert on the Pier in Port Angeles and a Quileute Days in La Push in July!**


	24. Sinister

**You're the bedtime story  
the one that keeps the curtains closed  
and I hope you're waiting for me  
cause I can't make it on my own  
I can't make it on my own**

Unknown the unlit world of old  
you're the sounds I've never heard before  
**off the map**** where the wild things grow  
another world outside my door  
here I stand I'm all alone…  
-Morphine "The Night"**

* * *

I went back to La Push the following day since Jake was still selling his wooden carvings for Quileute Days. I only stayed for a couple hours since I needed to work a shift at Newton's. The weekend passed quickly, though I didn't hear from Jake until Sunday evening.

He came over that night looking a little weary. I promised Charlie we would leave the door open and dragged him upstairs to my room. As soon as he sat on the bed, I straddled him. "What's going on, Jake?"

He smiled a little, resting his forehead against mine. "A lot of stuff happened yesterday and today. I just feel a little overwhelmed."

I stroked my fingers through his hair, tickling them over his neck and watched as his eyes closed in pleasure. "What happened?" I asked, pressing my lips against his.

His teeth nipped at my lower lip, gently tugging on it. After he swept his tongue over my lip to soothe his love bite, he wrapped his arms tightly around me. "We kind of got a shock last night because Rachel came home. Apparently she's here to stay; for now anyway."

I pulled back in surprise. "Your sister came home? Why?"

He shrugged. "She decided she wants to be closer to us, and she wants to work for awhile instead of going to school. She was a little evasive about it. I talked to Sam finally, too. He apologized and we reached an agreement. I've accepted the fact that I was to be the Alpha, so we split the pack. I'm Alpha and Seth, Quil, Leah, and Embry will follow me and the rest will stay with Sam. We will all still mostly work together."

Shocked I just stared at him. "You're Alpha now? Seriously?"

"Yeah, one of them. Crazy, huh? It was supposed to be me; I've got the bloodline on both sides of my family. I'm still not too sure about this added responsibility, but I was glad we worked things out and figured this was better than just one of us being in charge."

"Wow. Alpha Jacob," I murmured, a little grin sneaking out.

He rolled his eyes, and I giggled as he rolled us over, pinning me to the bed. As our kisses escalated out of control, tongues vying for dominance, Jake's hand slid up my shirt. Of course Charlie came upstairs at that moment and Jake was perched on the floor before I could react. Werewolf speed was a fantastic thing.

We listened as Charlie went into his room and then went back downstairs before we visibly relaxed.

"I'm glad you worked things out with Sam," I said.

"Me too. It makes patrolling easier again now that he's not avoiding me."

We went back downstairs and messed up the kitchen some more, since we both were hungry again. I made us some chicken enchiladas and we ate and talked about anything and everything. Before he left to patrol, he made me promise to come to his house tomorrow after work; Billy was going fishing with Charlie and he said Rachel was going out.

We would finally get some alone time.

* * *

When I got to Billy and Jake's the following day after work, I paused at the door. I could hear a lot of muttered swearing and banging coming from inside. My eyebrows rose as I knocked uncertainly. The door swung open and Jake stood there looking mighty cranky with his hair all over the place. He had spaghetti sauce on his jeans, a pot of noodles in his hands, and a noodle stuck on his cheek.

I unsuccessfully tried to bite my lip to keep from laughing, but it spilled out of me in waves nonetheless. Jake's brows drew together in irritation, but then my laughter triggered his. I finally managed to gain control of myself.

"What on earth are you doing?" I asked with a grin.

"I was attempting to make us something to eat," he said ruefully.

I giggled as I peeked in the pot. The spaghetti was a bit clumped together, but it was actually cooked and seemed salvageable. I took the pot from him and helped him out with de-clumping it. The sauce was a little burnt, but not too bad. I cooked the meatballs for a few more minutes and we had it done in no time. Jake cleaned himself up and we sat down at the table.

"Thanks for dinner, Jake," I said smiling and reaching over to catch hold of his fingers. He gave mine a squeeze. "You really didn't do too badly for your first attempt by yourself," I added with a chuckle.

"Good. And you're welcome," he replied with a shit-eating grin. I shook my head and we ate dinner together.

After we cleaned up the leftovers – and after a minor spaghetti war – we pulled the noodles off of each other and stretched out on the couch. "So, where are Billy and Rachel?" I asked. I was a bit curious about Rachel; apparently we had tried to be friends when we were kids, but were both too shy.

"Sue made dinner and invited Billy over to eat. I was invited, too, but I wanted to stay here and do this for you. Plus, having the house to myself is great. And Rachel just went out with some old friends' from high school."

Jake put a movie in, though not long into it, I could feel his hand inching up my thigh. His intentions became even clearer when he pulled me onto his lap and I could feel him poking against me. I smirked and wiggled against him in just the right spot. He gave a small groan and I felt his hips pulse against me.

He turned me so we were face-to-face. The look on his face made me catch my breath; as hot as a roaring fire and his dark eyes filled with love. His fingers coasted over my neck, tracing along the vein that pounded with the rush of blood at his touch. They glided over my lower lip. I flicked my tongue out and caught his finger between my teeth.

Our breathing got heaver, coming slow and thick as molasses, as our eyes remained connected. The burn overtook us as Jake moved his hands down my abdomen and unbuttoned my pants. A gasp, a moan, and his hand disappeared below my waistband. My hips were rocking, undulating as I pressed my lips to his. His tongue explored every inch of my mouth as his fingers teased me.

One hand was fisting his hair; the other moved down to the juncture of his thighs where I began stroking in turn. His moan filled my mouth while his other hand moved under the back of my shirt where he flicked my bra open. His fingers trailed over my ribs, tracing each one, before moving to the front and cupping my breast in his hand.

I had no concept of time. It was as if it all happened in the span of a couple minutes, while it also felt like we'd been doing this for hours. "How long..?" I managed to mutter against the softness of Jake's full lips.

He laid me down. "Said they won't be back for awhile," he mumbled.

I wanted to tell him we should move to the bedroom, but I lost myself in the touch of Jake's hands. His hips pressed down into mine and we both moaned feverishly. His hands slowly pushed my t-shirt up until my breasts were exposed; his lips closed around my nipple. My back arched in response and he slid his arms under me, holding me up so he could lick and kiss his way across my chest to my other breast.

His mouth moved up to mine again, and my hands drifted down, gripping his ass and pulling him in even tighter.

Suddenly, Jake yanked my shirt down. "Wha…?" I managed to gasp, before we heard the front door bang open.

"Oh God, just what I always wanted to see," I heard a dry, female voice groan.

My cheeks heated furiously. Jake sat up and since he was blocking me from view, I hastily reached behind me and hooked my bra in place. Rachel stood in the living room, eyebrows raised, and a slight smirk curling her lips.

"Bella Swan," she said. "So you're the girl who seduced my little brother and has him all a-flutter."

Even though she gave me a slight smile, I could see the wariness in her eyes. My eyes narrowed in response; I didn't appreciate the innuendo that I was playing Jake. "Rachel Black," I said coolly. "You don't know me very well then, do you?"

She laughed then, her dark eyes twinkling. "Sorry. It was an instinctive reaction; just want to make sure my little brother is happy, that's all."

I relaxed a little. Her long dark hair was pulled back in a ponytail, her russet skin tinged from the cool wind outside. Her eyes were bright, a contented smile on her face. She looked so much like Jacob; just as beautiful.

Jake rolled his eyes. "Thanks for the unnecessary concern, Rachel. Now why are you home?"

She snickered. "Sorry to interrupt, Jakey, but I decided to come back and get ready since we decided we're heading into Port Angeles for dinner. Be out of your hair soon enough," she responded.

As she headed down the little hallway, she gave me a quick smile. "Nice to see you again, Bella."

"You too," I murmured. When we heard the bathroom door close, Jake shook his head.

"Sisters are a pain in the ass."

* * *

Billy had gotten back before Rachel left – she took a hell of a lot longer in the bathroom than I did – so we didn't get our chance to be alone again. Jake walked me out to the truck and heaved a sigh as I got in.

I leaned out the window and kissed him softly. "We'll make up for it, Jake."

"Yeah, at your house," he mumbled. I detected lots of irritation in his voice and I couldn't help but laugh.

"We just both have to not be working; Charlie will be gone so we'll have plenty of time." I gave him what I hoped was a sexy grin and was rewarded with his eager, sunny smile.

He kissed me again. "I can't wait," he whispered, his lips brushing against my ear. I shivered in response. "I'm going to make up for lost time, believe me."

An echoing throb between my legs made me shift a little uncomfortably. "Hopefully this week," I murmured as his tongue traced the shape of my ear.

With a groan he pulled away. I gave him a little wave as I pulled away. Back home I was surprised Charlie wasn't home yet. It was after dinner time; that was unusual. I peeked in the fridge. The covered dish of food I had left him was still there, untouched. I played with Qahla until I heard the front door open.

"Hey Dad," I said. "You're late today. There's a plate in…" I trailed off when he turned and looked at me. "Dad, what happened?" I whispered.

His face was pale and drawn, tired. He sighed heavily. I got the plate out for him silently as he seemed to debate how to tell me. My stomach was twisted in knots, unsure of what was going on and anxious to find out. When the microwave dinged, I got his plate out and set it in front of him. He caught my hand, so I sat down, too.

"There were two more killings, Bells; in the woods about twenty to thirty miles away. We just got back from the scene. It was the oddest thing because there were animal tracks nearby that completely disappeared further on and there were human footprints then."

I bit my lip nervously. "More hikers?" I whispered.

He nodded, rubbing a hand down his face. "Yeah. Whoever is doing this is incredibly difficult to see or catch."

He half-heartedly ate his dinner as I sat there, trying to wrap my mind around it. The pack must have heard about it now, I figured. How could whatever this was keep getting away with it so easily? I had no idea why it would be so difficult to catch them. Even with vampires there was a hint that it _was _a vampire. I worried about the safety of Jake and the pack trying to figure this out and patrolling. I was scared for Charlie; I hated that he had to go in the woods and that it was his job to protect everyone over himself, especially after he had been attacked once.

Before I went up to bed, the phone rang. "Hello?" I said.

"Bells, it's me. We're meeting at Sam and Emily's tomorrow morning; can you come or do you have to work?"

"No, I have off tomorrow. I can come."

"Good. There were two more hikers found dead," he said his voice sad and subdued.

"Yeah, Charlie told me," I murmured.

"I figured. We'll talk more about it tomorrow. I love you, Bella," he whispered.

"I love you, too, Jake."

I had trouble falling asleep that night. I wished Jake was here with me, safe and sound, instead of patrolling the woods that now seemed so sinister. I drifted off to sleep, my mind uneasy even in unconsciousness.

When I got to Emily and Sam's the following morning, the atmosphere was a little quieter than normal. And it was a bit tense; Jake looked irritated and upset and I had a feeling something else was going on. Rachel was sitting at the table, and I did a double-take. She knew?

Jake wrapped his arms around me. "That asshole Paul had to imprint on my sister to make this situation even better," he groaned.

"What?" I gasped in surprise.

He sighed. "Last night. They ran into each other when she got back from Port Angeles. There was no use delaying the inevitable; she was invited here today. She was given all the details just before you got here." That explained the shell-shocked expression on her face.

"Is she okay?" I murmured, gazing at Rachel's pale, unwavering face with concern.

"She's tough. She'll handle it."

I looked at him. "Are _you_ okay?" I asked.

He rolled his eyes. "I'm so not happy about this. Paul's normally a pain in the ass, now he's going to be a more present pain in the ass."

We watched as Paul laid a hand on Rachel's shoulder; she jumped, but relaxed when her eyes met Paul's. The utter adoration on Paul's face would have been comical if the situation weren't so serious. Jake gave an annoyed grunt and strode over to the table to say something to them. I took that as my cue to escape into the kitchen with Emily, Kim and… Leah?

"Hey Bella!" Emily greeted me, her voice a little more subdued than usual, giving me a one-armed hug. "You're just in time to help us out," she added with a small grin.

"I'm all yours," I responded. "Hi Kim… Leah," I added quietly.

Kim gave me a quick hug, too, but Leah just nodded slightly. I saw Emily piling sausages high on plates and raised my eyebrows at her. She smiled and mouthed that she and Leah were beginning to build their relationship again. Happy with that I took over pouring batter onto the griddle and flipping the pancakes. Once we had everything together, we all dug in. I was beginning to like this ritual. The situation wasn't a good one, but I liked what I was coming to think of as my family gathering together for breakfast.

When the plates were nearly licked clean, Sam and Jake dove right in. "Rachel, I'm sorry this got dumped on you so quickly. I know it's confusing, but we'll answer any questions you may have," Sam said.

"You know all the legends," Jake sighed. "They're all true as we told you. We're all wolves; it was passed down through generations. Vampires are real and they are out there. There's something else out there, though, and we're all going in blind. We'll protect you, though," he said, reaching out for her hand. I could see their bond, even if Jake was annoyed by all this, as she trustingly laid her hand in his.

"As far as the imprinting goes, Paul can explain that to you more fully later on," he added as an afterthought.

"Why are the vampires here?" she whispered, her eyes searching her brother's, then Paul's.

"There was a family of vampires living here," Jake said. "They don't hunt or hurt people. Bella had befriended them before they left…"

The little twinge pinged inside of me. "I was involved with one," I murmured. Everyone got quiet. "A few nomad vampires came when I was with them and the one became fixated with me. It boiled down to a fight back in Phoenix where I grew up, and Edward – the one I was involved with – killed him. His mate wanted revenge, so she's been making herself known after the Cullen family left. What is with her, if they even are with her, is unknown."

Jake's hand glided over my back and I leaned into him. The memories of Edward, of the Cullen's, swirled around in my mind. When I thought of them it still caused a twinge of sadness.

Rachel looked as if she were at a loss for words. "You were dating a vampire?" she said.

"Yes," I said softly. "They had cared about me, and I care about them. They never hurt anyone."

I glanced down at the table the words "had cared" echoing in my mind.

Jake changed the subject for me. He and Sam discussed with the others the bodies' that were found. They were confused about the animal tracks leading into human tracks. Jake seemed bothered, like he was missing something, but they figured that the second human came onto the first one being killed which would explain the mixed prints.

As they discussed strategy, I began to tune out. As they continued, I helped Emily take the dishes to the sink. The guys finished just as we did, and I headed out to my truck to go home. Jake followed me out and wrapped me in a hug.

"I'm still looking forward to being alone with you," Jake mumbled into my hair.

I smiled. "How about tomorrow? I work from nine to two. Charlie won't be home until about seven."

His eyes lit up. "I think that would work. I'll see you tomorrow, Bells," he said, his lips trailing heat across my cheek.

Angela stopped over later that day, and we caught up as I put together a casserole to bake for dinner. She asked about the trip to Jacksonville, so I filled her in on the highlights. She then asked me if the bra I bought was worth it. Her cheeks colored as she asked it and mine did, too, as I admitted it had worked extremely well. It wasn't something I had been planning to share, but it was nice to have someone else understand. We were both laughing and I realized what I had been missing up until these past few months. I had girl friends, but I hadn't been that close to them. It was nice to have it with Angela, and it was moving that way with Emily and Kim.

She ended up staying for dinner and I was glad for the company.

I ate breakfast quickly the following morning and headed for Newton's for my shift. Mike and I chatted amiably during the lulls, so the day went rather quickly. Before I knew it, it was two o'clock and I hurried home. Jake wouldn't be over for another hour, but I wanted to take a quick shower.

I let Qahla out to go to the bathroom; she was whining a lot for some reason and didn't seem to want to stay outside, so with a shrug I let her back in. I went up to my room to get my bathroom bag, and I caught a glimpse of russet-colored fur and a familiar shape near the edge of my yard. Jake must have run over early; I hurried down the steps, shower forgotten, as I opened the door and went outside.

"Jake?" I called out.

I distantly heard Qahla barking at the door as I hurried into the line of the forest. The rain pattered off the leaves, and I frowned. What was he doing? I walked a little further, hesitant, but I knew that color of fur anywhere. I was about to call out again when I heard a rustle to the right of me. My heart began beating faster. Jake knew better than to tease me like this, and I felt a trickle of unease creep up my spine.

My throat worked as I swallowed hard, the sound incredibly loud amidst the quiet trees. I carefully backed away, back toward the house, when I saw a blur. For the briefest of seconds, I thought it was a wolf but then I was flying through the air and collided with a tree. I felt the fierce throb in my back as I crumpled to the ground, gasping for breath, struggling to get up. My shirt stuck to my back, and I was dimly aware that a branch must have cut me.

Another flash and I felt something sharp grip at my leg and felt it wrenching as my leg was shaken. I flailed frantically; my breath was short, and I couldn't work up a scream. "No, please, no," I managed to whimper.

Whatever it was disappeared, and I managed to pull myself up with the tree. My back felt as if it was on fire, my leg was shaking from the pain, and I tried to hobble toward the house. My breath was still coming short, and I hazily tried to focus on where I needed to go. Distantly I heard a dog barking and howling. Even through the haze of pain something felt off still. I braced myself against a tree, holding myself as still as possible.

"Oh Bella," a voice whispered. The sound raised the hairs on the back of my neck. Instinctively, I knew it was a vampire.

I carefully reached my hand up the back of my shirt, wincing, so I got blood on my fingers. I wiped them on the tree and walked like Jake taught me and just listened. I felt my skin prickle and slipped almost silently to another tree, my leg screaming in protest. I tried to breathe shallowly, but my panic was growing in force.

I moved yet again, but moments later I heard the same voice. "I don't _think _I will kill you, Bella," the voice taunted. "Victoria wants that honor, but we'll see how it goes."

Squeezing my eyes shut, I bit my lip. "Very tricky," the voice continued in a mocking tone. "You can be a little sneaky, but it's not good enough."

Suddenly the vampire was in front of me. I stumbled back and nearly fell as my leg twisted and gave another painful throb. The vampire was barely a man; young with smooth skin, a malicious smile, and bright red eyes. He slid one finger down my cheek to my neck and all I could think about was Jake, my family and how much I loved them.

I felt pain slice into my cheek and I cried out as I was sent flying sideways into a tree. There was now pain radiating from my arm and my head, and I felt dizzy and nauseous. My body was slowly being battered. I managed to suck air into my lungs through the pain in one last-ditch effort and screamed Jake's name, praying that by some miracle he would hear me.

The screams of pain I barely recognized as my own kept coming, though. Someone _had_ to hear me…

"So its Jacob is it?" he taunted me. "Your little wolf lover. Maybe I should find out just what this wolf sees in you," he continued a wicked gleam in his eye.

Terror ripped through me as I tried to scramble away. His fingers tightened around my throat, pulling me closer to him, and I managed a small whimper. Then I saw three monstrous wolves - through the wavering haze clouding my vision - come charging into the clearing. The vampire released me, and my body crumpled to the ground. I saw russet, gray, and sand colors swirling and heard the most vicious snarls I had ever heard. I managed a faint smile, knowing Jake was here.

I felt tickling on my lip as my eyes met Jake's, and my stomach rolled at the taste of blood. Mercifully the darkness claimed me.

* * *

**JPOV:**

"Damn pain-in-the-ass car," I muttered feelingly as I tried to make it run. With an irritated huff, I slid back underneath it. With a few more adjustments the thing rumbled to life. "Yes!" I cheered.

I double-checked everything, wiped my hands on an old rag, and then sat down at the bench in the back of the garage to do some more wood work. I was finding that I really loved doing this; Billy had taught me quite a few years ago how to do it, but I was really getting into it now. I loved crafting an exquisite image out of a hunk of wood.

I lost track of time as I worked and only came to when I heard thumping outside the garage. I glanced at the clock; still had a couple hours before I had to leave for Bella's.

"You're a cheater," a male voice complained. "You know I would have won that."

"Yeah right, punk. I'm faster than you on your best day and you know it!" a smug female voice responded.

"Are not."

"Am too."

I snickered at the exchange as Seth and Leah came into the garage, shoving each other. "Okay kiddies, that's enough," I said with a smirk. Leah rolled her eyes, but smiled. I gave her an affectionate noogie; I knew she liked those and was rewarded with a punch to the chest.

I gently herded them back out of the garage toward the house. The garage was mine and Bella's. Inside we all grabbed a soda. "What are you two up to today?" I asked.

"Just thought we'd come over and hang out with you before you head off to Bella's," Leah said, tucking her hair behind her ear.

Seth glanced at everything except me. Leah noticed, too, unfortunately. "Ooo, Seth. I know _you_ want to go to Bella's, too…" she teased.

The poor kid blushed. If I hadn't felt kind of sorry for him, I would be irritated. "Shut up, Leah," he mumbled.

She gave his shoulder a pat, deciding to lay off him. We all sprawled around the living room just shooting the shit. As they discussed Sue and Charlie, I realized I was feeling a bit twitchy. I frowned, trying to focus on what was bothering me, but I couldn't figure it out. Suddenly the niggling worry turned into a slither up my spine and something just felt very wrong. Abruptly, I stood up, my thoughts flying immediately to Bella.

"Bella," I gasped the unease now a full-blown fear. Without a word for Leah and Seth who were staring at me in shock, I ripped my shorts off as I raced out the door, phasing as soon as I hit the tree line.

_Jake! What's wrong??_ Leah gasped in my head. She and Seth were pounding the forest after me. I let a howl rip loose - alerting any of the other pack members who were in the vicinity that something was wrong. I had no doubts.

I could barely think. I managed to utter Bella's name in my head. Then I heard it; Bella was screaming my name and I pushed myself to a speed that I had never reached before. I barreled into the clearing, Leah and Seth coming up behind me, and I very nearly froze in horror. A filthy, fucking bloodsucker had her by the throat and was telling her in no uncertain terms that he was going to find out what was so special about her; he was pulling her closer and every bit of rage I had ripped through me.

Leah and Seth dove as soon as the leech let her go; I saw her body crumple. Everything I saw was red as it whipped around just in time for Leah and Seth to clamp their jaws around its arms. It hissed wildly. "They'll get her next time," it snarled, and then its eyes widened in fear as I crouched, springing toward it with everything I had.

Leah and Seth ripped its arms from its body as I latched onto the neck, wrenching its head from it. Immediately I turned and Bella's beautiful eyes met mine; glassy and a little unfocused. Blood slowly dripped down her lip and then her eyes closed. I could hear the sounds of Leah and Seth lighting the leech on fire as I phased back. My hand was shaking as I gently touched her hair, heard her labored breathing.

My Bella was covered in bruises, and there was too much blood; I felt the agony and the fear push up from deep in my gut in a cry that shook the forest with its strength as it clawed its way out of my throat.

* * *

**A/N: Don't hate me! It sort of hurt actually to write this last part! Things are slowly going to start being revealed. **


	25. Aftermath

**A/N: First, thanks to the reviewers I can't respond personally to. Second, I have a challenge one-shot up for Team SOB's "rain scene" that is open for voting until the 7****th**** and there are lots of other really awesome stories there to vote for! www[dot]fanfiction[dot]net/~teamsob (and of course you use actual periods for the web address).**

**I'll try and keep this brief: I was near the end of this chapter, so I pushed through to get it up, but the next one might take a little longer. I lost two extended family members within a day of each other, so I'm going to take a few days for myself and a couple days for the funerals. I wanted to let you all know only because I know I'm pretty regular with updating, but it won't take me real long to get back to it. It's proving a good distraction. Thanks for sticking with me! **

* * *

_Bella was smiling and swaying a little to the music while I lay back and watched her. Her long brown hair trailed down over soft, milky pale shoulders. _

_ She was smiling and laughing at me as I presented her with a stuffed dragon at the carnival, a stick of pink cotton candy in her hand. Her chocolate eyes were twinkling; she looked so incredibly happy._

When I forced myself back to reality, instead of seeing a happy and smiling Bella, I saw her lying still on the ground. Blood had slowly trickled from her mouth and dried on her chin. I could see darkening patches of skin as she began to bruise. There was dried blood on her leg, her back still seemed to be bleeding slowly, and she wasn't moving. I tried to suck air in my lungs, but apparently they were frozen.

_Come on Jake_, I told myself. _You're Alpha, you need to snap to and take care of her now!_

Then I felt the warmth of a hand rest on my shoulder; I drew what strength Leah gave deep into me and came back. If Bella wasn't able to calm me down, Leah was my second choice. It was enough to get me to move. I heard the thundering of feet through the forest and the whole pack arrived, skidding to a stop when they saw what lay before them.

"Oh my God," Embry whispered. They were all staring in shock.

Sam snapped to attention, ordering his pack and the rest of mine, to start patrolling immediately.

Swiftly, Leah knelt next to me, Seth standing on my other side. "Jake, we need to check and make sure there aren't any breaks we could make worse by picking her up," she said calmly.

Immediately I began running my hands carefully over her legs, her back and around to her stomach, checking to see if anything felt different. Leah checked her arms, neck, and upper chest. Panic still wanted to overtake me, but I knew it wasn't going to help Bella, so I kept going.

"It doesn't feel like anything is broken," I said and she nodded, not having found anything either.

"Seth," Leah ordered, "Run home and get us clothing and call 911."

"No," I said, shaking my head. "If nothing is broken, I'll carry her to the car and we'll drive her to the hospital. It'll be faster."

She agreed. Seth came back before we even left the forest and we yanked our clothes on quickly, and I leaned down to pick Bella up, being careful of her back. I cradled her against me, making sure her head was supported and hurried back to her house. I heard Sam tell Leah to get in touch with him as soon as we knew anything.

Back at the house I heard Qahla barking like mad at the door, scratching at it. "Jake, we need to reach Charlie immediately. Is he at the station?"

"I have no idea," I answered, my leg bouncing anxiously. "I believe he has a cell phone for work you can call, though. I'm pretty sure it's by the telephone. Hurry, though!"

"Seth, call the number and see if you can get a hold of him. If for whatever reason you can't, call the station and leave a message for them to get in touch with Charlie and tell them what happened," Leah rattled off, opening the door.

Qahla was on the porch immediately, barking furiously, hair bristled on her neck. She ran over to me, whining and jumping up. Leah ran into the kitchen for a bottle of water and hurried up the steps to Bella's room as I took her to the truck. Seth came out then, shaking his head.

"Jake, he's not picking up his cell. I don't know if he has it with him or not. I called the station and spoke to one of his deputies; they're going to try and track him down. They said he was out working on a case and weren't sure if they would be able to reach him immediately. They're trying, though."

I nodded, frantic to get Bella to the hospital. "Thanks Seth. Bring Qahla with, okay? I know Bella wouldn't want her left alone after all this."

Leah came out of the house then, hurrying toward us with a change of clothes. She got in the driver's seat of the truck, while Seth sat in the bed of the truck. I carefully eased Bella down onto my lap. Qahla sat on the floor by my feet, her head resting on the seat near Bella's leg and whimpered. As Leah drove, every worry I had crashed down on me as I looked down at Bella's pale face. It seemed like forever that she had been out, but in actuality it wasn't really that long.

Leah sped to the hospital as I stroked a hand over Bella's hair. Suddenly her eyelids flickered. With my heart pounding in my chest, I leaned over her, stroking the cheek that wasn't cut. "Bells? Honey can you hear me?"

She moaned softly, twitching. "You're safe. We're taking you to the hospital," I whispered. "Bella?"

"Jaaake," she whimpered, drawing my name out on a pained moan. "Hurts," she murmured. She gagged a little at the taste of blood in her mouth so I quickly and gently eased her up and dripped a little water in her mouth. She swallowed and slipped away again.

"Lee, hurry," I begged. We were nearly there, but I needed Bella in that hospital. Now.

She raced up to the curb and jumped out. I carefully eased myself out of the truck, so I didn't jostle Bella. Leah asked Seth to park the car and stay with Qahla and she would be out to tell him what was going on. I barely heard her as I raced into the ER.

A nurse saw me and hurried over. "Please," I begged. "Please help her."

I carefully laid Bella on the stretcher another nurse brought over. They began checking her over. The young, dark-haired nurse flashed a light in Bella's eyes. "What happened?" she asked briskly.

"Another animal attack," I said, not wanting to get too into it.

A doctor came – the same doctor that treated her cuts from riding motorcycles – and he nodded at me. They wheeled her away from me. The panic and uncertainty drove me to pace. Why didn't I get to her sooner? I could have stopped that bloodsucker from ever laying a filthy hand on my Bella. I couldn't help wondering why Bella went into the woods, though. Thoughts circled in my mind, never ceasing, as we waited.

Leah was quiet, silently lending me her support. "Lee, nothing from Charlie yet?" I asked worriedly. He couldn't have been _that_ hard to get a hold of.

She shook her head. "No, nothing."

I resumed pacing and worrying. Luckily it didn't take as long as I thought; the good thing about Forks was that it was a small town, so waiting for hours didn't happen extremely often.

Dr. Snow came out to us. I jumped up from resting my head in my hands. "Jacob," he said. I guess we had been in there often enough to make an impression.

"She'll be okay," he said calmly. "She has a lot of bruises and a couple cuts that needed to be stitched up. Her wrist was sprained. Her leg seemed to get the worst of it; it's a relatively deep muscle bruise and we needed to stitch up a cut on it as well, so she'll need crutches."

My breathing evened out, but only slightly. "She was bleeding from the mouth; what about that? There's nothing else wrong?" I asked worriedly.

"We checked it out. She bled because the inside of her cheek got cut up. We ran some x-rays and made sure there were no internal injuries. The loss of blood and the trauma was what caused her to pass out. She'll need a lot of rest, ice on her leg, and some pain medication. She was really very lucky."

I inhaled a shaky breath. "Thank you, Dr. Snow. What about Charlie?" He still wasn't here.

"Bella was awake and coherent to sign her check-out papers. We gave her a dose of her medication after because she was in pain. You can pick up her medication from the hospital pharmacy," he said, handing me the prescription. "The bills will be sent to her father, since he isn't here yet, just so you won't have to pay anything or run into any problems. We all know each other here," he said with a smile.

"Okay. Again, thank you," I said fervently, shaking his hand.

A nurse wheeled Bella out in the wheelchair and I felt my heart break seeing her look so fragile in the wheelchair. She seemed to be floating between awake and sleep. Leah took the offered crutches, and I declined the wheelchair, picking Bella up instead and carrying her first to get the prescription filled and then out of the hospital. Back in the truck, I tried to soothe her, but she wasn't quite awake and was restless.

"Jake. Wolf," she mumbled.

We got back to her house and I carried her to the steps. I turned to Leah when she laid a hand on my back. "Jake, we'll stay until Charlie gets here and in case you need anything. Just yell for us."

I swallowed a little thickly. "Thanks Lee for everything. And Seth, thank you, too." She nodded and rubbed a hand over my back.

I carried Bella upstairs; she was half-awake and I was hearing her muted moans and whimpers. Each sound was a stab of pain for me, too; it was killing me to hear her suffering. I sat her on the end of the bed, rifling through her drawers for something comfortable for her to wear. Seth knocked lightly on the door and handed me a bottle of water and a couple ice packs he had found.

I thanked him again and then shut the door, gently pulling Bella's shirt over head. She looked so groggy, so I tried to be quicker. I carefully unhooked her bra, being careful of her bandaged back, and then helped her slide a t-shirt on. The pants were a little more difficult; I managed to get them off, but she cried out, and I nearly echoed it when I saw her leg. It was bruised and I could see the red skin around the bandage covering her stitches. She grabbed my shoulder weakly as I gently helped her get her sweatpants on. I managed to get her on the side that wasn't quite as bruised. I kicked my shoes off and slid into bed with her, very carefully easing her over to rest on me.

She was breathing heavier already, near sleep, and I felt as if I could pass out as well. Just as I closed my eyes I heard the screech of tires and the slamming of a car door. Downstairs I heard Charlie panicking; feet pounding up the stairs after Leah told him Bella was in bed. I didn't have the energy to get up, though, so I just waited until he barreled into the room.

He met my eyes, half of him uncertain about me being there, but his concern over Bella making it a non-issue. His face paled when he saw her; I carefully eased myself out of the bed. Man, I was so tired. Silently I handed him the discharge papers and let him read her injuries for himself. His throat worked as he read through it.

"It was the same thing that attacked me?" he whispered, his face pale.

I wasn't even sure not having the chance to talk to Bella, but I couldn't very well tell Charlie that I had seen a vampire attack her. "Well, I didn't really get a chance to talk to her about it; she's been pretty out of it. Leah and Seth were with me when I stopped by and we heard her scream. We made a hell of a lot of noise getting to her; I believe we scared it off."

He swallowed hard, his eyes never leaving Bella, who was sleeping fitfully.

"We got her the prescription pills, Charlie. She has crutches for her leg, and Dr. Snow gave us a cream to put on around the spots she got stitches," I said. "What's important is that she'll be okay," I finished in a whisper.

He nodded, looking completely shaken up. "I'd like a couple minutes with her," he responded. I turned to leave and I felt him reach out and touch my arm. "Thank you, Jake. I could never begin to thank you, Leah, and Seth enough for helping her tonight."

I nodded. "I love her. I'll always be there for her," I said simply before I left him alone with Bella.

* * *

**BPOV:**

My moments of lucidity after it happened came in flashes. I_ saw Jake standing there after he killed the vampire, his eyes on mine. _

_ I was lying across Jake's lap in my truck. Everything hurt, and I could barely force any words out of my throat; it was too sore._

_ Jake was carrying me into the hospital; I was wheeled into a very white room. It hurt getting the stitches and I wished Jake was there holding my hand. I felt the coldness of tears on my cheeks._

_ I was awake enough to understand what Dr. Snow was saying. I signed the papers for my release, wanting to be back with Jake and at home. The pain meds dragged me under, so I only managed a glimpse of Jacob. It was enough._

I had been awake when we got back home, but my throat was just too sore and I was too tired from the medication to say anything. A shooting pain in my leg as he helped me get my pants off had me crying out. The agony in his eyes was as unbearable as the pain, but all I managed to do was hold onto his shoulder as he got my sweats on. Relief was what I felt lying on Jake's chest in my bed and sleep came fast.

I was swimming to the surface now, knowing something was pulling me there. When I managed to drag my eyes open, Charlie was sitting on my bed, his face in his hands. I reached out for him, struggling to sit up; it didn't matter if I was tired and hurting. I needed to show Charlie I would be okay. He turned and his brown eyes so similar to mine were red. There were a few tears on his cheeks.

I leaned toward him and he was right there, wrapping his arms around me. I pressed my cheek to his shoulder and let him hold me. A smile curled my lips smelling his familiar smell; leather, a hint of spice, and coffee.

His hand moved over my hair. "Oh Bella," he mumbled. "I'm so glad you're okay. I keep thinking about those hikers…" his voice choked off. "I was so scared, just imaging that. I can't lose you."

Tears began to slide unchecked down my cheeks. "I'm sorry, Dad. I'm so sorry." I hated lying, but I needed an excuse as to why I went in the woods. "I let Qahla out; she heard something and ran toward the trees, and I panicked and ran after her. It had really scared her. It just happened so fast," I said in a shaky voice.

He discreetly wiped his hand across his cheek. He checked my leg and my back and then got up to let me get some rest. Jake came back in and perched on the edge of my bed, Qahla in his arms. She was whimpering a little as he set her down, making sure she wasn't going to leap on me. She immediately came over to lick my cheek then settled down with her head on my stomach.

I was dozing off almost immediately, but reached out for Jake when I heard Charlie mutter that they should leave and let me sleep. "Don't go, Jake," I mumbled.

I held onto his hand and I heard Charlie sigh. "Fine, you can stay with her."

"I'll leave the door open. In case you want to check on her," Jake said quietly.

He stretched out next to me, shifting Qahla to another spot, and I carefully rested my head on his chest and fell fast asleep.

* * *

**JPOV:**

I woke in the middle of the night and checked on Bella. She was twitching against me, her brow furrowed. I stroked my hand over her hair, trying to soothe her, watching her long dark lashes flutter against her cheeks.

"No," she moaned. "Please don't."

"Bells, baby, wake up," I said brushing my hand over her neck.

Her breath was coming faster, and I tried to urge her to wake up. She still woke with a cry as her body spasmed. Her face was contorted in pain and I felt so helpless. "My back," she panted. "It itches and it hurts. So does my leg."

Hurriedly, I reached for the cream. I gave her some for her leg and carefully lifted her shirt. I eased the bandage off and winced at the raw stitched cut. I saw Charlie appear at the door. "Bells? Are you okay?" he asked.

I began to carefully apply the cream to her back. She twitched at the touch. "It hurts," she murmured. "But I'm okay, Dad. I just needed some cream." He nodded and went back to bed.

When I finished with her back, I saw her head turned to the side, the cream still on her fingers. She looked a little ill. "I can't even put it on; just the sight of it makes me feel sick," she whispered.

I kissed her temple and applied the cream to her leg. Once fresh bandages were put on, we lay back down. I felt a little wetness on my chest and I glanced down at her. Carefully, I tilted her face toward mine and saw that she was crying quietly.

"Bella, they won't hurt you again. I won't let it happen."

"I'm sorry," she gasped trying to control her tears. "Everything just hurts and I'm scared."

I stroked her hair, kissing every spot I could reach; her forehead, her eyelids, her temple. I brushed my lips over the little butterfly bandage on her cheek. She leaned up and her lips brushed against mine. We kissed softly, just breathing each other in.

"Thank you for saving me," she mumbled just as she drifted off to sleep again.

The following day was harder in some ways. She was tired, she hurt and it was making her cranky. The pack, Emily, Kim, and her friends' from school all wanted to stop by so Charlie was telling them to come later to give her a chance to calm down. It was beyond difficult watching her trying to maneuver with crutches and unable to do anything. Qahla followed her around, and I could see she wasn't herself either, even when I took her outside to go to the bathroom.

We ran into a problem with showering, too. She couldn't do it by herself; Charlie certainly wasn't going to help with that, but he got irritated by the idea of me helping her. "Absolutely not," he snapped. "One of her other _female_ friends can help her."

I knew that Charlie was aware that Bella and I were sleeping together, so it hardly seemed like a big deal. Bella solved that problem, though. "Alice helped me before and she's not here to do so again." A flicker of sadness crossed her face. "I want Jake to do it; I don't feel comfortable with anyone else," she said grumpily, attempting to make her way to the steps, visibly getting annoyed and tired from walking around.

Charlie reluctantly agreed, looking just as annoyed, but not wanting to argue with her. I had carried her upstairs; she protested at first, but she was too tired and knew it. We had to re-adjust her position in the bathtub a few times to wash various areas and keep other areas dry. I did my best to wash her hair, since her right wrist wasn't of much use. It wasn't an easy task and she ended up just being frustrated. I wrapped a towel around her, helping her out of the tub, and I ended up just keeping my arms around her. She laid her head on my shoulder, and we just stood there saying nothing.

Finally I let go, though it was difficult. "I love you," I said, tucking a wet strand of hair behind her ear.

"I love you, too," she murmured.

I let her get dressed and dry her hair alone, giving her the freedom to do something herself. I called Billy to make sure he was okay and didn't need anything, and he assured me that he was fine and that Rachel was helping him out when he needed it. I just got off the phone when I heard Bella thumping her way down the steps.

I raced over to the steps scared that she would fall. She was inching her way down on her behind, crutches thumping as she dragged them behind her. "Bells, I would have come to get you," I said helping her up.

"I know you would have, but I thought I should do it myself," she said. She winced as she stuck the crutches under her arms.

I knew she was feeling a bit grumpy, but I had to ask. "You okay?"

"Yes," she sighed. "I'm just tired of my armpits hurting already."

She eased onto the sofa and I sat next to her. "Do you want me to kiss it and make it better?" I asked, leaning in toward her armpit.

I surprised a giggle out of her. "Jake, stop!" She put her hand on my forehead, trying to push me away. "You're not kissing my armpit; that's weird."

I kissed her shoulder instead. "We should let Qahla out," she said, attempting to get up. "We need to keep an eye on her, too, just in case…"

"I already did, honey. I went out with her, too. She's still nervous; she stayed right up against my leg the whole time. In fact, she was so close I thought she was going to end up peeing on my foot."

She giggled again. "Stop trying to cheer me up when I'm being grumpy."

I smiled. "Why don't you rest for a little while? Then you can try a few more things by yourself and see how it goes."

She agreed and lay on the sofa. I got her another pill and after she took it, she reached up toward me, so I leaned down and pressed my lips to hers. I forgot everything at the touch of her lips. Every time we touched I was reminded of how lucky I was to get to her in time. I breathed in her clean, soapy scent and kissed her cheek.

"I'm sorry I'm being such a pain," she mumbled.

"Don't worry about it, Bells," I said kissing the top of her head. "Just sleep; I'll wake you up when everyone gets here." She nodded sleepily and was out before I left the room.

* * *

**BPOV:**

I woke up when I heard the commotion in the kitchen. I pulled my hair up the best I could because I knew it was a mess and tried to rub the sleep out of my eyes. The next hour was filled with people coming in and out. Angela, Jessica, Mike, and Eric all stopped in to see me. They chipped in and bought me a silky blanket and nap pillow. When they left, Mike and Angela gave me an extra squeeze.

Kim and Emily brought covered dishes of food for us and stayed to chat with me. They told me that there was another meeting at Sam and Emily's tomorrow and if I felt up to it, I should come. I agreed immediately; I was already sick of feeling stuck in the house and it had only been one day.

The whole pack stopped in to say hi, Sue stopped by with more food for us and Renee called. Charlie had called her and succeeded in calming her down a little bit. She still cried on the phone and got me all teary as well. When I finished Seth came in and perched on the sofa near my feet.

"I'm really glad you're okay, Bella," Seth said shyly.

I smiled. "I owe you a thank you, Seth." I reached a hand out and touched his.

He met my eyes briefly. "There's no need to thank me."

We were both quiet for a moment and then he looked at me and blushed. "Um, Bella? We all know that I like you; I think you're really pretty and you've always been so nice to me. I know I have no chance, I always did. I would never do that to Jake anyway. I just wanted you to know that."

I blushed, too. I sat up and looked right at him. "Thank you, Seth. Any girl who falls in love with you – and who you fall in love with - will be extremely lucky," I said quietly. I carefully eased myself over on the sofa and placed a light kiss on his cheek.

Jake walked in and gave Seth a look. I thanked Seth again and Jake leaned over, taking my face in his hands and kissing me deeply. I gently pulled away, needing to breathe. "Relax," I teased gently. "He's a good kid and it was just a thank you kiss on the cheek."

He nuzzled my cheek. "Fine, but he better watch himself," he said half teasingly.

I rolled my eyes, and he kissed me again. "Bells, I'm going to go check on Billy. Rachel had a job interview, and I promised her I'd go check on him. Leah and Seth agreed to stick around here to keep an eye on you and Charlie."

I bit my lip, not wanting him to go, but not wanting to make him feel guilty for leaving for a little bit. Of course Jake could read my expressions too well. I glanced down and picked at the soft thread of the worn brown and green blanket that usually lay over the back of the couch. I felt his fingers brush my cheek, sliding under my chin, and tilting my face up to his.

"I'll be back soon," he murmured, pressing his lips against mine again. I tried deepening the kiss, and he seemed to go with it at first, his soft lips molding to mine as his tongue slowly explored my mouth. I gasped softly, and he pulled away. I sighed in defeat.

After he left I lay on the couch, dozing on and off until I heard a soft movement. I blinked my eyes open sleepily and saw Leah sitting on the armchair, gazing out the window where Seth sat on the porch keeping an eye on things. I heard Charlie mumbling in the kitchen and recognized Sue's voice as she answered him.

I swallowed hard. "Leah? I just… wanted to say thank you for helping Jake with me. I'm really grateful to you; he told me you really helped him out," I said quietly.

She turned to look at me, dark eyes a little somber, but also a little softer than usual. "Of course," she said simply. "I may not be the easiest person, but I did want to help."

I lay there in silence as she fiddled with the leather band around her wrist. It was only a few minutes until Jake came back into the house; apparently I had slept a little bit more than I had thought. Leah stood up to head out.

I was facing the back of the sofa, but I was sure I heard her whispered voice. "It wasn't just for Jake; I'm glad you're okay," she said as I felt a light brush of fingers on my hand; it happened so fast I wasn't even positive it had happened.

Jake stayed with me again that night and the following morning he asked me if I still wanted to go to Sam and Emily's. I was eager to get out of the house, so I agreed readily. He let me get ready, and I let him carry me downstairs. I was still grumpy about it, but I let it slide. In the Rabbit he laid my crutches on the backseat and kept the fingers of his one hand entwined with mine.

When we got to Sam and Emily's house, he got out to get my crutches. I eased myself out of the car and held myself up on it, trying not to wince at the ache in my leg. The ice and medication had been helping, but it was still difficult to walk. Seth appeared at my side.

"Want a hand?" he asked. I smiled at him and took his arm, using it as a crutch as he led me to the front steps.

I heard Jake give an exasperated sigh behind me. "You're a difficult patient, Bella Swan."

I turned around and blew him a kiss as Seth helped me up the two front steps. Inside Emily, Kim, and Rachel all clucked in concern, fluttering around me. Kim and Rachel helped get me settled on the sofa, while Emily made me some tea. I was a little embarrassed at the attention, but gave in when they waved away my protests. Once I was settled on the couch, Sam and Jake called the meeting to order.

They worked out coordinating schedules and promised to dig deeper, find more information and figure out what this is. I explained what I thought I saw and Jake said something was familiar about it, but he wasn't sure. I knew it would still take some time; this attack had thrown us all for a loop, but I did feel safe and protected with the pack looking out for me – and everyone – so closely. I felt Jake take my hand in his.

"We'll figure this out, honey, and I will personally make it my goal to keep you safe."

I smiled, squeezing his hand and feeling more content than I had the past couple days.


	26. Realization

**A/N: I didn't get a chance to respond to reviews this time, so I just wanted to say thank you to all who reviewed and who offered their condolences. Much appreciated.**

"**Hey there Little Red Riding Hood,**

**You sure are looking good.**

**You're everything a **

**big bad wolf could want"**

**Sam the Sham & The Pharaohs "Little Red Riding Hood"**

* * *

I dreamed about some kind of animal – large and fast – chasing me through the forest. I woke with a scream of terror only to be wrapped in Jake's arms and held securely against his chest. "Shhh, it's okay." He whispered it over and over against my hair until I calmed down.

His warm lips pressed against mine, calming me further. I had moved away from him during the night, so I tucked my good arm under the pillow and laid my head on his chest. The steady thump of his heart lulled me back to sleep.

The next morning I started feeling guilty from pulling Jake away from Billy, his pack duties, and his work. We nearly got into an argument after breakfast, but he insisted he didn't have much to do.

He finally sighed. "Fine, if I go home to get some work done then you're coming with me."

I raised my eyebrows. "That's fine with me."

So in the end he drove us to La Push – after being grilled by Charlie where we were going and how long we would be gone – so he could work on some more wood pieces. I sat in the garage with him watching as he carefully carved shapes out of pieces of wood. He passed some wood to me to sand to give me something to do as well.

We worked in comfortable silence for quite awhile. I found myself daydreaming as I watched him work; his hands moved confidently over the wood and it brought to mind how his hands moved doing other things. It seemed that Jake and I had never gotten our alone time. Rachel had interrupted us and then I had gotten hurt. I bit my lip as I tried to concentrate on my task, but images of Jake's bare chest, his fingers gliding over my skin, followed by his lips were now flashing through my mind. Charlie had told me that he would be working late tonight, so I knew we would have the house to ourselves for a little while.

"Jake?" I bit my lip again.

"Hmmm?" he murmured, carefully carving symbols onto a tiny wooden drum.

"Charlie's working late tonight," I said casually.

He nodded, still focused on his carving.

"So we have the house to ourselves… so we can, you know, be together," I said quietly, feeling my cheeks warm.

He looked over at me, raising his eyebrows. "I'm not sure if you should engage in any, uh, physical activity yet," he said worriedly. "I wouldn't want to accidentally hurt you."

My brow wrinkled and I felt my lip poke out in a pout. I was about to tell him I was fine, but he glanced at the clock. "Wow, it got late. I'm hungry. Come on, Bells, lets go grab something to eat."

I felt grumpy and disappointed as I struggled to maneuver the stupid crutches. I ended up making some turkey sandwiches for us and we watched television with Billy. Jake drove me home around dinner time and I made a casserole and prepared a platter for Charlie to take to the station when we finished eating.

When we got there, Charlie was in his office, lost in a pile of paperwork. "Hey Dad. I brought you some dinner," I said.

He glanced up, breaking into a tired smile. "Thanks honey; I appreciate that. It smells good!"

We left him with his papers and dinner and headed back to the house. We watched a little more television and played with Qahla; laughing at her antics as she randomly started tearing around the living room in a frenzy.

Later on I managed a quick wash in the shower with only a little help from Jake. I limped my way into my room, leaning on a carved wooden stick Jake gave me to get around so I didn't have to always use my crutches. When Jake disappeared into the bathroom, I grinned mischievously. We had two hours until Charlie came home so I was going to do what I could to get what I wanted. I quickly took off my pajamas and slid into bed, pulling the covers up to my chin.

When Jake came in, he was wearing shorts and a worn t-shirt. When he slid into bed next to me, I rolled over and pressed against him. He gave a start of surprise when his arms wound around me.

"Bells, what…" he started to say, but I interrupted him by sliding my hand down his abdomen to the top of his shorts.

"Jake, just shut up and kiss me," I ordered.

I could see his worry, but he obliged quickly. His lips pressed against mine; I traced the seam of his lips with my tongue until his mouth opened. I bit down on his lower lip and tugged on it, reveling in his groan. Our tongues twisted and stroked as I slid my hand down further, brushing my fingers over his hard length.

I alternately stroked him slowly then with a little more force. His moans and pants continued to spur me on. "Take your clothes off," I panted as his lips blazed a trail down my neck.

He did and it was heaven being pressed against each other naked again. I forgot the ache in my wrist as I stroked his face, tugged on his hair, and scratched my nails down his back. I wanted more but my movements were limited. His hands gripped my hips gently, moving me up so he could brush his lips over my nipples.

"Mmmm…" I moaned, pressing myself closer as his tongue teased the peak.

I cried out as his teeth gently closed over my nipple. He began sucking on me in earnest. "J-jake," I gasped. "I want you inside me."

He very gently turned me so we were lying facing each other; he gently lifted my sore leg and laid it over his, effectively leaving me bared; and not just my body. For a suspended moment our eyes met and held. In their depths I saw the innocence of childhood, of running barefoot in the grass. I saw a future of happiness filled with love and children laughing. The spell broke and I moved against him; his hand dipped between my legs, his fingers dragging up my opening.

"Yes… yes…" I managed to say. It was heaven.

He tilted my face up, kissing every inch he could reach, until his tongue slipped between my lips again. His fingers kept up a steady pace, dipping inside of me, stroking over the sensitive nub. My limbs began to twitch and my eyes fluttered closed as the feelings intensified. I began rocking my hips, close to reaching an explosive climax when he moved his hand away.

I protested, but he shifted his hips closer, brushing the tip of himself against me. I writhed as best I could and then he thrust himself into me. I nearly saw stars as he began pumping his hips against mine. He filled me, stretched me, and totally completed me.

"God Bells… oh yes… you feel so good; so wet," he gasped as our hips melded together.

Being pressed so close, he was brushing right where I wanted him to. I opened my eyes and saw he was focused on my breasts as they moved with his thrusting. Then his eyes met mine and he smiled sweetly. I smirked at him; it was a typical teenage boy thing to do, but his eyes were soft and loving as he watched me while we made love.

Overwhelmed at the emotions of just looking into his eyes provoked, I fisted his hair, kissing my way up his neck to his mouth. His tongue thrust into my mouth as he thrust his hips, burying himself to the hilt inside of me.

Our breath quickened even more, kisses more frantic; Jake's hands were hot as he gently brushed them over the less painful parts of my back and held me firmly against him. My head tilted back, Jake's lips seeking mine out as the pressure built even more.

I cried out one last time as my body flew apart in ecstasy. Jake's grunts intensified the pleasure as he gripped my ass and thrust heavily as he released. As we both came back down from our high, I could feel the throb in my thigh and the sore skin of my back aching. I must have winced, because Jake was looking at me, his brow furrowed.

"Bells…" he started to say, but I put my hand over his mouth.

"Jake, if you say one word about regretting this, I'm kicking you out of this bed," I snapped.

He laughed, pressing his lips to the soft skin under my chin. "I don't regret it. How could I? I always want you, Bells. Are you okay, though?"

"A little sore," I admitted. "But I don't care."

At that moment the door slammed downstairs. I looked at the clock in surprise; I couldn't believe so much time had passed. Jake was dressed in seconds and helped me pull my pajamas back on. He stretched out next to me as I rested my head on his chest. Charlie popped his head in a couple minutes later.

"Night Bells," he said. "Night Jake," he said a little reluctantly. He was still a little bothered by the situation, but didn't say anything.

I felt the warmth of Jake's hand penetrate into the sore muscle of my thigh. A soft sigh of contentment and I drifted off to sleep wrapped in the protective circle of Jake's arms.

* * *

"Dammit," I muttered as I tried to brush my hair.

My wrist was bothering me again and it was making brushing my hair rather difficult. I gave a squeak of surprise when the brush was taken from my hand. Jake was standing behind me; only moments ago he had been snoring. He grinned and started brushing my hair for me. I smiled a little, watching him work on untangling my hair without hurting me. I tried not to laugh at the serious concentration on his face.

I couldn't resist teasing him a little. "Can you pull it up into a ponytail, too?"

He obliged, making me giggle, as the ponytail ended up a little lopsided. I left it go. I made French toast for breakfast and I ended up perched on his lap as we ate.

We made quick work of breakfast, and I leaned back comfortably against him. He nuzzled his nose behind my ear. "Bells, do you want to go to Port Angeles today?" he asked.

I turned to look at him. "I'd love to get out of the house again, but it isn't safe is it?"

"Well, we'll take precautions. I'll see if one or two of the guys will go and patrol the area. The rest will stay here and keep an eye on Charlie and everyone else. And of course we won't be in any unpopulated areas."

I bit my lip, but agreed readily. He called to find out if anyone would be willing to patrol in the Port Angeles area and I called Charlie at work to let him know where I was going. I had to promise multiple times I would be careful. I left Qahla with Angela for the day; I didn't want Qahla to be alone either and I knew Angela's brothers' would enjoy playing with her.

Even with everything going on I was so glad to be going somewhere. When we got there we just walked around checking things out. I used the walking stick Jake gave me and held onto his arm. My leg still hurt a little, but it felt good to exercise it. After awhile we came across that little bookstore I had stopped in awhile back. I looked up at him, raising my eyebrows, and he laughed.

"Yes, we can go in," he said with an exaggerated sigh, and I gave him a little shove.

Oddly I felt at home in this bookstore. Jake followed me as we meandered our way through. I found a couple more books I wanted that were on sale and continued to browse. Jake found a book on Native crafts and was looking at the wooden carvings, so I just continued on my way. As I browsed my way back up front, I saw the sign that proclaimed they were hiring. I got excited immediately; it was near the end of July and I was going to need to start job-hunting soon anyway.

I noticed the same woman that seemed to be in charge the last time I was here, so I went over to her. "Excuse me?" I questioned quietly as she helped the girl behind the café counter heft a platter of sandwiches onto the counter.

She brushed a wispy curl of brown hair out of her eyes and looked up with a friendly smile. "Hi. Can I help you?"

"Yes, I just saw the sign that you're hiring? I'd like to fill out an application."

She came out from behind the counter and her eyes widened at the sight of me. "Oh my," she murmured. "What happened to you, hon?"

I glanced down at my make-shift walking stick and felt my cheeks warm a little. "I was… attacked… by an animal," I said quietly.

"You poor thing. I'm sorry," she apologized. "I didn't mean to pry."

I assured her it was okay. I sensed she asked me out of concern, and oddly enough, caring and not nosiness.

She handed me an application. "Do you have any managerial experience?" she asked.

I bit my lip, not realizing that's what the job was for. "No," I said honestly. I decided to forge ahead, though. "I know it's not job experience, but I did do my mother's bookkeeping, so I have some experience with that. I'm a fast learner, too."

She hesitated, but nodded. "Fill out the application. I do have some time to do a short interview with you."

I glanced over and saw Jake was still reading, so I sat down and filled out the application. She sat with me when I was finished. "My name is Melanie Roth, the owner of Heavenly Scents Bookstore & Café," she said reaching out to shake my hand.

"Bella Swan," I replied. I sat there trying to look calm and professional as she read over my application.

"Well, Bella, you are a bit younger than I would normally consider for a manager position, especially since you don't have job experience in that field," she said finally and I felt my hope deflate.

She smiled gently, moss green eyes understanding. "But I'm still willing to hear you out. Tell me a bit about yourself," she encouraged me.

I told her about my upbringing, how I became the one to cook and clean and pay a number of the bills. I made sure not to brag, but I told her I worked hard in school and that I would eventually like to major in English Literature. She grinned at my exuberance when I told her about how much I loved to read. She listened attentively to me as I told her about my experience working at Newton's Outfitters and what I did there.

When I began to wind down, she smiled. "Well, Bella, I must say you're quite a young woman. That's a lot for a teenager to deal with, but you certainly don't seem to mind handling responsibility."

I couldn't help the hopeful smile on my face. She chuckled. "I will need a reference from your current job, so you can email, fax, or mail it to me." She wrote down her information. "My current manager is relocating with her husband, but it won't be until the end of August. I have a few more interviews lined up, but I am willing to keep you in mind for this position. You have a good knowledge of the classics; that seems to fall by the wayside with some people. You also seem to have a good sense of responsibility and a definite willingness to work, so that works in your favor."

She stood up and I followed suit. She held her out to me, and I shook it. "Send me your references, and I'll be in touch with you."

I felt Jake come up behind me and saw Melanie's eyes widen in surprise. I slipped my hand into Jake's and smiled. "This is my boyfriend Jacob," I said. "Jake, this is Melanie Roth, the owner of the store. We just had an interview for a position I'm interested in."

If he was surprised, he didn't show it. He just graciously shook her hand. "Nice to meet you," he said giving her the full-on, sunny Jacob smile which immediately brought out a smile from her.

"You too," she replied. "Well, I need to get back to work, but it was nice meeting you Bella and Jacob."

I paid for my purchases and once outside Jake turned to me. He looked a little pensive, but happy for me. "You okay?" I asked, swinging our hands a little.

"Yeah. I guess it makes me worry a little seeing you about to move on to a different phase of your life when I'm not moving with you."

"Oh Jake," I chided. "That hardly matters. You're going to live with me part-time until you're out of school, so don't worry."

He grinned happily. "Good. A place of our own is definitely something I want," he said, his grin turning lascivious.

I laughed. "Come on lets get something to eat."

We got containers of soup and sandwiches and since the weather was still holding out, I took him to the grassy spot where I had been with my friends' for the concert. There were a number of people out enjoying the relatively dry day, so we found a comfortable spot to eat.

Just as twilight began to fall, we headed back to the truck. I glanced up at the people milling about and frowned as a trickle of unease slithered down my spine when I saw a man shuffling along with other people. He was set off to the side a bit, obviously not with anyone; in fact people seemed to be giving him a wide berth. His long dark hair was tangled and covered his face, he wore ripped shorts and a t-shirt, and he moved with an oddly smooth and quick gait for someone who wasn't really moving that fast.

I noticed it all in a span of a few seconds and suddenly his face flashed to mine. His face was sharp, almost animalistic, his eyes lit strangely by the weak, fading sunlight. His lips curved into a facsimile of a smile, his teeth white and sharp. Feral sprang to mind.

Jake must've felt something for suddenly he jerked around and stared at the man, but he disappeared from view as fast as he had come into it. I was nearly stunned into silence, but I snapped out of it when Jake's body tensed and began to shake in fury. I could hear the growls deep in his chest.

"Jake, no," I whispered, completely shaken by that brief encounter. "There are too many people. Please… just take my home. Charlie and Qahla…" I trailed off as worry gnawed at me.

He slid into the truck immediately after urging me in and hurried out of the lot as fast as my truck would allow. He kept me tucked into his side, his hand occasionally stroking my hair as if to reassure himself that I was okay.

"What was that?" I murmured.

His jaw tightened. "It wasn't a vampire, I know that. It smelled too… earthy. It felt like an animal," he whispered. "There's something too familiar about it. I _will_ figure this out," he said his voice stiff.

I didn't want to ask any more questions. I felt too disturbed by it all, so I just huddled into Jake's warm side and prayed we would be home soon.

* * *

I climbed into my bed, exhausted, glad that Charlie and Qahla were here with me safe and sound. I was getting close to pleading with Jake not to leave. I didn't want him out there; I didn't want _any_ of them out there.

He stretched out next to me on my bed. His fingers twined with my hair as his lips pressed against my temple, my cheek, and my lips. "I won't be out that long, Bella," he murmured against my lips.

"You're just trying to distract me," I murmured back, not quite ready to stop kissing him.

I felt him smile. "A little. Is it working?"

"Well, I still don't want you to leave."

He rubbed his thumb along my jaw. "How about I stay until you fall asleep? Then two members of the packs will be guarding the house until I can come back and stay with you the rest of the night."

I had gotten used to him staying with me – and although I knew I couldn't milk it too much longer with Charlie – I wasn't ready to give that up. I didn't want to be a completely dependent wimp, though, so I just nodded. He wrapped his arms around me and I felt him press against me from behind. I snuggled back into him, trying to purge my mind of all that had happened, and let thoughts of us lull me to sleep.

My dreams were thankfully vague and blurry, so while my sleep was a little restless, I slept through until I felt Jake slide back into bed with me hours later.

"Jake?" I mumbled pressing closer to him. "S'okay?"

"Yeah, honey. Go back to sleep." I felt his lips press gently against my eyelids as I drifted back to sleep again.

I was pulled out of a deep sleep later when I felt Jake's body jerk against mine. My eyes snapped open; I was fuzzy and confused. Hours had passed since he came back to bed. It was nearly 6 a.m.

"Jake… wha…?" I managed to mumble.

Then we heard the cacophony of howls coming from somewhere close in the forest. Jake flew out of bed to the window, as I sat up with a jerk, fear paralyzing me there. Jake turned to me, fear for me and wanting to protect his pack and friends warring on his face. "Jake…" I didn't know how to finish the sentence.

Charlie threw his door open; Jake looked at me. "I'll be right back," he whispered.

He jerked past Charlie as he appeared in my doorway, rumpled and fear etched across his face. "Get your gun and stay here with Bella," Jake said as he disappeared.

"Jake where the hell are you going?!" Charlie yelled. "Dammit!" He disappeared for a few seconds and was back with his Glock.

I was at the window, straining to see something, hoping that Jake was okay. My stomach was shaking, my teeth were chattering, and I was scared out of my wits. Charlie was alternating between being pissed and scared, but his gun hand was steady. He wrapped his other arm around me, holding me tightly against him.

"Shit, what am I doing?" he grumbled. "Need to call the station… still half-asleep…" he continued muttering as he went to get the phone.

Suddenly the door slammed shut and I jumped in surprise. I flew past Charlie to the top of the stairs, jerking to a stop, suddenly unsure of going downstairs. "Jake?" I whispered, my voice trembling in fear.

"It's me, Bells," he whispered back coming up the stairs. I nearly fell down the stairs in my haste to get to him. He caught me and held me tight.

"What the hell do you have to say for yourself, Jacob?" Charlie growled angrily. "You don't go outside to confront whatever the hell was making that racket! You leave that up to the professionals." His mouth was in a tight line and his jaw was clenched.

"Charlie, I'm sorry. I panicked and I wanted to make sure Bella was safe. I didn't go far," he whispered remorsefully.

Charlie berated him for a few more minutes and then muttered something about having to get ready for work. Jake and I lay back on my bed, his arms tight around me, and kept quiet. After Charlie left, he ushered me downstairs and the pack made their way into the house. My mouth dropped open; Jared's face had a few nasty gashes, Seth's arm looked like it had been bent wrong, and Paul was limping.

They were all quiet as they sat down in the living room. Kim and Emily were with them now and they herded me into the kitchen. "But… they're hurt. I have to give them something to…"

"They'll be okay," Emily said quietly. "They just need a chance to heal. Come on, let's just get something to eat."

Emily and I had started buying extra food for these occasions so we pulled out boxes of cereal, spoons, bowls, and milk and took it in. After everything had been eaten, I saw the cuts had mostly healed on everyone and Seth's arm looked straighter.

"It was Victoria and the wolves," Sam said quietly. My eyes widened; they _were_ wolves? What the hell did that mean?

"Victoria tried to get to your house, but we stopped her," he continued. "Unfortunately she got away. _Again_. Jared managed to rip part of her arm off, though, in the process. We couldn't go after her because the wolves came out of nowhere and attacked us. We barely managed to fend them off."

The seconds ticked by as that sank in. I couldn't believe it. I thought all the wolves were supposed to be _protectors. _"It was more Quileute wolves that attacked all of you? That attacked me and Charlie?"

Paul rubbed a hand over his face. "It can't be Quileute wolves. They aren't designed that way. It gave us a scare, too, but this is something else. Something evil."

They discussed the clues; the human bone lodged in the tree, the mixed prints of human and animal, the attacks that happened so fast on me and Charlie that we never got a good look, the fact that I thought I saw the russet fur of Jake as a wolf when I went into the woods, and the man from yesterday in Port Angeles.

They all looked worn out, and I felt terrible knowing most of them would be out again today. The meeting broke up quickly afterward; they wouldn't take too much time away from the forest. Leah was going to take Kim and Emily home and then join up with them. Jake sat at the kitchen table after they left, staring down with a frown of concentration.

I laid my hand on his shoulder, scared for him and our friends', angry that this was putting them at risk.

Jake's head snapped up. "I know what it is," he gasped.

* * *

Too many things happened at once. Jake stared at me, his eyes glazed over as whatever he remembered hit him. My mind was a jumbled mess of emotion, my breath caught somewhere in my lungs, unable to escape.

My mind was trying to protect itself by flashing images of me and Jake in Florida together, wrapped around each other in bed, riding on his back in wolf form, walking on the beach hand in hand.

As this was all happening, the doorbell began to ring incessantly and I heard the door slam open.

"Bella?!" a distinctly familiar clear-as-a-bell voice called out. The sound was sweet and melodic.

I knew instinctively. I whirled around in utter disbelief to find Alice and Carlisle standing in the doorway of the kitchen, staring at me. Emotions ripped through me like a tidal wave; anger, happiness, regret, elation, and uncertainty. It was just one shock after another this morning. I stood there, staring back at them, unsure of how to react. Jake had stiffened behind me.

"Carlisle? Alice?" I questioned faintly not knowing what to do.

Alice stepped forward, making my decision for me, as she wrapped her strong, ice-cold arms around me. I laid my head on her cold shoulder; she still had a sweet smell, though it was fainter for me. We all stood there; Carlisle off to the side and close to Alice. Jake was close behind me, his body emanating anger and fear, while Alice and I stood in the middle of the kitchen in an embrace. We were in our own play and all of us were completely uncertain of our next line.

* * *

**A/N: I know, I know… I'm leaving it with unanswered questions again! But at long last you WILL find out next chapter what it is. Cross my heart. Haha.**

*****Been brought to my attention about M-rated fics being pulled. As far as I know it's more graphic fics that are being targeted. I believe mine is within TOS guidelines. But just in case I will make an LJ and post it in the next chapter as a back-up place to put the story if something were to happen.*****


	27. Fear

**Just letting you know putting the AN below… a couple things mentioned (contest, the creature in the story, and where my fic will be backed up), so I thought I'd let you read first and then check it out if you want. **

* * *

I finally pulled away from Alice and just drank in the sight of her. God, I had forgotten how beautiful she was; Carlisle as well. Alice's hair had wilted a little it seemed, but her clothes remained impeccable. I was strongly aware of Jake behind me and I felt him pulling away.

Hurriedly I turned around and reached out to him. "Please don't go," I whispered, feeling my words were futile when I saw the anger etched over his face. It wasn't directed at me; he was staring straight at Alice and Carlisle.

His eyes met mine and the anger melted away to show his uncertainty and pain. His body began to shake. Carlisle's eyes widened as he watched Jake struggle to regain control. "You're one of the Quileute wolves," he said in surprise.

Jake glared at him balefully, tremors still rippling over his arms. "And you're a vampire. Bella, we have to go," he said. "It's not safe here."

I tried to move toward him, but something was holding me back. Alice's small, white hand was on my arm. I looked back at her and saw her mouth had tightened into a flat line and she was watching Jake with a mixed look of disgust – her perfect nose wrinkled - and worry. "I don't think it's very safe with him either, Bella," she said distinctly.

A snarl ripped from Jake and the tremors got worse. "Who the hell do you think you are?" His voice was bitter and furious. "I was the one who was here for her. Where the fuck were _you_?" I heard a whimper and saw Qahla cowering behind the armchair in the living room.

I nudged at Alice's hand so she would let me go. She tensed and began to pull me behind her.

"All right, that's enough," Carlisle said his voice calm.

"Alice, please stop," I said at the same time.

I gave her a quick smile trying to reassure her I wanted to talk to her, but that I needed to go to Jake. I moved toward him and gently ran my hands up his tense arms. I then reached up and took hold of his chin, urging him to look down at me.

"Its okay, Jake," I said quietly. "They won't hurt me."

I stayed next to him, winding my arms around him and laying my head on his chest. I felt his body begin to release some of the tension. Alice's face was now blank and smooth as she watched us. He began backing us toward the door. I motioned for Alice and Carlisle to hold on and let Jake lead me outside.

His brow was furrowed in worry and irritation. "Bella, I need to get back to the reservation. Come with me," he said cupping my cheek in his hand.

I leaned my face into his hand. "Jake, I need to find out what's going on, why they are here. I _will_ come after that."

His lips tightened. "Bella, they're vampires. I can't stay here to protect you; you need to be in La Push for me to be able to do that. I don't trust them alone with you."

I took his hand and kissed his palm. "Jake, the Cullens' don't hurt people; they definitely won't hurt me. I'll even ask them to follow as far as they're allowed to make sure I get onto the Quileute land safely. And I promise I will come as soon as I'm done talking to them."

I could tell he wasn't happy, but he nodded. "Fine. Call me when you're coming," he said stiffly as he got into his car. I motioned for him to roll his window down. When he did I leaned in and touched my lips to his, kissing him softly.

When I pulled away his jaw was still a little tight, but his eyes had softened. He brushed his fingers over my jaw. "I love you," he said.

"I love you, too."

* * *

I sat backwards on the kitchen chair while Carlisle examined my back. All three of us were pretty quiet while he did so. His cold fingers felt good against the itchy skin of my back. I saw Qahla peering into the kitchen now and again, not making her presence known. She seemed to sense there was something different about our visitors.

"Well, Bella, you're healing nicely. The stitches in your back and your leg have dissolved already. Dr. Snow did a great job with you." He pulled a bottle of cream out of his bag and handed it to me.

I smiled gratefully at him. "Thanks. I was getting low on this."

He tested the flexibility of my leg. I winced as he did; apparently my leg wasn't fully healed yet. "Your leg just needs a little physical therapy which you can do on your own. Do what you can, don't overdo it, and it should heal soon."

"Thanks Carlisle," I said. I cleared my throat; we needed to talk and we had been putting it off while Carlisle checked me over.

"So… what exactly made you come back? Did, um, anyone else come with you?" I asked quietly, picking at my nails.

"I'll let you talk to Alice," Carlisle said in his calm, easygoing way. "I'll talk to you a little later." He gave me a quick hug and was out the door.

Alice offered me her hand and helped me into the living room. I leaned my head on her shoulder and she sighed, slipping an arm around me. Whatever the reason for her being here, no matter how annoyed I might have been about the Cullens' departure, I was glad to see her. Before I could ask her my question again, Qahla came out from behind the armchair.

Alice glanced down at her, quirking her eyebrows. "I thought I smelled and heard a dog in here. You have a dog?" she asked.

"Yes," I replied. "This is Qahla. Jake gave her to me when I graduated." I watched Qahla creep over, jerking back now and again in uncertainty, before she made it to my feet. She sniffed Alice's leg and caught her off guard as she jumped onto the couch between us.

Alice laughed in surprise and slowly offered her hand to be sniffed. Qahla seemed a little put off by Alice's smell, but she licked her hand anyway. "Well, well, this little one is unique. I don't think I've ever pet a dog before." She carefully rubbed her hand over Qahla's head and Qahla plopped herself right down onto her lap. I couldn't help giggling at the incredulous expression on Alice's face.

Shaking her head, a small smile twitched at the corners of her mouth. She continued to carefully rub her hand over Qahla. She laid her other cold hand on my back when she saw me wince and try to rub my back gently against the sofa.

The cold penetrated through my shirt and eased the ache. I smiled gratefully at her. "Can you leave it there?" I asked in a tiny voice. She laughed and left it there. Then she grew serious again.

"Bella, just Carlisle and I came because I saw you hurt. We didn't really get to talk to anyone else. I'm sorry for how everything turned out, though. We left as a favor to Edward; to make a clean break and to give you a chance at a normal life. If we had any idea of the danger we were leaving you with…"

I bit my lip, unsure of how I felt about Edward not showing up. "You shouldn't have left like that, any of you," I said quietly but with an edge of steel in my voice. "Didn't you see me in any of your visions? It was _so_ hard to move on properly; I'm not sure I ever could have done it without Jake's help. Even _with_ his help I wasn't doing so well. I finally decided to try harder for Jake, for Charlie, for my friends and then I was able to move on. It still hurts a little, though."

Alice's lip quivered and she looked up at me. "I never stopped thinking of you, Bella. We thought you were safe, but we were wrong. Visions of you were very vague. There were a lot of times where I couldn't see you at all; I could only see slight images when you were with Charlie or a friend from school. I never knew about Jacob."

I sat there, listening to her, feeling that little ache in my stomach that had never fully went away. She looked forlorn, so I let her take my hand and gave her a small smile.

"It might have something to do with him being a Quileute werewolf. I never saw him," she said, frowning thoughtfully.

I questioned her about her whereabouts and she told me that Carlisle and Esme had been moving to war-torn and weather-ravaged countries to assist with medical and social service needs. She said she and Jasper spent some time together in various countries before they ended up helping Carlisle and Esme. She described the squalor of those countries and how she could see why Carlisle became a doctor. He treated everyone so well and because of his skill and vampire strengths he was able to help a lot of people and make a difference in their lives; she said the same with Esme. Everyone felt comfortable talking with her once they got over the initial surprise of them being so white and always in the dark.

Rose and Emmett had gone on another honeymoon. They made a brief appearance now and again with the others. She hesitated in talking about Edward; she told me the briefest facts. He wasn't in touch very often. She said he was moving from place to place, too, but only called once every month or two. He took no phone calls.

When she finished talking, she sighed, stretching her legs out in front of her. "If we had any idea of the danger, Bella…" she trailed off.

"Victoria is still around and so are other vampires I think she turned. I still don't know what the added danger is. They're wolves, but that's all I know." Suddenly I remembered that Jake had figured it out.

"Jacob knows what it is, though. He figured it out the moment before you and Carlisle got here!" I exclaimed.

Her eyes widened. "Victoria?! We came because I finally got an image of you hurt. We were in Afghanistan which is why we weren't here sooner. I had no idea it was her! We spoke with Edward awhile ago and all he said was Victoria was dead!"

We stared at each other in surprise.

"Why would he say that?" I asked uncertainly.

She frowned. "I don't know. He's been pretty quiet about what he's been doing."

"Alice? Are you going to be here for awhile?" I asked quietly, my stomach doing a nervous jig at her impending answer. I had missed her a great deal and while I wanted to go to Jake, I wanted to know if she would still be here.

She nodded. "We'll still be here," she reassured me. "We need to get in touch with Esme, Rose, Jasper and Emmett."

I told her I needed to get to the reservation, so I called Jake. No one answered, so I left him a quick message saying I was heading down there. I needed to know what was going on. Alice rode with me in the truck, with Qahla tucked between us, until I reached the invisible line that blocked her from entering onto Quileute land.

She hopped lightly out of the truck. "I'll talk to you soon, Bella. Tell us what you find out and be sure to let the werewolves know we're willing to help if they can accept that." Her offer was sweet even though her nose wrinkled with disgust as she said it.

I waved to her as I drove down the bumpy path. I swallowed hard as I parked, ready to face the wolves after visiting with my vampire friends.

* * *

**JPOV:**

I sat in the car after Bella went back into the house waiting tensely to see if any of the other Cullen leeches had arrived with the little pixie and the doctor. My teeth were gritted tightly as I hoped and prayed that Edward hadn't shown up. Bella was doing her best to show me that nothing between us was changing even though it still bothered me she wanted to stay and talk to them. It made sense to find out why they were here all of a sudden, but that little one pissed me off by holding Bella back – as if I'd _ever_ hurt her.

After I satisfied myself that no one else was around, I drove back to the reservation. My head was immediately full again of what I had figured out. The leeches had pushed that right out with their untimely arrival, but all the clues came crashing back to me. I knew something had seemed familiar to me, and I now recalled with perfect clarity the stories my mom had told me.

As soon as I got home, I slipped quietly into the woods and phased. I heard Sam and Jared discussing strategy in my head; everyone else was in human form.

_Sam, I know what it is. And a couple of the Cullens' are back. We all need to meet._

I felt the shock coming from them loud and clear. _You know what it is??_ Jared practically yelled at me. _And the leeches are back?_

_Yes. I want us all together before we get into it. Meet at my house… and soon_.

I phased back and went into the house. It was quiet, so I knew Billy was probably with Sue. I paced around the house, my nerves jittery. Focusing was something that kept eluding me; my mind kept drifting back to Bella and what was going on. The doctor was the main reason I left. He unnerved me with his uncanny ability to make me feel as if he were completely trustworthy. I had seen the depth of caring in his eyes, and I knew instinctively he truly cared about Bella.

I was incredibly worried about Edward showing back up, though. Bella and I had gotten so close to each other in the past months; I loved her more than anything, and I knew she truly loved me, but I felt the old insecurities welling up. She had been so devastated when the Cullens' left, I couldn't help but feel scared what would happen now that just a couple had returned. But returned for what?

There was a knock on the door and Quil and Embry arrived, followed by Seth and Leah. It wasn't long after that everyone arrived with their imprints in tow. Everyone was talking at once, wanting to know what I discovered and why the Cullens' were here, but I was holding out hope that Bella would be coming. She said she would, but I couldn't help feeling a bit insecure about that.

"I don't know why the Cullens' are here yet," I said after the noise ceased a little. "Bella said she'll be here; she'll tell us why."

Sam looked a little uncomfortable. "Are you sure? I mean…" he trailed off when I turned to look at him.

"She'll be here," I said quietly.

"Jake…" Jared said looking a little worried. "We can trust Bella still, right? I mean she was close to all of those bloodsuckers. I just want to make sure."

I snapped my head toward him, feeling the anger bubbling to the surface. I nearly flung the television remote at his head, but Leah's hand was restraining. I let her hold me back because I really didn't want to get into this.

"Jake, calm down," she said quietly. "Bella's gotten close to a number of us; it's not that we really think she'll turn traitor, but it's a fair question. Some of us don't know her as well or know what her relationship to the Cullens' was like in its entirety."

I sucked in a deep breath and nodded. "Bella would never do that," I responded in a bitter tone. I went into the kitchen to calm down. I turned and saw the message light blinking on the answering machine. Just as it began to play, I heard Bella's truck on the gravel path. I went outside to wait for her. A feeling of relief washed over me when she pulled up and parked; seeing that she was safe was all that mattered in that moment.

Still I held myself back a little; some of the leech smell had faded off of her, but I could still catch a faint whiff of it. I was also trying to guard myself against anything she might say that was going to upset me.

"Jake," she murmured as she came over to me. Her beautiful, soulful eyes were fixed on mine. I swallowed hard.

I could see her hesitating, unsure of how I would react. I wanted to wrap my arms around her, hold her so tightly she'd never be able to leave me, but I held back.

"Bells, everyone is inside," I said. "There's a lot we need to cover and some concerns the packs have."

I turned to go in, but I felt her small hand touch my arm, then slide down until our palms touched and she curled her fingers around mine. I closed my eyes, feeling some of the pressure ease. She gently tugged my hand up and I felt her lips slide over my knuckles. A small sigh escaped my lips; I gave her hand a slight squeeze in response and we went in to face the music together.

Everyone was pretty quiet when we walked in, and I felt Bella shrink a little closer. She bit her lip and straightened up, though, when Sam asked her directly about the Cullens' being back. I tried to keep my irritation at bay while she explained they came because of a vision Alice had about her. They came because they wanted to make sure she was okay and because it was obvious something was going on that they hadn't been aware of.

"They won't break the treaty, right?" Paul asked dryly.

"No, they wouldn't do that," Bella said quietly. "They said to tell you since we all want the same thing – to get rid of these wolves and nomad vampires – that they would be willing to help on their side of the line."

I frowned. They were willing to help?

Sam and I glanced at each other. I opened my mouth to say no, but Bella knew me too well. "Just think about it, okay?" she beseeched me.

I really didn't want to think about it; I wanted to say no for no other reason except they were our enemies, but Bella's eyes were fixed on mine. She trusted them. It didn't mean I had to trust them, but I trusted Bella. I wavered back and forth.

"Fine, but don't expect any miracles," I muttered.

Now that we got that out of the way, they all turned to me expectantly. I drew forth my mother's stories and tried to remember what I could.

"So, what is it, Jake?" Quil asked quietly.

"They're the Navajo Yenaldlooshi," I replied, recalling the Navajo legend my mother told me and Rachel a long time ago.

Rachel's eyes widened in shock as she remembered. "That was just a legend," she whispered.

Everyone gaped at me. Bella stared at me, confused. "They're skin walkers," I added quietly.

Sam began pacing the living room, his brow furrowed in worry.

Everyone here knew a little bit about this legend except for Bella. I explained how the skin walkers were very similar to us, to shape shifters. The difference was that skin walkers were witches and were said to obtain the powers of a skin walker by killing an immediate member of their family. They could lure people out of the house by morphing into something that person would recognize as safe. I told her they could enter a person's house if they chose to and that when in human form their eyes glowed like an animal and that they were fast and agile.

Everyone was deathly silent when I wound down. Bella's eyes were frozen on the floor. "I saw his eyes," she whispered. "I thought it was just the sun, but he was there and gone so fast, it could have just been the way they were."

Her whole body shuddered and I wrapped my arms around her tightly.

Embry was gnawing on his lip. "I don't understand. Skin walkers can enter a person's house; well, I hate to say this, but why didn't he – or they – enter Bella's house?"

I felt that shiver of fear slide up my spine at how many times Bella had been alone. Fear had me tightening my arms around her even more as I felt her shaking.

"I don't know," I mumbled unsure of everything. "That must be how they lured you out, though, by resembling me in wolf form."

Leah looked up from where she sat, arms dangling between her legs. "They don't typically work well with others. Nor do they often attack anyone that's non-native. It makes sense for them to go after us, I guess, but they must be working with Victoria which I don't really get," she said, her jaw tight.

Quil had begun pacing, his brow furrowed deeply, mumbling something to himself. "Quil, man, you okay? What's going on?" I asked him nervously.

His eyes widened. "My grandfather," he murmured.

* * *

**BPOV:**

Quil explained how a few months back he had went to visit Old Quil and had found him sitting quietly in his house, clearly in a deep state of meditation. He had small brown pouches nearby that he had apparently made that Quil said he believed were medicine pouches.

Sam's eyes widened. "Damn, I had never even thought about that. Old Quil is a medicine man," he explained to me. "They're said to have their own powers; healing and protective powers. Medicine pouches can be worn or kept in a space you want safe."

I glanced around the room in shock at all the information. Rachel, Kim, and Emily looked shell-shocked and the pack looked amazed.

"We're going to visit Old Quil," Jake said quietly.

We walked there since it wasn't very far. I tried to process all the information, but it seemed unfathomable. Even though I dated a vampire and was dating a wolf, all kinds of things I hadn't believed true were coming true and now there were things I knew nothing about. I gazed around as the sun tried to peek through the thick clouds, casting a soft, pale glow on the grass.

The wind blew my hair around. A bird sang somewhere nearby.

It almost didn't seem right to hear or to feel the things that made life normal when something like this was happening. We reached Old Quil's house and Quil entered first, alerting his grandfather to the group of us waiting outside. He came to the door then, waving us all in. His living room was completely covered by all of us within moments.

"Grandpa Quil, we figured out what's been going on, and I have to ask you a question," Quil said.

Old Quil sat still and quiet as he nodded his head for Quil to continue.

"What has been happening in the forest isn't just vampires as I believe you know. The Navajo Yenaldlooshi is also in the forest."

We all watched Old Quil closely. His only reaction was to furrow his brows. "Skin walkers? That is what has been haunting our lands?"

"Yes," Jake said. "They have attacked Charlie, attacked Bella and have killed a few hikers that we know of. The stories my mother told me, though, don't explain why they haven't been able to get in the house."

I shivered again at the thought of something in my house, near Charlie and me.

Quil swallowed uncomfortably. "I remember coming over here a few months ago when the attacks just started. You had been meditating and had medicine pouches. Have you…?" he trailed off.

Old Quil smiled slightly. "You came across me doing a protection spell. That is why they have not been able to enter homes. All of you received my protection from witchcraft as a precaution, so they have been unable to use their powers of mind control or to cast any illnesses on anyone. Charlie was in the woods already and Bella was tricked by them imitating what Jacob looked like to get her in the woods. They're warning all of you it seems."

He paused for a moment. We were all hanging on his every word.

"I don't particularly understand why they haven't just killed. I never knew them to work with anyone, but then again we know nothing of their connection to Victoria."

As we digested this bit of information, I stared at Old Quil in awe. He was a small, frail man but he single-handedly protected all of us just in case. He protected me and Charlie from an intrusion into my home, he protected the pack while they patrolled.

When they got all the information they needed we began to file out thanking Old Quil profusely. When I reached him, I took his hand in my shaky one. I barely knew him, but it didn't matter. Tears gathered in my eyes as his slightly milky eyes met mine.

"Thank you," I whispered in a choked voice. "I know it doesn't protect me from everything, but what you have done has kept our home a safe place, kept the people I love safe."

He smiled softly. "It's what I do, Bella. I'm glad it gives you a measure of peace knowing that. I sincerely believe the pack can stop this, so don't give up hope."

He gave my hand a squeeze and then I headed out to walk back to Billy's with Jake. The guys' took Kim, Emily, and Rachel home and the rest dispersed to gather forces to start the attacks. Jake got into the truck with me, holding me against him.

"I think we can push for one more night in staying together," I said quietly.

He nodded. At the house Jake and I ate the pizza Charlie brought home after work and tried to keep up a normal conversation with him. I called Alice's cell number that she left on the counter for me and explained what was going on. She didn't know much about it, but she said she would find out everything she could and would talk to me tomorrow. She asked if I wanted company and I hesitated, finally telling her that Jake was staying over with me.

Her tone was surprised. "Oh. Okay. Well, I'll just talk to you tomorrow then," she said, her voice promising an inquisition.

I had to smile at the normalcy of it; I knew she was doing that on purpose to keep me calm, but I could also tell she was curious. "I really did miss you, Alice," I said quietly.

"I missed you, too, Bella. Now get some sleep and we'll talk tomorrow."

Jake and I went upstairs early, neither of us in the mood to do anything but cuddle on my bed. He held me tightly, kissed me frequently, knowing I was upset about him going out to patrol later. I was glad knowing he was protected in some ways, though.

As I drifted off to sleep, Jake's voice was the last thing I heard.

"I _will_ keep you and Charlie safe. I love you, Bells."

* * *

**A/N: Okay, a few things…..**

**My story will be backed up on www[dot]twcslibrary[dot]com. Just search under authors for exquisitelyugly. To those I sent livejournal link, sorry! I think the twcslibrary is easier for me to use. Five chapters up so far!**

**Voting is still open until March 15****th**** for The 2009 Twilight Awards. If you want to vote go here: ****http://forum[dot]fanfiction[dot]net/forum/CuriosityKilled_The_Cat/69076/**** My story is under The Best Jacob and Bella Story and Best Emotional Breakdown though there are many categories and lots of good stories!**

**Lastly just a FYI… skin walkers aren't widely talked about by the Navajo, at least to non-natives, for fear of drawing one to them. There are some accounts of them out there and they are strictly pure evil. I had to toy around with it a little bit to make it work. Everything is true, from what I've read, except for the "holding back" part. I don't get that impression! But hey you never know. I liked that they were very similar to the Quileutes but their purpose is completely opposite. Hope this "creature" lived up to your expectations! I find it scary and fascinating and thought the native part of it worked well.**

**And that is it……… so click that little green button! I dare you! Haha. I would love to hear from old and new reviewers, even if it's just a one-liner!**


	28. Return

**A/N: As always, thank you to the reviewers I can't respond to personally. Don't always remember to post this, but do know that I appreciate it!**

"**Guess I'm ruled by my heart  
built a life and I tore it all apart  
It's just not our time  
but you'll find a new love, and you'll be fine**

So many dark and lonely nights  
but I believe someday I'll see the light

It's gonna be alright, baby  
Its gonna be alright, love"

**Ween – "It's Gonna Be (Alright)"**

* * *

I woke up the following morning with the nagging worry for my _human_ friends. Since Charlie had kept warning me to stay out of the woods, I decided a little mention of that to my friends would help curb any interest they might have in going hiking. During my shift I made sure to mention it to Mike.

"Hey Mike? We haven't all gotten together in awhile; do you think we could all go out to eat at the diner tonight?" I asked during a lull. I had been meaning to spend some time with them anyway so this would be perfect.

He grinned. "That sounds good to me! I'll call Eric and Jess, if you want to get a hold of Angela and Ben."

I agreed. I couldn't help laughing at Mike's antics as he pretended to dance with the mop that his mother had handed him. I was extremely glad we had moved past that awkward part of our friendship and could be real friends. He kept me entertained throughout the day until our shift was over.

I headed home right away, knowing Alice would be stopping by. I hurried upstairs to change after I called Angela and then marinated some chicken for dinner until she came. Alice grinned at me, all spiky hair and fancy clothes. Her eyes were a soft honeyed color. I hurried over to her and threw my arms around her neck.

She laughed. "We just saw each other yesterday, Bella."

"Yes, well, things were confusing yesterday," I mumbled against her shoulder. It was like having my face pressed into a rock.

She sat down on the couch, her eyes lighting up as Qahla again jumped up next to her. She shook her head. "You have a very quirky dog, Bella," she said as Qahla got comfortable.

She told me she and Carlisle had looked into skin walkers last night and that the only new thing they had found was that one way to kill them was to find out who the person was and say their name. In three days they would die.

I sighed. "I don't think that's really possible, Alice. They're native to Arizona, and I don't know how you would even go about finding out any of their names."

I explained what I knew about the medicine pouches and how Old Quil had protected our homes. She told me that she and Carlisle – who was volunteering at the hospital – had gotten a hold of the rest of the family minus Edward.

"Do you even want him to know?" she asked looking at me sideways.

I hesitated, unsure of my feelings. I was angry, hurt, sad, but I knew that I still cared. Having Edward here would be difficult to say the least; I didn't want Jake to get hurt.

"I'm not sure," I said quietly. "I guess he should know if his family is involved in something dangerous, but as for me, I just don't know." I stared at the television, remembering the time we watched "Romeo & Juliet" together, how he said he understood how Romeo felt. How he didn't want to live without me. I swallowed hard against the memory.

I felt a coolness seep into my arm and looked down at Alice's hand on me. Then I realized a few tears had slipped out; I brushed them away, knowing that how our relationship ended was what bothered me, that we had unfinished business.

"It's okay Bella. Whatever happens, though, I hope you know I'll always think of you as a sister. That won't ever change."

I smiled at her and laid my head on her shoulder. "Me too, Alice."

She was quiet for a moment, and then she gave me a nudge. I rubbed my ribs as she smirked. "So, even though you could do better than a _dog, _I see you not only helped yourself by moving on, but to moving forward in a relationship as well, hmm?"

I rolled my eyes.

"He's a good person, Alice; he's been an amazing friend to me. And yes, we furthered our relationship and he's amazing that way as well," I finished in a whisper, my cheeks heating.

She laughed softly. "I'll refrain from saying anything rude since I can see just how much you care about him. So is he an animal in bed, too?" She gave me a sneaky grin.

I couldn't help but laugh, too. "No comment," I said sticking my tongue out at her.

She sighed. "No fair."

"The only thing I'll say is that he's very attentive." She giggled at me.

I had missed the light bantering with her, so it was nice to have that again. She stayed a little longer, keeping me company until Charlie came home. I had forgotten he didn't know about Alice's return. He exclaimed over seeing her again – as much as Charlie could exclaim anyway.

"So, um, who's back with you?" We both knew he was trying to find out if Edward had come back.

"Just Carlisle," she answered. "Although I think most of us will be back in the next couple days."

"Just as long as _he_ stays away," he muttered on his way out of the room. "Welcome back, Alice. It's always good to see you."

After Alice left, I got ready to head out to the diner to meet everyone. We ate and joked around, laughing as Eric did impersonations of his boss for us. When they settled down, I told them the basics of what Charlie had said; that there were too many incidents in the woods and it was dangerous to go in there. They asked me a couple questions, but none of them seemed too eager to go into the woods for which I was grateful.

Later that night Jake came over and had to pretend he was leaving before doubling back to slip into my room undetected. I watched the pattern of tree branches dance over my wall in the moonlight as I told Jake what Alice had told me about killing a skin walker.

He nodded grudgingly. He seemed unhappy about admitting she was right. "Yes, but I think we're just going to have to rely on our strength and rip them apart. We don't have time to go traveling to find out their names."

I shuddered at the thought.

He wrapped his arms around me and yawned widely. I reached up and traced the light circles under his eyes. He looked so tired.

"Why don't you get some sleep while you can? You look exhausted; you need your rest." I brushed my thumb across his lips; lips that were tempting me with their soft pout and fullness. They were inviting me to lean in and kiss him, so I did.

"I am tired," he mumbled, pulling me in against his chest. I felt the press of his lips against the top of my head. "M'sorry Bells," he mumbled and only moments later he began snoring.

I contented myself with stroking his hair, trailing my fingertips over his eyelids, the bridge of his nose. I then snuggled into him and fell asleep.

* * *

**JPOV:**

Leaving Bella in the morning was something I hated. She looked so damn adorable in a deep sleep along with messy hair that I could just wrap myself around her and stay there for as long as possible. I knew that I wanted to spend all my mornings with Bella; waking up to her messy hair, her soft breathing, and her even softer skin. With that thought in mind, I grudgingly left her room after kissing those pink, pouty lips.

I took over the watch alert with Jared, Leah, and Embry. Embry and Jared were arguing over some bet they made, so I focused on Leah instead.

_So what's been going on with you lately? I haven't been paying enough attention; I'm sorry Lee._

She kept her nose trained to the ground. _Its okay, I know you've been busy._

I felt bad; I had missed talking to her. _That may be so, but I'm here for you, too, Lee._

_I know it's probably not the best time to be thinking about it, but I was thinking about once we get this all taken care of that I want to go to school. I actually requested a few forms to see if I can get into any of the schools I want._

I was surprised. I didn't realize she had wanted to go to school. _Oh yeah? That's great, Lee. Where at? _Suddenly I realized she could be moving away from me. I felt a little twist of panic at the thought. I was in love with Bella and wanted to be with her forever, but that didn't mean I wanted to lose Leah to a new state.

_Relax Jake,_ she sighed. _I'll probably stick to Port Angeles or another nearby town. I don't know that I want to – or could – be that far from you. But don't think I'm settling. I would rather stay here anyway._

_So what do you want to do?_

She yawned, flashing her razor-sharp teeth at me. _I actually think I want to get into the medical field. I realized helping Bella when all that went down that I was pretty good at being level-headed. Maybe be an EMT or maybe something in trauma; don't know for sure yet._

I snuffled under a branch. _That's… actually a really good idea, Lee. I think you would be really good at that._

She gave me a playful shove with her shoulder. We goofed around until we realized Jared and Embry had gotten quiet. On alert I swept the perimeter.

_I think there's something out here…_ Embry started to say but we were bombarded.

The skin walkers were fast, deranged, and I began to fight furiously with the one. My teeth connected with fur and I ripped furiously. I heard a snarl and felt another one crowd me. They both dove at me, tackling me to the ground. I nearly had gotten myself free when suddenly we were surrounded by newborn vampires.

Everything became crazy in that moment.

Leah let out a long, drawn-out, earsplitting howl to alert everyone; Embry and Jared were snarling and attempting to kill the newborns. I managed to sink my teeth into the one skin walker's leg and yank.

I heard a cry and looked over to see Embry being surrounded by newborns; it cost me as another newborn caught a hold of me in turn. I heard a crunch in my leg under its crushing grip and then found myself hurtling through the air. Dizzy, my leg barely able to move, my shoulder thrown out of its socket, I managed to stagger back up and saw our reinforcements had arrived. What was left of who attacked us took off into the forest.

I sank back down, the pain in my leg and shoulder getting worse. Leah, Jared, and Embry were all nursing wounds as well. Now that I had a second to think, I panicked. "Seth?" I called out. "Go make sure Bella is okay. Hurry!"

He took off as I lay there, trying to breathe through the pain and the panic.

* * *

**BPOV:**

It was my day off, so I decided to relax a little. I was laying on the couch reading with Qahla nestled against me when I heard banging on the front door. Qahla started barking and I dropped my book in surprise. I hurried to the front door and yanked it open.

"Seth?" I stared at him in surprise.

"Bella, um, I…" he hesitated, unsure of something. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay." He looked ill at ease and I felt a prick of unease.

"Seth, what is it? What's going on?" I demanded worriedly.

"Jared, Leah, Embry and Jake were attacked in the woods." Before he could even finish that sentence I went into a full-blown panic.

"What?!" I cried out. "Is he okay?! Please Seth, tell me he's okay. Take me to him now!"

Seth glanced down, shuffling his feet. "I shouldn't do that, Bella. He's hurt, but he'll be okay."

I tried to shove him out of the way so I could get through the door, but he gripped my arm and held me in place. His dark eyes were worried, but he seemed set on keeping me here, so I unleashed the only weapon I had against him to get him to take me to Jacob. I widened my eyes a little and let my lip tremble, pleading him with my eyes to relent.

"Please Seth?" I said pleadingly. "I need to see him." I ran my hand up his arm for extra effect.

He stared at my hand in surprise. "Bella, I have to get back, but you can't go with…"

He trailed off again and I could see his resolve wavering as I continued to plead with him with puppy-dog eyes. I felt bad about tricking him, but I _had_ to see Jake now; I had to make sure he was okay with my own eyes.

"Well… okay," he said reluctantly. "Hold on, though; it really is too dangerous to go far even if we are all there."

He turned and loped into the backyard. I hurried after him and watched as he let out a low noise to call the pack. After a few minutes there was movement in the woods near the house. Without giving it another thought I took off toward the sound. Seth caught me within seconds.

I froze just inside the tree line as I watched Quil heave Embry toward me. Leah was walking on her own, but she was limping pretty heavily especially since she was supporting Jake on one side. Sam was on the other side. My breathing was short as I stared at him. His one arm was dangling uselessly and his leg didn't look right. He also had a few nasty-looking gashes.

"Jake?" I whispered, my voice shaking.

"Bella?? What the hell are you doing in the woods? It's not safe out here!"

I swallowed hard at his tone. He winced as they lowered him to the ground. Paul moved over and pinned Jake down to the ground with Leah's help. Sam gripped his arm, pulling it out a bit.

"Wh-what are you doing?!" I choked out frantically.

Jake gritted his teeth and I watched as Sam yanked Jacob's arm until there was a slight popping sound. A yell ripped from Jake's throat, and he began spewing obscenities. If my stomach hadn't rolled at the popping sound, I might have been shocked at the language spilling from his mouth. Leah reached a hand out to me, tugging me over to them when I gave her mine.

Jake's eyes were closed and his breath was a bit labored. "Just keep him calm, okay? You're the best person to do that for him." She moved away and seemed to be looking for something.

Carefully I propped his head on my thighs. I stroked my fingers through his messy hair, gently rubbing circles over his temples, his forehead. He gave a small sigh and turned his head toward my hand as I moved it down to cup his cheek. Leah came back over with small, thick branches and Sam began to rip up his shirt to tie them to Jake's leg. Embry straightened Jake's leg while Leah tied the shirt pieces around.

Jake groaned painfully, so I began stroking his face softly again. "It'll be over in a minute, Jake," I whispered as I leaned over and pressed my lips to his forehead.

They got him up off the ground. "Bring him back to the house," I said. "It's closer; he can rest there as long as he needs. Anyone else is welcome to stay there, too," I offered.

It seemed everyone had been patched up as well as could be. Everyone opted to head home since they wanted to meet later to figure out an official attack plan, but Jake would stay with me. As I walked behind Jake, I saw him turn and glare at Seth.

"Next time don't let the puppy-dog eyes get to you," he growled in warning. He knew me too well, and I blushed and couldn't meet Seth's eyes.

Once inside and everyone had left to go home, I threw blankets and pillows down on the sofa for Jake and ordered him to lie down and rest. He rolled his eyes at me. "I'm fine, Bella. Yes, it hurts, but it'll heal quickly enough."

"I don't care. Lay down," I ordered. He did and tugged me down onto his chest.

He wiggled his eyebrows at me. "Yes bossy," he teased. "Now _this_ kind of laying down I can do!" he said.

I sighed, trying to hide my smile. "Jake, I don't want to hurt you. Now come on, just rest."

He carefully tucked me in next to him. "I'm fine, honey. You aren't touching my shoulder or my leg, so you can stay there." After careful scrutiny of his face to make sure he was being truthful, I rested my cheek on his chest. It wasn't long before he was snoring and I let the soft sound of his snores - and the beating of his heart - lull me to sleep.

* * *

I woke some time later and yawned. I propped myself up and tried to un-stick my shirt from my sweaty skin. Jake was beginning to stir as well, so I pressed my lips to his to wake him up.

"Mmmm," he murmured. "Now that's a good way to wake up."

I smirked. "How does your arm and leg feel?"

He tested it out by flexing them. I sat up, concerned, when he winced. "My shoulder seems to have healed. My leg hurts a little, but I think it's mostly mended. It seems they got the splint on just in time before my leg healed the wrong way."

He got up and I watched anxiously as he carefully stood. He limped his way across the room. "This will do," he said. "I just have to be a little careful until it's fully healed. It should be fine by tomorrow." He glanced at the clock. "Damn, it's getting late. We're going to need to get back to the reservation."

I left Charlie a note letting him know where I would be and that there were leftovers in the fridge for dinner. "Jake, I should let Alice know what happened. They _are_ here to help," I said quietly. "Could you drop me off at the Cullen's' on the way back to the reservation? I'll meet up with you right after."

He abruptly looked annoyed, but kept his tone in check. "Do you have to go there? Can't you call?"

I sighed. "I think if the rest of the Cullen's are coming, they might be here by now, so I wanted to stop and see them if that's the case."

He rolled his eyes, but before I could react, I saw the hurt. I moved over to him and took his hands, tugging them around my back. "Jake, I care about them, you know that. I'm coming to you right after, though. I love you." I pressed my lips to the bare skin of his chest; right over his heart.

"All right, but I'm staying there with you. At a distance, but I'm staying."

I rolled my eyes back at him this time.

When we got to the Cullens' I noticed there were more cars. Alice came bounding out the doorway and was in front of me before I could blink. She threw her arms around me. "Bella!" she sang. "Good timing. I was going to call you to let you know that everyone just got here."

Jake's nose wrinkled and he narrowed his eyes at her. She gently tugged me toward her, glaring at Jacob. Everyone else had come out of the house and I felt a grin spread over my face. "Bella!" Esme said with a big grin. I hurried over to her and she gave me a hug. "It's so _good_ to see you again!"

"You too," I said happily. Jasper gave me a smile and a nod, but he kept his distance. Rose just nodded her acknowledgement, but I wasn't expecting anything else. Emmett grabbed me up in a bear hug and spun me around until I was nearly dizzy.

"We came as soon as we heard," Emmett said with a big grin. "Can't wait to get this rumble going!" he added cheerfully.

I just shook my head as I moved back toward Jake, feeling that loss too deeply. I frowned as I realized he was leaning away from me. When I turned to look at him, his face was scrunched up. I just sighed.

"It'll be sooner rather than later," Jake said in a disgruntled tone.

Everyone just looked at him. Jasper's face was cold as he responded. "Did something else happen?"

"They tried to attack us earlier today," Jake muttered.

"That's why you're limping?" Rose said, curling her lip in disdain. "Great protectors," she muttered.

Jake's face went from disgusted to livid.

"Rose!" Carlisle's voice was sharp. I responded at the same time. "It wasn't the whole pack," I snapped. "A few of them were ambushed. They kept me safe, didn't they?" I could feel Jake's body trembling, so I slid my hand into his and squeezed.

Alice sighed. "We're going to have to work together on this whether we like it or not. Why don't you talk to your pack, Jacob and get back to us. We can go from there. As for Bella, if you aren't in Forks when she is, there's no need to worry; we'll be keeping an eye on her."

I smiled gratefully at her. Jake agreed that would be for the best and we left for La Push. "You stink, Bells," he said in a grumpy voice.

I tried not to laugh as I took my sweatshirt off and tossed it in the back. He pulled me closer as soon as I did.

When we got to Sam and Emily's I sat in the kitchen with Emily, Kim, and Rachel while the guys' discussed their strategy. I tried to focus on Emily bustling about her shiny kitchen, pulling sodas out of the refrigerator and passing them around. Her eyes looked strangely shiny as if she had been crying.

I leaned toward Kim while Emily gave sodas to the guys. "Is Emily okay?" I asked softly.

"She's having a hard time with this. She keeps on a brave face, but she's getting ready to start planning her wedding and they had actually started fixing up the spare room to turn it into a nursery. She's scared. We all are."

Rachel bit her lip. "It's still so hard to fathom…" she trailed off.

We all fell silent again, listening to the discussion. Apparently they were all going to go out in the woods to attack. The pack members that hadn't been hurt had been out scoping and think they had found a nest that belonged to some of the vampires. They would engage the vampires first since they were born to destroy them. When the skin walkers attacked, they were going to see if the Cullen's' could come out at that point. They wouldn't be expected and would have to be the element of surprise in the attack.

Once they got it all settled Jake had to head home. He wanted to make sure Billy didn't need anything, and he had a little bit of work to finish up before patrolling. He gave me a lingering kiss by the truck, gently pinning me to it with his body. I dipped my finger below the waistband of his pants and gave it a tug.

He smirked.

Then I felt his tongue trace the shell of my ear and I huffed out a small moan. "I'll see you later tonight. Please try not to worry; we'll _all_ be out," he murmured his lips still against my ear.

One more kiss and I was on my way back to Forks. He made me promise to alert Alice that I would be alone for awhile, so when I got home I gave her a quick call. Charlie was home, but he asked if I would be okay for a little while alone. He wanted to head out to the diner for a couple beers with some of his deputies. I told him it was fine and he promised he wouldn't be real long.

After he left, I let Qahla out to go to the bathroom. I sat on the steps, watching as she did her usual racing around the yard. I was leaning against the steps, watching the stars pop out in the sky as the weak sunlight began to fade. It was rare to be able to see the sky clearly enough through all the rain and clouds, so I was enjoying it. The air was getting cooler now, though, as the clouds drifted back over the sky. As I turned to go in the house, I thought I heard something. I turned around, frightened, only to see nothing.

"Bella?" a voice whispered again.

My hand on the doorknob, I completely froze at the sound. I would know that sweet tone anywhere, the perfect smoothness of my name coming off his tongue; the voice that had haunted my dreams and left me ripped to shreds.

Again I turned back around, in disbelief, to see a shadowy figure step from the forest into our backyard. Soft golden eyes met mine as his icy-white skin took on a faint shine from the sliver of moonlight peeking through the clouds.

I stared in shock, my throat working, but nothing coming out. Finally I managed to work past the lump in my throat.

"Edward?" I whispered.


	29. Feelings

**AN: Thank you to everyone who reviewed that I couldn't respond to personally. Rest of the AN will be below….**

* * *

We stared at each other for an endless moment until I finally snapped out of it. "What… what are you doing here?" That was all I was able to manage.

Just as I asked the question, my brain went into overdrive as I remembered the skin walkers' abilities. I practically leaped into my house before he could get closer. If Old Quil was right, then any skin walker wouldn't be able to enter my home.

"Bella? Are you okay?" Edward asked worriedly.

"Um, well, why don't you come in?" I said politely as my stomach rolled with nerves.

He came up on the porch steps and my body tensed in response. I moved further in and I exhaled as he moved into the house. It was Edward and only then did all the emotions come crashing down on me with blinding speed. I was hurt, angry, sad, and I couldn't help but feel confusion over seeing him again.

"What are you doing here?" I asked again and with more force, backing away from him. "Why the hell did you leave? Why the hell did you come back _now_?"

His expression was conflicting. I saw love which upset me further, fear, longing, and remorse.

"Bella, I'm sorry," he said softly. "I've missed you, more than you could ever know. I wanted you to have a normal life, one that didn't include so much danger. I managed to stay away much longer than I ever thought possible, but the whole time I kept making my way back here. To you."

I was turning into a block of ice. I had no idea what to say.

"I love you, Bella," he whispered and I felt my eyes close, the tears gather as what this meant sank into me.

I shook my head, the movement causing the tears that had gathered on my eyelashes to slide down my cheeks. How could he do this to me? And now?

"I don't deserve your forgiveness, though."

The words hung in the air between us, thick and stifling. "If you loved me so much, why didn't you _talk_ to me about what you were feeling and try to help me see instead of telling me you didn't want me? And why _now_?"

His beautiful eyes met mine and I could see so much grief in them and even though I was angry, I felt a twinge at seeing him so hurt. He reached out to me, and I let him take my hand.

"I came back now because I gave in to my feelings for you. I should have done this better; I should have talked to you about what I was feeling, but I was concerned for your safety."

I pulled my hand away and leaned back against the counter, listening to the deafening ticking of the clock. I could barely fathom that he was standing here, in my kitchen, looking as beautiful as ever.

"Well my safety has been the issue since you left. Victoria has been here for awhile and she is creating newborn vampires as she goes. She is also fighting alongside skin walkers; they are Navajo and native to Arizona. How's that for keeping me safe?" I said with a sad sigh.

He was so quiet that I glanced up at him. His face was frozen in shock and horror. "What? I was told that Victoria was dead. I had been tracking her, but I wasn't very good at it. I came across what was supposed to be her…" He trailed off looking stricken.

I hesitated in what I wanted to say.

"Edward, this story is very involved," I finally said quietly. "I want to talk to you, but everything is just happening at once. I think I need a little time to process everything and then we can talk some more. Plus your family is here and I'm sure they want to see you. Okay?" I asked. I reached out and brushed my fingers over his arm.

"They are? Yes, we can do that. I will talk to you soon," he whispered, his fingers tracing the outline of my cheek. It felt nice, but so different from the heat I was now used to.

After he left, I just sat down and Qahla crept out from under the sofa and onto my lap. As I sat stroking her idly, I barely felt the tears that trickled down my cheeks. I had wished to resolve things with Edward, but now I knew this was just going to cause problems. I had no idea he still loved me, and the knowledge of that was painful. Jake knew I would always have lingering feelings for Edward, but this was going to hurt him so much and every cell in my body protested that.

Part of me was glad Edward was safe, but I couldn't begin to understand the mess this was going to cause. Jake and I had reached a stable place in our relationship, and we loved each other so much; how was this going to affect our relationship? Jake had really worked hard with his self-control, and I was afraid this would shatter it.

I heard a thumping outside the door what felt like moments later, but was probably more like an hour later. Charlie still wasn't home. Jake was calling my name and I swallowed hard. My heart began banging in my ribs as I stood up shakily. It was time to face the music.

* * *

I was momentarily distracted from my worries when I went out into the kitchen. Jake had Charlie's shotgun in his hands and was fiddling with the bullets.

"What the hell are you doing?!" I exclaimed.

He was dipping the bullets in a white, powdery substance, and he began putting them back in the gun clip.

"You can't shoot a skin walker without having the bullets dipped in white ash. If they aren't dipped in it, the shooter will find that their gun will jam when trying to shoot one. It's a precaution because Billy was saying something about Charlie going out again with his deputies tomorrow."

I felt my hands begin shaking. He couldn't go out there, it was too dangerous.

Jake loaded the last of the bullets and put the gun back in its spot and hugged me tightly. "We can't stop them, honey, but you can be damn sure we'll be out there, too."

We stood there for a few moments until he kissed the top of my head and pulled away. "I need to get back; we're scouting a few more locations tonight and tomorrow and then we'll begin after we talk to the Cullen's. I'll talk to you tomorrow, okay?" he said as he pulled the door open.

I was immediately reminded of what I needed to tell him.

"Jake, Edward's back." I had planned to do this with some finesse, but instead I just blurted it out as he was halfway out the door.

I cringed, mentally kicking myself for taking the coward's way out. He had to leave and I dumped the news on him. Then again if I didn't tell him right away, it wouldn't help matters either. He turned around slowly as I waited with bated breath. The look on his face was a kick to the stomach. I saw the pain and the fear in his face before the anger took over.

"You're just telling me this now; as I'm about to leave?" His voice was oddly quiet.

"Jake, it just happened… you came over not long after he left. I know it's not the greatest way or time to tell you, but I had to." My voice trickled off at the look on his face.

"When it's convenient; when you know I can't stay? We will talk about this Bella. You can be sure about that." His expression melted into one of vulnerability.

I didn't care that he was angry or upset, I didn't care that I was scared and confused; when I saw that expression I practically threw myself into his arms. "I love you," I mumbled into his chest.

It took a minute, but his arms hesitantly slid around me. "I love you, too."

He pulled away first, and I saw that it hadn't completely erased the worry. "I don't want you to see him," he said, his face expressionless.

"Jake, I'm going to need to talk to him. Things were left so up in the air; I just need to find out a few things. And I think he's probably going to help anyway."

He moved down the steps, finally glancing up at me. His face had hardened a little. "Well I guess I'll see you around," he said as he turned to go.

I reached out for him, unwilling to let him leave angry. "Jake, stop. Please. Don't do this," I whispered, snagging his wrist.

He gently disengaged his hand from mine. "Come to me then when it's all said and done," he said in a challenging voice. "I'll talk to you later." He left in a hurry leaving me with a knot in my stomach.

Charlie came home not long after Jake left, and I went through the motions of cooking chicken and dumping some sun-dried tomato sauce on top of it. I barely managed to choke some of it down, beyond worried about Charlie going out to hunt in the woods. Jake's attitude had me scared and now I had to talk to Edward and I was worried about his feelings for me.

Charlie noticed me pushing my food around my plate. "Bells? Are you okay, honey?"

"Not really," I admitted. All I wanted to do right now was climb into bed and try to forget everything that was going on.

Charlie's eyes – exactly like mine – were worried as he watched me. "What is it? Did something happen?"

I wanted to tell him, I really did, but my stomach was a trembling mass of nerves and I wasn't sure I could get it out without _freaking _out. I finally managed to mumble the basics while I stood with my back to him at the sink. "Edward's back. I don't want you to go out in the woods. Jake's not happy with me."

We had come a long way; I normally wouldn't have confided any of this to Charlie. I glanced up and saw Charlie staring at me, frozen in his seat. "Ed… Edward's back? That's why Jake is upset?"

I nodded hesitantly and Charlie nearly snarled. "I don't want him any where near you. Bella, you need to talk to Jacob; don't let Edward confuse you.

I just gave him a look. "I'm not planning on it. I'm not stupid," I muttered.

"Bella, that's not what I'm saying…" he started to reply, but I interrupted him.

"I know. I'm going to go to bed, Dad, I'm really tired."

He frowned as he finished depositing the dishes into the dishwasher. "Okay Bells. And honey? I know you're worried about what's in the woods – I am too – but we'll be extra careful. Unfortunately it's something I have to take care of."

I closed my eyes, feeling the tears prick behind my eyelids. I was so tired of this; I just wanted it to be over and done with. I hurried back and threw my arms around Charlie. "When you do go out, please be extra _extra _careful."

I felt his hand brush over my hair. "I will," he said as he hugged me back. "And honey, just listen to your heart. You'll know who the right one is."

Upstairs I raced through my shower and climbed into my bed, shivering. I wished Jake was here, but I knew he was busy and I didn't think he would really come tonight anyway. I sniffed back the tears remembering the look on his face after I told him. Sleep didn't come easy that night.

* * *

The following morning I got up with purpose. I didn't have to work, so I threw on my standard of jeans and t-shirt and grabbed my jacket. A quick brushing of my hair and a granola bar in hand I drove immediately to the Cullen house. My stomach was doing somersaults all the way there. I turned up the familiar drive that was nearly hidden until the big white house came into view.

With a deep breath I headed up to the door. Before I could knock, Alice swung the door open. "Bella!" she sang. She looked positively lit up and I was sure it wasn't just due to me being there. She was happy her brother was back.

I couldn't help grinning through my nerves. She gave me a hug. "He hasn't seen anything in my head, so don't worry. I didn't get any clear visions either. I suppose it's because you don't know what you're going to say, so your thoughts are yours."

"Thanks," I said, hugging her back.

Suddenly I felt a wave of calm wash over me. I grinned. "Thanks Jasper," I called out.

I heard a soft chuckle float down the stairs. "You're welcome, Bella."

I gazed around the familiar room, felt the tug of sadness at the memories it brought, until Edward came into the room. I was struck again at those soft golden eyes, the icy-pale skin and perfectly messy bronze hair.

"Take a walk with me, Bella?" he asked softly.

I nodded and followed him outside. His skin shimmered faintly as the sun struggled to peek through the clouds. He led me into the forest and I glanced around nervously.

"I won't let anything happen to you," he said laying a hand on my arm.

"So they filled you in?" I asked looking everywhere but at him. It was a lot less, but he still had a bit of a dazzling effect.

"Yes. I would like to stay and help," he replied. "If that's okay with you."

He proceeded to explain to me that he tracked Victoria to keep his mind off me and to attempt to keep me safe, but she kept slipping away. He had stumbled across a fiery mass of red hair in Denali, detached from a body, and he believed he had it on good authority that it was Victoria. I felt sympathy for him at the grief it was causing him to think he had let me down, but I didn't think of it that way and I told him so.

I felt him reach out and brush his fingers over my hand. I bit my lip, and he sighed. "Bella, I love you, but you did what I had hoped originally. You moved on as a human would; you don't have to feel guilty."

"Don't you dare trivialize what we had," I snapped. "I barely managed to move on. I grieved beyond rationality over you to the point of not being able to function anymore. If it hadn't been for Jacob, I don't know what you would have come back to. I had to stop hurting Charlie, Jake, my other friends…and myself."

The pain flickered through his eyes.

"It hurt so much," I mumbled.

He took my hand. My chin trembled as the memories flashed through my mind. Laying in the meadow with him, touching his icy skin, going to prom with him and wanting him to change me, all the countless times in class being hyper-aware of him. Deep down my body cried out for the heat, though.

"Jacob is in my life, though. I… I love him," he whispered. "So much." I couldn't meet Edward's eyes; I didn't want to see the hurt.

"But a werewolf, Bella? I leave you alone to have a safe life and you move on with a young werewolf?"

"He never hurt me. He never would," I said my head snapping up.

"You have been with him, haven't you?" His eyes were filled with so much emotion I couldn't help but reach for him.

"Edward, please," I whispered shakily. "I hate knowing I'm hurting you; it hurts me to do so."

"If… if he makes you happy…" he trailed off and my stomach clenched in response. I was reminded suddenly of just how much I had loved Edward. "I should probably go… after all is said and done."

I felt the tears slide down my cheeks. He reached up and brushed them away. "I'm sorry Bella, so incredibly sorry for the hurt I have caused you."

I gave in and threw myself into his arms, giving him the hug we both seemed to need. I felt his hands on my back and I leaned up to give him a kiss on the cheek, letting him know I still cared even if I was with someone else. As my lips brushed against his icy cheek, I heard the crunch of branches. I froze and Edward pushed me behind him, already on alert.

I turned and found myself staring straight at Jake.

"Bella?" His voice was tight, his eyes flashing with horrible grief and anger, the emotions ripping right through my stomach. _Oh no, he can't think…_

"Jake," I tried to say calmly, but his eyes were now focused on Edward and his lip was curling. I saw the anger replace the grief.

His face was cold as he stared at Edward, and I noticed Edward's expression. He was grimacing in pain. It took me a second to realize Edward was reading Jake's mind and it was hurting him. Before I realized what was happening, Jacob had phased and his lip was curled back in a snarl as he tensed.

He moved away from me, drawing Edward with him right before he dove at him. I stared in horror, unable to move as he gnashed his teeth. Edward's hand flew out, knocking him back with one swipe. My heart leapt into my throat as Jake dove again after picking himself up somehow managing to confuse Edward's mind-reading and crashed into Edward sending him flying back into a tree. They were both snarling now, circling each other.

I found my voice. "Jacob! Edward! Stop it!" I screamed.

The vicious noises were echoing throughout the woods as Jake snapped at Edward and Edward bared his teeth. Without thinking I threw myself into the mix, forcing them both to back off so they didn't hurt me.

I felt the burn of tears again. "Jake?" I whispered, moving toward him. I felt Edward's restraining hand, but I shook him off. I moved closer, but Jake backed up. His wolf eyes met mine and I nearly crumpled.

He took off and I felt the tears slide freely. He had come at the wrong time. I had just been letting Edward go, but it could have easily been misconstrued. The forest sounds came back slowly, the rain started again, and I turned to Edward.

"I have to go," I mumbled through numb lips. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. Bella…" he murmured.

I shook my head, tears falling faster. "I just have to go to him. He misunderstood."

I stumbled my way back toward my car until I felt Edward lift me and run me back there. I mumbled my thanks as I hurriedly got into my truck and sped for La Push and Jacob. He needed to understand. It made it worse when I glanced in the rearview mirror and saw Edward watching me leave. When I got there, I hurried to the door and banged on it.

"Jake? Jake! Open the door!" I called out, banging again.

The door opened, but it was Leah standing there blocking my entrance. It was as if the last month hadn't happened; her expression was cold and hard again. "Haven't you done enough? Go home." Her voice was just as cold.

"Excuse me?" I spluttered. She had the nerve to try and order me home?

"You heard me. You can't have both of them, Bella, so stop jerking Jake around."

I had enough of this. "You don't know shit," I snapped, a little surprised at myself. "Now get the hell out of my way, Leah; I don't care if you're a super wolf. I _will_ be going inside."

I shocked her into silence, so I used my shorter height to my advantage. I ducked under her arm. I knew she could have stopped me, but apparently I had really surprised her with my minor outburst. As I stomped away from her, I heard her reluctant chuckle behind me. I flung Jake's door open, letting it bang off the wall. He was standing by the window, looking out. When he turned all my anger dissipated at the hurt etched into every line of his face.

"Jake," I said softly, reaching for him. "Listen you don't understand…"

"So you weren't hugging or kissing Cullen? You weren't looking at him like you looked at me?" His voice was incredibly hard and I flinched.

I felt the anger start building at his stubbornness. "Jake, you may have seen that, but it doesn't mean you know what the hell is going on!"

"Maybe I don't, but can you honestly tell me you don't have feelings for him? It certainly seemed that way," he growled.

The thought grew like a poisonous weed. I did have feelings for Edward, but they weren't quite what Jake was thinking. I didn't want him hurt, I still loved him in some way, but Jake was remembering me grieving so horribly and couldn't get over that.

I sighed. "Jake, I do care…" He didn't let me finish; my explanation was turning out all wrong.

"Then we have nothing more to say," he snapped, his eyes sparking angrily.

"You know what? Fine!" I yelled back. I knew it was childish, but at this point I didn't care.

We stood there glaring at each other. "You don't want to listen to what I have to say, so I'm just not going to bother."

I turned and strode out of the room, slamming the door behind me. I felt the tears on my cheeks as I hurried down the hall toward the door. I had always cried when I was angry, but I knew it was more than that. I hadn't fought with Jake in so long and with everything going on our emotions were running high. It hurt that he wouldn't listen, but deep down I knew he was just upset.

I brushed by Leah, but she reached out to me. "Bella, if… if you're telling the truth, don't give up on him. He loves you, he's just hurting. You need to show him he's more important. I'll tell him that, too."

I managed a nod, but I hurried out the door. I couldn't be here, I felt as if everything was crashing down around me. Once I was out of La Push the tears came faster. I pulled to the side of the road and cried, feeling as if I left a huge part of myself behind. Resting my face against my arms I tried to stop the tears. Suddenly my door opened and my head jerked up, hoping against all hope it was Jake.

It was Alice.

She slid in next to me. "Edward was worried about you," she said gently, smoothing hair back that was stuck to my cheek. "He said you went to talk to Jake and then I got a vision of you sitting in the truck crying."

I just nodded wearily and she wrapped her arms around me. I sniffled into her shoulder. "He wouldn't even listen to me," I whispered through the tears.

She refrained from saying anything negative, just made soft sounds and hugged me until I began to settle down.

"Bella, just go home and take some time for yourself. Do something _you_ want to do and then go to sleep tonight and resolve to fix things with Jacob tomorrow. It'll give you a chance to clear your head."

I nodded reluctantly. "Are you okay to drive home? Do you want me to come with you?" she asked.

I sucked in a deep breath. "No, I'm okay. Thank you, Alice," I said squeezing her hand.

She gave me a smile and then she was gone. When I got home I decided to take a bath. While the tub filled, I pinned my hair on top of my head and undressed methodically. I tried to let my thoughts go as the warm water enveloped my body. I lay there, drifting hazily when thoughts of Jacob invaded my mind. A few more tears escaped, but I struggled to keep it together. Tomorrow was another day.

While I slid the loofah over my skin, I could picture those large, russet hands instead of mine. My eyes drifted closed as the scent of my strawberry body wash permeated the air. I ended with my hand between my thighs; I swallowed hard and pulled back.

Once I changed into a comfy pair of thin, cotton pajama pants and a t-shirt I went downstairs and begin making an elaborate meal. I sliced chicken and made a spinach mixture to stuff the chicken breasts with. Once I had the chicken prepared, I slid it into the over and went to work on slicing vegetables and rubbing oil on baked potatoes and sprinkling them with cracked pepper and salt.

Suddenly I heard Charlie come home and realized I had been in the kitchen for awhile. I had quite a meal prepared for dinner and I had even made an apple pie. Charlie came into the kitchen and his eyes widened.

"Geez Bells," he murmured staring at the spread. "This looks absolutely fantastic."

He kissed the top of my head. "You okay, honey?" he asked, concerned.

I shrugged. "Problems with Jake?" he asked gently.

I was quiet as I filled my plate. "Just sleep on it tonight. He'll come around Bella; he loves you." Everyone seemed to have the same idea.

"I hope so," I said not looking up from my plate.

We ate mostly in silence broken only by Charlie complimenting me repeatedly. He offered to clean up all the dishes since I worked so hard in the kitchen. I was exhausted at that point so I went upstairs. With Qahla tucked against my side in bed, I read until I passed out.

I woke to another gray day with the sounds of birds twittering in the tree outside my window. My stomach rolled over slowly as I got out of bed. Today Charlie was going out into the woods to hunt and I was terrified. Today I was going to try and talk to Jake again and fix things; I needed him more than ever.

With trepidation I headed downstairs to face the day as it came - one step at a time.

* * *

**AN: Try not to be too hard on Bella (or even Edward). It's hard to stop loving someone completely even if you're in love with someone else! Just wait it out; I won't hold out long on you finding out what happens with them… it'll be in the next chapter! **

**As far as this story goes: I figured I'd let you know this story is coming close to its conclusion. I don't have it pinpointed, but a few more chapters will be written at least. I do have plans to start another one, too, just so you know!**

**Lastly – for everyone who celebrates it – have a safe and happy Easter!**


	30. Perfect Day

"**I don't want to think about it  
I don't want to talk about it  
When I kiss your lips  
I want to sink down to the bottom  
Of the sea**

I want to love you madly  
I want to love you now, yeah  
I want to love you madly, way  
I want to love you, love you  
Love you madly"

**-Cake "Love You Madly"**

* * *

Before I left I prepared two pans of lasagna for Jake – I knew it was one of his favorite meals that I made. While it baked in the oven I got dressed and forced myself to eat something for breakfast. I took them out of the oven to cool and then left to head for La Push, butterflies assaulting my stomach. I didn't want a repeat of yesterday; I wouldn't let myself get upset or irritated at his lack of faith in me. I was just going to _make_ him listen to me!

I jumped out of the truck and knocked on the door. Billy answered and smiled at me. "Hi Bella. I'm sorry, but Jake's out patrolling," he said.

I sighed, deflated. I took one of the pans into the house and gave Billy at least half a pan for himself. He thanked me as I headed for the door.

"Hey Bella?"

I turned. "My son is horribly stubborn and afraid of losing you; just remember that okay? He loves you beyond reason."

"Thanks Billy," I said. "I'll remember and I won't give up on him."

I headed back home and sat at the kitchen table staring at the clock. I couldn't help wondering how long he was patrolling today and when they were going out to launch their first attack. I had no idea how long I sat there as I pondered over what I was going to tell Jake, how I was horribly frightened to see Charlie, the pack, and the Cullen's in the woods fighting these creatures. I needed to tell him how I felt, needed him to know he didn't have to be scared. I paced the kitchen and nearly jumped out of my skin when someone banged on the door.

I went to open it and Jake stood there, cut off jeans hanging low on his hips, rain trickling down his chest and a look in his eyes that could only be described as fiery. Before I could utter a word, Jake's hands were on my face, tangling in my hair as he kissed me. It was… rougher than normal, aggressive in a way. At first I felt the urge to be angry, but realized I just wasn't.

I was pulling his hair, trying to get closer to him when he lifted me easily, backing us into the kitchen. The only sounds were the panting of our breath, the wet sound of our lips meeting over and over. He sat me on the counter, his tongue sliding deeper into my mouth as he moved closer. I gasped as his hands ripped my shirt open, scattering a couple buttons. Jake's hand tightened in my hair, tugging my head back so he could lick and nip at my neck.

I moaned as his lips traveled lower to glide over my breasts as his other hand went to work on my jeans. I managed to get one hand in front of me to pull Jake's pants partially down. I let out another gasp as I barely get one leg out of my jeans before he was back between my thighs, his pants now all the way down and the tip of his penis brushing against me.

I was impossibly wet.

I pushed my hips toward Jake, wanting him inside of me. "Please…" I managed to utter.

He thrust into me fast and hard. My head fell back, banging against the cabinet as he began pounding into me.

He scooped his arm under my one knee, lifting it and holding it to the side to spread me further. His other arm was a tight band around my back, his hand cupping my backside. I was bracing my weight with one hand, the other alternating scratching at his back in bliss and pulling his hair as he grunted with the effort.

He was filling me again and again, and our moans were getting louder. Suddenly his hips became more frenzied, thrusting faster and harder each time. When his mouth moved back to mine, I bit his lip as he drove me closer to the edge. My right heel was digging into his backside trying to bring him impossibly closer.

"J-Jake… please…" I panted.

"So tight, Bells," he groaned. "So goddamn good…" His hand moved between us, down, until he was pressing on me.

My whole body jerked. I was so close…

His fingers moved in circles around the sensitive nub, gently pinching me. I cried out, about to fall over the edge, when I felt his teeth and lips close over my nipple through my bra and tug at it. I let out a scream as all the feelings zigzagging through my body coalesced right between my thighs and caused me to explode in thigh-quivering bliss.

It rolled over me in waves, and I began to crest again as Jake slammed into me one more time before he cried out and released. It sent more shockwaves through my body.

I felt dizzy. And incredibly hot.

When stars stopped exploding behind my eyes, I dragged them open to find Jake nuzzling my neck. Whisper-soft kisses tickled my neck causing goose bumps to rise on my skin. I realized my pants never quite made it off my other leg, my shirt was ripped, and I was sweaty.

"Bella, I'm sorry. I didn't hurt you, did I? I should have said something, but I… I just wanted you… so badly," he trailed off, his voice uncertain.

"I'm okay…" I started to say before he cut me off.

His hands were shaking as they gently coasted over my hair and down my neck. "I should have said something, not attack you like I did… Bella, I'm…."

"Jake!" I interrupted. "Stop. It's not like I said no so don't beat yourself up. I was saying quite the opposite." I blushed at the frenzy we had been in. "I'm not hurt, it felt amazing."

He was quiet, still not looking at me, so I took hold of his chin and urged him to look up. The fragility in his eyes nearly killed me; _I _had put that there and I hated myself a little for it. I rubbed a finger over the creases in his forehead, over his defined cheekbones, to cup the strong line of his jaw.

"We did things backwards, Jake, but that's okay. I should have made you listen to me yesterday, but I think we both needed to calm down."

Sitting on the counter, Jake still inside me, I began to tell him. "I'm sorry I hurt you, but Jake I was trying to tell you that I was letting go of Edward. I won't lie; it was and is difficult because I still care about him a great deal, but I'm in love with you."

"As fantastic as the sex is Jake, you do realize I love you for other reasons, right? I fell in love with you _before _we ever had sex. I mean do you really not know how much I love you?"

The smile on his face was worth everything to me.

He was quiet for a moment, fingers under my shirt and tracing small patterns over my back. "I shouldn't have been so stubborn. I was scared, Bella, scared of what you would say. When I saw you hug him I panicked. I should have had more faith in you, in us. I mean we made it through an imprint, we can make it through anything else."

"We can," I murmured. I looped my arms around his neck and held him tightly against me, feeling every ridge of muscle in his chest and abdomen.

* * *

We both decided he was staying at the house with me until it was time for him to go out with the pack. I shuddered at the thought of him leaving to go fight; of leaving me behind to worry about him, to worry about everyone else out there that I loved. We both pretended everything was just fine; well, I did. Jake was okay with all this. He figured they – with the help of the Cullen's – would succeed.

I went upstairs to change clothes and Jake insisted I wear one of his t-shirts and nothing else. He told me he wasn't quite through with me yet which made me feel indescribably heated. Even though it was late morning I heated up the lasagna. He proceeded to eat most of it while keeping me firmly on his lap.

It was an unspoken agreement for today; we weren't going to discuss anything that was going on that wasn't about us. I lay stretched out on the couch, watching Jake tease Qahla and end up running around the house chasing her which made my stomach hurt from laughing at their antics.

I couldn't stop smiling as I watched him play with her, as I took in every detail of his slightly messy black hair, long russet-skinned and muscled-up body, to the happy shine of his dark eyes. And that blindingly beautiful smile on his face that warmed me from the inside out. He finally dropped down on the floor, leaning back against the sofa. I sat up and he pulled my legs over his shoulders; my cheeks flushed at the position but I didn't want to move.

I played with his hair, making little braids in it.

"Nice Bells. Make me look like a girl, why don't you? I'm sure my pack will love it."

I laughed. "Oh come on, you used to put your hair in a ponytail, remember?"

He smiled and turned his head, resting his cheek on my thigh. I told him I hadn't heard from the owner of the bookstore yet about the potential job. She had said I might not hear until closer to the end of summer, so I kept telling myself that it was normal I hadn't heard from her yet. I also needed to know because I was going to have to find a place to live out there. I couldn't help grinning as we discussed what we would want in a home together. We both had simple tastes, so it worked out as we both wanted something on the smaller to average side in a home. We both agreed that we would decorate simply.

"Nothing too flowery, but I would love some seclusion," Jake mumbled into my thigh.

"A fireplace would be nice," I added thoughtfully. "But yes, a little seclusion would be great."

"A lot of seclusion," he concluded teasingly. "I'm going to be making you scream every night I'm there," he murmured, his voice dropping and sending a flash of heat along my nerve endings.

He turned so he was facing me and slowly inched my shirt up, his lips caressing my thigh as he hooked his arms under both of them, his hands resting on my lower back. I took a shaky breath as he slowly made his way up.

He gave a small groan. "Mmmm, Bells, you smell so good," he sighed, rubbing his nose along the sensitive skin of my inner thighs.

I gasped, feeling myself dampen even more.

His shoulders were now between my thighs, forcing them wider apart. My shirt was bunched up around my stomach which was fluttering with anticipation. I tangled my fingers in his hair as his lips finally brushed against where I was aching and wet for him. I pulled at his hair and moaned in encouragement. He explored every single inch of me with his tongue and teeth; my legs were like jelly as I tried to arch and get closer to him. When he finally focused on my sensitive bud I cried out as pleasure streaked over my body.

His tongue circled faster, cries falling from my lips as I gripped his hair and held him there. I came with a rush, my whole body shaking. As I came back down, I could feel the throb between my thighs, but I was barely able to process it because Jake eased me over on the couch and slid on top of me. His mouth coasted over mine, teasing me with his tongue, and I could taste myself on his lips.

"Oh Jake…" I whimpered.

I felt his lips curve against mine as his tongue licked at the inside of my mouth. I used my feet to push his sweats down his hips. He caught my wrists in his hand, thumping them down over my head and drove himself into me immediately. I cried out repeatedly as he thrust his hips against mine, pushing himself deeper than I thought he could go.

I felt myself clamping down on him, arching my back to press my chest against his. He used his free hand to reach down and pinch my nipple, to massage my breast, as we both panted wildly.

"Bella… Bella… my Bella…" he managed to gasp against the soft skin of my neck.

With one last deep, penetrating thrust I came again hard and fast. Jake's hips jerked as he came and we both cried out.

He carefully shifted himself to the side as we lay there, trying to get our bearings. I turned and burrowed into him feeling lethargic and as satisfied as possible. His lips brushed my hair. "I love you," he murmured.

"I love you, too," I managed to mumble as we both drifted off to sleep.

When I woke, I realized we still had a few hours together. I made sandwiches for us in the kitchen as Jake stumbled in from the living room still looking sleepy. He also wasn't wearing any pants. I bit my lip as I stared at him, letting my gaze roam from his long, lean legs to the thick length of him. I swallowed hard and continued up his muscled body. When I reached his face, I saw the grin twitching his lips.

"It's nice to know I can get you hot just by walking around naked," he teased, so full of himself.

I rolled my eyes. "Sure sure, Jake."

"It's true because I can smell you," he whispered. He was right behind me and I could feel him brushing against my backside.

"Yes, well, we need some fuel now," I muttered, trying not to get too flustered. I always knew he had a strong sense of smell.

He grinned and we ate the grilled cheese with tomato sandwiches. We lay on the couch again afterward watching a movie as the rain slowly tapped against the windows. As we watched, my mind drifted to how today had ended up being such a perfect day; everything had seemed so normal, we had fun together, we made love, and we talked about the future. I kept trying to resist the thoughts until it was time, but my nerves had me thinking about what would happen today and tomorrow. I couldn't lose him. I had faith in him that he was a strong fighter, but it didn't stop the fear.

I loved his pack, Sam's pack, the Cullen family, Edward, my father… and they were all going to risk their lives to stop the skin walkers. I could barely stand the thought, but I didn't want to voice what I was thinking yet. This day had been perfect, and I didn't want to ruin it, I didn't want to give up on it yet to see the boy I was in love with face such terrifying danger.

I pulled his arm around me tighter and tried to lose myself in the here and now, complete in the embrace of Jake's arms.

Jake and I played an old board game afterward that Renee must have bought me all those years ago when we all lived here as a happy family. We were laughing as he tried to cheat and did a terrible job at it. The phone rang and I got up.

"I can see you from the kitchen," I warned jokingly. He snickered and rolled the dice.

I answered the phone with a laugh in my voice. "Hello?"

"Bella? Hi, it's Sam. Jacob is there with you I was told and was hoping I could talk to him for a minute."

I paused, surprised, as uncertainty took hold yet again. "Sure," I said softly. "Hold on a minute."

I held the phone out to Jake wordlessly. He tucked me against him as I started to move away to give him privacy. He listened quietly, he gnashed his teeth a few times, and then he looked resigned.

When he hung up he sighed. "What is it, Jake?" I asked worriedly.

"The pack _and_ the Cullen's are coming over here," he muttered. "Apparently Seth and Edward were both out in the woods talking and now they're buddy-buddy. Sam wanted to make sure it was okay with me first. Looks like I'm going to have to start using my Alpha commands," he tacked on with irritation.

"Seth is just friendly," I said as he led me back to the couch where he pulled me down onto his lap. "I'm sure it was just coincidence. You know Seth worships the ground you walk on," I teased him.

He smirked. I tucked my head under his chin as I got comfortable. I played with his fingers. "Just try and keep calm; I know it isn't an easy situation, but just remember I love you.

He kissed the top of my head in response.

I went upstairs to change before everyone got there and tried not to watch the clock as the hands ticked their way down to the Cullen's and the pack's arrival and eventually Charlie's.

* * *

**JPOV:**

I was ready to fight, to get this done… to kill the goddamn skin walkers that hurt Bella and Charlie. Unfortunately I was going to have to work with Edward and the rest of his family to do so. I turned my face into Bella's hair, breathing in her scent and strawberry shampoo. She was curled up against me and I didn't want to move until everyone was here. I wanted every last second with her, feeling her breathe softly, the touch of her arm against mine, the tickling feeling of her hair on my chest.

We were both quiet, and I was a little worried about how she was feeling. I was raring for this fight, but I knew she was scared. I felt a little niggling of worry myself about Chief Swan and his deputies being in there at the same time. It was bad timing, but I couldn't exactly tell him _not_ to go in. The packs were warned about it, though; we were just going to have to deal with a few extra responsibilities.

I heard the cars coming up the road and that meant the end of our perfect day together. Being with Bella today, talking to her, making love with her, I had been so at peace. With a groan, I gently hoisted her up and we went outside. I didn't really want Edward in the same house – and Bella's house at that – as me.

Once we were situated the packs' were behind us and the Cullen's' were all grouped together in front of us. It looked as if we were waging our own war. The little dark-haired one didn't seem to care about sides as she hurried forward and hugged Bella. I cringed a little at the sickeningly sweet smell emanating off her. Edward was just behind the doctor looking perturbed.

I felt my arms shake as he caught Bella's eye and gave her a long look. It was like they could understand each other just by looking, but then I felt Bella's hand rest on my lower back and knew she knew what _I _was thinking.

"We have permission to cross onto your lands – at least for today?" The doctor asked calmly.

"Yes," Sam said. "We're all going to need to move back and forth and work together."

"So Edward and Alice will have to work double-time to pass on something they hear or see to any of us that need it."

"That's fine," Edward said smoothly.

"It's probably best if we take on the vampires first if we can. I have first-hand combat training in how to destroy newborns, so I can pass on the tips to everyone. Then we should go after the skin walkers together to catch them off-guard."

"We can try that," I said, "But we're going to have to be pretty damn sneaky to keep the skin walkers off of us at the same time."

With everyone in surprisingly quick agreement, the blonde-haired warrior vampire took a few people aside and gave them some tips and a couple quick lessons. He did the same with the rest of us. I was distracted, though, watching Bella talk with Edward. I was hearing snatches, but Jasper kept distracting me.

We wrapped things up just before Charlie was due home; the plan was in motion and we would be heading out soon. Back inside the house, with the promise of meeting up with the pack soon, I noticed Bella purposely not looking at me.

Worried I went over to her and rubbed my hand up and down her delicate back. "Honey, are you okay?"

She shook her head, but didn't turn around.

I turned her around to face me anyway and saw her eyes were filled with tears, but she was trying to hold them back. "Oh Bella," I sighed. I picked her up easily and felt her knees hug my waist, her arms around my neck as she buried her face there.

I was so ready for this fight, but I hated that it scared her so much. We stayed like that, her clinging to me as I rubbed her back. "It's just after the day we had together… it makes it even harder to let you go," she whispered.

"I know, Bells. Believe me I wish I could stay here with you instead, but this has to stop so we _can_ have this together with no interruptions."

"I know," she mumbled against my shoulder.

Charlie chose that moment to come in and see us twined together. He rolled his eyes. "I see you two fixed things up. Hi Jacob," he added as an afterthought.

"Charlie," I said calmly giving him a nod. I lowered Bella to the ground.

"I have to go," I whispered in her ear.

She reached up for me – and since Charlie went upstairs – I took full advantage of her kiss by exploring her mouth again. She moaned softly against my mouth, and I tugged her closer, nipping at her lips. We just stood there then, breathing each other in.

"I'll see you soon, Bells," I murmured against her mouth. I gave her one more bear hug and then headed out the door before I said screw it and decided to stay there with her.

I turned around one last time before heading into the woods to phase. "I love you," we both said at the same time. I laughed softly and saw her echoing smile. That was the look on her face that I would recall tonight as I phased and took off to meet my pack.

* * *

**BPOV:**

I watched Jake leave, butterflies in my stomach. I wanted desperately to go after him and tell him to come back, but I knew he had to do this. As much as I hated it, it was necessary. The pack had given me a hug before they had left and so had the Cullen's.

And I got to talk to Edward before he left. I didn't want to lose him again either no matter what happened between us. He promised me he would be careful and he squeezed my hand, filling me with memories of his icy skin and the love we shared.

Charlie came back downstairs and I pointed out the lasagna we left for him. I had quickly wiped away the tears that had escaped, but he glanced over at me as he heated up his food. "Bells, are you crying? I thought you and Jake made up. I'm going to smack that kid…" he muttered.

"It's not that, Dad. I don't want you to go," I said quietly.

"Honey, I know you don't. Unfortunately it's something I have to do. Look why don't you call a friend to come and keep you company?" he said as he began to eat.

I shrugged. I wasn't sure if I wanted company; I was a nervous wreck. Charlie finished eating, got a few things together, and then strapped on his gun and grabbed his jacket. He turned to me and I flew into his arms. He held onto me tightly.

"I love you, Bella," he said, his voice a little gruff.

"I love you, too, Dad. Please, _please_, be careful."

"I will." With that, he stroked a hand down the length of my hair and then he too was out the door and I was left alone.

I sat stewing, worrying and generally driving myself nuts. I decided to call Emily. When she answered I was glad I did. She invited me down, but she had company already and I still wasn't sure what I wanted. I told her I would think about it and come down if I needed to. We talked for awhile, confessing our fears to each other, talking about when they could stop phasing and just be normal guys.

When we ran out of things to talk about, I cleaned the bathroom. Then I lay on my bed tossing and turning for awhile. As I watched the peeks of sun slowly fading, I managed to doze off. My dreams were strange and left me unsettled when I woke. Back downstairs I decided to take Qahla out. I bit my lip and opened the door; she sniffed around at the bottom of the steps and then she lifted her head and whined.

I glanced down at her and then with one short bark she bounded for the woods. "Qahla, no!" I cried, running after her.

Panic sliced through me; I couldn't let her go in there! She darted ahead of me, but stopped not too far in. My breath was coming short and fast. She whimpered now and backed up. My eyes flashed everywhere they could as I leaned down to scoop her up. I held her close to me, shaking. I didn't have far to go, I could make it home.

Suddenly a rustling sound came from ahead and my heart gave a painful slam against my ribs. I clutched Qahla tighter, memories of the last time flashing in my head. I tensed to run, but it was Charlie that appeared.

"Dad! Oh my God, you scared me!" I gasped.

"What are you doing out here??" he growled. "Get back in the house!"

"Sorry, Qahla took off on me…" I started to say and then trailed off. My eyes widened and I felt as if I were going to hyperventilate.

I saw a dark wolf shape behind the tree, staring straight at us.

* * *

**A/N: I know, I know, I apologize! With how the story is going this was the logical place to stop. I promise I didn't do this on purpose to drive you all nuts. If I kept going, I would've taken another week to finish it. Haha. Anyway, as Alice would say: "Show me the love!" Or hate. Whichever. Hehe **


	31. Chaos

"**Is our secret safe tonight  
And are we out of sight  
Or will our world come tumbling down?  
Will they find our hiding place  
Is this our last embrace  
Or will the walls start caving in?"**

**-Muse "Resistance"**

**AN to follow below… got some pimping to do!**

* * *

I opened my mouth to scream, but I was short on breath. Charlie's brow furrowed in confusion, and I realized he was between me and the skin walker. I didn't know if Charlie was being impersonated, but I couldn't let that thing attack just in case.

My voice came back with a vengeance. "_DAD!"_ The force of my cry showed me just why Charlie was the chief of police. The skin walker's eyes were bright as he sprung and Charlie spun around as fast as I had ever seen him move, throwing his arm out and firing in succession. Suddenly there was a blur of movement, snarling, and I was being shoved back out of the way. My grip on Qahla was tight, as I felt Charlie hunch down beside me, wrapping us tightly in his arms. I waited with bated breath, helpless, for it to bear down on us.

I managed to open my eyes and see what the hell just happened. The blur had to be Edward, and I saw my russet wolf at his most ferocious. The snarls rolling from his throat were incredibly loud as he foamed at the mouth in rage. There was so much to process, and I barely managed. I struggled with the blackness creeping at the edges of my consciousness trying to take me under. Qahla wasn't trying to get away from me, but her snarling was as vicious as she could get.

The skin walker kept appearing and re-appearing. Finally I saw Jake manage to get a grip on it and what I think was Edward grabbed hold and suddenly there was a ripping sound. My stomach rolled with nausea as I buried my face in Charlie's chest, weak with relief that it wasn't Jake or Edward being hurt. Suddenly things got quiet. Carefully I eased back, every muscle in my body clenched. Qahla had stopped snarling and was just shaking against my chest. The skin walker was gone; it had to be dead. I knew then after the confusion that Charlie wasn't another skin walker due to his reaction to the one watching us.

Edward was gone. Jake was standing there, his whole body vibrating and I knew he was trying to calm down. Suddenly Charlie jerked away from me and as I saw his gun rising again, I came to life.

"NO!" I screamed, throwing myself toward Jake.

I managed to get in front of him. Charlie's hand jerked down, complete and utter shock on his face. "Bella," he choked. His eyes were wide with fear.

Jake, slowly and carefully, lowered his body. He was still shaking a little. I knew he was trying not to startle Charlie and it suddenly dawned on me. Charlie was going to find out what the hell was going on. Jake very carefully laid his head on my shoulder, nuzzling me softly. Charlie wasn't moving; his face was frozen in surprise.

"Dad… it-it's okay," I whispered. I set Qahla down and she wound around Jake's leg.

"How… what…" Charlie mumbled faintly.

Jake phased back, right there in front of my father. He gasped, his mouth opening and closing, blinking rapidly.

Jake grabbed his shorts and yanked them on. "Charlie, it's okay," he said quietly. "I know this is one hell of a shock for you, but I will explain this to you later. I promise. I know that probably doesn't help, but I'm still me. I'm still Jake. But what's going on out here… you shouldn't be out here, it's too dangerous."

"You're…" Charlie finally sputtered. "You're the one that has been _killing_ all these people?" His voice rose in a furious rage.

"No!" he exclaimed. "There are other wolves, something more dangerous in the woods. We're trying to _protect_ everyone. Please Charlie; you know me! I would never hurt anyone. I don't have time to explain right now, but I swear to you we're trying to stop what has been killing people the past months."

"Dad, please listen to him," I whispered. "We'll explain this to you later. Please call your deputies off, let Jake handle this. It's what he was meant to do. And please, whatever you do, don't mention this to anyone."

Charlie stood up shakily. "Fine… who knows why I'm doing this, this is insane. Like I'd really want everyone to know I'm seeing things," he muttered, still looking dazed. He unclipped his radio and ordered his deputies back to the station.

"Bella, you are coming with me and staying at home," he ordered. "I have to go into the station to try and explain this."

"Call Emily, Kim and Rachel, ask them to stay with you," Jake said, squeezing my hand and trying to reassure me it was okay. I bit my lip, but nodded. He kissed the top of my head and then disappeared into the woods. Charlie stared at me.

"Don't you _ever_ jump in front of me when I have my gun out! I could have _shot _you!" he exclaimed. When I nodded, he got quiet and stayed like that the rest of the way.

Back at the house, I set Qahla down with some food and turned to face Charlie. He looked confused, scared, and annoyed. "I have to go," he said. "Call Emily, I don't want you here alone. We'll talk later," he said, the tone in his voice brooking no argument.

I called Emily and she immediately said she would be right up with Rachel and Kim. As I waited I couldn't help shivering at seeing that skin walker looking at us like that. I was grateful they had destroyed it. When Emily, Kim and Rachel got there we sat in the living room playing with Qahla. We were all pretty quiet, all of us worried about the pack.

"They know what they're doing. They heal," Emily said softly. She was the most calm.

I told them what happened in the woods. Rachel looked horrified. "Bella, those things are vicious. I'm surprised you made it out of there."

"I had to go after Qahla," I said, reaching over and pulling her onto my lap. "Thank God Charlie was there; he managed to shoot it before Jake, and I think Edward, killed it."

Charlie stopped home once to check up on me and handed me a cell phone. "Here," he ordered. "You need this, so don't argue with me. My work, pager, and _my_ cell phone are programmed in there already. Same with Renee. Keep it on you at all times."

I didn't argue because he had a point.

I ended up piling blankets and pillows all over the floor for us and we all lay down since it was late. We were all quiet, but I knew not one of us was asleep. We lay awake, each of us worrying about our wolf and his friends.

I had actually fallen asleep because the next thing I knew I was waking up completely disoriented. My stomach was immediately attacked by butterflies as I realized I still hadn't heard from Jake. Charlie wasn't home either. In the kitchen I got a drink of water and stood at the window overlooking our street.

Suddenly I heard a cry and then it was cut short. Whoever it was sounded human. "Oh no," I whispered.

I made to go out the door, but hesitated. I grabbed my new cell phone, stared at it, then dropped it and ran out the door. I knew he would hear me. "Carlisle!" I gave a small cry and ran down the street.

At the end of the road, where there were no houses, lay a body. My heart stuttered; I was aware of every last breath whispering from my throat as I inched closer, afraid of what I would see.

Carlisle was instantly by my side. I barely noticed him as I caught sight of the face. "Mike!" I shrieked, running full tilt and dropping next to him. "No, no, no, no," I gasped pleadingly.

His eyes opened and he stared up at me. "Bel-la?" he whimpered.

"Oh God, no. Carlisle!" I cried, tears burning my eyes.

Mike's body lay at an odd angle, his face and body covered in bruises. His breath was wheezing out of his lungs and his eyes were fluttering. He reached out for me and I carefully wound my fingers around his.

"Bella, they killed Eric," he said, his voice thick as tears slid down his face. Carlisle and I stared at each other, horrified. The grief began pulling at me; my limbs felt like dead weight. The tears flowed down my cheeks as I gripped Mike's hand.

"Bella, tell my mom I love her," he whispered. "Make sure my dad knows, too, and Jessica. Tell her I'm sorry; tell her I really did care about her a great deal."

"Mike, stop, you're going to be fine," I said as my tears dripped down onto him.

He closed his eyes, his breathing a little more labored; he looked about ready to pass out. Carlisle checked him over. "I need to get him out of here and taken care of now," he said softly to me.

I nodded and – to give Mike what I suspected he wanted at one point in time – I brushed my lips over his. I felt his move slightly and I tried to hold back the sobs. "Dr. Cullen will take good care of you, so don't go thinking the worst," I whispered thickly. Mike's eyes had closed and he was silent.

Carlisle looked worried as he carefully picked Mike up. "He has a chance, Bella. He's still breathing, that's what's important."

Then he was gone. I glanced up as a pair of arms wrapped around me gently. It was Jake. The tears came big-time; I could barely breathe through the torrent. Eric was gone; Mike was just hanging on. This was my fault.

As Jake picked me up, I caught sight of Eric. I saw all the girls running down the street toward us. Edward was there and he covered the body. Not before I saw it, though. My stomach rolled, and I tried to breathe shallowly, but it was overtaking me.

"Jake," I started to gasp. He had me down in a flash, knowing what I needed. I threw up in the grass as Jake held my hair back for me. When my stomach was empty, Jake sat down and held me on his lap, turning my face away from everything as he gently rubbed my back.

"I'm so sorry, Bella. If we had any idea that they had even been _near_ the woods…" he said as his voice trailed off. I buried my face in his chest, my tears finally slowing a little.

"It's not your fault. Not at all," I mumbled, sniffling.

"It's not yours either," he said tilting my chin up and forcing me to meet his eyes. "So don't even think that. I know you, Bella."

I just lay my head against his chest, tired and sad beyond belief. Someone had already called 911 and Charlie. I distantly heard the wail of the ambulance and the police cars. I didn't even turn my head at the commotion of slamming doors, voices yelling, orders being barked; I just stared down at the dewy, green grass. Jake never ceased stroking my back.

My stomach felt raw. I wanted to ask what was going on in the woods, but I was scared to. Suddenly I heard Charlie's voice. "Bella?!" he cried out in panic.

Slowly I turned my head and caught sight of Charlie running toward me. Jake lifted me easily and I found myself enveloped in my dad's arms. I felt the tears start again, my eyes burning from the earlier tears I had shed.

"Honey, I'm so sorry," he whispered.

"I'm sorry, Dad," I mumbled. "I didn't leave the house myself this time. I knew somebody was hurt, so Carlisle was with me when I found t-them," I managed to say before I lost my ability to speak.

"Carlisle took Mike right to the hospital?" he asked softly.

I heard Jake murmur a yes for me. He told him that Carlisle would have contacted Mike's parents as well as Eric's. We both knew he would have done that without a doubt. It was horrible enough, but to have seen either of their parents' faces would have done me in.

I heard Emily talking softly to the other girls. She came over and brushed a hand against my hair. "I'm sorry, Bella," she whispered. "If you still want us to, we will stay at your house with you tonight."

"Thank you, Emily," I mumbled, squeezing her hand. "Charlie is… going to take care of things, but then he will be home. I'll be in touch with you, though."

She nodded and I waved to the rest of the girls as they were escorted out of there by one of Charlie's deputies.

When I finally managed to pull away from Charlie's comforting embrace, I saw the look of uncertainty in his face as he glanced over at Jake. We had a hell of a long road ahead of us.

* * *

**JPOV:**

When I had left Bella I had no idea so much would have happened in the hours we spent in the woods tracking and killing newborns and a random skin walker or two. It had started out with me practically ripping Seth a new one for going behind me to be all buddy-buddy with _Edward_ of all people. He was sorry, I could tell, and I started to feel bad. I knew a little part of it was jealousy, though I would never admit that to anyone. Seth had always looked up to me and to see that bit of hero worship for something that had threatened my happiness and was in all respects our enemy, I was more than a little annoyed. I kept my thoughts free of anything but the hunt so no one would know.

Leah, Embry, and I had just tag-teamed two newborns, each of us dodging and weaving its insane strength. Leah managed to get a grip on his leg and with a hearty snarl, she tore it right off. I dove at it, my teeth sinking into its shoulder. I never felt human when I was doing this; I became a wolf completely and was driven by the desire to kill. I had never told Bella that, though she had sort of witnessed me when she had been attacked. It scared me to feel that way, afraid I would lose a part of myself in the process.

Edward was nearby fighting another vampire as I took on another one when I heard Bella scream for her father. Every hair on the back of my neck had risen; my pack was so in tune with me that they just took over the destroying of the leech as I took off at breakneck speed toward Bella's voice. _What the hell was she doing in the woods!? _

I heard gunshots and then dove into the clearing to see the skin walker jerk back slightly as Charlie sprayed him with ash-covered bullets. I had barely gotten there in time as it began diving forward again. Out of nowhere, Edward appeared on the other side as we both dove.

I didn't care, he could read the damn things mind; it would help. We worked in tandem as I caught in my peripheral vision Bella and Charlie with Qahla between them; Charlie held them, protecting his family. Edward had driven the heel of his hand into the skin walker's chin, snapping something while my jaw clamped around it. With one vicious yank, I had dislodged its head. It was dead. Edward dragged it away in a blink of an eye and I was left as a wolf for Charlie to see.

Charlie had balls; I had to give him that. He barely blinked, but he had his gun up ready to fire at me. I had never expected Bella to throw herself in front of me and it scared the hell out of me. Transforming back to human form was a necessary evil; Charlie was floored, but he handled it. It was not going to be easy to explain this to him and I didn't relish it in the slightest.

I hated leaving Bella yet again, seeing the fear flash in those soft brown eyes, but I made myself do it. This would end tonight. Nothing else would threaten her and we could live out our lives together. She _was_ my life, my reason to fight.

The hours had been bleeding together. I was losing track of time completely as we slunk deep into the forest, weeding out bloodsuckers left and right. It seemed like it was never-ending, but the attacks were much less so we must have done some serious damage. We weren't sure how many skin walkers were left, but things were mostly quiet. I was gunning big-time for Victoria, the cause of all this trouble.

I was sniffing around a copse of trees when Edward approached me. "I didn't get a chance to tell you earlier, Jacob, but that skin walker we killed had a big-time interest in Bella."

I glanced up at him in surprise. _What? Why?_

"His thoughts only came in spurts, he mostly relies on instinct. Bella must have tracked near his land at one point in Arizona, and unbeknownst to any of us why they pick their targets, he took an interest in her. I didn't quite garner if that's part of the reason why he decided to help Victoria or not, though. They are not exactly big thinkers."

I frowned. _I'm not sure we will ever find out just why she managed to get them on her side. Victoria has been difficult since the beginning, though. I'm starting to think that's her specialty; being a pain in my ass._

"They normally attack only Native Americans, correct?" he asked, his brow creased in thought.

I bristled. _I guess. Are you suggesting something, Edward?_ I growled.

"Not at all," he said dryly. "I was just wondering about their reason for targeting Bella since she is obviously not."

I was about to comment, but we both heard something. He glanced to the right, frowning. "It looks like they picked up Victoria's trail."

Just as we were about to run over to the other wolves now in view, I heard Bella scream for Carlisle. I felt a breeze race by me as Carlisle left without a word. If she was calling for Carlisle, something had happened. Chills raced down my spine as I spun toward Sam.

_Go_, he said. _Find out what's wrong. We'll call for you when we nab her._

I felt guilt at leaving them, but Embry shoved his nose into my shoulder roughly. _Go! _My thoughts flew to the person I needed to be with and I phased right near the edge of the woods, yanking my shorts on, as I ran toward the commotion. I saw Bella kneeling and then saw Carlisle pick up the body of Mike Newton.

I caught sight of another body – I think I had met him before. Eric? I caught hold of Bella, picking her up and holding her carefully. My heart clenched at the sound of her sobs. I had set her down quickly as she got sick and then just held her, watching Edward as he showed up cover the body until Charlie arrived.

Charlie could barely meet my gaze, but when he finally pulled away from Bella to take care of things, he sort of looked at me. "Can you get Bella home? Make sure she's not alone? I don't know if you can s-stay with her, but I don't want her alone," he mumbled.

I picked Bella up again. "She won't be," I said quietly. Back at the house, I lay Bella down on the couch, stroking her sweaty hair back from her forehead. I felt horribly guilty for not being able to stop the attack on her friends' even if she didn't blame me. Mike had become a good friend to her and I could see how much she was hurting.

I was about to get up to go outside and listen for any activity in the woods, but heard a soft knock on the door. When I opened it, Edward stared at me impassively. We seemed to have found some sort of even footing, but it wasn't entirely steady yet.

"What do you want?" I asked abruptly.

"I just came to see Bella; I knew Mike and Eric, and I…" he trailed off. I could see he was bothered by it, too, so I sighed reluctantly and let him in. I wrinkled my nose at the smell, but didn't say anything. Bella really seemed to instill patience within me these past months, I noted with surprise.

He went in to sit by Bella. I saw her tears start up as I stood in the doorway, feeling my insides melt again at the sight of her so upset. I sighed softly, gazing unseeingly out the window as the rain began to pick up again. I knew it was late without looking at the clock. It was probably only a few hours away from dawn.

I could hear Edward talking, but he was just telling her things to keep her calm. I did my best to stay out of it; I needed to hear what was going on in the forest. As if that triggered something, suddenly a cacophony of howls rose. Every single hair on the back of my neck and arms stood on end; there was a tone of utter grief mixed in that I had never heard before. Horror stuck me to the ground for a second.

Bella's eyes met mine. Her fierce determination and usual stubbornness reared up. "Jake, go," she gasped.

Fear for her held me there for a second as a feeling of dread crept over me, calling on every wolf instinct in my body. My body was shaking beyond belief. "Edward. Please," I panted. "Stay with her?"

His golden eyes were clear. "Nothing will happen to her."

"Jake, GO!" Bella cried and I was tearing out of the house after what felt like an hour but in actuality had only been seconds.

I was phased within seconds, my paws thundering through the forest. Branches whipped against my face as I barreled into the clearing where my brothers' and sister were. I came to a dead stop at the scene in front of me. Leah was the loudest, her howling now beyond grief and bordering on something I never heard before. It struck me hard hearing her like that. I couldn't even see what the problem was yet, but I saw everyone was hunched over one spot. Sam was struggling holding Leah back; Paul was helping him. Everyone was in their human form except for me, Sam, Paul and Leah.

"Jake," Embry gasped. "It's…" he trailed off when I caught sight of what everyone else was standing over.

It was Seth. He was lying there, still in wolf form, twitching a little.

My whole body shook with the agony. "He's… he's not dead," he murmured, his expression completely shell-shocked. "Victoria bit him."

Nothing had prepared me for this. No wolf had ever been bitten; from what we knew it was poisonous, though. I felt everything well up in me and a howl of rage and horrible pain ripped from my throat. I took off deeper into the woods, crashing trees down as I went.

Not Seth. I flew into a fury as the pain swallowed me whole.

* * *

**BPOV:**

Edward's arms were around me as the tears finally abated. I let myself take in the familiar comfort from his cold embrace. I was beyond worn out, but I wanted to go to Jake; something was very wrong.

"Edward, I need you to take me to Jacob," I mumbled against his shoulder.

"Bella, I can't do that. It's just not safe," he said.

"Please Edward," I pleaded. "Something is wrong, and I know he needs me. I'll be safe because you'll be with me. Not to mention the rest of your family will be there. Please?"

He sighed. "I really shouldn't be doing this," he groaned.

I stared at him until he relented. "Fine," he finally muttered. I knew he was only agreeing because he should be out there, too and didn't want to leave me alone. I scribbled a note for Charlie that I was fine and that I would be back soon. I felt terrible about it, but I couldn't _not _go to Jake.

I slid my arms around Edward's neck as he lifted me and took off into the woods. I closed my eyes, the fear twisting in my gut. When he slowed I opened my eyes only to see devastation. Leah was still howling, as her wolf body curled around someone. My eyes widened in shock when I saw it was Seth. It… it couldn't be…

The Cullen's looked hopeless, unsure of what to do. I stumbled blindly toward Seth. How could someone so sweet, so innocent, end up being hurt like this? Carlisle came into the clearing, looking utterly worn out. He made a move toward Seth, but Leah snarled in fury, snapping her jaws at him.

"Bella, can you go to Jacob?" Embry asked, his voice warring between grief and angry. "We need him here. You're the only one that will be able to calm him down. He's dealing with his own grief on top of Leah's and we can't get her to stop. He's the only one who can."

I nodded and Edward led me to Jacob before melting away. Jake was still in wolf form, angry snarls rolling from his throat. "Jake?" I called out.

He barely paused. "Jake!" I yelled. I moved right into his line of sight, walking straight toward him. I had been right; his body settled slightly as soon as I got close. He knew I was there and he didn't want to hurt me. I reached out and buried my fingers in the fur around his neck. I pressed my lips to his muzzle feeling his whimpers vibrate through me.

He managed to phase back to my Jacob and he clung to me as we sank to the ground, pressed against each other. I lightly touched my lips against his mouth, feeling his breath flutter against mine as we comforted each other in the aftermath of utter chaos.

* * *

**AN: Ok, first of all… pimping out the site ****http://truetaylorlautnerfans[dot]blogspot[dot]com****. It's a great site filled with all your Taycob news and updates. She keeps all of us Taylor/Jacob fans happy, so go check her site out. It's worth it!**

**Also, I have a J/B one-shot FF under my profile called Wedding Sex. It's a contest entry for the Public Lovin' Contest and I'm the only J/B entry, so if you'd like to read and vote you have through Monday to do so! You vote under the author's profile on this site… the username is publiclovin'contest and the poll is at the top of the page. **

**Lastly, I will occasionally be posting teasers of chapters on my LJ… not sure if I'll do it for every one, but in case you're interested in checking the site is ****http://exquisite_ugly[dot]livejournal[dot]com****. That about covers it, so go ahead and review for me!**


	32. Grief

**Should I feel a moment with you  
To softly whisper  
I crave nothing else so much  
Longing to reveal  
Total honesty  
I can feel your touch  
I'm reaching out in this mourning air**

**Portishead "Mourning Air"**

Jake's head was on my shoulder facing me, his heavy body collapsed against mine. I was propped against a tree, running my fingers through his hair, my lips still against his. We were softly breathing into each other as if breathing life. It hadn't really been more than a few minutes, but it felt like we had been half-lying here forever. I smoothed his hair back, finally pulling away to gently press kisses to his forehead, his eyelids, until he stirred.

"Jake, we can't stay here. You have to go back there. Leah won't let Carlisle near Seth, and he's trying to help him. Come on, your pack needs you," I whispered.

He moved back, confused and he looked so young in that moment.

"Jake, you are their Alpha. Leah is your imprint; you need to go to her. To them."

He seemed to shake himself awake, but his face was twisted with agony. I knew he was dealing with his own pain and then to try and handle his imprint's pain was making it worse. He got up, though, a little shakily.

"Yeah," he replied softly. "I have to go to her." He started to take a step toward where everyone was, but then he looked back at me and the pain in his eyes nearly had me crumpling back down again. "Will you stay with me? I need you, Bells."

"You don't even have to ask that, Jake," I said and slid my hand into his.

Back in the clearing Jake seemed to snap out of his funk a bit and phased before going over to Leah. She whined and just curled around Seth even tighter. Jake lowered his head slightly, a soft rumble coming from his throat, and Leah whined again before rolling over on her back in a submissive pose.

Jake turned towards Edward, looking at him intently. Immediately he and Carlisle moved in on Seth. Leah's whimpers were tugging at my heart; she didn't move, though, so Jake had apparently given her an Alpha command. I watched as he hurriedly phased back, blocking her from view while pulling his shorts on, before he and Sam stood blocking Leah from everyone. When he knelt down, I swallowed hard, watching him as he dressed a human Leah.

My breath shuddered as she began crying immediately. Jake held her tightly, stroking her hair. I tried to control myself as I saw Jake's hand reaching for me. I moved toward them, kneeling down, sliding my palm against his until our fingers were laced. We sat there in a little huddle of grief with Sam standing over us, attempting to give Leah some privacy.

Carlisle spoke up. "He's still alive, Jacob. He has also phased back to human form for some reason. I need your permission to take him back to our house and see what I can do. Is that all right with you?"

Jake looked up, struggling with his composure. "Yeah, that's fine. Please…" he managed to say, before having to stop talking.

"I will do _everything_ in my power to help him. I promise you. I promise _all of you_; I will try," he said determinedly.

Then in a blurred rush, Carlisle had lifted Seth and was gone. Leah struggled to get up. "I have to go with him; I need to be with Seth."

"Someone needs to get Sue," Jake said wearily. I knew he wanted to be with Leah and find out whatever he could about Seth, but I also I knew he felt responsible for what happened and would want to be the one to tell Sue.

Sam spoke up. "I'll stay with her until you tell Sue, Jacob. I'll call Emily as well."

Jake nodded and I slipped my hand into his again. "I'll go with you, Jake." He shouldn't be alone in this, and I didn't want to be away from him right now either. He picked me up instead and we flew through the trees quickly until we reached La Push and Sue's house.

I felt the dread in my heart at having to give her the news of her only son. I just prayed desperately that Seth wasn't taken from this world for her sake and for all of ours; he was too precious. The rain misted around us as I held tightly to Jake's hand, my thoughts too scary to linger on for too long. First Mike and Eric, now Seth; Victoria was still out there…

Before I realized it Jake had knocked on the door and Sue had just opened it. "Bella, Jacob," she said with a smile.

Then our expressions registered. Her face froze as she stared at Jake. "Sue, he's still alive, but Seth was bitten by a vampire. Dr. Cullen has him at his house and is trying…" he trailed off, his throat working.

A soft keening sound was disturbing the air around us and my heart throbbed in agony at the look on Sue's face. "No…. no," she whimpered. "My baby…" I struggled to breathe as she collapsed into tears. Jake held her, letting her cry. I couldn't even begin to imagine a mother's pain.

"Leah is with him," Jake finally said, his voice pained and even huskier. "We need to go Sue. Carlisle is doing everything he can. Bella, honey, can you call your dad and mine?"

I called Charlie and briefly explained that Seth was hurt and we needed him to meet us at the Cullen's house and then called Billy to fill him in. Jake drove Sue's car to the Cullen's while Sue sat in the back with me. I was feeling weighted down with grief, but she needed contact, so I squeezed her hand in reassurance. I knew she would do anything for her children, but she hadn't had contact with the Cullen's, but knew who they were.

When we got there, I let Jake lead her in. "Sue?" I said softly. "The Cullen's are good people; you don't have to be afraid. They will help Seth any way they possibly can."

I waited outside until Charlie got there. He looked haggard. "Honey, are you okay?" he asked immediately, grabbing hold of me and checking me over.

"I'm fine. Dad, Sue needs someone with her. We called Billy, too." I led him inside and saw Esme waiting for us.

"I'll take him up, Bella. Why don't you sit down, dear? You look exhausted," she said concern wrinkling her perfectly smooth brow.

I dragged myself up the stairs behind them and sat down against the wall outside of the room they had Seth in, resting my head back as we all waited to hear what was happening.

**JPOV:**

_My fault, my fault, my fault. _

It echoed around in my mind as I stood over Seth with Leah, Sue, Charlie, Billy and Carlisle. Seth was twitching pretty badly, his face twisted into a mask of pain that was ripping at me. Carlisle had given Seth morphine, a healthy dose of it, but apparently it only lessened the pain; it didn't numb it. I thanked every deity there was for the sole fact that Sue had not been here to hear him screaming – as I was told he had done. I tightened my arms around Leah, feeling every bit of agony she was feeling.

I wished I could have stopped Leah from hearing it.

Edward told me they forced her out of the way, out of the room, so she at least wouldn't have to see it. It was a difficult thing to come to terms with, but I was grateful to him for that.

Carlisle spoke up. "I have tried drawing the venom out with a needle; I barely got anything. The wolves healing powers is part of what makes vampire venom so dangerous. His body wants to heal up every single time there's a cut and it forces the needle out."

He looked upset, but determined.

I swallowed hard. "What now?" Sue whispered, her voice shaking. I saw Charlie squeeze her hand tightly and I was grateful he was there for her.

"I'm going to keep trying different ways of extracting. If this keeps going, it can damage his internal organs. I'm going to have to keep giving him medicine orally to fight it off. I will do everything I can to get him to rest comfortably."

I felt Leah shudder against me and I stroked a hand over her back, as much for my sake as for hers.

"Look, I know you all want to be here, but quite honestly it would benefit you more if you went and got some sleep and came back after that. I promise I will call as soon as I figure something out," Carlisle said.

Reluctantly we agreed. There wasn't much we could do but hope that Carlisle could save him. Everyone began dispersing. I went to pull Leah along with me, but she shook her head. Her brown eyes looked blank, empty.

"Jake, I need a little time to myself. It will give you time to take care of Bella, get some sleep. I know she's suffering, too."

"Lee, I don't want to leave you alone…" I started to say, but she put a finger against my lips.

"I'll be okay for a little while. I'll see you later okay?"

I gave her one last, hard hug. I felt her face press against my shoulder and after she left, I brushed my fingers over the damp spot her tears had left. With a sigh, I headed out and saw Bella leaning against the wall in the hallway. Her head was nodding, she had purplish circles under her eyes, and she was half slumped against the wall.

"Charlie, I'm going to take Bella back to our house to sleep," I said quietly. "I need to take my dad home, and I can keep an eye on her there."

Charlie wouldn't quite meet my eyes, but he nodded reluctantly. "We still need to talk, Jacob," he said his voice hard.

"I know. We will; I promise."

I bent down and scooped Bella up. Her eyes fluttered. "Jake, wha are you doin'?" she said, her voice slurring a bit.

"I'm taking you back to my house to get some sleep," I said, cradling her against me.

She shook her head back and forth slowly, her hair tickling my nose. I breathed in the comforting scent of Bella and strawberries. "No Jake. We have to stay here. Did they find anything out?"

"Not yet, honey; which is why Carlisle said we should all go and get some sleep. You barely slept at all last night."

"But Jake…" she mumbled.

"No buts. We'll come back after we get some sleep."

She was too tired to protest, so I got her into the car and the three of us drove back to the house. Billy went in to lie down, too; he seemed rather worn out. I carried Bella into my room and laid her down. Exhausted beyond belief, I stretched out next to her, wrapping myself around her. Within seconds we were both out.

When I woke, Bella was lying on her side, her cheek on my chest and arm slung over my waist. I brushed a hand over her hair, moving it off her face. She was unbearably beautiful. Surprised, I reached up and touched my cheek. It was wet. Suddenly tears were sliding down; the guilt over not protecting Seth was eating away at me even if deep down I knew I couldn't protect everyone at the same time. The last conversation I had with him was me getting huffy because he had been talking to the leech – Edward – and seemed to look up to him. I was jealous, and I despised myself a little for that.

Bella stirred against me, and I watched as her eyes slowly blinked open. She slowly focused and then the frown line appeared between her eyes. "Jake? Baby, are you okay?" she whispered.

Her concern made the tears fall a little faster. Seth was really hurt, so was Mike, her other friend Eric was dead and I felt guilty for her being hurt over all of this. She stretched out on her back, urging me to move so my head was resting on her stomach. Her little fingers were pulling through my hair slowly as the feelings ate away at my insides. I needed to feel something else, even for a little bit. I pushed her t-shirt up and brushed my lips over her stomach.

"Jake?" she whispered as I continued kissing the soft, pale skin of her stomach.

"Bells, I need you," I whispered thickly. "Please. I need to feel something else."

Without another word, she sat up. I reached for her and she straddled my lap. Her soft lips were on mine and I urged them apart immediately with my tongue. She tugged at my shorts and I lifted her off to dispose off our clothes as fast as possible. She was back on top of me and was rubbing like an animal in heat against my straining dick. I groaned and felt her intake of breath when I pinched her nipple. She continued to rub and tease me until I was entirely consumed with her. I felt every soft, slick bit of her rubbing against me in a torturous fashion. I lay back, pulling her with me, fisting my hand in her hair. We nipped, kissed, and sucked every bit of each other we could reach as she moved her hips in position over top of me.

Our eyes connected and we both groaned in unison when I jerked my hips up and pulled hers down to meet me. I was buried inside of her and in so many ways I felt as if was home. Her body, her mind, her everything was all that I ever wanted. I urged her down so I could capture a nipple between my lips, tugging and licking at it. Her hair drifted down around us in a soft cascade and I lost myself completely in the touch and scent of her. I held her as we moved faster, as the slick glide deep into her body caused ripples of love and lust to wash over my skin. She rotated her hips one more time as I thrust up, and she bore down on me until I was buried to the hilt. And I exploded mindlessly.

**BPOV:**

I had needed that as much as Jake did; to feel something good. And loving. I rubbed my cheek against his chest, tilting my head back to press my lips to the pulse in his neck. I knew why he had been crying and it upset me.

"Jake, please don't blame yourself," I whispered against his jaw.

He was quiet for a moment and then sighed. "I know I shouldn't. I just wish I could have done something more…"

"We all do," I murmured leaning my arms on his chest so I could look down into his face. "It doesn't help, though. None of us could have known this would all happen at once and we certainly couldn't have stopped everything from happening. I'm scared for Seth and Mike, and I'm upset that Eric's… gone…" I stumbled over the words, fighting the all too real feeling of having someone I knew and liked taken out of my life so cruelly.

I swallowed hard. "I have to try and be strong for Mike and Seth, don't I? Don't we all? If they can hear that we care and love them it can help them to fight harder."

He kissed my temple. "You're right, Bells. I know. We need to get up and go check on things."

I called Alice and she said there hadn't been any major changes. We dressed and Jake gave me the keys to the Rabbit so I could visit Mike at the hospital first. He drove an old truck he had fixed up and took Billy right to the Cullen's. I wanted to go into the hospital for a quick visit to Mike before going back to meet them there.

As I began driving out of La Push, I noticed a lone figure standing near the cliffs I had jumped off of. I realized it was Leah, and I pulled off to the side of the road. I wasn't sure what was compelling me to do this, I was probably the last person she wanted to see, but I couldn't seem to help myself.

When I reached the cliffs, I saw her standing with her back to me, looking out over the water. The wind blew my hair around my face and I absently brushed it back. I moved closer to her. I opened my mouth to say something, but changed my mind when she didn't turn toward me.

Hesitantly, I reached out and – unsure of this was a good idea – took hold of her hand. I saw her stiffen slightly and thought she was about to pull her hand away, but she didn't. I wasn't sure how long we stood there like that; fingers lightly laced together and limp as we stared at the sun beginning its descent and casting a soft gold light over the water. Finally I heaved a soft sigh, knowing I had to get going before hospital visiting hours were over.

Just as I was about to pull away, I felt Leah squeeze my hand. She turned toward me as she let go. Her expression tugged at me – her face was wan, her eyes blood-shot, and the tears were barely dry on her cheeks.

"Thank you, Bella," she said quietly. She turned and slipped into the woods.

It was more than enough.

I got back into the Rabbit and drove to the hospital. I checked at the nurse's station for Mike's room and saw Dr. Snow come out as soon as I got there.

"Hi, Dr. Snow. How is Mike doing?" I asked when he gave me a tired smile.

"He's stable. I can't give you too many details, but we repaired some of his injuries. I'm sorry, that's really all I can say."

I nodded in understanding and went into the room. Mike looked so small in the hospital bed, hooked up to too many machines. I sat by his side, my head in my hands, praying that Mike would wake up soon. I straightened the flowers on his nightstand, adjusted his covers around him, and then sat back down.

I sat there until I heard someone speak behind me. "Bella?" I turned in surprise at Edward's voice.

"Edward? What are you doing here?"

"I came here to tell you that Charlie is looking for you. He came to the house looking for you. I had planned to stop in here anyway, so I told him I would let you know. You forgot your cell phone."

"Thanks. It was nice of you to come," I said quietly.

"Mike has become a better friend for you. I'm glad. I was sorry to hear what had happened to him." He sat down next to me.

I felt my eyes fill again looking down at Mike. "He has. I just hate that this happened to him."

I felt Edward's hand on my upper back, and I allowed him to turn me so I was in his embrace. I cried a little again, pressing my cheek to his cold chest. His hand stroked my back. I pulled back and his golden eyes were right there staring into mine; he pressed a kiss to my cheek. I went to pull away slowly, but his lips glided toward the corner of my mouth.

"Edward…" I whispered, gently pulling away from him.

He moved back. "I'm sorry, Bella. I didn't mean… I'm sorry, I just got carried away."

I laid my hand in his when I saw the pain he was still hiding. "It's okay. I mean it's not okay for you to do that, but I understand. I don't like hurting you," I mumbled.

He gave me another hug and gently tugged me up. "I know, Bella. Come on," he said changing the subject. "You should get back to Charlie."

Once outside I told him I would see him later and then drove home. As I parked Jake's Rabbit, I saw him coming out of the woods. "Jake? Is it Seth? Is he okay?" I asked nervously.

"He's the same. Charlie wanted me to come here."

I realized what was going on. Charlie was summoning us here to talk about what happened. This was not a conversation I was looking forward to. He handled it all right when it happened, but I wasn't too sure what would happen after he had time to think about it. We headed inside to see Charlie sitting at the kitchen table, looking completely worn out. We both sat down quietly, unsure of what to do.

"What the hell is going on here in Forks?" Charlie asked softly.

Jake sighed. "Did Billy ever tell you about the legend of our tribe? How we are descended from wolves?"

"Not really," he mumbled. "I sort of knew about it, though. I never asked."

"Well, the legend is true. It's a gene that is passed down through the bloodline. My grandfather, Ephraim, was part of the wolf pack in his time. We transform into wolves when there is a… particular danger," Jake said delicately.

"Was that what was killing people? And what do you mean a pack? There are _more_ like you?" Charlie's eyes widened.

"Yes. The wolves are not designed to kill people; we are there to protect them. And there is a wolf pack; a number of us had the gene and began transforming when the threat came back into the area."

I watched Charlie scrub his hands over his face. "I can't believe this…" he muttered.

"Well, what was it? Or do I even want to know?" Suddenly he looked worried.

"It… isn't my story to tell. There was something new to the area, though that was also a problem. It was taken care of, though."

"As police chief I should know about this, but I also really don't want to," he muttered, more to himself than anything. "Does this have anything to do with the Cullen's? I mean, I always knew they were a little… different. And with Seth being there and not at the hospital I can't help but wonder…" he trailed off.

Jake and I tried to keep from looking at each other in surprise at Charlie's intuitiveness. "The Cullen's are good people, Dad," I replied.

He knew something was up, but he didn't seem too interested in pressing the matter. Finally Charlie sighed. "Well, this wasn't entirely informative, but then again, I'm still not sure I want to know everything. I've known you a long time, Jacob, and I think I trust you."

Jake nodded. "I know it's a lot to process, Charlie. We can keep each other in the know about things to make your job easier, but it's safer for you to not know everything about any other… threats."

He seemed to agree, albeit a bit reluctantly. "Dad, are you okay?" I asked as we got up. "I want to go back to the Cullen's and find out what's going on with Seth."

He nodded. "I'm okay. Jake, I'm sorry about your friend."

"Thanks, Charlie. I'll take good care of Bella, and I'll bring her back later on."

We hurried out to the Rabbit; anxious to get back to the Cullen's to find out if anything had changed.

When we reached the Cullen's, there was a bit of mayhem. Emmett, Jasper, and Edward came flying out of the house with Leah right behind them.

"What the hell is going on?" Jake yelled.

"Victoria!"

"She's here!"

In a second, Jake pushed me into the arms of Alice. He phased and tore after them. Victoria was no match for them. She saw me, her face twisted in rage. Our eyes met for a second before she tried to dodge and make a run for me.

It was suicide.

Emmett, Jasper, and Edward caught her as she leapt; the same time Jake and Leah dove in synchronicity, teeth bared and snarls erupting. The Cullen men backed off and let Leah and Jake finish the job. They ripped her apart until all I saw was a mass of red curls.

Frozen in one spot, I finally realized Alice had led me into the house. Alice thoughtfully had some clothes handy for Jake and Leah that she left on the porch. They all filed in soon after.

"It's over," Jake said.

He wrapped his arms around me as I leaned my head against his chest. The danger was over, but we were left to deal with the pain of seeing our loved ones suffering. We resumed our vigil of sprawling on the couches, chairs, and the floor. I had remembered to bring my cell phone, and I realized I had never spoken with Angela or Jessica after what had happened. I was sure they knew by now, though.

I stood at the big window, overlooking the backyard, and called Angela first. She cried on the phone. I knew Ben was with her, so I was glad she wasn't alone. I asked her about Jessica, but she told me that she couldn't get a hold of her. She knew what had happened, but had gone quiet. I was worried for her; I think she had stronger feelings for Mike than she had realized. After I hung up with Angela, I called Jessica anyway and left her a message.

I sat back down next to Jake. "Are they okay?" he asked.

I leaned into him, feeling the tiredness creeping up again. "Angela's upset, but Ben is with her. Jessica isn't answering any phone calls so I will have to keep trying. Angela told me they're having the funeral tomorrow already around five 'o clock."

He kissed the top of my head. "I'll be there."

"Jake, you don't have to…" I started to protest.

"I'll be there," he interrupted me.

Edward came down with more news from Carlisle. "He managed to get some of the venom out, but still not enough. He keeps healing too fast. He got some scans of his internal organs. The good news is that being he is as strong as he is he keeps fighting it. But there has been some minimal damage to his internal organs."

Every single one of the pack began flipping out until Edward held his hand up and raised his voice. "It's reparable. He is still giving him morphine; he said he has a fighting chance as long as his body's healing properties continue to fight the poison until he figures out a solution. The wait is hard, but at least we know he's fighting."

Everyone peppered him with questions, but there really wasn't any more information he could give us. Sue and Leah were still up in the room with Seth, Jacob went up now and again to check up on them, and I leaned against the wall hoping and praying that this would all turn out okay.

**A/N: The Seth thing will be resolved next chapter for sure; it would have ended up being too much in this one. **

**Also, just wanted to let you know it looks like the story will end with chapter 36. It's going to be a little back and forth with the future, near and far, after the next chapter. And I know the last chapter is going to be a bonus one that I'm going to let you all choose what you want to see out of my options. I will post more about that later, though.**


	33. Hope

"**There's a long hard road ahead**

**But a voice inside me said**

**You know there's something that you need to know**

**It's gonna be alright**

**Said there's something that you need to know**

**It's gonna be alright"**

**-Sade "Long Hard Road"**

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I drifted lazily in that between time of waking and sleep. My whole body felt toasty warm, and I felt a little weight on my legs. Confused, I tried to figure it out without opening my eyes. It wasn't working, though, so I finally managed to drag my lids up and try to focus. I was sprawled out on Jake's half-reclined body on an unfamiliar, pristine white couch. My head was tucked under his chin as I nestled into his chest. Eyes finally focused, I realized Qahla was sleeping on my legs.

I was at the Cullen's, sleeping on one of their couches with Jake and Qahla.

"You awake, Bells?" I felt as well as heard Jake's voice.

"Yeah, what's going on? How did Qahla get here?" I asked sleepily.

"Charlie was working late, so I asked Embry to go and get her so she wasn't alone. Carlisle and Esme were fine with it." Qahla lifted her head as we talked about her and I rubbed her ears.

"Has there been any word?" I asked softly.

"Not yet," Jake said his voice mired in sadness. "Carlisle said he's still fighting hard and that's a good sign, though."

As we reclined there comfortably, Edward came into the living room. Aware of the fact that this might hurt him, I quickly tried to ease myself off of Jake. He understood what I was doing, and he let me go. His expression stayed neutral and I hoped meant he wasn't bothered by it.

"Sorry, I hope I didn't wake you," he said softly. His expression twisted a bit, but then smoothed out immediately after.

I felt that usual twinge of guilt for hurting him, but then I watched as he focused on Qahla who had just woken up with a stretch that ended with her behind in the air and a huge yawn.

"So this is the infamous Qahla that Alice mentioned. More than once," he added with a little grin.

I laughed. Qahla turned and stared at him, and then surprised us all by jumping off the couch and running over to Edward immediately. She bounced up, putting her paws on his knee, her tongue hanging out the side of her mouth.

I stifled a giggle at his expression. "She wants you to hold her," I said.

He looked at me uncertainly. I gave him a nod, so he reached down and very carefully lifted her looking entirely perplexed. As soon as he was holding her, she licked his face and snuggled into his arms.

He shook his head in amusement. "Alice was right; she _is_ quirky. It seems she has no sense of danger… just like her mother." He quirked an eyebrow at me, and Jake snickered. I just rolled my eyes.

Edward sat down and we were all quiet. I glanced up to see Edward and Jake looking at each other and nodding. "What's going on?" I asked.

"I heard what Victoria was thinking before she was killed," Edward said. "The one skin walker had caught sight of you in Arizona at some point Bella, and for reasons unknown, he was drawn to you. Victoria had been involved with one of the other skin walkers when he was just human; before James. That involvement there made him follow her."

I looked at both of them in surprise. "She was involved with one of them? And why would they attack us then; the others, not including the one that was interested in me."

"Well, I had mentioned to Jacob about them mostly attacking Native Americans. I don't really know why, but it is not unheard of for them to attack outside of the tribe. It just depends what catches their interest."

Qahla had snuggled up on Jake's lap now and he was idly stroking her ears. "They weren't entirely happy it seems with our involvement in this. And apparently Victoria has some weird mojo where they listened to her. They are pretty volatile, but she was the one yanking the damn strings."

I sighed. "Yet again I attract something for no reason. And why it waited this long to decide to attack me makes no sense."

"It isn't entirely unheard of, honey," Jake said. "I guess that skin walker probably would have forgotten about you if Victoria hadn't talked them into coming here and jogging its memory. There are a lot of holes in this theory, though, because obviously none of them were very forthcoming. I don't think we'll ever know all the details."

Just then Esme came into the room with a smile. "Bella, honey, breakfast is done." I had been so out of it I hadn't smelled the bacon and the coffee wafting out from the kitchen. "Jacob, you and your pack are welcome to eat, too. I made plenty."

I smiled at his look of surprise. In the kitchen there was a large array of food spread out - from pancakes to omelets and plenty of bacon, sausage, muffins, and fruit covering every inch of the counter. "Thank you Esme," I said giving her a tired smile and a hug.

All the wolves ate; one good thing coming out of this disaster was the wolves and the Cullen's becoming friendlier with each other. When everyone was finished pigging out I told Jake I wanted to see Seth before I left. I was so far behind at home, and I was beginning to feel like we were taking advantage of the Cullen's. Upstairs Carlisle was the only one in the room; he was standing by the window, his beautiful face a study in pensiveness.

"Carlisle?" I said softly.

He turned with a wan smile. "Hi Bella. Did you need something?" he asked politely.

"I have to leave soon to get some stuff done at home before the funeral," I murmured. "I… just wanted to see Seth. Is he…?" I trailed off.

Carlisle's brows were drawn together as he looked down at Seth. "He's hanging in there, Bella. I have an idea, but I need to think it through and discuss it first. You know I will be informing you and your friends as soon as we make a decision," he added with a slight smile.

I nodded, hoping desperately that this idea would work. I wasn't sure how much more of this Jake, Leah, Sue, and the rest of the pack could take. My stomach had been twisted in knots since right before Jake went out to fight and I craved some peace in our lives for once.

Carlisle had slipped out of the room unnoticed while I stood staring down at Seth. I bit my lip as I perched on the edge of the bed next to him. "Oh Seth," was all I managed to mutter before the tears began their descent down my cheeks.

I sniffed and gasped over him, twisting the bracelet around my wrist that he had given me during Quileute Days that I never took off. With the back of my hand I wiped the tears away. "Come on, Seth, you can do this. Don't leave us, okay?" I pleaded. He looked a bit like Jacob, though his hair was shorter and he still had the slight roundness of youth in his face.

He lay prone on the bed, though when I squeezed his fingers, I thought I saw a flicker of his eyelids. I leaned down and brushed my lips against his cheek before heading downstairs, still fighting the tears that seemed to be lingering close to the surface the past few days.

I waved goodbye to everyone and thanked Esme for breakfast. Jake followed me outside; he brushed a finger under my eye, wiping a stray tear away. My lip quivered threateningly, so I just buried my face against his chest.

He held me for a few minutes and when I pulled away his eyes looked a little damp, too. And tired. "Jake, you still look exhausted," I said worriedly.

"I don't think I really slept last night," he mumbled. "I might have dozed off a few times, but that's about it."

When I raised my eyebrows at him, he sighed. "The whole pack was outside sleeping in the woods, but I wasn't going to make _you_ sleep in the woods nor did I want to leave you alone. It's not exactly easy to sleep in the home of something you were told was your enemy."

I rolled my eyes half-heartedly. "We'll sleep at Charlie's tonight," I said with a little yawn. Apparently I hadn't gotten as much sleep as I should have.

He leaned down, brushing his lips over mine. "Go home, honey. Do what you need to do and I'll see you later at the cemetery."

########################################################################

Back home I dove into the cleaning, laundry, and cooking with a vengeance. Charlie and I had both been neglecting the usual stuff and it proved to be a good distraction. I made a couple meals for the next few days so we didn't have to worry about it and cleaned the whole upstairs. I just switched over the laundry and was putting some of Charlie's clothes in his drawers when I heard the door close downstairs and a quiet murmur of voices.

I froze, fear overtaking me.

Then I remembered the danger was over. It was going to take some getting used to getting back to normal. I was so used to my life being threatened. I went out into the hallway and my eyes widened when I looked down.

"Bella? Baby?" Renee's voice hit me like a ton of bricks and I flew down the steps straight into her arms.

"Mom," I whispered thickly the tears making yet another appearance. "What are you doing here?"

I breathed in my mother's familiar scent and reveled in the feel of her brushing my hair away from my face. I felt the press of her lips on my forehead. "Oh honey, Charlie called me and told me what happened. I'm so sorry, Bella. I wanted to come here and be with you, make sure you were okay."

Then I felt a man's hand on my back. "I'm sorry to hear about what happened, Bella," I heard Phil say. I couldn't believe they both came.

I cried against my mom and she just held onto me until I was done. I finally pulled away, exhausted from crying so much. I just held on to Renee, finally feeling like the child instead of the adult as she murmured soothingly.

"Thank you both for coming," I said hoarsely. "I've missed you."

Charlie came home while Renee helped me finish dinner before we had to leave. "I still can't believe there were that many animal attacks," Renee mused as we ladled stew into bowls.

I was glad Charlie kept it simple. I didn't want Renee to know about the supernatural stuff that had happened; I knew it would upset her and she would never relax. Charlie could handle it, but I didn't think she could.

"There had been a big problem with them. Dad… and some others… were working hard to capture them, but they had been hard to catch," I lied lamely.

"And to think three people in one day," she said sadly shaking her head. She didn't even notice the pathetic lie.

We kept the conversation light while we ate dinner; I was beginning to dread the funeral and didn't want to dwell on it too much by talking about what happened. Renee kept things light by telling us about her recent adventures in parasailing. Some things never changed.

Charlie and Phil said they would take care of the dishes, so I went upstairs and took a quick shower and changed into a long denim skirt and black blouse. I looked depressing, so I added some jade-colored clips to my hair. The drive to the cemetery was short and I gazed out the back of the cruiser in reflective silence. When we reached it, I swallowed with difficulty. The backdrop of tombstones glittered under the waning sun, streaks of gold, red, and a hint of purple lighting them up. It was beautiful in a melancholy way.

I stood off to the side, staring up at a stone angel, its hands in a prayer position and a heartbreaking look on its face. I glanced down at the tombstone it guarded and read the name. _Daniel Spellman, 2000-2010. _My heart gave a throb; so young. Eric had been young, too. He wouldn't get to live his life. I turned slowly, the tears burning behind my eyes when I felt Jake's warm hand on my back.

His hand cupped my cheek as he kissed my forehead. Then my eyes widened in surprise as I saw every single member of the two packs' standing behind him. Even Leah had come. I sucked in a shaky breath as the first two tears trickled free.

"You all came? You barely knew him," I managed to say through the lump in my throat.

"He was a friend of yours, Bella," Sam said simply. "You're part of our family. How could we not come?"

I did cry then. He was right; they were part of my family. I saw every single one of the Cullen's file into the cemetery, too. Eric's parents had picked the time right – as the sun set – that they were able to come. The only one who wasn't there was Carlisle and I knew that was because he was with Seth.

Jake wrapped his arms around me as I tried to stop crying. I managed to pull away, but knew it wasn't over yet. When I pulled away I saw my mom had tears in her eyes as well. I made sure to hug every one of the pack.

When I got to Leah, I threw my arms around her. I didn't care. I heard her give a weary chuckle. "I'm only going to stay for a little bit," she said quietly. "I need to get back."

I understood. "Of course. Thank you, Leah. It means a lot to me that you came at all."

I hugged the Cullen's, even Rosalie, who gave me a small but genuine smile. Then I saw Angela, Ben and Jessica. Jess was standing off to the side so I went to her first. I laid a hand on her arm and she turned toward me. Her face was even paler than normal, her eyes lifeless. It was unusual to see her this way. I gave her a hug and whispered what Mike said about her.

She sniffled, her lip quivering, and nodded her head quickly. I stood with them for a few minutes until Mike's parents' came over. I knew this was going to be hard, but I passed on Mike's message and ended up with a crying Mrs. Newton on my shoulder. The grief was weighing me down so I was thankful when Charlie carefully guided her away and wrapped an arm around her. I looked for Jake, and he was right there, right where I needed him to be. He wrapped his arms around me and I leaned my head against his chest as Reverend Weber started the service.

Eric's parents had decided they wanted everything outdoors as long as it didn't rain and the weather had held up. Angela's father agreed to do a small service right there and then the burial. I felt the heat of Jake's chest against my back as a cool wind whipped my hair around. It looked as if the rain was coming as the sunrise became more muted in color. Reverend Weber led the prayers and spoke quietly about Eric's life and how he had such promise that was cut too short.

When it was over, my stomach gave a nervous jitter as all of the family and friends of Eric filed forward to get a single rose. I tried not to look at the urn and think that was all that was left of Eric; my lips shook with the effort of holding back the tears as I took my rose and waited my turn. When I reached the flower-laden circle around the urn – along with a picture - I felt a few cold tears tickle my cheeks as I laid the flower down and whispered my goodbye.

Everyone was going to the diner that had been closed down for general business to hold a gathering there for friends and family. I wanted to make an appearance, but I also wanted to stop in to check on Seth with the rest of the pack. I told Charlie I would be there, but wanted to stop at the Cullen's first.

With that we headed back to the Cullen's and ended up sitting around the living room again when Edward appeared and beckoned Jacob and I outside to talk. He moved far enough away from the house so it would be private.

"I am just going to say this right out," Edward said quietly. "We were not sure how this would work with a werewolf, but Carlisle would like to try sucking the venom out. He considered this before, but we had the added problem of Seth healing so quickly; I believe it would be the same with trying to suck the venom out."

Jacob looked dumbfounded. "Can that work? How would he do it if Seth keeps healing?"

Edward looked uncomfortable as he ran a hand through his hair. "One of us would have to continue to cut deeper into the wound to be able to continue sucking it out. Not an entirely easy task, but nothing else seems to be working. We can't use our teeth for obvious reasons, but this _could_ work."

I stared at them in surprise.

Jake bit his lip. Then his jaw hardened determinedly. "You need to talk to Sue and Leah. I may be Alpha, and I can make this decision, but I need their input as well. He's a son and a brother, too, not just a pack member. If they are okay with this, I say do it. But I want _you_ to suck the venom out, not Carlisle."

Edward raised an eyebrow. "Me?"

"It's not that I think Carlisle can't do it, but you sucked the venom out of Bella, didn't you? Plus Carlisle has more skill with a surgical blade."

It was true and Edward didn't deny that. He looked a little worried, but he nodded in agreement. "We will go talk to Sue and Leah, and if the three of you green light this, I will do it."

Leah and Sue were vehemently against it at first, but Jake explained to them how this might be the only way to do it. He also explained that Edward had done this before with a positive result. With Carlisle's gentle nature and calming tone backing Jake up, they reluctantly agreed. Carlisle asked Jacob if he and one of the other guys would be able to stay in there and stomach what was about to happen; he needed them to hold Seth down.

My stomach twinged at the thought. Carlisle explained that with all the morphine he was giving Seth that his body was burning it a little faster and he didn't want to overdose him too much. He promised to do it as quick and efficient as possible, but he needed two other people in there at least to hold him down in case of it wearing off too quick.

Sue was visibly shaking. "He might feel it?" she whispered.

Carlisle looked utterly worn down as he answered. "He might. If there were any other way, I would do it, but I think this might be our best bet. And I'm sorry, but I can't allow you or Leah in here. I know you want to be there for him, but it's going to be difficult as is."

With everyone in agreement, Jacob asked Sam to go in with him. He knew as the other Alpha that Sam would be the only one who could keep a handle on his emotions. They spoke briefly to the guys, and I ended up sitting in utter silence with all of them, the rest of the Cullen's lingering nearby. It was quiet for awhile, but my stomach wouldn't settle down, as I thought of what was happening in that room. Suddenly I heard a pained cry.

I glanced up and everyone's face was pale. A second cry followed and in a matter of minutes it became more frequent. My eyes blurred; I saw Leah struggling with Emmett as she tried to get by him.

"Leah, please don't. It won't help. I need you here with me." Sue's voice was agonized and it stopped Leah.

I heard a faint ringing in my ears as the cries grew louder and suddenly I was yanked to my feet and pulled outside. Away from the cries, Embry pushed me down onto the step and forced my head between my knees.

"Breathe Bella," he commanded.

I sucked in a deep breath until my head stopped spinning.

"Are you okay? Jake will kill me if you pass out on my watch." Jake knew me too well.

"I-I think so," I mumbled. I glanced up at him and saw that he looked a bit sick. "Are _you_ okay?" I asked.

He smiled wryly. "I think so." He sat with me and we both winced at the sound. I could still hear it faintly.

Suddenly it got quiet. Everything in me froze at the sudden stillness. Embry jumped up and tugged me back in the house so fast I nearly fell over. Everyone was standing, completely and utterly terrified.

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**JPOV:**

Sam and I kept our eyes locked on each other as he pinned down Seth's legs and I kept one arm pressed against his chest and the other on his arm. I was kind of too scared to look down at Seth and to see Carlisle cut into him. He had given him as much morphine as he could, but he seemed worried that it wasn't enough. My eyes caught the flash of the blade as Carlisle leaned over Seth's free arm.

I felt Seth's body twitch, but he didn't react too much at first. What was supposed to be my enemy now had his mouth pressed to Seth's forearm. He would occasionally lean back and Carlisle would cut deeper. Seth moaned first; then the screams came, and then he began struggling. Sam and I were half lying on him, our eyes still locked. Seth's cries had increased in volume and it was like a hard sucker punch.

"Are you almost done?" I gasped as Seth's arm nearly loosened from my grip.

Edward pulled back again, his mouth stained with the blood of my brother. His eyes were frenzied and dark. "Almost," he said tightly.

He lowered his head again when Carlisle leaned back, and I tried to breathe deeply. The smell of blood was almost sickening. Seth gave one last horrible cry and Edward darted backward until his back was against the wall. "It's clean," he panted. "I tasted only morphine."

I swallowed hard at the sight of Seth's arm. It was still gouged and bloody, but I saw the way the skin began pulling together as it healed. We watched – holding our breath – as he lay there unmoving and unresponsive.

I pulled away, my heart sinking, aching, feeling as if it were about to crack.

I turned away, struggling not to scream and rip out of my skin to release the wolf. As I battled with my emotions, I heard a soft groan. "Is he…?" Edward murmured in surprise.

I spun around as Seth stirred again, a harsh groan escaping from his throat. Carlisle was leaning over him? "Seth, are you with us?"

Seth's eyes blinked open, looking confused and bleary. "Where am I? Why does everything hurt?" he groaned painfully.

Feeling rushed through my body again; I had been so tense it was like needles stabbing into my skin. Relief washed through me. "Seth, you're awake. Oh thank God. I need to get Sue and Leah."

Carlisle was checking him over. He frowned when Seth winced after he pushed on his abdomen. He did an ultrasound scan. "It seems as if your internal organs aren't healing very fast. I think the venom damaged them a bit; it might take longer than normal to heal. Overall you will be just fine, though. The vampire bite you suffered didn't seem to cause any really serious lasting damage."

Seth looked exhausted, pale, but okay. I saw Edward slip out the door to tell everyone. I sat down thankful my brother would be okay. He glanced over at me and I smiled weakly. "I'm sorry, Seth," I mumbled.

"It's not your fault, Jacob. I was ambushed and you can't be everywhere at once."

I sighed. I gave him a light punch and then a fast hug. He smiled slightly, seeming to understand I was sorry for how I had acted before and I had been apologizing for that as well. "We're fine, Jake, Everything will be just fine."

It finally seemed like everything would be.

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**BPOV:**

Edward came down the steps, looking incredibly worn and tired. I swallowed hard as I caught sight of the smear of blood at the corner of his mouth. We all stood, a collective nervous wreck, as Edward stopped in front of everyone.

"It worked. There was some minor damage to the organs, which might take longer than normal to heal, but he'll be fine."

The ensuing ruckus that followed was overwhelming. Everyone was in the room, hugging Seth; there were tears and laughter. I wrapped my fingers around Jake's and he grinned down at me with lightness to his eyes that I hadn't seen in awhile. Finally Carlisle chased everyone out so Seth could rest and so he could be with his mom and sister. Knowing that he was going to be fine, Jake went with me back to the diner. We talked with Angela and Ben a little. Jessica talked with us also, but she had become so much quieter.

When everything wrapped up, Jake went home first to check in with Billy, but promised he would be at Charlie's soon. When we got home, I went up to my room, mentally and physically exhausted. I heard a soft sound at my window and turned. Edward's voice floated to me from outside.

"Bella, can I come in?" he asked softly.

"Sure," I replied.

I was a little overcome with memories of Edward in my bedroom as he slipped noiselessly inside. He seemed a little agitated, looked tired even though I knew he physically wasn't, and a little sad.

"Is everything okay, Edward?" I asked worriedly.

He took a deep breath. "Well, mostly. I came to tell you I'm leaving soon, though."

I halted to a stop, feeling my heart shudder a bit. "W-what?" I whispered.

He looked so unbearably sad. "Bella, all I wanted for you was a happy, fulfilling life. You have it, and I'm really glad for that. I… well, I need some time away." He looked down at the floor.

I realized what he meant because I could see the sadness in his face. I sniffled a little; my emotions were entirely out of control. I hated hurting him; I knew I wanted Jake, the one I was so in love with, but Edward was my first love and it was upsetting to know he was hurting.

I threw my arms around him, hugging him tight. "I don't want you to go, but I guess I can't be selfish. Edward, I'm sorry I'm still hurting you, but if this is what you need then I guess I have to be okay with it…" My voice cracked and I cried against his shoulder.

"Bella, stop apologizing. Please. It took me a little while, but Jacob is good for you. He loves you so much, and I can see how much you love him. I'm really glad we could help create some stability for you to finally be able to relax and have the life you deserve."

I wiped my tears away, fingers shaking, as I turned to breathe in his sweet scent. "I do love you, Edward. I want you to be happy, too, and if this will help then I want it for you. Will you come back, though? I don't want you out of my life forever… but only if that's something you can handle," I added softly.

His hand stroked my back slowly. "Yes, of course. I still want you in my life, Bella. I'm going to spend some time in Denali, but of course I will be back. My family will be here and I would still like to see you."

"Good," I whispered. "Thank you for everything, Edward." I cupped his face in my hands lightly and watched that sweet, dazzling smile lighten his face. I brushed my lips, feather-light, against his one last time. His golden eyes twinkled at me.

"I'll see you before you know it, Bella. Be happy, okay?"

"You too," I murmured.

When he pulled away I saw Jake leaning against the doorway. I was worried for a split second that he would misunderstand, but he had a small smile on his face.

"Thank you, Edward," Jake said quietly.

Edward inclined his head. "I know it was not easy for anyone. I am really glad everything worked out for the best. Take care of her, Jacob."

"I always will. I was wrong about you and your family. You're all good people and I'm grateful for what you've done for us. I want you to be a part of Bella's life if that is what you both want."

My chin was beginning to shake with the burn of tears yet again. Edward smiled. "Thank you, Jacob. I was wrong as well; you are good for Bella and you have proven to be one hell of an Alpha. Take care of yourself." He turned to me. "Bella, I will talk to you soon," he said with that trademark smile and then he was gone.

I cried a little, but Jake just came over and held me. Tired beyond belief, I changed and lay down in bed. I heard Charlie come home and I opened the door a crack to peek out when he came up. He had quite a bit of news for me. Mike had woken up and I was elated. They were holding off on visitors except for his parents right now; there was a possibility that there had been some paralysis, but that within time it was quite possible he could regain feeling which was at least hopeful. He told me that Renee and Phil were at the hotel and settled for a couple days; I would be able to spend some time with them. He also said there was a message from the owner of the bookstore in Port Angeles telling me I had a job and I should contact her to let her know if I wanted it. I was so happy that I bounced back into bed while Jake laughed at me.

"We'll go see Mike tomorrow if we're allowed and Seth, too. If you want we can drive to Port Angeles tomorrow." I agreed happily.

As we lay curled around each other, Jake yawned sleepily. I was close to dozing off when Jake whispered in my ear. "I love you, Bells. I love you more than a klepto loves to steal."

That surprised a snort of laughter out of me. "I love you more than a pyromaniac loves fire," I said with a giggle.

He snickered. "I love you more than a fat kid loves cake."

We couldn't stop giggling after that as we lay there in our own private bubble of perfect happiness.

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**A/N: I know there was a lot of sadness yet again, but as you can see that has – mostly – ended. Haha. The next chapters will be a year later, one focused on a specific time within that first year, and then the last chapter will be chosen by a poll I will set up pretty soon. It will be four significant times in their life together and whichever has the most votes will be the last one. **


	34. Reflection

**A/N: Okay folks, the poll is up on my profile, if you'd like to vote for what will be the last chapter! That will be the one following the one after this! More AN to follow below….**

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**One Year Later (Present):**

Jake's grip on my hand was firm as he turned to gaze at me reassuringly. "It's okay Bella, I'm right here with you. I promise I will not let go; no matter what. If you really don't want to do this, though, that's okay."

I just stared down trying to swallow the little bubble of unease. I knew it was kind of ridiculous to be nervous, but I couldn't seem to help it. I also didn't want to wimp out. I finally dragged my gaze up to Jake's and met his warm, dark eyes. I got distracted and wondered why I was being such a baby about this when I could see the love he had for me so clearly reflected in his eyes; I knew he would not let me go because Jake never did. He was always there for me.

"I can do this. I just… need to be ready," I mumbled.

I heard Edward's soft chuckle behind me. "You truly are one of a kind, Bella Swan."

He was perched comfortably on the ground, his back against a tree. Qahla was sitting on his lap, her eyes on me and Jake as Edward rubbed her head. I still couldn't help but giggle at the sight of her sitting on him or being held by him. He always seemed so perplexed by her ease with him and his family even if he wasn't around real often. I was glad he was here for this, though. It was fitting. I knew he felt the same, and I could practically feel his support of me doing this.

I rolled my eyes at Edward, but smiled a little. "Sure, sure," I muttered.

I turned back and looked out. I knew I should stop thinking about it and just do it. I turned back to Edward. "You _will_ hold her and keep her on your lap when I do it, right?"

They both snickered at me. "I will hold onto her like Jake will hold on to you," Edward promised, putting his hand over his heart.

I knew he would. It was nice to have someone else as back-up that I knew I could trust myself and anyone I loved with. I turned back to Jake and his sunny smile was in place. I squeezed his hand, ready to do this.

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**Past:**

After Seth had woken up and I heard the news about Mike, I knew there was a huge party in the works. Knowing how much I hate surprises, Jake had warned me that it was a huge combination party for both Seth _and _Mike. It was also going to be a "going away" party for me because when Jake and I went to Port Angeles the following day I spoke with Melanie, the owner of Heavenly Scents Bookstore & Café, and I left in a daze. I officially had a job that started in a couple weeks and I even had a place to live.

Melanie's husband apparently was the owner of a few nearby homes and he rented them out on an as-needed basis. She said she usually offered one of the homes to whoever was helping to manage the store and needed a place to stay. It made it an easy commute. She showed it to both me and Jake since he would be spending a good bit of time there with me. It was a ten minute drive and it was nestled into a woodsy area which gave it plenty of privacy which was what we both wanted. I fell in love with the cottage immediately; it was a beautiful gray-stone with a side deck and French doors that opened to it. It was on the smaller side and Melanie and her husband took care of the gardens and the yard in between tenants, so there were flowers planted in the front and around the deck along with a few window boxes that brightened it up considerably.

Inside the cottage, the living room was bright and open with a big window overlooking the picturesque yard. I was excited to see that there was a fireplace as well. The kitchen was small, but fully serviceable and had a dining area. The main bedroom was perfect, simple but elegant. I knew we would need a bigger bed, though. The extra room, she told us, could easily be transformed into a spare room if we wanted. Each room had a sky light, and the bathtub in the bathroom was actually a whirlpool. The rooms were lightly furnished, but we would need a few things.

I was beyond excited about it and so was Jake. It was beautiful, it was simple, and it would be a perfect starter home. She was going to draw up some papers for me to sign so we could move in when I started working. When we had finished we drove back to Forks to visit Mike. Jake stayed in the hall so I could visit him for a little bit and let him know about the bonfire party. I was hesitant to tell him, even though it was for him, too. The doctors had been correct; he hadn't regained feeling in his legs. I couldn't even begin to imagine how it felt to be told that.

He was tired, but he seemed glad to see me. We talked about safe subjects, but nothing about the attack and the funeral that he missed. I finally broached the subject of the party; it did seem to cheer him up in some way, but I could see his fingers idly moving against his legs. He told me Jess had been coming in every day to keep him company and promised to help him with therapy when he was released from the hospital which would be any day. When I left, I gave him a hug and he promised to come to the party even for just a little bit.

The party had ended up being a huge success. I saw Mike looking uncomfortable when he was wheeled over the gravely path that led toward the bonfire, but he slowly loosened up a little. I could see he wasn't entirely himself, but he was trying and I knew he appreciated the gesture. Everyone had been ecstatic over Seth's recovery; he was enjoying everyone fawning all over him. He had spent time with Leah and Sue until now, so when I saw him I threw my arms around him. I laughed as he did what Jacob used to do… he spun me around in a happy circle. I couldn't help but notice he wasn't walking right, though, and it concerned me.

Carlisle had said that his organs had been pretty damaged and it would take longer than normal to heal, so apparently he still had a little pain and trouble moving around right until his body managed to heal the damage. I had been pleasantly surprised that night at the party; Jacob had invited the Cullen's to come and they actually showed up minus Edward – and I missed his absence. It had been another big step for the vampires and werewolves. Everyone had been happy that night. The Elders told stories of the tribe; they talked about Q'wati, the hero of the Quileute tribe. They explained he taught them and the surrounding tribes the right behavior, protected them and got rid of monsters.

I peppered Jake softly with questions as Old Quil and Billy took turns talking about it. I was enjoying the story, but also the shivers I was getting from Jake whispering in my ear. They also spoke of Dask'iya, a story that was told to the children to scare them out of bad behavior as Dask'iya was referred to as a "cannibal ogress" and would capture children in her basket and then eat them.

"Ugh," I had muttered in Jake's ear. "Did your parents tell you and your sisters' that story? That's disturbing."

He had chuckled. "Yes, they did, and it scared all of us. I won't tell our children that story unless they're _really_ bad," he said with a grin.

I had felt my cheeks warm and it wasn't just from the bonfire. Our eyes had met and I couldn't help imaging our children. I had on occasion dreamed of a little girl, but I had not mentioned it to Jake since that first time I had one. The spell broke when Billy announced that it was time for the dances. I watched in amazement along with Emily, Rachel, and Kim – and the Cullen's who were right there - as the Elders got up and wound their way around the bonfire. It gave me goose bumps watching Old Quil slowly tap his way noiselessly around the fire. Billy moved in his chair with a grace unknown even to a man who was able to walk.

The silence broke when they finished as cheers and applause echoed over the water. When the wolves got up for their dance, Jake grabbed hold of my arm and pulled me up there with him. I had gasped and I saw Emily, Rachel, and Kim being pulled by their imprints as well.

"Jake, what are you doing?" I had asked in surprise.

He didn't say anything, he just moved me slowly into what had looked like a complicated dance, but was really just feeling the beat of the djembes and moving with it. I had caught sight of the others as Jake helped me move into a rhythm that I could handle. It was raw, almost animalistic the way they moved and I felt myself heating up as Jake moved with me, his arms wound around me.

I forgot everything as the beat increased and Jake was now moving almost sinuously against me. My heartbeat had accelerated, my breathing came faster and I didn't care who saw us as Jake lifted me, his one hand buried in my hair as he bit down on the skin between my shoulder and neck. There was just a hint of pain but the pleasure eclipsed it as I moaned and heat built between my thighs.

"Now you're mine," he teased.

I could scarcely believe I nearly had an orgasm in front of everyone, but no one seemed to realize it although some of our display did catch people's attention. I had been rather embarrassed, but when things had died down I drew Jake into the forest with me to finish what he had started in private.

My gasps and moans were muffled by Jake's hand as he thrust into me hard and fast against a tree. My hands had fisted in his hair and when I was near the peak, I buried my face in Jake's neck and bit down on him. He groaned and shuddered against me and we rested there, trying to settle down before returning.

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The bonfire had been a success, but the next day Jake and I had to talk to our fathers about us moving in together. Charlie knew I was in the process of getting this house and offered to help me with the paperwork and figuring out finances. I had gotten pretty good at that, but I figured I could use his expertise so that was when I told him about Jake.

I knew Jake had already spoken with Billy, since he had called me moments ago before Charlie and I sat down to look over my lists. "Dad?" I had asked carefully.

"Hmmm?" he muttered flipping through the contracts.

"Um, I just wanted to let you know… well, um, Jake will be… moving in with me partially. Until he's done with school anyway, then it will be permanent." I had bit my lip nervously.

Charlie looked up at me, his face a bit like a thundercloud. "Bella," he sighed, deflating. "I know you love him, but you don't need to be in a rush for anything," he said.

"We're _not_ rushing," I mumbled. "All we are doing is moving in – sort of – together. It's not like we're getting married or anything."

Charlie sighed again. "He's also underage, Bella. How would he contribute? And is Billy going to go for this?"

"He told me that Billy said weekends are okay, holidays, and occasional week days as long as his homework doesn't suffer. He's still doing a lot of work with his carvings and plans to branch out, plus he's been getting enough cars to work on. He's doing what he can and will contribute what he can," I had said a little defensively.

I hadn't wanted Jake to worry too much about that, but he insisted he would help me as much as he could and would help to supply groceries. He never made promises lightly, and while he knew he would have to work a little harder over the year until school was over, he promised me it was entirely worth it.

We were both quiet as he scribbled some things down on a notepad. "I just don't want you to hold back on what you want to do in life for him," he said worriedly. When I opened my mouth to snap back, he raised his hand.

"Honey, it's not that I think Jake would do that, but you're young. I want you to experience life, do things you want to do, not be tied down right away. That's all."

"I'm not settling. I want to work for a year to earn more money. I know you said you will help me with school, but I want to be able to do a lot of this on my own. As for what I want to do, I'm doing it. If there's something else I decide on along the way I know Jake will support me."

He nodded. "Okay, I just want you to be sure. You know I like Jake; he's good for you." We were both quiet for a little bit until he cleared his throat. "Do you think your relationship will progress to marriage?" he asked quietly.

I stared at him in surprise. "Um, yeah I suppose so," I replied. "We haven't talked about it, but it will more than likely happen. But not for a number of years," I added quickly.

"And children…" Charlie muttered. Then his eyes popped open wide. "Would Jake's kids be…? Would you have…?"

We had stared at each other in bewilderment and then I realized what he was asking. All of a sudden I was laughing so hard it hurt and I didn't even have time to blush. "You… you…" I couldn't get my words out past my giggles. Was he joking?

He was laughing with me then, too as he shook his head. Finally our laughter slowed down. "Puppies," he muttered and we had both burst out laughing again.

The next couple weeks before my job started consisted of buying furniture that was needed and various other items. The wolf pack became my movers as they moved all kinds of items into the house no other person could manage without the help of a few other people. I enlisted the help of all the girls of the wolf pack and the Cullen's to help me decorate; I ordered Alice to follow my directions because I knew she would go crazy otherwise.

Jake and I had a fun night of picking out a bed at a department store. We were moving around the store, sitting on the mattresses and laying on them to determine if it was comfortable enough for the both of us. I knew it was going to have to be a King-sized bed so Jake could fit better, so the saleswoman was pointing out a certain few. I had been talking to her and trying to determine if the one bed I was testing would be good when I saw Jake standing over in one corner staring down at a bed.

I went back to testing the mattress when he called me over. "Hey Bells? What about this one?" he had asked.

I went over and stopped on the opposite side of the bed, confused. "Um, Jake, this is a water bed. I don't think we want that."

"I don't know, I think it could work," he said. His tone was serious. "Here just lie down on it quick to test it out."

I held in an eye roll, but sighed as I lay down on the waterbed. I felt myself swaying as I lay there. I opened my mouth to say something, but Jake interrupted me. "Look how great this is," he said as he dropped down next to me.

I had given a squeak of surprise as Jake's weight and length forced me up on a wave and had me rolling down to land right on top of him. "See? A water bed is perfect," he said with a twinkling grin.

I caught on to his meaning and smacked his arm. "Jake!" I protested, but I couldn't hold in my laughter. He looped his arms around my waist and kissed my neck.

"Every time I get in bed you land on top of me. It's a win-win situation," he teased as we both continued giggling like little kids.

I struggled to get up to no avail. "See? I can't even get out of this bed!" I protested.

"Mmm, another reason we should get it." I giggled until he pressed his lips to mine in a soft, easy kiss.

I heard a throat clearing and blushed, struggling to get up. Jake lifted me upright easily. I could barely meet the saleswoman's eye, but I saw her trying to hide a smile. I urged Jake back to the king-sized bed I was looking at earlier and he agreed that it was comfortable and it fit him better than most. Thankfully it was on sale, too, so we ended up purchasing it.

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I had been so glad we moved in on a Friday before he started school and I started work on Monday. We had the whole weekend to ourselves in our new official home together. I had made an elaborate meal and afterward he wrapped his arms around me, promising me we would christen every room in the house.

I laughed, but he upheld his promise.

We were both exhausted and slept in both days, just enjoying spending time together alone and free of interruptions. When my job started I was busy trying to learn the ropes and handle customers. It had been a lot of work and it took some adjusting for both of us to work around our schedules. He took on more work a couple days a week and did some of it at our place during the weekends when he could.

Melanie asked me if I would be interested in baking a few things for the café, which I found I rather enjoyed doing. I would get up and go in at five thirty in the morning and bake there or I would bake at home and take it in. It was always the best thing being there by myself, whipping up a new muffin recipe I would find on the internet, smelling the coffee as it brewed and listening to the utter silence of the bookstore.

On occasion when Jake was with me, he would come in as well to keep me company. Sometimes he would help me bake or sometimes he would get me into trouble and we would end up having to clean batter off the counters, the wall, ourselves. It was always entertaining, though. It was also a new thing when he would start touching me and getting me all hot and bothered. I had to keep telling him that it wasn't appropriate to do that here, that it was my job.

One particular day, though, his hand was driving me to distraction. I knew Melanie wouldn't be in for another hour, so when Jake slid his hands up my thigh and under my skirt, I turned and kissed him hard and fast. We moved so fast, I was barely aware of it. I felt myself being pushed up against of the stacks, the spines of the books digging into my shoulders. I heard the soft snick of his zipper and he wrenched my underwear down. My legs had locked around his waist as he thrust into me over and over, driving me to a powerful climax.

I had been embarrassed all day after he left and I rearranged and cleaned things. Also, a book had fallen in our excitement and hit me in the arm, leaving a mark. I tried to keep it covered and felt like everyone had been looking at me.

The days and weeks moved by in a comfortable, happy daze. The holidays had been fun; Jake made me dress up for Halloween and go to a party. Christmas had been reflective and we got to spend a lot of time curled up together between that and New Year's.

I visited with the pack and their girlfriends often, I spent time with my old friends from high school, and I spent time with the Cullen's. Edward came back a few times to visit and I was so glad that he did. He seemed to improve a little with time; maybe not fully, but he was trying. I was just grateful he was still willing to spend time with me. After the stress of the vampires and wolves, the fear and the doubt, Jake and I had lived blissfully happy that year and I knew we had so many more years together.

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**One Year Later (Present)**:

I stood there, still holding Jake's hand, still pondering over the past year. Finally I snapped out of it and met Jake's eyes.

"You ready, honey?" he asked, that familiar twinkle in his eye.

I turned and saw Leah slink out of the woods and sit next to Edward and Qahla. It was odd, but the two of them had struck up a bit of a friendship. I knew it was nothing more than that, but it was nice to see. I believed it had to do with Edward being the one to save Seth. It had formed a strong bond between the three of them.

"Bella, are you going to make me taunt you till you throw yourself down to get away from me?" Leah said with a smirk.

I laughed. "Whatever Leah, I can take it. No, I'm ready to do it. Edward, hold Qahla."

I watched to make sure he had a good grip on her as she watched us with an interested expression. Butterflies assaulted my stomach as I took a deep breath.

"I will never let go of you," Jake whispered.

With that we flung ourselves off the top of the cliff I had jumped off of what seemed like ages ago, but had only been a year and a half. As we spiraled down to the water below, the wind whipping through my hair, the sun blinding me, I heard Edward's clear bell of laughter followed by Leah's husky laugh and Qahla's barking.

I felt the warmth of Jake's hand still around mine as we descended into the water below and a future that held everything unknown but entirely wanted as long as I was with Jake.

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**AN: Okay, I did find an adorable cottage actually located in Port Angeles that I thought I'd share… it's kind of what I would picture J/B in. It's actually part of a B&B there, so you can stay there! Haha. www[dot]ahiddenhaven[dot]com/morningdove[dot]php. Also, as far as the next chapters go, the next one will focus specifically on Christmas of that first year. I just felt the urge to do that. **

**And of course the last one will be chosen by whoever votes! Not sure, but you might have to be logged in to do so, so if you aren't a registered user, I'll try and collect your suggestion in any reviews you give, though it'd be easier if you could do the poll! Anyway, that's all from me. Review away! **


	35. Christmas

**So take my hand and knowing  
with it I also give my heart  
wanting never to be separate again  
let eternity begin  
if you were flame  
I'd allow myself to be consumed completely  
were you wind I would wish you pass through me  
but now I know that the skin just veils the soul  
for I have seen, the face of love**

**-Jewel Joy: A Holiday Collection "Face of Love" **

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**Christmas/BPOV:**

I was really enjoying my job, but I was so glad I had off from work the next few days as I raced around the kitchen of my house trying to assemble dinner. I couldn't help pausing for a second as _my house_ echoed in my mind; my house that I lived in with Jake. I glanced at the clock, grinning as I realized it would soon be time for him to show up, free and clear of school for a little over a week. He was going to help me get the Christmas tree up that we picked out over the weekend and attempt to put some lights up on the outside of the house. I had finished most of the inside decorating.

I finished mixing the meat, rice, and seasonings and stuffed the green peppers with it and topped it off with some cheese. Once the peppers were in the oven, I heard the Rabbit sputter outside. A smile bloomed over my face as I hurried to the door; apparently Jake was hurrying, too, because we both nearly crashed into each other in our haste to kiss.

His lips were slightly cool against mine as he lifted me to eye level. He brushed his smooth, full lips against mine over and over. He trailed light kisses along my jaw to my ear. "I missed you," he murmured.

I smiled, draping myself over him, tightening my legs around him. "I missed you, too."

He carried me into the house, bringing me with as he deposited his stuff on the couch, groceries in the kitchen, and then to get a drink, his hand cupping my behind to keep me in place. I giggled. "You can put me down," I teased.

He smiled. "Nah," he said simply and carried me back over to the couch. He gave Qahla a quick rub as he sat down.

I straddled his lap, my head resting on his shoulder, as his fingers slowly stroked over my back. Before I knew it, I was flat on my back with Jake hovering over me, his lips trailing a line of kisses down my neck to the scoop of my shirt. His hands were moving slowly down over my thighs, and I sighed as his tongue dipped under the edge of my shirt to trace over the swell of my breast.

"Jake," I mumbled. "We need to get busy and not _this_ kind of busy," I said with a laugh.

"I beg to differ," he murmured against my collarbone. His lips found mine and I kissed him fervently as his hands trailed over the insides of my thighs.

"Jake," I whispered between the kisses he pressed against my mouth. "We need to get this stuff done. I won't have time tomorrow."

He groaned and pulled back. "I'll make it up to you tonight, I promise," I said as I sat up and traced my fingers over the lines of muscle in his stomach.

"I'll be holding you to that," he assured me with a smirk.

With that I straightened my clothes and he dragged the Christmas tree in from the porch and got it set up. I pulled some of the old boxes of ornaments that Renee had sent me out of the attic. We strung the tree with lights, giggling as Jake swore at the curly strands that were difficult to straighten out. We hung the ornaments and then stepped back to admire our handiwork. We both laughed as Qahla barked at a spinning ornament.

Outside he perched on the ladder in his attempt to secure a strand of lights at the edge of the roof.

"Jake! Be careful!" I gasped as the ladder wobbled with his efforts of securing a light to the rainspout.

"Bells, honey, I'm fine. I don't damage very easily."

"But you might; I mean you did stop phasing," I countered back.

"Yes, but I'm still pretty agile and don't get hurt very easily."

I shook my head in exasperation. Not long after we had moved in together, Jake had given up phasing. Most of his brothers' had, too. Sam and Emily were preparing for their wedding now, and I knew they both really wanted to start a family. I had begun helping her with the preparations. Jake seemed to take well to stopping phasing. There were slight differences; he still remained tall, muscled, and he healed fast. It just seemed like everything had slowed down, especially the healing process which scared me a little. He never got really sick, but there were signs at times, but then he would be fine the next day. His abilities were still there, just not as exaggerated.

I asked him once if he missed it, but he told me the speed was the only thing he missed at times. He said what he had gained instead was more important than racing through the woods. We had one last run together, though, before he quit.

We plugged in extension chords and tested everything out; I smiled at the sight of the house lit up with Christmas lights. We kept it simple with a few wreaths, some lights on the roof, and a couple bushes lit in the front. We went inside and ate dinner together and he helped me clean up before reluctantly deciding to go Christmas shopping for Billy and his friends. He promised he wouldn't be long. It was barely ten minutes after he left when I heard Alice.

"Bella?" she called out, bouncing happily into the room entirely unannounced.

I shook my head, but couldn't help smiling. She was carrying a rather large bag with her. She perched on the arm of the sofa next to me. Her face was lit up with excitement and I knew she was up to something.

"Alice, what's going on?" I asked dryly.

She beamed. "I brought you an early Christmas present!" she exclaimed in a chirpy voice.

I raised my eyebrows at her. "Why are you giving it to me early?"

"Let's just say it will be appreciated now. Tonight specifically," she said.

This didn't bode well, but I gave her the benefit of the doubt. "Okay," I said doubtfully.

I pulled the package out of the bag and had to laugh. It looked like one of those perfectly wrapped gifts in a store window. It was a long, rectangular box wrapped in silver paper – perfectly wrapped with no wrinkles or rips. There were gold, green, and red shiny ribbons wrapped around it that ended in a curling mass on top of the box. She had twined real pine and berries onto the top. It smelled like Jake after he had been in the woods and I rather enjoyed that smell.

Opening the package I looked down and saw red, white and black fabric folded together. Nervously, I pulled it out and unfolded it; my jaw dropped in surprise as I stared at it. It was a red bra that was extremely low-cut with black criss-crossing strips of leather over the cups. The bottom was an extremely short skirt in red velvet with white fur trim and black belt with a buckle. There was also a Santa hat that trailed down with a small white pom-pom on the end. And most notably there was a white thong as well.

Unable to say a word, I wordlessly opened the other box she handed to me from out of nowhere. Inside was a pair of black high heels. "Um… Alice…" I managed to utter faintly.

She laughed. "Oh come on, Bella. You know Jake will love this."

"A sexy Santa outfit? Seriously? I'm supposed to wear this?" I babbled.

"Try it on for me!" Alice said excitedly.

I stared at her in shock. "No! You will not see me wear this."

She pouted. "Bella, don't you like it?"

I felt bad and I knew that was what she was aiming for. "I do appreciate it, Alice. It's very, um, sexy… "I trailed off. "But do I really need to try this on?"

"Yes!" she crowed.

I couldn't help laughing at her excitement. I knew I was going to feel incredibly stupid wearing this for Alice, and possibly for Jacob, but I knew she was right. He was going to love it and it did come in handy for tonight and what I promised him. With a sigh I went into my bedroom and changed into it without looking. I walked carefully, holding onto the wall, back to the living room. The heels were a killer.

Alice's eyes widened when I entered the room and I felt like turning around and running right back into the bedroom. "Damn Bella!" she gasped. "You look _hot_. If I wasn't madly in love with Jasper _I_ might be into you!"

I blushed. She made me turn around and around to get the full effect and deemed it absolutely perfect. Once I changed back, she visited with me a little longer, but was in a hurry to leave so I could shower and freshen up for Jake's return. I shook my head at her, but gave her a hug and thanked her.

"You're welcome," she giggled. "I'll be waiting for Jacob's thank you as well."

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**JPOV:**

I was already sick of shopping after one store, and I unfortunately had more to do. I managed to get through it after a couple hours, incredibly grateful it was over. I called Bella to let her know I was on my way home. _Our home_. Damn, I loved the sound of that. Our first few months together in our house had been fantastic. It made me anxious to finish out the school year so I could move in with Bells full-time. Being separated for a few days had its good and bad points. We missed each other, but the sex was fucking amazing after a few days. It always is, really, but we both tended to be more passionate than usual and it lasted forever.

It was with that thought in mind that I hurried home. It was late enough to warrant dragging Bella to bed and staying there. I laughed at my handiwork as I parked in the driveway off to the side of the house. The lights strung on the roof of the house looked a bit crooked and off-kilter and one of the bushes had too many lights on one side. It still looked pretty good and wasn't bad for a first try.

I shoved the bag of stuff I bought into the closet right inside the front door. "Bells? I'm back," I called out.

I walked through the living room and into the kitchen and froze in stunned surprise. Bella stood in the kitchen, near the counter, clad in a bra top and impossibly short skirt that rode low on her hips. It was a Santa get-up and she looked incredibly fucking edible. My eyes traveled from her feet encased in high black heels up the creamy expanse of her silky legs to that impossibly tiny skirt. It barely covered her delectable ass.

I swallowed hard as I continued upward over her flat, pale stomach to that amazing bra. Her breasts were on perfect display. She was biting her lip, a blush staining her cheeks.

"Bells…" I managed to choke out.

She grinned a little and the little vixen turned to open the fridge, leaning down to grab something, flashing her perfect ass at me encased in a little white thong. That was it, if I didn't have her in my arms in two seconds I was going to take her right here on the floor. I slowly stalked toward her, making her back up around the table. Her eyes were twinkling at me as she slowly slid one finger down into her cleavage.

I felt my pants tent as I got even harder. "Mmmm, Mrs. Claus, you _are _a naughty vixen, aren't you? I think I might have to scold you for teasing me," I murmured, raising my eyebrows at her.

She snickered and tried to dodge around the table away from me, and I have to admit I was impressed. She actually managed to twist away once and in those heels, but I snagged her right after that and tossed her over my shoulder. She gave a little squeal of laughter as I hauled her off to the bedroom. I heard Qahla bark at us, but she knew well enough by now to stay out of the room. I sat on the edge of our bed, Bella straddling my lap. I nuzzled my nose into her cleavage.

"So, what do you want for Christmas, little girl?" I asked huskily as I moved my hand over her thigh to cup that bare, perfect backside and lightly dipped my finger down and between her thighs.

Her moan and grind against my dick had me moaning as well. "You," she said breathlessly.

"I think you need to be more specific," I teased.

She moved away and pushed me to lie on my back. Her fingers fumbled with the button of my pants and then she was kneeling between my legs that were hanging off the bed. I shoved the hat off her head and threaded my fingers in her thick hair, my body entirely primed for her. The feel of her mouth on me was always enough for me to really have to concentrate not to come so fast. Her full lips wrapped around me, the pressure just perfect, as my eyes rolled back in my head. As she took more of me into her mouth, I groaned at the tight heat of her mouth.

My chest heaved as her little tongue worked the length of my shaft, her fingers stroking in all the right areas. I felt my hips thrust a little and the press of her fingers into my hips as she began to pull my orgasm from me.

"Bells, I'm going to come," I managed, gasping my usual warning.

I made to back away, but I felt her shake her head, her lips still working on me. Faster and faster they slid as her tongue stroked and her teeth nibbled. I felt her fist the rest of me that she couldn't fit as I realized she wanted to finish this.

"You sure?" I managed to whimper as my dick began throbbing a steady tempo.

"Mmm," she hummed around me and that was enough to have me exploding in her mouth, my hips lifting, as a cry ripped from my throat.

I alternately tugged and stroked at her hair gently as I panted my way through it. I couldn't believe she just sucked one out of me, but before I could say anything she was crawling up my body, those beautiful breasts dangling so close to my mouth. I tightened my hold around her neck and kissed her hungrily, my tongue diving deep into her mouth.

I felt her tongue sliding around mine, twisting, as her breasts stroked slowly over my chest. Gently I pushed her back and scooted up the bed with her sitting on top of me. Every now and then her backside would brush against my dick, urging it to get hard again. It certainly wasn't going to take long.

"Bells, that felt so good," I whispered as she threw her thong over her shoulder and left the skirt on. I circled my finger around that soft, little nub of flesh between her thighs. She gasped and moaned as her eyes locked on mine, a little smile on her face.

I pulled the bra top off and laved her nipples with my tongue as I slid my fingers further down and inserted two into her. "Mmmm… Jake… baby, that feels so good," she whispered. I continued to stroke my fingers into her, thrusting them faster, as she pushed down against them.

I gently bit her nipple until she cried out in pleasure. She was soaking my fingers as I pushed harder and faster; she moaned heavily as she came. I pulled my fingers out and immediately gripped her hips, impaling her onto my aching dick.

"Yes, yes, yes," she groaned loudly, rocking and swiveling her hips on mine.

I thrust my hips up against her, pushing as deep as I could go into that slick channel. She leaned over her, her long hair tickling my neck and my face as her lips collided with mine. I nipped her lower lip, pulling it into my mouth. She sighed, her little pink tongue gliding over my lips, slowly working her way down my neck as I continued thrusting up into her.

My hand snaked around her hip to her backside where I gave her a resounding slap on the ass at the same time I thrust my hips up. She gasped and her eyes widened in shocked pleasure. I could feel her walls tighten around me, so I did it again and her body arched, her hands pushing down against my chest. She was close, and I knew it wasn't going to take me long.

I slid my arms around her, sitting up so we were face to face. I slid my hand under that thick hair of hers and twisted my fingers in it. "I love you," I whispered against her lips and rubbed my nose against hers.

I felt her smile curve against my mouth. "I love you, too," she whispered back.

With that, I tugged her hair back until her body bowed; I pushed up and into her harder and faster. Her breasts were spread out before me, and I descended on them like a starving man; nipping, licking, and sucking on them until she came with a scream.

Her body went rigid as she convulsed around me, triggering my release. A husky cry ripped from my throat as I poured myself into her. I pulled her back up to me and she collapsed against my chest. As I lay back on the bed, she giggled.

"What?" I murmured. I opened my eyes and noticed her skirt was hitched up around her waist and her shoes were still on. We both laughed as I tugged it off of her and she kicked her shoes off.

"That was amazing," she whispered in my ear as we snuggled under the covers and she draped herself over me.

"Yes, it was fucking fantastic," I managed to mumble in my sex-induced haze.

She giggled and settled herself comfortably over me and within seconds she was breathing deeply, fast asleep. I felt the pull of sleep and followed right behind.

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**BPOV:**

I couldn't believe it was Christmas Eve day already. I had to get some of the food ready to take to Forks on Christmas morning. Thankfully I was done shopping, but I still needed to wrap gifts. So as soon as I woke up, I was in the kitchen making the filling and a green bean casserole. Jake woke up not long after, stumbling into the kitchen bleary-eyed and looking quite tasty.

He wrapped his arms around me from behind and rested his chin on my shoulder. "Morning," he murmured, kissing my ear.

I turned and brushed my lips against his. "Morning."

Without a word he helped me bake an apple pie and a pumpkin pie before he started looking irritable due to lack of breakfast. I giggled at his grumpy look and took the waffles I had made the other day out of the freezer and let him heat them up to eat. Once I finished, I went into our room and efficiently began to wrap the box of the new fishing rod and tackle box we bought for Charlie; his was looking really worn lately. Jake had picked up the new wood-working tools that Billy needed yesterday and I wrapped those.

For Renee and Phil I had found a pretty piece of artwork the other week of the islands that could be seen from La Push. Art had become her new fascination, and Phil seemed to be enjoying it as well. I had bought a picture frame for Kim, Leah, Rachel, and Emily each with a different snapshot of all of us together; one of us by the bonfire, one taken as we helped plan Emily's wedding, one of us sprawled all over my living room in our pajamas and one of us attempting to swim in the cold water at First Beach. For the guys I had just baked extra dessert items the other day and would wrap up my blackberry tarts and chocolate chunk cookies for them.

I had trouble with the Cullen's. I had ended up finding some beautiful pictures I had taken of them at various stages; one of Esme glancing out the window as Carlisle left to go hunting, Rose working on her car, Emmett and Jasper playing a video game, Edward playing the piano, Carlisle cleaning his medical equipment and laughing at something somebody was saying, and Alice dancing. I turned it into a collage of sorts, matted it and bought a beautiful frame to fit the large picture.

I got a little extra for Alice and Edward. For Alice I had found a really pretty necklace with the figure of a dancing fairy on it that reminded me of her. And for Edward I had done some digging when I ordered books in at the store. It was an old book dated back closer to his era with a lot of information about playing piano and a lot of different songs – some I had never heard of, but thought maybe _he_ would have heard of.

I had gotten Angela and Jessica both a charm for their bracelets. Angela's charm was a book, and Jessica's was a little purse. I bought a CD for Mike at Jessica's suggestion and was going to give him some of the desserts. I finally got everything wrapped and ready to go. I dug out the box Billy had given me the other day and smiled as I opened it. It was a beautiful hand-carved flute that belonged to Jake's mother. It had been battered and didn't work right, but Billy was ready to see it used again so he showed me how to clean it up and how to etch a small design with his tools while Jake was working. Sarah had carved a flower at one spot, and I had carefully carved a wolf under Billy's supervision.

I also knew Jake had been eyeing a new piece of equipment for wood-working; a lathe so he could do more symmetrical wood pieces since he was branching out in what he was making. It had been too much for him to spend, so I worked extra hours when he wasn't around to save up and buy for him.

I finally finished and wrapped a couple dog toys and bones in newspaper for Qahla. We kept ourselves busy for most of the day until we had an unexpected visitor. I was beginning to get our Christmas Eve dinner together when I heard a loud banging on our door.

I peeked out into the living room as Jake opened the door and saw a blur that was Leah as she catapulted herself into Jake's arms. "Whoa there, tiger," he laughed as he automatically held on to her.

"Leah!" I said.

She managed to detach herself from Jake and give me a hug. "What are you doing here? Do you want something to eat? I have some leftovers from yesterday if you want some."

She laughed, and I couldn't help but notice she had a glow about her. Her eyes had lost some of the shadows that had haunted them, and she looked happy. "Sure," she said with a laugh. "I'm actually heading back to the rez, but I just wanted to pop in real quick."

I heated her up a plate and we sat there watching as she ate. She told us her classes were going really good and about some of the people she had met. Finally she got down to what she really wanted to tell us when she pushed her plate away.

"I've met someone," she said softly. "His name is James."

My eyes widened and so did Jake's. "What? You met someone? And you didn't tell me?" Jake said with surprise.

Leah laughed and blushed a little. "I wanted to tell you, but I was kind of… hesitant, I guess. I just wanted to make sure it was going somewhere. It seems to be since he's coming to the rez to spend Christmas with me," she added with a smile.

Jake wrapped her up in a bear hug. "I'm happy for you, Lee," he said softly. "You deserve someone who will worship you. That doesn't mean he can escape me and the guys' drilling him with questions, but if he makes you happy, then I'm happy."

"Thanks Jake," she mumbled against his shoulder. "Now stop being sappy," she said with a smirk, but I saw her discreetly wipe a tear away.

I took her hand. "I can't wait to meet him, Leah," I said with a smile.

She gave me another hug. "He's hot," she whispered in my ear making me laugh.

We chatted with her a little bit more, but she didn't want to interrupt our evening so she said she would see us tomorrow and headed out. Jake lit a fire in the fireplace and I curled up on the sofa with Qahla in my lap. She was really too big for my lap, but that didn't seem to faze her. Jake dropped down next to me and I lay my head on his shoulder.

"I'm glad Leah met someone. I can't wait to meet this James," I said with a yawn.

Jake kissed the top of my head. "Me too. I can't believe she didn't say anything," he said shaking his head.

We enjoyed the fire for awhile until I started to feel like I was going to get heat stroke. We went to bed and curled around each other. Qahla lay at our feet as we settled in. I gazed up at the skylight and squinted when I saw something white. "Jake," I whispered. "You asleep?"

"Mmmm," he murmured.

"It's snowing," I whispered against his ear.

He opened his eyes and we watched as lazy flakes of snow drifted down. I turned and gazed at the clock; it was much later than I had anticipated. "Merry Christmas, Jake," I said wrapping my around him.

"Merry Christmas, Bells."

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We had decided to exchange our gifts when we got back that evening. So the next morning after a breakfast of omelets, we packed up the food and the gifts and the three of us headed to Charlie's first.

"Merry Christmas, baby!" Charlie said pulling me into a hug.

"Merry Christmas, Dad!" I replied. He gave Jake a slap on the back as my mom and Phil came around the corner. More hugs and Christmas wishes later, we exchanged gifts with Charlie, Renee, and Phil. Clad in a soft, fuzzy blue sweater from Renee and Phil, they all laughed at me as I got irrationally excited over the set of pans Charlie had gotten me that I had been wanting but couldn't afford. Jake was wearing his own shirt and happy with his instructional books on mechanics that would aid him working in the garage.

I stopped by to see Angela and Jessica. Mike was my last visit. "Guess what, Bella?" he said, a small twinkle in his eye that surprised me. He had been pretty despondent lately.

"What?" I asked.

He lifted the bottom of his pants leg up and slowly wiggled a couple toes. "Mike?" I gasped.

He laughed. "Dr. Cullen told me that the physical therapy is working great. He said if I keep going this way, I should be able to walk again."

I felt tears clouding my vision as I threw my arms around him. He told me how much Jess had changed – still liked fashion of course – and they started dating again. She had been helping him with physical therapy and things were improving. I was so happy for him.

I went with him to the cemetery where we both laid flowers on Eric's grave. Mike remained quiet, but I felt his answering squeeze when I reached for his hand.

We drove down to La Push when I got back and spent time with Billy, Rachel, and Paul. Rebecca had also come home so I met her and her husband. Billy was excited to use the wood-working tools. Sue came over and so did Seth, Leah, and James. One by one the whole wolf pack ended up coming over with their mates at some point as we worked in the kitchen to get the meal finished. Sue made a huge turkey, Renee had bought the ham, and the rest of us helped to supply the side dishes and desserts.

Once everything was ready, everyone was sprawled all over the house, the back porch and even outside as we laughed and ate with our loved ones. The snow had abated earlier in the day, so it wasn't too wet to start a bonfire on the beach. Everyone came down for awhile and we sat around the bonfire, talking some more. Leah's James had gotten the third-degree from the wolf pack and seemed a bit out of sorts from it, but was holding his own. He was a nice guy, and he genuinely seemed to care about Leah.

We wrote down our Christmas wishes on scraps of paper and then tossed them into the fire, letting the smoke take our wishes to the skies. I wanted to spend time with the Cullen's before we had to head back so Jake, Billy, Charlie, Renee, Phil and I went to visit them.

Alice had so many trees decorated with twinkle lights it was like a fantasy land. Green boughs were everywhere and the tree in the house was immense and decorated in blue and silver. She had strung greens and little blue and silver lights up the staircase and had candles lit everywhere. I shook my head; it was so Alice.

"Bella!" she cried happily throwing her arms around me. "I didn't see anything, I swear, but I got the impression things went quite well last night?" she whispered in my ear.

I blushed causing her to laugh. "Yes, things went well," I muttered.

We sat and talked with them for awhile, and we exchanged gifts. I saw Jake saying something eagerly to Alice at one point, and my cheeks heated as she turned to eye me with an_ I told you so_ look. They all loved my gift, and I was surprised when Jake pulled something out for all of them. He had carved a picture of all of them into a perfectly shaped piece of wood as something to hang. It was beautiful and delicately done, and it spoke volumes of how hard he had tried and how he came to care for them. I squeezed his hand as they all smiled over it. They had spoiled us as usual with beautiful gifts and more plane tickets to take a trip after the holidays. Maybe we would go somewhere for Jake's birthday.

We managed to fit a little more dessert in that Esme and Alice had prepared, and then as we sat around the living room, I saw Edward motion to me. "Do you mind going for a little walk with me?" he asked.

I looked toward Jake. He had heard and he nodded that it was okay with him. So I followed Edward outside as we walked toward the tree line.

"I wanted to show you something," he said softly.

As we walked through the forest, I had to ask him. "Edward? How are things in Denali?"

He smiled at me, his butterscotch eyes soft. "I'm okay, Bella. I miss you, but things are easier. Spending time there is helping."

A little pang of sadness hit me, so I wove my fingers with his briefly, and he grinned a little more light-heartedly. "Come on, for old time's sake," he teased. He bent slightly so I could climb onto his back.

Within moments we were standing at the bottom of a huge tree. "Ready?" he asked.

"Ready for what…" I lost my breath as he darted up the tree, settling me securely on a thick branch.

"For this," he murmured, parting the branches. I gasped in surprise; I could see over the tops of the trees to the towns surrounding Forks and they were all lit up with Christmas lights. Snow had started drifting down again; it was a stunning sight.

"This is beautiful, Edward."

He kissed my cheek. "I thought you would like it." He gave a low call to Jacob who had heard him from that distance and appeared soon after.

Edward slipped down the tree with a sweet smile. Jake slipped his arms around me as we perched carefully on the branch. "Thank you, Edward," I called out softly.

His light laughter was my answer. We perched there for a bit just enjoying the view.

The day had been a long one by the time we left the Cullen's. It was late and we wanted to head back home. We said our goodbyes to everyone, and we promised we would see them again for New Year's. As we drove home, Jake grinned.

"What?" I asked suspiciously.

"You too tired to wear that Santa outfit again?" he asked with a grin.

I laughed. "It's possible," I teased back.

When we got home, Qahla curled up immediately on her bed and went to sleep. Jake and I perched on our bed and exchanged gifts. He was beyond excited about the lathe, though concerned about the cost.

"Jake, don't worry about it," I assured him. His mouth opened in surprise at the flute, and I could see him swallow hard. He pulled me into him, kissing me softly.

"Thank you," he whispered meaningfully.

He bought me a beautiful silver necklace with tiny diamond drops placed strategically around it. Right in the middle, where it rested in the hollow of my throat, was a small wooden wolf. "I added that to it," he said a little shyly. "If you don't think it works there…"

I cut him off with a kiss. "They're both beautiful," I said giving him a smile. I worried about the price of the necklace, but it seemed we had both been working extra hours to buy something nice for each other.

The other gift was a larger version of the wolf on my necklace, intricate in design. Upon close inspection it looked like Jake had in wolf form. The wolf's body was resting, curled around a wooden figure of a girl and it looked like me. It was a beautiful piece of art and I told him so.

"It symbolizes how I will always be there for you, Bella, how I'll always take care of you and love you."

I crawled over and onto his lap, wrapping my arms around his neck. He kissed me over and over. "Thank you," I murmured against his lips. I nestled my cheek into the crook of his neck entirely warm and content in his arms we both gazed out the window at the snow blowing lightly in the wind.

"So, about that Santa outfit…" he said.

I laughed. "You got it, Jake."

I went and changed into the outfit and we proceeded to enjoy it immensely a second time. I was sure it wouldn't be the last.

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**A/N: Okay, so looks like the winning poll choice is Jake and Bella having their first child. That will be up next! And most likely I will do a little outtake of each in one more chapter… I'll let you know for sure about that in the next one. And Bella's little Santa number looks like this: ****http:/www[dot]picturetrail[dot]com/sfx/album/main/22736049**

**Hope you enjoy the Christmas chapter… I had fun with it! Now review away! hehe**


	36. The birth

**A/N: Well, this is my longest chapter to date. Hope you can follow along okay. There were a lot of things I wanted in here and it just grew in size and I felt like I was all over the place with it. The past and present sort of mix together for awhile.**

**Thanks to TeamLoca for helping me with the whole birth part. I'm not a mother, so I hope I did that okay! More A/N to follow below….**

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**Past and Present**

**BPOV**

Feeling restless and uncomfortable I wandered through the quiet house, trailing my fingers over the newly cleaned counter tops in the kitchen, over the top of the couch, where I stopped to pick up Jake's t-shirt that was hanging over the arm. I lifted it to my nose and breathed in deeply. He still smelled like pine even after the years went by.

With a small smile, I headed back through the kitchen to the window overlooking the patio. A small chuckle escaped as I looked out at the completed, smoothly sanded wooden swing set in the yard. There was already a baby swing hanging, ready and waiting. I smiled over the memory. Jake and I had been married for two years already when we had decided to try for a baby. We hadn't planned obsessively for it; we just stopped all forms of birth control and let nature take its course.

A couple months later I had been feeling nauseous pretty frequently, and I noticed my breasts felt a little tender. I kept it quiet until I got out and bought a home pregnancy test. Nervously I had crept into the bathroom – even though Jake wasn't even home yet – and read the instructions and peed on the stick. My breath had come short, my cheeks flushed, and a barrage of butterflies attacked my stomach in nervous excitement.

A deep breath or two – and a few minutes later – I had glanced down at the stick. I had stood frozen, staring at it in disbelief. When I finally managed to look away from it, I caught sight of my reflection in the mirror. A huge smile was plastered on my face and it made me giggle. I was pregnant.

I didn't know what to do with myself. There were still a few hours until Jake got home from the garage; I knew he was closing tonight and he always took a shower before coming home. Concentrating on anything else was _not_ working, so I just wandered around the house and stopping to stare down at my stomach in amazement. I couldn't believe there was a baby growing in there. Qahla followed me as if she knew something was happening and licked my hand.

I had finally managed to settle down and flip through a magazine. When I heard Jake pull up outside, my heart began pounding and I jumped up and tried to look like I was doing something in the kitchen. I tried to swallow some water as Jake came in.

"Hey honey," he had said coming into the kitchen and wrapping his arms around me.

I had snuggled into his warmth for a moment, just basking in the feel of him around me. When he had pulled back, I tilted my face up to his.

His brow had wrinkled. "You okay, Bells? You look a little flushed and beside yourself. Come on, maybe you should lie down."

I just grinned at him as I had stared at his dark eyes, his beautiful lips, and soft dark hair. "I'm okay, Jake. Guess what?" I had asked him with a giggle.

He had looked at me suspiciously. "What?"

"Jake, I'm pregnant," I said softly.

He had frozen on the spot, and I was worried for a moment. Was he not as ready as he had said he was? Doubts crept up on me until I saw his sunny smile bloom on his face. I had barely gotten a chance to see his face light up before he had me wrapped in his arms and was spinning me around in a dizzy hug.

Finally he perched me on the counter and moved in to kiss me softly, pressing his lips against mine over and over until I giggled. "I take it you're happy?" I teased.

"I couldn't be any happier," he had whispered in my ear.

I brushed my fingers through his hair, smiling as he knelt in front of me, his height putting his face in line with my stomach. His fingers had brushed over my stomach first and then he kissed my stomach. I had felt such a pang of love for him in that moment. I looped my arms around his neck and he stood, lifting me up and carrying me to bed.

We had just laid there kissing and touching each other. We brought food back to bed to eat, not wanting to leave our little cocoon. We had dozed off a little later, Jake's hand resting over mine on my stomach.

########################################################################

I was staring at the swing set when I finally managed to shake free of the memory of telling Jake the news. I smiled slightly, reaching down to rub my hand over the restless baby in my stomach. I could feel her doing her little gymnastics in there; it was a feeling that always awed me. It was hard to believe I only had a little less than two months left until she was due.

The moon poked out from behind the clouds and lit up the baby swing. I smiled as I imagined our daughter in it, laughing, as we pushed her. I felt Jake's arms wrap around me from behind, his hands cupping the roundness of my stomach.

"Why aren't you in bed asleep? You should be off your feet."

"She was kicking," I said turning and resting my head on his chest. "It woke me up."

He kissed the top of my head as his hand rested on my stomach. I felt that little tell-tale flutter when he laid his hand on me, and I laughed. "She knows you're here; she's fluttering away in there."

He laughed and the look of wonder that occasionally lit his eyes came out in full-force. It never got old. He held me and hummed softly against my hair; it seemed to relax her, and I began to get sleepy again. I felt sort of droopy from the lack of sleep the past couple nights, and I felt Jake lift me and carry me back to bed. He positioned me carefully on my side until I felt comfortable enough, and I felt his warmth press into me as he curled around me.

Our hands interlaced over my stomach. He nuzzled into my hair. "I love you," I murmured.

"I love you, too."

The next morning when Jake finally deemed me okay to leave the bed, I got dressed and ate a little breakfast. Jake was going to drive me into Forks for a baby shower my mom, Sue, and Esme – and Alice because she couldn't _not_ be involved – were throwing for me. He was going to spend some time with his friends while I was at the shower. Feeling huge and awkward, I waddled my way into the kitchen. As I finished eating some fruit, I wondered where Jake had gotten to.

I made my way back into the bedroom and my eyes widened in surprise. Jake was sitting on the bed, his head in his hand, his other hand working the length of himself. I felt a stab of lust and sadness; my hormones had been out of whack and I hadn't wanted sex for the past couple weeks or so. I felt so guilty, but he assured me it was fine.

"Oh Jake…" I said.

He glanced up, a little embarrassed, but I could see the need in his eyes. Actually feeling the urge, I went with it. Moving in front of Jake, I put my hand over his and smoothed my fingers over his length. He made a small noise in the back of his throat.

"Honey, you don't have to do this…" he started, so I just leaned down and pressed my lips against his as I continued stroking.

His hips jerked, and I could see how much he was enjoying it. It made me warmer; I needed to take advantage of this for both our sakes' so I leaned over and nibbled on his ear. "Make love to me," I whispered.

Carlisle had told me at one of my appointments that it was okay to have sex as long as I was comfortable. After I got over the bright red blush at that conversation, I had been relieved. My hormones were driving me nuts, but at least when I was in the mood it was nice to know I could.

Jake looked surprised and hesitantly pleased. "Are you sure, Bells?"

"Very," I whispered trailing kisses along his jaw.

He helped me to lie down on my side after tugging my clothes off. I kept wiggling around as best I could and feeling frustrated. "Jake. I want to see you," I whined.

He laughed from behind me and got up to move our floor-length mirror in front of me. "There, now you can see me," he teased. He lifted my leg back over his and I bit my lip and moaned as he pressed himself against me.

He cupped my chin in one hand, gently turning my face so he could press his lips against mine as he dragged his hard length against me. I shivered at the intensity of it as his hand coasted down to tease my hardened nipples. Everything was so sensitive that I couldn't help crying out as he slowly slid himself into me.

"You okay?" he gasped as he tried to hold himself still.

"Yeah," I whispered adjusting to the feel.

With that he started thrusting into me; I knew he was trying to go slow, but I could feel his need building, I could see the tense expression on his face. His hands were so gentle, though, and I just watched the way they moved over my breasts, my distended stomach, as he continued to thrust into me. It was erotic watching him move against me, and it didn't take long for me to succumb to a massive orgasm. It caught me off guard, and I gasped, panted, and nearly cried my way through it.

"You okay, baby?" he gasped after my clenching milked him dry.

"I-I think so," I uttered weakly. Everything was so sensitive that I still felt the tremors pulsing through me.

He held me a few minutes, his lips nuzzling my shoulder, my throat, everywhere he could. I really wished I didn't have to go to the shower; staying here with Jake was what I wanted more.

"You need to get dressed, Bells. We should've been on the road fifteen minutes ago."

He helped me up and to get dressed and we left for Forks.

########################################################################

**JPOV: **

It was still so hard to believe at times that Bella and I were going to be parents. When I had found out about her being pregnant I had been feeling overwhelmed, nervous, and above all I was thrilled. I had been determined to be involved in every single aspect. She had chosen to have Carlisle be her gynecologist and he would deliver our baby.

We both agreed it was probably best. She trusted Carlisle implicitly, and I knew without a doubt that he would go above and beyond for Bella. He could be here in a moment's notice as well if we needed him. Bella and I were going to stay at Charlie's a couple weeks before she was due to give birth because we didn't want everyone having to drive all the way to Port Angeles when it was time and we certainly weren't going to drive to Forks when she went into labor. It was the best option. Sue had moved in with Charlie as well so we wouldn't have much privacy, but Sue offered Renee her place on the reservation. Bella's mom was taking a small sabbatical from her job to be here for the birth and to help Bella.

I knew Bella felt bad that I went to every appointment because I dropped everything for her. That was the perks of owning my own shop, though, which I kept telling her. She didn't tell me this, but I knew she felt better having me sit by her through her exams. Carlisle was always calm, always professional, and he of course loved her like a daughter so I knew at first it was a little awkward for her. Our first visit to get blood tests and have everything confirmed I had been over the moon. We peppered him with questions, got lots of pamphlets from him, and I dragged her immediately to the bookstore that she mostly owned now. Her boss Melanie drew up contracts when she had to move with her husband to be with her own daughter who was dealing with a lot. She had asked Bella to be co-owner with her.

We had searched through the pregnancy books finding tons of new parents' books. I then dragged her right to the pharmacy where I stocked up on all the pre-natal vitamins Carlisle had suggested. She just laughed at me. I had started the swing outside pretty quickly, too. We went back to Forks that weekend to break the news to our families and friends.

We were having dinner with Charlie, Billy, and Sue. Bella had stood up right when everyone finished and cleared her throat. Her fingers found mine and I squeezed them. "Dad, Billy, Sue… um, I have some news," she had said softly.

When they turned expectantly toward us, Bella couldn't fight the smile that broke free. "I'm pregnant! We're going to have a baby."

Bella was immediately wrapped up in Charlie's arms as they all erupted. I could see him fighting his emotions as he just held on to her. I was being hugged by my own father, but I heard Charlie's voice shaking. "Oh honey, I'm so happy for you."

Bella was already crying. She knelt down and embraced Billy when they finally managed to let go of each other. Sue threw her arms around Bella in her excitement. We had been happy that Charlie and Sue had found each other and their relationship had progressed. Bella called Renee to give her the news and she cried, too, while congratulating us.

We had an impromptu party with the guys and Bella's friends from school. So much had changed. Emily and Sam were married and had their son Eli. Leah and James were still together. Paul and my sister had just tied the knot and so had Jared and Kim. Seth was dating. Bella's friend Mike had started walking again, though he had a bit of a limp. He wasn't dating her friend Jessica, but according to Bella they were still friends, and she had high hopes they would end up back together. It was nice seeing everyone so happy for once and they were beyond thrilled for me and Bella.

The months were going so fast and Bella's stomach was expanding. It had been so amazing feeling our baby kick for the first time. I couldn't keep my hands off her stomach. We would lie in bed together, kissing, when I would feel the little flutter against me if her stomach was pressed against mine. It was an indescribable feeling. She told me it was a little girl, and I believed her. She had been having sporadic dreams, and I knew she tended to have dreams that were prophetic. There was never a question.

It had been five months into the pregnancy that we had gotten our first scare. She was going up the steps to the house, and I was beyond grateful I had been behind her. She managed to grab the rail, but she had stumbled and went down on her knees.

"Bella!" I managed to choke, my arms going around her so she wouldn't fall down the steps.

Her eyes were glassy, and she was sweating a little. Her hands were shaking and her breathing was shallow. "Baby, are you okay?" I gasped.

She had turned to me and her eyes began to tear up. I grabbed my cell phone and frantically punched in Carlisle's number. He wasn't at work at the time, so he was there in moments. In the meantime I carried Bella into the house and laid her on the bed.

She was still breathing fast, but I knew she was panicking now. I tried to rein in my own and pressed my lips against hers. "Honey, you need to settle down. Just take a deep breath. Carlisle will be here any minute."

Carlisle had gotten there a minute later and he checked her over and asked questions. After he took her blood pressure, he had frowned a little.

"What is it?" I had whispered, panic nipping at my ankles now, ready to overtake me.

"Her blood pressure is low. That would explain the blurry vision, the fatigue and feeling dizzy."

Bella's chin was shaking, and I kissed her temple softly. "Is it serious?" My heart had begun beating faster. I would carry her everywhere if I had to.

"It could be for a few different reasons, but it's not threatening. You need to be careful, Bella. You could have been dehydrated, you could need more salt in your diet, and you might need a little more bed rest. It should be fine as long as you can correct these things. Exercise would be good sometimes as long as you don't overdo it."

He gave us a list of things for Bella to do and warned her to be careful when she was out. He had told us the most dangerous thing in regards to it was failing to do these things; that she could fall and hurt herself or the baby.

When he had left, she began crying. I held her on our bed, stroking her hair, and telling her she and the baby would be fine. I was trying to convince myself, too; this had scared me and made me realize even more how precious she and our baby were to me.

########################################################################

**BPOV:**

After that short – but amazing – sex I had gotten dressed and Jake drove me back to Forks for my shower. I was so excited to see my mom when she flew in yesterday. She stayed over with us and then went to Charlie's house to begin to prepare for the shower. She had oohed and ahhed over the nursery – we had kept it simple by painting the upper portion of the walls a soft yellow color with the lower half being a forest green and we stenciled trees and wolves as a border between the colors. There were soft yellow curtains and a white oak crib, changing table and dresser. We had also started a collection of stuffed wolves. While Renee was there she talked to me about her pregnancy with me, trying to alleviate my fears. Some of her answers weren't entirely reassuring, but it all boiled down to the fact that in the end it was all worth it.

It was still so hard to believe we would be parents. We had been together for nearly two and a half years when he proposed to me. We had gotten married a year later and a few more years and here I was – pregnant with our first child. It seemed so fast, but at the same time it wasn't. I was twenty-five years old and this just felt so right. There had been struggles over the years; it wasn't perfect, but our love for each other never waned. Before we had gotten married, Jake wanted to go to college for business so he could manage his own shop.

I had started college already and was majoring in Literature and minored in business myself. I had dipped into my college fund and used it toward what I could afford and Charlie and Renee insisted on helping me. Jake had earned a scholarship, but he had needed more money for school. It had been difficult because Jake had proposed to me and we had a wedding to plan. Money had been tight, but we had been making do well enough.

The one night it just kind of hit him really hard. "Why the hell do I think I can afford to go to school?" he had snapped. His brow was furrowed in anger.

"Jake…" I had started to say soothingly. "The Cullen's told me they would help us out and we could take our time paying them back."

"Shit!" he had yelled punching his fist into the wall. I jumped in surprise. "Why you even agreed to marry me when I can't even take care of the both of us is beyond me! And now I'm being offered charity."

He had left the kitchen, leaving me sitting there in surprise.

In the bedroom I found him staring out the window. "Jake, I love you," I had said quietly.

"Why?" he had muttered. "I have been working to take care of you, but I just can't afford more than that. I want to marry you so badly, but I can't afford to give you a decent wedding."

He had sat down on the bed, dropping his head into his hands. "You would probably be better off with Edward. At least he can take care of you. I would be a failure as a husband."

Angrily I shoved his hands away from his face. "Look at me!" I yelled at him. "Does it _look_ like I want to marry Edward? Does it look like I need a lot of money? I do not need some huge wedding to be happy. I meant it when I said yes to your proposal and don't you fucking dare say you would be a failure, Jacob Ephraim Black!"

I was livid, and I had caught him completely off guard. The anger dissipated as fast as it had come, and I sat on his lap looping my arms around his neck. "I love you," I murmured. "Jake, I know it's going to be hard, but I wasn't expecting a perfect life with no troubles. I don't need gifts, I don't need a big wedding, and I don't need someone with a lot of money… I need _you._ We are in this together; I work as well and we will get you into school. Your dad offered to do what he could and the Cullen's aren't trying to insult you. That's entirely up to you, though."

He had nodded reluctantly. "You could never be a failure. Hell, we can get married on the beach if we have to and keep it simple. I think I would prefer that anyway."

"Thank you," he had whispered, kissing me until our frustrations were a distant memory.

########################################################################

They had decorated Charlie's living room with my theme of green and yellow and I could see Alice's touch with the fairy lights decorating the big tree outside of my old bedroom window and the touches of live greenery in the house with some more twinkle lights. After lots of stomach touching and eating, I sat down to open my gifts.

There were so many baby clothes; dresses and shorts, skirts and t-shirts for when she was older and plenty of onesies and diapers and baby necessities. There were a few gifts for me mixed in as well. Sue presented me with a big box; when I opened it there was a beautiful quilt that had a different picture or scene on some of the squares.

"We all contributed a square that we made and stitched it into a quilt," Sue explained.

Tears immediately gathered in my eyes. Leah, Sue, Rachel, Emily, Kim, Alice, Rosalie, Esme, and even my mom had made their own square. There were plain colored squares mixed in with each one they did. One was a wolf, one was of me holding a baby in my arms, one was of the forest with the sun shining, and one was a little cottage with flowers around the edges. The one in the middle just said Mommy in soft white felt and when I glanced up I saw my mom had tears in her eyes which made more tears fall.

I could barely thank them without my voice shaking.

There were gifts there from Billy and Charlie, too. Billy had made a beautiful dream catcher for me, complete with dangling ribbons and beads in green and white to hang on our crib. Charlie and bought me a silver necklace that spelled out mommy which made me cry again because that was so unlike him. Renee told me he consulted her, but he had went out himself and picked it out. She had bought me some necessities and bought me a collage frame already decorated with baby items and had room for a number of photos of our daughter.

Alice, of course, bought me maternity lingerie which as always made me blush and everyone laugh. All the gifts were what I needed and the others were so thoughtful. After cake and chatting, I began to get tired and was ready for Jake to come and get me.

Once goodbyes were said and hugs were given, Jake took me home. Edward was waiting for me on the front porch. "I'll just leave you to talk with him," Jake said and after waving hello to Edward he disappeared into the house.

"Edward!" I exclaimed attempting to hug him, though my stomach got in the way. He chuckled.

"Hi Bella," he said in his melodic voice. "I heard you had your baby shower today and I wanted to stop by and bring you something."

I shook my head. "You didn't have to get me anything."

We sat down on the porch side by side. "Same old Bella," he teased. "So how are you, Jacob and the baby doing?"

"We're doing really well. We'll be leaving to stay at Charlie's soon; so I'm there when I go into labor. How are things going in Denali?" I asked leaning my head against his shoulder.

"Pretty well," he said. "I have been spending a lot of time with Tanya lately."

I guessed at what he was hinting at and squeezed his hand. "I'm happy for you," I said softly and kissed his cheek.

"I will always love you, though, Bella." I knew what he meant because I loved him, too, we had just moved to a different level of love.

He handed me two wrapped gifts. With a little smile, I opened the one. Nestled inside the box was a silver and mother-of-pearl baby rattle. It was gorgeous.

Edward laughed at my gape-mouthed look. "It was mine, Bella. I have no idea how Carlisle acquired it, but I wanted you to have it."

Tears burned my eyes and I curled myself against him. "It's beautiful," I whispered. "I don't even know what to say."

He kissed the top of my head. "Open the other one," he urged.

It was a mobile to hang above the baby's bed. It was decorated with miniaturized items that related to each member of the Cullen family. I laughed at the little outfit; there was also a car, a piano, a little medical bag, and a pair of weights, cooking utensils, and a little soldier.

I thanked him again and made a mental note to call the rest of the family. I winced and held onto my stomach.

"Bella? Are you okay?" Edward asked in a worried voice.

"Yeah," I said. "Just got a kidney shot from the little one."

He looked perplexed and I laughed. "It happens; just depends on the way she moves."

We stood and I hugged him again. "Thank you so much, Edward. I love the gifts, they are absolutely perfect."

"You're welcome," he said and then he gave a little start when my baby kicked and he felt it. "Did she just…?" he asked in amazement.

I giggled. "Yes, apparently she wants your attention."

Hesitantly he reached his hand out. I smiled and lay his hand on my stomach. She gave another little kick and he chuckled in amazement. "I will see you soon, Bella. I wouldn't miss the birth for anything," he said with a soft smile.

One last hug and I watched him leave. I went inside and eagerly went into the bedroom, Qahla on my heels. She had become more protective of me lately, too, it seemed. She followed me everywhere in the house. While I was getting ready for bed, Jake came into the bathroom and wrapped his arms around me.

"I made you something," he whispered as he placed soft kisses over my neck. I finished brushing my teeth and let him lead me to the nursery.

"You didn't have to do anything, Jake. You give me more than enough."

He kissed me and led me to a covered lump in the corner of the nursery. I pulled the cloth off and my mouth dropped open. I stared down at the rocking chair that was obviously made by him. It was a slight reddish-color, smooth and unblemished. On the headrest and arms of the rocking chair he had carved beautiful pictures of the forest, of a little girl, of me and him, and he had carved Mommy as well. I felt tears blur my vision as I gazed at it in amazement.

I turned and threw my arms around his neck. "It's beautiful," I mumbled into his chest. "Thank you."

He held me as close as he could. "You're welcome, sweetheart." He brushed the tears off my cheeks gently.

He carried me back to bed – he had been a little obsessive about carrying me more often since my stumble. I finished getting ready for bed and we curled around each other, just touching and kissing until I fell asleep.

The next few weeks flew by and Jake and I were leaving for Forks for the next couple weeks until I gave birth. We packed and we drove to Charlie's house. Qahla bounced around excitedly when she saw Charlie and I smiled as he wrestled with her affectionately. Sue had made up my old room for our visit, upgrading to a double bed for us. There was also a crib and a slew of baby items for our return from the hospital and when we were visiting. That night I was standing in front of the mirror in the bedroom, sniffling at my odd profile.

"Honey, what is it?" Jake asked nervously when he came into the room.

"I just look so distorted," I mumbled. "I know we went over this before, but I feel so gross. And my back hurts and my ankles are swollen."

"Oh Bella," he sighed. He moved up behind me, sliding my pants down until I was naked and facing the mirror. I tried to wiggle away, but he held on to me. "You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. It's so natural; you carrying our little girl in there."

"I love your breasts," he whispered against my neck as his hands coasted over them. "I love your thighs," he added as he skimmed two fingers up the inside of them. I shivered despite my cranky mood.

He turned my face toward him and kissed me. "Bells, just remember how much I love you. I love seeing you pregnant; seeing you carrying our child that we created together."

He helped me ease into bed, stroking his fingers over my sore back. I sighed feeling my back ease a bit. "Jake, what if I'm a bad mother? What if I don't do anything right? I don't know what I'm doing. And I'm scared of our relationship changing, too. Does that make me selfish?" Tears rose to my eyes yet again; I was so sick of my hormones being so screwy.

He smoothed my hair back. "Honey, this is normal. I'm nervous, too, but there is no way you would be a terrible mother, Bells. You are loving, protective, mostly patient…" I couldn't help but giggle at that last one. He grinned and continued. "And honey, you aren't selfish. It won't always be easy, our relationship might change a little, but I'm always going to love you. We will make time for each other. As long as we work on it together, it will be just fine."

"Promise? I know it won't be perfect, but I want to keep what we have. I will always be willing to work on it and I will make time for us."

"I promise."

########################################################################

A few nights later I was standing in the living room around midnight, unable to sleep. Qahla was lying on the sofa watching me. I had left Jake sleeping in my old room and Charlie was working a night shift at the station. Sue was visiting Renee and apparently they must have been having a good time since she still wasn't back.

I wandered into the kitchen and sipped some orange juice. I was leaning against the counter when a cramp rolled through my back and my abdomen. I gasped, doubling over and holding my stomach. I panted my way through it and whimpered as my back ached, and my legs felt weak. The pain was radiating over my body and it wasn't too long before another one came.

There was something wet on my leg, and I realized my water broke. "J-Jake," I tried to call out but it was a whisper. I whimpered again, holding on the counter. I tried to call out to him again, but I couldn't get my voice to rise.

Qahla was in the kitchen with me now, and she was whining, bumping her head against my hand. She sat right down, raised her head, and let out an unearthly howl that raised the hairs on my arms. She knew something was going on. I heard a thump upstairs.

"Bella?" I heard Jake yell.

I didn't even have time to answer because he was down the stairs and our eyes met immediately. "Jake, my water broke," I gasped.

He looked confused for a moment and then fearful. Then he seemed to snap out of it. "Honey, can you call your dad? I'll get your bag and we can go." He was up the stairs in a flash and I grabbed the phone, speed-dialing my dad at the station.

When he answered unexpected tears gathered in my eyes. "Daddy?" I whispered.

There was a slight pause. "Bells? Baby, are you…"

I cut him off. "I'm having the baby. Jake's taking me to the hospital," I managed to say.

"I'm on my way, sweetheart. I'll let everyone know." Then he was gone.

Jake flew back down the steps, I gave Qahla a soothing stroke, and he helped me out to the car just as another contraction hit. "Breathe Bella," he whispered softly. I breathed the way I had been taught as he carefully loaded me into the car. I already knew Carlisle would be aware of my arrival; Alice's visions came in handy.

Everything was happening so fast; the contractions, the car ride, and being pushed in a wheelchair to the delivery room. Jake was right there with me and I caught sight of my family who had just arrived as I was wheeled in and loaded onto the bed.

"Bella," Carlisle said calmly as I was gripped with another contraction. "How far apart are the contractions?"

I gave him all the information he needed as Jake perched on the bed with me, holding me gently, and smoothing my hair back. It took too long to reach 4 cm so that I could get the epidural. As each contraction came, faster and faster, I got more and more tired. Finally they rolled me over and had me arch my back. Jake was in front of me and twining his fingers with mine as they gave me the shot. I whimpered and Jake feathered soft kisses over my face.

"I love you," he whispered against my lips.

They got me into position as the numbness and warmth spread over my lower half. I felt half-buzzed and barely realized Jake's hands were rubbing over my back. Carlisle's hands were gentle and his voice was low and encouraging. I struggled to push, but was having trouble knowing if I was doing it right because I couldn't feel anything.

"Carlisle, is anything happening?" I managed to ask through gritted teeth.

"Yes, Bella, you're doing great. Push again for me, okay?"

I bore down feeling only pressure and no pain. "Jake…" I gasped.

His hands smoothed my hair, helping me stay in position though I wasn't comfortable. "I'm right here, sweetheart. Soon we'll have our baby girl," he said softly.

It went so slowly, but suddenly I bore down again when Carlisle instructed me and I heard our baby crying. Carlisle turned away and handed my baby to the nurse. Exhausted beyond belief, I felt tears sliding down my cheeks as I reached out for my daughter. As soon as I saw her, as soon as I touched her, everything was right again. I loved her so much. Jake cradled me as I cradled our daughter. We were in our own personal bubble.

"Jacob. Look what we made," I whispered. She was perfect. Beautiful.

"She's beautiful," Jake whispered back awe in his voice.

She had dark hair already and beautiful dark eyes. Her soft skin was a shade lighter than Jacob's and a shade darker than mine. Her lips formed a little rosebud and we both touched her tiny fingers, stroked those tiny cheeks.

"Sarah Marie Black," I mumbled. "For your mom." Marie was both mine and my mother's middle name.

I felt his smile against my temple as his body shook. I knew he was thinking about her.

########################################################################

**JPOV:**

I didn't want to leave Bella, to leave that utter contentment, but Sarah needed to eat and the nurse was going to help Bella get the hang of breast-feeding. I also needed to go out to our families.

"Thank you, Carlisle," I whispered thickly before I went out. He smiled, and to my surprise, gave me a one-armed hug.

Waiting outside Charlie leapt to his feet when I opened the door. Renee was clutching his hand as Phil and Sue stood by them. Billy turned to face me expectantly.

"Sarah Marie Black," I managed to say. "She's perfectly healthy and Bella is doing fine."

Renee and Sue threw their arms around me; Billy had a tight grip on my hand, Charlie the other as we formed a lopsided circle. "She's feeding her right now. You can go in soon."

They peppered me with questions as I got a cup of coffee from the vending machine. I told them what I could, but I barely understood what had just happened. It wasn't long before we all went into the room. Bella looked tired, but enthralled by our daughter. I perched next to her and she handed me the little bundle. Nervously I lifted her, holding her against my chest. Her little mouth opened in a yawn and then she was fast asleep. I couldn't stop staring at her.

Bella handed her to Charlie then. "No puppies," he murmured to my confusion, but Bella gave a snort of laughter as she and Charlie looked at each other in amusement. I could see the amazement in his face as he held his granddaughter.

I saved my dad for last. Billy was right next to me and I knelt down. I placed her gently is his arms. "Your granddaughter, Sarah," I said thickly. I was struggling with tears because I couldn't stop thinking of my mom.

For the first time that I remembered seeing, tears slid down Billy's face. "Named after her," he murmured. "Thank you, Jacob. Thank you, Bella. She's stunning." Getting control of his tears as he stared down at her he reluctantly handed her back to me. He kissed Bella's cheek and gripped my hand tightly.

Bella stayed over that night, but was released the next day. We were back at Charlie and Sue's house shortly after where we had a slew of visitors. All the guys came over together along with Leah, Emily, Kim, Rachel and Rebecca who had come in for the occasion and took turns carefully holding her. When the Cullen's came, Edward came over to me.

He grasped my hand. "Congratulations, Jacob. Sarah is beautiful."

I smiled. "Thank you, Edward."

I watched as Edward sat next to Bella on our bed and saw the look of wonder on his face as Bella gently placed Sarah in his arms with an extra blanket to keep her comfortable.

I noticed Rose standing in the background. "Rosalie?" Bella questioned softly. When Rose looked at her, Bella smiled. "Would you like to hold her?"

I knew of Rosalie's background and what she had wanted out of life from what Bella told me. Her eyes were a little guarded, but they had lit up with hope at the offer. She took Sarah and cradled her, and I knew if she could cry that's what she would be doing. I felt a pang of sympathy for the first time for a vampire – for a girl who lost her life so young and horribly – who never got to have a child.

Bella's chin was shaking with emotion. "You know we'll need plenty of baby-sitters."

When Rose finally managed to let go of our daughter, she embraced Bella. I knew things would be even better than they had been between them.

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Bella and I were ready to be home with Sarah after a couple days so after our goodbye's and promises to be back soon, we left for home. Once there we just lay on the bed with our baby girl between us. Qahla who hadn't had much of a chance to get to know her had her nose resting on the bed in curiosity.

I smoothed Bella's hair back and kissed her. "I can't believe we have a baby," I marveled.

She giggled and for what was probably the hundredth time she stroked her finger over the tiny hands and cheeks of our daughter who lay blinking up at us. Qahla jumped up on the bottom of the bed.

"Stay," I ordered her.

She lowered her head and whined. "Hold her, Jake? She wants to see her, but we need to be careful."

Qahla inched slowly up the bed on her belly, and I couldn't but laugh at her. I scooped her up, holding her firmly, and let her sniff at Sarah's foot. She stared down at our baby. Her head cocked, and then she turned and licked my face.

Bella giggled again. "I think she likes her."

Sarah started to cry; Bella sat up, unfastening her shirt. She picked her up, and I gently moved Bella between my legs so she was propped against me. Freeing her breast, she guided her nipple to our daughter's mouth. I had been waiting to see Bella feed her and it was as beautiful as I had thought.

I kissed Bella's temple and stroked my fingers over Sarah's head, gently cupping it. Bella snuggled comfortably against me. We had brought the crib in our room for the time being and Bella got her situated after she ate. Her shirt was still unbuttoned when she turned and I caught her wrist in my hand. I leaned over and lightly kissed her nipple.

I just smiled at her surprise. "Sorry, I just had to."

She laughed softly and snuggled against me in our bed. We both woke up twice in the night, once for Bella to feed Sarah again, the second because she was a little fussy. I told Bella to sleep the second time – she was exhausted – and I lifted my daughter out of the crib and went to sit in the rocking chair with her.

She fussed a little and then fell asleep on my shoulder, my hand rubbing circles on her back. When I carried her back to the bedroom, Bella woke up. I stretched out on the bed, Sarah between us again. Bella and I lay facing each other with Qahla stretched out at our feet. My little family was all together and I was the happiest I had ever been.

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**The Future**

**BPOV:**

I was half lying on the bench, propped up against Jake, as we watched Sarah play at the little park in Forks. We were there for a couple days to stay with Charlie and Sue and help them plan their wedding. Charlie was at work so Jake and I took Sarah to the park to play. She insisted on swinging first, then she was up and down on the sliding board, and now she was sitting in the sand box playing with a little boy.

Through half-slitted eyes, I saw a few of the mothers that were there glancing over at me. I smiled politely, but I knew they were seeing Jake and were envious. He was as beautiful as ever.

I still couldn't believe how great things were. I mean, they weren't always great, but overall we had an amazing life together. We had fought over the years, gotten frustrated, but in the end we always made things right and were secure in our love for each other. With our daughter in the mix it had made things different as I had worried about, but it also made our bond stronger after we got through the tough years of raising a child. Time had flown and in a few months we would be celebrating Sarah's fourth birthday.

Suddenly we both sat up, sensing the crisis, as Sarah fell and skinned her knee. A big wail arose from her and she ran to us, crying. I lifted her onto my lap as she cried into my neck.

"It's okay, baby," I soothed. I kissed her forehead.

"Mommy, it hurts," she cried.

I handed Jake the antiseptic wipes out of my bag, dug out my handy band-aids and Neosporin on-the-go. He gently wiped her knee as her cries increased.

"Shhh," I murmured. "I know it hurts, honey, but daddy will fix it."

I squirted a dollop of the medication on it and he stuck a band-aid on it. "There you go, pumpkin," he said scooping her up and blowing a raspberry on her neck.

She giggled, the tears drying on her smooth cheeks. She was the perfect replica of the both of us in looks; all smooth skin, brown eyes like mine, and black silky hair like Jake's. Her smile was all Jake, though, as was her sunny demeanor. She snuggled into him, reaching out for me so we were all squished together.

She was getting tired, so we decided to head for the tide pools on First Beach, which we had promised her we would go to. It would give her a chance to have her nap while we drove there. Jake carried her to the car and buckled her in smoothly without waking her. When we got to First Beach, Jake carried her into the forest to the tide pools while I took the blanket and our picnic basket.

I spread the blanket out so Jake could lay her down on it. I snuggled into Jake's warm chest as we sat in the forest with the weak sun filtering through the trees. Qahla lay by Sarah, ever the protector.

"Being here brings back so many memories," I said with a contented sigh.

He smiled. "Yeah, it does, doesn't it? I remember having to hold on to you so you didn't fall in the tide pool."

I rolled my eyes and smacked his arm. "Sure, sure," I muttered.

We just basked in the quiet until Sarah woke up. She wanted to sit by the tide pools. "Don't get too close," I warned. Qahla followed after her seemingly keeping an eye on her. Jake read her some of the books his mom had read to him and then left her engrossed in the book and trying to find the things in the pictures.

With one eye on Sarah, I turned to Jake with a grin as he settled back into his spot. "You know, there's something I want to tell you."

"Hmmm? What's that?" he asked as he played with my hair.

I leaned up and pressed my lips to his ear. "I'm pregnant."

His eyes widened, and I gave a gasp of laughter as he gave a happy cry, pulling me onto his lap and engulfing me in a hug. "Oh Bells…" he murmured.

"Me too! Me too!" Sarah cried. "I wanna hug too!"

She climbed onto Jake's lap as well. I laughed and wrapped my arms around her as Jake's went around the both of us. "Sarah, mommy's going to have a baby," Jake told her.

Her eyes widened comically causing us both to laugh. She knew what a baby was. "Wike Colin's brufer?" she asked giving the name of her friend in pre-school who had a baby brother.

"Yes honey. You're going to have a baby brother or sister."

"Yay! My baby?"

"Our baby," I whispered. I reached up to kiss Jacob deeply, the touch of his tongue always exciting, as it dipped into my mouth. We sat there together in our little huddle, holding our daughter to us. It was another happy moment in our very happy life together, and I knew there would be more to come.

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**A/N: Hope you enjoyed the baby chapter. I will be doing one more since a few asked about the other three choices. I'll combine into one and give you a small glimpse into each.**

**Lastly, I've been nominated three times in The Underdogs contest for Best Panty Soaker. If you would like to vote, you can do so until the 12****th****. The link to vote is: ****http:/community[dot]livejournal[dot]com/theair[underscore]thesun/67707[dot]html****. Two noms are for this story and one is for Wedding Sex and it's only scenes that are listed for you to read, not a whole chapter or fic or anything so it shouldn't take too long to read through any others you might want to check out. Good categories and good stories!**

**Now review, review, review. The more the better… might make me do the last chapter faster. haha**


	37. Moments

**A/N: Since there were a number of anonymous reviews for the last one, I just wanted to say thank you to those I can't respond to! **

**Anyway, a couple links in the bottom AN will follow… enjoy the glimpse into the proposal, wedding, and the honeymoon. And I dedicate the black sand beach part to ILoveWolves! ;)**

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**The Proposal:**

I finally finished the paperwork I had for the day and filed it away in the drawer and locked it. I was ready to head home as I stretched and yawned. I had to make a quick stop at the store to pick up Jake's favorite steaks so I could make them on Friday for our anniversary. It was hard to believe we were together for three years already. We had settled into a comfortable – yet still exciting – routine. I packed my stuff up, filched a book from the overstock that I had wanted to read, and waved goodbye to Melanie as I headed out the door.

"Have fun tonight, Bella!" she called out.

"Thanks! I'm sure I will," I said as I hurried to my car. I wanted to get to the store so I had time to go home and eat and relax before leaving again.

The weather was slowly beginning to improve; spring was almost upon us as I drove past tree-lined streets in Port Angeles to the grocery store. I located some New York strip steaks – that also happened to be on sale thankfully – and picked up some blackberries to make tarts for dessert. I drove home, winding my way through a quiet back street to our turn-off. I loved how private our home was and that it wasn't crowded with other homes; it was surrounded by trees instead. As soon as I walked in the front door, I was attacked by Jake.

Letting loose a little screech of surprise, he scooped me up groceries and all, and kissed me vigorously. "Jake," I managed to gasp with a laugh. "Could you at least let me put the groceries down first?" The bag was nearly squashed between us.

He laughed and set me down. "I can't help it, I missed you," he teased as I stashed the bag in the refrigerator.

I shook my head. "I just saw you this morning," I teased back.

He pinned me up against the counter, his fingers dancing lightly over my sides. As he leaned down to kiss me, I barely heard the murmur against my lips. "That was just too long ago."

We kissed, his tongue dipping teasingly into my mouth. "Mmm, if I didn't have to get dinner ready…" I murmured against the silky, moist feel of his mouth.

"You don't," he said with a smile. "I ordered pizza so you wouldn't have to cook. The delivery guy will be here soon, though," he said with a pout.

I snickered. We ate our meat lovers and veggie pizzas and then sprawled out on the couch together, legs twined, arms twisted until we resembled a pretzel. Somehow his head ended up on my stomach so he made use of that by pushing my shirt up and bestowing a line of tiny kisses until he reached my breasts.

I gasped at the first brush of his lips over my now braless nipple. "Jake, we have to leave soon…" I managed to moan.

"I can do fast," he teased as he sucked my nipple into his mouth, his hand sliding my pants down swiftly.

I couldn't help but laugh, which quickly turned to a moan as we were both naked in the right areas within seconds. His fingers teased me into oblivion as his mouth slowly worked over mine, his tongue soothing each nip he gave me. When he thrust into me, I was more than ready. I gripped his hair, wrapping one leg around his waist, as he thrust fast and hard into me. He was right; he went fast and his hips pounding against me sent me flying over the edge.

We lay there tangled together; breathless, mussed and satiated.

Finally I gave a half-hearted attempt to get up, but he was weighing me down. He groaned. "Do we have to?" he whined.

I laughed. "This was _your_ idea! Anyway, remember, I leave work early on Friday _and_ I have off the whole weekend!"

He lit up. "Oh yeah!" He was a little more eager to get up when I reminded him of that.

I changed out of my work clothes – which were now nice and wrinkled – and pulled on a pair of jeans that were just loose enough to be considered almost baggy, but still hugged me a bit in the hips and backside. I pulled on one of Jake's old band t-shirts that I had cut to a reasonable length and grabbed a flannel shirt in case it got cool. The weather had been making him a little stir-crazy, and since it was forecasted to be a seasonable evening, he decided we should get out and listen to a local band play at the park. There would be fireworks afterward; there was also quite a carnival set-up which had him giddy and made me laugh and shake my head at him.

Jake had to park a bit further away from the park due to the crowds. Apparently everyone else had the same idea. We walked the couple blocks to the park, Jake's hand swinging mine between us. I had brought a blanket for us to sit on since it wasn't raining and we got comfortable after Jake bought a couple hot dogs, nachos, a soft pretzel, a pizza slice, a couple sodas and some cotton candy.

I looked at him and shook my head. "You stopped phasing, you know. You might actually get sick eating all that."

He smirked and nearly polished off a hot dog in one bite. "I'm a big boy, Bella, I need lots of food," he said around a mouthful of food. "Plus some of it is for you."

"We _did_ have dinner you know," I said laughing. "I'm not that hungry, but I suppose I can eat a little bit."

The concert started and Jake plowed his way through more than half the food while I ate a hot dog and picked at the nachos. When the food was consumed, I leaned against Jake, completely content. The music was perfect; soft, sultry, and made me daydream of Southern hospitality. The light breeze gave me goose bumps, but Jake just wrapped his arms fully around me and chased off the chill. My head resting in that perfect spot between his shoulder and neck, I almost felt as if I could doze off.

When the band stopped playing Jake took my hand again. We threw our trash away and wandered around the park, watching kids play in a moon bounce that was set-up nearby.

Jake gave me a little nudge with his elbow. "One day that will be us," he said with a smile as we watched a man and woman help their child put their shoes on after coming out of the moon bounce. The child promptly started crying as they tried leading her away.

"Um… looks fun," I remarked faintly. We both cracked up at that. The fireworks went off shortly after and Jake perched me on his shoulders so I could get a better view.

We made our way back out to the road when it was over. Jake looked up at the sky as we started the couple blocks back to the car. "Oh boy," he murmured. "Looks like its going to rain soon."

Almost right after he said that it started to drizzle, so we sped up. Suddenly the sky just opened up and it began raining hard. Laughing we both started running, but he pulled me to a stop at the next block. "Eh, it's just rain," he said with a grin. I gave a little bounce and landed in a puddle causing it to splash Jake's legs.

I turned, giving him a mischievous grin, and he caught me around the waist and gave a little stomp to splash me back. I was about to search for another puddle, but suddenly his grin turned soft as he gazed at me. Rain drops clung to his long lashes as I gazed back at him.

"Jake?" I said softly. I reached up and brushed my fingers across his jaw as he continued to stare at me. "What is it?"

He cleared his throat. "Bells… I don't know exactly how I meant to do this. Maybe more smoothly, probably while out to dinner at a nice place on Friday, definitely not while we're getting soaked in a downpour, but…"

He fingered his pocket as the rain now had both of us completely soaked. My hair was plastered to my head, the drops tickling my cheeks, and I probably looked like a drowned rat. I was so confused.

"Jake, what are you talking about?" I questioned.

He traced my lips with the tip of his finger, a slight smile on his face. Then to my surprise he knelt in front of me. "I love you so much, honey… more and more if that's possible. Isabella Swan, will you marry me?"

I stared at him in surprise as he pulled a black box from his pocket and opened it to reveal a simple silver band with a beautiful star-shaped diamond. I stared at the ring, then at Jake. His dark eyes looked so happy and hopeful; a huge smile curved my lips. I loved him so damn much.

"Yes!" I exclaimed. "Yes, of course I'll marry you."

He was holding me in the next moment, his lips on mine, the two of us in the midst of this downpour, wet and sloppy; it was exactly right. I heard cheering and we started to laugh as we realized we had a few witnesses as they hurried by.

"It was my mom's," Jake said softly. "I've been carrying it around for days. I know the diamond is small, but I had it engraved…"

"Oh Jake," I sighed. I cupped his beautiful face in my hands and kissed him lightly. "You know I don't care about the size; it's beautiful."

He grinned and showed me the inside of the band. In tiny print it read _JakeandBells. Love you forever._ A few tears trickled down my cheeks as Jake slid it on my finger. I stared at it, and then I reached up and he held me close. We kissed slow and deep until he finally murmured, "Let's go home."

I wound my fingers with his and we headed home together.

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**The Wedding**

I stepped into the dress as Alice and my mom held it out for me. With a soft swish of a zipper it draped over my body as if it had been made for me. Nervously I stepped out of the bathroom and into my old bedroom at Charlie's as Alice, Esme, Renee, and Sue gasped in delight at me.

I turned to the full-length mirror and my eyes widened in shock. The dress was stunning. After what felt like years, but was really only a month or two of dress-shopping, I had found the perfect wedding dress. I had wanted to use Renee's to save money, but we had opposite styles and Renee and Sue wanted to chip in and help me buy one I really liked. It was a simple ivory gown that just flowed down my body. It was strapless with a gold fabric design right under the bust to give it a little extra notice. Renee was giving me the garter she had used for her and Charlie's wedding.

"Oh honey, you look gorgeous," Renee said shakily. I saw her dab at her eyes with a tissue.

Everyone murmured in agreement.

Charlie came to my bedroom door and leaned against the frame. "Baby, you look stunning," he said quietly. "I can't believe my little girl is getting married."

I couldn't believe it was just days away that I would be marrying my best friend. I was deliriously happy, excited, nervous, yet calm. Being with Jake calmed me as nothing else could. Once I changed back into my jeans and t-shirt I went over our lists again. We were keeping the wedding small and simple. I didn't really have extended family; my grandmother was gone, and Charlie's parents were too far away and couldn't handle the trip. So it was all of the Cullen's, Jake's and my mutual friends from the rez, high school, and our jobs, and our parents.

My mom and Sue and all the women were preparing the food for the wedding since it wasn't a huge crowd of people. They were keeping it simple by having meatballs and soup in crock pots and would keep re-filling it as needed; they were going to prepare some casseroles as well. Esme, Rose, and Alice were in charge of the flowers and since Alice told me it was going to be a dry – but cloudy – day we were going to set up on the beach a boardwalk to walk down. There would be a few canopies set up and some of the tribal members agreed to drum for us. There would be a mix of that and more traditional music for a wedding.

With the help of everyone it seemed things were going pretty smoothly. I had even had a bachlorette party. Emily had the party at her place and Rachel made mixed drinks. I had gotten a little tipsy and couldn't stop giggling when Leah insisted we have a stripper. We didn't get one, but she made us watch a striptease on television. I was teased mercilessly that maybe Jake could give me one causing everyone to hoot about it and Rachel to groan. I smiled at the memory of it; I wasn't a drinker, but we had fun that night.

Since we kept the cost of the wedding down, Charlie, Billy, and Carlisle set a little money aside to combine with ours so that we were able to go to Hawaii on our honeymoon. Jake and I had a thing for traveling together and I was excited for it.

Once things were all in order, I headed back home to Port Angeles to try and relax the next couple days until our wedding. Jake was still at work when I got home, so I took a shower and changed into a tank top and my worn – but incredibly soft – sleep pants. When Jake got home, he kissed me, and I tried not to shiver with anticipation. I squeezed my thighs tighter together as the throb at my core made its presence known yet again.

I had the bright idea for us to go without sex for a couple weeks or so before the honeymoon to increase the excitement and need for each other. We were always excited for each other, but I thought this would be something even more exciting, but instead we were aching to be with each other.

We only had a couple more days, so we were both trying to hang on. It was painful to hear Jake in the bathroom getting himself off; I resorted to touching myself while I listened to him.

I tried to distract myself from those thoughts. "It seems everything is in order for Saturday," I told him as we ate dinner. "The alterations are done on my dress, the food has started being prepared, and it looks like everyone will be there that we invited."

He gave me a little grin. "Good. And I have to say thank God it's almost here. It feels like I have been waiting a lifetime to make you mine. And believe me when I say I'm extremely grateful we're leaving for our honeymoon late that night. I'm not going to be able to wait," he said with a sigh.

I stood up and perched on his knee, looping my arms around his neck. "But just think… when we finally do… it's going to be mind-blowing," I murmured against his ear.

He half groaned, half laughed. "Sure, sure. I'll be making certain of that," he teased.

In bed I was careful not to touch Jake before we fell asleep. Somehow every single night, even in a California King bed, we gravitated towards the middle and each other. I always woke up enveloped by Jacob or wrapped around him. I finally drifted off into a fitful sleep.

The morning of our wedding dawned dry and cloudy - perfect for the Cullen's - as Alice predicted. We rushed through breakfast, both of us excited and jittery. We tossed our packed luggage into the car and drove to Sue's house where everyone was. Jake gave me a lingering kiss, fingers stroking through my hair, over the curve of my ear, and down along my jaw. I shivered at his touch.

"I'll see you a little bit later, at the beach, future Mrs. Black," he whispered.

I smiled and kissed him again. It grew deeper and I had trouble stopping.

"Okay, you two. The honeymoon hasn't started yet," Renee said behind me with a laugh in her voice.

I nearly forgot we had an audience and I blushed. "Love you," I whispered.

"Love you, too," he whispered back.

I didn't want him to leave, but reluctantly I set about helping everyone get the food ready for later. I wasn't allowed to help with the set-up on the beach; they used my ideas but wanted to surprise me with how it turned out. Once we were done, I took a quick shower and then I succumbed to the women scrambling around the house eager to get me ready for my wedding. I sat while they all fussed over my make-up.

Alice picked out the colors, Rachel and Emily helped her apply it, while Rosalie worked on my hair. Jessica and Angela worked on my fingernails, while I thought they were all going overboard. I knew they were excited, though, so all I did was grin and bear it. My mom and Sue got the dress ready for me. Once I was done – and it was done in record time with so many people helping – I stepped into my wedding dress.

My mom wove the little white flowers into my hair and stepped back. Everyone stared at me in wonder, and I felt my cheeks warm. "Gorgeous," Alice murmured.

"Oh Bella, you look beautiful," Angela gasped.

Even Leah looked a little bright-eyed. I turned to the mirror and my mouth nearly dropped open. The dress hugged my upper body which I hadn't noticed before. My hair was loose with braids on the side that were clipped at the back of my head and my mom had woven little white flowers into it. My make-up was flawless, of course, and my cheeks were flushed which added a little extra color. What took me by surprise was the sparkle in my eyes; I looked overjoyed. And stunning, I had to admit.

Everyone cleared out leaving me alone with my mom. She hugged me tightly. I could see her struggling with her emotions, and I tried to breathe deep and keep my tears at bay so I didn't ruin the hard work my friends and family had done. My stomach was leaping around in nervous anticipation.

"Oh, please don't cry," Renee murmured. She managed to hold it back, but one tear escaped. "Bella, honey, you are beyond gorgeous.

I hugged her so tight. "I love you, Mom," I mumbled.

"I love you, too, sweetheart. How are you feeling?" she asked. "You look a little nervous. No cold feet, right?"

"Not at all," I said quietly. "I'm nervous about making it up there without tripping, but not about marrying Jake. I get to marry my best friend."

She wiped her eyes and led me outside where we got into the car to drive to First Beach. Everyone was sitting in chairs set up in rows on the sand, surrounding a smooth plank that led up to a platform where Reverend Weber was standing. The walkway was covered by wildflowers and it was flanked by bamboo torches and more baskets of flowers. Jake stood waiting for me, in his suit and tie, looking extremely gorgeous. I stifled a giggle at his bare feet and grinned down at my own bare feet. In fact no one had shoes on.

Charlie stood waiting for me, took my arm and laced it through his. The soft, melodic sound of flutes started up and he walked me down the aisle. I felt a huge smile curve my lips and Jake responded in kind. Once there, Charlie wrapped his arms around me. "I love you, Bella," he whispered. "You look so beautiful."

I sniffed back tears as he kissed my cheek and gave Jake a hug. He placed my hand in Jake's and it was enveloped in his warmth. All I could do was stare at Jake; his beautiful russet skin, those full lips of his, and I was ready. When it was time for Jake's vows, I squeezed his hand.

"I have loved you for so long, Bella Swan. I loved making mud pies with you as a little kid and walking on the beach with you as teenagers. The simplest times with you were a precious gift. I never thought I could be this lucky; you are the world to me, Bells, and I am the happiest I could ever be. I get to marry you today… my lover and my best friend. I'm yours forever, Bella. I love you."

Struggling with emotion, my voice came out shaky at first and then grew stronger. "You are my light, my sunshine, Jacob Black. You have always been there for me through everything. We may have fought and gotten upset with each other at times, but I always knew I could count on you no matter what. You have loved me, fought for me, protected me and I am thrilled to be your wife, Jake. I love you so much."

Jake slipped the band on my finger, and I slipped mine onto his, our eyes never leaving each others face. Reverend Weber's voice was distant as Jake and I got lost in each other.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride."

Jake lifted me easily and I caught his hips with my knees as his lips touched mine. I didn't want to stop, as our lips worked each other slow and sweet. I felt the brush of his tongue and tightened my grip in his hair. It went on forever, slow and sultry, until I heard laughter. I pulled back and Jake let me slide down his body. My cheeks were warm as everyone laughed at our display.

My hand twined with Jake's, my eyes met my dad and mom who both had tears on their faces. Billy and Sue did, too. My friends were cheering and clapping, and the Cullen's beloved faces were wide with smiles. My eyes met Edward's, and his warm golden eyes twinkled with happiness for me. I grinned back at him. Then I turned to Jake, my everything, and I never wanted to look away.

"I love you, Mrs. Isabella Black," he mouthed at me as we began our walk back down the aisle together, hands entwined.

"I love you, Mr. Jacob Black," I mouthed back.

I held on tightly to the hand of my husband, my lover, my best friend as we were showered with bird seed.

I was home.

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**The Honeymoon**

I snuggled against Jake, my head nestled against his chest, his arms wrapped tightly around me as the drone of the plane's engine began to make me sleepy. I smiled as I thought back to the reception. After the food had been devoured back at Sue's house, we all went back to the beach to dance in the sand. There had been drumming for awhile, and then there was the more standard music. There was even a song for our first dance and it was just two tribal elders playing a flute. It was soft and beautiful, and I didn't want to leave Jake's arms.

I had my dance with Charlie where we basically just stumbled together and laughed. There had been so much dancing, and my dance with Edward had been meaningful. He held me and told me he was so happy for me, and I knew he meant it.

Now we were on our way to Hawaii. It was a late flight, so we would get there with enough time to check into the Old Hawaiian B&B in Hilo located on the Big Island and would have an early breakfast. I dozed off a little against Jake's chest as his lips occasionally brushed against my hair.

"Honey, we'll be landing soon," I heard his husky voice whisper into my ear.

I yawned and snuggled closer.

He laughed softly. I dragged myself upright, buckled up, and we gazed out over the very blue water below us as we descended. When we finally landed – after what seemed like ages – we got off and walked into the heat of the Hilo International Airport. Down at baggage claim we got our luggage and headed out to flag down a taxi to take us to the bed and breakfast.

Jake's hand was resting on my leg and all I could think about was locking ourselves in our room and easing the ache. I was starving, though, and I could hear Jake's stomach rumbling massively. I tried to stifle a giggle and he just rolled his eyes at me with a smile. We checked in and were shown to the Hawaiian Room. My eyes widened when she showed it to us.

"Wow," I murmured. "This room is gorgeous. And so big!"

The owner smiled. "It has ten-foot ceilings and as you can see expansive windows that overlook our gardens." She led us into the room. "We have a king-size bed and there is a microwave and refrigerator for your convenience."

She led us into the bathroom. "And here we have a shower big enough for two and a sunken bathtub for you as well with candles for ambiance." Her eyes twinkled as she gazed appreciatively at Jake when he had his back turned and gave me a wink. I tried not to laugh.

She left us and we left our luggage lay as he pulled me into his embrace. His lips were soft and warm as he lightly nipped at my neck, my jaw and then pressed them against mine. I whimpered against his mouth as he pulled me tightly against his body. As his hands explored the bare skin of my back exposed in the sundress I wore for him, I heard Jake's stomach growl. Loudly.

I couldn't help giggling, and he laughed, too. "I want you so badly, Bella," he groaned.

"What's another hour?" I teased him. "Lets get something to eat and then I'll make the wait worth it."

He grabbed my hand and nearly hauled me out of the room in his haste. Laughing we made our way back to the small town of Hilo where we found a small, pretty café. We sat outside to soak up the sun and ordered a stack of pancakes for Jake and I ordered a croissant and some fruit. I was shocked when I felt Jake's hand resting on my bare thigh begin to creep up higher.

I gave him a look, but he smiled innocently. I continued eating as I felt his fingers dip down and slide higher. A small whimper escaped. Once I felt his fingers brush against me, my body shuddered. I teased him back, by rubbing my bare foot along his leg until I reached the stiffness in his pants. We teased and stroked while we ate.

I was beyond relaxed now. I was so happy and content sitting in the sun with my Jacob next to me. After breakfast we ended up on the best-known black sand beach on the Big Island after grabbing a blanket out of our room.

"This beach is amazing," I said staring around at the black sand that seemed to go on forever.

"It really is," he said quietly. "Look at the Hawaiian Green Sea Turtles. I heard someone talking about them at breakfast."

We sat on our blanket, next to a coconut tree, where we were shaded from view. The sun trickled down through the trees to warm my bared legs in the sundress that seemed to be distracting Jake. We watched the turtles come out of the water and sunbathe. We decided on walking the main street of Hilo for the next day, Kapoho Tide Pools for another day and the Hawaii Volcanoes National Park as well.

I was feeling sleepy as we sat there, drifting in and out a little, until I felt Jake's hand creep up my thigh again. No one was around so I spread my legs a little wantonly surprising Jake. He laughed softly as he hovered over me, our lips meeting and gliding, as his fingers stroked a pattern over my inner thigh. I suckled at his tongue, hooking my arm around his neck.

The black sand glittered in my peripheral vision, but all I could see in front of me was Jake. He kissed my ear, darting his tongue inside, surprising me. He gave me little pecks all along my jaw until he reached my mouth again. His fingers had found my core, and he had stripped me of my underwear. I felt my cheeks warm as he stuffed them in his pocket. Then I nearly forgot to breathe as he abruptly buried two fingers to the hilt inside of me.

"Baby," I moaned. "Jake… no one can… see… right?" I managed to gasp as his fingers curled and hit a spot I was a bit unfamiliar with. I cried out, my back arching, as he made a _come here_ gesture with his fingers.

"Does it matter?" he teased. "You want this, don't you, honey?"

"Ye-e-s-s-s-s-s," I groaned shakily as he thumbed my nub.

A few more slow, heavy strokes and another curling of his fingers and he muffled my scream with his mouth. My whole body shaking from my intense orgasm I could only let out a small moan as Jake lifted his fingers to his mouth and licked them clean.

He quickly pushed my legs together and kissed me lightly. Confused, I sat up and my eyes popped wide as another couple strolled by. Jake snickered quietly. "Come on, Mrs. Black; let's go back to our room. There is plenty more I want to do to you."

He leaned down and scooped me up, carrying me off the beach. I caught a few envious glances thrown my way and smiled at the fact that Jacob was mine. Once we got back to the room, and slipped in through the private entrance, Jake pinned me against the wall. His mouth slanted over mine, nipping and sucking at my lips.

"Mmmm," I murmured. I fisted his hair and he lifted me; I locked my legs around his waist. I felt the brush of his heavy bulge right against my center. The denim was thick, but the feel of it had me panting and arching my hips closer.

He pushed against me again. "Jake," I said my voice a little whiny.

I managed to reach between us and unbutton his pants. He managed to dislodge them and then backed me up against the wall again. He tugged the straps of my sundress down and his lips immediately latched onto my nipple.

"God, I've missed this the past couple weeks," he groaned as he lightly tugged on my nipple with his teeth.

"Me too," I whispered as my back arched again effectively pushing my nipple further between his lips.

With a thump, he had my wrists pinned to the wall with one hand as his other hand curled under my thigh. He teased me with his hard length, stroking it up and down against me. I squirmed against the wall, pushing my hips toward his. His mouth caught mine again, and I nipped at his tongue.

I darted my tongue into his mouth, pressing my breasts against his chest, feeling his chest shake as he growled his desire. I kissed his collarbone, licked a trail up and down his neck, and nibbled on his ear in retaliation.

"Jake," I whispered in his ear. "I want you inside me, thrusting against my hips, filling me."

I let out a little gasp as he did just that. He was inside me the next moment, his hips banging me into the wall. "Uhhhh…." He grunted. "You feel so good, Bells, so wet."

I dug my heels into his backside as he stoked a fire within me. I felt myself clench around him, trying to pull him back in further, as far as possible. Our mouths collided again, as he reached down and stroked right where I needed to send me flying over the edge.

Gasping I came down from my high only to realize Jake hadn't released. "Jake…?" I questioned.

He grinned slightly. He moved back away from the wall, pulling me with him. He slid out of me, confusing me, until he gently urged me to get on my hands and knees on the bed. My whole body was still shaking with my first orgasm as I realized what he wanted. We had never done this before and suddenly I wanted it so badly.

I dipped my chest down toward the bed, raising my hips up in the air. Jake's mouth traced a fiery trail of kisses along my back, his hands coasting over my sides, my hips as he knelt behind me. I could feel every deep breath he took, could feel his excitement, his barely released energy. When he pushed himself into me, I cried out in surprised pleasure.

"You okay, baby?" he groaned as he paused.

"Yes, yes… keep going," I moaned.

He gave one heavy thrust and was inside me again. I was lost in the softness of the blankets beneath me, in the feel of Jake's hands squeezing my breasts, his fingers pinching my nipples. I felt his hips pounding against mine from behind. I knew Jake was getting close by the increase of his groans.

His hand dipped down between my thighs and he teased me with his fingers again. The pressure built to a fever pitch, and I heard Jake cry out as he spilled himself inside me. His thrusts against me, the feel of his long fingers teasing me sent me over the edge again. We were both gasping for air; I could feel his chest against my back, but then he was pulling out of me and turning me over. He dropped down on the bed next to me and held me close.

I lay my head on his chest. "That… was new. And it felt so damn good," I murmured.

"Mmmm. Hell yes it did," he mumbled. "Making love to my wife is top priority on my list," he said with a grin.

I laughed. "Jake, you're my _husband_." I couldn't stop the silly grin on my face. My best friend was my husband.

His grin matched mine and then he kissed me deeply, twining his fingers in my hair. "I am, and I love it." His smile was full of happy wonder. "And after we sleep a little – because you look exhausted, sweetheart – I'm going to climb in that shrunken tub with my adorable wife and make love to her again."

I smiled. "Sounds perfect," I whispered as I drifted off to sleep.

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**AN: Well everyone, this is it. ::sniff:: Thank you for sticking with me and letting me know how you felt about this fic; I hope you all enjoyed it! I will be writing a new multi-chapter and probably won't be too long before I start it... most likely after my vacation. I will also be continuing my one-shot (Wedding Sex) into a 3 or 4 chapter fic. So if you're interested put me on alert or just keep checking back! Thanks again for sticking with me! **

**Link to wedding dress: ****http:/pic50[dot]picturetrail[dot]com/VOL401/12778990/22736049/389916185[dot]jpg**

**Link to black sand beach: ****http:/pic50[dot]picturetrail[dot]com/VOL401/12778990/22736049/389916186[dot]jpg**

**Link to B&B/room: ****http:/www[dot]thebigislandvacation[dot]com/acco[dot]htm**


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